#i still need to actually render victoria and colour the lines but

[dennisboobs]

gguuugghhbububu

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: Don't go there boyfriend!

AT some point in every season a bad start can no longer be written off as a couple bad games, nor should one dismiss a great ladder position as just an easy start to the fixture.

Geelong had arguably the hardest first month and a half based on our preconceived ideas of how 2019 would shape up, and not only did they pass with flying colours they sit perched a game clear on top.

Too, if you’re of the Demon or Kangaroo persuasion, to have only win entering May with percentage as crap as Clive Palmer is likeable, that’s not ideal.

After the conclusion of the festival of footy where now the idea of weekdays without a match seems strange, we can now start to cast proper judgements as to what 2019 has in store.

 1.       Firstly, how is Jimmy Faulkner going? I mean, sure, its 2019 and language constantly evolves, but whilst I’ve been tight with some male friends before I’ve never resorted to the ‘boyfriend’ pseudonym. Sure, women refer to their girlfriends all the time, but even if it’s all a gross misunderstanding that set the media alight pre-breakfast, the use of that term, amongst blokes, has just got hairs on it, rightly or wrongly. That said, Faulkner as a bowler was proficient both over and around the wicket, so maybe he likes to…. no, that’s cheap, let’s talk footy.

2.       Paddy McCartin, pick one,  you thought, right, there’s a Tom Hawkins type to kick 500+ goals for the Sainter. Far too many headknocks later and its got the Liam Pickens written all over it. But never fear, Alan Richardson’s theory is that once he is right all will be resolved by moving him to defense, “to change not having to go back with the flight of the ball”…. Ah, God forbid Paddy ends up 10m short of an incoming opposition kick and has to go back with the…. Richo, you haven’t though that through!

3.       Let’s address Majak Daw again. This story is ridiculous, but in a lovely way. So whether we should say it or not (and I’m a massive proponent for calling suicide for what it is, but that’s for a different column) this is one hell of a comeback. Perhaps not for the typical sense, reoccurring knee injuries, the Jason McCartney story, but for the stark, cold-world reality of what happened that night on the Bolte Bridge. In a lot of ways, if he is able to return to VFL or senior footy in the next couple of months, as mooted, its less about him and his personal recovery, but more about the bigger picture, one that is now killing more Australians than pretty much everything else. I hope this can make a difference, it bloody well can and needs to.

4.       From serious to less so – now Melbourne. Kicked their lowest score since Snake was the preeminent phone app Anzac Day Eve. In real hurt. And its not just one small thing as previously suspected – they don’t win the hard ball, they are getting smashed on the outside and for run, their forward line is as dysfunctional as a vegan at Meat and Wine Co. and their backline shows as much resistance as France in any military combat. Lot to unpack, lot to fix, and those snow chalets are just putting the fire on – this spells trouble.

5.       Sydney on the other hand, well Horse has called it – after a gazillion years of annoying over-competiveness, they’re conceding a lean year. But when you’ve dished out such amazing value for ground admission over the last decade, if you’re going to finish near the bottom with a bounce back probably not far away, you can’t have much gripe if you’re a Bloods supporter.

6.       The Eagles need to get serious. Easy to say, especially given I have no interest in watching highlights of last year’s Granny, but they’re game style is like a Jackson Pollock right now. If their midfield isn’t punching above their weight Jack Darling is rendered useless, their forwards all look lazy and their backline whilst supreme can't stop the onslaught. Have an easy month coming up and will make finals, but super breakable as per the last fortnight’s evidence.

7.       Oh, yeah, the booing last Thursday. Was it coz Pendlebury exacerbated a high in that fourth quarter? Was it because a furiously competitive finish had a couple suspect-looking frees go against the Bombers, whose fans wanted to do nothing but rage against the machine? Or was it the two tribes bristling when Pendles acknowledged the crowd, the Bomber fans wanting to drown out their rowdy rivals? You know what, who cares, we don’t need a symposium for booing, next we’re going to have to stop funny puns on banners, re-write all club songs to be enthusiastically inclusive and do away with scoring all together because awarding winners and losers is essentially marginalisation. So to those who cried foul, its booing – move along.

8.       How stiff is Carlton? Lost the Suns game and then let the Hawks back in on the weekend. But, this column must concede, Bolton, an ex-Clarkson man which we acknowledge is key to success (last six premierships), might be just starting to extract from the talent he clearly now has to work with. Want to see them win this week and we will accept our fate – the Blues might be finally alright. But we wait, need to win this week.

9.       As for Tasmania, yeah so given the strength of the junior programs and some key KPIs bearing fruit in the game’s NSW strategies, the talent pool for two more teams in the next decade is mighty feasible. So the game of bluff with giving Tassie a checklist for admission is staring down the barrel of actually happening. Right now, if there’s a wager as to whether the Apple Isle has its own team by 2030, get on, it would now need something to go badly amiss.

10.   Best on ground on Sunday down there is another this column needs to concede defeat on. With supposedly knees made of fairy floss, Jaeger O’Meara looks like the talent and promise he once displayed as a Sun might be now fulfilled as a Hawk. He is the definition of a jet. Such a shame we don’t have State of Origin, a centre square of him, Cripps, Fyfe and Naitanui is as electric a side you’ll see, would give Victoria quite a run.

11.   As for a pair of midfielders not getting the kudos, couple Victorian brothers playing for the Crows – the Crouch boys. Both averaging 30 a game, Cripps aside you hardly see better clearance work, and if the Crows can work their stuff out over the next month or so, they could play finals, be a nuisance, and the two lads from Ballarat will get the recognition they deserve for being proper guns of this competition.

12.   Couple more on the Crows – firstly Josh Jenkins. Jimmy Bartel and Matty Lloyd reckon he just comes back in after being dropped for the Saints game last week. Ah, why? Himmelberg came in and whilst not as talented looks a much better fit, structurally, than Jenkins, and given the Crows looked properly good why change a winning formula? Jenkins can sit until the need arises for mine.

13.   And as for Tex Walker, gee, if he can stay fit I can’t see why he can’t become the premier big man in the game. Has the size, strength and weapons to excel. You want a bag of five, he can, you want a 15-mark game playing up the flanks, he can, you want some presence for your smalls to work off, he can. Just turned 29, this is it for the lad from Broken Hill, but this column still rates the Texan.

14.   So let’s look at the teams we like, in no order let’s applaud the Essendon effort Thursday. Well and truly out of it early but it was sheer talent and will that almost got them over the line. We like their backline, like their kids, Redman, Ridley, and with Fantasia and Francis back in that side, and a fit Joey Daniher, this team wins a final. From there, not sure, let’s see, but this is a good footy team. And capable this Sunday too.

15.   As for their opponents this Sunday, how’s the forward line mix? Two-time Brownlow medalist as a midfield playing permanent flank, Gary Rohan, known for his speed, now sitting deep and putting the pace aside. Chuck in the enigma Miers, Hawkins looks in ripping nick – if the Cats go deep, it’s because of the forward line. But it’s still April, so let’s see.

16.   The Cats have lost once, to the Giants, down at Kardinia Park too. If I’m putting a dollar on a premier – it’s the orange tsunami. Still holds elite talent, probably the best list with those concessions still ringing true, and just idling at this stage of the season. Will be almost impossible to beat in Sydney and will win plenty on the road too. Don’t forget the Giants.

17.   So how many teams can win it – to this point, five. Giants obviously, got to include the Cats, the Pies are in the mix, then the Tigers and Eagles as well. Richmond make the finals, and finish the season strongly, look out, and the Eagles will make the finals and know how to win one. I don’t think they will but shit, they finish top four again somehow then why not?

18.   Couple question marks to finish, firstly Daniel Wells. If I’m Collingwood I manage him to be fit for August. If he needs three weeks ‘management’ in June, then fine, love it. But the idea of Wells fit, playing outside of the midfield rotation where a dozen touches could be match winning come the Spring time, it’s just another really problematic magnet for the opposition coaches to be concerned about.

19.   And for those that still want to pot Daniel Hannebery’s acquisition, sure, maybe he enjoys inhaling through his nose more than his mouth, maybe it’s a breathing preference, maybe its something else, but let’s not forget, Andrew Lovett cost the Saints the same trade deal and never played a game. But that year was 2010 and they were a bad bounce away from a second-ever flag that same season. Doesn’t mean they have a similar year this year, not at all, but one bad trade does not a bad club make. The Saints will be fine.

20.   And lastly, cricket – David Warner, the enigma staring down a return to the national team, has torn the IPL a new one. No-one has scored more runs this season; he amassed 692 from ten digs, which is just insane. The premier white ball batsman in the world right now, so what was a big question mark now becomes our greatest asset perhaps for a World Cup defense. Get excited.