#i think I'm just dumb because it happens a lot my siblings my coworkers one of my friends they just....talk shit about their partners like

[im2tired4usernames]

I might just be dumb but I don't really understand making fun of you partners? I don't understand introducing them to your family like "gets my stupid asshole "I don't understand the play fighting I get teasing on some stuff is fun n cute if your both into that???? but?????my wife's smart I'm not gonna call em dumb to be funny and I'd cry if my wife told their friends I was super dumb n annoying? Yeah people are gonna do stupid things and no one's perfect I know I'm gonna do something that's gonna be annoying and stupid same with my wife n friends n family and well really anyone I just don't get when people talk down their partners to they're friends? Like do you want your friends to think low of your partner Do you want your friend to really think they're stupid and smelly and hate them????Do you actually like the person you dating???? Then why are you telling your friends and family what a stupid irresponsible jerk they are and how you can't stand them????????????? Am I missing a joke goin on is this a humor thing or social thing in just out of the loop on???????

[paramoursoul]

Monday, July 17

You know I came into work thinking like oh I can eat tuna today because we're not gonna have sex anymore, I've said this so many times before and its a very common thing for me to say so what's gonna make it different now?

Anyways I lost my head throughout the day because I offered head but he wanted sex.

I went to the meeting hoping he would too but that was dumb because he was already in his car 20 MINUTES WASTED GONE. I wanted to pretend like I got a phone call unfortunately I couldn't do it so I asked mash to call but she didn't and I didn't have the balls to just leave. (Now that I think about it I should've just went to the bathroom)

Boom. I'm in his car we drove a bit because I was confused then WE HAD SEX IN A PARKING LOT

Ohhhh ohhhh his voice his body. Earlier he said he wanted to use a condom but I waited to ask why (I thought it was because he had sex with someone else) he said no more plan b's its not healthy. PFFT I knew that I was getting worried that the girls he had sex with before were retard because of things he said. [Getting pregnant off precum, wearing panties to sleep, taking an plan b right after I already took one] his so experienced. physically at least. And I'm realizing I don't explain myself of things I really should its making me look dumb! Anyway we had a wonderful time! Sweaty gazing in each other eyes (sometimes >w>) I noticed he there was something wrong he didn't tell me until later. His answers at the time felt like an lie or an white lie but here's some things to note

ꕤ he doesn't like licking! Or biting?

ꕤthe THOUGHT of being caught

ꕤ pretty forgetful

There was something else but I forgot

But anyways I clipped my yellow star hairpin on him I shouldn't have said anything! But I wanted him to react to it in text! Later! But he found out before we left. it was a cute reaction and he clipped it back on. (I wonder for how long)

A bit later Oreo Lemons calls me over asking if I like soul since he "always" see us together and oooo I hate how I make it obvious.. and his little friend THAT CANT WORK FOR SHIT pointed out my hicky I didn't even FUCKING KNOW I HAD AHHHHHHH I was so scared because at first he asked if it was a bug bite and I immediately thought of soul. AHAHAHAHAHAHSHS I was sooo very happy about it until I had a flood of thoughts.

. All those girls he knows here are gonna see it as well and hate me even more!!

. did he just brand me!? Knowing him it's probably not BUT HE REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT IT WOULD HAVE DONE

. did anyone else see!? AHHHH

. what does this mean? He wants more of me? I mean he just suddenly asked for sex without acknowledging the last time we said it would be the last time.

. because of that ^ it was supposed to be like an see you soon, till we're ready kind of see you. But nooooo for what!?

. am I gonna get in trouble for this?!

Sigh. I ran away from that as fast as I could. The word is getting out faster than I would like...wait I didn't want it to get out at all! ♡‧₊˚(๑﹏๑) ♡‧₊˚ ughhhh I'm focusing so much on this and not my club duties!

I try getting back to work but then my new coworker comes up to me. They finally ask for help but! I couldn't find the item myself so instead I offered to find it for him then tell him where it was later. He was gone but came back later. I was happy he didn't just walk off! He came to me and ask me about more items and I was so excited to be helping but then he said the oh too common sentence

"Hey I got a question for you"

(OH NO PLEASE BE ABOUT WORK) hm?

Do you have a sibling?

(I heard him but I didn't understand and he thought he needed to ask again, well really I was going through my mind about past conversations about people looking like me. Then he said friend) oh yeah I have a friend!! There name is sta-

No no I mean do you have a brother

Huh? No? Why?

Well I just always see you with that boy

(AHHHHHHH ITS HAPPENING ALREADY IT HAS EVEN BEEN AN HOUR OR 30 MINUTES WHYYYYY) OH!no no he's my friend

Oh, also what's that on your neck

(AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I SAW IT I SAW IT YOUR MOTIVES!! I KNEW IT YOU DIDNT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR JOB YOU JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF I WAS SINGLE) ໒꒰ྀི ꩜ ᯅ ꩜; ꒱ྀི১ (UGH my words failed me THEN I KEPT STUTTERING AND LOOKS AROUND)

Is that an Hickey?

( I fucking oh my fucking, I fucking freezed and just nobbed)

Then he kept asking question I couldn't remember but it was about the hickey so I just left. Sigh. That was. A . lot. Then soul cute obvious ass-

UGHHHHH AHHHHAHAHAHSHSHSHS

Breathe breathe.

Ugg. How can people be so casual about this!? TT

Then he asked when we would be moving in.

I'm was so surprised at his interest. At the end of the day boys open up to you once you have sex so that's not surprising but with soul? Come on dudeee..I thought you were the point. Later though I think two more people pointed it out. I just know they're gonna link us together and when that happens what will happen!? Is soul gonna keep being an hoe!? Are people gonna treat us differently? Oh gosh. This is a lot for me..

I'm okay though.