#i think if i reach 3 am and still can't sleep i'll let my supervisors(?) know i won't come tomorrow
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oh i need to KILL MYSELF kill myself huh
#liveblogging my mental breakdown on tumblr dot com#i can already tell tonight is gonna be awful#i mean. it already is#i just don't know if i can fall asleep. and i need to wake up in less than 7 hours#took 2 pills i probably shouldn't mix together and if this keeps up i might add a third#but that third one is gonna make tomorrow even worse bc it always makes me wake up groggy as fuck#i think if i reach 3 am and still can't sleep i'll let my supervisors(?) know i won't come tomorrow#not like i have much to do anyway. just gonna have to show up for 4 hours of nothing. 4 times this week#(that's actually one of the reasons i'm distressed and why i came to a boiling point over smth small now. probably.)#anyway. i hope i just die tonight and that's it. it won't happen but i hope it does i really do. manifesting so hard rn#maybe this disease my tests show i might have will kick in exactly tonight. save a lot of time and effort i think#i can tell at least one of the pills already kicked in but ngl it's not helping much i think i'm just starting to dissociate tbh.#suicide //#negative //#vent#ask to tag
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