#i think it hurts even more bcs we've been friends ever since middle school so

[noxtivagus]

i really really think i'm better now

[viniferas]

so uh. Funny stuff kinda been happenin. apparently a couple friends admitted that i was basically rizzing everyone around me simply by existing ever since the first day of school ?????

and then a close friend told me (as well as the opinions of several others since the first day of school AND LIKE. SMTH I PERSONALLY NOTICED AS WELL) is that he naturally just excudes a lot of charm and charisma

BUT WHEN. WE'RE IN THE SAME PLACE FACING EACH OTHER ALL THAT RIZZ GOES OUT THE WINDOW. LIKE WE'RE FINE WHEN ONE IS TURNED AWAY. BUT THE MOMENT EYE CONTACT IS ESTABLISHED BOOM.

RIZZLESS. SUDDENLY FORGETS HOW TO SAY ANYTHING EVER AND CANT EVEN BE NORMAL FOR A SIMPLE SECOND

both sides have thought that the other was a player since we've both been confessed to by other ppl and we p much had the same responses to those, ignoring and/or dodging, because we dont rlly wanna address those stuff, AND WHENEVER ONE OF US GETS CLOSE TO THE OTHER, THE OTHER PERSON ENDS UP DRAWING AWAY AND ITS JUST DHAJDHJJSH LOWKEY TERRIBLE

both of us have felt incredibly ecstatic and broken hearted and depressed and jealous and erratic and ridiculous based on how we interact with others, and how we've both thought that the other was interested in someone else, or that the other person was just leading them on, or that we were just playing with each other's feelings. No we're just confusing as hell LOL

cause our classroom and i think ppl from other sections have known and/or are starting to know that He has a crush on someone in class, and that *I* very obviously had one as well but have gotten more lowkey about it, however they dont know who exactly we were crushing on, which meant we were unintentionally giving mixed signals to everyone we accidentally glanced at while lookin for each other HHSAHS

SO ANYWAY I KINDA ADMITTED SMTH TODAY AFTER I SMACKED HIM WITH A CLEAR FOLDER OVER HIS HEAD (but i made sure he wasnt actually hurt) AND THEN IMMEDIATELY APOLOGIZED FOR IT

and i said. "it's not that i don't like you" LIKE WHAT KINDA TSUNDERE ASS VBDIQNHEKW FIRST I PUNCHED HIM OUT OF EXCITEMENT AFTER OUR INTRAMS DANCE WHILE HE WAS WAITING FOR ME WHEN WE EXITED, AND THEN YESTERDAY WHEN WE WERE ALMOST ALONE TOGETHER (there were two other ppl unfortunately which made me feel INCREDIBLY AWKWARD) I JUST. SMACKED HIM. WITH MY FOLDER OF NOTES. WHY

AND THEN APOLOGIZED WITH *THAT* LINE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL YHINGS LJKE AJEKQOQHRQODHOWWJQODJKE

what kind of damn tropey ass. romance series is this like. Several people have described all this painful pining and longing as like some kinda kdrama or rlly cheesy ass fanfic BC LIKE. THERES ALSO THE INTERPERSONAL DRAMA BETWEEN THE FACT THAT SEVERAL PPL HAVE CRUSHES ON BOTH OF US SEPARATELY. AND THERES SEVERAL OF EM THAT ARE IN OUR OWN CLASS SO ITS LIKE

THAT WAS LITERALLY THE REASON WHY NEITHER HIM OR I PROPERLY MADE A MOVE BC WE KNEW OUR FRIENDS OR ACQUAINTANCES LIKED THE OTHER PERSON AND WE DIDNT WANNA IMPOSE BUT NOW I THINK WE'VE BOTH DISREGARDED THAT ENTIRELY LIKE

we both dont care abt what others have to say anymore we just wanna be togetehfbwjbrje2nr

BUT WE HAVE HORRIBLE TIMING TOO BC JUST TODAY THERE WAS A SCHOOL ANNOUNCEMENT ABT BEING STRICTLY AGAINST PDA WHICH MEANT. NO HOLDING HANDS AND NO KISSING AND LIKE. DAMN. DAMNIT. IM LITERALLY LIKE VERY AFFECTIONATE WITH MY FRIENDS

its to the point where ppl often mistake me for a lesbian or bi or Something bc im very close and hug my friends often and hold their hands n all and been told SEVERAL TIMES THAT I LOOKED LIKE MY FRIENDS' BOYFRIEND LOL

SO ANYWAYS. THE ANNOUCEMENT SAID THAT, "TRUE LOVE WAITS" AND I LITERALLY WJWKABSU when that was announced in class i had Such an obvious WHAT reaction and kept joking abt it for the rest of the day whenever i hung out with my friends and when i first read it in amusement and Lowkey like. Disappointment? He was there watching my expression and his friends teased him abt it too

ajgsjqhajsj i would talk abt all the similarities we have with each other and how he planned somethin that we've both been rlly lookin forward to but i havwnt eaten dinner yet bc when i went home i just fell asleep IMMEDIATELY and im hungry LOL

anyway i hope he asks me out tomorrow otherwise ill just be the one who'll do it directly on friday even if its while everyone else is in class bc i absolutely REFUSE to end this week without any weekend plans or confirmed date i absolute refuse and both of us have been anxiously lookin forward to one, and both of us have been incredibly restless about it for like several weeks so it HAS to happen, like both of our respective friend groups and the ones we share have literally been tryin SO hard to give us several opportunities to show off the other person and like get the other to confess OR LIKE FOR US TO PROPERLY TALK SO AHDMAHRPQHEPQHROQBRKQK

[yellowloid]

Terra incognita is suuuuuuch an amazing story!! I've read it so many times!! 😍🙏😍🙏

- What inspired you to write it?

- What was your thinking process in terms of the way their relationship evolved?

- Was there anything else you had thought of doing but ended up scrapping?

- What was the process like in chosing thunderstorms as his phobia?

- What happens next? 😘

Thank youuuu you're an amazing writer!

aaaah can't believe you've even reread it multiple times, thank you so much!!

(possible spoilers ahead in case anyone reading this hasn't read the fic in question)

- first of all, the inspiration behind it... i started writing it late august/early september. i'd spent all summer working on another wip, a vampire fic that ended up not convincing me at all; so i just dropped it, and i could've started working on some other ideas i still have in mind (which will, eventually, get written) but instead i got hit with this random vision of alex being afraid of thunderstorms and miles comforting him, which then of course turned nsfw because why not? it was a rainy day and i just had to look out the window to have the revelation lmao + i'm a sucker for hurt/comfort, i'd say it's probably my favourite trope ever, so i immediately got really into the idea.

- i really liked the idea of alex being like 'well my heart does strange things whenever i'm around miles and i definitely check him out and smile like an idiot at his texts!! that is bizarre😳 what could it be??🤔' and other oblivious bullshit. i'd say he knew, subconsciously, what it was, but he'd brush it off thinking it was just A Moment TM or being afraid that it'd damage their friendship if miles knew. speaking of miles, i wanted him to be his usual protective and casually flirty self when it came to alex.

add the thunderstorm to give them a push in the right direction, and miles' protectiveness + their casual intimacy would finally make alex realise that no, it wasn't just a momentary feeling, and that it was reciprocated, so why not go for it? miles was a bit reluctant at the end bc he was afraid he'd have his heart broken, but for once i wanted alex to be the one who pushed for them to give it a try (and of course bc i needed to toss some more hurt/comfort in there lol)

- i'm really not sure if i understood what you mean with this question, so sorry if it's not what you meant! if you mean other wips i was working on before focusing on this fic, then definitely that vampire fic i mentioned earlier; if you meant other possible developments for this fic instead of the one i ended up going for, then i'd say not really, no. in my head i had a clear idea of what i wanted to happen, so i just needed to get it on paper!

- idk if it counts more as an influence in my choice for his phobia or as inspiration, but the idea actually reminded me of a girl i knew in middle school - which was a very long time ago, so i don't really remember the details, but basically she was really scared of thunderstorms, to the point that she would start crying, shaking and overall panicking whenever she heard loud thunder. some people in our class made fun of her for it, and even though we weren't friends i felt a bit sorry for her. when i was a kid i used to have the same fear, so yeah, that probably also influenced me.

- it's a bit of an open ending, isn't it? obviously everyone can imagine whatever they want to happen next, but i'd say there will definitely be a lot of talking, since they'll need to make things clear between them to avoid misunderstandings. sharing something like ~that~ with your best friend isn't something that happens every day, especially if it means you both find out it goes much deeper than that, and the pining you thought was unrequited turns out to be very much reciprocated instead. here we've seen alex's pov, but miles has been wanting him for who knows how long! my man was so shocked alex wanted him too that he almost couldn't believe it, poor guy

basically these oblivious idiots need to learn how to communicate, but i'm sure they'll get there sooner rather than later. just like with his phobia, something he's hidden for a really long time, i think this experience will help alex to be a bit more open about his feelings. of course miles will be there for him no matter what, which will undoubtedly make it a bit easier :')💞

thank you so much for your questions and for your appreciation of this fic, it really means a lot!! ❤

[fairy25]

TW!!! I mention S.A.

I am a young woman with no friends. The point being I have no friends to talk to my romantic relationship about. I've never had good friendships and don't seek them out anymore bc I get ghosted lol so please give me advice.

Anyways. My (23F) partner (27M) is the only person in my life whom I love and agree with on most things. We started dating when I was 17 and he was 21. I knew then that our relationship age gap was risky but I pursued him and I'm far more intelligent.

The year prior to us dating (when I was 16) I had been psychologically abused and analy raped by a man who was 20.

He had groomed me for years. Prior to that I  dated a boy in middle school who sexually abused me for years.

Needles to say I have a big issue with sex. My libido goes up and down. Sometimes I don't want to have sex for weeks and other times I want it daily or multiple times a day. My partner has a high sex drive and he makes me feel guilty when I go through my sexual droughts. He will ask me multiple times and I'll say "maybe" or "later" or "just a quickie cause I'm not horny" and he still wants to. He knows I am not good at saying no because of my past. He also asks to jerk off on me when I say no if it's been a couple days. I love him so much and I feel guilty for not being so intimate with him sometimes but it's hard for me.

We live with my parents. We have since I was 19 (so 4 years now.) And we are desperately trying to move out. I want to start a life with him, a real adult life. But I'm 23 and he is 27 and we still live here. I ask him to clean something or throw something away and he doesnt do it. I've begged him to keep his car clean and its filled with trash. I beg him to pick up his clothes or throw away trash and he doesnt. And it just scares me because we are planning to have children when we get married. I dont want to ask him to do something and he doesnt do it. Its frustrating and I repeat myself every day. I also miscarried 3 months ago.

The only time we have ever fought is a year ago when I found porn on his phone. He was searching specific things like "tiny girl" , "red head girl", "18 year old porn", and "creampie"... when we first started dating I told him I didnt like porn and he stopped watching it. But then he started back early last year. It made me really insecure because I'm a plus size woman with brown hair. I've gained 50 pounds since we've been together. My self esteem may never recover after he looked up those things. He says he loves my body but his actions contradicted. He stopped and I know he did because we have watched a lot of things about the dark side of the porn industry. He also had an issue with porn because he was raped by another boy multiple times when he was 12 and it made him hypersexual. But it still hurts me.

On top of all of this he puts his finger in my ass sometimes without asking and I'm uncomfortable with that because I was anally raped. I told him last time to ask before he does that and he cried because he felt bad for not asking before.

I love this man with all my heart. He is my best friend, my family, my other half. I built my life focused on our future. But I have so much pain in me and nobody to talk to about it. I want to fix things. He is literally a part of me. This post is just all the bad stuff. And it's not even bad. But I need advice. And I wasn't groomed so please don't get that intention.

Why do you love him with all your heart? He sounds like he sucks. Men who disrespect your sexual boundaries or pressure you into having sex you don’t want aren’t men you should be indulging. The other stuff really isn’t that important. If you do choose to be with this man, whatever, but idk what you think a feminist on the internet it going to be able to help with when you clearly already know that he sucks. Like the moment you’re typing up paragraph upon paragraph trying to understand a man’s behavior…. Oh boy

[bluegrowlmon]

idr if you've talked abt this b4 cuz its been months since we've talked smt1 but... thots on an au where all the heroes knew eachother b4 the apocalypse?

this got rambly and im not sure if i wrote what you wanted but here this is

To start I’m already half convinced they knew each other pre-game, if only bc of their proximity. Kazuya and Takeshi lived in the same neighborhood I think? Im pretty sure. And Yuji was dating the girl living next to Kazuya so they probably crossed paths at least once, and isn’t impossible that takeshi crossed paths with yuji at least once. SO they’ve seen each other, and from there it might not be a stretch to say they know of each other, at least vaguely.

I don’t think it would take too much for them to know each other. Kazuya and takeshi have a lot of similarities, from geographic proximity, both living on social margins (takeshi bullied, kazuya ignored) and both with semi-similar home lives (both have single parents, no siblings (that I know of)). It would take a lot of effort on both their parts, mostly takeshi deciding to not see an offer of friendship as condescension or pity, so maybe he’d have to initiate. But they could be friends, if only in that ‘we have no one else to be with and I mostly tolerate you’ kind of way some schools friendships are formed.

Yuji I have a harder time seeing with them both on the basis of familiarity, just bc what little we know about him doesn’t seem to intersect with their own pasts much. He has both parents seems pretty well off and is into music possibly because his parents are. But there have been friendships based on less, and he seems amicable enough in game, working with Kazuya to escape the hospital and jumping in to help Takeshi with Ozawa. I don’t imagine itd take too much more than a conversation or two with Kazuya while he’s out walking Pascal for them to start forming a connection.

And hey I can just make this even more ficcy and just imagine that Yuji has a seemingly cushy life but is being pushed into things out of expectation rather than because he wants it, or maybe his relationship with his parents actually has some serious rough patches, idk. Maybe with his dad, since every other party member has dad issues.

(Yuji and Takeshi mostly tolerate each other via both being friends with Kazuya, and when hanging out with him can stay civil, and later on even friendly. They don’t really hang out with just the two of them though because then it descends into fighting real quick).

(No Yuka here unfortunately bc I don’t think its ever mentioned what Yuka did before heading the resistance faction, besides, being psychic, somewhere.)

I also like to imagine this increasingly intricate scenario as being a semi-long standing thing rather than something formed a year or two pre-game, so maybe they first got to know each other in like mid middle school. So they have middle school until the summer after high school (I imagine them as 18-ish to make the game also a metaphor for entering adulthood and the lack of guidance and choices that that brings) to get to know each other, hanging out after school or at arcades or studying together or whatever it was Japanese teenage boys did in 199X.

And bc Im a sap I like to think that the time together ifluences them, at least a little bit. Takeshi gets a bit less angry, because he has people to talk to and who look out for him and he doesn’t feel so alone. Kazuya leans to be more assertive, both from encouragement and from having to step up several times and make sure their group stays cohesive. Yuji learns to, idk, tolerate people with different viewpoints? There are very obvious rough patches, especially as they get older, but the friendship is a positive force in their lives overall.

SO finally the game happens. Pre time skip, most everything goes the same. Demons still happen, Kazuya’s mom still dies, Yuka still shows up, bombs still fall. The differences are small; Kazuya has his friends and not strangers to comfort him after she dies, so maybe he bounces back from that a bit better. The group isn’t as quick to go their separate ways, if they ever do, and maybe all of them try to find and rescue Yuji’s girlfriend (and im not sure how this would affect Kazuya’s relationship with Yuka? Ok maybe he splits off to help her but Takeshi sticks with Yuji when he goes off to find his girlfriend, which would be a pretty big moment of character growth for him)

Bombs still fall, they still get kicked to the Diamond Realm (I almost said velvet room what), and they all get dropped 30 years into the future.

SO the thing im torn about most here is whether their preexisting bonds would change their groups very-bad-end

On the one hand, I like to think that their bonds would change a few things. They’d still go their separate ways, bc Takeshi, for all that their friendship shores up his confidence and self esteem, is still insecure when it comes to Ozawa and wouldn’t pass up a chance to gain the upper hand and fuse with a demon to kill him. He might still leave bc he sympathizes with the gaean faction more than the others and still believes that being able to stand alone is true strength. Yuji would still die and get reincarnated bc, he’d still die protecting Kazuya bc he’s a good friend like that.

So that all happens. But maybe the friendship is the key difference that prevents things from descending into a bloodbath at the Cathedral. Takeshi still doesn’t want to rejoin Kazuya (assuming he’s going canon neutral route), but he remembers their days together, how Kazuya helped him when he felt completely alone in the world, and can’t bring himself to hurt or kill him, at least not then (or their past makes him even more insecure bc he thinks Kazuya thought he was weak but this is the happy scenario so we aren’t going there)

Yuji I’m not sure, since its implied (I think anyway) that he came back altered, so there might not be anything that could be done in the past to make sure he stayed someone they could reason with? But this is best end so maybe their past together is just strong enough to sway him from Messian control.

So there isn’t a death fight in the Cathedral maybe, but they’d still believe very strongly in their own factions, and probably just push the conflict farther down the road. In a way I feel its inevitable, and when the clashes finally happen they’ll be all the more painful for everything they’ve shared.