#i think of applying the bisexual label to myself & the prospect of sex with men becomes very uninteresting. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

afternoonblushes · 4 years

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(Pt1)wow thank u so so much for ur in depth response I rly appreciate it!! I thought I was straight for most of my life until I met a girl who I had a major crush on and realized I was bi, (I mean I was also lying to myself about sexual attraction to women all my life but bc I never had romantic feelings for women it was easier to deny... until that happened) and even then I didnt question my attraction to men until I learnt about comphet and then like, got really anxious that i was lying to

myself about my attraction to men? I think my biggest issue is that i grew up with a biphobic mother, who had made comments all her life that bi ppl were selfish and/or confused... she seemed to have no problem with gay ppl but she seemed to think bi ppl were morally corrupt and sex obsessed... so even tho I dont consciously believe that it's totally possible that could be ingrained in me which is why I'm constantly analyzing myself bc subconsciously I believe I have to be one or the other? Society also having that general outlook on bi ppl doesnt help too I guess lol.. so idk I cant tell if I'm actually bi and my anxiety is trying to force me into a box or if I'm dealing with comphet and ahhh :( also sorry this turned into 3 parts lsskdjd... I wrote it all out and then broke it into pieces but it was longer than I thought 😭

Don't apologise!! I love a fellow bitch with Things To Say! Once again take everything with a pinch of salt bc i am a clown and also don't know the nuance of your situation but here are my thoughts:

my sister is bi and tells me about how when she was a teen (back in the wild west of the 00's) she actually thought she was homophobic, bc it was offensive to imply a person could "choose" to be gay but she really felt she COULD choose to live a life with a man or a woman! So i completely understand and sympathise how 1) biphobia and 2) black and white thinking in general, can make it impossible to healthily process bisexuality/any kind of fluid sexuality.

I've heard other people say similar things to your mum (sorry you had to deal with that, it's A Lot).. the older generation learnt to be tolerant with sayings like 'nobody would choose this, i was born like this' bc of course no one would choose to be born gay in a violently homophobic society lol. And they can understand being gay as long as it remains 1) on the fringes of society 2) inferior 3) pitiable 4) straight relationships ARE a marriage, a family, a love story etc and gay people are just.. gay. Poor them!

And that kinda gets flipped entirely when bi people are open and honest because.. if being gay is so miserable and shit and they COULD be happy in straight relationships, why not? Because gay relationships are good and fun, you bastards! 😈😈😈

Also something to consider- if i remember right i believe comphet originally was meant to apply to every woman? We're basically forced to perform for men our whole lives, and until recently it was kinda impossible for most women to be financially stable without a husband. So basically we DO live in a society, and it's normal to find attraction to men complicated! But that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of men as individuals who you could be happy with ❤

(Also your mum's biphobia/raising you with that perspective might explain why you mentioned sex being an anxiety inducing prospect for you? Cuz like enjoying sex means proving that stereotype right? I shall take the freud hat off now but something to consider! Princess Cyd is a cute film all about sex positivity and fluid sexuality, you may enjoy it?)

The tone of these messages does imply to me that bisexual is currently your best fitting label? Just bc that's the word you repeat and it's weird how we do that! I would call myself gay, not straight, or nothing at all! Once, memorably, biromantic homosexual (yes men you may buy me dinner and take a romantic stroll on the beach.. but NO COOCHIE 😠😤😤)

However that doesn't mean you're not a lesbian ofc, i'm just trying to hear what you're saying! If you do feel the lesbian label fits better at some point, that's wonderful! Also- being bi doesn't mean you NEED to date men and women. Labels can be scary bc it feels like a dictation for your life, but they're tools to help you describe your experiences and feelings. So if you prefer women at this point, there would be nothing wrong with focusing on women? And then if you're like 😔👀 oh men? Vice versa is totally valid too. It's a myth that bi people are all 50/50 and their partners go man-woman-man-woman lol, there is literally every type of bisexual, and your preferences will be well at home there!

(Actually i've always really admired this about the bi community! Lesbians AND straight women would kinda side eye me and be like well you don't look/seem gay.. whereas bi people are always like yah checks out. Idk very sexy and cool of them)

Anyway this was longgg again so i do hope you found some bits helpful! Feel free to send any follow ups 💕💕 the world is full of endless possibilities for relationships and you will find what works for you when you're ready for it!

#im on mobile so can't add a read more!!#apologises #long post #acc no.. no apologies.. i said what i said

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unfamiliarties-a · 6 years

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canon divergencies in characters.

i'll try and keep these as short as i can, but basically if you want to know where any timelines or portrayals differ from general canon then here's a master list for everyone. i'll update this for any muses i add or remove from here. any additional questions then just drop me a line. there will be spoilers for various fandoms. if any muses i have don't appear on this list then either there's no canon divergency to consider or i'm still in the process of deciding these things, again, feel free to just ask about it.

general.

tracy mcconnell. this one is kind of obvious but basically my tracy did not die at the end of the series and by extention ted did not wind up with robin after this, regardless of how much time had passed. ted and tracy both ended up together, had two beautiful kids penny and luke, and tracy was there for her daughter's wedding.

luke skywalker. i'm fine with everything that happened in the last jedi. i know a lot of other people weren't, but i'm cool with it. i didn't want luke to die particularly, but i'm okay with the fact that he did. i'm happy to write things with luke as a force ghost or luke if he had survived the finale fight.

elena gilbert. this is less a divergence of elena herself but more the general direction of the show that i didn't really enjoy. so with that everything after season three is considered to be divergent from the show. my particular peeves were plec's lack of care about elena's career goals from this point (aka the doctor thing) and her absence from the show after season six (aka why would you get rid of the main character of your show you dumb fucks). i'm fine with elena waking up as a vampire at the end of season three and the reveal of her and damon meeting before she met stefan.

loki laufeyson. no real canon divergency here. loki's death was heartbreaking and i definitely didn't want it to happen but i'm okay that it did and how well it was done. i will say here though that i do believe that loki was under some partial influence from the scepter during the attack on new york, but i'm not condoning anything either. that's just my five cents on the matter.

jess mariano. ooh, boy okay. so .. the kyle's bedroom thing. i wanna make it clear that jess, or my jess, or just how i saw things personally, was not going to rape rory. yes he was pushy and his behaviour that night was all around shitty and i do not excuse it for a moment, but he never would have gone all the way forcing her. and the first thing he did after the fight was apologise to her when he saw her next. that's just the tea for me. everything with a year in the life was cool with me i just wish there had been more scenes of him haha.

tony stark. the 'zuccini' comment just did not happen. k. thanks. bye.

natasha romanoff. i have my own bio for nat which you can read here. it's really the best guide for what i consider to be natasha's story, which is basically my own accumulation of natasha's appearances and history in the films and comics, so it would be nice also if no one stole what i wrote. also just a smol thing that the natasha and bruce trash romance did not happen here.

extended.

damon salvatore. similar to above that i have little to complain about with damon himself but with what way the show went after season three. i do think that damon's motivations and relationships with particular characters weren't put across properly to the audience, so i'll be here to clear up those instances. i'm okay with the damon and caroline thing, i don't ship them or i don't agree with what he did but i won't label it as rape. i'm not a survivor myself so i'm not telling anyone how to feel about it, to me i just think that caroline did want to sleep with him in the beginning but not after he attacked her and they didn't sleep together after that fact. the compulsion applied to damon getting her to help with with things in the town and feeding on her, but i don't think he compelled her for sex, so i treat it in that context. however i won't be explicitly writing this side of their relationship and my damon did apologize to her. i'm happy to keep the enzo and damon backstory but not them running off to kill people etc. the sibyl stuff however did not happen, nor the stuff with lily etc.

peter parker. i've seen a lot of the discussions about peter being transgender, i'm not against it in anyway, i actually think its kind of neat. i'm lgbt myself so its awesome to see some representation like that and i fully support all the trans peter's out there. personally for me however, i see peter as still figuring things out in all aspects of his life, including who he is as himself and being a friendly neighbourhood spiderman. so i'm not against exploring a trans peter in the near future, or atleast figuring that out, but for now i just think peter is too all over the place to put a label on himself either way, so he won't refer to himself as trans or otherwise, or who he's interested in sexually or romantically. it's all just one big figuring things out schtick, so be patient with him.

rory gilmore. okay so i liked the reunion series aka a year in the life but i didn't personally think that rory's arc was the best so i'm going to negate it entirely and do my own thing with it, whatever that will be. my biggest peeves really was her attitude to certain job prospects and her falling back into a crappy relationship with logan - which i never really cared for in the original series anyway. i can acknowledge that rory and logan were a thing back then, it actually lends to rory's conclusion at the end of that season but i won't write shippy things for them going forward, and i'm not even that keen in writing past shippy stuff for them. i'm a hardcore rory and jess shipper, so while she didn't wait around for him either, i'm totally down for them getting together.

sam winchester. the whole becky rosen debacle did not happen. this includes them meeting, the love potion and the mess that was their 'marriage’. it just did not happen. becky rosen does not exist here. sam did not kill emma. if dean were to have a daughter then sam would not just kill her, monster or not, he would try to help first and probably to a fault, like he did with jack. there was never a romantic attachment with ruby. they were work partners of circumstance, they both used each other and slept together and ruby did manipulate him. sam has all his memories of the cage, due to the immense torture he went under during that time, a good portion of his 'memory’ is down to sensation, sight, sound, feeling, ect. from this its hard for him to say whether or not he was sexually abused / raped by lucifer in the cage. he was most definitely tortured and he retains the feelings of being violated in every way imaginable, but he doesn’t have a solid picture in his head of what exactly happened or atleast the whole of what happened.

dean winchester. though the show isn’t explicit with dean’s sexuality, my dean is considered to be a closeted bisexual. he has an interest in men and at times doesn’t hide it well and is very in denial about it. he’s never gotten a chance to even experiment it or entertain the idea due to the kind of life he lives, i.e. being a hunter. he will be very concerned about getting into a relationship or even a romantic entanglement with another guy, but it’s not to say its something he doesn’t want with the right person. dean was a demon for a lot longer than the show portrayed, we’re talking months and not weeks. dean loved being a demon, not looking back on it now, it makes him feel unclean whenever he thinks about it, but as a demon dean was as dangerous as they come and it took several botched attempts to bring him down by sam and castiel before they were eventually able to catch him.

john winchester. sam and dean were never beaten by john or harmed physically by him, who never would have raised a hand to his kids over anything. he wasn’t a perfect dad, he was a man grieving his wife and he made mistakes, he made his boys grow up too soon bc he couldn’t stand the idea of them not being ready someone or something tried to hurt them. no john winchester hate will be accepted here. john did tell dean to kill sam if he went evil. not because he didn’t believe in sam or hated him for anything. they had both made their peace with each other before john died. john just didn’t want his son to be corrupted or become something he wasn’t, he didn’t want azazael’s plan for sam to ever come to fruition. he wanted sam safe and himself always.

mary winchester. sleeping with ketch did not happen. bc good god, no. she was grieving her husband, john was the one. she would not jump into bed with a shit like ketch. that is all. mary did abandon the boys for the british men of letters. she was dealing with coming back to life, being a mother to two grown boys, grieving a dead husband and now living in a time and place completely different to her own time. she was adjusting to her new situation and granted she did not deal with that very well. i won’t make excuses for her in that respect but she didn’t do it out of spite or dislike for her sons.

#｡･ﾟﾟ･　muses information.

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