#i think this is the first time i've tagged with both gpose and fanfic. oh dear.

[elliewiltarwyn]

a careful understanding

i have a big WIP about Ellie and Ryne's relationship that is still coming together, but this moment is so clear in my mind @.@; this isn't a perfect resolution of their issues with each other but it's some kind of promise to try and be better.

but the WIP extends long both in front of and beyond this shot lmao 🙃

I've pasted some sections from the scene's rough draft below the cut, about 570~ words in total; they're a little scattershot and skip over bits in between because the scene is really long @.@; but i hope it provides decent enough context.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’ve seen the way both of you look at me — and I don’t even blame you. I’m not her, but I bear her mantle. My presence only reminds you both of your loss. Of how the name of this woman you loved has been… perverted into this martyrlike symbol of hope for our realm, one that ensures the fate of Minfilia is to die over and over again.” She sniffs, deeply, and then: “How couldn’t you hate me?”

“Because you didn’t ask for this!” Ellie explodes. “I know this isn’t your fault!”

Minfilia doesn’t budge an ilm. “Do you?”

[...]

“I— you’re just some girl. An innocent girl who’s been swept up into all this — forced to bear a burden you never asked for. I know that. Thancred has to know that.” Her breath has become ragged, and she suddenly finds herself unable to look at Minfilia for entirely different reasons. “…I’ve… done a shite job actually convincing myself of that. So has he.”

A thick silence presses upon the two of them, broken only by quiet sniffs muffled by Minfilia’s knees. Ellie has never felt lower than she does in this moment.

“…This is on us. Thancred and I have been incredibly shitty to you.” She grits her teeth and feels tears brim in her own eyes. “...On some level, I do know that you’re the one most victimized by all of this. You don’t… deserve our treatment. I’m so sorry.”

[...]

“What if I’m not the Minfilia you need, either? Either you, or Thancred… or this realm. [...] After all, gruesome as it was… every preceding Minfilia died to protect the realm. What am I doing out here if it’s not that? Is there some way to help that doesn’t involve doing that… or am I just running away from that responsibility?”

Ellie’s eyes narrow. “Do you think that’s a goal to strive for? That it’s admirable?” [...] “It’s not; it’s tragedy. It’s unjust, monstrously cruel — to yourself and everyone around you. We’ll figure out something you can do — and I’ll be damned if it’s anything remotely in the same arena as sacrificing yourself.” Her voice cracks. “Enough Minfilias have done so. Including the very first one. I don’t want you to join them.”

[...]

“...Th-thank you, Elli—” Minfilia cuts herself off abruptly. “Elilgeim.”

Ellie blinks, then smirks in ironic amusement. Shocking, how long it’s been since she’s heard that. “My friends call me Ellie, Minfilia. It’s okay.”

Minfilia still looks hesitant, her eyes darting back and forth between the hand on her shoulder and Ellie’s face. But eventually she swallows, hoists a nervous smile onto her face, and says, “Okay—thank you, Ellie.”

“That’s more like it.” Ellie scoots a little closer and hesitates for a moment; she’s really unsure about how much she’s pushing here, but she wants to try. So she extends her arm to her side, holding it open and looking at the younger one somewhat expectantly.

And thank the Twelve, Minfilia takes the invitation and fiercely hugs Ellie’s side.

If Ellie had never felt lower than she had five minutes ago, she has in equal measure never felt more relieved now. She’s full aware this—Minfilia’s trust—is a precious gift, and she’s determined not to squander it. She’s starting from a disadvantaged position, given how awful she’s treated the young Oracle so far… she really needs to get her shite together. This Minfilia deserves better.

[sundered-souls]

LAST SONG: Tony Ann - Pulse

CURRENTLY WATCHING: Nothing actively. I started watching The OA some time ago but haven't gone back to it yet. Now if it's about "watching" in general, then I'm currently watching videos about lighting in art and photomanip. I've been doing it since yesterday, all because I initially wanted to figure out how to make a road look wet...

THREE SHIPS: Oh dear. It's been a while since I've really gotten invested in a ship. But let's say Napoléon/Ilya (The Man from U.N.C.L.E.), Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian (The Untamed) and uh... Karlach/Wyll (Baldur's Gate 3)

FAVORITE COLOR: Orange!

CURRENTLY CONSUMING: Not enough judging by how hungry I am lmao

FIRST SHIP: Honestly I have no idea. I think the first I read fanfics about was Torhu/Yuki or Torhu/Kyo in Fruit Basket.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Central France

CURRENT LOCATION: Switzerland, but this country is too small to give you more details x)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Partnered? I think it's the word at least x) I've been with the same person for over ten years.

LAST MOVIE: Nimona, when it was on Youtube! Good movie.

CURRENTLY WORKING ON: My website, my forum, the vanilla gpose challenge, not my homework but I should

Tagged by @under-the-blood-moonlight and @shroudkeeper (on my main). Thank you both! Tagging: @corsair-kovacs @thevikingwoman @paintedscales @archaiclumina @pumpkinmagekupo @briar-ffxiv @lilbittymonster @otherworldseekers and all of my followers, really! Don't be shy and tag me back so I get to know you better :3