#i think this was among my first drawings i made on my ipad so yeah there's that

[levbolton]

take this shitpost i made in 2020

[surveys4ever]

25.

Section 1 – Who were you?

Think back as far as you can. What is the first memory you have? I think meeting my (now) dad for the first time when he and my mom were dating. I was very upset because he was short and that’s not what dads were supposed to look like in my 3 year old eyes since my bio dad was super tall.

What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Playing Barbies, watching Barney, Happy Meals, being with my grandma.

How old were you, when you made your very first friend? Probably preschool.

Are you still friends with this person today? Facebook friends, yeah. Real friends, no.

Was there a story somebody read or told you that has stuck with you? No one ever read to me after I learned to read for myself so one day I was sick and I came home and curled up with my mom on the couch and asked her to read me a Little Mermaid book I had and she did, even though I had to get up to go shit myself halfway through and it meant a lot to me at the time.

What is something you get an immense feeling of nostalgia from? Hannah Montana for some reason. It was my favorite show and we didn’t get the Disney channel so whenever we went to a hotel, nobody could tell me fuckin NOTHING because we were watching Hannah Montana whether they liked it or not.

As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I was the only child for 8 years and then the oldest after that so I never lost at anything and now when I do, I feel like I'm the biggest piece of shit loser there’s ever been. So that’s fun.

Did you go through the "naked phase"? I learned that you didn’t have to sleep in pajamas and you could just sleep naked so I did it for a while but then realized that I much preferred pajamas.

Which television shows do you watch the most as a child? I loved TV so basically all of the 90′s/early 2000′s shows there were.

Did you play with siblings, neighbourhood kids or by yourself? Either with neighborhood/school kids or by myself. I didn’t ever really have siblings who weren’t my kids, if that makes sense.

Is there something you really miss from your childhood today? I miss back when everything was simple.

Section 2 – Likes and interests  

Would you ever like to try competitive pinball playing? Ummm, no.

Do you knit, crochet or cross stitch? I’m trying to teach myself to crochet.

Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? No thx.

What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? I really liked Among Us for a while there but I don’t really enjoy how rude everyone is on online games.

Do you like to go cycling? If so, where? Uh no.

Have you ever tried woodturning? If not, would you like to? Never tried it, don’t really have any desire to, but it can be relaxing to watch!

Do you enjoy drawing? If so, what do you usually draw? I do! I usually draw graphics for YouTube videos or doodle over Instagram photos, draw things to put on shirts with my Cricut, etc. I use my iPad for so many things.

Have you ever attended a painting class? If so, what did you create? I haven’t but I would like to!

How about a creative writing course? If so, did you get any feedback? I took Creative Writing literally every year it was offered in high school and I always got awards for having the top marks in the class.

What is your favourite form of exercise? No thank you.

Section 3 – People  

Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? My husband.

Do people generally approach you easily? I think so!

Do you get along with people well? If not, what's the problem? Yeah! I’m pretty friendly and easy going.

Do you enjoy being in crowds or do you prefer your own company? I would much prefer my own company than crowds.

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? I still talk to the girl I was best friends with in the 6th grade on occasion so like 17-18 years?

Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? As an adult who works from home, making friends is hard as fuck. 

What is something about people that annoys you? Something I've noticed in recent years is just how entitled and greedy everyone is. Everybody wants something from you or for your skills to benefit them without them putting in any work or paying you for your time. It’s just gross.

What is something about people that you really like? We have really, really harsh winters and if you ever find yourself in the ditch for whatever reason, there will be a lineup of cars stopped behind you to help you push it out or let you chill in their car while you wait for a tow truck. On the really bad blizzard days, there are groups of men in big trucks that literally L I V E to go around and help pull people’s cars out of the ditch. It’s the only time I feel like there’s actually a sense of community around here.

If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I honestly would never have a roommate because they could either be your friend or a stranger and living with friends is a good way to ruin a friendship if your living styles aren’t similar and living with a stranger just sounds like a nightmare.

How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? I am married but my criteria was honestly that I just wanted him to be kind and funny and I got that tenfold with my husband.

In general, what's your attitude towards people? I can’t stand to be around grumpy people. If all you do is gripe and complain about literally everything, I’m out. No thank you. Why is your hobby being angry? Take up knitting or something for christ’s sake.

Section 4 – Habits

What is something you do every day without fail? Baby talk the dog and snuggle with Beebs.

What is your typical breakfast? I’m a leftovers for breakfast kinda gal but lately I’ve been having a bagel and watermelon.

Which article of clothing do you like to wear the most? I loooove me a good baggy T-shirt and booty shorts.

Is there a TV show you watch habitually? We’re currently watching Unhhhh while we eat dinner every night, haha!

Where do you usually spend most of your day? I really only sit in 4 places--bed, the couch, my makeup/work desk, or my sewing desk. Depends on the day which one I’m at.

Is there a product that you do not want to run out of? Moisturizer. I’m a dry son of a bitch.

What is your preferred mode of transport? Car!

Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Nah. I’m in silence a lot of the time.

Where do you usually get your groceries? Walmart for the bulk of it, a local grocery store for the specialty items, and Target if we ever run out of something midweek because I cannot handle Walmart more than once a week.

How often do you go to your local park? Like once or twice a month in the summer!

Which of your hobbies do you indulge in most often? Sewing and Sims currently!

Section 5 – Favourites and dislikes

What is your favourite fruit? Watermelon!

How about your favourite berry? Strawberries are the only berry I like.

Which food do you highly dislike? Fish. It’s all disgusting.

What is your favourite song, and why? I hate this question. Who can pick one definitive favorite song out of the bajillions of songs that have been written??

What is a movie you cannot stand? Anything with Seth Rogen in it, any movie that's got a 3+ after it (looking @ you, Fast & Furious), and all the fuckin’ superhero movies that have the same ‘ah yes, this undefeatable bad guy that we have absolutely no chance against and will undoubtedly kill us all--but we’re going to pull through at the last second with the power of friendship!’ plot line.

Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? I don’t know how to describe it--certain people just have that spark and you can always tell right away if they’ve got it or not and those are my favorite kind of people.

Which trait puts you instantly off? If they’re religious it’s an instant no from me, dog.

Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? I really, really dislike Tom Holland. I honestly think he’s a terrible actor.

What colour are your favourite shoes? White!

What is a smell that disgusts you to no end? B.O., on me or others. I just can’t deal with it.

Which door handle/door knob do you like the most in your home? They’re all the same.

Section 6 – Culture

What is something very typical to the culture of your home country? Apple pie and baseball are the only things coming to mind atm.

Do you enjoy art? If so, which form of art is the most enjoyable? I do! But I prefer art that you can look at and know the artist is incredibly gifted and/or has put in a ton of time and effort to master their skills. None of that million dollar paint smear on a canvas shit.

What is something about another country's culture you don't understand? I feel like other cultures take their family and their family’s approval way too seriously. That might be rich coming from someone who doesn’t have a very good relationship with their family but I just don’t understand what the point of making yourself miserable to make your family happy is.

Do you ever attend the theater? If so, which play did you see last? Last thing I saw in a theater was Shangela perform a drag show, haha!

How about the opera or the ballet? Nope.

Which dance troupe do you enjoy, if any? ...they still do that?

Do you attend concerts or gigs? If so, which band did you see last? Not as much as I’d like to as no one good really comes here very often. Last band we saw was X Ambassadors and Paramore!

Are you interested in foreign food? I’m not uninterested but I’m not super interested either.

If so, which country's cuisine do you enjoy the most? Chinese...albiet probably a very Americanized version of Chinese.

Do you enjoy stand-up comedy? If so, who is your favourite comic? I doooo! Bo Burnham and Drew Lynch are my favorites.

Do you contribute to culture in some way? If so, how? I try to? I’m an influencer so I definitely have a platform of a couple hundred thousand people. Not sure what exactly I contribute tho.

Section 7 – Charity

Do you volunteer your time to anything charitable? If so, what? Newp.

Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? No. I don’t trust a lot of charities, to be quite honest. A lot of them are very shady and I’d rather donate money directly to someone who needed it rather than it getting tied up in a charity where it might never actually see the people they claim to be helping.

If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? We adopted our dog from one of my husband’s coworkers but she probably would have gone to the shelter if we didn’t take her.

Do you donate your old clothes, linen etc. to charitable organizations? Yes! We almost always have a bag of donations in our trunk that we always forget to take to the thrift store when we go.

If someone you know is in need, is it in your nature to offer help? If I can, yes!

Have you ever donated Christmas presents to children of poor families? We used to do that when I was a kid.

Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? One Christmas when I was really young I remember my parents signed up for a sponsorship through the Salvation Army where a family adopted us and bought us Christmas presents and Christmas dinner or whatever.

How do you feel about donating to charities endorsed by celebrities? I would never donate to a charity simply because it was sponsored by a celebrity but I guess its the easiest way for a charity to get the word out that they need donations.

Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will not trust? PETA, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and that breast cancer one with the horrible CEO.

Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. I extra wouldn’t if someone came knocking on my door asking for money.

In general, what is your opinion on charity? I already did my rant about them, haha.

Section 8 – Entertainment

Which was the very first video game you remember playing? Ocarina of Time I believe!

Which was the very first film you remember watching? That I don’t remember. Maybe that Barney movie with the magic egg?

What is your go-to form of entertainment? TikTok usually.

Do you have a large collection of DVDs/Blu-Rays? Nah. We have a drawer but we usually stream everything.

How about music albums? Beebs collects vinyls!

Do you prefer to have your music on vinyls, tapes, CDs or digital? I prefer digital and Beebs likes vinyl.

When and where do you like to entertain yourself usually? Either the bed or the couch.

Do you ever binge watch shows? If so, what are you binging now? Usually! I’m sadly in between shows rn.

What kinds of books do you like to read, if any? I honestly don’t read anymore.

Is there a book series you're currently collecting? ..

Is entertainment something you prefer to enjoy alone or with someone else? I have my shows and then we have shows we watch together. So there’s a time and place for both!

Section 9 – Internet 

Do you always have access to the Internet, wherever you go? If not, why? Yup!

Which website do you frequent the most? Website website? Google. App website? Instagram or TikTok.

Which search engine do you prefer and trust the most? Googs.

What do you use the Internet the most for? Social media or entertainment.

Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Random people? None of my business. But if we’re spending time together and I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you're not paying attention to me because your nose is glued to your phone, I’m gonna be pissed.

If your connection goes down, what do you do? Go do something that’s not on the internet?

Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? I still wish you could smell things through the internet.

Do you remember the first time you used the Internet? When was it? Yes! I believe the 2nd/3rd grade?

What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? I loved the Disney website with all the games.

Do/Did you ever have your own website? That was the thiiiing back in the day.

Isn't it great how much knowledge and info we have at our fingertips? It’s great but also overwhelming.

Section 10 – And finally...

What is something you consider to be highly controversial? Politics, apparently.

What kinds of jokes do you like the best? I love a good pun.

Is there a person who makes you laugh effortlessly? Oh definitely.

Which part of your body do you like the least? My eyes.

What's something random, out of context you remember from your past? I don’t do well with really vague questions.

Do you wear shoes indoors? No, I’m not a heathen.

What's the silliest thing you've worn on your body in public? I don’t think I usually wear silly things.

What's the most important thing in your life right now? Just spending time with my fam. Trying to get over this anxiety.

What is the most distant point on the planet that you've been from home? Florida.

Do you enjoy trivia games? If so, which one's your favourite? We love some Trivial Pursuit in this house!

Are you more logical or emotional? My emotions take over and then my logic brings it back in. Equal parts, baby.

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me (Chapter 17)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Ch6apter 10 , Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15 , Chapter 16

Warnings: Some explicit Content

 He Said

The wrap for the film in November left me high - it had been an amazing experience again for me but the joy at the film completing was made so much better by the knowledge that I would soon be back home, holding Sophia in my arms.

I got back to my apartment after the wrap party at around midnight, slightly inebriated and dialled her back in LA.  

“It’s done, I’m coming home” I declared.

“you seem happy” she said laughing at my slurred speech “are you drunk?”

“little bit I think, yup! You alone?”

“a ha – kids are at Julie’s today”

“ooooh goody, wanna play?”

 She Said

When Ke called me after the wrap party, he was clearly a little drunk, a bit goofy ……and horny. A few times whilst he’d been away, we’d masturbated together and I knew that was where this was going today. I moved into the bedroom and he started softly instructing me as to which garments to remove, what to show him and telling me everything he wanted to do to me when he got back.  He was the master of story telling and timing, holding off telling me to touch myself for as long as he could so that when the time came and he encouraged me ……….

“now  touch yourself, imagine my tongue….”

I was off like a firecracker, screaming his name which pushed him over the edge too, a loud grunt coming through the speaker of the iPad.

I propped the iPad up against his pillow on the bed and we stared at each other, smiling and I know I was blushing a little.

“Why do you always blush when we do that? We are allowed you know, you are my girlfriend right?”

I nodded, giggling a little.

“Yeah, it’s just that it’s 3.30 in the afternoon here - it feels very decadent to be touching myself while the kids are off doing their school day!”

“Where are they on Friday? I get in at around 7am?”

“Lucky you, it’s Miranda’s day. But you should get some sleep”

“I’ll sleep on the plane …………..and after I’ve taken you!”

“Promises, promises”

“Absolutely!”

He Said

“Told you!”

“Told me what?” Sophia breathed as she lay back on the pillow, her long brown hair fanning out around her and her chest still rosy pink with the flush of orgasm.

“Told you I’d take you first before sleep today” I murmured, sinking into the pillow and yawning.

“Poor old man’s sleepy”

“Hey, less of the old”

Sophia pulled up the covers and ran soothing hands over my shoulders”

“Get some rest baby and thank you”

“For what?”

“Coming back to me and keeping your promise”

I could feel myself drifting into dreams already “mmm no problem, I love you Sophia, I’m so glad to be home”

“Love you too Ke”

When I woke up it was early afternoon and Sophia had made a spread of some of my favourite things for lunch, chief among which was a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich! I feasted and we talked about our plans for the time we now had together.  There were still restrictions in California due to Covid so there were limitations on how much we could do but truth be told my main priority was investing time with this newly forming family, seeing some other family and friends and taking some bike rides.  There would be John Wick training in the new year but until then, my time was my own.

 She Said

Once Keanu was back and we’d got over the initial rush of excitement to be together again, we settled into something of a routine.

He’d stay over a couple of nights a week and at least once a week I’d spend the day with him at his house, often just enjoying a decadent day between the sheets.  A Wednesday would be similar for us to a Sunday for a couple who didn’t have kids in the house bouncing out of bed at 7am!

Whilst we did have a routine of sorts there were still adjustments to be made. One of these took me a little by surprise and was partly triggered by a routine letter from my doctor.

Keanu was there as I opened it.

“Everything OK?

“Oh, yeah sure, it’s just about my coil. It’s going to expire soon so I have to go in for a consult”

“Oh and are you just going to get another one or ….?”

“Or what ?”

I had known this decision was coming soon and it had got me questioning whether it was the end of the road for me and babies. Some friends around me were still having more kids and that was one factor in me questioning it. The last new baby had arrived only a couple of weeks ago  - it was Julie’s so we’d gone to visit, taking a gift.  I got to cuddle her little boy Matthew too since we were in the bubble together. I remembered Keanu’s indulgent expression as I’d declared

“Babies just rule don’t they? Every home should have one! – but then again they are soooo much work!”  

I was only joking around but it was true, I did love babies and I couldn’t say for sure that I was content with declaring an end to my child-bearing years by getting another coil fitted for 10 or more years. I know you can take them out early but the fact that it could just go in and stay in did make that particular choice feel quite final. On the other hand, it was safe and super convenient and meant no condoms which I had never liked and most men I knew didn’t either. I wondered what Keanu thought of my comment. He was so great with my 2 kids  - I didn’t know whether he regretted not having kids of his own – I mean I guess that was kind of inevitable given what he had lost but I didn’t know if it was something he wanted still.

“Or …… do you ever wonder about having more kids?”

“Gosh, I don’t know”

“No? You weren’t thinking about it when cuddling baby Matthew the other day?”

I blushed.

“Well, maybe it crossed my mind that this decision was coming up”

“and?”

I took a deep breath

“And I wasn’t sure I was completely ready to …….. to close the door” I admitted.

 He Said

I sat at my desk, a blank piece of paper in front of me. I was about to embark on a methodical analysis of my thoughts on having a kid with Sophia. After she’d said she wasn’t sure she was ready to close the door, she asked me what I wanted.  Gosh, that took the wind out of my sails even though I had been the one to lift the lid by asking her about her coil. To be honest, it was the way she had been with baby Matthew that had started me thinking before that and had re-awakened in me something I’d not felt since my 40s: The longing to have a child of my own.

I started jotting down thoughts  - pros and cons and trying somehow to think about how positive or negative they each were. It was no good weighing a negative like sleepless nights against a positive like giving my mother grandchildren and my sisters a niece or nephew.  I was still pouring over my page, filling it with thoughts and adding circles around key words and phrases when Sophia popped her head around the corner to say hi. She’d just arrived after dropping the kids at Miranda’s.

“Hey what’s this?”  she asked leaning over my shoulder and kissing my cheek.

“Well, it’s me attempting to be rational, practical, you know about what we talked about yesterday”

“Oh, I see” she responded as she started to scan the page.

“you’re not too old” she exclaimed, picking up on one of the negatives I’d written.

“You sure ?– I mean I could be nearly 80 when they’re 20 something – my mom was 40 when I was 20!”

“Yeah but I’ll be 50 when Eva is 20  - 20 was very young to have a kid by today’s standards. What are the numbers next to each thing?”

“A scoring system” I said blushing a bit.

“Oh my god, how scientific are we getting!?”

“Like I said” I defended, “I’m trying to be pragmatic, weigh things in the balance which is hard when you have things like this in the mix”

I pointed to the biggest word on the page which I’d started to draw around. It was ‘Love’ and it was certainly the thing that counted most in the balance. The love that a child could bring into my life and everyone else in our families was why seeing Sophia with Matthew that day had sparked all those feelings. It didn’t really matter that much that I might need to do fewer projects, that I’d have less freedom and time to myself for creative projects, that we’d be building a complex family melding with the existing one. I think the only thing on the page I could see that made me hesitate were the words “Loss” , “risk and “disappointment”. How on earth could we embark on this path and accept that maybe Sophia wouldn’t get pregnant, what steps would we take if that was the case or would we just agree that if it didn’t happen on its own then that was the end of it. Or maybe she would conceive and then we’d lose the baby like Ava  ……… That option almost equalled the love one in terms of being the opposite in negative points.

“Come on,  take a break, have some lunch with me and then talk me through it OK? Maybe I should do the same task huh? We’ll work it out” she soothed, squeezing my hand.

She Said

Keanu was quiet through lunch. I could tell that this topic was really taxing  his head and heart and I felt guilty that my contraceptive choices had brought this to the fore. He reassured me that in fact, it was seeing me with baby Matthew that had really started the thoughts spinning round his mind.

Whilst I teased him about his giant mind map of pros and cons with its elaborate points system,  it was really useful as a prompt to talk it through. It didn’t strip emotion out of it, after all, how could it with the word love and all its layers of meaning sitting at the centre of the page, but it meant we did consider everything as best we could.

It was the first time we’d talked in any detail about Ava and that experience of loss. He told me most of it, leaning back in the lounger by the pool, eyes closed, holding my hand, an occasional tear leaking out. The horror of giving birth to a silent, dead baby filled me with sorrow for him and Jen and, if I’m honest, some fear for myself. Fear of being the one to do that to him again, fear of embarking on something that held such potential danger. It had never felt that way as I had innocently embarked on my pregnancies with Eva and Miguel.

By the time I had to leave that afternoon, we had almost got to our conclusion, but agreed to sleep on it for a few days. Ironically, he called this technique “incubation”! He said you didn’t actually have to actively think about it but letting it just sit in the back of your mind meant that you would process it and come to a conclusion that you were comfortable with.

 He Said

I wanted to pinch myself when I thought back to last Christmas Eve. The two years could not be more different. This evening, at nearly midnight, I found myself hovering outside Miguel’s bedroom door, checking for the steady sounds of him sleeping before sneaking in with his stocking containing a few presents for when he woke up.  Sophia was doing the same outside Eva’s door. As I crept up to his bed, looking at his angelic little face, almost black hair sticking out of the covers just a bit, I felt centred and certain about our decisions last month.

He and Eva were my family too now, not officially in law, but in practice they spent more time with me than with their Dad these days.  They were comfortable with me, even as an occasional disciplinarian not just a playmate. And that was enough for me and Sophia - if we added to the brood with a child of our own, then great; We weren’t making any efforts to stop a pregnancy  and we were both taking care of our health but we would not have any fertility interventions and would stop if  nothing had happened after a couple of years since Sophia was nearly 40.  We had both agreed that we didn’t want to push our luck too far with a risky pregnancy.

 She Said

My main memory of our first Christmas together was Keanu’s goofy grin that seemed to be permanently plastered on his face for the whole holidays.  It was there for all the special meals we shared, there when we all opened our gifts from him (purchased without PA help!) and there when he closed the bedroom door and came to make love to me each night, stifling the sounds of our passion from the kids with his kisses.

We were in a cocoon of love and tenderness - I knew work was on the horizon for him and that would change our rhythm again soon enough but for now, we could bask in each other’s love, enjoy the children together and carry a little spark of hope that I might be able to fall pregnant with his child before long.

Once the holidays were over, Keanu was back to developing John Wick 4 and starting a new programme of training.  We would have to endure some separation again once shooting started in April in New York but we were all decamping at the start to his apartment there since it would be the holidays then. We even had plans to decorate a bedroom each for the children so they would feel at home when we visited. I wanted them to feel safe and secure. It turned out that this was the one thing I couldn’t guarantee for them, now their mother was publicly dating a movie-star.

@fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles   

[papergirllife]

The Story Of You And I.

Lee Taeyong ( One Shot- Part 1 )

Warnings : Angst, smut, slow burn.

You and Taeyong went way back. Since the both of you were 7 at the 2002 Seoul Fashion week for your mom's up and coming fashion label.

When you met him, he was working as a child model for your mom's brand.

" Hi I'm Y/N. What's your name?"

" I'm Taeyong. Who are you? "

"I'm Ms Kim's daughter. Your one of the models for this show aren't you? "

" Y-Yeah."

" Let's be friends from now on. "

"Okay."

You didn't know why you picked him out of all the boys there to make friends. Maybe it was because of his big googly eyes or his cute bouncy self waiting in line to be dressed.

The both of you became close friends. Always chatting at the backstage of every show. He even signed a contract to stay on with your mom's brand.

As you got to know him longer, you knew more about him. He was a rich family's son, he's mom was once a famous model back in the 70s' and married a wealthy business man. Their family owns Lee Insurance Inc. and even a law firm.

As he got older, his father wanted him to learn up the ropes of the business world, at the age of 12.

He never liked the corporate world, too shady he always said. Thankfully he has a sister who enjoyed business. So the responsibility didn't weight on him anymore.

As Taeyong and you grew, the both of you started developing into teenagers. His eyes were still big, but held a sense of mystery. His jawline sharper. Shoulders broader.

You hadn't changed much, not as much as he did. You started cutting down from snacking as you fall into the phase of wanting to keep yourself fit. You started a gym membership and enrolling dance classes.

You still remember staring at yourself in the mirror at age 15, admiring the curves you developed from your hard work.

Taeyong wasn't blind. He saw the way you changed. No longer that cute little girl who said hi to him at his first catwalk.

One day at the age of 16 the both of you were trapped in one of your mom's studio due to heavy snow fall as you were helping Taeyong with his measurements.

You got bored, so you started sketching some designs on your notebook after your mom taught you how to.

" Do you always bring along your sketch book and pencils wherever you go?"

" Yeah. So that whenever I'm inspired I'll always be able to draw at once. It's really important to me. "

" Thats so artistic and cool."

" Thank you. "

You could feel the blush creeping up your cheeks. You have never been complimented much in your life. Being a famous designer's daughter means you rarely have sincere friends. Taeyong was the closest to you among all.

You looked up from the sketch book to see Taeyong's face only millimeters away from yours. His eyes focused on your lips. With a pounding heart, you closed the gap between the two of you.

Everything was well for a year. Both of you were the sweethearts of the weekly tabloids. The power couple netizens would call the both of you. Until everything fell apart.

At one of your girl friend's new year's party bash. You were supposed to go there with Taeyong, but you suddenly had a headache from the amount of work from school and work. So Taeyong texted you that he wouldn't go as you weren't going to be there.

You were going to fall asleep until your friend Yeri called you.

" Y/N, Y/N. Open your messages right now. You won't like it, but it's the truth and I didn't want to hide it from you. "

" Um. Okay? Hang on a sec. "

When you opened Yeri's chat, there were two blurry photos, you clicked into them and your heart dropped.

It was Taeyong and some random girl making out. You exited your chat with Yeri and opened Taeyong's.

' I'm breaking up with you. '

You hit send and proceeded to block his number and all the other forms of social media accounts.

A few weeks later, the tabloids caught wind of the break up and even caught a photo of Taeyong and some girl kissing at Starbucks.

Taeyong and Y/N, Lovebirds No More? Who's Taeyong's New Mystery Girl?

Y/N's nasty heartbreak, Taeyong's Break For Freedom.

The Similarities Between Y/N and Taeyong's New Darling, Rosé.

Throughout this break up, only Yeri was there, helping me move on from my first love and heartbreak. Passing me tissues and eating tubs of ice cream together.

2019.

" Ms Bae, Ms Bae! "

" Yes? "

"We're short of one of our main male models, he suddenly called and said that his aunt was in critical condition at Jeju. So he flown out of the city and won't be participating in all of our shows. "

" Hurry find a replacement. Any decent model will be fine for today until we find another permanent. "

" Yes, Ms Bae."

You can't screw this up. This is the first time your mom gave you full reins of the company. You had to ace this one way or another.

You were adjusting a model's clothing when you heard a voice that made you drop the pins in your hand.

" Y/N, long time no see. "

You still remember his voice, even though it got deeper as he matured.

" Taeyong. "

You greeted him in a hardened tone.

" Cut the crap. What are you doing

here? "

" Ms Bae, Ms Bae. He was the only decent model available at such a short period of time. "

Your assistant didn't dare looked up to your face, fearing that you might fire her on the spot.

" Get him dressed Nancy. "

" Yes, Ms Bae. "

You looked at Taeyong like he was trash, well technically he is to you but not literally. And you really needed a replacement model.

" Y/N, don't you remember all the happy memories we shared? "

You ignored him and started picking out his runway attire.

" Mr Lee, what is the size of your waist? "

Your assistant asked.

" Ask Y/N. She knows. "

" I don't keep trash in my head. Tell her yourself. "

Taeyong sighed. You sneaked a glance at him. He still does that making his lips straight frown whenever he's frustrated.

It's time you forgot about him Y/N, you told yourself.

" Size 31. "

He took the pants from your assistant to change behind the veil.

" Are you okay Ms Bae?"

Nancy whispered.

"It's been 4 years plus now Nancy. I'm fine. " Or that's what you keep telling yourself.

Nancy seemed a little bit relieved at what you said event though she wasn't entirely sure you were speaking the truth.Suddenly someone called.

"Nancy, Nancy! We need your help with one of the model's measurements. "

You took Taeyong's clothes from her hands and beckoned her to go. She left with a little bit of uncertainty on her face, but didn't dare to question her boss.

Taeyong finally stepped out from the veil, looking smart in the pants you designed.

" Here. Change into the button up first, then the sweater, finally the coat. "

You passed every article of clothing to Taeyong but he didn't take it.

" Dress me. "

" Stop playing games Taeyong. Time is ticking. "

" What sort of games? You did this all the time back when we were kids. "

" I'm not your friend or anything anymore, so get dressed on your own. "

Instead of listening to you, Taeyong plopped down the stool, mindlessly looking at his fingers.

After a minute of no sign of movement from him you took matters into your own hands.

You began to unbutton his shirt rapidly and put on the shirt for him, buttoning the buttons.

Taeyong had a surprise look on his face, he didn't think you'd actually do it.

When you undressed him, you saw the changes on his body. He was much more built than he was last time. Small knobs and cervices at his once soft stomach. You were careful to not touch him.

After you finished adjusting the dress shirt, you forced the sweater over his head, fingers accidentally knocking onto some part of his face.

" Ouch! You used to be more gentle when you dressed me backstage your mom's shows. "

" Let the past stay the past. " You said as you dumped the coat on his face.

" Do that on your own, or get a fling to do it for you. "

You scanned him top to toe to see if anything was wrong. Until you spot his Nike sneakers.

You weren't going to be Prince Charming for him. So you called Nancy and told her to switch tasks with you with a pair of size 9 from your latest collection.

The show was starting soon, you double checked the attendance and the paper and magazine companies.

You could feel a headache forming thinking of the gossip columns eating on the drama that's going to happen tonight.

Ex Lovers Reunited?

What's Happening Between Taeyong and Y/N? Taeyong casted in Y/N's First Full Fledge Collection.

Just mother freaking great.

Everything went smoothly during the beginning, no mismatched clothes, no ruckus outside the venue.

You took a peak from behind the curtains. The columnist and VIP customers seemed to be enjoying it.

" Ms Bae, Ms Bae. "

Nancy called you interrupting your thoughts.

" Yes? "

" Right after Taeyong's wrap up for the runway, it's supposedly your turn to greet and thank the guest. "

Shit, I forgot. A could sense an oncoming disaster.

" Right, yeah. Just let me get changed and I'll be right out. "

You changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and black sweater, to not distract the audience from the clothes worn by the models.

I stood behind Taeyong to wait for my cue. He suddenly turned around and looked at me in the eyes.

" No good luck kiss like when we're 17? "

"You lost that right when you lost my trust. "

For a while Taeyong really looked hurt. I could have been imagining it, don't get your hopes up Y/N , it'll just break your heart again.

When Taeyong walked the runway, heads turned and jaws dropped. Of all the models to grace my brand they didn't expected him. Especially for the closing scene, but there wasn't anyone else under my belt that could pull of such an outfit.

I could see my guest started whispering among themselves. Some frowned, some smiled, some had cynical looks on their faces, like they expected you to fall back with your most popular ex.

When Taeyong came back, it was your time to shine.

" Thank you so much for coming to the show. Customers who would like to make purchases may raise their hand, an employee with an iPad would be of assistance. Once again thank you and goodnight. "

You bowed and returned to the back end. You started helping your staff pack up the equipment, but they all dismissed you midway claiming that they could finish up by themselves.

So you decided to pack up your belongings to head home to prepare for the after party.

After keeping everything, you double checked your belongings and found that your sketch book wasn't present.

You started panicking, the sketch book held many ideas and sketches for future references.

" Ms Bae you should head home to prepare yourself for the after party. "

" I know Nancy, but I can't seem to find my sketch book. "

Nancy's eyes became saucers, she knew how important that book was to you.

" I'll help you ask all the staff, you have to head home to prepare first, it's your first after party Ms Bae. "

" Okay, thank you Nancy. Contact me if you find it. "

[drimmolo]

2000AD Drawing method, actions and art style

I'm having a hard time thinking about what i could arite about in these posts since almost everything i talked about in my journals last semester was about all the harships i came across from draiwng a comic seriously for the first fime. This time, i already knew what i had to do so it's more about trying to note down my process on how i came to conclusions and decisions about designs and other such things but they happen so subocnsciously that i have to keep track on what i have to talk about ahah..anyway here's a journal on something very imporant: what i'm gonna use to make this comic!

So when Monty came around to see what our ideas and concepts were for this comic a few weeks ago, i showed him what i had thought about until now (mostly designs, concept art, themes and art style) and altough he liked everything, he made one remark that stuck with me: "this is an action comic so i would suggest that you focus less on details and more on dynamism. Make use of thicker lines and don't be afraid to use more black". At first i thought "well i mean sure" but then i realized that i do often tend to go a lot in details and create nice compositions almost unconsciously by using thin lines and very little black spots, and then end up with quite motionless bodies where only expressions change and the background engages the eye. 

I re-read my best comics and i realize that altough i play around with the camera angle at times, bodies don’t move that much...it kinda hurts to say but i’ve got a bit of a “talking heads syndrome” going on. I only make my readers engage with the text and with the details and not with what is actually happening.The only action that really moved the body in my last comic “Among Tales” is in page 4 where i am running...and that’s it. I guess it’s to be expected since most of my comics are about...pondering and talking and wondering rather than actual ...actiony stuff. I myself am quite the motionless person so I guess this realization should not come as a surprise.

I looked at the few action-y webcomics and mangas I love and i noticed that when it comes to the action itself, what really makes the reader engage with whats happening is actually perspective! I mean of course the main thing is having intense action with lots of dynamic poses and i get that, but I feel like a pose really becomes powerful when you see it from a point of view that enhances the action that is happening! Shounen mangas especially do that and i definetely can feel the impact of their actions because of it. If we take for example Boku No Hero Academia by Horikoshi, even fairly simple actions like the one in this page gain much more depth and impact simply because the angle is slightly tilted and the perspective is from below Jiro’s point of view (girl being saved).

So yeah, perspective was really something I tried for the first time to play with in terms of focusing on the people rather on the buildings! In Among tales I used perspective to show how big the library but in this case it was about enhancing movement and making the reader feel as if they are seeing the action right there as it is happening! 

(insert images here)

I feel like i could have pushed the perspective even more but in that case it would have become a bit excessive and since I’m not that great with it I feel like i would have wasted too much time on it. I think i found a good balance... also i really love the panel with axel slicing the throat...i feel like the arm just slightly being foreshortened gives much more strengh to the move!

The other thing that Monty talked about, about the inking and the lines and the details, I just agree. I use a very thin line because it allows me to add many details but in this comic the point is not details but AAACCCTION so i’m going to go for a much ticker and rougher inking style! 

I’d like to say that i want to imitate the manga style a bit...but that’s not style y’know? I never tried go for a rougher inking style but I know for certain that I want to not focus on details i can’t complete this comic on my Cintiq. When I work on my cintiq, I simply can’t help but focus on the details, and since I work on Pain Tool Sai, the lines and brushes are just smoother. If i were to ink this comic on my cintiq, I would end up with simply...thicker black lines sadly. My other classmates who often work digitally like me have decided to work on this comic tradionally to have that traditional 2000AD look...and i’d lie if i said i didn’t think about it too but i sadly fear that would be a bit too much of a long shot...I’d have to learn about traditional inking and learn to draw on A3 papers....which is jjust too much. I already decided that for this project what i was gonna really focus on is the sci-fi feel, the actions and the emotions (cause that’s just a must for my comics...i don’t enhance their emotions there’ just 0 for me)...so i think that i will let my traditional skills shine another time. 

No for this project, I decided i will make the entire comic on my ipad using Procreate, which i think is a nice compromise between traditional and full digital. It may not sound like that ot someone who is full traditional, but Procreate is actually not that fancy of a digital program, and was mostly designed for people who work traditionally and want to have fun with some digital art. The app and the brushes it offers are much more “life-like”, and since the ipad is acting as paper, it just feels a lot more like i’m just drawing on paper. My hand too is more relaxed, and the pen even has a tilt sensibility....so yeah...i think this is a fair compromise! 

[365daysofj2]

Comme Tu Veux (Library AU, 7/?)

Jared can’t wait to hear what Jensen’s surprise is. All he knows is that he’s supposed to wear nice clothes and they’re getting on a train, so he can bring snacks if he wants to. He doesn’t know where they’re going or what they’re doing when they get off the train, and Jared is thrilled. All Jensen would tell him is that they’re covering both of their areas of interest this weekend. Jared rings Jensen’s doorbell, although he’s starting to wonder if he should ask Jensen if he can just start letting himself in. They’ve been officially dating for two and a half months now, and while Jared’s not going to ask for a key or anything, he thinks he should get front-door-opening privileges. Jensen lives in the safest neighborhood in the entire township—it’s not even on GPS, and unless you live nearby, you wouldn’t even know it’s there��so there’s no reason he needs to keep his door locked all the time. Although it’s Jensen, so he probably does anyway. Jensen opens the door. He’s wearing a gray argyle sweater vest (Jared’s favorite, actually) with a crisp white shirt and black trousers, and he looks every bit the stuffed-shirt librarian. But he grins when he sees Jared’s black Deathly Hallows sweater and gray trousers. “That’s perfect, actually,” he says with a chuckle. Jared’s eyes widen. “Really? It’s a Harry Potter thing?” “Of sorts,” replies Jensen with a smug smile. “You’ll find out soon enough.” Jared hoists his BB-8 bag higher on his shoulder. He’s got his iPad full of comics and Rifftrax videos, which Jared said to bring, and Jensen said he’d watch one of Jared’s movies if Jared listened to some poetry. “You got everything? Water, snacks, entertainment? It’s not a super long train ride, just about three and a half hours.” Jared nods. “I’m ready. Let’s do this mysterious thing.” Jensen grins and grabs his leather briefcase. Jared rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “God, you are such a nerd.” “You’re a nerd, too,” retorts Jensen. “I’m a geek,” Jared corrects him. “There’s a difference.” “Tell me on the way,” says Jensen, nudging Jared out the door. Jensen locks up and unlocks his Mercedes. Jared didn’t think Branch Librarians got paid that well, but Jensen explained that his family was rich by central Pennsylvania standards, and he’d bought both the car and the townhouse in cash. He didn’t have any student loan debt either, which made Jared so unbelievably envious that his head actually hurt. Jared clambers into the front seat and swings his bag into the footwell. Jensen turns on the car and immediately the stereo comes on speaking a language that Jared can’t immediately identify. “What is that?” Jensen blushes. “It’s Harry Potter à l’École des Sorciers—i.e., Harry Potter in French.” Jared stares at him. “Harry Potter in French. Because you couldn’t be caught dead reading an American children’s book?” Jensen shrugs, apparently unoffended. “I wanted a challenge.” “So you speak French? That’s real useful in an inner-city library.” Jensen’s face falls. “Yeah, I mostly wish I’d taken Spanish or Mandarin in school.” “Your school had Mandarin?” “The college did.” Jensen backs out of the parking space and points them toward the train station. They’re going to Middletown instead of Harrisburg because the parking is free there. It’s one stop further east, but it’s only a few minutes’ difference. They board the train and get a whole row to themselves. There aren’t many people on the train yet. Most people will get on at Harrisburg. Jared opens his bag and gets out his iPad. He opens Comixology and starts catching up on Injustice: Gods Among Us Year 2. Jensen gets out his own tablet and opens Kindle to something Jared can’t identify because once again, it’s in French. “Showoff,” mutters Jared. Jensen puts his arm around Jared. “Does it really bother you?” Jared shrugs. “A little. I’m an actual educator and I feel stupid next to you sometimes.” Jensen kisses his temple. “I don’t mean to make you feel inadequate or insecure. I’m just a really huge nerd. Believe me, you’re superior to me in a number of ways, not least of which is your ability to socialize like a normal person. I mean, you can talk to anyone. I envy you that.” Jared forces a small smile. “Is that my superpower?” Jensen nods, grinning. “That and being really, ridiculously attractive.” That makes Jared smile for real. “You’re not so bad yourself in that area.” “I look like a nerd, and an effeminate one to boot. You look like Conan the Librarian.” Jared laughs at that. “Conan the Librarian. I really want to get that on my nametag now.” “I dare you to put that in as a print request,” teases Jensen. “You know I actually will, right?” Jensen chuckles. “That’s what I love about you.” He kisses Jared’s cheek. “Well, that’s one thing out of about a thousand.” Jared grins and tips Jensen’s face towards him so he can give him a proper kiss. “We should compare lists sometime.” “My list is in French,” replies Jensen, but he quirks an eyebrow to show he’s joking. “You should teach me French,” says Jared between kisses. Jensen grins. “I would love that.” “How do you say, ‘kiss me’ in French?” “Embrasse-moi or fais-moi un bisou,” answers Jensen. “Embrasse-moi,” repeats Jared as best he can. “Ouai, comme tu veux,” says Jensen, capturing Jared’s lips for another kiss.

* * * They arrive in Johnstown about three hours later. Jensen calls them a cab, which takes them to Hoss’s Steak and Sea House. “This isn’t the surprise, right?” Jensen laughs. “No, we’re eating first. Then we’ll head to the concert hall.” After they eat, Jensen gets them another cab and they drive to a college campus. The cab lets them off at the Pasquerilla Performing Arts Center, and Jensen leads Jared to the concert hall inside. He hands their tickets to a student usher and she hands them two programs, which is when Jared sees what the surprise is. They’re at the Johnstown Symphony Orchestra’s performance of The Music of John Williams. Jared smiles so wide he can feel the stretch in his cheeks. “Oh my God, this is awesome!” Jensen grins and takes Jared’s hand as they walk to their seats. “I figured it was the best of both worlds.” Once they’ve taken their seats, Jared draws Jensen close for a passionate kiss. “I love it, thank you. This is perfect.” Jensen grins and takes Jared’s hand in his. “You’re very welcome. I’m glad you like it.” Jared sighs happily. “You’re the best boyfriend ever.” Jensen beams. “Je t’aime,” he whispers as the lights go down. Even Jared knows what that means. “I love you too,” he whispers.

[letsmakemagicalmoments]

The Death List - Chapter 1

The New England air was cold and crisp in early September. Kennedy Heart stood on the sidewalk looking up at the different colors that

were splashed among the trees. She took a deep breath in and held it there for just a moment and closed her eyes. She was happy here in Salem, Massachusetts. She thought she would miss being back home in Kansas but she honestly was happy here. Kennedy wrapped her arms around herself and shuddered. It was going to be a very cold winter she decided. She opened her eyes and glanced at her phone. The time indicated that it was almost time for her very first class at Salem State University. She smiled to herself and began to walk towards the building her class would be in. Her first class of the day happened to be Calculus, her favorite subject. Kennedy adored math while most girls enjoyed English or Literature. She had already determined that she would be either a math or accounting major. Math would be involved somehow she knew that for certain. Her shoes squeaked on the linoleum as she walked into the building. Excitement and nervousness bubbled inside of her stomach as she pulled out a piece of notebook paper that contained her class schedule and classroom number. The building was loud as many college students stood in the halls drinking their coffee, eating their breakfast, and chatting about their day. Kennedy kept her head down not wanting to make any eye contact with anyone. After what seemed like an eternity Kennedy found room 202 and walked into the classroom. Professor Simmons was already there getting ready for class. Kennedy looked at her phone and saw she had twenty minutes to class and a message from her brother. Maybe she was too early. She looked up and searched for a spot and decided on one that wasn’t too close to the front but not too close to the back. She made a mental note to come to class this early because there weren’t many students in here yet. Kennedy sat down taking off her backpack and jacket and pulled out her notebook and some pens. She knew a lot of students will opt for a laptop or even an ipad but there was something about pen and paper that she loved besides this was math so a laptop probably wouldn’t be useful. She decided to open her phone and read the message from her brother Jonathan.

Hey, Ken! Good luck on your first day of class. Sorry I couldn’t help you move in. Call or text if you need me. Miss you.

Kennedy sighed and closed her eyes. Jonathan was six years older than Kennedy he had already graduated from Kansas State University and was an officer in the Army. He had just been relocated to Fort Bragg in North Carolina. Jonathan wanted Kennedy to go to school in North Carolina but for whatever reason her heart was set on going to Salem State. Jonathan and Kennedy only had each other now. Their parents had died in a car accident when Kennedy was just twelve. Jon had become her legal guardian and stayed with her in Kansas until she went off to college. Kennedy still had a hard time with her parents’ death; she was extremely close with both of them. Even now thinking about it she felt a golf ball rise in her throat and tears pricking her eyes. She quickly shook and it off and texted her brother back.

Thanks should be a good class. I’ll let you know if I need anything. No big deal on helping me move in! My new roommate Colleen and her family helped a lot. Love you.

She sent the text, put her phone on vibrate, and stowed it away in her backpack. She tucked her long straight black hair behind her ear and began to doodle on her paper. She was very focused on her doodle until she heard a small cough. Kennedy looked up blinking in confusion. A tall very good-looking boy stared down at her. He had short dark black hair (that looked even darker than her own) it was slightly tousled with the bangs slightly flipped up, the jell in it glistened slightly and his skin was an olive tan color but seemed almost pale like he hadn’t seen the sun in days. What was most memorable about this boy standing before her was his eyes they were a shocking shade of violet. Kennedy furrowed her brows in confusion wondering how on earth anyone could possibly have purple eyes? Was he blind? Suddenly her thoughts were broken by his velvety husky voice.

“Um I’m sorry but are you listening to me?”

“What?” Kennedy asked in surprise making a mental note to google purple eyes later. The strange boy chucked.

“I said is this seat taken?” Kennedy shook her head and the boy sat down and after taking out his notebook and pens he turned and stared at her fiercely. Kennedy looked back down at her paper. She felt heat rise to her face as she felt his eyes on her. The boy cleared his throat and reluctantly she turned and looked at him.

“Do you have a tickle in your throat?” She asked sarcastically.

“No.” The boy simply said with a smirk. Kennedy frowned and felt very awkward. Did this person have no social grace?

“Well…can I help you?” Kennedy knew she was being rude but she didn’t really want to be bothered. The boy smiled at her politely, she noticed he had deep dimples in both of his cheeks.

“I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Everett Matthews.” Everett stuck out his hand still smiling. Kennedy looked at his hand skeptically.

“Kennedy Heart.” Kennedy said taking his hand shaking it. His hand was very soft and very hot but not sweaty. She looked down at his hand in confusion and quickly pulled it away. She went back to her paper trying her best to ignore him. He kept looking at her until finally the class started. Kennedy was relieved that she had something else to pay attention too. Everett was very unusual she decided.

After what seemed like a very long class Kennedy packed up her stuff and began to walk out. She was extremely annoyed. Everett stared at her almost the entire class, which was obviously very distracting “Didn’t he have anything better to do? Like maybe taking notes? ” She wondered. She was so annoyed at his audacity to gawk at her that she didn’t even notice her phone was buzzing for a few seconds. She pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket and saw the caller was her new roommate Colleen O’Malley.

“Hello?” Kennedy answered.

“Kennedy! Are you hungry?” Colleen chirped happily. Kennedy looked at her phone and saw that it was ten am.

“I guess I could eat…I forgot to grab breakfast. Why?” Kennedy asked

“I’m starved. The cafeteria is serving brunch if you’re interested? We could wait till lunch if you want.”

“No, food now is good.” Kennedy said thoughtfully.

“Great, I’ll meet there.” Colleen said excitedly and hung up the phone.

Kennedy was thankful for Colleen. Colleen was upbeat and extremely extroverted. Kennedy wasn’t a complete introvert and definitely wasn’t a loner but she preferred to quietly watch movies, read books, or draw. Colleen would make sure she got out and socialized. Colleen reminded Kennedy of her best friends at home Stephanie and Lucy. They both stayed in Kansas and were both devastated by Kennedy’s decision to move all the way to New England for school and now that her brother moved to North Carolina it would be difficult for her to see them back in Kansas over the holidays. Kennedy decided to call them later.

Before heading into the cafeteria Kennedy ducked into the bathroom. She went over to the sink and splashed some water on her face. She looked at the girl in the mirror. Her ivory colored skin was splotched with red and her bright blue colored eyes looked almost manic. That class really stressed her out. Which was really frustrating because that was the class she looked most forward to. She decided right then and there to avoid Everett Matthews. Maybe she’ll come a little late on Wednesday and find a different seat. She was annoyed with that though because she found the perfect spot. With a sigh she left the bathroom and walked into the cafeteria to find her roommate waiting for her.

Colleen was the embodiment of sunshine Kennedy decided. Colleen had shoulder length golden blonde hair, bright green eyes, and toasty tan skin. She was warm and friendly; she always had a smile on her face. Colleen was from Virginia Beach. Colleen hugged Kennedy tightly when she saw her.

“How was your first day, roomie?”

“It’s not over yet.” Kennedy said glumly

“That’s not a good attitude to have. It’ll be a very long semester for year if you keep that up.” Colleen said with a smile. They both grabbed some breakfast food and sat at a table.

“Seriously though why do you look so upset, Ken? Was calculus harder than you expected?” She looked at Kennedy with concern now.

“No, no. Not at all.” Kennedy said with a sigh. “It was a great class…just ugh. There was this guy next to me…” Kennedy trailed off. Colleen’s eyes gleamed wickedly.

“Oooohhh was he attractive?” Colleen asked brightly. Kennedy glowered at her friend.

“That’s really not the point. He would not stop staring at me and I couldn’t focus. It’s really hard to concentrate when someone is literally sitting there just staring. So I missed like most of the lecture.” Kennedy spilled out. She crossed her arms angrily.

“I’m sorry that doesn’t sound like a big enough problem that would ruin this gorgeous day. Maybe he just thought you were incredibly beautiful.” Colleen stated. Kennedy snorted.

“Yeah, okay.” She picked up her muffin and bit into it.

“Hold on.” Colleen said suddenly looking past Kennedy. “Is that him?” Kennedy turned around her cheeks flushing again. It was him all right and he was sitting at a table with a couple guys and he was staring at her.

“Seriously? What is his deal!” Kennedy exclaimed throwing her hands up into the air in exasperation. Colleen laughed heartily.

“Who knows? Just ignore him. Anyways, there’s this party tonight…”

“Colleen O’Malley. No.” Kennedy said sternly.

“Kennedy Heart, yes. This is a great opportunity to make friends. Plus I know for a fact you didn’t go to an actual party in Kansas.” Colleen said smiling. Kennedy pursed her lips and thought about this. This was true she had never been to a party and it would be a good way to get to know more people. Colleen watched her friend consider this and her smile deepened.

“Pleeeasseeee come with me. What else are you going to do tonight? Homework? It’s our first day of freshman year it can seriously wait. Come on out and have fun tonight.” Kennedy sighed. She was sold.

“Okay fine. But I’m not planning on drinking too much or anything and I don’t want to stay till 3am. I want to be back in our room by AT LEAST one. Preferably twelve.” Kennedy said standing up and putting her jacket back on.

“You have my word.” Colleen said throwing her arms around Kennedy. “Yay! I’m so excited. Our very first college party! I can hardly wait.”

“Oh yeah…I can hardly wait,” Kennedythought bitterly, glancing at Everett quickly. He was still staring.

[silviajburke]

Face to Face with the Fed

This post Face to Face with the Fed appeared first on Daily Reckoning.

“There’s no question the banking regulators blew it leading up to the [2008] financial crisis. And the problem is we’re gonna blow it again… Human societies are prone to mass delusion.”

Well, props for honesty, I guess. But it’s about the most transparency you’ll ever get from one of the most opaque institutions on the planet, the Federal Reserve.

Your editor was present last night as Minneapolis Fed President Neel Kashkari held a “town hall” meeting. Kashkari performs this exercise in public outreach every few weeks somewhere in the Fed’s sprawling District 9 — stretching from Michigan’s Upper Peninsula 1,400 miles west to Montana.

Kashkari saw the Panic of 2008 up close and personal. He was the Treasury Department’s point man for the bank bailouts. Since he began his current gig 18 months ago, he’s made it his mission to break up the big banks. We even cited his first speech on the job here in The 5: “I believe the biggest banks are still too big to fail and continue to pose a significant, ongoing risk to our economy.”

Heh. The contrast to Fed chair Janet Yellen couldn’t be more, umm, striking.

Hours before Kashkari held court last night, Yellen was speaking in London — declaring the banks are “very much stronger” and another 2008-level crisis is unlikely to occur “in our lifetimes.”

Here’s the full quotation: “Would I say there will never, ever be another financial crisis?. You know probably that would be going too far, but I do think we are much safer, and I hope that it will not be in our lifetimes and I don’t believe it will be.”

For the record, Ms. Yellen turns 71 in a few weeks. Brings to mind the old joke about a lifetime guarantee — “My lifetime, not yours.”

Anyway, it’s on the record for posterity. Just as it was when her predecessor Ben Bernanke declared in July 2005, “We’ve never had a decline in housing prices on a nationwide basis.”

Yellen’s audience was a bunch of fellow eggheads at the British Academy. At least Kashkari is trying to get out among real people — which history has shown can be a dicey proposition for a Fed pooh-bah.

The most famous instance of public outreach by the Fed was also the most disastrous.

In March 2011, New York Fed chief Bill Dudley ventured into Queens to meet with the hoi polloi. At the time, even the official inflation numbers were racing past 3% and the rising cost of living was on everyone’s mind.

On the basis of a wonky concept known as “hedonic adjustments,” Dudley essentially told the crowd that inflation was a figment of their imagination. “Today,” he explained, “you can buy an iPad 2 that costs the same as an iPad 1 that is twice as powerful. You have to look at the prices of all things.”

From the back of the room came the devastating rejoinder: “I can’t eat an iPad.”

Yeah, that was fodder for weeks…

There were no “edible iPad” moments for Kashkari last night.

Maybe that’s because he doesn’t fit the profile of the typical central banker. A second-generation Indian-American, he was an aerospace engineer by training before he got into the finance racket.

He’s also more glib than the typical central banker. No doubt his political skills were honed by running for governor of California in 2014. (Jerry Brown stomped him 60%-40%.)

And so when small-business owners and retirees hectored him about how low interest rates are forcing them to put more of their savings into the stock market, more than they’re comfortable with, he was prepared with artful dodges: Rates have been declining steadily since the early 1980s. Raising rates now would crater the weak recovery. Pension plans groaning under the weight of low rates are mismanaged. (All of which is true, but beside the point.)

He also came back to the plan he developed last year to break up the big banks, thereby mitigating the risks he admits still exist.

But what if another 2008-scale crisis erupts before such a plan can be implemented? (Assuming the vast forces arrayed against the plan on both Wall Street and K Street could be overcome in the first place.)

That was the question I posed during the town hall, after consulting via email earlier in the day with Agora Financial’s macroeconomic maven Jim Rickards.

Sure, I said, the Fed would quickly bring interest rates back down to near-zero levels. But does the Fed really have the capacity to add another $4 trillion to its balance sheet? Or would the liquidity have to come from some other source — such as the International Monetary Fund’s super-currency known as SDRs, or “special drawing rights”?

Kashkari puts on his best poker face as your editor asks Jim Rickards’ question

[Screengrab from Minneapolis Fed video via YouTube]

If you’ve been reading Jim’s work for any length of time — or even following our thumbnail sketches of his work in The 5 — you know Jim believes it’s politically untenable for the Fed to blow up the balance sheet again the way it did from 2008–2014…

That is, the torches and pitchforks will come out if the Fed embarks willy-nilly on a new round of money printing. From $4.5 trillion now to $8.5 or $9 trillion? Not happening. Especially not when the Fed is already leveraged more than 100-to-1.

In a crisis, the liquidity to save the system will have to come from the only solvent institution left standing — the IMF. It will print SDRs in mass quantity to be distributed among the globe’s governments and central banks. You and I will continue to transact in dollars — but thanks to the proliferation of SDRs, those dollars’ purchasing power will shrink dramatically, and in a hurry.

This isn’t Jim’s idle speculation; the plan was laid out in an IMF white paper in January 2011.

Kashkari dodged this one too — as best he could.

To begin with, he said, “There’s nothing on the horizon that tells us another ’08 crisis is imminent” — even as he allowed that “by their nature you never see the risk until it blows up in your face.”

Alrighty then…

“I think the Fed still has a lot of tools in our arsenal,” he went on. He itemized them as follows: zero interest rate policy, or ZIRP. More quantitative easing. And forward guidance, which is Fed-speak for how the Fed jawbones the markets about its intentions.

In other words, more of the same.

“Whether we could expand our balance sheet another $4 trillion, I don’t know. I don’t know what the limits would be in the Treasury market or the mortgage-backed securities market. But I think we would have a lot of tools at our disposal. And ultimately if it were another ’08-type crisis, Congress would have to get involved again.”

Kashkari is an adamant defender of the 2008 bank bailouts that Congress approved and he oversaw. “We hated to do it. It was the right thing to do.”

[Recovered history: He left out the part about how his boss, Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson, threatened Congress that if it didn’t act, the resulting economic meltdown would necessitate martial law. This story was confirmed at the time by both Rep. Brad Sherman (D-California) and Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Oklahoma).]

“A disappointing answer, but not too surprising coming from a Fed official,” Jim tells me this morning.

“The answer about ZIRP, QE, forward guidance, etc., is the playbook for a recession (from Yellen’s 2016 Jackson Hole speech). It’s not the playbook for a crisis, which is completely different.”

A while back, Jim himself asked the same question of Timothy Geithner, Obama’s first Treasury Secretary… and got an equally unsatisfying answer.

If you find this episode a little unsettling — especially the part about “no imminent crisis” even though Kashkari admits central bankers do a lousy job of anticipating crises — you might want to take some of the precautionary measures now. Rickards’ suggests increasing your allocations to 10% of your investable assets in gold.

Best regards,

Dave Gonigam for The Daily Reckoning

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