#i thought we had something special fr 😞

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

soo

my cat ran away.

it's been three days =D

and uhhh she hasn't returned when she usually does

it has also rained, specifically the night she left the house.

uhhh yeah

[lady-lycany]

While I was watching Lucifer with my mom, I forgot about my worries, was able to laugh and relax for a bit........... We turn the dvd player off and what fucking song is playing on the music chanel? "give me a minute to hold my girl" aaaand my face is wet again 🗿

Nah but fr, watching Lucifer always gives me a different point of view in special situations... Y'all know that I'm currently not really best buddies with god ect. so I wondered, if this today was some sort of punishment for me, since all that happened while I was alone with her... And the almighty probably knows, that I care less about myself than the people I love... That was the first kind of thought I had about the situation... But after thinking about it for a while... Even tho, it was a ton of responsibility that was imposed on me, and I'm still in shock and mentally & physically weakened by it, I'm kinda proud that this task was given to me ; that it happened in the moment, where I was alone with her. Her life was put into my hands to take care of it and I couldn't have done a better job at handling the situation. I would say, if that was a test, I passed it perfectly. I couldn't have done anything better, than what I did. It was like a sign, that they know how much I care about her and that I would do anything to protect her.

That doesn't change anything about my perspective that the guys up there in heaven do a miserable job at taking care of her. She was born on the streets, had rough 9 puppy months, managed to survive, to only have one health issue after the other, and even got poisoned, so that her liver will never regulate from it.... After all these bad health conditions.... Doesn't she deserve a calmer life? At least let her have some peace in her older years. Is that too much too ask for? Such a little creature and so many health issues. That's just unfair :( I hope that she'll recover from it without any damage and that it's not something, that could take her life earlier than it should.

My baby doesn't deserve that 😞❤