#i told you my thoughts were incoherent AFJSLKGHSKJDF

[birlwrites]

more crowley thoughts!!!

(also, muriel is a child of divorce now and crowley is a single dad 😔)

CROWLEY IS LIKE. I'M A DEMON I'M NOT NICE I CAN'T GO AROUND RETURNING PEOPLE'S LOST PROPERTY

AND THEN HE HAS HOUSEPLANTS. AND HE HITS ANATHEMA WITH HIS CAR AND IS MORE CONCERNED ABOUT FIXING THE CAR. AND THE CAR GETS DESTROYED ANYWAY BECAUSE HE HAS TO GO TO AZIRAPHALE AND HIS SUNGLASSES BREAK IN THE BOOKSHOP AND HE BACKED ADAM UP WITH A TIRE IRON. HE TAKES A BOOK FROM THE SHOP AS A SOUVENIR/MEMENTO AND BRINGS IT WITH HIM TO THE BAR AND I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW HE WALKS

AND!!! HIS GO-TO SOLUTION WITH A REALLY HEAD-ON PROBLEM IS FAST TALKING AND TRICKERY (HASTUR, DUKE OF HELL, YOU WILL LEAD THE LEGIONS OF THE DAMNED/WHATEVER THAT RULE WAS HE MADE UP ABOUT CIVILIANS, THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAILS, I LOVED THAT SO MUCH) AND HE *IS* VERY SNAKEY AND LIKE. SLITHERING OUT OF THINGS OR COMING AT THEM FROM A DIFFERENT DIRECTION LIKE WITH JOB'S GOATS ETC

AND HE LOVES HIS CAR SO MUCH AND HE WANTS TO RUN AWAY WITH AZIRAPHALE AND I CAN'T GET THE LINE 'SHOEMAKING AND OBSTETRICS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE TWIN PASSIONS OF BILDAD THE SHUITE' OUT OF MY HEAD AND THE WAY HE SITS DOWN ON THE ARMREST OF AZIRAPHALE'S CHAIR TO TALK TO MURIEL MAKES ME INSANE

HE THROWS STACKS OF BOOKS ON THE FLOOR BUT HE DOESN'T SELL ANY OF THEM. HE CONFRONTS GABRIEL OVER AND OVER BECAUSE *HE'S* PISSED ON AZIRAPHALE'S BEHALF EVEN IF AZIRAPHALE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE. HE HELPS AZIRAPHALE WITH HIS MAGIC ACT AND ENCOURAGES HIM TO GO INTO THE SHOP FOR PROFESSIONAL MAGICIANS. HE KNOWS THE BOOKS IN THE BOOKSHOP WELL ENOUGH TO TELL WHEN ADAM ADDS NEW ONES. HE FIXES THINGS (AZIRAPHALE'S COAT, THE CAR) BY BLOWING ON THEM FOR SOME REASON. HE DRIVES THROUGH THE M25 WHILE IT'S ON FIRE LISTENING TO I'M IN LOVE WITH MY CAR AND LITERALLY MAKES IT THROUGH WITH THE POWER OF IMAGINATION. WHEN AZIRAPHALE PRETENDS TO BE HIM HE ACTS SO COOL AND COMPOSED BECAUSE THAT'S HOW HE SEES HIM. HE CALLS AZIRAPHALE 'ANGEL' *RELENTLESSLY.* HE WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT THE NEBULA. AND HE REALLY GENUINELY TRIED AT THE END OF SEASON 2 IT K I L L S ME I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN JUST THINKING ABOUT IT AND HOW HE MUST HAVE BEEN PLANNING IT OUT BEFORE AZIRAPHALE THREW THIS ABSOLUTE CURVEBALL

LIKE!!!!

CAN I GET A WAHOO