#i used to Kind Of enjoy some of my features but Wow i am just Painfully ugly

[cheeseceli]

What Do You Even Know?

Pairing: Hyunjin x gn!reader

Genre: fluff, friends to lovers, small drabble

Words: 765

summary: Hyunjin finally realises he doesn't know as much as he thought he did, and he once again discovers something new

request: I can’t help but think of Hyunjin telling someone how much they mean to him as basically a confession and the other person is kind of shy about it and didn’t think he could see them like that and he’s like “ahhh what do you even know” it won’t leave my head 🤞

authors note: tumblr hates me atp i swear. anyways, not proofread as always but yeah

Hyunjin thought he knew a lot. Of course, he wasn't cocky enough to think he knew everything, but he wasn't clueless either. He knew he loved to perform and to be on stage. He knew he liked to eternalise moments through art and photographs. He knew the boys were his family after living together day after day for 5 years. And he knew you.

He knew he loved your smile and would make anything on his power to keep it on your face. He knew he loved your laugh even though you hated it, and he knew it would physically hurt him everytime you tried to silence it. He knew he hated seeing you cry, and it was so unfair because even then you looked beautiful. He knew he was happier by your side. But he didn't know why.

Hyunjin always had a curious nature, so he couldn't help but wonder why you were so… different. No, he was the different one whenever he was next to you. But you were so casual abou it that he doubted you felt it too. Have someone else noticed it? He acted differently around you, he was sure, but why would-

"Hyunjin?"

He looked at you when he heard your voice. Actually, using better wording, he focused on you once you called his name, as he was already looking at you while he was thinking. He noticed your eyes, how they were shining even when the lighting was bad. Your eyes would've looked so pretty if they weren't filled with worry.

"What?" he replied with a slightly hoarse voice, noticing he probably didn't say anything in a while.

"You looked a little bit lost in thought just now. Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

You gave him a small smile, a smile that immediately took some weight off his shoulders.

"Nothing much, I was just rambling about some annoying coworkers. What were you thinking about?"

He tried to articulate his thoughts. Truth is, he didn't know what he was thinking about. Right now, his mind was blank and all he could focus on was the domesticity of the situation. It was a friday night at the dorm. It was too late for you to go back to your home, and even though he didn't say anything, you both knew he was silently asking for you to stay the night. The lights were off and the living room was being iluminated by the moon. Your legs were resting on top of him, his hand slowly caressing your skin. He was thinking about it all. He was thinking about…

"You."

You were taken aback by his blunt words. You didnt't expect him to be so straightforward. And you'd never expect him to think about you so intensely.

"Oh? Care to explain?"

"Just, you know, how I've changed since I met you." He averted your eyes from you, knowing you were observing him, searching for a more detailed explanation "I don't know, I feel like… like I've changed for better?"

He dared to look at you once again. You were watching him so dearly that he felt that he could lose himself on your features once more. Just like that, he understood why he felt so good by your side.

"Yeah, I've definetly become a better person because of you. I am more aware lately. I'm enjoying my life more. I think it's because I get to live it with you."

You were speechless. Even though he didnt't look at you throughout his somewhat confession, you could still feel the genuine feeling behind each word he said. You chuckled, not knowing what to say.

"Wow, I… didn't know you thought of me like this. I'm touched." you said, half in a whisper, half in a giggle, still processing what had been said to you.

It was Hyunjin's turn to laugh lightheartedly to your words, the meaning of his speech sinking in meanwhile he slowly realised what was happening to him, to you both.

"What do you even know…"

Later on, you'd finally realise what he meant with those last words. For now, he was enjoying, aware of the warmth your body radiated towards him. Because now he knew he liked the way you cared for him and why he'd have a smile whenever you crossed his mind. It's because he loves every detail about you, every flaw, quality and insecurity. Above all, he loved you, and now he knew it.

Feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated!

Header by @cafekitsune as always

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if i cut off someone reaching out for help on tumblr? i am a very anxious person. ive been on tumblr a very long time because most all other social media terrifies me as someone who grew up with the wild west internet a decade past (im in my late 20s) so i feel sometimes with how reckless and spurractic people can be online in chatroom and especially clearly public platforms where any stranger, malicious or otherwise can just archive your digital presence for personal use.

more recently as someone who has been here during the pornban and as an asexual really enjoyed the quiet with no drama farming and a slow pace to talk about more unique political topics in a measured way it is something im strangely nostalgic for and a great example of my sensibilities to people when they insist that i use other platforms like discord or twitter or whatever clone for these services comes out of the old guard introducing feature creep to copy everyone else or any other indi "were the anti corporate version" of the endless scroll apps. i just dont want it. tumblr is special because im desktop only, been here for years, and i have kept track of every single change made so i have manually adjusted the change through hacks to evade every bad decision on here and make my set up look identical to how it was in 2010. so let it be understood that i tend to be a loney person because of this stubbornness. web 3.0 is too dangerous to people with addictive tendencies that my adhd brings out and my need to wear my heart on my sleeve. so i hope i defended my personality type enough to show why someone like me would see a post about some horrible abuses they have fell victim to who also share alot of the marginalized status as me and writing depressive things in the replys of others posts as to attention seek about it.

i directly interact with this person, not only to check if they are real (but wow, modern chat bots make this part horrifying for me. we really cant ever know for sure what is real anymore. trying to find warmth on the internet feels impossible now a days) i have multiple conversations at this point both venting and just casually shooting the shit. but the begging for me to constantly repost their paypal makes me so nervous in a way that i feel so guilty for because it reminds me of all the scams that get associated with this kind of ebegging and the reminder that capitalism takes away all warmth from human interaction to make them purely transnational and conditional. but then it just has been escalating where im so scared that now its not enough that im reposing on my 8 follower, all mutual blog, they are asking me to share it on other socials. accounts i do not have i have a flip phone and a laptop and i am tinkering with a windows 7 tower that will never be connected to the internet so i can always have software sit perfectly in its time capsule for when i need it. i do not have a way to help this person outside of what i learned from collage psyche classes. a part of me is so scared to just abruptly cut them off and just delete my entire account like i tend to do often on tumblr for a multitude of reasons, its a part of what lets people survive being here this long but i worry that would crush them if i did that, i dont want to make them feel more hopeless and unwanted then they already talk about. but i am text on the internet through a screen. i can only do so much. so would i be the asshole if i just deleted my account with a "i hope you hang in there, the world is a harsh place but keep moving" to cut someone so similar to me who is struggling out of my life?

What are these acronyms?

[kwanisms]

Tales from Camp 12 - FINAL

«« previous || masterlist || end.

➮ dom!Wonwoo × sub!Reader wc: 13.9k summary: Wonwoo treats his campers to a night of ghost stories but after the kids go to sleep, he decides to visit Y/N’s tent to make sure the stories didn’t scare her. genres/themes/au: angst, fluff, smut; non idol au, camp counselor au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, sexual content (18+ mdni), smut warnings under the cut! join my taglist! join the holiday special taglist!

a/n: i have no excuses. And i am terribly sorry about this taking so long. It’s been so long since i started this series and i kept delaying this part because i lost inspiration for literally everything. And then, when i planned on finishing it, Wonwoo’s mother passed and i felt it would be wrong to post it so close to her passing. I didn’t want to leave this series unfinished in the end because i really enjoyed writing every piece and although I’ve given up on some other works, i didn’t want to give up on this so it’s finally here. I’m so sorry again it took me literally years to finish this series but hopefully this 14k worth of word vomit helps. As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

tagging: @yoonguurt and @babiesanshine ​ because they asked me to lol

smut warnings: sexting, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), cockwarming, fingering, marking (f receiving), pussy slapping, finger sucking, dirty talk, praise kink, dom!Wonwoo, sub!Reader, oral (f receiving, m receiving), face & throat fucking, use of pet names, multiple orgasms, creampie and I think that's everything lol

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When Seokmin finished his tale, the entire group was stunned. “Thigh riding? Really?” asked Joshua, laughing. “What kind of fanfiction bullshit is that?” The others burst into laughter, Seokmin along with them. “I promise you, it did happen. She was really into it,” he said. Mingyu let out an audible “wow.” 

“Makes sense,” Wonwoo said with a nod. All eyes fell on him. “What do you mean?” Seokmin asked the older male. Wonwoo glanced up from the fire and noticed everyone looking at him. “I just meant that you have the best thighs out of everyone. Any woman would go crazy over them,” he said with a shrug.

Seungcheol cleared his throat and everyone turned to him. “Last story before we turn in for the night,” he said and just as quick as they looked away, everyone’s focus was on Wonwoo once more. He glanced around at all the eyes on him, turning a slight shade of pink before muttering under his breath. “Fuck.”

He let out a long sigh, looking up at the starry sky before a smile took over his features. “Alright,” he said smiling. “I got one. This is really going to knock your socks off,” he said, nodding. “Remember that camping trip I organized? It was my nephew’s friends and parents? Well, one of his friends brought his sister, who happened to be my age,” Wonwoo said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“And boy was she something,” he added with a chuckle. “I get all hot just thinking about it,” he added. “Okay! Ew!” Chan said, covering his ears amidst laughter. Jihoon nudged Wonwoo with his foot. “Enough of that, just get on with the story!” he snapped. Wonwoo nodded. “Alright, alright,” he said.

“Here’s how it went.”

Wonwoo let out a heavy sigh, glancing up at the sky as the campers slowly showed up, one by one, outside the campgrounds office building. This location was the one always used by the scout troops and for summer camps but this time of the year it was practically abandoned. No one wanted to go camping during the fall for some odd reason. Wonwoo didn't mind it however. Maybe it was the cooler temperatures and near guarantee that the bugs were already hibernating that was reason enough for him. 

He glanced around, eyeing up the old office building. The old stained wood gave a rustic look and feel to the area. The trees rustled as the wind blew lightly. The skies a cool grey color as the clouds masked the usual pale blue.

Wonwoo closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, his nose catching the scent of rain in the air. That clean almost watery smell that his sister always said didn't exist. He exhaled slowly and softly as he wondered silently to himself when this nightmare would be over.

Maybe nightmare was too strong of a word. This camping trip was his idea after all but now that it was here, he regretted deeply offering to do it at all. His nephew had wanted to go camping but his parents were unable to take him due to their busy work schedules so Wonwoo, being the kind uncle he was, offered to chaperone the whole trip. It was to be his nephew and a handful of his school friends with their parents. Five children and six adults, himself included.

He was currently waiting for the last of the children and their guardians to arrive when he spotted you. His eyes were scanning over the children and guardians that were present when they landed on your figure, squatting down next to a small girl in a pink raincoat as you adjusted said raincoat, smiling up at her before you pulled her hood up and stood up. Wonwoo watched as the girl hugged your leg tightly.

His eyes trailed up from the child attached to your leg, up to your face where you were looking around nonchalantly until you turned your head, locking eyes with him. You gave him a warm smile, waving at him. Wonwoo returned the smile and waved back.

Wonwoo had met you before, in college. You had the same communications class and he was certain he had borrowed your notes a fair few times. You had changed tho. Your hair was different than before and your features had matured since freshman year.

He watched as you turned to look at one of the other parents, no doubt answering to your name. Wonwoo couldn't help but let his eyes wander, resting on your backside before he forced himself to look away and pay attention to his nephew who was now demanding his full attention.

"Is it gonna rain, Uncle Woo?" The little boy asked. Wonwoo knelt down in front of his nephew, Min-jun. "I think it might, but I don't think it's anything we have to worry about," he said, making sure the boy's jacket was zipped and his hat on properly. "We've got waterproof tents and there are wooden cabins if anything happens."

Min-jun smiled at Wonwoo and nodded as his uncle adjusted the straps of his backpack and stood straight again. Looking around once more, Wonwoo could see that most, if not everyone, was either standing around or pulling their equipment from their cars. He felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder and glanced at the man responsible for helping coordinate this trip. They exchanged friendly smiles and Wonwoo let him take the lead.

Once everyone had gathered around him, outside the office building, the coordinator, Paul, calmly began to explain the rules of the trip and gave safety instructions while Wonwoo listened with the others. Paul spoke with a clear voice that commanded the attention of everyone in the group, including the children.

"Good morning!" he said cheerfully. "I'm not going to fill the air with a lot of unnecessary chatter so I'm going to just get straight to the point," he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "We got about a two and a half miles hike in this trail through the woods," he said, pointing at a break in the trees next to the office.

"It's a flat trail with hardly any change in elevation until you get close to the lake but we won't be taking that route. Instead of taking the left fork, we're going to go right and head towards the river. There's a nice set up for tents, but also several a-frame tents on raised platforms with cots. Those who don't have tents or couldn't get one in time will sleep in the a-frames."

"Now, the skies look like they're going to open up on us, but hopefully not until we get to the campsite. Radar shows a storm heading this way so if for any reason we need to seek shelter, there are two cabins near the campsite as well as a storm shelter. Now, onto the rules," Paul continued.

"Our number one priority is safety. This is the woods, there are all kinds of critters and wildlife out here. We may see some, we may not, but no matter what, we must make sure to clean up after ourselves. I don't want to see a single wrapper or piece of trash on the ground. We throw our trash away and leave the place the way we found it." No one said anything as he continued.

"If you see something strange or suspicious, tell an adult. Do not keep things to yourself. Do not wander off alone. That includes going to the bathroom," he added as he looked around. "If you hurt yourself, tell an adult, we have three first aid kits, someone will help you. That's another thing, if you need help, speak up. Someone will help you with whatever you need help with," he finished.

"Everyone understand the rules?" Paul asked. There were murmurs and nods from the group. "Good, and now I believe Wonwoo has something to add?" Paul turned to Wonwoo, his turn to speak now over. The raven-haired man nodded and cleared his throat.

"The main purpose of this trip is to have fun," he said clearly, looking around at the children's faces along with their chaperones. His eyes found your face and they lingered for a moment, taking in the sparkle in your eyes. He forced himself to continue. 

"So long as we follow all the rules set out before us," he added with a gesture of his hand to the other trip organizers. "We should have a great time and this will be a trip for all of us to remember," he ended, feeling a little lame but the excitement on the kids' faces, including his own nephew, made it worth it. 

The coordinators started ushering people to get all their belongings and started leading the way into the woods, following the trail. Wonwoo motioned for Min-jun to follow the line and he walked quietly behind. Paul led the way into the woods, following the trail that was lined with fallen branches and the occasional stone.

He was right, the trail seemed highly used and was a very flat and easy grade. It continued straight for a few meters before gradually curving to the right. Min-jun had caught up with a friend of his and was chattering away with him while Wonwoo hung back and kept his eye on his nephew and his own feet.

It wasn't long before the group came to the fork Paul had mentioned and took the trail to the right, following the curved and winding path.

About 20 minutes into the hike, the group paused to give the kids a little rest. They were about halfway through the hike. Wonwoo took a sip from his water jug when he felt a tug at the base of his jacket and looked down. The small girl he'd seen earlier, the one in the pink raincoat. He smiled awkwardly down at her.

"Uh, hey," he said. "Are you Wonwoo?" she asked, her big brown eyes full of wonder. Wonwoo felt his ears go red. He had no idea why this little girl was staring up at him in such amazement.

"Uh, yeah," he said as he twisted the lid back onto his water jug and slid it into the side pouch on his backpack. "My sister told me about you," the little girl said, a big smile on her face.

His awkward smile turned into a grin and you couldn't help but admire how much he had matured and how handsome he'd become. "How are you?" you asked, hoping to avoid some of the tension that had started to settle around you. "Good, I've just been finishing my degree," he answered. "Your masters, right?" you asked. Wonwoo nodded. "Yeah, you remembered?" he asked.

"Sophie!" Wonwoo heard a voice and turned to find the source.

You hurried up to grab the little girl's hood. "Sorry," you said, a breathy laugh escaping you. "My little sister has a habit of talking to strangers," she said as she pulled Sophie closer to her. "We aren't exactly strangers though," Wonwoo said, referring to you. "Y/N, right?" He asked. You smiled, your cheeks heating up.

"Yeah, and you're Wonwoo," you replied.

You nodded, your smile widening. "Yeah! We talked about it briefly but I do remember that day pretty well," you said. It was true, you did remember that day very well, but not because of your conversation with Wonwoo. That was the day your life had changed forever but you mentally shook those thoughts away.

"Your sister?" Wonwoo asked.

"And what about you?" Wonwoo asked as everyone around them started gathering their things. "Are you out saving the world one endangered species at a time?" he added with a playful smile. Your smile faltered. You had chosen to go into wildlife conservation but situations arose and you had no choice but to step up and put your plans on hold. "Uh oh," Wonwoo said as the pair of you followed the group deeper into the trees. "Did I say something wrong?"

You shook your head. "No," you said reassuringly. "It's just a lot has changed," you added. You were about to ask him to change the subject when Sophie began pulling at your sleeve. "Can I go walk with Chelsea?" she asked, pointing a few paces ahead where a little girl with brown hair and a purple raincoat was walking with her mom and waving at Sophie. Chelsea was her best friend. You nodded and Sophie ran excitedly to catch up with her.

"Yes," you answered. "I just didn't talk about her very much," you added. "She was just a baby." Wonwoo nodded, feeling very silly about himself and his questions. "But I'm her legal guardian," you continued. You saw Wonwoo's eyes flash to look up at you. "You don't have to talk about it if it's too painful," he said softly. 

Wonwoo glanced up where he saw Sophie and then back at you. "Did you have a sister when we were in school?" he asked, trying to wrack his brain for a conversation about a sister. You smiled knowingly.

You shook your head. "It's okay," you replied. "It happens," you added. "Our parents were in an accident a couple years ago," you explained. "Our uncle was supposed to get guardianship of Sophie while I finished school, that was my parents plan." The wind picked up slightly, blowing through the trees, the leaves rustling.

With Sophie out of earshot, you started to explain. "Circumstances forced me to put my career on hold," you said softly to Wonwoo as you walked through the trees, bringing up the rear of the party.

"But I felt guilty," you continued. "I felt like if I didn't take Sophie that I was a horrible sister, so I spoke to my uncle. I tried to explain it to him but he said he was more than happy to take Sophie in. He wanted me to continue school. Finish my education. It's what my parents wanted. So I did, I finished getting my degree and certification. I was set to go to Australia to start conservation in the outback when I got the call," your voice broke as you explained.

"I'd love to see a kangaroo up close," he added. You let out a laugh. "You should come to the park some time," you replied. He chuckled in response before a comfortable silence fell between you. It was a moment before he spoke. The trees around you were teeming with bird calls, no doubt calling out to signify the coming storm.

"So Australia had to wait. I got a job at the zoological park working with the marsupials. It's a pretty easy job all things considered. And Sophie loves seeing the kangaroos and wombats up close," you added. Wonwoo smiled. "I'm kind of jealous," he responded. You glanced up at him, finding warmth in his expression.

"I lost my mom," Wonwoo said so softly you almost didn't hear over the chatter and laughter of the kids a few paces ahead. You turned to look at him, eyes wide. "What?" you asked quietly.

You breathed in a deep breath before continuing. "My uncle was sick." You heard Wonwoo sigh next to you. "I'm so sorry," he said softly. "We went through the courts to sign over guardianship of Sophie to me so he could focus on treatment," you spoke softly.

He nodded.

"She had been sick for a long time and her body finally just gave up," he added. "I'm so sorry, Wonwoo," you replied, reaching out and taking his hand gently in yours. "It's the worst kind of feeling," you added. "No one can tell you what it's like or how you feel," you continued. "At least she's at peace and no longer suffering."

Wonwoo returned your small smile and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze as the trees thinned out into a small clearing of sorts. The leaves covered the clearing. Extending from the trees to meet in the middle and provide a canopy of sorts.

The parents and children got to work setting up their tents. You and Wonwoo parted ways as you moved to help Sophie set up her sleeping bag in one of the a-frame tents. You hadn't been camping much before and didn't have a chance to buy a tent before the trip.

"Y/N?" you heard Sophie's little voice and you turned to your sister. "Can I sleep in Chelsea's tent?" she asked quietly. You smiled and nodded. "Of course, but you have to do what Chelsea's mom says, okay?" you said grabbing her sleeping bag and stepping out of the a-frame tent.

You followed Sophie to where Chelsea was helping her mom set up their tent. "Did you want to join us?" she asked. You thanked her but declined the offer. "I'll be okay in the a-frame," you replied. You turned to Sophie. "I'll be just over there, okay? So if you need anything, I'm only a few paces away," you explained, kneeling down to her level. She nodded and gave you a tight hug.

You sighed and started setting up your sleeping bag. "Need any help?" you heard a voice and turned to find Wonwoo peering into your tent. You shook your head. "Luckily I just have to unroll my sleeping bag," you chuckled. Wonwoo laughed and stepped into the cramped room. He was clearly much too tall for this space. "I could set up the bug net if you'd like," he offered. You smiled. "That would actually be great," you replied. 

As soon as the light entered, you saw several spiders scurry away and out of the tent. "Shoo!" you whispered, grabbing a cot pillow and shaking it at the remaining bugs who scurried away and out of sight.

He moved quickly to the edge of the tent and started fiddling with some ties and before a thick black mesh material fell down, covering the opened end of the tent. "These come with these magnets built in," he explained. "They're weighted so they stay closed when not held open." He moved to the other end and did the same thing before letting the tent flaps drop. "And if you keep the back of the tent closed, you're less likely to have animals sneak in here."

She moved to help Chelsea with the tent poles, the two giggling as they worked. You looked around and headed for the closest a-frame. It was at the edge of the clearing, closest to the treeline. You ducked inside and opened the flaps to let the light in.

You gave him a peculiar look. "It was scouts," he answered your unasked question. "I was maybe like 13 and I was sleeping in one of these tents. It was the middle of summer and we had the tent flaps open. I heard a sound and woke up in the middle of the night to see a raccoon hurry out of my tent carrying my bag of chips," he admitted and you couldn't stifle the laughter that bubbled up inside you. "He stole your snacks?" you asked and he nodded, laughing himself. "Yeah, my chips. I fell asleep while eating them."

Your laughter subsided and you glanced up at him. "Well, don't leave your chips out this time," you warned playfully. "Nope, no chips this time " he said, holding his hands up. "I'm going to go see if anyone else needs help," he said, looking over the camp. You stepped outside of your tent, pushing the net aside and just as Wonwoo said, the weights allowed it to fall back into place.

"Where are you set up?" you asked. "Right here, neighbor," he said pointing to a green two man tent. You could hear his nephew and friend inside chattering excitedly. "I'll be sure to ask you if I need a cup of sugar, neighbor," you teased with a smirk. "Don't be a stranger," he joked before moving to help another parent with their tent.

It didn't take long until all the tents were set up and sleeping bags unrolled. Paul called for everyone to gather. "We have plenty of food but we did bring fishing poles and we have permission to fish the river if we want to," he explained. "Does anyone want to partake?" he asked. Several kids were excited to go see the river and the fish. 

Min-jun asked Wonwoo if he could go with his friend and Wonwoo said as long as he listened to the adults. Sophie and Chelsea wanted to go to the river and hunt for frogs and crayfish so you saw no harm in sending Sophie with Chelsea's mom, whose name you learned was Rachel. Deciding to hang back at the campsite, you moved over to sit around the newly built fire pit. 

It was a nice warm reprieve from the chilly winds that graced the campsite from time to time. Overhead you could hear the soft pitter patter of raindrops and you were glad you sent Sophie in her rain gear to the river. Most of the parents went to help wrangle the children at the river, leaving only a few adults at the camp.

You heard a twig snap and glanced up to see Wonwoo emerging from his tent. He stretched and glanced over to the fire, his eyes meeting yours. He smiled and walked over to take a seat beside you. "Didn't want to go fishing?" he asked, a playful smile on his face as he raised one eyebrow. You shook your head.

"I don't really like fishing," you admitted. Wonwoo shook his head. "I'm not crazy about it either. Whenever my friends want to go, I'll do it but if I have a choice not to, I'll just hang back." You nodded in response, staring into the fire as a comfortable silence fell over you again. No one said anything before you heard one of the other parents get up. You continued to stare into the fire before you heard a huff. "I thought Jerry got firewood." You tore your gaze from the fire to where the parent that had gotten up was looking around.

"What's up, Sara?" Wonwoo asked, sitting up straight. She turned to look over. "I thought Jerry had gone to get firewood before going fishing but I can't find any," she said, hands on her hips. Wonwoo smiled and got to his feet. "I'll go get some," he said, moving to his tent and reaching inside to grab his coat. 

You got to your feet and grabbed your jacket from the back of your chair. "I'll help," you said as you pulled on your jacket. You zipped up your jacket and moved to Wonwoo’s tent. He pulled out his hat and put it on and turned to you. "Here," he said, handing you another hat. "I noticed you didn't have one earlier," he added.

You put the hat on and followed him into the woods. "So what am I looking for?" you asked. "Wood," he said, laughing. "Sticks, small branches, bark, anything that burns," he added. "It has to be dry though, which can be a challenge when it's raining," he said, nodding up towards the sky. You followed behind him, keeping an eye out for wood. You grabbed a few sticks, making sure they were dry as Wonwoo started collecting some sticks as well.

The two of you worked quickly, gathering up an armload each before heading back to the campsite. You dropped off your loads before heading back to gather more. Your hands were full of sticks when you reached down to grab a piece of wood sticking out from under another, wetter one when a small sharp pain surged through your finger up into your wrist.

“Shit!” You yelped and drew back, dropping your pile of sticks. Wonwoo dropped his pile and hurried over to your side. "What happened?" he asked as he reached you. Glancing down at your finger, you saw a large splinter sticking out of your finger. "Oh shit," Wonwoo said, taking your hand gingerly and inspecting the splinter. "That's in there pretty deep," he added. "You head back to camp."

"It's just a splinter," you reassured her. "Did you find any frogs?" you asked, trying to distract her as Wonwoo started inspecting the splinter a bit closer. He opened the kit and took out an alcohol pad and the tweezers. You watched as he sterilized the tips of the tweezers and took your finger gently but firmly. 

You sat back down in your previous seat as Wonwoo returned to your side, a first aid kit in his hands. He knelt down between you and the fire as Sophie came running over. She saw the first aid kit and immediately started crying. "What happened, Y/N?" you heard her asked. You smiled.

You turned to Sophie quickly. "So did you catch any frogs?" you asked. Sophie shook her head but spoke up. "No, but we found a lot of crayfish," she answered. "Did you catch them?" you asked, wanting to keep her attention on the conversation and not the splinter sticking out of your skin. Sophie nodded. "How many did you catch?" you asked her. "I caught four and Chelsea caught three!" she said excitedly. "Wow! Four?" you asked, mirroring her excitement. "That's amazing, Soph!"

"I'll get the wood," he added as you turned to make your way back. You stepped out of the trees as the fishing group was returning to camp. Wonwoo followed behind you, moving quickly to drop off the wood before disappearing inside his tent.

Wonwoo smiled, knowing you were trying to distract Sophie but also yourself as he took his time to remove the splinter. He held your hand firmly, but gently in his own and carefully used the tweezers to grasp the tip of the splinter. Once he was sure he had a good grip on it, he pulled it out in the same direction it entered your skin.

The piece of wood came out cleanly and you either had a high pain tolerance or it wasn't even painful because Wonwoo didn't see you flinch at all. He wrapped the splinter in a tissue and threw it away before using another alcohol pad to clean your finger before wrapping a bandage around it. "You're done," he said, as he put away the supplies in the first aid kit. You smiled at Sophie. "See?" you said showing her your bandaged finger. "It didn't even hurt."

Excitement around the camp started buzzing as a few of the adults prepared the fish and crayfish for cooking. Wonwoo had taken his seat beside you once more while Sophie and Chelsea played with a folded piece of paper. Wonwoo hadn't seen one of those since he was a child. The girls used to play with them all the time.

"Y/N," Sophie said suddenly, drawing both yours and Wonwoo's attention. She hurried over, holding out the folded piece of paper. "Pick a color!" she said, beaming at you.

Smiling back, you glanced down at the options. "Hmmm… how about red?" you answered. Sophie opened and closed the paper in a pattern as she spelled out the color you chose. She then held out the paper for you to see. "Okay, now pick a number!" You glanced down to see four numbers exposed. "I'll pick eight," you replied.

"I told you to stop reading those teenage magazines!" you laughed half-heartedly and settled back into your seat. You glanced up at Wonwoo and smiled sheepishly. His expression was warm but other than that, he was completely unreadable. You turned your attention back to the fire, watching it dance as the flames licked the wood.

"You will meet a tall dark stranger who will bring excitement and mystery to your life," Sophie read aloud. Your eyes widened before you reached to grab at the fortune teller but Sophie pulled away and ran away giggling with Chelsea.

Soon, the fish and crayfish were prepared and the other adults started cooking dinner. You took another sip of your water before you felt a nudge. Wonwoo was standing behind you, holding out a cold can of beer. You smiled and took it, thanking him as he sat down beside you. You popped the top at the same time he did and tapped your cans together in silent cheers before taking a sip.

Sophie repeated the motions, this time counting to eight. She held out the fortune teller for you to pick another number. This time you chose four and watched as Sophie opened the paper and read out the fortune.

It had been a long time since you drank. Longer than you could remember. It was nice to let loose for once knowing that Sophie was surrounded by friends and much more alert adults. You watched as Sophie and Chelsea continued to play with their origami fortune teller and smiled when Sophie read out Chelsea's fortune.

"Something on your mind?" you heard Wonwoo ask and turned to look at him. His eyes were full of concern but the smile on his face was still warm and genuine. You shook your head. "Nothing bad. I'm just glad Sophie can play with her friends and I finally have a chance to relax," you said softly before taking another sip.

Wonwoo’s smile widened. "I can't imagine being responsible for a child full time," he answered quietly. "I'm only responsible for Min-jun when my sister and her husband are busy. So it's only sometimes. If I was his sole guardian, I don't know if I'd be up to the task," he added.

"It's not easy, that's for sure," you replied. "You have to make decisions based on them. Your life comes second to theirs," you added. Wonwoo's smile fell. "I don't think that's entirely true," he stated, taking another sip as you turned to look at him.

A smile spread across Wonwoo’s face and you couldn't help but return it. The setting sun behind the trees cast shadows upon the camp and on him but the light of the fire danced in his face and you were reminded of your time together in college and how handsome you thought he was back then. He was just as handsome now.

"Sure, you can't make any huge decisions for yourself without first thinking about how it could affect Sophie, but who knows, maybe when she's a little bit older, she might like the idea of moving to Australia."

Before you could say anything, dinner was announced and everyone settled down to eat. It was a nice home-cooked meal. Something you and Sophie hadn't had in a long time. You tried your best but you had not inherited your mother's cooking skills. After dinner, dessert was brought out. Cookies, brownies and a little ice cream as well. Once everyone's bellies were full of good food, the stories began.

"I know my sister and her husband have sacrificed a lot for Min-jun, but they would never say that their lives came second to his. You're allowed to do what you want, or have what you want. Within reason, of course," Wonwoo said, turning to look at you.

You'd never been camping before so you were unfamiliar with campfire stories. The adults took turns telling stories, some laced with the paranormal, and others just a case of mistaken identity. Some of the kids even attempted to tell their own hair raising stories but despite having the imagination, they lacked the story telling abilities so their stories fell a little flat. You noticed Min-jun tugging on Wonwoo’s arm and how the older male tried to shush him.

"Who's next?" Paul asked, taking a sip of his own beer. Min-jun tried to get Wonwoo to speak up but he refused until Paul called out. "Got a story to share, Wonwoo?" The raven haired male glanced over, eye wide. "Uh, it's just a story I used to tell my friends when we went camping," he said, shaking his head. Paul smiled and gestured around the circle. "Do share," he said.

You noticed how Min-jun immediately turned to watch his uncle, excited to hear the story and you'd be lying if you said you were a little bit intrigued by the child's response. You gave Wonwoo an encouraging smile and nodded, wanting to hear his story. He took a deep breath before beginning.

"This is the story of a boy. A boy named Sang-woo," he spoke in a clear and calm voice. "Sang-woo was the son of a very wealthy family and they lived in a large, historic, and very old manor. He was a peculiar child, keeping mostly to himself. He did, however, have one friend. A young girl that lived nearby in the same village. This young girl's name was Evelyn. Now, Evelyn was a couple years older than Sang-woo, but it didn't stop the two from playing together when she came over. Their favorite game to play was hide-and-seek," Wonwoo continued. You glanced around and saw that everyone was hanging onto his every word.

"Well, one day, on Sang-woo's eighth birthday, Evelyn was over playing, like she had in the past, but there were plenty of other people over to celebrate the birthday boy's special day. And so, while everyone else was outside, the children playing, the adults mingling, Sang-woo and Evelyn were inside, playing as they usually did. Suddenly, something happened, something no one expected."

Everyone was silent except for one child. "What happened?" asked one of the boys. Wonwoo smiled a knowing smile. "Evelyn vanished," he said quietly, ignoring the few gasps that sounded out around the fire. "Vanished? How does a girl just vanish?" Asked another boy before his mother shushed him. "Let Wonwoo finish the story," she said. Everyone fell silent again.

"The police were called to investigate but when they arrived at the manor, a fire had started. A fire that killed Sang-woo. His parents were devastated," Wonwoo continued. "What happened after his death?" Sophie asked quietly from her spot next to Chelsea. Wonwoo smiled again. "This story is far from over," he replied.

"We're just getting started."

You listened as he continued, telling a tale about a nanny, hired to take care of a child but instead finds a doll she is charged with. The couple then leaves and never returns. The nanny takes care of the doll and notices odd, even paranormal things happening around the house. You watched as Min-jun stared in awe as his uncle told the story. You were aware Min-jun had probably heard this story before but just to see how much he adored and looked up to Wonwoo was heartwarming. It made you appreciate the man even more.

The story reached its climax when Wonwoo told how the doll was never possessed and that it was actually the boy, Sang-woo, who had survived the fire but lived in the walls for 20 years. When the story was over, the children were visibly shaken up and the parents were glancing around nervously. "It's not a true story," one of the kids asked. A little girl with brown pigtails and glasses. "Right?"

Wonwoo gave her a kind smile. "No," he answered, shaking his head. "It's just a story," he said reassuringly. There were soft murmurs and sighs of relief. "Well, I think it's time for bed," Paul said as he got to his feet. "Come on, kiddos. Let's all get ready for bed." Wonwoo sat back as the kids got up and started to move to their tents to get changed. You however stayed in your seat.

"You know," you said softly, catching Wonwoo's attention. "I seem to recall that story you told," you continued. His smile widened. "Oh?" he asked. "But from what I recall," you said, making sure to keep your voice down. "The boy's name was Brahms. Not Sang-woo," you said, fighting the urge to smirk. Wonwoo’s smile broke into a chuckle. "You caught me," he replied.

"Sophie's never seen that movie, so I imagine she's probably freaked out," you said, a hint of amusement in your voice. "You have to admit, that was one hell of a twist," Wonwoo stated in a low tone. You nodded. "That's for damn sure."

Sophie and Chelsea came out of their tent and hurried over. "Mr. Wonwoo?" Sophie asked. You turned to see the pair standing near his chair. "That story you told. Are you sure it's just a story?" Sophie asked, eyes wide and clearly unnerved. "Yeah, cause Alphie said it's a true story," Chelsea added, looking just as freaked out. Wonwoo smiled and sat up. "Girls, I promise it's just a story. It's not even my story. I got it from a movie," he said reassuringly.

You smiled calmly. "Imagine the surprise when one year later, the world was terrified when they all returned pregnant," you ended your story. Wonwoo's eyes widened before he let out a laugh. "Oh that's unsettling," he said, still laughing. "Two sentence horror stories are my favorite," you replied, still smiling. "Tell me another," Wonwoo said, his eyes twinkling. You looked around, trying to think up another. "Okay, this one isn't mine, but my friend told me how her four-year-old said he wished that people didn't have to knock. She told him about doorbells, and he asked her to install one on his window." You saw Wonwoo visibly shiver. "That's freaky," he said with a nervous chuckle. "Got any more?" he asked.

"Tell me," Wonwoo said, leaning toward you in his chair. You smiled and looked down. "Did you know the world will be thrilled with the announcement that the first mission to Mars would be an all-female crew?" you asked. Wonwoo cocked his head, confusion on his face before he shook his head.

It went on like that for a while, the two of you swapping two sentence horror stories by the fire. After a while, it was soon only the two of you as well as Paul and another father sitting around the fire. You finished what was probably your third or fourth beer. "I think I'm going to go to bed," you murmured as you stood up. "I'll see you in the morning," you added to Wonwoo. "Goodnight."

Chelsea and Sophie turned away and ran towards their tent calling out and telling Alphie that he's a liar. Wonwoo chuckled and you couldn't help but join in. "Do you have any scary stories?" Wonwoo asked and you looked back at him. "I can think of a few," you answered, nodding your head.

Wonwoo watched as you stumbled off toward your a-frame tent. "Goodnight," he murmured. He turned toward the fire, watching the flames dance lightly. He took another sip of his beer and found it empty. "I think I'm going to go to sleep as well," he announced, getting to his feet. "Do you need any help cleaning up?" he asked. Paul shook his head. "Nah. Jerry and I will make sure this is fully out before we head off to sleep," Paul said, nodding towards the fire.

Wonwoo nodded his head and bid the men goodnight before moving to his tent.

Min-jun and his friend, Calvin, were already in their sleeping bags, chatting softly about the scary campfire stories as Wonwoo sat to remove his shoes. He’d already changed earlier into his pajama pants and simply pulled off his sweater, sporting a plain white tee underneath. He shuffled about, slipping into his sleeping bag before turning to the boys.

“Lights off in five minutes, okay?” He said to which both boys nodded and went back to chatting quietly. Wonwoo fished his phone out of his jacket pocket and unlocked the screen. He scrolled through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for, a small smile appearing on his face.

You had already untied the strings holding open the flaps of your tent and let them fall, throwing your tent into darkness before settling into your sleeping bag atop one of the cots which creaked slightly as you got comfortable. You closed your eyes and let out a sigh, listening to the sound of the rain pattering the trees outside.

[flashback within a flashback. Flashback-ception if you will]

You sat up with a start, looking around the dark room. Your friend, Celia, was fast asleep in her twin bed across the room from yours. Looking around for the source that disturbed your slumber, you paused, hearing a low rumble, accompanied with a flashing coming from the windows and you rolled your eyes, falling back onto the mattress. ‘A storm? Really?’ You groaned softly. 

Whereas most people found storms helped them sleep better, you were the opposite. The thunder was not your lullaby. You couldn’t sleep when it stormed and you hated that. You wished you were one of those people who passed out and slept through a storm like a baby but as long as you could remember, thunderstorms always prevented you from relaxing.

The sound brought back a distant memory from your time in college when you went “camping” with your friends. They called it camping but no tents were involved. They had rented a cabin in the woods and despite the cliché, no one died that night. There was a storm however and unfortunately for you, the loud claps of thunder woke you and you were unable to fall back asleep.

Seeing as you probably wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon, you decided to grab the book you were currently engrossed in and head down into the den to read it and not risk disturbing your roommate. Grabbing your warm cardigan and slipping it on, you grabbed the book from your nightstand and carefully opened the door and stepped out into the hall, shutting the door as silently as you could. You heard the sound of the fire crackling downstairs and walked over to the railing that looked over the entire downstairs.

Someone was sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, a book in their hands as well. It seems you would not be alone in your solitude tonight. You approached the stairs and carefully descended, hoping not to disturb the person on the sofa. Luck, however, was not on your side. Two steps from the bottom, the wooden stair creaked and you mentally cursed the craftsmanship of the cabin. The person turned to look in your direction and you were surprised to see it was Wonwoo.

Of course he was there. He’d been there the whole time. Spending this as a weekend getaway with his girlfriend, Lily. You smiled sheepishly and mumbled an apology. Wonwoo shook his head, a smile on his own face. “Don’t worry about it. This cabin is pretty old,” he said as you walked over to where he sat. “Can’t sleep?” He asked to which you shook your head. He nodded at the empty spot next to him and you took a seat, settling into the cushions.

“Storms always prevent me from sleeping,” you admitted. Wonwoo nodded, seemingly understanding what you meant. “It’s the same for me,” he answered. “Lily however,” he added, looking up in the general direction of the room he shared with his girlfriend. “As soon as the first raindrop hits the roof, she’s out,” he continued. You looked away from his face, trying not to think about how handsome he looked in the glow of the fire, or the way his thick round framed glasses sat on his perfect nose.

Instead you decided to open your book to the page you bookmark was currently residing and pick up where you left off. Wonwoo glanced at the book in your hands and smiled. “That’s a good one,” he said softly, causing you to look up at him. “I read it last year,” he said, answering your unasked question. “It was for a class but Ireally enjoyed it,” he continued, looking back down at his own book. You chose not to say anything because what could you say?

One of the few things you did know about Wonwoo was his love of books and reading. Which made it all the more confusing when Lily announced she and Wonwoo were dating. Lily was more of a party girl. She loved going out and attending concerts, parties, and the like. She preferred drinking over reading so it never made sense to you how she managed to land a guy like Wonwoo when you’d only ever seen him at a party once freshman year and it was only because his best friend, Joshua, made him go.

“What part are you at?” Wonwoo asked, drawing you from your thoughts. You glanced down at your book. What part were you on? Your brain had suddenly gone blank. ‘Uh,” you said, flipping back a couple pages, eyes scanning the paper quickly. “The part where the reporter shows up to ask Gatsby for a quote,” you answered. “Chapter six,” you added, looking up at Wonwoo. 

The smile on his face was unmistakable. “What do you think of it so far?” He asked, marking his place in his own book as to not lose it. “It’s pretty good,” you answered truthfully. “And I can kind of see the hype surrounding it,” you added. “But it’s not Cloud Atlas,” you continued, turning to look at him once again. The smile on his face spread even wider as he looked down at the book in his lap, the cover reading exactly that. Cloud Atlas.

“Have you read it before?” You asked, drawing his gaze again. He nodded. “Several times,” he admitted softly. “I keep coming back to it,” he continued. “Have you read it?” He asked suddenly and you shook your head. “Not yet,” you answered truthfully, again. “I want to, but this was on my list first,” you added, holding up the book in your hands. Wonwoo nodded wordlessly as you returned to your reading. 

“Well, here,” he said, taking the bookmark out of his book and closing it before holding it out. You looked from the book to his face. “Are you sure?” You asked quietly. He nodded, smiling still. “I have another book upstairs and I’ve read this more times than I can count. Just don’t fold my pages,” he added, giving you a playfully stern look. You took the book carefully from him. “Of course not,” you answered. “I only dog-ear my own books,” you continued. “I’m gonna try and get some sleep,” Wonwoo said as he stood up. “Don’t stay up too late,” he added, patting the top of your head before moving to the base of the stairs.

“Wonwoo,” you called out suddenly, leaning forward. He turned to look over his shoulder at you. “Thank you,” you said, giving him a kind smile which he returned. “You’re welcome, Y/N. I‘m serious though,” he replied. “Try to get some sleep.”

Wonwoo - Lily’s bf: hey. Sorry if this seems random but is this still Y/N’s number?

[end of flashback-ception]

You: no??? Who is this?

Biting your bottom lip as you fought the urge to smile, you quickly edited his contact name, leaving it simply as Wonwoo before shooting a text back.

Wonwoo: oh. Sorry. This number used to belong to a classmate of mine. So sorry to have bothered you

You: i’m just messing with you lol

The sudden vibrating of your phone caught you off guard and caused you to sit up quickly to grab your jacket, pulling the device out of your pocket and checking the notification. 

Wonwoo: that was mean )):

You: aww i’m sowwy ):

You: what’s up?

You held in a chuckle as you watched the typing indicator appear.

Wonwoo: -_- never mind i’m going to bed

You: awww no come back ):

Wonwoo: no

You: ahaha don’t go ur so sexci

You heard a very loud snort come from outside your tent, no doubt Wonwoo trying not to laugh.

Wonwoo: when did you go all fuckboy???

You: wouldn’t u like to know ;)

Wonwoo: now i’m sure this isn’t Y/N

You: would a picture prove it?

Wonwoo: mmmmaybe??

You pulled your phone back and snapped a quick selfie, glad you had a bright camping lantern set on the empty cot to light the space. You sent the picture and waited for a response.

Wonwoo: hmmm. I’m not sure if I believe you just yet. Send me another 👀 

You: so demanding 🙄 

Wonwoo: i wanna make sure I’m not getting catfished ):<

You: hey we had that for dinner!

Wonwoo: …no we didn’t???

You: well, we had some kind of fish

Wonwoo: well catfish don’t live in rivers

You: okay I may not know anything about fishing but even i know that catfish live in rivers

Wonwoo: …wait, they do???

You: 😂 yes!!! They live in rivers AND lakes!!

Wonwoo: well i feel sheepish 🐑 

Wonwoo: baaaa

You let a small giggle slip out before typing a response.

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, contemplating. ‘Oh fuck it,’ you thought to yourself as you readjusted your shirt, showing off the tiny shorts you were currently wearing and snapped another photo, angling the camera just enough to give a small peek at the black material and the exposed tops of your thighs.

You: do you believe me now???

Wonwoo: no. Not until you send me another picture ;)

You sent the photo and waited for his response. You could see he was typing but then it would stop and start again and then stop. Your heart beat erratically in your chest as you waited for his reply.

Finally it came.

Wonwoo: fuck. Did you do that on purpose??

Seeing the pet name on your screen and knowing he meant you made you clench your thighs. ‘Shit.’

You: do what? 😌

Wonwoo: oh no. We’re not playing this game.

Wonwoo: answer me carefully babygirl

Wonwoo: was that too forward??

Wonwoo: Did you send that picture on purpose??

You: no. Not at all. It just caught me off guard

Wonwoo: good, then i hope this isn’t too forward

Wonwoo: what’s the matter baby? Cat got your tongue?

You: no, but something else might if you keep calling me baby

Was it bold? Sure. Did you regret sending it? No.

Your brows furrowed as you read his text, confused as to what he meant until a picture came through and your cheeks burned. It was a picture he had to have just taken. It was from inside his tent where you could see the outline of his obvious erection through his pajama pants. “Oh shit,” you whispered to yourself.

Not when moments later, you heard the sound of a tent zipper opening and closing, followed by light footsteps over the fallen leaves and twigs until the steps stopped right outside your tent. You had half a mind to get up and meet him but the sound of a voice made you halt just as you sat up.

“Wonwoo?” It was Jerry. “Everything okay?”

You heard Wonwoo’s voice come out surprisingly calm.

“Yeah. Just doing some rounds. I know some of the kids were freaked out earlier after the stories so I just want to make sure everyone is okay,” he replied. You couldn’t see Jerry but judging by his tone, he seemed to believe Wonwoo’s lie. “You really got them good,” he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Have a good night,” he added and you could hear his footsteps fade away.

With Jerry no longer watching, you waited with baited breath until one of the flaps opened and Wonwoo peered in.

“Are you scared?” he asked quietly, keeping up the façade.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “No, but I might be if I stay in here alone,” you said teasingly. Wonwoo pushed aside the mesh blocking the way in and stepped inside the cramped space. “Maybe I had better stay here then,” he replied, moving your lantern to sit on the cot opposite you.

With the limited light in the space, you could still see his cheeks burn pink. “Ahh, I’ll just go find the bathhouse,” he admitted, bringing up at hand to rub the back of his neck.

“Why go to the bathroom to take care of it when I’m right here?” You asked, drawing his gaze back to yours. His eyes were wide behind those same thick round framed glasses that he wore the night you talked about books. Without a word, you slid off your cot to the wooden floor and crossed the short distance between the two of you.

“Are you sure you’re not scared?” Wonwoo asked, eyes meeting your gaze. “I don’t need to stay, do I?” he continued when you shook your head. You glanced from his face to his pants and back. “You sure you wanna go back to your tent with that?” You asked, nodding towards his very prominent erection. 

Wonwoo watched as you reached him, hands coming up to settle on his knees as you gently pushed his legs apart so you fit between them. His eyes never left your face as you looked up at him, lips parted slightly as your hands moved slowly over the flannel fabric of his pajama pants. 

‘No way this is happening,’ he told himself as he watched your hands move in his periphery. He had to bite his lip to keep from let out a hiss as you pressed your palm against him, feeling him through the thick material.

You shook your head and resumed messing with the ties of his pants before the knot came loose. Your hands moved, fingers slipping beneath the waistband of his pants and underwear and tugging them down enough for his length to spring free and stand proudly.

“Holy fuck,” you cursed, eyeing him up. He was a lot bigger than you expected but that wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Hopefully.

“Just two pictures and you’re already this hard?” You murmured, fingers fumbling with the ties of his pants. “Your flirting helped,” Wonwoo argued. You clicked your tongue. “We talked about fish,” you replied, looking up at him. “Well, yeah, but that’s not all,” he mumbled. 

Amused by your reaction, Wonwoo brought a hand up and gently petted your hair. “Something the matter, baby?” He asked, his deep voice laced with lust. “Just one unexpected thing after another with you, Jeon Wonwoo,” you replied before spitting in your hand and wrapping your fingers around the base of his cock.

“Jeez, someone’s —“ he began but before he could finish his sentence, you’d given the tip a slow, deliberate lick, glancing up through your lashes at him. Through half opened lids, he looked down at you with a darkened gaze. 

“Tease me again and I’ll fuck that pretty little mouth of yours,” he said, his voice much heavier than before. You smirked up at him. “At least let me get your dick wet first,” you replied. 

Whatever snide remark he was about to make fell short because when his lips parted, it was to let out the hottest moan you’d ever heard a guy make as you took him in your mouth, sinking as far as you dared to go. 

As you pulled back slowly, hollowing your cheeks, you pulled off him with a soft pop and he let out a growl. “Do it again,” he said breathlessly. You complied, repeating the same action again only instead of pulling him out of your mouth, you sank right back down, setting a slow but steady rhythm.

One of his hands laid on the cot, supporting his weight while the other was combing through your hair gently, brushing back any that got in his way of seeing your face. His eyes fluttered shut, a low moan sounding from the back of his throat as your head bobbed up and down, the head of his cock barely reaching the back of your throat each time you sank down on him. 

“Come on baby,” he moaned. “I know you can take more.”

As if to prove him right, you did just that, taking more of him in your mouth and trying, and failing, not to gag as the tip of his length brushed against the back of your throat. The lewd sound coming from your mouth as you gagged around his cock had his hips moving of their own accord and he thrust harshly into your mouth, making you gag again. 

The hand on your head didn’t let you move as he thrust again. “Just a bit more,” he whined, thrusting again, enjoying the way the back of your throat constricted when you gagged around the head of his dick.

“God, I just wanna fuck your throat,” he groaned, gently but firmly pushing your head down and forcing you to take even more of his cock in your mouth until he felt it slip into your throat. Letting out a deep moan as he threw his head back, Wonwoo held your head in place until you tapped his thigh urgently. 

Your lungs were practically screaming for air.

His fingers curled into your hair and pulled you off him quickly, watching as you coughed, chest heaving with labored breaths as air filled your lungs, burning. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked softly, fingers loosening in your locks. You shook your head as your coughing subsided.

Looking up at him, you could see the flush in his face and the excited look in his eyes. You nodded, parting your lips and allowing him back into your mouth. 

“Good,” Wonwoo said before guiding your mouth back to his cock. “Can I try again?” He asked, the tip of his dick pressing gently against your lips. 

“Tap out if you need me to stop,” he said before holding your head steady, thrusting carefully into your mouth again.

Each time the head of his cock hit the back of your throat, a lewd wet sound accompanied it. “Keep your mouth open,” Wonwoo said with a pant. 

“Just like that, good girl.” 

His thrusts grew in strength as he tested what you could handle. 

“Open wide, babygirl,” he instructed, forcing your head down again when you did so. His cock pushed back into your throat and you gagged not only once, but twice, each time the constricting squeezing him so deliciously that he could have cum right then but he didn’t want the show to end so soon.

Denying himself his orgasm, Wonwoo pulled you off him quickly with a hiss. He liked the way you looked. Eyes watering, tear stained cheeks flushed from the lack of air, lips red and slick with your spit and his precum, and the thin string of spit that connected your lips to his cock. Seeing you like this made him want to completely ruin you. And he was going. He was going to completely and utterly ruin you.

Without speaking, he slid off the cot and reached over to grab your sleeping bag. You watched as he pulled the fabric from the cot and to the wooden floor. Before you had time to ask what he was doing, he already had you pushed onto your back, hands sliding up your naked thighs until he grabbed the waistband of your shorts and pulled them down quickly, leaving you in your light pink panties.

Using your mouth as his personal fleshlight definitely had a profound effect on you because he could see a small wet patch on your panties, a spot where the material was darker than the rest and it made him smirk as his eyes traveled up to meet your gaze. 

“I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already soaked, baby doll,” he practically moaned, fingers rubbing against your wet panties teasingly. “I bet I’d slip right in right now if I tried,” he said with a scoff. Your cheeks burned under his gaze.

“Wonwoo I—“ you started but let out a gasp when he slapped his hand against your wet core quickly. “I didn’t say you could speak, now did I?” He asked curtly. 

You shook your head, watching him. The tone and the way he gazed at you sent even more heat coursing through your body and between your thighs. You wanted him. His fingers, his tongue, his cock, anything to give you some sort of friction.

“Now, since you were so good to me,” he said softly, fingers rubbing torturously slowly against you through your panties. “I’ll be good to you,” he continued, pressing his fingers and the wet fabric of your panties past your folds and against your clit. 

You let out a sharp gasp, legs spreading involuntarily at his touch, making him chuckle.

“So eager,” he murmured, his free hand grabbing your calf and positioning one of your legs over his shoulder as he continued to touch you through your underwear. 

“God, I can’t wait to fuck you,” he groaned, pressing the fabric harder against your clit. “Then don’t,” you whispered. Wonwoo let out another chuckle. “I’m going to take my time with this,” he replied. 

“Take my time with you, princess,” he added.

Your lips parted, a soft moan slipping out as he moved his fingers in a slow circle, coating them in your arousal through your soaked underwear. “Should I take these off?” He wondered aloud. You nodded quickly. “Yes please,” you breathed. “Hmmm. Maybe I should make you beg,” he replied.

“Oh, I’m going to enjoy this,” he mumbled as he kissed his way further down the inside of your thigh until you felt his lips and tongue against your pussy through your wet panties. 

“Wonwoo,” you whined as he tasted you through the fabric. “God you taste even better than I imagined,” you heard him groan. 

“Wonwoo, please,” you immediately pleaded, earning another low chuckle from him. “We’ll see,” you heard him mutter before you lost contact with his fingers. You lifted your head off the sleeping bag to protest but your voice faltered as Wonwoo lowered himself down, kissing down the inside of your legs, stopping to bite into the soft flesh of your thigh. You let out a whimper as he suckled on the skin. 

“Imagined?” You asked, lifting your head to look at him. “You’ve imagined this?” You asked softly, hand moving to card through his dark locks.

His gaze met yours as his tongue moved against you, giving you enough friction but still kept you wanting more. “I’m not ashamed to admit it,” he answered. “I’ve thought about this more than I should have in the past.” 

Your back arched off the cheap fabric of your sleeping bag as his tongue resumed its previous ministrations. “You’ve thought about me?” You asked again. Wonwoo nodded, pulling back and with it, pulling your panties down your thighs.

“Yes I’ve thought about you but we’ll talk about that later. Right now, I wanna taste you,” he said and without another word, he buried his face between your thighs, tongue ravishing your clit with quick flicks. 

Your hand in his hair tightened, pulling slightly on his tresses as he ate you out. You brought your free hand up to your mouth, biting down on your hand to keep from making too much noise.

“Don’t be shy,” he said in a low voice. “Let me hear you.” You let out a particularly loud moan when he sucked on your clit. “Fuck you sound so good,” he said, lips brushing against you as he spoke. Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt his fingers circling your entrance, teasing you slowly.

“Please don’t tease me anymore,” you whimpered. “I didn’t tease you.” Wonwoo chuckled lightly, removing his fingers from your heat, making you whine as he pulled back further. “What are you doing?” You hissed but your frustration was short lived as you felt his lips on your stomach, hand pushing your shirt up as he left a trail of wet kisses up your torso, stopping just below your chest.

He was now nearly lying on top of you, lips pressed against your neck as he kissed his way up to your cheek. “Wonwoo, please,” you whispered, hips moving to meet his. 

“You’re so impatient,” he murmured, lips ghosting over yours. “You said you’d be good to me,” you countered and were met with a short, chaste kiss.

“I did, didn’t I?” He mumbled, smiling against your lips. 

Your hands moved, reaching up to caress his cheek. “You did,” you replied. Wonwoo sat up, hands moving to grab ahold of the hem of your shirt and pull it up. You sat up, allowing him to pull it off you and toss it aside, leaving you completely bare before him.

His eyes swept over your body, taking in every detail. “Have I ever told you how stunning you are?” He asked softly, causing a flush to grace your cheeks. “Stop it,” you whispered, lowering your gaze as he pulled off his own shirt before quickly ridding himself of his pants and underwear.

He reached out to take your hand. “Come here,” he said quietly, gently tugging you towards him until you were straddling his lap, your wet core hovering over his crotch. Your eyes never left his face as you moved, his own eyes searching your gaze as you lowered yourself, the tip of his cock meeting your entrance but not going in as you paused.

“You do want this, right?” he asked softly, eyes still searching your face for any apprehension but found none. 

Wordlessly, you nodded, eyes still watching his face. “Say it,” Wonwoo said, his voice soft and low. He wasn’t going to proceed until you spoke. Until you told him, out loud, that you wanted this. That you wanted him. 

“I want it,” you whispered. A smile spread across Wonwoo’s face at your admission as his hands moved to your hips, guiding your movements. “I want to try something,” he said, holding your hips in place. You cocked your head in curiosity. ‘What could he possibly mean?’

He somehow must have known what you were thinking and he spoke before you could voice your thoughts. “Have you ever tried cockwarming?” He asked, earning a wide eye stare from you. Your cheeks burned again for what felt like the hundredth time since he entered your tent. 

“Uh… no. I know what it is but I’ve never been with someone who wanted to do it,” you admitted.

You weren’t wrong. You did know what it was and how it was done but none of the guys you’d been with wanted to try it. They were more concerned about the sex than the intimacy of it. To you, cockwarming was as inherently intimate as it was sexual.

“Well, do you want to try it?” Wonwoo’s deep voice brought you out of your thoughts and you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth briefly as you contemplated it. When would you have another chance to try this? It seemed it was now or never and you decided that you’d already come this far. ‘Why not?’

“Okay,” you finally said with a nod. “But we will—?” You started to ask but Wonwoo cut you off with a kiss. “Yes,” he said, answering yet another unasked question. “We will have sex, I just really want to try this first,” he added.

You nodded, looking down briefly before your eyes met his gaze again. 

“Let’s try.”

You placed your hands on his shoulders and watched the way his eyes fluttered shut as you slowly sank down on his length, feeling him stretch you, filling your warm walls. Your grip on his shoulders tightened as you involuntarily clenched around him, earning a moan from him. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, dropping his head and burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Wonwoo,” you breathed his name, trying to move your hips as a force of habit but he dug his fingers into the skin of your hips, holding you in place. “No,” he groaned. “Stay still,” he said.

You let out a breathy whine, kissing him. “I can’t hold still,” you admitted. “Not when your cock feels so fucking good,” you added, moving to comb your fingers through his dark hair, fingertips brushing against the sweat that was starting to form along his hairline. 

Hearing you compliment his cock made his cheeks burn, not from embarrassment but from pride. He’d always been confident in his body and his abilities but for some reason, hearing you praise him just stroked his ego a little more.

“Just be patient, baby,” he chuckled, his words muffled as you kissed him again, hands cupping his face as you leaned in to deepen the kiss. You let out a moan as his lips parted yours, tongue wandering in to explore. He was a much better kisser than you remembered Lily saying. Hell, if you had been with him back in college, you’d never have let him go but he and Lily were just so different. 

But you and Wonwoo? You were so similar. Introverted, bookish, preferring the comforts of home rather than going out partying or clubbing. Though you weren’t boring by any means and neither was he. How could he be boring? He was the most interesting person you’d ever met.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a little bit of a crush on him back in college but of course you would have never dreamed of acting on it because he was already with Lily when you met him but you were much more shy back then. It wasn’t until your third year of college when you really blossomed and came out of your shell.

Something he’d noticed. Though by then he and Lily had broken up, you still shared a friend group. And though you only saw each other in passing or in group settings, he noticed how much more confident you’d become since he first met you. He realized that was when he had developed feelings for you but he was much too shy to make a move, especially when you were so far out of his league.

Or so he thought. 

The universe must be making up for lost time, allowing the two of you to meet like this years later and though he was sure he didn’t want to let you go, he knew that after tonight, he would probably never see you again, so he wanted to take advantage of every moment he got to spend with you. He took his time with you, trailing kisses down your neck to your shoulder.

You wanted desperately to move, to feel his cock thrusting into you, yet he made no attempt to move. It felt incredible, having him inside you but you wanted more. No, you needed more. Tilting your head back to allow him more access to your neck, you let out a moan as you arched your back. You felt his nails dig into your skin, leaving tiny crescents in their wake. Your walls clenched again, squeezing him tightly.

“Y/N,” you heard him gasp. “Please,” he begged. “Try to be still,” he added. You let out another impatient whimper. “Wonwoo, I need more,” you begged softly. “Please.” His resolve was weakening as you became more and more impatient and begged him to move. Begged him for something. Holding your hips tightly, he guided your hips over his. You let out a gasp at the feeling, arms tightening around his neck. “F-fuck,” you whimpered as you followed his movements, hips continuing at his pace.

Wonwoo groaned into your neck, enjoying the feeling of his member deep inside your walls. “God you feel so good,” he murmured, lips against your skin. You moaned in response, your voice raising a few octaves. Wonwoo looked up at you, admiring your flushed cheeks. Your eyes were closed, eyebrows knit together in concentration as you started to move, rolling your hips on his. “Ssshit,” Wonwoo cursed.

Your hands moved to his shoulders and you pushed him onto his back against the sleeping bag, continuing to roll your hips. Wonwoo let out a moan, his eyes fluttering shut. Your hands found his, lacing your fingers with his, you pinned his hands above his head, leaning over as you rode him harder.

“Y/N, don’t stop,” you heard him whisper, eyes still shut, bliss taking over his features. His words spurred you on, prompting you to move faster. Your thighs burned but you weren’t about to give up, not when you were so close to release. Your hands tightened, squeezing Wonwoo’s as you felt the coil in your lower abdomen start to wind up, tension building fast as pleasure took over your actions.

Wonwoo’s eyes fluttered open as he looked up at you. His stomach tightened as he took in your fucked out expression, eyes shut in concentration but he could tell your strength was beginning to give out. You were losing speed and his orgasm which had been rapidly approaching was slowly ebbing away.

That wouldn’t do.

Freeing one of his hands, he wrapped his arm around your waist and before you could say anything, he rolled you over onto your back without dislodging himself. Without missing a beat, he continued where you left off, thrusting into you. You let out a moan, louder than you meant to and quickly, Wonwoo covered your mouth with his hand. “Are you trying to get us caught?” he asked, a breathless chuckle escaping him as he continued to fuck you. You shook your head, moaning against his hand.

“You have to be quiet, babygirl,” he groaned. “Or else everyone will hear you,” he added. You nodded your head, back arching off the sleeping bag as the head of his cock hit your sweet spot. You nearly screamed his name as he aimed for the same spot repeatedly, a smirk forming on his face when he realized what he was doing. He was being smug about it now.

“Right there?” he asked. You nodded, still unable to speak. He continued thrusting into that spot. Your moans didn’t subside, muffled against his hand. You felt tears form, rolling down the sides of your cheeks as he pounded into, hitting deeper with each well aimed thrust. It was beginning to be too much. He was making you feel too good.

You tried to say his name, words muffled against his hand. “What was that?” Wonwoo asked before removing his hand to hear what you had said. “Please,” you begged. “I’m so close.” Wonwoo didn’t need telling twice. He picked up the pace, snaking his hand between your bodies to rub your clit in time with his thrusts. 

It gave you the needed stimulation to throw you over the edge. Moving his hand back to cover your mouth as you came, he muffled your moans and continued to thrust into you, allowing you to ride out your high. Your thighs shook against his relentless onslaught.

It was mere seconds before you came a second time, core clenching around his cock. You wanted to scream his name, let everyone know how good he was fucking you and who was fucking you. Campers be damned, the only person who mattered right now was him.

Your third climax hit you unexpectedly and you whimpered under Wonwoo. He took your parted lips as a sign and slipped two fingers into your mouth. Instinctively, your lips wrapped around them, moaning as he pressed his fingers against your tongue. “God damn, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he hissed.

“I want those pretty lips around my--” Wonwoo was cut off by the rustling of leaves. He froze, eyes widening as he peered over his shoulder, both of you falling silent. He removed his fingers from your mouth, bringing one to his lips to shush you.  He stopped moving, his cock stilling deep inside you and your fourth orgasm slipping away.

“Who is it?” you whispered. Wonwoo shook his head, mouthing an ‘I don’t know’ at you silently as he continued listening. The rustling grew closer and closer to the tent and stopped just outside the entrance. Wonwoo sat up, eyes glued to the entrance of the tent. The rustling began to move away from the tent, disappearing entirely.

Wonwoo let out a sigh of relief, turning to give you a sheepish smile. “Now,” he murmured, licking his lips and running his fingers through his hair. “Where were we?” he asked as he gave you a smirk. Your cheeks flushed and before you could answer, he was back to thrusting into you quickly to bring you both to the edge again. Your hands found his on your hips, resting on top of them as he held you tightly. “Please don’t stop,” you whimpered.

Wonwoo groaned in response, holding your hips in place, pounding into you. Your fourth climax was rapidly approaching and you were thrown over the edge by a particularly hard thrust from the man above you. You brought your hand up to your mouth, biting into your skin to muffle your moans and screams.

Wonwoo wasn’t done yet though. He fucked you through your fourth high, finally chasing his own. “Shit,” he groaned, looking down where he disappeared inside you. The sight sent his mind reeling and he let out a strangled moan, gasping he was about to come. You whimpered, grip tightening on his hands. “Do it,” you whined, looking up at him through half lidded eyes, your pupils blown and cheeks flushed a deep red. Wonwoo had never seen someone look as exquisite as you did now.

“Come inside me, Wonwoo,” you gasped out, back arching as you came for a fifth time.

“Fuuuuck,” he groaned, throwing his head back as he reached his climax and came, releasing inside you and painting your walls with his seed. Your lips parted, a high pitched moan escaping as you felt him fill you to the brim. Wonwoo’s hips slowed until he finally halted, his length still buried inside you. “Fuck!” he cursed looking down at the mess he’d made of your pussy. He let out a low chuckle.

“What?” you asked, looking up at him. He made eye contact and shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “We’ve just made a huge mess,” he said. “That’s all.” You tried to sit up and get a look but Wonwoo pressed his palm flat against your shoulder, pushing you back down. “Don’t,” he said. “I’ll clean this up,” he said, slowly pulling out of you and moving to grab tissues from your bag.

He cleaned you up to the best of his ability before discarding the used tissues in a small trash can in your tent. He pulled your panties and shorts back on your, having pulled his own pants back on. You lay there for a moment, your breath slowly coming back as Wonwoo lay beside you, trying to regain his own composure. You turned your head to look at him. Wonwoo’s eyes met your gaze and for a moment, the two of you were completely silent before a smile spread across his face. “What?” you asked him.

Wonwoo just shook his head, his smile growing wider.

“Nothing,” he said. “You’re just so damn beautiful,” he admitted. You felt your cheeks burn at this. “You keep saying that when you look like that,” you replied, nodding at him. “Like what?” He asked.

You reached up, cupping his cheek as your thumb brushed over his warm skin.

“You're quite beautiful too, you know,” you answered. 

It was his turn to blush. 

“Stop,” he whined, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his warm embrace. “Well, you are,” you replied, nuzzling his jaw before peppering his cheek with kisses. “Stop,” he said through soft laughter. “I’m trying to sleep.”

“Who said you’re sleeping in here?” You asked, pulling back to look up at him. Wonwoo looked down, eyes wide. Wait... were you kicking him out? 

A mischievous grin spread across your lips. “I’m just teasing,” you said, pulling him closer and kissing him. “You’re so mean,” he mumbled against your lips, hugging you tightly.

“Shh,” you shushed him, tucking your head under his chin as you hugged him back. “I’m trying to sleep,” you teased, making him snort. “Okay,” he said sarcastically. “Goodnight, Wonwoo,” you said softly, kissing his neck sweetly.

A smile spread across his face as he hugged you even tighter against him.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════

Wonwoo looked up and noticed the looks on everyone’s faces. “What?” he asked, looking around at his friends. They exchanged looks before Soonyoung spoke up.

“Cockwarming, huh,” he said, nodding slowly. “Never knew you were into that,” he added with a smirk. Wonwoo let out a chuckle and nodded. “Yeah, it’s different for sure,” he said. “Yeah,” Chan piped up. “It’s fucking intense,” he added. The others groaned at his bad joke. Soonyoung threw a handful of grass at the younger male who just laughed at his joke.

The fire had started to die as Wonwoo finished his story, prompting Seungcheol to stand up, stretching before he addressed the others. “We should turn in for the night,” he said. The others murmured in agreement, standing up and slowly making their way to their tents for the night.

“Try to get as much sleep as you can,” Seungcheol said as Jeonghan and Joshua entered the three oldest friends’ shared tent. “We need to be up and packed by 7 am to move onto the next camping spot.” The others voiced their acknowledgement before zipping up their tents for the night.

Wonwoo zipped up the side of his sleeping bag and rolled onto his side, facing away from Mingyu as he attempted to go to sleep. Mingyu, however, was wide awake. 

“Hey,” he whispered. Wonwoo didn’t open his eyes but he hummed in response. “The girl in your story,” he continued. “What happened after the trip?” he asked. Wonwoo rolled onto his back and peeked over at his friend who was looking at him over his own sleeping bag. “Why?” he asked. Mingyu sat up and stared at Wonwoo. 

“Did you see her again?” he asked. His question left a bad taste in Wonwoo’s mouth but he wasn’t mad at his friend for asking. Wonwoo rolled back over, facing away. “Why does it matter?” he asked. “It was years ago,” he added.

“I just—” Mingyu started but he was cut off.

“I saw her once more,” he answered, not turning to look at Mingyu. “Just to see her. It was a couple months later,” he added. “At the zoological park she works at.” Silence filled the tent. “And you haven’t seen her since?” Mingyu finally asked. “No,” Wonwoo snapped. He didn’t understand why Mingyu was pushing this so much. Talking about you hurt him.

“No. I didn’t see her again after that. As far as I know, she moved to Australia with her sister and never came back,” Wonwoo added.

Mingyu nodded, chewing on his bottom lip, debating on whether or not he should tell Wonwoo what he saw. Sensing something was still off, Wonwoo rolled back to look up at his friend who was sitting up at that point. “What is it?” Wonwoo whispered. Mingyu shook his head but Wonwoo wasn’t having it.

“What?” he hissed. Mingyu cleared his throat. “It’s just,” Mingyu started. “I went to this cafe the other day and saw a woman there. I thought she was alone until this kid came out of the bathroom,” he said, glancing at Wonwoo whose expression was unreadable. The older male shrugged. “Okay. And?” he asked.

Mingyu took a deep breath before he spoke again. When he heard what came out of Mingyu's mouth next, Wonwoo wished his friend hadn’t spoken at all.

“Well, the kid looked exactly like you.”

[wildgeese98]

I want to write down some of my thoughts about Magnus Protocol so far. I am definitely enjoying it. It's really fun listening as the episodes come out and screaming with everyone on here afterwards. I'm having a blast theorizing and analyzing. But my opinion of the show is still evolving. It's early days, but I am beginning to settle on the things I do and don't like about the show so far.

It's inevitable that Protocol will be constantly compared to Archives. It is of course a sequel and will suffer the heightened scrutiny that all sequals are subject to. The two biggest differences I've noticed so far have to do with pacing and characters.

Archives started slow, very slow, and I love that about it. Season one remains my favorite. In my mind nothing will ever compare up to the way the danger slowly creeps into the story, appearing in little drips and bursts until it suddenly explodes and everything gets turned upside down. Protocol has made no attempt to emulate this slow build up. We are almost immediately plunged into the thick of things. I think this was a good choice. As much as I yearn for that season one slow burn there's no way something like that could work now. Not when the majority of the audience is coming in champing at the bit for the story. I just hope they will be able to maintain this pace. After episode 7 things seem to be happening very quickly and I worry that too much might be revealed too soon in an effort to keep everyone engaged. I personally would love a bit of delayed gratification on some of these mysteries, even as I'm frothing at the mouth with curiosity.

As a consequence of this faster, more plot laden pace I have noticed something of a de-emphasis of the statements/cases in favor of plot progressing dialog. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Nor is it something that sets Protocol totally apart from Archives. Seasons three and four had almost as much dialog before and after statements. However I do hope that the cases get some room to breath as the early season excitement evens out. I would love a few episodes that end on a case with little to no dialog afterwards. In some of these early episodes I feel like the dialog has kind of stepped on the cases and lessened their impact. As much as I am here for the plot and the mystery, the statements are what made me fall in love with Archives. Some of my favorite episodes are not relevant to the plot at all. It seems like there is less room for that in Protocol, which I figured would be the case but I would still like to see them allowed a little more space.

Speaking of the cases, my opinions on the eight we've had so far have varied for "oh this is very cool" to "meh, ok". Nothing has really wowed me yet but none have fallen completely flat either. My favorite so far is either Making Adjustments or Putting Down Roots. I'll be honest I have been a little sad about the lack of Jonny written cases. I know Protocol is much more of a group effort, but Jonny's writing is a big part of why I'm here. Granted he has had some hand in all of the episodes. Still there really is nothing like a fully Jonny written episode. Though neither of my two favorites were written by him so maybe I should be keeping a more open mind. It was an interesting decision to front load so many of the guest writers into these early episodes. There are 24 guest writers slated and we've already had three back to back. I suppose with almost a third of the episodes featuring guest writers they will be fairly frequent and It has gotten the audience used to the concept early on.

Side note: I was looking at the list of guest writers and it includes both Muna Hussen and Jon Ware, creators of I am in Eskew and the Silt Verses. I am positively wriggling with excitement to see what they come up with for their episodes.

The other big difference I've noticed between Archives and Protocol is the characters and how they're interacting. We knew already that we would be jumping in with an ensemble already established. It took Archives quite a while to build up to this many regular characters and even then Jon was the Main Guy throughout. Now, despite Sam somewhat falling into the main character role, we have a much more even focus on all the characters. This I think is what is going to truly differentiate Protocol from Archives. Broadening the focus to a whole group rather than just the one guy (as much as we might love that guy) feels like it will open up so many more directions for the narrative to go. We have the potential for side plots and multiple narrative threads happening at once. We are already seeing this play out as Sam and Alice, Gwen and Lena, Colin, and now Celia all have their own separate yet connected things going on. I'm excited to get more of everyone's back story and to see how they all react as the plot puts more pressure on them.

I really am enjoying Protocol however if I am being honest most of my enjoyment is coming from the mysteries and overarching plot rather than the cases. This is a total reversal from my feelings about Archives, where I was mostly there for the individual statements and at first tolerated, then eventually enjoyed the overarching plot. This isn't to say that the Protocol cases have been bad. They just haven't grabbed me like Archives did. There is also still plenty of time for this to change. The problem right now with comparing the two is Archives is a full, completed story and Protocol currently consists of 7 episodes (8 if you're a fancy early access person). It is just too early to fully judge Protocol, either on its own or in relation to Archives.

Overall what really matters to me is I'm having fun and I've got something to look forward to every week. I think to key to fully enjoying Protocol is accepting that it is never going to scratch the exact same itch that Archives did. Still, it has the potential to be its own different but equally satisfying experience.

[whirligig-girl]

Railroader doesn't allow you to customize the liveries of steam engines yet... but if it did, this is how i'd like to run my three engines.

Anyway... sentient locomotives are probably technically employees of the railroad rather than equipment, right? In railroader, the self-driving feature of the engines results in the engine getting a paycheck. So here's some excerpts from their job interviews. (they're not very good at job interviews)

interviewer: "Tell me about yourself." Trinity: "I'm a G-16 Mogul built 1906 by Baldwin with a two-six-oh wheel arrangement and a tractive effort of sixteen thousand pounds. I weigh eighty two thousand pounds and have a factor of adhesion of, ohh, four point five, four point six. Clayton: "I consider myself something of an academic. Of course an engine can't go to school, but I try to keep an eye out for the latest happenings in the world of science and technology. Faith: "I was built for speed and power, so despite these little wheels I am a pacific, and like any pacific, I can do passenger trains just fine. But I have no problem with freight either.

interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Trinity: "Switching cars n' hauling freight." Clayton: "Oh god. Have you even seen the way things are going in this country? I mean, it could be worse, I could live in england, but in five years I wouldn't be surprised if I've been… erm, uh, i mean, I have every INTENT on making it past seventy, maybe even beyond. And I don't just mean as a museum piece." Faith: "I don't know. I seem to find my way all around the country these days. Things used to be so predictable, but now, it's just shuffling from one job to another. I try my best, but things keep going wrong…

interviewer: "What are your strengths?" Trinity: "Haven't we been through this? I told you my tractive effort is 16 thousand pounds. And yes, that IS plenty enough. I do NOT struggle to output that tractive effort. Clayton: "I'd say my best strength is my adaptability. I was built for express runs on the west coast, but here I am 60 years later hauling mostly freight on the shortline. I enjoy the intellectual stimulation of shunting just as much as the wind buffeting my face on a good long passenger journey." Faith: "Well you know. I'd probably say my best strength is my strength. Speed is nice, but power is what really gets you out of trouble."

interviewer: "Describe your work style." Trinity: "Well, you first. Describe your rule book. I go by the book whenever I can. And I will push the book to its limits to get things done efficiently, but I will do it by the book." Clayton: "I don't like to rush myself. Once I'm on the mainline I can make up for lost time, but I try to be sure to take care and be methodical with how I work in the yard." Faith: "How does the rhyme go? Safety first and tonnage last? That's the kind of thing management likes to hear right?"

interviewer: "what motivates you?" Trinity: "What a dumb question what do you mean what motivates me. If I have fire in my firebox and a good head of steam I'm going to need to put that steam somewhere. I don't need 'motivation' to work. I just do it." Clayton: "if i do not find a way to make myself useful my tender will run dry and my boiler will freeze and i will be left to rot on a siding somewhere. Haha. I love the current economic system we all live under sooo much!" (interviewer: [writes "marxist ten-wheeler" in notes.]) Faith: "I guess deep down I just want someone to be proud of me? I want someone to look at me go by and think 'wow! she's doing such a good job.' and then I want them to tell me that I'm doing a good job. Please."

interviewer: "Are you a team player?" Trinity: "What, you mean like, am I a multiple unit?" Clayton: "Yes. I think I bring out the best in everyone I work with." Faith: "Well, sometimes it's hard to get to know the other engines, and sometimes I think they don't like me very much. But I'll pull any train even if it has another engine on it too, if that's what you mean?"

interviewer: "Are you willing to work overtime?" Trinity: "The question is, do you have a crew willing to crew me overtime. That's usually the thing that holds me back." Clayton: "Hahaa… yeahh… totally…" Faith: [long pause.] "i do work… over… time… like the job doesn't get done instantly. It. You know it uh. It takes… time… So I do it over… time…"

interviewer: "What are your salary expectations?" Trinity: "Just the coal and water is fine." Clayton: "Well I'm a locomotive with about 60 years of experience so I expect to be paid an engineer's wage of $25 per day." Faith: "I expect a… salary… and know what that is…"

interviewer: "how do you handle stress?" Trinity: "Are you. Asking about my frames. Do I look like a damn twig to you? I can handle tension and compression just fine." Clayton: "Well popping my safety valve usually helps but I have other coping skills like counting the ties and rocking my reverser back and forth." Faith: "I usually just repress it and pretend everything is fine. I'm really good with passengers."

interviewer: "What is your dream job?" Trinity: "shortline railroad locomotive. I love my job." Clayton: "Movie star. The glamor, the recognition, the celebrities, oh it would be so thrilling!" Faith: "Well as long as it's not repetitive logging trips day in and day out, anything works for me."

interviewer: "Why do you want this job?" Trinity: "Your railroad has lots of industries still connected to it, and I think it would be fun." Clayton: "I feel like we've already been over this. If I don't have a job I will rust and decay." Faith: "Hoping for a source of stability finally, and the Class Is don't have that anymore."

interviwer: "Why should we hire you?" Trinity: "Because you'll be hard pressed to find a locomotive with a better work ethic." Clayton: "Because you'll want an adaptable, intelligent, experienced locomotive who can get herself out of trouble better than these new engines can." Faith: "Because I am truly the best of both worlds."

[mikufigure]

i intended to write this as a comment on this https://archiveofourown.org/works/42448821/chapters/110444814?view_adult=true fan fiction (nsfw), but comments are disabled. i’m a fairly private person in regards to erotic content, i don’t like sharing what i enjoy outside of very limited circumstances, but i feel i need to set that aside for a moment in order to praise this. this is one of my favorite fanworks of all time.

let’s set some background so i can formulate my thoughts and also give a proper info. i rarely read fan fiction, only occasionally indulging whenever visual art can’t scratch the itch of enjoying media. guilty gear is a franchise that i, excuse my wording, feel guilty for enjoying due to my lack of participation in the actual fighting game side of it. i’ve been about actively into it for ten months, but i first started looking into it because of bridget’s depiction in strive, as she was transgender, and openly accepted as such by her franchise.

putting the rest under the readmore since this got long

after listening to her theme song a few times i ended up hearing other songs as they came on autoplay, and loved them. passively listened to just the music for a few months before plunging into what the series actually was. i am not good at fighting games. i’ve tried a few, played a few rounds against friends, but ultimately did not stick with them for very long. the way i enjoyed guilty gear was by listening to music, learning about the story, and enjoying fanworks.

as much as i like to pretend that i don’t, i do have an anxiety disorder, and the general culture of media led me to developing the mindset of becoming a ‘poser’ for not actually playing the games. there was a reputation of fans that got into the series because of bridget never playing the game and being looked down on because of that, and i did not want to fall in that crowd. with this factors, i was reserved in my emotional investment for quite some time.

what ended up drawing me out of this shell was meeting people who enjoyed the series, and seeing them enjoying it without hesitation. there was no breakthrough moment of “oh wow! i can just enjoy things without worrying about opinions!”, but rather a gradual build up of confidence in seeing the happiness of others.

do you wanna know the fun part of this? the people i’ve met got into it for various reason, still play the game, and enjoy the franchise as much as me. the only other uniting feature between us is that we’ve all been transgender. guilty gear has cultivated a safe community for transgender people solely through their addition of characters like bridget and testament. don’t think i’ve forgotten about testament, i’ve just only been addressing bridget due to her widespread impact.

i think i’m ready to actually talk about that fanfiction i linked forever ago. go read it if you haven’t, or at least read between the first and second line break. the part that got me wanting to write all of this was two specific paragraphs:

She doesn’t know what to tell this gothic nonbinary transfemme to keep them safe. Maybe spit out some stupid platitudes. Shit advice like, don’t ever write poetry. Don’t ever write song lyrics. Don’t ever write your heart and your trauma and your hope into trans erotic fanfiction; don't do it, it's not worth it.

this first one made my heart ache. it made me realize why comments were disabled, why the work was posted anonymously. i had already decided i needed to write something in response to it by then, as a sort of “tribute” to whoever might have written this.

And in response, I-No brushes her guitar’s strings, enough to summon her magic. Transformative magic, the kind that you’d archive online in the hopes that another trans reader would find resonance between the lines.

i’ve found such an intense resonance with this. it’s hard to convey with words the emotion that this makes me feel. i’m grateful to have found this fan fiction, to have found this community, for a game like guilty gear to exist which could foster a community for transgender people. i’m grateful for transgender erotica and expression as a love letter to the source material and for personal indulgence. i don’t think i can make a much more compelling closer than that, just simple adoration for transgenderism and love.

[poupeesdecirque]

Travel Blog: Leipzig Bookfair Sunday

or: Merch, improvising and Good Byes

4th and last day of the fair. I have to say the last two days went by so fast it's kind of sad how fast. The 4th day was premiering the Ch 249 outfit but as i forgot half of it at home I had to improvise... like doll bag, breakfast jar for Tim, different pants. At least my Road Plushy was with me.

The day started with sadly one of my friends still being sick, we had to left her behind for the day :C I'm still sad about this.

Other than that... if you saw an Allen Walker loading their car that was me lol.

At least it was not raining that day and we were able to get inside pretty quick.

Schu told me he had seen a booth with a box of D.Ggray-man Merch and I checked it out as soon as the vendor hall opened and ...

Con prices are horrible but I needed them. I later swapped the Lavi though as I looked up photos and noticed I already had this variant, I now have a different one (con haul pic at the end of the entry).

The whole day was running around trying to find my DGM Mutuals as they wanted to see the blue coat, it took us a while but we found them. I managed to ... not take any photos with them. :') just one super quick one with Alice but they were very busy with filming stuff, that's alright, it's so nice to see people loving cosplay and having fun.

We took a ton of photos that day, the light was awful on some locations, but there are some very pretty shots! Also featuring the shirt I made as I love the poofy sleeves.

The day ended around 4 this time as my friends went back to their place to pick up the sick friend and leave on time and I had to travel back home as well.

No DGM Cosplayers I found that day but I was told several times that it's great to see DGM Cosplayer around and I was complimented for the amount of details I put into my costumes and props ;w;

But I have to say I somehow did not manage to see the whole fair this time?! Like I didn't get to visit the children's book department, I didn't check for new books there, the fantasy one was a very brief visit, we didn't came to the vintage book museum, the cook book isle was just mere 20 minutes and wow q_q how can 4 days pass so darn fast?! I already miss it.

Here is my Convention haul, mostly DGM, I am surprised! Also the sadness my new bowls are... I am aiming to fix the bigger one later on with a gold repair kit.

The new figurines moved into the cabinet the day after.

AND I HANGED THE PANTS TO THE COAT. Same for the bag. And put the jar of Tim into my make up bag as I don't want to forget the half of a costume again OTL

I really enjoyed the convention, I missed attending them. I'm glad the break is over now and I will hopefully see my friends more often again.

The next event I will attend will be a concert though. Then the Burgfest will follow, another concert and mid May a new Convention is on the list. A smaller one.

There is overall 1500 photos (incl photo snaps) I have to get through, i sorted out a bunch while I looked up photos to feature in the blog entries as this was my priority. I hope to narrow them down, edit and put them into the queue later this week. And then to put them into a photobook before I jump at working on the next project.

[hazely-sims]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

I was tagged by @simstryingtheirbestok and @elvgreen - thank you so much! I love talking about myself hahahaha

I have no idea who's done this or been tagged but I'll tag a bunch of people. Please feel free to ignore me for literally any reason! 15 is so many ahhhh I already feel sorry

@pixelevia, @tealplumbobs, @treason-and-plot, @dandylion240, @simssaga, @monets-pixels, @twitchesandtics, @nikkeisimmer, @bioniczombie, @aisquaredchoco, @faeriefrolic, @echoweaver, @cas-sims, @happy-lemon, and @berrydreamland

are you named after anyone? My middle name is my great-grandmother's name, but spelled differently for some reason.

when was the last time you cried? Just now I inhaled my tea and coughed so hard I cried lmao

do you have kids? Nope

do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't think so. I try to only use it when it's really obvious that I'm being sarcastic. Honestly I feel like sarcasm is often unhelpful or even harmful because the actual thing that's true never gets said, so I usually respond to any and all comments with a serious answer by default. People make fun of me but I'd rather be the idiot who didn't get the sarcasm than the jerk who laughed when you weren't joking.

what sports do you play/have you played? I am so, so bad at sports, but I did play recreational soccer for a few years around the age of 9. I would not do it again.

what’s the first thing you notice about other people? What they look like? I feel like there's not just one thing. Everyone has different distinctive features, right?

scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I don't necessarily mind if a good story has a sad ending, but I hate scary movies. Horror is a really wide genre and there are many types of it that I can appreciate and even enjoy, but I don't like movies/games/etc. that are just scary for the sake of being scary. I do not find being scared entertaining at all.

any special talents? I play the violin but I don't know if it's a 'special talent' since it's kind of my job? I'm pretty good at singing though even though I've never had training.

where were you born? I'm from... Canada.

what are your hobbies? I mean, the Sims 3, obviously. I try to have that be my only hobby honestly because I only have so much time, but recently some of you internet nerds got me watching kpop videos... one deep, long rabbithole later and I'm obsessed with these dorks (exclusively) but also still watching other performances (by groups I do not care about) and a bunch of angsty Korean BL dramas. Who am I.

do you have any pets? Yes, I have a grey and white cat who is perfect in every way

wow tall are you? 5′2''

fav subject in school? English, and any performance or pop culture classes.

dream job? I also don't really believe in dream "jobs" but if I could get paid an actual livable wage with the job I have (I teach English) then that would come close. But I also love performing with other people so acting or music would also be a dream job if it didn't also have to be, like, a job.

eye colour? Hazel... 👀

[the-rewatch-rewind]

First guest appearance! Transcript below the break

Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind, the podcast where I count down my top 40 most rewatched movies. My name is Jane, and in this episode I will be discussing number 34 on my list: 20th Century Fox and Argyle Enterprises’ 1965 musical The Sound of Music, directed by Robert Wise, written by Ernest Lehman with the partial use of ideas by Georg Hurdalek, adapted from the stage musical book by Howard Lindsay and Russel Crouse which was based on the autobiography of Maria von Trapp, and starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer.

This is the story of Maria (Julie Andrews), a postulant who is struggling to maintain the discipline required to become a nun, so she is sent to the home of widower Captain Georg von Trapp (Christopher Plummer) to be a governess to his seven children for the summer, and accidentally catches feelings. Also it’s Austria in the late 1930s and bad times are coming.

In previous episodes of this podcast, I’ve talked to you by myself, but in this discussion I will be joined by my dear friend Christina Ailor, whom I met online a few years ago due to our shared appreciation and support for independent filmmakers like Shipwrecked Comedy, the Tin Can Brothers, and Ashley Clements – all of whom have YouTube channels featuring brilliant projects that you should absolutely check out if you’re unfamiliar with their work. Christina and I also share a love for The Sound of Music, as you will be able to tell from this very long, detailed chat that we had about it. Hope you enjoy, here it is!

Jane

Hello!

Christina

 Hi!

Jane

Thank you for joining me on my podcast.

Christina

Hi, thank you for having me.

Jane

I'm so excited to have you as my first guest.

Christina

I feel so honored.

Jane

Because the first time we met in person, we watched a movie together. And it was not this movie. But it did have Christopher Plummer in it. So…

Christina

That's true. Oh, my goodness. I didn't even think about that connection. Yeah.

Jane

But sadly I don't get to talk about Knives Out on this podcast because I've only seen it eight times. But Sound of Music. I have watched 15 times and we have watched it together.

Christina

It's true. Virtually.

Jane

Yes, so the first time I watched Knives Out was with you and the most recent time I watched Sound of Music was with you, so it's all. It's all connected.

Christina

Yay! Well, I just watched some of it this morning to refresh myself and I don't know how many times I've watched the Sound of Music, but it's definitely one of the most watched of my life, and the episode that you just released a couple days ago was Princess Bride, which is also like one of my top most watched movies. So I was like, wow, like this week. It's just in the Jane rewind rewatch. It's it's all about. What Christina watches all the time.

Jane

Yes, we have similar taste in movies. So do you remember the first time you ever saw Sound of Music?

Christina

I am not sure exactly when the first time I saw it, but I do have a memory of receiving the video cassettes for my birthday and I'm not sure it was either my 4th or 5th birthday. I know that for certain because we were living in a house that we only lived in for a couple of years. And I remember being so excited. I think that I had the audio cassette of the songs and I also had a picture book or something where it came with an audio cassette and it would like have a sound to turn the page and it kind of told an abbreviated story of the Sound of Music. So I was already familiar with, like the general plot and the songs. And then I got this two-VHS set and was just thrilled and looking back it's like hilarious to me that I was already, like, so fully formed at like 4 years old. And it was just like, yes. And you know, a few years ago, like, as I got into my late 20s, I was like, wow, like, do I really love Sound of Music because it's great or because of the nostalgia factor? And then when I started rewatching it again, I like, tried to have a more critical eye. And I just thought, you know what? I think this is a really great. I think I just had really great taste, starting from the age of four.

Jane

Yeah. That's fair. Yeah I feel like I got into it later than that in life like, I was aware of it. And I think it was another one of those movies where it was just like always on TV or it was on TV at certain times of year. So I know I watched like bits and pieces of it. And I remember we watched at least part of it in school in like third grade, and I have no idea why, but I have this memory of watching it in my third grade classroom.

Christina

Yeah, I think you know, like if you're trying to teach, like, Nazis are bad, it's a it's a great, like primer and it's rated G. Like there's not that many movies that talk about Nazis being bad, that's also rated G.

Jane

Yeah, yeah. No, that's true. Well, and. And I had a very deprived childhood because we didn't have a VCR until I was, like, 10.

Christina

What?! Whoa!

Jane

So I couldn't watch movies at home that much unless they were on TV, like we had cable and we had some, like, movie channels, so like.

Christina

Wow this puts this, the whole concept of this podcast and like, how much you rewatch movies into this whole new context for me, I'm just…

Jane

Yes.

Christina

Wow, this is a whole new perspective has opened up for me. I feel like you need to do an episode that's like just about your journey of like becoming a film buff.

Jane

Yeah, yeah, that's true. I probably should do a bonus episode explaining that, but bits and pieces will come out in the episodes. Uh, but yeah, so, I didn't ever have it on VHS. I'm pretty sure that I must have gotten it on DVD around 2004 because that was like when we got a DVD player for the living room. So then we started getting DVDs. So I think it was around 2004 and that year I watched it four times. And so that was when I was like really into it and it was also around the same time I got into Mary Poppins. So I was like, really having a Julie Andrews phase right then.

Christina

I mean. That's the best kind of phase to have

Jane

Yeah, for sure.

Christina

And Princess Diaries came out like, right around then too, didn't it?

Jane

Yeah. Yeah. I think Princess Diaries was 2001 and that was like… I like, was aware of who Julie Andrews was before then, but that was really what got me into Julie Andrews was Princess Diaries, which seems a little backwards.

Christina

Whatever gets you there, to the Julie Andrews obsession.

Jane

Yes, absolutely. So, yeah, so that was at that point because like, my freshman year of high school was 2004 to 2005, and that year I told people that Sound of Music was my all-time favorite movie and I watched it a lot in that era. But then again, it was kind of like I didn't watch it for a while and thought like, OK, maybe it's just nostalgia. But then rewatching it later, I was like, oh, this movie is great. And then I went to several sing alongs of it. I think I looked back, I'm pretty sure I've been to four Sound of Music sing alongs.

Christina

Wow, I have been to one sing along and it was, I went with my family. I don't know if you, like what your sing along experiences were, but I went with my family and there was varying levels of enthusiasm within my family about attending, but I was so excited and so my mom's dad was a marine and served in West Germany when she was a kid, so they actually lived in Berlin for part of her childhood. So we have like, in my family we have a lot of, like dirndls and lederhosen. I don't know. We just, like, have those in our family closet. And so I was, you know, dressed up in a dirndls. And then my brother was wearing this like Austrian looking hat. And during the there was like a costume contest at the beginning and he actually won because everyone else got up and they were like, I'm dressed as this child and he got up and was this little 10-year-old boy and he said he was dressed as Uncle Max.

Jane

Ugh, amazing.

Christina

And that got a huge laugh. And then people were like, oh, like you get the prize.

Jane

Yeah, I've never participated in the costume contest part of the Sing Alongs, but they they always have them at the beginning and it's fun to see like, what creative things people come up with cause a lot of times it's like people dressed as the characters. But then, like, they'll be like dressed as some of the favorite things from the song. Or like this one time there was a group of people that were dressed as hills that were alive and they were like labeled as hills from the neighborhood and stuff. So that was fun. The first time I went to one, it was because one of the pastors at my church at the time had mentioned it in a sermon that, like that was a thing that happened at this theater nearby. And I was like, what? I need to go to this. I did not know this existed. And so then I like messaged her and she, like, kind of it wasn't an official church event, but she sort of put together like various people from the church that she thought would be interested. And so we all went and saw it together. So nobody else from my family went. It was just me and a bunch of other people I knew from church. And that was really fun. And I like, distinctly remember at intermission being like, oh, my gosh, I love this movie so much. And one of the kids that was there was like, well, yeah, it's a great movie. And I was like like, Yep, Yep. It is. So then the next year was the 50th anniversary of Sound of Music.

Christina

OK.

Jane

And so I went again with, like, my family and friends, and that year was the year that Duane Chase, who played Kurt in the movie, actually came to the Sing along.

Christina

Oh wow.

Jane

Because he lives kind of nearby in this area now.

Christina

Oh, OK, cool.

Jane

So he came to that and that was really fun because, like, at the sing alongs, they give you, like stuff to do and say at certain points.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

It's like you're supposed to cheer whenever Julie Andrews comes on screen and Boo the Nazis and stuff like that. So then every time Kurt did anything, everybody was cheering for him. And it was really fun. And then afterwards I got a picture with him.

Christina

Nice.

Jane

But he seemed, it seemed like he was getting kind of tired of being there because he, he stopped acting after his childhood, so he's not really into like being in the spotlight, but it was fun that he came for that.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

I think the year after that they didn't have one because where they do the screening around here is like a stage theater and they were doing Sound of Music the stage show that year, so they didn't have a movie sing along. But then the following year I went again. And then I kind of stopped doing it cause I was like it gets to be a little repetitive if you go a lot, but it is really fun and it's it's just great to be in a whole big theater full of people who love the movie. But then I went again at a different place when I was visiting my siblings the year before last. So that was really fun too. Just being in a completely different part of the country and doing the same sort of thing. So I love those singalongs.

Christina

Awesome. Well, should we talk about why we love this movie so much?

Jane

Yes, we should. So do you have a favorite part? Do you have a favorite song?

Christina

Well, I oh, I don't know if I could choose a favorite. You know, I'm I'm more of the my favorite things theory of life. You just list out all the things you love, but then we would be here all day.

Jane

That's true.

Christina

But I did, I have my many notes here, and one thing that I just always get so excited about when the movie starts is it's probably one of my favorite openings of a movie of all time.

Jane

Me too.

Christina

I love you know the aerial shots. It's so beautiful. And then I love the sound of it and how it just starts with the wind blowing. And then they bring in the birds, and then they gradually layer in the orchestration of the hills are alive song and then, just like zooming in on Maria spinning around on the hill. Just every time I watch it, I A) am just like this is so beautiful and B) think gotta get myself on a Viking River cruise to actually like, go to there and like, I just want to go to Salzburg every time I watch. I'm like, should I? Should I become a hiker? Should I learn how to climb mountains so I can be there?

Jane

Oh, my gosh. That opening is so good. And I think it's really interesting because in the stage show, Maria sings a like little verse before the hills are alive, like there's a little “my day in the hills has come to an end I know,” and in the movie they don't sing that, but they just play that like, that's the instrumental like introduction. And I think that's really interesting. I don't know why they chose to do it that way, but I really like it because it's like kind of like more gradually building into the song and then just like having it the first lyrics be, “The hills are alive.”

Christina

So can we agree that Julie Andrews is like one of the greatest singers of all time?

Jane

Oh 100%.

Christina

So yeah, it's just like we're going to give you exactly what you want, like, right away, and just let her, like, belt out this line. Like she doesn't have to work up to it. And it's just, it's like starting on a climax. And it's so beautifully cinematic. And I think that there's, you know, there's so few movies that shoot on location to that extent, and especially so many Hollywood musicals were shot on soundstages. Completely and now, they're very rarely shot on location like that. And so it's really, just one of the most immersive movie musicals that I can think of. And I just love how it goes right into the opening credits is like all these shots of Salzburg as well. And it just really like puts you in this place, and… “time” – I’m doing air quotes for time.

Jane

I mean, it's a very ‘60s version of World War II.

Christina

And it's also so just before we talk more about the movie, just some more background about me and Sound of Music in general is I have never seen the stage version actually, and I knew that there were some changes and I have like looked up the differences. I think that I’m so obsessed with the movie, I don't know if I would really fully like seeing the stage version at this point? Because all of the changes that I've seen them make, I'm like, yeah, I agree with that. But I also have read the actual Maria von Trapp autobiography, and I think I read that when I was like in middle school or high school. And so her actual story with the von Trapp really took place in the 20s. And then they were married for, like, a decade. And then the Nazis showed up and tried to get him to work for them. So they, you know, they definitely took some artistic license. And I agree, like some of the hemlines in this movie I’m like that is not a 1930s hemline, that is a 1960s hemline. But you know, it's still beautiful. So yeah, we're going to let it go.

Jane

Yeah. So I've seen three different productions of the stage version, I think. But one of them, I don't know if it really counts, cause it was like a youth theater, like it wasn't a professional thing. But I saw that one first because my brother was the student stage manager. But then the person who was supposed to play the main Nazi dropped out. So my brother ended up playing the main Nazi character too. So I saw that one and then I saw it at the 5th Ave. which is the theater where I see the sing alongs. They did their own stage production of it and that was pretty good. There were a few things about it that I was like, oh, but the movie is so much better, but it was interesting to see. And then I saw there was like, a  national tour of it a couple of years later. And that was amazing. The singing in that was so good. It was no Julie Andrews, but it was still really good. So I enjoyed the stage version and a lot of it is very similar to the movie, but certain things changed and it was interesting to see those changes. Obviously I prefer the movie, but I'm biased because I've seen it so many more times. But yeah, I enjoyed the stage show. But I think what you said about the location thing is so true cause so many movie musicals feel very, like contained in a soundstage. And this feels very open and like it is its own little world, but it's also like part of the real world. And I think that's really part of what makes it so powerful is like, yeah, it is its own, like, musical world. But it's also like real and yeah, it's not really the real story, but like, it feels like it's part of the world.

Christina

Yeah, and I also think like the historical beats that they're hitting are real, like the way that the play and the movie ends is not actually how they escaped Austria, in part because there's not a border right there. But I do think, like what it's trying to tell us about, like that political moment there is some, some truth there and it's valuable I think. Comparing it to other movie musicals, when I was watching it this morning, one that came to mind was the new West Side Story.

Jane

Oh yeah.

Christina

I haven't seen the old West Side Story in a little while. I know that that one also starts with an aerial shot and they were actually worried about the Sound of Music being seen as copycatting that.

Jane

Oh really?

Christina

Yeah, so it shared some production team and then the, I think it was the screenwriter, like, insisted on the aerial shot of the Alps. And they're like, uh, like people just saw that with West Side Story, so they're probably not gonna like that. But then according to Wikipedia, they couldn't think of anything better.

Jane

Oh, that's so funny because, yeah, I guess they, they are similar, but I never thought of them as being similar before because it's such a different setting that they're showing you.

Christina

It's such a different setting and also like you know, it's written by such a different team. You know it's they're both from that era I guess, but the new- what I was going to say is like the new West Side Story is really a beautiful movie and they put so much work into the details of taking us back to that New York, but at the same time it doesn't have that expansiveness that they were able to have by just like shooting on location in Salzburg because the New York of West Side Story, you know, no longer exists. It kind of like never existed. They just made it up for that musical but like, you know, the New York of the 1950s, like, truly no longer exist. So they really had to create sound stages and sets for that. And despite like the enormous amount of detail and scale that Steven Spielberg was trying to put into it, you just can't match it with like an actual mountain.

Jane

Yeah, that's so true. Also I have to, I have to mention because Julie Andrews mentions it a lot, that that spin that she does that's captured by the helicopter shot. Every single take of it the like downdraft from the helicopter, it would completely knock her over right after they shot, so she would spin around and then she would fall over and they kept doing it. And she so at one point she was like, trying to gesture to the people, like, do a wider turn so you don't knock me over. And they just like waved, they're like,” oh, hi, yeah, we're doing this!” So she fell over on that hill a lot.

Christina

Oh no! Yeah, you can definitely, if you're like, watching very closely to it, you can see her do the spin and then then they immediately cut to

Jane

Yeah, to a close up of her, yeah.

Christina

Yeah, that's so funny. Also, apparently the stream that she crosses is like plastic.

Jane

Oh yeah, and at one point, like a farmer in the area destroyed it because they were mad about, like, people filming there.

Christina

That's fair. I can't, I can't blame him. It's like stop putting plastic streams on this natural beauty. That's it's so funny to me that I understand why they when she like, walks through the Birch trees. I mean that is like so perfect. I was like, I bet they brought those Birch trees in and they did. But with the stream, when I found out that was fake, I was like, you couldn't find a real stream? It seems like they would be all over the place.

Jane

Yeah, I don't know. But moving on from the opening scene, so the next song is how do you solve a problem like Maria? And I just like, I've always loved that song. I think it's very fun, but I remember as a kid I definitely misunderstood what it was about. And I thought that they were asking, How do you solve a problem the way Maria solves problems?

Christina

Oh my gosh, that is so funny.

Jane

Like I didn't realize they were calling her a problem. I thought like, oh, she's such a good problem solver. How do you how do you emulate that, and then later realized what it was actually about? And I was like, oh, OK, that's very different song.

Christina

OK, I actually have half a page of notes just about this song.

Jane

Oh wow. OK.

Christina

And I like knew what it was about the whole time, I'm pretty sure. And I really identify with this song and love it. And like in the same way that you know, on this podcast, you're often talking about, here's my aroace perspective on things and and like looking back on watching these movies, you're realizing maybe why you connected with certain elements. So I definitely do that now that I realize that I'm neurodivergent and had undiagnosed ADHD as a child. And I'm like, oh, like so many things make sense. And this song I am like, oh, like, this is why I loved this song so much because I as a kid was so often criticized for not doing things the way that other people did them, and I was always late and I was always daydreaming and I was just asked by a lot of authority figures in my life. They, you know, they were always like, you're so sweet, and you're so smart. Why can't you just, you know, do things the way that other kids do them? And I think that I found this song very validating, first of all, to see I wasn't the only person in the world to be criticized for that and then to have that person end up being the hero of this story and the central focus of this story, I think, meant a lot to me. And it's, it's part of why I think I always identified with Maria. But I also love that this song is in part people complaining about her, but in part people defending her.

Jane

Yeah.

Christina

Bringing up over and over again all these reasons that they love her and that they find these things that are, you know, weird about her, also to be endearing. And it really holds a special place in my heart because of that.

Jane

Oh, wow. That's great. That makes a lot of sense. The reason I love this song is not anything near as personal as that. I just, I've always loved songs that have a lot of fun lyrics and I just love that there's all these really silly words in it and stuff, and so I've always loved singing along to it because of that. And also it's very fun that Marni Nixon is one of the nuns in that song because she was frequently the singing voice of actors who couldn't sing in movies, and I talked about in the Mary Poppins episode that Julie Andrews was not cast in My Fair Lady because she hadn't done a movie before, and Audrey Hepburn was, even though Audrey Hepburn did not have the singing voice for that character, and so her singing was dubbed by Marni Nixon, who makes an appearance in the Sound of Music, which is kind of funny, that connection there because she didn't often her face was not often in movies, and she was usually uncredited as the singing voice cause the studios wanted to maintain the facade of like, look our stars are such good singers!

Christina

Oh studios. Well, I'm glad that she got to have her due in this one.

Jane

So she's sister Sophia. She’s just in that one scene, I think.

Christina

Yeah, but they all have, like such individual personalities and make such a strong impression, all those nuns.

Jane

Yeah, definitely. And that's also true of the children, which I think is great like that they have seven children and you would think they would kind of blend together, but they really are all distinct. Even the ones that don't get to do very much, like I think Louisa is probably the least developed of the children.

Christina

Yeah, and it's funny, apparently, that Louisa, like the second oldest daughter, is like the one that the historical Maria von Trapp was brought to be her tutor. And was not going to be like a governess for all seven of them. So, you know, they supposedly like probably had the strongest relationship at the beginning of the story historically.

Jane

But they all had different names in real life too, right?

Christina

Yeah, actually that the real life second sister was named Maria, which was part of why they changed all of the names of the kids.

Jane

That would have been confusing.

Christina

Yeah, they're just like, no, this is not necessary. Yeah so I love how do you solve a problem like Maria? And I also love that they bring it back as their wedding song?

Jane

It's just like, yes, of course I will walk down the aisle to song about how I'm a problem.

Christina

I mean, it's crazy cause like if they just played the theme then it would be just like a fun, you know, musical reprise. But they actually have the nuns sing the words!

Jane

Well, and and they don't go in the church, which I'm like, are nuns, not allowed to go to weddings. Is this a rule?

Christina

It seems like it is a rule it because, you know, they're brides of Christ? I don't, I mean, I'm not Catholic, so I, I can't weigh in on this, but I think that it has something to do with like the barrier, and also they were always upset with Maria for just randomly leaving the Abbey and they had all of these rules about that, so maybe they're just like we need special permission to go through these gates.

Jane

Yeah, I don't know. That's always been weird to me, that they're just like standing outside singing the Maria Song while she's getting married. It's like.

Christina

We’re just like, never forget that we thought you were weird.

Jane

And she’s like, This is why I left you guys.

Christina

Yeah, she's just like you know what? It makes me even more glad that I'm committing to this family. OK, so jumping ahead slightly. Maria is with the von Trapp family. OK, so she starts off at the convent. Then let me just go through the whole plot. She starts out at the convent. They're like, you're weird. Please go be a governess for “a while.” Again air quotes because I think that Mother Superior was like, I don't think it's going to work out here, and was like, looking for a long term way to get her out.

Jane

Bye.

Christina

And then she leaves, and then she is like having all these conflicted feelings about Captain von Trapp so then she goes back to the convent. She has always planned to take her vows as a nun and that has always been her dream. And it's always been her dream to serve God and so she's just feeling very conflicted about it. And then when she goes to Mother Superior, which I believe is the scene where Mother Superior sings climb every mountain to her.

Jane

Yes.

Christina

But part of their conversation is Mother Superior basically saying, we serve God here by taking our vows, but that's not the only way to serve God and to have faith, and if you love this man and want to be a mother to these children, that is another way to serve God and you can take your faith out into the community. And I was someone who was raised as Jane, as you know, I was raised in the Christian faith and I think that's another reason I always really connected with Maria was like that longing to connect with God and serve God. But I think another reason I really love this movie is because that is one of the messages is that you can bring whatever your light is, whatever your you know, spark is, there's a lot of ways that you can bring that to the world and be a good in the world and you don't necessarily have to be following like a really strict lifestyle like being a nun.

Jane

Yeah, well, and I think it's sort of backwards to me because they're saying like it's OK to get married and have a romantic relationship. But I think like, part of the way I interpreted it is that there's no correct path.

Christina

Yes, exactly.

Jane

There's no one path for every person like you have to do what feels right for you. And so for Maria, it was very clearly marrying Captain von Trapp. But like, if people are saying the correct path is to get married and have a family like that doesn't mean that everybody has to do that.

Christina

Yeah, that's not going to be for everyone.

Jane

Yeah, so I think that it's even encouraging in that it is a romantic story, it's encouraging for people who don't want that kind of relationship too, to be like, well, but that was right for her. They're not saying everybody has to do that.

Christina

And I don't actually know how you say out loud the the word for ama-normativity?

Jane

Amatonormativity? That's how I say it. I don't actually know if that's how you pronounce it.

Christina

As you have brought up before this idea that is pushed on us by culture, that like there is one way like the normative part of it and then the amatonormative part of it is relationships and romantic relationships, like you have to be in one to be living the right life and, yeah, I definitely think that this movie and this musical is trying to say there is no right way and you can't say being a nun, you know isn't the right way, but then being in a relationship is. No, like, that was what was right for her and what was right for Uncle Max was being a musical group producer and leaching off of his rich friends, and I do think that it ties in to the anti-Nazi themes of the movie because I at least associate a lot of that movement, and like fascism in general with the idea of like there is only one right way.

Jane

Oh yeah, that's a good point.

Christina

And we're going to force people to be this one right way. And the heroes of this movie are all saying that's not how people are. People are going to be different and they need connection and they need to have faith in each other. So yeah, I think those are all…hopefully I've teased out these, these themes that I'm trying to.

Jane

Yeah, no, I think that makes a lot of sense. That, like the movie, presents the only wrong way to live is if you're denying the way you actually feel.

Christina

Right. I also think I was mostly thinking of this topic in comparison to other Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals. I wasn't really thinking about like other musicals or movies in general. But I really think that, despite how much I love other songs from Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals, I don't love any of them to the extent that I love this one, and I think that part of it is that this movie is about two people who, their arc is to recognize what their values are and then very purposefully try to shape their lives around their values. And that's really like the arc of Maria and the captain. And I don't think that that's necessarily the arc of most of the Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals, and some of them actually, although they're like, seen as the pinnacle of book musicals, are a little bit messy thematically. Whereas this one Maria is figuring out, OK, I thought that serving God was my only value, but actually family and being in touch with my creative spirit are also very important values for me. And once she's able to choose those things, that's how she ends up being part of the von Trapp family, and then, you know, moving with them to Americ. And the same with Captain von Trapp. Like he's kind of in this place in his life at the beginning of the movie where he's just bogged down in grief. But then during the course of the movie, in addition to him realizing, oh I want my life centered around my children, I again want to connect with like that creativity and the music, and then also for him a big part of it is... I guess, like I'm trying to think of the right word, but like being an Austrian and like having like principles of not giving in to what the Nazis want him to do. He really decides for himself that he has these strong values and then they decide, oh, we can shape our lives around these together. And that's really the arc, like there are two emotional arcs like converging.

Jane

Yeah.

Christina

I'm doing a hand motion that the podcast listeners will obviously really appreciate where I’m moving my hands together.

Jane

Just just imagine the hand motion. Yeah, no, I think that that makes a lot of sense and it's less, I mean, obviously there's romance involved with that, and it's not just like they're getting together because it feels inevitable, but like, I think that that's definitely a big part of it is realizing like that they have similar values and want to live their lives together, and I think that there's, there's a perception of the way the plot is that like the bareness is the villain that's trying to keep them apart and stuff. But like, if you actually watch it, I have very strong feelings. The Baroness did nothing wrong, OK? She was just trying to keep her man. But she realized that they weren't actually meant for each other, and they had different values, and…

Christina

Yeah, she's pretty chill. Although she does bring up sending the kids to boarding school.

Jane

Right. But also like, the kids were probably going to boarding school anyway to be honest. Like we just see them during summer break like we don't know what their normal school is like.

Christina

That's true.

Jane

And also, apparently the children were- this is a thing that bothers me about the movie. They talk about how awful the children are and how they always like terrorized their their previous governesses and stuff but when we see them, they are like the sweetest, most well behaved children.

Christina

We put a frog in Mario's pocket and a pine cone on her chair. Are you just going to ignore these indiscretions, Jane?

Jane

It just doesn't seem like they actually did that though. Like, I mean, I know they supposedly did, but I just can't imagine those children actually doing that. They just they seem too nice.

Christina

Well, I don't know Brigitta is…

Jane

Oh yeah, she's a little mischievous.

Christina

…pretty judgy. I think that if you like a movie too much, you can start thinking a little bit too hard about it. And there's definitely some, like, timeline things because I was like, OK, so Gretl’s five, so their mother can't have passed away more than five years ago, and they've had 12 governesses in five years. So like, they're really going through these governesses fast. And also so Liesel was like 11 when all this started. So I feel like maybe at first, she was like she and Friedrich, like, started out by, like, playing tricks but like, surely they would have aged out of that a little bit by now. And now it's more like Kurt and Bergita who are getting up to these antics. But Gretel and Marta, they've, they've never done anything wrong. Those two sweet angels.

Jane

Oh, yeah, that's fair. And it's also very clear that the children just want attention, and Maria provides them more productive attention. So then they

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

They stop being such troublemakers because they're excited about the singing part.

Christina

And I think in part we could say, oh, you know, it's a, it's a movie and they didn't have the screen time to show us. I mean, they could have, at this…once you hit 3 hours, why not just add in a couple more scenes? But you know, because they're kind of compressing the timeline they wanted to show them just liking Maria immediately. But, you know, maybe also if you're looking at it from, if you're trying to justify it from the perspective of a fan, maybe the idea is that other governesses have come in and like gone along with their dad with the whistling stuff. And they've just been like, yes, we are going to be very regimented. And so from the very first impression, they kind of lumped all of these governesses in together as you're just part of this system that our dad has created to put a cage around his grief and not deal with his feelings and also not deal with us as human beings. And then Maria comes in and just says, No, I'm not going to do that. So maybe even just that first impression they were like, ugh, like we'll just do a frog and then and then by that way, they're singing my favorite things with her, so

Jane

Yeah, well, that's good. And also she comforts them during the thunderstorm. So I think that really, that really broke the ice. And I also I have to share my favorite story about that scene, because apparently that was pretty early on in the shoot. And Julie Andrews taught the kids supercalifragilisticexpialidocious because Mary Poppins hadn't come out yet when they were filming it, to sort of like, break the ice with them. And so they felt really at ease with her in real life, as well as the characters starting to feel at ease with her. So I think that's very cute.

Christina

That's lovely. Yeah, that's so cute. I love, there's a couple little scenes that it's just Liesl and Maria talking, and they really did find a good dynamic there of like, this older girl being like, I need more of a friend than, or like a mentor and less of a governess or a mother really. And I I love their relationship.

Jane

Yeah I always felt sad because when she, when Liesl sneaks in her window after singing in the gazebo in the rain and Maria says “OK, put your dress in the bathtub and then we'll have a talk.” But then they never get to have the talk because the kids come in and it's the thunderstorm. And I'm like, I want to see that scene!

Christina

I think that later they did have a talk. I hope Liesl.. alright, well, like, since we've brought up the topic of Liesl, I have several things to say. First of all, 16 going on 17 such a catchy song

Jane

It really is.

Christina

and it's, it's in my head all the time and it's a great song But it's also…full of red flags.

Jane

Oh yeah, for sure. I don't remember if it was you. Somebody when we were watching it virtually commented that like Rolf, is taking this song very seriously. And Liesl kind of sees it as like flirtatious, like, role play kind of thing. And I think that's exactly what it is. She doesn't realize how serious he is about it because she's into the like little fun, flirty aspect of it. But if you listen to what he's actually saying it's like, Oh dear.

Christina

Like, “I am a men's rights activist and a Nazi.” And then she's just like, “oh, you!” Um, yeah, but having been a 16 year old girl who liked guys, I really enjoy that song still because now I can see, like, how much Rolf sucks. But I also can see how many of the guys that I liked when I was around that age sucked. And like how bad I was at seeing red flags, and you know, nothing really ever escalated to the extent that it does for Liesl’s family. But I do have like a lot of sympathy for her there. And ugh, man, men's rights activist. It just makes you think like they will find any reason to be upset. They can have someone as gorgeous and as fun as Liesl trying to flirt with them, and they're just like, “But what if we were Nazis?”

Jane

And like your dad should be a Nazi. Like, that's what we should be talking about right now.

Christina

Yeah, he basically says that in that scene. He's just like, have you ever, like, told your dad to be a Nazi? And, you know, she doesn't really know what's going on. It is interesting. When I was rewatching this again, I was like, it's interesting how they're able to convey that Nazis are so bad, but they don't actually ever get into, like, why they are bad. They're really relying on the audience to have some of like that historical and cultural context. Like they don't even make it clear that there is going to be a war, really? I mean, they kind of they they do cause they're like we're we need Captain von Trapp to come serve in our military. But they just really like gloss over, like the horrors that are to come and that they're escaping from. They're just like we need to escape.

Jane

Yeah, it. And it is interesting because they do say the thing about like “The Anschluss happened peacefully” or whatever. But like, they don't explain what that means.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

They're just like, OK, cool. And I mean, there is that tension. I think it's good that they have Max there as a character cause I feel like he sort of voices what most people were probably feeling at the time of like, this is just going to happen, we have to accept it. And Georg being a little bit more unusual with his like, “No, this is horrible. We don't want this!”

Christina

Right.

Jane

But again, they don't really explain exactly what's going on, and I think that probably at the time, well and even like because the stage musical was from 1959 and this is 1965. So people like knew. Like the war had only been like 20 years earlier, like people knew what happened. But I think it's interesting that like this is such a timeless classic and like it's still very much in the pop culture conversation. Like people know Sound of Music. But like, we're much farther removed from the events now, and I do think it's interesting that like a lot of people consider the Baroness the villain of the film and like, are more focused on the love triangle thing. It's like, the Nazis are right there!

Christina

Yeah, Nazis are definitely the villains of the film. I agree with you that the Baroness does nothing wrong.

Jane

She steps away gracefully.

Christina

Yes, but I will say that we see in that scene when Max is like, “what's gonna happen is gonna happen, and it's not my fault that I'm not a political person and I can't help it that other people are,” and then Georg says, “Yes, you can!” And that's really the first time that we're seeing Captain von Trapp recognizing, I have these, like, strong values that I want to shape my life around. And the Baroness is just kind of like, “Everyone, like, chill out.”

Jane

Yeah.

Christina

She is not really siding with Captain von Trapp. And saying, “Yes Georg, like I agree with you. Nazis are so bad!”

Jane

Which Maria does. Yeah, because there's definitely that scene when Max says, “You need to talk some sense into him. He has to cooperate with these people,” and she says, “I can't ask him to be less than he is.” And it's just like, she gets it. The Baroness does not. So, yeah, I agree that the Baroness and the captain do not belong together.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

But I also don't think that she's like, the most evil character in the story, but yeah, she is again kind of like the typical Austrian or German of like, I'm not a Nazi, but I don't want to stand up to them.

Christina

I would say that the most evil actually is the Butler. He turns them in and it's like…

Jane

It's very subtle, though they like, don't explicitly say that, but then you just see him looking ominously out the window when the Nazis show up.

Christina

Yeah, but it is, gosh, it's so interesting. I know that most or probably most of your audience is not going to be familiar with the more recent musical, Spies Are Forever. I know you are, Jane.

Jane

Well, actually most of my audience is probably my friends who are familiar with it, but yeah.

Christina

That's true, but just in case, there's anyone who's not familiar. It's a musical that you can see on YouTube in full, and it takes place in, like, the 60s. And it's like, sort of a James Bond theme spies thing. And Nazis kind of try to make like a comeback in that, which I guess they do in James Bond as well all the time. They recently did a concert version of that, that musical and the creators were talking about when they wrote it in 2015, they just didn't realize that Nazis actually would make a comeback in 2016, and they would be part of our national conversation so much. Yeah, like during the years of 2016 to 2017, I think a lot of people realized that just random people in their lives actually agreed with very conservative and fascist viewpoints. That because we just didn't talk about our personal politics as much, we didn't realize that about each other. And so that moment of like realizing that your Butler has been a Nazi sympathizer this whole time actually, like, isn't that unrealistic of a moment.

Jane

Yeah ,going back to Max too, like, Georg even says to him like, “Sometimes I don't believe I know you” or something like that, when he he expresses like we should just get along with people is like, yeah, I think that that happened to a lot of people in the sort of 2016 era of like, assuming that everyone agrees with you that certain things are bad and then realizing like, oh, you don't think this is that big of a deal.

Christina

Right. Yeah.

Jane

OK, didn't didn't see that coming. Like Georg always, like he knows what kind of person Max is, that he's like, just trying to make, make a buck as quickly as he can, and like exploiting singers to get money from them and stuff like that. But I think he didn't realize what that would translate to. And I think that Max has a nice arc in that at the end, he helps them escape, even though he knows that's losing him money.

Christina

Yeah, the greatest sacrifice anyone could make: Max giving up the chance to win money.

Jane

Yeah, exactly. And that that escape is so good. I love the way they do it. It's amazing.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

The way that they sing So Long, Farewell, like a reprise of So Long Farewell and just kind of sneak away. And nobody thinks anything of it. And then there's the lady who bows like 15 times.

Christina

Yes, the bowing lady!

Jane

I love her.

Christina

Yeah, they just keep bowing at each other!

Jane

I know this doesn't actually make sense, but I like to think that she was somehow in on it, and she was trying to do her part to help them escape by delaying their announcement.

Christina

Oh man, she's so great. I also love, at the end when they're like, hiding in the cemetery, and then they leave in the caretakers car and the Nazis’ cars won't start. And then the nuns are like, “Mother Superior….”

Jane

“I have sinned!”

Christina

“I have sinned!” and then they show that they've stolen the parts. What a great moment! Like that is just…

Jane

Yeah, and that's like that's like basically how the movie ends, cause it cuts from that to them walking across the mountains and…

Christina

And just like hearing the song Climb Every Mountain playing over that. Yeah, but like, what a great, like the nuns get the last laugh in the end and I love that for them.

Jane

Yeah, I think, I mean, what you were saying earlier about, like other Rodgers and Hammerstein shows, I'm not actually like that familiar with most of their other shows. Like I've seen most of them, like at least once. And then I guess the one I'm most familiar with is their version of Cinderella, and those songs were actually written for Julie Andrews, to make everything come full circle. But like I just a lot of their other shows, I have like major issues with a lot of the the aspects of them like they're kind of racist, they're kind of misogynistic. They like, have a lot of problematic elements and there's like a little bit of that in Sound of Music. I do think like, I mean, I love that Maria and Liesl have a conversation, but I think that that 16 going on 17 Reprise has a lot of, like problematic moments in there like that. Like “lo and behold, you're someone's wife and you belong to him” is a little bit like, ergh…

Christina

That's very strong written by a man vibes.

Jane

Yeah, exactly. It's like, we got to remind you that it's written by a man, but I feel like it has less of that than their other shows.

Christina

Oh yeah, I feel like most of their other shows, it's like maybe the ending is supposed to be, like kind of happy, but also there was definitely at least one tragic death that we're supposed to just ignore.

Jane

And also just like that, the the romantic leads actually don't have a healthy relationship and you're just kind of like I, I don't actually want them to be together? And so I think that the fact that this one is like they do have a healthy relationship, they clearly do belong together and also like it's more about getting away from the Nazis and standing up for what you believe in than promoting toxic, dysfunctional relationships that I think is part of why this one has become like the one that everyone talks about, and it was their last collaboration because I think Hammerstein died shortly after.

Christina

OK. I didn't realize it was their last one.

Jane

The musical premiered in 59 and Hammerstein died in 60. And so there's a couple of songs that were added for the movie that were just written by Rodgers without Hammerstein because he had died already.

Christina

Oh wow.

Jane

So like I Have Confidence and Something Good, I think.

Christina

And I love those songs. Well especially I Have Confidence, like that is such a great song.

Jane

Yeah, yeah, but some of the lyrics are a little weird, and it's like, maybe they could have used Hammerstein to help with that?

Christina

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I yeah, that's true.

Jane

But it does. It is very a very powerful song and I love that scene a lot.

Christina

Yeah, I guess Something Good is…I'm glad that they put it in there, but, it is like, what? Like it is like, you really have to listen to the lyrics to understand what they're talking about sometimes. Like it's very convoluted logic where they're just like, “I was a bad kid. But I must have done something good to be with you,” and it's like what like?

Jane

Yeah, I don't, and I don't really understand like it does, it seems kind of out of place. I feel like they could have made it better by like, making it be like, “I've never felt at home before. Like, I've always felt like I didn't fit in and, and you make me feel like that.” Like that would be a better message to have in that song instead of just being like, “I'm evil. But I must have done something good to deserve you.”

Christina

So I gotta ask as a as an aroace person, do you just like really avoid glass gazebos in general? Because it's seems like…

Jane

[laughter]

Christina

Based on the Sound of Music, like they're only allowed to be used for romantic moments.

Jane

Romantic songs. Yeah, every time I see one I'm like, “Ahhh! Run awaaay!” Umm, no, I hadn't ever really thought about that before. I do remember thinking that the Something Good scene was very boring and and then I also think just like, finding out that a lot of people love this movie because like they find Christopher Plummer really attractive, was very strange to me. Or like they watch it because of the love story. Because I was always like, yeah, it's there, it's it's fine, whatever but like, I was watching it for like the kids becoming appreciated and people figuring out who they are and stuff and to tell people like, “Oh yeah, Sound of Music is like my favorite movie,” and people would be like, “Oh, yeah, Christopher Plummer!” And I'm like, “He's the dad… Like, what are you talking about?”

Christina

OK, so I'm going to bring my allo perspective here. As someone who finds people attractive, yeah, like Christopher Plummer is so great in this. Also, apparently, like he helped build out the character somewhat from the stage musical version. And a lot of what makes the character in the movie so great came from Christopher Plummer's input so I think like, I just want to give him, like more credit than just like, wow, what a great performance because he he brought so much to it. But I was thinking about it today and I think that one reason people are so drawn to this love story is the way that it's portrayed in the movie, and not not necessarily in the musical or other places, is he basically made Captain von Trapp like a dad version of Mr. Darcy.

Jane

Yeah, I can see that.

Christina

Maria shows up. Really Rich guy is all, like aloof and he's like, “you're all weird and stuff,” and they get into all of these big arguments at the beginning. And you know. She's playing kind of an Elizabeth Bennet, like “I am witty and I'm going to stand up for myself. As opposed to like everyone else in your life who's going to be a yes person, I'm going to speak my mind to you.” And then they, you know, realize “oh, like, I actually really like you.” I think that it is that, like it's not that opposites attract, but it is that being willing to admit that your first impression of this person was not correct and that you actually do have a lot in common, but also that like that is so attractive: the man who starts out aloof, and then his barriers melt and he has a face like Christopher Plummer.

Jane

And he manages to propose to you without insulting your family, so even better than Mr. Darcy.

Christina

Yeah, well, he's improved on the formula. He also like, doesn't, you know, do your sister great harm by separating her from her true love.

Jane

Yeah, that's true too. So even better is if if you want someone better than Mr. Darcy: Captain Georg von Trapp.

Christina

Yeah, but I like, apparently the the real Captain von Trapp, he was not, like, emotionally withholding from his kids at all. And I think that they, like played up that piece for the musical, but then also like the humor that he has and like a lot of his really funny lines are when he's talking to Max actually, like their whole friendship. It’s just like so cunning, but apparently a lot of that originated with Christopher Plummer.

Jane

That makes sense because he, like he does that so well, and I love his little, like he's got a little twinkle in his eye. And when he does his little like teasing thing. Especially the scene when the kids go to say goodbye to Maria and then they come back and they're telling him that they were bery picking and all of that and he's just like letting them dig themselves into a hole is so great. And he does that so well. And then he, like, goes back into the house. You see him do his little chuckle like, “Oh, my kids are so silly.” But oh, that he lets them say that it's blueberries and then he's like, “Oh, it's the wrong season for blueberries,” and so then Friedrich goes, “Well, they were strawberries. It's been so cold lately, they turned blue!” is like one of my favorite moments. And then he just looks, Frederick looks so disappointed in himself. It’s so great! Oh man, there's so many just fun moments like that that I think are part of why I keep rewatching it because it is, it is almost 3 hours long, so I think I would watch it more if it was shorter, but I also like, I don't feel like it drags. I feel like it's engaging the whole time.

Christina

Yeah. I agree with you that probably the slowest part is Something Good.

Jane

Yeah.

Christina

Like I kind of feel like they they have to have it in there. Like, you know, it's like to move from not married to married, they have to have something there. But it is such a slow song and when I was a kid I definitely fast forwarded through it because I was just like, adults having feelings for each other? Whatever. Like this isn’t interesting. And, you know, compared to that amazing dance scene in that same setting with 16 going on 17 and then you just like see them standing in shadow being like, “I think I love you!” You're just like, oh, man, this is ugh…all right, I'm going to get up and like, get a glass of water or something.

Jane

Well, and it just it almost like undermines the message of like, yes, they have the same values and they're belonging together. It's like, “oh, wow, I don't deserve you because I was horrible.” And it's weird to like, have that be the song that they sing there, and I don't know, in the stage version, I don't know if they had a different song there or if they just…

Christina

They do. I looked it up and it's called An Ordinary Couple. I haven't actually listened to it.

Jane

I'm kind of thinking that they might have cut that out of more like modern productions.

Christina

Yeah, I think maybe they just like replaced it with Something Good in more recent stagings.

Jane

Yeah, I I'm trying to think. I don't remember how it was when I saw it on stage.

Christina

But yeah, I feel like now that I know that Hammerstein wasn't involved with that song, I'm like, you could even take another pass. Like you could even try for a future staging of the musical, like try something else there. Something that actually like talks about like in this moment, why they are into each other. At least we have some perspective on Maria, like being criticized when she was a child and a young adult. And then, like, feeling like she, you know, kind of was like, struggling to find her place in the world but that is not at all like anything that we've ever heard about Captain von Trapp, and so the fact that that's what they're singing about, it's they were clearly just like, “We need a song about people being in love with each other.” And then Rodgers was like, “What about this?”

Jane

Yeah, let's just, throw this in. Yeah, but it just it seems weirdly out of character for both of them to be singing about like, “I'm so awful and I don't deserve you,” because they they're more like confident and more self-assured than that.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

That I think that it's, it's weird. I guess they're being vulnerable with each other and that's what we're supposed to take out of that.

Christina

I think that what Captain von Trapp and Maria need is a song where he's saying, like, “I was trying to stop myself from feeling things, but like, I feel comfortable feeling things when I'm around you.” And then Maria being like, “I never felt like I fit in, but I feel like I fit in when I'm around you.”

Jane

Yeah, exactly. And that would that would make more sense, but…OK, we fixed it. We fixed Sound of Music, guys.

Christina

I mean, we we figured out how to fix it. I don’t know that…we didn't actually write the song.

Jane

That's true. Yeah, OK.

Christina

We're getting there. We're getting there.

Jane

Don't want to get too critical of the movie though. But yeah, that's, I think that the the Something Good part and the 16 going on 17 reprise are like the two parts that really bothered me.

Christina

Yeah, it is one of those musicals that I feel like some musicals fall victim to: Act One, it's like there's so many great song. And then in Act Two they get to a point where they're like, “oh, like, we have so much plot to do before we can get to the end, and so there's not going to be as many songs, or if there are songs, they're going to kind of just be, like, shoehorned in because we've really got to do all this plot right now.” And there's like, so much that happens. You know, they get married and then they have to, like, get to the point where they're in the festival and escaping and they're like, “alright, I guess like we better have Maria and Liesl sing a little song here in the middle just so we have a song.” But it's not like an inspired one. I also, honestly, could cut the goatherd song.

Jane

Oh, I love that song. I mean, it has nothing to do with anything and it could easily be cut. But I just love it so much.

Christina

I mean, I think it does serve a narrative purpose in that it's showing like the way that the von Trapp household has now been transformed and like you know, everyone's having a good time together again and it's all thanks to Maria. But the song is longer than it needs to be, because first they tell the story about the goat herder and then they're like we're going to tell the same story, but just about goats?

Jane

Yeah, I think it's really funny that like they have to turn them into goats before they make the thing about “soon the duet will become a trio” like it's OK that there's a baby goat. If we talk about baby humans, that's going too far. Like we can't imply sex in this show.

Christina

OK, maybe I I never understood that, but I still maintain there's too much of that song.

Jane

Oh, for sure. Yeah, I agree. But I also love it and I think it's really fun seeing the like the kids trying to do the puppet show and like all of that, I I think it's very fun. It is completely unnecessary and way too long. I'm trying to think like what my f- I don't know what my favorite song is, I love so many of the songs, but I do absolutely love the Do Re Mi scene. Even though that goes on way too long. Like it's a very, very long sequence.

Christina

No because they’re going all around Salzburg. No, I I wouldn't cut one second of that song.

Jane

It's so fun. It's so good.

Christina

Do Re Mi and they, they do like all the different versions and stuff. And oh man, I love it. I wish it was that easy to learn how to sing in harmony.

Jane

Yes! Yes, I also love that they're like, “We don't know any songs” and then they're just immediately singing every song.

Christina

Yeah and then when their dad shows back up and they're singing, The Hills are Alive, and then he comes in and starts singing it like I'm not bothered by the fact that he just knows the words because it's a musical. But what is amazing to me is that they're like, oh, like, not only did our governess teach us this song, but we just automatically know how to, like, go into choral, like vocal backing parts for our dad.

Jane

Well, it's it's unclear how much time has passed because clearly the do-re-mi sequence takes place over multiple days because they changed their clothes. I don't know where they got those clothes because she had to make them clothes out of curtains because they only had their like, really like fancy clothes.

Christina

So, OK, so here's my theory. So they have their like uniform clothes, and then she makes them the play clothes. And when they're like, sitting around on the grass and doing more physical stuff, they're wearing the play clothes. And like when they're on the lake, they're wearing the play clothes. But then when they're touring Salzburg and they're like walking through the gardens and in a carriage, that's when we see them in these other casual clothes, and I feel like maybe those were clothes that they did have that were like for some other purpose. Like you wouldn't want to get them dirty so they're not considered play clothes, but maybe they did have more than like 2 outfits to wear.

Jane

OK, OK. That's fair.

Christina

That's my headcanon. I have put a lot of thought into the costuming in this movie, so I do have headcanon about every outfit that people wear.

Jane

OK, that's fair. Because I was thinking like, well, maybe she like takes everybody else's curtains in the area and makes just makes a lot of clothes out of all the other curtains.

Christina

I mean, maybe. The other thing that I noticed when I was rewatching that sequence is they each have like three outfits and they wear them in different combinations at different times, so it is kind of like, like they have the play clothes and then it seems like they each kind of have two non play clothes, non uniform outfits. And there's like, different scenes where, like Maria is wearing her striped dress in one scene. And I don't know. I'm just saying that it seems like it's taking place over like maybe a couple weeks actually, and they just have these three outfits that they're differently cycling through. What I'm trying to say is the costuming department did a great job of telling me the story of like, over time them going out on all these different adventures and it not just happening over a couple of days while their dad was out of town.

Jane

Yeah, because because I don't think they ever officially established how long he's gone. I know that like before he leaves when Maria is talking to Frau Schmidt, she says the last time he went to visit the Baroness, he stayed for a month. So it's implied that it's going to be for a little while, but it doesn't, I mean, it doesn't really matter, but it's nice that they're able to show like, yes, he was gone for a long time without like making it take a long time for the audience.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

By showing all the different combinations of outfits. But I must admit that, like a lot of the time, I wasn't even really paying attention to that because I don't tend to pay that much attention to costumes.

Christina

That's fine. Since we're on the topic of costumes, though, I do want to bring up my probably favorite costume moment in the entire movie, which is: when she first comes to the von Trapp household, she's wearing this grey dress which multiple people insult her about, and she and the captain have a great exchange where she says, “I don't have any other clothes. All of our clothes are given away to the poor,” and then he says, “What about that outfit?” And she says….

Jane

“The poor didn't want this one.” It's like my favorite line.

Christina

So what I love is that in the second act, when she goes in to talk to Mother Superior, right before she goes in, we see someone who is just entering the convent and she's wearing, like a snazzy green dress and then Mother superior is like, “Go off and we’ll get you wimple” or whatever she says. And then Maria comes in and they have their whole talk. And then when Maria shows back up at the von Trapp family house, she's wearing the snazzy green dress.

Jane

Yes!

Christina

And I love that they took the time to be like, we know that we set up that like they have terrible clothes at the convent, but there is a reason that she is, like dressed to the nine right now.

Jane

It is so great and like it took me so long to notice that. I think I always assumed that the reason they showed the new person coming in is like she was replacing Maria and to be like, yes, Maria needs to leave kind of thing of like, there's no reason for her to be here. We have another postulate lined up.

Christina

We have so many nuns. Don't worry about it!

Jane

It was a relatively recent viewing for me where I was like, “Ohhhh, she's wearing THAT DRESS! OK.” And that's great. I agree. That's amazing. And they don't really like, they don't hit you over the head with it. It's just very subtle, but it's there and it's great.

Christina

Yeah, yeah. So there might be other plot holes in this movie, but that is not one of them. They're like, “Don't worry. We tied this one up in a nice little bow like they added in like a whole little scene.

Jane

Just for that dress.

Christina

I mean, it's like one line, but still. OK, so one of the things that I wanted to ask because I feel like in most of your episodes so far, you've like pointed out like the possible ace identifying characters in the movie and obviously we have a bunch of nuns. So like, there's a lot of people who are celibate but like Max is

Jane

Yeah!

Christina

definitely the one who’s just like, “I’m not interested in like…” And he has friends. You know, it's not that he is like, “I don't need people,” but he's just like, “I'm not out here looking for love. I'm looking for a singing group I can take advantage of.”

Jane

Yeah, I feel like Max is definitely like very queer-coded, and he has, like certain… just the way he reads his lines and certain mannerisms, I feel like could be interpreted as stereotypically gay or something.

Christina

Interesting, I hadn't even thought of that. But now that you're saying it? Yes, I get that.

Jane

Yeah, I feel like that's, I don't know if other people see it that way. And I didn't always see it that way, but in more recent viewings. He doesn't have a partner that we know of and that could just be because that wasn't socially acceptable. But also like being aroace is also queer. So it's not necessarily that he has to be gay.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

But yeah, and we don't see him showing any sort of like… because I think there is sort of a tendency to be like, OK, well if the Baroness doesn't end up with the captain, maybe like with Max?

Christina

No way.

Jane

But I I love their dynamic as like friends and sort of like, co-conspirators a little bit because I think that Max does want the Baroness and the captain to end up together, at least at first. I don't know how he feels about Maria to be honest, we don't really see them interact very much. But yeah, I definitely feel like he is…he's another example of like there's no one right path, right? That like he knows exactly what he wants out of life. He's not looking for a romantic partner. He's looking for a singing group that he can manage and make money off of.

Christina

Yeah. Well, I will say like, I think that he kind of does ship the Baroness with Captain von Trapp, but then I think he's also just like, yeah, like you guys are adults and like if that doesn't work out like I'm going to be just as welcoming to Maria and I'm going to be happy for Georg for like, finding the person that he actually wanted to be with plus she’s encouraging him to sing.

Jane

Well, and he he uses their their honeymoon as like, “Oh, while you guys are away, I'm going to just like, casually enter your children into a singing contest without talking to you about it, because uh, that's that's cool, right?”

Christina

Yeah, I can't believe they left them alone with Max. I mean, I guess the housekeeper was there.

Jane

Was Max supposed to be like their guardian during that time? It's not really super clear.

Christina

I mean, I guess he, you know, I don't know if he was supposed to be their guardian. I think he was just, like, staying at the house and was just like, “Oh, like, you know, I'm here. You're here. What if we enter this singing festival?”

Jane

Yeah, we don't, we don't actually see how that comes about. We cut from the wedding to them rehearsing, basically. But yeah, I I love that. I think that's so funny being like, “Yeah, just take as long of a honeymoon as you want. I'm just gonna make your children sing. It's all good.”

Christina

Yeah. All right. Well, we've gotten through all of my notes.

Jane

OK. Well, any any other last thoughts?

Christina

Oh man, just that I think I just want to say I think that the musical, the stage musical, has a reputation as being like, way too sweet. And like hokey or something. But if you have never seen the movie, or if you haven't seen it in a long time, I highly recommend revisiting it because the cinematography is beautiful, the acting is amazing, and the dialogue is very witty. And there are just some really funny scenes with Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer and, and they like, they really made a movie that I think has great themes that are told really well, so it's good. Watch that.

Jane

Yeah, I hear it being criticized for being too saccharine and I'm just like, but it's not really though, like there's a lot of really serious moments in this and and

Christina

Yeah, yeah.

Jane

And I feel like the the good ones feel earned like they are not just like oh, but everything's fine now. It's like, but we had to work to make things better again. And I do love that. I also want to mention: Best Picture winner. So I did. Watch it. When I was watching through all the Best Picture winners.

Christina

OK. Yeah.

Jane

What I noticed when I was watching through all the Best Picture winners is that most of them are very long war movies. And this is this kind of fits with that because it is very long and there is a war involved, but it's a little bit more fun to watch than some of the just like 3 hour people fighting.

Christina

One of the most fun World War Two movies there is.

Jane

It truly is. Yeah, I would agree with that.

Christina

Because there's hardly any war in it. It's just sort of like right before the war, so…

Jane

Yeah, the war is implied.

Christina

Yeah, I would say the best part of any war is before it happens.

Jane

Yeah, probably.

Christina

Yeah. What a great note to end this podcast on.

[laughter]

Jane

Anyway, thank you so much for being my guest. My first ever guest.

Christina

Thank you for inviting me. And I just want to say that being your friend is one of my favorite things.

Jane

Oh, I feel the same way!

Oh, that was so much fun! Christina is always so insightful. I hope you enjoyed hearing from her as much as I enjoyed talking to her. I have a few more guests planned for future episodes, but next week will be back to just me as I move on to the shorter of two movies that I watched 16 times, which will also be the first black and white movie I'll be talking about on here, though certainly not the last. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “When I find myself in a position like this, I ask myself what would General Motors do? And then I do the opposite.”

[utapri-hana]

A ferocious heavenly fire that pierces the night

This is my raw translation! It may not be 100% accurate!

Please excuse my spelling and grammatical mistakes and enjoy the translation!

Summary:

The third spin-off drama from Mystic-in-training series featuring the demon god (Onigami) Ran and Tenko!

What appeared in Ran's dream as he slumbered was a memory of a distant day he once spent.

And it seems that Tenko was also having a similar dream.

This is just my own raw translation!

It may not be 100% accurate, but I hope you enjoy reading it~

✨Evet story✨

= Episode 1:

😈 Ranmaru kurosaki: ... Is it a full moon tonight? You can see the outline of the moon clearly. It's so quiet that it won't be surprising if real demons appear.

Ah. That's doesn't suit me.

🦊 Natsuki Shinomiya: Good evening. It's a nice moonlit night.

😈 Ranmaru: ‼️‼️ ..... What the hell, Natsuki?

You're on break too...?

🦊 Natsuki: hehe It's such a wonderful night, so I thought maybe I'd be able to meet a real youkai-san or demon-san. It's just a short walk.

😈: "Real."...huh...

If you're around, I'd love to see you.

It can be used as a reference in a play.

🦊: The beautiful moon is out, and now it looks like we'll be able to have a friendly conversation while watching the moon. I wish I had brought some dumplings with me.

Onigami. No dumplings, though, But before we resume shooting, how about we have a little meeting? The next scene is just the two of us, Maru-chan-senpai and I.

😈: Oh good.

In this spin-off, demons and tenko are the main focus of the story. We have to keep pace, including creating the atmosphere.

🦊: Thank you! After all, when Maru-chan-senpai is with us, he's as dependable as Oni-san (Mr demon).

😈: Like a demon... Is that a compliment? As usual, you're out of tune when I talk to you...Then, let's take the eaves over there.

= Episode 2:

*Ran's dream*

????: I heard they tricked people and ate them. At the usual mountain pass again. I am no sharp-ears but I can tell.

I thought we agreed that it would be the last time, 100 years ago.

If you don't take care of that decision, who will?... I'm not going to say any more.

Don't betray yourself again.

You, ....... You've been watching. You come back only at a time like this.

I wasn't being kind or anything so save your praise. If I didn't say what I said, it would just feel bad.

..........you want to talk? I don't mind, but aren't you awfully formal? And look at the hairpin. It's new. What the hell is going on?

!?????: ...............Ran. Please wake up.

*End of the dream*

😈: ‼️‼️.......Tenko......?

🦊: sorry. For some reason I felt you were uncomfortable sleeping. If you're tired, a futon is better than a tree. Would you like to use the room I rent?

😈: No, I just dozed off. It seems that one of the techniques he has been practicing for is about to be perfected. I promised Tokiharu that I would take a look at it if so.

🦊: I can't refuse that request. I understand why you were at the shrine so unusually. But ------ is that the only reason ?

=Episode 3:

☀️Otoharu: Wow, wait, Shonoshin! Don't show your technique yet!! Tokiharu and I are not ready!

🦊Shonoshin: Geez....... Your opponent won't wait in a real battle! I'll shoot you in 5 seconds! Let's go? 5. 4. 3. 2...

🦊 Tenko: Hmmm. Shonoshin and the boys are always so lively, aren't they?

😈Ran: they are carefree. Well, they've got that going for them, too.

...Lately, I've been seeing more and more of those little fishy demons around.

🦊 Tenko: Outside the barriers that stretched around the city, right? It's partly because it's weakened a bit, but Tokiharu-kun's magical power is probably the reason why it attracts the youkai.

😈Ran: Keeping up a city worth of barrier as it is for a long time, How can you be so cool ? I really don't want you to turn into an enemy.

Looking closely, you're not wearing your usual kimono. When did you change it?

For a long time, I thought you were wearing it.

🦊Tenko: because it's getting hotter. I was advised to wear a thin kimono. I just had something I used to wear.

I didn't think I'd ever wear sleeves like this again...

Wearing it for the first time in a while makes me feel taller.

😈Ran: Heh...That's a very human thing to say.

=Episode 4:

🦊Tenko: Good evening, Ran. From the first look it doesn't seem like you've got a new kimono. I've never seen it before, but was that what it was supposed to look like?

😈Ran: Well. People are scared of me when I'm dressed like this. I try to avoid them, especially in the human settlements , but this time I just want to get it over quickly.

🦊: I see... Last time the two of us were seated out, so we left it to Ren to deal with it. We have to do our best this time.

😈: But why are you following me around?

I didn't ask you to. It makes us stand out even more.

🦊: In dealing with this situation, I want to raise as few concerns as possible for the children. I just wanted to make sure you are the same.

😈: Surprising. I thought you were the one who wished the most for their growth as Mystics, Tenko.

🦊: If someone is so careless as to break off a budding branch in the middle of a bloom, that's a different story. For as much as possible I don't want to put my precious flowers in danger.

😈: You don't even show such a pretense while the sun is shining and humans are awake. They say the fox is not to be underestimated, but you're very auspicious.

🦊: That's what you say, but... I too have heard that demons are very scary. But I think it's very kind of you to accept my request.

😈: Kind....

We're wasting our time talking about it. Let's go before the moon sets.

=Episode 5:

🪻Shiraai: Hello, Onigami-sama (demon god). It's rare for you to be here at this hour. Otoharu and the others haven't come back from school yet.

😈Ran: No, I didn't come to see them today.

........But first, there's an extra one.

You think you're cleverly hiding, but your tail is showing.

🦝Kotobuki: Oh my God! What a terrible thing to say. Let's rejoice in a more touching reunion, Ran-chan☆

Aren't you happy to see me?

😈Ran: Of course not. I didn't come here to see you. Ah, that..... Shiraai.

If there is anything you can feel with your powers, anything bothersome, please tell me.

🪻: Clairvoyantly, you mean.

.......I knew it. I don't join our training a lot but I still notice it before Otoharu and the others do.

Yes, there is. Something that's been bothering me.I've been wondering if this is the work of demons or not, and I was thinking of consulting Tenko-sama soon.

🦝: Does that have something to do with the fact that the people around here are starting to have "nightmares"? The Yanaris told me so. (Yanari is a type of Yokai, very small demons and it tries to shake the house or stuff around the house and just make noise. They don't do more than that )

😈 (Tenko, you noticed and kept quiet.) (Inner thoughts)

🦝: It doesn't seem to be everyone in the whole town though. It's just a rumor among the demons who have no malicious intent. I don't know about outside the town.

🪻: If it goes that far, it's not surprising if Otoharu and the others received a request or two. But they didn't, so it's strange, isn't it?

=Episode 6:

*In a dream*

😈Ran from the past: You say you consulted me because I'm nice to you.......but I couldn't have imagined that you decided to marry a human man.

...........I understand. I respect your choice, no matter what anyone else says. Besides, no matter what I say, you've already made up your mind, right?

*End of the dream*

😈*Sleeping* .....

🦝: Ooh. Hey, hey, hey. He's gone silent. Could it be that the devil god himself is sleeping standing up? I'd like to capture it in a picture scroll.

😈: Shut up. I have my moments of pondering, too. Unlike you Tanuki.

🪻: We're talking about something important here, so don't make unnecessary trouble.

So, what are you going to do now that you still haven't told Otoharu and the others?

😈: That's fine. I will take care of this matter. ……Ah, me and Tenko will take care of it. Can you tell me, in case of any suspicious activity around this shrine?

🪻: Understood. Leave it to me.

🦝: Oh my gosh, it's rare for Ran-chan to be that much of a shoulder to lean on. I guess "old vows" are important after all.

😈: One-pot meals are best when the pot still hot. Shiraai, if you polish the donabe pot, you might be able to eat something delicious. No later than tonight. As early as the evening.

*Squeeze*

🦝: Ouch! You're hurting me, Ran-chan~! I'm so proud of my tail, don't be so rough with it~!

=Episode 7:

🦊Tenko: It seems that the yokai in question is trying to wear out people's spirits by giving them nightmares, while hiding in the presence of many small yokais.

Thanks to Ran listening to Shiraai-kun and the others, I'm glad we were able to reconcile.

😈Ran: ..........I'll leave it at that. Well, it seems that the target has not been decided yet. Tokiharu had a dream that he overslept this morning, so he woke up in a hurry.

🦊: Hehe. Both Otoharu-kun and Tokiharu-kun seem to be very scared of "lateness". Is that even a nightmare?

😈: What about you? What about your "nightmares"?

🦊: It was not a nightmare, but I might have had a dream that some people might consider a nightmare.

I can't say for sure, as I dream about it from time to time. However, when I meet the youkai that is the source of this phenomenon, I don't think I can help it.

😈: What, were you trying to say a joke? Even you sometimes tell jokes like that.

🦊: It's not nice to be forced to dream, whether you want to or not, is it? If the prankster go too far, I'll have to punish them.

😈: I agree with that. It is possible that they could become a yokai that takes the life of the people at will and eats their souls.

It doesn't suit my nature to mess around. Let's just cooperate this time and go beat up the culprit.

=Episode 8:

😈: We've come a long way, huh? If we have to go this far to get to the source, then we're dealing with a very careful opponent.

🦊: Even though they are cowards and knew we would question them if they were exposed, they decided to do it. It seems that they wanted to get their hands on the power of the demons really badly.

😈: .......... You're pretty angry after all. Is there something that can't be blocked by Tenko's Barrier?

🦊: Hehe Well, I'm not all-powerful either. Besides, it's enough if I can protect the people I want to protect.

*A barrier is spread*

🦊: Well. You are very good at hide-and-seek.

But eventually I caught you~

You have been manipulating people's dreams from such a place?

😈: You were caught off guard, thinking we didn't know you were here. I won't let you get away. Whatever gets within my barrier, can never escape out!

*After beating the culprit*

🦊: Let's stop here. The mountain should not collapse. I have to return to that town by morning.

😈: Yeah, I guess so. If the word gets out, maybe they'll be a little less likely to mess with us for a while.

🦊: Shall we let the human children think that if they do something wrong, the demon will come to punish them? I mean, It's thanks to the gentle demon god that we won't have nightmares tonight.

😈: Don't do it. No one will believe that story.

=Episode 9:

😈: Thanks to that bastard's running around, I had to use my extra strength. I couldn't go easy on a yokai of that level.

🦊: Hehe. The attack was a little too vigorous and loud. Perhaps Shonoshin and the others may have sensed it.

*A Moment of awkward silence*

😈: ....... Aside from the yokai, Tokiharu and the others don't seem to have woken up. We did well for a hasty preparation of work, no?

🦊: It seems so. Ran, I enjoyed working with you too. So, I'll see you soon.

😈: Back to the shrine? It's almost dawn. I have a room, and if you want to go with Tokiharu to school tomorrow, you can stay here.

🦊: It's a very tempting offer, but......not yet. My futon is at Otoharu-kun's shrine. If he gets suspicious, this whole night will be ruined.

😈: Is that so?........Thank you, Tenko. I might not have been able to catch that tail on my own. I'm glad you were there for me this time.

🦊: No. I did what I did because I had my own reasons. I should be the one thanking you... Good night.

😈 *Inner thoughts* (....Everyone has a thing or two that they want to keep to themselves, don't they? the kind of "past" that you even dream about.)

=Episode 10:

🪻Shiraai: Oh, Onigami-sama! You came again today. Otoharu and the others are training in the bamboo grove in the back. They are very excited to try new techniques.

🦝 Kotobuki: But more importantly, Ran-chan! For a brief moment in the middle of the night, I felt a very big power, was it the work of you two? Tenko-sama won't tell me!

😈: I won't tell you about anything that Tenko is not telling you about. You must have been going around all night gathering rumors again, right? Don't do anything unnecessary.

🦊: Now that you've come all this way, I think we should make some tea. Shiraai-kun, would you like to help me?

🪻: No, I'll do it, so Tenko-sama please sit down. Look, stop bothering Onigami-sama and if you don't want to be turned into a Tanuki hot pot, come with me.

🦊: I expected you to come. I'm still a little concerned about it. But from what I've been able to find out, it's not worth worrying about.

😈: It was the same as usual in the morning.

...... To think that I would be called demon god and that I would stand side by side with Tenko.. Thinking about it all over again, it's a strange coincidence.

🦊: If they live long enough, their strong wills will overlap and will intertwine with the fire of life. We will continue to watch over them under every circumstances.

📿 Tokiharu: We did it, Otoharu! The two of us managed to stop Shonoshin-san's fox fire! ....Huh..? It looks like something is burning... AH, THE PAPER DOLL!!

🦊: Oh my... I thought it wouldn't take long for them to grow up. But It looks like we have more time left than we thought.

😈: ...... Well, we can't stop the flow of time, and we can't stop it either. They should grow up on their own pace.

~END~

[crystal-lillies]

Okay so first thoughts after watching Power of the Doctor, featuring some things I screamed while watching (Spoilers):

-start of the episode is a bit clunky but not a terrible reintroduction to the CyberMasters

-Sacha Dhawan absolutely fucking annihilates every scene he's in my god. Goes absolute apeshit nuts. I love it

-THE CLASSIC MASTER LINES

-AAAAAACE!!!!! TEEEEEGAAAAANNN!!!!

-CLASSIC COMPANIONS MY BELOVEDS!

-Dan...:( really got a short end of the stick I feel like. Kind of abrupt. He and Yaz def had a stronger bond so I like they had a nice goodbye but. Man that felt so cut off.

-I bet the Four inside Thirteen felt(tm) that poor Dalek, knowing that it was right that they failed their original purpose to help the Kaleds survive. "That poor Dalek" my god but I did feel so bad :(

-the way Ace calls The Master out on being a catboy cleared my acne, watered my crops, boosted my serotonin

-also the unhinged way The Master was so delighted that the armed troops were for him. Am I gOIng tO UNIT??? You doughnut. Bastard man. I can't help but enjoy watching you chew up every scene!!

-VINDER!!!!

-YAZ FLYING THE TARDIS YAZ FLYING THE TARDIS!!! THE TARDIS LISTENING TO YAZ!!!

-the fucking memes don't even do it justice. The Master fucking blasting Rasputin. Was playing Rasputin just a cover so he could blast this song? I would believe it. It's absolutely 10000% in character.

-oh SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! DHAWAN!DOCTOR!MASTER???!!

-Don't mind me casually breaking the sound barrier when 5 shows up to Tegan and mentions Adric. A single word. A single name. And I screech loud enough to hear 10 miles away.

-KATE STEWART DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE SURE YOUR PEOPLE ARE OKAY FIRST BEFORE YOU GO ANYWHERE YOU DOUGHNUT!!!!!!!

-Yaz my angel my beloved you rockstar FUCK HIM UP <3

-sidebar Sacha Dhawan rocks in 13's outfit (and maybe that's why the Beeb was afraid of DT in it...too much power 😔). And then that fucking mismatch. The SWEATER. I CAN'T.

-8 ILYSM bb your sass always appreciated. Bonus, CLASSIC DOCTORS BABEY!!!

-sideside note. Sentient energy creature thing? Cool af. Wish we got a tad bit more time exploring that but only so much time alas.

-Yaz you brilliant love. And VINDER!!! I'M FREELANCE!!! HELL YEAH YOU ARE GET HIS ASS!!!!

-RUTH FUGITIVE DOCTOR HELLO BB YOU SLAY EVEN AS A HOLOGRAM

-dont make me go back to being me ow wow that actually hurt a bit, and that's how this Master does actually come from Missy

-ACE!!!!!!! SEVEN!!!! AND GRAHAM!!!! GRAHAM BOY!!!!!!! HELLO!!! SHOW EM HOW YOU DID IT IN 1963!

-you made Adric proud Tegan....even if he would be too much of a little shit to say so off the bat, he'd be proud of you....

-Kate's point to herself. That "me?" Moment. My god. Did no one ever take her in the TARDIS? (Stares at 11 and 12)

-Using the Master's TARDIS against his plan (again), excellent. Actual solving of the whole CyberMasterDalek plan? A little shaky. But I'll allow it. Thanks to "a bit crowded. Just how I like it" 13. Honey. Are we having Journey's End flashbacks and missing all your friends in a TARDIS? :( is this a sign

-oof fuck ow ouch I half expected her to be sliced in half with that ray beam but fjdgkd watching too much Vox Machina lately and forgot for a sec that BBC would never be that brutal and I'm glad--

-because we got the CARRY!!! THE LIFT!!! THEM!!!!!!

-hi can you hear the sound of my heart breaking into one million pieces seeing Yaz finally start crying after being so brave and put together through everything. Knowing after everything she STILL loses her Doctor. I'm not okay. I'm not okay!!!!!!! I want more time with her too Yaz!!!! Right here with you!!!!

-"i loved being with you, Yaz" don't!! Mind!! Me!! Screaming crying throwing up!!!!

-still could have at least kissed her hand but. Mmmmmmm the way they look at each other. The way they both acknowledged the love they feel. But Chibnall and BBC are still cowards.

-classic companions!!!!!!!!! Way to bring back the OG holy fuck

-Dan sitting in a room as the newest companion with one of the FIRST companions. Iconic.

-"Look after the next one" HONEY!!!! I'M NOT READY!!!!!

-"Tag, you're it" WHAT A LINE. WHAT A LAST LINE. I'M STILL NOT READY BUT GOD DAMN.

-!and that sunrise regeneration shot!!! Absolutely fucking breathtaking!!!! In tears!!!

-aaannnd then the twist. Clothes regen def throws me a sign that This Is Wrong. We saw MULTIPLE REGENS here my dudes and clothes did not change. This is Important.

- Also fuck off RTD, respectfully, but DT is not Fourteen. He doesn't get to have two whole numbered lives after *everything else he got already.* Fourteen is Ncuti thank you the fuck much. He was announced first, and we all celebrated him as 14 first. So there.

[ladygutdiva]

An unusual thing about your body that I am enjoying is how thick your entire lower torso is growing to keep up with your massive bellah. I lean toward bellies that are a distinct body feature especially when they're mostly subcutaneous over visceral fat so it tugs, moves, and yields--only yielding in certain ways which is good because "straining to contain" feels pretty hot whether you're moving around or not.

Those undies in your pics are awesome for fat guys. They obviously allow great air circulation and are cut a little small, but they stretch structurally and so tend to stay where you want them to be, like across or between fat rolls. Fat feels amplified against mesh, and mesh can accentuate curvatures while spandex sometimes has the opposite effect.

Are you getting close to outgrowing the largest size they make? They do have less "give" at the edges and the joint areas where the rolls expand. That can feel like it's cutting into your skin from the friction there.

Have you looked into alternatives that are as good to wear when you cross that threshold? Enjoying feeling yourself outgrowing clothes is one of the perks of this, but we've all had to leave behind clothes we really like but got too fat to risk ruining or they're just plain too tight to consider. Maybe your other fans know about something in mega sizes that are as fun and hot as those undies?

You look great and thanks for sharing the pleasure you've brought yourself with us.

Oh wow, thank you! I am beyond flattered by the thought you’ve put into this, as well as your wonderful kind words. You’ve certainly made me smile <3

That said, it’s already a bit difficult to find stuff I like. Amazon tends to run a bit small, but those undies being labeled 3XL is as they are is questionable lol. I’ve left a loooot of cute clothes behind (I used to fit into *some* size small shirts and squeeze into 30” jeans at my smallest!). Some of it, a little part of me wishes I could wear again. Another part of me wants to see some of those clothes passed down to feeders or someone. Yet another part of me loves to throw on an old shirt and see how it fits now! That’s much less doable with a lot of underwear, though! Maybe I need more mesh :p

[awalkthroughstellis]

Artificial Blossoming Of Natural Emotions

Warnings: Spoilers for Artem’s MR card “Imitation”, Halloween Special (AU)

Summary: As an elf, Harmony believes solely in the power of nature. Unfortunately, the world around her has turned to the advancements of technology. When she ends up with an android named Artem, her view of the modern world unexpectedly begins to shift.

Nature and technology are two elements that will never belong together. The ever advancing threat of modern day machinery has been slowly taking over the world inch by inch, and the forest that used to cover this land has lost almost all rights to the soil. The cause? A brand new city full of skyscrapers and humans that dreamed of things that shouldn’t exists.

I’ve been fighting this battle for years. Of all the forest dwellers that used to live here I’m the only one left. The others gave up and fled to a new habit, hoping to find a place the humans won’t steal and build on. If I didn’t care so deeply for my home, I would have gone with them.

If my old friends were here now, I wonder what they would say about the android standing in my kitchen, using the appliances to cook food like a person.

“Good Morning.” The robotic man greeted, his voice monotone and void of emotion, yet somehow it held warmth. “Breakfast is almost ready. Please, have a seat.”

Several days ago, the mayor and I had a meeting to discuss my agreeing to release the remainder of the forest. I would never agree to it of course, and although I made it perfectly clear, he just smiled and offered to send me an android free of charge.

“Just try it out. Who knows? Maybe you’ll finally see and enjoy the impressive knowledge found within technology.”

I almost laughed in his face. I told him the offer wasn’t necessary but surely enough, he sent this man, this android, to my door that same evening.

The android is undoubtedly handsome with his dark hair, bright blue eyes and perfectly ironed suit. His facial features were too perfect; another give away that he wasn’t a creature created by nature. His programming left him with a polite nature but as nice as he seemed to be, I still kept my distance and avoided him.

I’m an elf, for goodness sakes. What am I supposed to do with an android?

“What is it?” He asked, placing a cup of coffee on the table in front of me.

Only now did I realize I had been staring. “Nothing, it’s just… you’re the first of your kind I’ve met. I never thought you would look so…”

Perhaps it was because he looked so much like a living, breathing human that I found myself being careful with my vocabulary. Machinery doesn’t have feelings, so really, there’s no need for me to be so worried about it.

“Androids are made of machinery, but our appearances are designed to resemble a human as closely as possible.” He explained, returning to the counter to pile the finished food onto a plate.

“I see. I apologize, I didn’t mean to stare.”

“There is no need for an apology. You are my owner. You can look as much as you want.”

For some strange reason, his words made my cheeks grow hot. Cupping the warm mug in my hands, I brought the rim to my lips and took a sip.

“Oh, wow.” I said, blinking in surprise. “How did… You put the perfect amount of milk in.”

The corner of his lips pulled up a little as he set the plate in front of me. “I’ve taken note of your habits.”

Again, feeling surprised, I blinked. Did he just smile? Smiles are caused by emotion, something a machine shouldn’t be able to experience. Could it he that his programming has given him emotional response intelligence?

“Your name is Artem, isn’t it?” I asked, to which he nodded in response. “When the mayor sent you here, did he happen to also send an… um…” ‘What’s the most polite way to ask for his instruction manual?’

“No, he sent nothing else with me. Why do you ask?”

I circled the rim of the mug with my index finger. A childhood habit. “Well, I’ve never been responsible for an android before. If you were to start feeling unwell, I’m not sure what to do. The herbal medicine I use won’t work on you, right?”

“That is correct. What you are inquiring about is an ‘Abnormal Response Test.” Artem suddenly crouched next to my chair and began undoing his tie.

My entire body flushed. “W-What are you doing?”

He undid the top button of his shirt, revealing a small, luminescent core embedded in his chest. “Scratches on the skin indicate a malfunction. They will first appear closest to my power core. Detecting early signs will make repairs easier.”

Something about the blue light was hypnotizing. Perhaps it was how gentle the glow was, or maybe it was simply because I’ve never seen anything like it before, but I found myself itching to reach out and touch it.

I didn’t realize I was giving in to the desire until the pads of my fingers made contact with his skin. The texture was interesting; it was smooth, somewhat rubbery and cool to the touch.

Artem suddenly recoiled and I yanked my hand to my chest. “I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?”

He shook his head and stood up, setting the button back in place and fixing his tie. “No, I don’t feel pain. I don’t know why I reacted in such a way. However, I did feel something when you touched me.”

I titled my head a little. “You felt something, but it wasn’t pain… perhaps I made you feel uncomfortable?”

“No, I wouldn’t say I was uncomfortable. Rather, I would have liked you to continue.”

My heart thumped harder against my ribcage, my body growing so warm I could envision steam rising from my skin.

Artem pinched his chin between his thumb and index finger. “I seem to be growing increasingly abnormal. If this concerns you, you can dispose of me at the laboratory and request a new product from the mayor.”

Despair rushed through me with incredible speed. ‘Dispose? New Product?’ It’s clear to me now that androids don’t view the concept of life clearly, but hearing him speak of terminating his own existence so easily was making me uneasy.

“I’m not just going to… dispose of you for being a little different, Artem.” I said, rising from the chair and taking a step towards him. “Humans, elves, creatures born from a natural life, we refer to it was being ‘unique’, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I understand. However, should abnormalities continue to arise, there comes a risk of me losing control of my functions. Should I fall under the effect of a virus, there is a possibility I could harm you.”

Smiling up at him, I shrugged. “What’s the difference? People hurt each other all the time. Everyone is capable of hurting one another.” I paused for a moment. “You’re capable of thinking, speaking, feeling, to some degree. It’s difficult to look at you now and not accept you are alive, even if it is an artificial one. So, I’m gonna to respect your life the same as I do anyone else’s. I’m not gonna throw you away, Artem.”

He watched me for a moment, this brilliant blue eyes of his shifting back and forth between mine. I wonder what he’s searching for? “If this is your choice, I will not argue.”

“Good.” Satisfied, I placed my hands on my hips. “So, you’re capable of cooking and making coffee. Is there any other skills I should know about?”

~~~~~~~~

I tried my best to avoid venturing into the futuristic city but unfortunately, I couldn’t grow everything in my garden. Trips to the supermarket for ingredients such as flour, cheese, and milk were necessary every once in a while. Having Artem accompany me was a pleasant change.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to carry a bag or two?” I asked, eyeing his armful. “I’m sure they’re not that heavy…”

He gave me a reassuring smile. “It’s alright. My job is to aid you in whatever way I can. Will you allow me to do this for you?”

I sighed and relented. It was becoming harder and harder to say no to him, especially when he phrased things so politely.

I quickly realized I had gotten ahead of him. Expecting him to be right behind me I looked back, but to my surprise, he wasn’t there. “Artem?”

I glanced around frantically, and while I couldn’t spot him, I did notice a familiar grocery bag peeking out from around a brick corner. Racing towards it and turning down the corresponding alley, I found him. He was resting on his knees, his back to me as he leaned against a steel post for support.

“Artem? What’s wrong?” I asked, circling around and crouching in front of him.

I almost gasped. The first thing I noticed was that the top button of his shirt was undone, the power core that usually hid behind it visible and changing in brightness. One second it was glowing so intensely it was almost blinding, and the next it so dim it barely shined at all. The circuit system on the side of his neck was reacting the same way, glowing and dimming beneath his rubber-like skin.

“I apologize for disappearing on you, Miss. Castel. I sensed an abnormal response in my body and had little time to get off the street.” Artem’s apology was sincere, much so that it was painful to be on the receiving end of it. “If I were to be discovered like this, I would likely be taken and disposed of by force.”

I cupped his cheeks between my hands. “Look at me. No one is getting disposed of, okay? Not today, not tomorrow, never.”

I shifted my gaze to the street behind him. The city was known for being crowded but at this hour it didn’t seem as terrible. Unless we hid here until nightfall, we likely wouldn’t get another decent chance like this.

“I have an idea. Can you stand?” I asked.

Artem nodded and, while it took him some time, managed to pull himself onto his feet. I picked up the grocery bags - they weren’t very heavy - and loaded them onto one arm, then wrapped the other around Artem’s waist. I could have sworn I felt his body tense.

“Sorry, Artem, but this is the only way to get you to safety without drawing too much attention.” I said, unable to look him in the eyes. My cheeks were burning far too much for that. “If we pretend we are in a relationship, no one will question us. Um, you should put your arm around my shoulders so it doesn’t look one sided.”

“I see.” He went to do as I said, but hesitated. “Are you sure about this? If you are uncomfortable-”

I shook my head. “I’m comfortable with it. We should get moving as soon as possible.”

“Yes, you’re right. Forgive me.”

His arm slid across my shoulders and the sensation sent my heart pounding and encouraged butterflies to swirl like a cyclone in my stomach. Artem insisted on taking a few of the bags to make it look more realistic, and while I wanted to argue, to tell him not to push himself too hard, we were running out of time. I gave him the lightest bags and we headed back to the main road.

“How are you feeling?” I whispered, keeping an eye out for anyone who might have been suspicious. So far, no one’s spared us a second glance. Surprising, considering my pointed ears often drew unwanted attention.

“My software protection has begun the process to fight the virus. It will take time to remove it.”

I nodded and, without meaning to, I squeezed his waist a little. “Artem?”

“Yes?”

“This might be a ridiculous question, but once the virus is gone, does that mean you will… behave differently?”

My knowledge of technology was limited, but I knew a virus for machines was equivalent to an illness in people. To be free of a virus was to be healthy, but if Artem’s personality and humane kindness was the result of a virus…

‘What has gotten into me?’

The truth of my feelings was clear: the thought of losing him filled me with fear and sorrow.

“We’re being watched.” Artem’s voice snapped me out of my trance.

“We’ll have to pretend a little better.” I said, using my thumb to stroke his side in a display of affection. “Maybe we can… um…”

“Harmony, will you allow me to try something?”

His question was vague, but I didn’t think to ask him to elaborate. I trusted him enough to not need further specifics. “I trust you.”

Slowly, gently, Artem pulled me in a little closer and pressed his lips against the temple of my head. His innocent, respectful kiss caught me off guard, made my mind go blank for several seconds. I was so sure my legs would give out but they kept on moving forward.

“They’ve turned away. We won’t need to worry about them any longer.” His monotone voice sounded like honey in my ears.

“Good. That’s good.” I cleared my throat, a poor attempt to shake off the feeling blooming within me. “We’ll be home soon. Can you make it?”

“I can.” His eyes met mine and my breath hitched in my throat. “So long as I am with you, I will find the strength to persevere.”

It was then that I made up my mind, though really, I had made it up a while ago. I’ll fight to protect Artem just as I fought for the forest, and if anyone tried to take him, they’d have to go through me first.

[cumaeansibyl]

We watched the 1999 version of House on Haunted Hill last night and I don't know what the fuck their whole deal was but I enjoyed the hell out of it. I am not as much familiar with the fin de siècle Big Action Horror Movie genre but if any more of it is this deranged I may have to do some more research

Takeaways:

Chris Kattan is my spiritual twin in this. I have rarely encountered a character so dedicated to leaving immediately and waiting in the car -- at least until the house traps everyone inside, at which point he goes full Elisha Cook Jr. and resigns himself to his doom, but in a really bitchy way.

I don't know what the fuck accent Geoffrey Rush thought he was doing but he should have thought harder. The Vincent Price mustache really was too much but I understand why they did it.

Famke Janssen is amazing as the turbo-bitch trophy wife.

Not Enough Jeffrey Combs, unfortunately. Maybe they were worried he looked better in the Price mustache.

At one point Geoffrey Rush is trapped in an evil zoetrope and he puts on the protective goggles, and I wish I could find a picture or video but it's basically this:

There's a Big Bad Evil Force in the place, which I think wasn't strictly necessary when you already had evil people ghosts, but this was definitely a More Is Better movie, so why not! Combination CG and in camera effects, it's corny but it has a Rorschach quality that I enjoyed.

As far as haunted asylum movies go it actually stays almost entirely away from "ooooo creepy mental patients" in favor of "wow, Dr. Jeffrey Combs was a fucking monster even by 1920s standards" (this is what happens when you send Jeffrey Combs to medical school, I thought we all knew this)

Peter Graves makes a brief appearance as himself in a fake TV show about Dr. Jeffrey Combs. Thanks, Department of Exposition!

There's a plot twist that genuinely neither of us saw coming, which is RARE AS HELL.

So basically my feeling about remakes is that one shouldn't get too precious about the sanctity of the original or whatever, as long as you're behaving with some kind of respect. The original House on Haunted Hill featured a gimmick with an inflatable glow-in-the-dark skeleton that flew out of a box on the theatre ceiling. William Castle is one of my favorite directors because he was a huckster and a nerd and seemed to take genuine pleasure in his work. This movie made a lot of changes to the setting and plot -- there are no actual ghosts in the original, no haunted asylum, certainly no eldritch force of corruption -- but if you ask me, William Castle would absolutely have made a big noisy spookfest movie like this if he'd had the money for it. It's kind of what he was trying to do with the original Thirteen Ghosts (the remake of which I am also looking forward to).

By contrast, I have very little interest in seeing the 1999 version of The Haunting, because that took a quiet, eerie adaptation of a quiet, eerie novel and stuffed it full of howling computer ghosts. It's just... not the right material for that kind of thing. By all means, go ahead and make that movie, but don't tell me it's Shirley Jackson, you know?

[eggoatt]

Hi! I know I left a comment on my reblog, but I felt the need to send something a little more heartfelt. I'm going to try to be normal about this lol

That picture you drew was the first thing I saw this morning, and it has been sitting on one of my monitors ever since, just so I can glance at it any time I want—which quite honestly has been incredibly frequent.

It might seem like I'm a little too excited about this, but it's a huge deal to me. Before I started putting fics out (just south of a year ago now) I hadn't written anything in nearly a decade, so I didn't really have any expectations for what I put out. Of course, I thought about how cool it'd be if someone drew something directly inspired by something I wrote, but I always considered that a kind of a lofty thing? Would be nice if it happened, but I wasn't expecting it. And if it did happen, it'd probably happen much later on when I'm a little better at writing.

All of that to say this is the first time I've inspired anyone to make art from my material. That means so much to me and I am unbelievably grateful to you for that. Also, WOW, it's from someone who has also drawn one of my absolute most favorite SciSet pics ever too?? I adore the way you draw Sunset, so when I saw this was from you I actually gasped so loud my wife heard me from the other room lol.

I mentioned this briefly in my reblog, but I really love the way this picture is composed. When I write scenes, they tend to play out in my mind in full motion with great detail, so what I envision can be incredibly specific, yet I really feel like you managed to capture details I hadn't really put words to. The color scheme in particular—lots of blues and purples, but with just the right amount of saturation to match the pink. Visual arts are not my forte, so I apologize if that doesn't make the most sense.

Lastly, I would like to ask just a couple things:

Would you be alright with me posting a blog about this on fimfic? This might seem like kind of a weird question, but I always like to make sure I clear this kind of thing with someone first. Naturally your username and links to everything would be prominently featured.

May I put this in the author's note of Chapter 8(b)? Just like before, your username and links will be prominently featured alongside it (also, if you'd like to send me a watermarked version, I'd be alright with putting that up too). I just really love this picture and would love it to be the way people visualize that part of the chapter, but I want to make sure that's alright with you first, and I also want to make sure you get the credit you deserve.

Anyway, I won't ramble any longer than necessary. Sorry for throwing a book in your inbox, but thank you for the picture, and for ensuring that no matter what else happens today, I have something to be happy about 🥰

hi!!

we've actually been mutuals for a little while (you reblogged something of mine, and i liked your taste in horse content) but back in april by complete coincidence i stumbled across your fimfic account as well and kind of fell in love with your work. the way you write sunset, your inner voice for her, speaks to me on an insane level to the point where it's informed some of my personal projects (ocs) a bit. i also really enjoyed seeing how rapidly and drastically your writing had improved over the works you had up at the time-- it made me really excited to see what you would do in the future! i even made a new account and started using the site again just so i could keep up :3 if nothing else, you've touched this creature's heart very deeply

like i said in the original tags, i've been meaning to make fanart of this scene for MONTHS and finally releasing those brainworms felt a bit like an exorcism, lol. i'm so happy i hit the mark and brought you as much joy as you've brought me !!!!

to answer your questions!:

sure!! it is fanart For You after all

same as above, go for it :3 (it is actually watermarked already! i prefer making it difficult to see so it's not distracting. take a closer look at sunset's elbow)

silly bonus trivia about the drawing: i needed a visual reference to help me with the poses, and the best ref i found just so happened to be a picture with obama in it. it's not my fault they look so tender

[champion-of-thedas]

WoT Reread: New Spring Chapter 1

I suppose this is the first installment of the reread. The way I’m going to write it is I’ll have bullet points for anything I think of while the chapter is going, and if I have anything that occurs to me at the end, I’ll put it in a paragraph. Since this book specifically is involved with the fanfic that I’m writing, I’ll probably talk a little about that as I go. I am going to do this a chapter at a time, if only for my own sanity.

I love this series, but I will get salty. Just a warning.

Chapter 1: The Hook

· It may not have the traditional Wheel of Time opening, but it still starts with a wind.

· I originally read/listened to (I’m doing this on audiobook so I can write and I did it on audiobook the first time so I could listen while driving and at work) right after Fires of Heaven, so this was my first experience with Lan POV.

·Bukama

·I’ll admit this starts out with a lot of description and I zoned out for it

·Wow. It’s so strange to think of Lan having bought into the idea that Aiel were darkfriends. At least, he was raised by someone that thought that.

·Okay so Lan doesn’t think that and calls Bukama on it.

·A lot of this is Lan casting shade.

·There was an extensive conversation about borderlander etiquette which I found fascinating, but remember little of. What I did remember when I listened to it was that a lot of it seemed to be very conscious of the chain of command (which makes sense given what we learned about Sheinaran ranks) and to make sure that you are extremely aware of who you are talking to. This possibly could do with the idea that you could use the information to track them down to see if they’re lying, make connections if they aren’t but are a darkfriend, and make sure that the person is not a Fade.

·I remember that the first time I read this, I was convinced that Lan was being betrayed with the military maneuver. It was that or the other commander was so unaware of the intricacies of borderlander culture that he didn’t realize probably sending Lan to his death was a bad idea. I honestly don’t remember if I was right or not.

·I probably should not have started listening to this while in a brain fog. It’s been that kind of day.

·I love the addition that some of the army are cursing stubbed toes. I too would curse stubbed toes if I had to stay moving in formation.

·I could do without the extensive explanation of what a hammer and anvil is. My brain is not equipped for this.

·“Some men would die in their beds, but since boyhood Lan knew he would not.” Thanks Lan.

·I’m trying to imagine the moment being one of these people that are basically going “what the fuck” in their heads while Lan gets shouted at by the Aiel. It feels like it would be hilarious.

So this chapter felt like a lot of set up, probably because I’m pretty sure this is the first Lan chapter in the entire series (don’t quote me on that). It would make sense that RJ would try and get into Lan’s head so that people who were ecstatic for it would soak it in. I have two problems with it: it is heavy on the ‘beginning of a Jordan book’ isms where everything is described in excruciating detail and also I’m not as interested as I thought I would be. I remember not really enjoying Lan’s chapters in this book, and part of that is the non-consensual ‘relationship’ that shows up later. My limited experience in cultural anthropology will come into play later when I discuss that, because I have a lot of feelings.

The rest of my lack of paying attention comes specifically from the fact that the fanfiction I am writing neither starts at this point nor really features Lan. I’m actually at the point where I’m not sure I want him in it. Not to do with him as a character, but I’m having trouble putting him in somewhere. We’ll see.