#i want to destroy every single person that made noémie feel like she was worthless

[ladyonfire28]

Noémie Merlant for DeMorgen.

In this interview, Noémie talks about her modeling career, the César, Céline and mentions for the very first time that she suffered from eating disorder when she was working as a model...

(the interview was no in my native tongue, I used google translate so the translation might be approximative sometimes) 

Rising star Noémie Merlant: 'Being a model is terrible. It shouldn't exist’

(...) 

WEIGHED LIKE AN ANIMAL

How it feels to fall on an object may have remained somewhat abstract for Merlant; she understands what it is like to be viewed as an object herself. For eight years she was a much sought after photo and catwalk model. But she certainly does not have fond memories of that period. “When I was 17, I moved from a suburb near Nantes to Paris to study at the Cours Florent theater academy. Then I suddenly had to earn money to pay the rent. Since I am quite tall, I regularly did assignments as a model since I was 16. I expanded that activity in Paris. ”

Until she was 24, Merlant will string together shows and photo shoots, "but only because I couldn't live off my work as an actress before," she says. “Being a model is a terrible job. I think it shouldn't even exist. All the while I felt like just a piece of meat. You are weighed, measured and touched like an animal. And then comes the comment, "No, she's too fat. Here's a little too much grease running over the edge of her underpants. " They really talk about you like you're not just there. And worst of all, there is no protection whatsoever. At some point, rules were introduced to fight anorexia in the industry: those who weighed too little were no longer allowed to work. But in practice, it just came down to putting weights in our bra when the occupational physician came by. Totally irresponsible. ”

We ask carefully whether her time as a model has ever left her with an eating disorder. "It did," she replies quietly. “For a long time. While I never had a problem with food before. Being a model made me sick. ” She pauses. “it’s crazy, it’s actually the first time that I have said this in public. But it seems important to me to talk about it, because it remains taboo, and it’s also a disease that is very difficult to get rid of. I was lucky: cinema saved me. Because acting allowed me to express myself. While in the fashion world I was always expected to keep silent. As a model you are objectified in such a way that you lose your voice. In the long run, I also failed in my personal relationships to say what I felt. I dared not say no anymore”. 

THE POLANSKI SHOCK

Today is different, she recently proved at the ceremony of the Césars - the French Oscars. When the contested Roman Polanski, who is still wanted by the American court for the rape of a 13-year-old girl in 1977, was awarded the best director prize for his historical drama J'accuse, actress Adèle Haenel stormed out of the room from. Merlant, who shared the screen with Haenel in Portrait de la jeune fille en feu, quickly joined her and strode out.

What went through her then? “Polanski had already won the Best Adapted Screenplay award earlier that night, so it wasn't just about getting his film an award. We were shocked that he was also lauded as the best director, and things were shouted in the audience like 'bravo, Roman!'. That felt very ambiguous at the time. ”

Their action has sparked a media storm, Merlant realizes. “There is a lot of division now, and there are hard words. But we also get a lot of support. We set something in motion by standing there and leaving. At least there is now real discussion about this theme. Not only on the internet, but also within families and groups of friends. And even though those discussions can sometimes run high, movement still seems to me better than standing still. ”

What does she think of the often heard argument that man should be separated from the artist? "I find that a very difficult issue," she admits honestly. “But when I look at myself, I don't feel like I become a different person when I act or write. Moreover, I do not think that cinema, or art in general, is above the law. I think what you do in real life is more important than cinema. ”

NAKED AGAINST YOUR WILL

In fact, good behavior in real life can also improve the quality of art, Merlant thinks. She learned that from director Céline Sciamma on the set of Portrait de la jeune fille en feu . “Céline is very good at listening to others. She does not impose her opinion and wishes. She just gives the others space and time to express herself. That egalitarian atmosphere constantly produced pleasant surprises, just because everyone dared to imagine things. If everyone feels comfortable and feels free to speak, it is very enriching. Mutual agreement is therefore a very positive thing. It does not mean that you are not allowed to say anything more, on the contrary: it means that everyone has the opportunity to speak out and be heard.”

The contrast with her experiences as a model could not be greater, Merlant concludes: “As a model I was not given the space to say no. If you are a minor, and they ask you to take your clothes off, it is very difficult to refuse. Because you have always been told that you have to like it - that that is your only reason for existence, even. So you start undressing, even if you don't feel like it. ”

And then our conversation is over, and it's time for ... the photo shoot. Does she not find it difficult to get back into the role of model? "I don't really care," she laughs. “I don't think it's the most exciting part of my job, but I'll take it in. The atmosphere with this kind of shoots is also much better than when I worked as a model. Because the power relation has now changed: I am no longer 'the model', but 'the actress'. Then a photographer suddenly speaks to you in a completely different way. I am no longer treated as a thing, but as a human being. ”