#i was hoping a leader of a thieving gang would be meaner and then i remember this is a kirby character.

[i-like-eyes]

Interesting Daroach Dialogue

Hey y'all, trying something different from my normal content. Recently the Kirby JP Twitter posted some Squeak Squad themed tweets regarding the characters, including what was new information to people. What was said in the tweets was information already present in Mass Attack, but most people haven't played a nearly 10-year-old spinoff DS title released at the end of the console's life span. Daroach has over 300 lines of dialogue in Mass Attack, the most out of any character in the series. Because reading wiki's are lame, I've listed some of his more note-worthy dialogue for those that are interested.

Side note: While I may or may not get to writing a separate post analyzing this (homework takes priority rn), I want to note that any and all dialogue listed is up to interpretation. I write context when needed and will sometimes explain my reasoning for why an excerpt is interesting, but Daroach's real motivations are vague. I don't think there is one "right" interpretation for this game, so have fun.

Spoilers for Mass Attack under the break!

Daroach's airship serves as a hub for the Kirby's to stay at. He has the Kirby's collect medals for him, but they are not required to finish the game. He mentions being on the Pupupu Island several times in his attempts to collect the treasure, but he needs Kirbys' help for tasks he cannot complete (like needing 10 Kirby's). He exists to give exposition and hints during the game, while also sprinkling some snarky but encouraging tid-bits.

Introduction (Despite Mass Attack coming out after Squeak Squad he still introduces himself suposedly for new players):

"Welcome, my little friend! Or should I say...friends? I am Daroach, the captain of the treasure-hunting Squeaks. I have sniffed out a stash of riches that I must possess. Medals, on this island! Would you help me collect these medals?"

If the player selects yes:

"Excellent! I have a nose for gold, so I'll be trying to find the locations of medals. Return to me anytime you need a treasure tip."

If the player selects no:

"No? Oh, I see! You are toying with Daroach, like a cat plays with a mouse. You say no when you mean yes! Daroach likes a good sense of humor. And do you know what I like even more? Medals! So help me collect them all. Return to me for hints. Now, good luck."

Once you collect all the medals (only crazy people have seen this):

"Marvelous! You've collected all of the medals! And THAT concludes my business here. Let me just take those off your hands. Now good-bye. Farewell. So long. And see you around the cosmos. Oh, don't look at me like that! You know I'm deeply thankful for all you've done... But I suppose some sort of thank-you gift is in order!"

*gives you the boss rush mode or something*

"Now I think THAT really does conclude our business! I must be off, since a treasure-hunter's job is never done. I hope we meet again someday."

Information on the Squeaks:

"My friends moving down below are known as the Squeakers. They do most of the intel gathering around here. They're the ones who found out where most of the medals are. But the Squeakers are timid, so that leaves only you to get those medals for me!"

"Below me you see Spinni, the most stylish member of my gang. And he ferrets out treasure like a pro. But he's taking a break from the biz right now. That's why I'm relying on you."

"My floating friend there, Doc, built my airship. He's a genius when it comes to machines. Right, Doc? Hmm. He's getting on in years now, but I'm sure he's got a lot of big ideas knocking around his head."

"I've seen a lot of great airships in my travels. But my floating friend Doc, there, made this one. And it's the best around."

"The fellow behind you goes by the name Storo. He's always been a big guy, but don't worry. He's really a pussycat. So to speak."

"My friend Storo behind you might seem like a brute. But would a brute brush his teeth until they're all minty fresh? So, best not to judge a book by its cover."

Hnnnnnnng:

"Seeing how close Big Birdee and the Wee Birdees are makes me tear up... My crew is my family, and they're the best around."

Mentions of "sources", probably the Squeakers:

"My sources say that there's a quirky kind of candy out there."

"My sources tell me that this island was once the place of an incredible battle."

Regarding Whispy Woods:

"I feel like I've seen the boss of this island somewhere before..."

Regarding Dedede Resort:

"This island is so tropical, yet you can ski as well. No better place for a getaway, I guess."

"I used to steal the hearts of young ladies by the seaside here. But that was long ago, before King Dedede came to spoil its shores."

"Dedede Resort has a castle that King Dedede had built. It's supposed to be beyond tacky."

(Note: While he pokes fun at the Dedede Resort he doesn't make any snarky comments when describing the actual Dedede boss fight.)

This bit from his description of Lady Ivy:

"Like all beauties, she's got a thorny side!"

Repeated hints, a little self-aware:

"What? You knew that? Then what are you waiting around for... Small talk?"

"You may hear me prattle about the same things. It's just that I'm a single-minded sort of rogue."

Leaning on/breaking the forth wall Daroach casual gamer confirmed:

"As the captain of an airship with all sorts of buttons and blinky lights... I know the value of a good manual."

"They say to always play games in moderation. That makes perfect sense to me. It leaves some time to scout out treasure!"

"If the power light on your Nintendo DS turns red, it's time to recharge the battery. Seems like a good thing to know."

"I wish I could get my hands on one of those Nintendo 3DS systems. Seems like they're worth their weight in gold."

This one is interesting for mentioning tomatoes, but not noting that he hates them; either it wasn't necessary at the time or that detail was added during Star Allies:

"Bananas are better than apples. And melons? Better yet. Maxim Tomatoes produce the juiciest results of all."

Has a playful side:

"Which is your favorite way to get to those hard-to-reach places? Jumping? Or riding a star? Me, I think I couldn't choose!"

"How's that little game go? She loves me... She loves me not... I think that game doesn't apply to some of the flowers here. They're not going to love you if you pull their petals off!"

"Seen the rainbow pinball table yet? That game is ridiculously addictive."

"I used to go to the bubble-bursting attraction at Dedede Resort all the time. But I could never pocket any medals that flew by. If you jump high enough, you can grab them."

Is very sensitive/uptight:

"I can't stand rain. It makes a slimy mess of my fur."

"Slimy stuff gives me the shakes. See? I'm shaking just thinking about it!"

"Rain rarely falls in this desert. All this dry air is making my fur itch!"

"Cemeteries give me the heebie-jeebies, because anything could pop out at you."

"It's ridiculously hot here. Too hot to be wearing a cloak."

He is so encouraging it hurts:

"I've always been a big fan of underdogs. I guess that's why I'm helping you out."

"Return here, of course, if you run into any trouble out there. Good luck to you."

"Be careful in there. It sounds bleak."

"Saving the world from darkness can be exhausting work. Don't forget to take a break now and then."

"Stay together to survive."

"Return to me safe and sound!"

Rats are canon to the Kirbyverse apparently:

"Rhino Beetles are like rats deserting a sinking ship. Those little insects are smart, all right."

Daroach, Kirby doesn't have-

"But you'll need to run toward the medal quickly, or else it will slip through your fingers."

"I bet you can trick one into blasting its treasure into your hands."

Mofo just casually mentions a moment from his childhood detailing his wacky adventures on the Pupupu Islands whereas Zan-

"I remember searching for treasure on this island when I was young. It suddenly started raining. I ducked into a cave. When I saw some plant squiggle on the ceiling... I lashed out at it, pulled it down, then found myself crashing through the floor! I fell down a hole, and when I finally landed, I saw a flicker of gold nearby. There were enemies too, and I barely escaped with my life. I wonder if that treasure is still there?"

Make of this one what you will:

"Here's a tip that's gotten me a long way in life. Steer clear of any cake that's thrown at you."

Misc:

"Necrodeus hates light and wants to steep the world in darkness. As a pirate, I can respect that. But with no light, all my treasure would cease sparkling. And I can't have that. Do everything in your power to stop him. My gold must shine!"

"A rainbow seems to be a universal symbol for harmony! But I wonder what Necrodeus sees when he looks at a rainbow? Probably gives him a headache."

"Take it from me. The bigger they are, the harder they fall."

"They say that no one lives on this island. But strange voices come from one of the buildings here. Perhaps it's ghosts, if you believe in such things."

"When in doubt, hurl yourself against a tombstone and see what happens."