#i was up in the nosebleeds sobbing btw

[foegoal]

clouder scores the game winning goal against the leafs (01.16.24)

[kisskiss-slashslash]

Slashers (plus Micheal) chasing their future s/o and mid chase they trip head first bc of a rock and their s/o just turns around and laughs at them. The slasher just get up and start chasing them again but there s/o can’t stop laughing

I think it’s a funny fic❤️

U don’t have to do this btw

Oh but I want to 😄 unfortunately I couldn't come up with a good scenario for Michael, sorry. If I ever get an idea for it I will add him to thia post

Slashers tripping and falling while chasing their future s/o

Jason Voorhees

Jason is unsure about chasing you, and that’s the only reason why this happens. Usually, when he is *really* determined to kill someone, something like that wouldn’t happen to him; not at Crystal Lake at least, where he knows every stick and stone by heart. He may get his weapon stuck in places, but tripping? No way.

But you… you are different. Really, you don’t seem like his other victims at all. Your only real “crime” is entering his territory in the first place. So yes, Jason isn’t quite as set on killing you. He might even let you get away.

He is debating with himself if sparing you would really be a good idea, when his foot gets caught on a small rock, and he finds himself face first on yet another rock, leaving him with a bloody nose.

You stop and look at him, your cheeks puffed up trying to contain your laugher. But when you try to speak, it just bursts out. Jason, of course, is not pleased, and immediately gets up to continue his pursuit.

Busy laughing as you are, you do not see the rope on the ground, and you quickly find yourself in the same position as Jason, face-first on the ground, with a nosebleed and a bruise on your face.

He catches up to you and you turn around. “I… guess I deserve it now, for laughing at you.” You see the blood dripping from underneath his mask and pull a tissue from your pocket. “Here. Sorry for laughing earlier.”

He hesitates before accepting, and once his bleeding nose is plugged up, he reaches out his hand to pull you to your feet.

Okay, it wasn’t nice of you to laugh at him, but you apologized. And that seals the deal for him; you’re a good one. You don’t have to die.

Vincent Sinclair

He actually trips over his own equipment. No idea *how* you got into his workshop while still breathing; you were probably trying to hide from Bo, only to find yourself face to face with his brother. Once he notices you, he of course grabs his ornate carving knifes and tries to attack you, only for the strap of his apron to get stuck at his chair, which causes him to trip over said chair while trying to untangle himself. And to put the cherry on top, when he hits the ground, his mask cracks and falls off.

You try to bite back your laughter. Unsuccessfully. Still, you decide to run before Vincent can recover.

He catches up to you in the living room of the house. Now maskless, he advances on you while you are alternating between giggles and sobs.

Then you can see him. And just kind of blurt out:“A pretty face like yours really shouldn’t be covered up by a mask.”

He lowers his knives, confused. Are you… *hitting on him*?

Freddy Krueger

Even in a world where he is god, Freddy isn’t quite safe from the little annoyances of every day life. This time, while making one of his usual quips, he makes a small misstep and lands on his ass.

You laugh, all of your fear going up in smoke, and with that, Freddy’s powers.

“Fucking hell”, he grumbles while he pulls himself to his feet. “What, you think I’m harmless just because I tripped, bitch?”

You are doubled over, holding your sides. “Oh really? Cause you don’t look that threatening right now, old man!”

He growls, frustrated that you are *right*. You are in his world now, but he can’t do anything because you’re not scared.

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms is pursuing you through the walls of his family’s estate, but underestimates his momentum while rounding a corner, which causes him to lose his balance and fall backwards.

You look at the sight, and while the laughter is bubbling up inside you already, you can’t help but feel the protectiveness you have started feeling towards your “charge” flare up.

He said he wouldn’t hurt you. He said he would be good. And really he has never hurt you, right?

Still chuckling to yourself, you walk up to him and offer your hand. “I think I win this round”, you say, trying to play it off as if you were only playing catch.

He looks up at you and allows you to pull him up. “You… were just playing?”

“Of course, would I be laughing otherwise?”

Brahms doesn’t quite believe that, but as long as it means you will stay, he won’t ask any more questions.

Bubba Sawyer

Bubba does tend to be a little bit on the clumsy side, so it’s no surprise when he loses his balance while swinging the chainsaw at you. It clatters to the ground, and gets dangerously close to cutting *him* instead.

You quickly grab the handle and turn it off, almost out of reflex, as if the person about to be cut by it hadn’t just tried to kill you.

The ridiculousness of the whole situation makes you burst out laughing. “What am I even doing here?”, you choke out inbetween tears of laughter. Then you shake your head and look at Bubba.

“You okay? The chainsaw didn’t get you, did it?”

He looks at you like you’re a hero. No, he can’t eat you. You saved him. He has to tell Drayton that you’re a friend now.

[gay-salt-amber]

^^ Hi again~!

You said in the kid headcanons you see Vil and Rook getting married when the kids were toddlers or babies and that got me curious of what the wedding would look like, then I recalled all their weddings

I, sadly for some not Riddle cause screw his mum, see some of them haven cut ties with their families for different reasons or they refused to. Like I see Kalim having at least invited his family to his wedding (I like JamKal as well but also love KalJamAce too, I'm curious of which fic you mean since I can't find anything of them minus here, just wanted to say that) but they didn't show up. And after that he decided to cut ties with them minus some of his siblings and cousins who he cares for. Another would maybe be Idia after getting that family love from Malleus' family and Azul's family and realize his family doesn't care that much about him minus Ortho who I see being the best man on his side in the wedding

Yeee! Imma add onto some of these btw since I really like yours

Floyd x Riddle x Cater

Floyd and Caters family were very happy to be invited and accepted the invites right away along with offering to pay bar bills and half of the catering bill!

I feel like Riddles mom refused to go until she somehow learned about their kid and wanted to go (she wanted to manipulate the child) but Riddle shot that shit down REAL fast

The only one from Riddles family there is his grandma cuz shes not bat-shit insane

I think Trey would be Riddles best man, Jade would be Floyds and one of Cater's sisters husbands was his best man

The weddings aesthetic would be like red and black but also light hints of blue

Floyd would hide lil fish things in the flowers and stuff like the gremlin he is

They had some spicy ramen for Cater since they figured he wouldn't want any of the cake (despite his sisters trying to convince him to eat it)

Heartslabyul were just balling their eyes out during the whole thing and Floyd was the first husband to start sobbing

There were a lot of hugs and kisses throughout the whole thing

Riddle would have trouble convincing himself that this all was real but the moment his boyfriends fed him the first piece of wedding cake he didn't have to convince himself anymore

---------

Leoruggie

Cheka is like the only one from Leona's family there and that's mainly because Ruggie wanted him there

Ruggie on the other hand, has his grandmother and some friends turned family there

Cheka was the flower boy and Ruggie got SO MUCH baby fever

Leona wanted to go all out for the wedding and Ruggie had to talk him down from emptying his bank account, not like that could happen anyway but still!

This is one of the first times Leona has seen Ruggie in a suit that wasn't his or another hand-me-down and Leona had to stop himself from having a nosebleed and making out with him on the alter

Their wedding aesthetic is a lot of warm yellows and dark browns with the light tossing in of white

Oh and also lots of flowers!

The rings are actually quite similar to the promise rings Ruggie got them (see my valentines day post) but with bigger stones and their names engraved on the inside

They went all out on the food and that is a fact

I feel like they wouldn't do best mans, they just don't like people enough to want one

Leona doesn't take his hand off of Ruggie's waist the whole night and Ruggie later jokes about Leona calling him the clingy one, "You really are just a big kitten, y'know?"

Leona denies this but is a massive hypocrite when they get home

------

Jamikali (with a Jamikaliace one)

Kalim is the happiest he could ever be and Jamil is just happy that his husband is so happy

Jamil's father is a shitbag so his mother and Najma are the only ones from his side there

Lilia is Kalim's best man and Floyd is Jamil's best man

The wedding is actually not that grandiose, at least not by some standards, its an outdoor wedding in spring and its very pretty

They don't do wedding rings, they instead do armlets, they already had matching armlets to begin with so they felt it would be better

Vil did Kalim's makeup for the wedding and Jamil was so flustered, his husband looked so pretty in his suit, the veil and the makeup just made him look like he was handcrafted by whatever gods there are

Jamil made all the food, he ain't letting anything be poisoned... He still taste tested everything

Everyone there (that wasn't family) would tell you that was the first time they've seen Jamil have a smile that wasn't snarky but Kalim just laughs at this because hes seen Jamil smile like that all the time, just not infront of the others

Kalim was already very affectionate so Ace and Floyd didn't even question that Kalim had his arms wrapped around Jamil while they talked about stuff

Also if its Jamikaliace its the same basically except its Jamil just trying to control the two from getting drunk off their asses

-----

Malleus x Azul x Idia (this one may be short)

Idia didn't even think of inviting his dad, hes fine with his boyfriends families and Ortho and that's it

Small wedding

The color pallet would be a lot of blues, with green only in the flowers and stuff. They wanted more but it looked weird that way

Yuu (MC) was Malleus's best man, Jade was Azul's, and Ortho was Idia's best man

Have yall seen people wear hoodies to weddings? Yeah they wore casual clothes since Idia doesn't really like suits, it had similar parts to his suit in the Groom for a Day event but it was mainly just casual

Floyd did a weird af toast

Jade hid those small little mushroom things around the place

Someone left a ferby as an unmarked wedding gift

--------

Rook x Vil

They had a small makeshift wedding

His dad would have had it filmed and put on tv. While Vil wouldnt have minded it if it was anything else, Vil had to draw a line somewhere and also it kind of made Rook uncomfortable

The only people there were their kids

Trey heard of the thing and made them a small cake and some cupcakes for the event

Rook dried the flowers Vil gave him that morning

The wedding was in their backyard, it was very pretty but still

Everyone on Magicam was very worried about Vil going on a hiatus but it turns out he and Rook were on a honeymoon and he was disguised so nobody recognized him

If they didn't need to do anything the morning after (like write Trey a thank you letter and y'know shower and eat) Rook would have been laying with Vil all day

Much wine, like bottles on bottles of it, also a very nice cheese + meat platter

-----

Enjoy! These were very fun to think about :> -Amber

[limitlessgojo]

Sky High

Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate Deleted Excerpts

Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader,

WARNINGS: Suggestive content, Flashing

Taglist: @fkngkumiko @gojoussunglasses @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife

Notes: This is a deleted excerpt because I honestly felt that the story was getting too long ><;; To be honest I planned for Blood bound to be at around 15k words but I enjoyed writing it so much that it went to 20k to 35 to 40k to nearly 50k before I knew it. I scrapped a lot of scenes cos it wouldn't end otherwise ehe.

Happy reading!

BTW! This comes after the Kyoto Tokyo Goodwill event.

Chapter 12.5: Sky High

There was one very important thing you had to do.

You went up and stood at the very edge of the highest building. You can see the other students down at the ground.

This was something you've been putting off. You have to conquer your fear of heights. For goodness sake you're an esper, it should be natural to fly high in the sky yet you limit yourself to a few inches off the ground.

“Oi! Angel!” You quickly turned around to see Noritoshi looking panicked. “Get away from the edge, why do you look like you’re considering falling to your death?”

You tilted your head amusedly at him.

"Angel, talk to me. Are you not feeling well? I can help." He had one hand cautiously outstretched to you.

You still found it funny how he now takes to calling you his angel when it’s just the two of you after you told him about his embarrassing moment when he was loopy on sedatives.

"Noritoshi, it's okay. I’m just learning how to fly. This is how birds learn to fly, no? You know my power anyways. I'll be okay. Trust me." He didn’t look convinced, looking at you with fear in his eyes.

But before he could say another word you turned around and stepped off the building.

Gravity pulled at you, making you shoot downwards incredibly fast, you were used to hovering for a bit above ground, but this was new. Something you’ve never tried before.

It wasn't like you couldn't do it. Just your fear was pushing you back from doing so much with your gifts. You're blessed to have a family who understands your anxiety, but it's time you've gotten over your fears.

You realized the ground was coming up at you quickly. ‘Pull up pull up pull up or you’ll fucking die-’

“Twister.” You enveloped yourself with your tornado and shot forward into the trees. ‘Up’. You were now shooting up high into the sky.

Great, so you can fly. With your eyes sealed shut like you put glue on it.

You opened your eyes to see how high you were and it was wayy up there. Your breathing quickened.

You gasped out. How do you stop?! How does Satoru do that? Your thoughts are jumping miles per millisecond. He can levitate.

It’s do or die, you’re literally hundreds of feet up in the air. ‘Halt’.

You applied your cursed technique onto your body. It was like when you create your warping space barrier around you to stop attacks from hitting you. But now, you imagined yourself floating inside a bubble.

You froze midair. Standing high above the edge of the school border. You thanked Tengen sama’s barrier techniques to keep you out of sight from ordinary mortals. It would be so weird to see a floating person.

You gently took a step forward, focusing with all your might on your technique to let you float. One step. Two steps.

You huffed out a laugh and sat down in midair. The view was stunning. With your cursed energy enveloping you, you felt your fear slowly dissipate. ‘Ah right, Noritoshi,’ you turned around and he was still there on the rooftop. Still staring at you.

With a burst of confidence you leapt and flew over to him, a whirlwind forming upon your landing. “Noritoshiii~~~~~ Didya see me? I did it!” you poked at his forehead. He looked stunned and his face was a deep red. As soon as you came up close he quickly closed his eyes and looked upwards. Why?

“Angel… your skirt…. when you flew up…. it….”

AW SHIT! You screamed into your hands and the birds nearby flew away from you at the sound. He pulled you to him and covered your body with his wide sleeves as though it would change the situation. All while still blushing badly and looking away from you. “Next time… use pants …. when you fly…”

“Huhuhuuuuu I’m sorryyyyyy” You cried out embarrassedly as Noritoshi absentmindedly patted you on the head. He felt like he was going to have a nosebleed from the sight he just saw.

◇◇◇

That is now your most embarrassing moment on campus. The few people who saw you fly included Mechamaru, Mai and Todo and they didn’t hesitate to gossip about it. You hated the way they teased you about it.

“It’s okay Y/n chan. I always wear shorts underneath my dress when I fly. You should start doing the same.” Momo hugged you.

She was adorable. “Thank you Momo senpai, you’re the only nice one. Everyone else has been teasing me about it.” you fake sobbed.

Your only consolation was how everyone teased Noritoshi about enjoying the view. He would always furiously blush, look away and leave the room or forcibly change the topic of conversation.

He was cute to the point it was so endearing. But he wouldn’t ever tell you or anyone how he enjoyed that moment, hating himself for feeling like a total perv.

Author's notes: what kind of underwear were you wearing? Regular white? Black lace? Blue with frills? Cream coloured silk? See-through? A thong? It's all up to your interpretation🤣

[riisinaakka-draws]

1st part of my old Black Sails scraps and doodles from 2016–2021. Not in any particular order.

This post has a glimpse to one of my BS binders with the most less-effort-and-crack-idea doodles. Also lots of puns and the Walrus crew shenanigans. Flint is a dick and Billy is tall and Silver keeps bringing the parrot into canon one way or another.

And of course, please, do not steal and repost elsewhere! But if you do get inspired, feel free to make your own interpretations! :)

I put them under the cut, because this is a very long post!

Puns with “Black Sails” lead of course to all kinds of things, one of which ended up becoming the Full Walrus Speed! comic (2018). Here I was thinking how to convey “the scarf sails” with Silver as he sneaks out at night to test Flint’s words (and how the wind keeps blowing “the sail” onto his face) although it didn’t end up in the finished comic.

There’s also Eleanor holding a chart with Vane’s name and “black sales” as he wasn’t doing so well. The Death is sailing a variation the trash raft with “black sails” as it did in this other art: The Death following the Walrus (2016).

There’s also a comic with Flint, Thomas and Abigail’s letter, but that’s gonna be it’s own post when I finish it (but wanted to mention it here as it was related to these). It includes “Block Spoils”, “Block Soils”, and 2 x “Bleak Seals” ;)

“I’m going to make you the Princes of the New World!”  and some of the Walrus crew as “princes”. Flint made them paper crowns and these were the very first BS doodles I ever drew, or at least one of the firsts (no date written tho). This was done right after I watched the first episode and when I got the spark that this show was going to be something... truly spectacular.

Also I hadn’t drawn anything for months (closer to a year) and even holding a pen and the thought of drawing anything felt almost nauseating at the time (I was crawling through depression) but I just had to do something with the excitement. And doodling ended up helping me a lot to get back on my feet, so thousands thanks, Flint’s bloody feral face (and billion thanks to Black Sails fans who have encouraged me during all these years!).

Around early season 3 by the looks of it. Doodling cool Flint with a felt tip and then the parrot and goofy Silver photobombed. The parrot is parroting Flint of course. I was wondering if they were going to include the bird in the show and this is how it manifested.

Season 1. “Framing problems” inspired by the scene with Flint and Billy (although in the doodle there’s also Silver’s top of the head)

...because the height difference and I wondered if it was hard to get them fit into the same frame lol

I love Silver’s face here and the sock-parrot although I didn’t even bother with Flint here other than the pose. This lead to the art: “Let Me Tell You A Story...” (2018) although the composition changed. Tbh I like this version a bit more in retrospect but I coudn’t make it work with the hammock/pallet at the time... Silver is trying to cheer up Flint.

Half way through of this post, btw!

Alternative scenes for this art: ”Neverland!crack!AU!” (2017) which features Captain Silver Hook, Billy Pan and Ginger Bell.

The texts are the bolded parts:

Gates dreamed it (he wakes up in cold sweat and is like NO.)

Israel Hands as Smee, and another one where Dufresne is Smee. Silver as Captain Hook as in the art too, although here it’s very obscure.

Billy as Peter Pan + lost boys and Silver saying “I thought you never grow up” and it ended up in the final piece too, but a bit differently.

Some texts in the lower left corner: “Robert Stevenson and Bay roll in their graves” (uh..Michael Bay? He’s not dead. I guess I added Bay later and lost the thought anyway)

“The hyena guy laughed when I was doodling these at 2 am” (I had a weird neighbour at the time and he’d randomly laugh like a hyena at nights and it happened again while I, too, was sniggering at my late night silly doodles because I couldn’t sleep). I didn’t bother to start cropping this snippet out :)

“Flint as Tinkerbell” and “Only one emotion per time, needs to be believed” (in). Here’s a close up:

The other doodle is Flint sleeping, because instead of Mr. Gates, maybe Flint dreamt this weird au with the faces of people around him. Silver (or Billy? Gates?) is trying to wake him up and he mumbles “Mmmh, NO, don’t throw food around” (this was a nod to the movie “Hook” and the Lost Boys waisting food in that one dinner scene).

“No, I’m the fairy!” (I can’t remember was I thinking of someone else to be Tinkerbell at the time or maybe it was because I was also thinking Flint as Hook? but instead he “wanted” to be Ginger Bell in his dream instead so...) and “Fuck you England crocodile!” (who’d be the antagonist in this au).

Mr. Gates: “Look at my lad!”

“The reason why Billy didn’t have a beard in early seasons.”

...was because otherwise he might have been pressured to style it like his father figure, lol. Also *sob* with Gates gone, Billy’s beard became wild in the show as the time goes on (remember beard of betrayl?).

Flint, after the fight with Singleton, here sleeping peacefully with a nosebleed. The text (someone saying it): “Gross.”

Flint: “I think I was in heaven for a sec” (because he bumbed into Billy). “It felt like hitting a brick wall”. Texts: Flint being a dick (and blind from blood-loss), and Billy thinking (and getting the idea for the legendary Black Spot early on): “I have been marked... with a red spot“ (and it’s his doom).

In the left corner: “favourite Billy Bones face”

inspired by this one:

And the last two doodles for this bunch:

“Someone get me a glass!” ... and the aftermath of Silver shouting for a spyglass and of course the Walrus crew providing “a glass”... which here is an hourglass, a wine glass and another one, a magnifying glass, a mirror (looking glass) although at first it was supposed to be an ice cream (Swedish word, because hey, there might be some Swedish pirates on the crew etc..) and some one bringing a glass of water but making it fancier with a coctail umbrella. For their beloved new quartermaster, you know. Oh yeah, and someone threw Dufresne’s glasses at him but they got stuck on the rope.

Aaaand doodles for “A Tattoo Boom on board the Walrus”. Everybody wants a walrus tattoo and there ends up being all kinds of variations on board. Cute ones, sexy ones, creepy ones, and so on, all featuring a walrus in some form xD

For a long time I was going to draw this properly but never really got into it, so feel free to draw bunch of pirates with cool Walrus tattoos if you need something to draw! (or need an excuse to practise anatomy, as I was planning to do...lol) :D

Thanks for reading, I hope you had fun <3

[makeste]

BnHA Smash!! 01 and 02: Smash!!Might is a Fucking Menace

okay, so. I have about a million other things I should be doing instead, including (1) responding to asks and/or finishing in-progress metas, (2) reading Vigilantes, and last but not least, (3) actually making a dent in the ever-increasing backlog of Actual Work That I Really Should Be Doing Instead.

so naturally I’m procrastinating by taking my first stab at reading BnHA’s cute 4-panel omake spinoff series, BnHA Smash!! IT JUST MAKES SENSE. look, I have exactly one thing I felt like actually doing and not procrastinating today, so I might as well do the thing. basically it’s my attention span’s world and I’m just living in it.

anyway! so apparently this series was scanlated by good ol’ Fallen Angels. that’s right; prepare yourselves for some very creative cursing, fellas. other background info for anyone who, like me, is unfamiliar with this spin-off: this series debuted on November 9, 2015, a little over a year after the original series. said original series was currently at chapter 66, meaning the Final Exam arc was just wrapping up.

so now that we’re all properly oriented, let me go over a few disclaimers real quick and then we’ll get started!

all comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.

I’m aware that not everyone may be familiar with Smash!! even if they’ve read/watched the original series, so I’ve tried to make this recap comprehensible even if you haven’t read the spin-off. that being said, it’s probably more enjoyable if you have, so you can either purchase the first volume from Viz here, or read the chapter online (I don’t want to link directly, but the spin-off is available on most of the usual sites. literally just google “read mha” and you’ll find some good options).

this readthrough contains a handful of sorta-kinda spoilers for the BnHA manga, although there are no direct spoilers. just an indirect reference to a joke in chapter 242, as well as a reference to a theory which as of now is in no way canon. but just to be on the safe side I’m posting a heads-up.

and I think that’s it! so here we go.

so we’re opening with a brief summary of the series. people have superpowers and shit’s nuts. you know the drill

there’s also a brief description of the way that the superhero economy works, complete with Mt. Lady’s employees unionizing and demanding better pay

...what

guys I keep staring at this and thinking that surely, SURELY it doesn’t say what I think it says. sidekick... what... manager??

you know what? Viz unfortunately doesn’t include this series as part of their subscription package (WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR, VIZ), but it does at least include a free preview of Smash, and I bet you that this, the first fucking page of the series, is a part of that preview. so... let’s see...

okay, see, this actually makes sense! so did the FA scanlating team collectively all have a fucking stroke?! just, what??

this is one of the reasons why I had difficulty reading Vigilantes too, tbh. those early chapter scans were, uh. but at least Vigilantes has a Viz scanlation too. I don’t want to spend 10 bucks just to read one volume of this, but we’ll see. anyways

so now there’s a strip about baby!Izuku watching his favorite clip of All Might saving one hundred people from a bus accident or whatever

lol Inko you should not have left your shrewdly calculating four-year-old son unattended omg

TWELVE MONTHS’ WORTH OF TEXTBOOKS HOW CAN THIS EAGER YOUNG MIND RESIST

and this is why you don’t leave your credit card info saved on the computer when you have kids. life lessons learned today

this is the first indicator we have ever had that baby!Izuku wasn’t perfect and was, in fact, capable of being a little shit and giving his mom plenty of gray hairs in his own special way. ngl, I fucking love it

also 12,800 yen is about $118 USD, which is honestly a really good deal for a year’s worth of textbooks. he got three boxes of books! I just googled the average cost of college textbooks, and the google article said the average student spends about $1200 a year. so this is a fucking steal tbh

OH MY GOD INKO HOW MANY TIMES MUST HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF BEFORE YOU LEARN

at least install a fucking adblocker ffs. you’re lucky quirk supplement ads are the worst of the ads he’s getting! PARENTAL CONTROLS

now we are cutting to a comic about baby!Izuku defending another boy from my problematic fave, as seen in page one of the original series!

lmaooo

I’m not clear on how much of this spin-off can actually be considered canon. my understanding is that it is Horikoshi-reviewed and approved, even though he doesn’t actually write it. but it’s obviously a humor series, so a lot of it is just going to be jokes. that being said, I think my approach is going to be “if it’s not completely ridiculous and doesn’t contradict the actual manga, go ahead and consider it canon”

(ETA: I might change this up after reading the first two chapters. most of these strips would have terrifying implications if they were actually canon sob.)

anyhoo, this actually does contradict the manga in that we saw this encounter play out very differently. but I kind of wish it was canon regardless because looool. these cocky preschoolers and their fucking Battle Tears

the next comic is Mt. Lady accidentally stepping on a guy’s face and the guy being way too fucking happy about it (read: having a fucking nosebleed and taking an upskirt shot). we’re just going to skip this entirely. this is another problem I was having with Vigilantes too. you know, for all my complaints about Mineta and such, BnHA as a whole is so much tamer than it could be, and I need to give Horikoshi credit for that. he mostly knows where to draw the line, and to his credit he’s also much, much better about this kind of thing than he was when he first started. maybe Mineta’s standings in the character poll results are helping to clue him in

anyway, I’ll mostly just skip past the iffy stuff because I don’t have patience for it and there’s still plenty of other stuff to cover. so on to the next strip

which features a bunch of reporters fawning over Mt. Lady’s flashy quirk while Kamui Woods laments in the shadows

and yet we know this kid will have a prominent rise within the next six months. it’s so strange to revisit the start of the series and see how much things have changed in such a short time

oh my god

no one who dresses up as a giant mushroom could possibly have good intentions. I. just

and look at the fucking disappointment in Deku’s eyes. KAMUI WOODS HE BELIEVED IN YOU!

now some strange man is coming up to Deku and is all HEY YOU, YOU’RE A HERO OTAKU, TELL ME WHAT TO BUY MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. better not ask him unless you’re prepared to shell out $120 bucks for some fucking textbooks

hey, what!!

WE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO SEE WHAT HE BOUGHT HIM? unless it’s the action figure the kid appears to be holding? but I’m just going to go ahead and assume Izuku recommended the number one best gift that any seven-year-old child would love, i.e. a giant sword

now it’s a sludge monster omake!

so Izuku is trudging home all depressed after CERTAIN INCIDENTS, and Sludgey is glooping his way out of a sewer towards him

oh no All Might

my biggest takeaway from this is the fact that the entire second half of chapter one takes place after All Might has emerged from a fucking sewer. I forgot all about that somehow. or maybe it never fully processed until just now. but omg. this entire chapter must have smelled so fucking bad. these poor kids

wow All Might

sure called that one wrong. ah well nobody’s perfect

looooool

lmao, Smash!!All Might appears to be quite a bit more vain than the original. wow dude

btw, friendly reminder (and I think this is something that was actually pointed out to me after one of the recaps; that’s one of my favorite things about doing these) that All Might, after saving Deku, actually read his notebook before signing it. super-fast, I guess, because he’s the best. but yeah, so he knew exactly how smart and observant Deku was, and how much he wanted to be a hero. his decision to pick him as his successor didn’t just come out of the blue; even before the “my body moved on its own” thing, there was a lot Deku had going in his favor. this is one of those little details of which BnHA has so many, and which I love

lmao what the fuck

ngl this version of the series would have been amazing in its own way. but yeah. so this is why we clearly can’t assume everything in Smash!! is canon lol. but I can already tell I am going to enjoy the shit out of this series

now we’re cutting to Deku running at Sludgey in order to save Kacchan, oh shit. the most dramatic part of chapter one. clearly no moment is sacred

sob what

I don’t understand this strip at all. is this supposed to be a serious moment inserted unexpectedly among this multitude of joke strips? or did I miss the punchline? heeeeelp

(ETA: okay so. my best guess is that All Might wrote all over Deku’s life-saving advice, and so the joke is that Deku no longer knows what to do when assaulting sludge men because HIS NOTES ARE RUINED. idk. what does 25 P mean??)

now All Might has Done The Thing and saved my boys, and now Mt. Lady is helping with the cleanup. scooping up all the bits of sludge and putting it in trash bags

oh my god

nope nevermind. nope. nope

-- shit. okay, you know what? this first chapter has been a real in-your-face reminder of the fact that the sludge monster was not made of cute sparkly 2018-trending-fad slime, but was in fact composed of RAW FUCKING SEWAGE. (ETA: to be clear, I’m pretty sure the joke in this strip is that she accidentally picked up dog-doo during her clean-up. but still, the fact that it was indistinguishable from the rest of the gunk speaks for itself.) I think I forced myself to gloss over this fact originally due to the nope factor. but just. Izuku and Katsuki were both choking to death on this shit?? and just, how the fuck did they make it out of this not traumatized

and also, like. All Might was straight up going to leave Izuku alone afterwards, just, “well enjoy your autograph, fine citizen” and blasting off out of there. and everyone fucking saw Katsuki almost suffocate to death later on, and after giving him a pat on the back they fucking let him go off on his own too? and you can’t even make the argument that this was Just Another Day In Quirk Society either, because more than a year later, Katsuki is still a bona fide fucking celebrity from the media coverage of his attack. it clearly was not something that happens every day. in conclusion, these kids are resilient as fuck, and thank god for that because people apparently just do not give a shit, holy christ

anyway. at least Mt. Lady had gloves

OH MY GOD

I FUCKING KNEW IT OH MY GOD. THE ROIDS. MUSCLES LIKE THAT DON’T JUST GROW ON TREES, I DON’T CARE HOW MANY LBS OF GARBAGE THIS KID HAULED OFF THE BEACH. THIS BOY BEEN HITTIN THE JUICE

Smash!!Might is so fucking shady omfg. probably sells cheap counterfeit electronics on Amazon

oh shit and that’s the end of the fucking chapter lol. that’s it?? that was only eight pages. fuck it, let’s read another. but first here’s Horikoshi’s note on the spin-off

so he really feels that Neda gets the spirit of the series and understands him. that’s very encouraging. the best spoofs and parodies are done out of love. I really think I’m going to enjoy this series

so! onward to chapter two

so here’s All Might dressed as Mr. 2 Bon Clay from One Piece, I guess??

“you know what’s funny? dressing a man in girl’s clothes LOL.” guys can we grow the fuck up. and also acknowledge that All Might can look good in anything, so this questionable gag wouldn’t have even landed anyway. you work that tutu All Might

lmao check out the past users of OFA here

All for One for All theory fucking confirmed lol. just look. that’s him in the back of the conga line. clearly

so Deku is all “hell yes why would I possibly say no??” but then

HIS LIMBS. lmao. sign here

in all seriousness, given the shit this kid has been through since the part of the series, All Might probably should have gotten him to sign a liability waiver of some sort. not that it would have stood, since Deku is underage! anyways Deku you totally have grounds to sue the shit out of the Symbol of Peace should you ever choose to do so. and the trend of Smash!!Might being shady af continues yes please give me more I love it

so now All Might is giving Deku his fitness plan which has a really elaborate name

given that this is Smash!!Might, I can’t help but wonder if this plan is in actuality some sort of MLM scheme. All Might are you trying to get Deku to do Herbalife

lol what in the fuck

the original series skipped right over a hell of a lot, it would seem. like the time Deku traveled to Arizona and fought coyotes in a poncho

I’m starting to suspect that Neda-sensei might be on some sort of substance. “let’s see what jokes can I make about chapter 2 of BnHA. I know, I’ll send the protagonist to a fictionalized version of the American Southwest in a sombrero, and then turn him into a 65-year-old oil tycoon.” naturally

lmao that’s really it, that’s the strip. moving right along. okay??

now Izuku is staring at the intimidating piles of Beach Trash and is all “I HAVE TO PICK ALL THIS SHIT UP?”

omg Deku no

somebody call Marie Kondo. Deku none of this is salvageable. not even to reuse in a color page photoshoot spread four years from now

OH SHIT

PROVED ME WRONG OH SNAP. SHOWED ME RIGHT WHERE I COULD PUT THOSE SASSY TAKES. MY BAD DEKU I’M SORRY

anyways I don’t know what Smash!!Might is so upset about. he probably wove some kind of clause into the contract Deku signed that allows him a percentage of the profits. unless Deku already spent it all on textbooks

what the fuck is this fucking series lmao

time for a round of “what is All Might casually crushing in this panel?” is it (a) a cardboard box, or (b) like, a mini-fridge or some fucking shit. IT COULD BE EITHER. IT MAKES EQUALLY AS MUCH SENSE EITHER WAY. “HEROES THESE DAYS ARE [FLEEEEEEX] OBSESSED WITH BEING FLASHY” 

holy shit no wonder he ran away to the Sierra Nevada. it’s only a matter of time before this freak fucking kills someone

NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO KAMUI WOODS DRESSED LIKE A DAFFODIL, IN THE SAME FUCKING COMIC STRIP, BECAUSE REASONS

my jokes about the mangaka being high as a fucking kite when he wrote this are gradually becoming less jokes and more serious inquiries??

lol so he coincidentally just stumbled across All Might and Deku at this exact moment

AND IT WAS A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR OH MY FUCKING GOD

do you guys remember during the final exam when All Might beat the everloving shit out of Deku and Kacchan, and everyone was all “JESUS CHRIST WOULD YOU LEARN TO FUCKING HOLD BACK A LITTLE THEY ARE CHILDREN YOU MANIAC.” but now we can see plain as day that he was, in fact, holding back. anyways Smash!!Might is terrifying as shit and if this had been the main series I would have already pegged him as the final villain by this point

here he is now wearing an old-timey bathing suit but looking more like an escaped convict than anything else

this panel is actually canon. I’ve decided. this 100% definitely happened at some point. especially the swimsuit

now two bikini babes are walking up and they’re all “IS THAT ALL MIGHT??” with excited sparkly eyes because they don’t know that he’s actually a deranged con artist who crushes refrigerators like empty soda cans. this spin-off has truly opened my eyes

LOOK AT THIS SKEEVY FUCK. JUST LOOK

AND NOW HE’S RUNNING OFF AND LEAVING DEKU TO DROWN IN EXHAUSTION, SON OF A

“SUDDEN BUSINESS” KSJLDKF SMASH!!MIGHT IS A FUCKING MENACE TO SOCIETY AND ALSO DOES NOT GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. NOT ONE!! HE’S OUT THERE FUCKLESS, AND NO ONE IS SAFE

now Deku is approaching his mom all serious and says he wants to change up his diet

and she’s looking at the menu he prepared all impressed and thinking that she might join him. as long as it’s for your health, Inko. if this manga starts making jokes about your weight, I will beat it over the head with Deku’s textbooks

OMFG

THIS WENT IN THE EXACT OPPOSITE DIRECTION I WAS EXPECTING, AND THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I’VE EVER READ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. the whole fucking family is on the juice. and the fucking mangaka is on some special juice of his own oh my stars

now we’re cutting to Mt. Lady stomping on a car

thank fuck no one was actually in there. also does she not wear shoes

and also, it only just occurred to me that she must be another person with a special quirk costume, because her suit shrinks and expands along with her. Hagakure and Momo are really getting shafted by the costume design team here. they need to fire some people

anyway so Mt. Lady slipped on this carelessly placed vehicle and fell down and crushed an entire building whoops

bruh, you think you’re “ow.” let’s hope that building was empty too

and now she’s toppling another building just fucking because, I guess. and saying she can’t do urban areas

lmao and now the sidekick [CENSORED] manager from chapter one is back to guilt-trip her omg

I need this man to show up in every freaking chapter. please. respect my wishes

and now Izuku is standing on top of his collected pile of garbage screaming in victory

I only just realized that there’s still a big old Pile O’ Trash on this beach, though. someone needs to haul all of this junk away. or else get All Might and Mt. Lady to crush it all with a combined effort

oh shit here it comes y’all, the famous “eat my hair” scene. potential comedy gold right here omg

lol what the fuck

this man is a fucking billionaire and he’s out here clipping coupons and deleting pictures of his son in order to make room for them smdh

okay now we’re doing the hair scene

oh. oh no. I know where this is going sob please keep this comic rated PG for the children Neda

motherfucker they really --

Smash!!Might is a straight-up felon. this man has no fucking scruples. that’s okay Midoriya-shounen, if you don’t want to eat my hair we could just try some REDACTED, jesus christ I am going to need some bleach for my eyes after this

OR LET’S JUST STRAIGHT UP GO THERE WHY NOT

lmao sob. well, two chapters in and we’ve established that no territory is off-limits here. it’s a brave new world. wow

 so that’s it! our introduction to BnHA Smash!! I enjoyed it a lot and I will definitely be reading more! I’m not sure what kind of schedule I’ll keep, but this is a really good procrastination manga thus far, so knowing me I might actually work my way through this relatively quickly. especially since the Manga At Large is on break this week. anyways my deepest apologies to the many people who have been requesting for me to start Vigilantes instead. I just need something lighter right now, and this is a good fit. one of these days I’ll get my shit together with the other two spinoffs as well.

[clary-jace]

ok because i couldn’t stop thinking about it the other day in my night class, he’s my stranger things/girl meets world au....i am like...in love with this so please.......hear me out 

so riley, zay and smackle are like the trio of the au

riley = mike 

zay = dustin 

smackle = lucas 

so basically farkle is like will and is the forth member of their group and he’s the one that goes missing at the beginning of the au, so get ready for the angst there 

so riley, zay, smackle and farkle are all best friends who are small nerd children, so of course when farkle goes missing, riley zay and smackle all jUMP into action to try and find him 

like in the show, farkle goes missing while they’re playing that game and the whole group is pretty distressed, but smackle takes it the hardest (the smarkle is lit y’all, LIT!!!) 

(the town and adults aren’t really as involved in this au as they are on the show so the au is mainly about the kids reaction, they’re like 13/14 in this) 

so basically after farkle goes missing they all jump into action to try and find him, and like go out late at night to look for him, and riley starts disappearing from her own house which worries her family (cory, topanga, josh - her older bro, and auggie - her younger bro) 

OK SO ONE NIGHT riley is out by herself and stumbles across lucas in the woods after he’s run away from the weird testing facility that he was trapped in 

so YES LUCAS = ELEVEN WHICH FUCKS ME UP 

lucas has been kept in this facility by the “papa” character, who is actually his dad, kenneth, who’s a grade a jackass in this au btw and took lucas away from his mom when he was really little and basically is trying to brainwash him and mind control him to get what he wants and what not

lucas also has mind control powers, which comes in handy later 

so basically when riley comes across lucas, he’s very skittish and doesn’t trust anyone or really want anyone to touch him, but riley is very calm with him 

she brings him into her house and lets him stay in her basement and her parents a lil Skeptical about where all their food is going but riley is like “must take care of him, must protect him” 

lucas also says he thinks he might know where farkle is, which definitely makes riley interested to know more about what he has to say 

zay and smackle are both v v skeptical of lucas when riley introduces them to lucas, and lucas is v v nervous around them and like won’t answer any of their questions and kind of just sits there with a scared look on his face

zay is very much like “riley your parents are already skeptical about you being gone all night looking for farkle they’re gonna kill you when they find out about this, and then all hopes of us finding farkle will be gone” 

so like he’s just concerned about riley getting into more trouble with her parents, and like he’s a little weirded out by lucas, but then he comes around to lucas being around and his curiosity of what lucas knows about farkle gets the best of him 

smackle on the other hand doesn’t want to believe anything lucas says, and doesn’t think that they should trust him at all because, “hello riley you found him wandering around in the woods”

and smackle doesn’t really come around especially after lucas leads them to something that supposedly is supposed to help them find farkle, but just leads them to a dead end and smackle is pretty sure that lucas is just trying to get them all killed 

smackle and riley have a big blow out about it at one point, that lucas overhears, and smackle is like “lucas just wants us all to disappear like farkle did!! he doesn’t care about farkle and he certainly doesn’t care about us!!!” smackle then kind of leaves them for a while because she’s so upset 

riley, while understanding her friends concerns, comes to care deeply about lucas and trusts him, even if he says some weird stuff sometimes (when he does actually talk, which isn’t often) and they form a bond 

it all comes to a head though when all of riley’s frustrations about not finding farkle and smackle leaving them boils over and she ends up snapping at lucas after he claims to be able to help them with something that again leads them to a dead end, after this lucas runs away, thinking that he’s not welcome with her or zay anymore 

lucas really does want to help tho!!! he just doesn’t know exactly how to help them tho!!! he’s trying tho!!! oh boy is he trying!!!!

also zay thinks lucas’ mind control powers are super cool, smackle thinks it’s all a trick of the eye and doesn’t believe it and riley gets super concerned whenever lucas gets one of his nosebleeds 

riley also tries to help lucas acclimate to normal life outside of the facility, and lucas vaguely opens up to her about what happened, but she’s deadass the only person he feels remotely comfortable around

after lucas runs away though, riley and zay continue to look for farkle, but they get cornered by some bullies from their school who try and hurt zay and riley stands up for him, but the bullies can tell that she’s bluffing and basically, they tell her if she jumps off a cliff, they’ll leave zay alone

AND OK ZAY DOESN’T WANT HER TO BUT SHE DOES BECAUSE SHE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER FRIENDS 

but lucas comes back and saves her!!! like he literally saves her life!!! he uses his powers to save her!!!!! 

while he was gone, lucas realized that he needs to help them, he needs to make them believe him again, because they’re his friends and he needs his friends, that’s what they’ve all taught him 

(also imagine the zay/riley/lucas hug that happens after lucas saves her, talk about a ot3 for the ages my friends) 

after riley almost dies, smackle realizes that they all need to work together if they’re going to get farkle back, so she reconciles with riley and her and lucas start to warm up to each other again 

THE GANG IS BACK TOGETHER 

(also sidenote, maya is in this au and she’s josh’s gf and they have a lil side storyline that isn’t plotted out yet, but she’s in this au fam don’t worry) 

then ALL THE SHIT HAPPENS, basically in the end lucas gets found by his father, who wants to take him again and riley basically stands up to his father and tells him that if he wants to take lucas he’s going to have to take her too because she’s not leaving lucas 

rucas are hella protective of each other in this, just so y’all know if that wasn’t obvious 

lucas however, isn’t gonna let himself be all brainwashed and controlled anymore, so he uses his powers on his dad and like throws him back into a wall and almost kills him, it’s beautiful and it’s lucas standing up for himself and riley is a lil scared but also hella proud and then zay is just like “dude that’s crazy” 

BUT doing that kind of takes some of the life out of lucas and then he becomes really weak, especially bc at this same time he’s been entering the upside down looking for farkle and also they’re running away from the demogorgon, which is trying to take them 

ultimately tho, lucas decides that he needs to sacrifice himself to save all of his friends because he’s the one that the demogorgon truly wants, so he kind of just walks into the monster and let’s himself be taken by it

riley is like screaming after him, zay is crying and smackle is just like in complete and total shock

riley tries to chase after him and be taken by the monster too, but zay holds her back and then she starts like Sobbing and falls to the ground 

(there’s a lil running thing that happens after rucas reunites after their fight where they say “where you go, i go” to each other kind of like, we don’t leave each other, so she’s like whispering that to herself as she watches the demogorgon leave and take lucas with it) 

BUT they get farkle back finally and they’re all reunited and it’s super cute and zay tells farkle all about lucas and is like “you two would have been such good friends” and farkle lowkey doesn’t believe he exists but he’s too happy to care bc he’s back with his friends!!! 

when he’s the hospital, smackle holds his hand and is like “i’m really glad that you’re back” and lowkey has tears in her eyes and farkle is like “isadora you’re crying” 

and she’s like “yes but i’m not upset, i promise!!” and wow, smarkle i’m fucking shook 

also there’s a lil rilaya scene, where maya is like basically riley’s big sister bc of her and josh and maya kind of is like “i know about that lucas kid you were hiding in the basement, i’m sure your parents did too, you weren’t subtle about it” and then maya kind of comforts her 

basically everything ends up OK for the gang, but riley still misses lucas and not long before all the shit happens, he gave her this necklace that he found when they were apart that he literally grabbed because it reminded him of her and she wears it everywhere after that 

they probably find each other again at some point BUT IDK I HAVEN’T THOUGHT THAT FAR 

basically, a lot of pain my dudes

i’m dead