#i will be making matt ryan gifs until the day i die

[blueeyedheizer]

little black dress - matt

WARNINGS: none

A/N: this fic radiates big debby ryan awkward glance meme energy,, more cliché you die 🤣 but it’s cute ig?

•••

You sighed in content as you stepped inside the house, finally feeling the warmth embracing your body after being in the cold for so long. Your eyes quickly scanned the room, noticing how packed the place already was. You squeezed your friend's hand a little bit tighter as she made her way through the crowd, dragging you with her while she greeted a few people she knew on her way.

"Do we really have to do this?" you whined, already regretting your decision of tagging along with her.

"Aw come on. This guy's parties aren't something you can miss. We're going to have fun, loosen up babe." she says, briefly looking over her shoulder to look at you. "Besides, Matt's here. You wouldn't want to miss an occasion to talk to him would you?" she winks at you with a smirk, causing you to roll your eyes. You tried to hide your body and tug on your dress as much as you could as you followed her silently. You weren't exactly feeling comfortable in the piece you were wearing, and Clara knew it. You had had a small boost of confidence when she complimented you while you tried it on in front of the mirror earlier, but now that you were actually confronted to a crowd of teenagers while wearing the dress in question it was a whole different story. You had never been comfortable with showing too much skin or just wearing short dresses in general, so this was definitely a first for you. A first and hopefully a last. All your insecurities started to stand out to you and you already felt like all eyes were on you.

"Hey guys! Look who I brought!" Clara exclaimed happily as you made your way into the living room where a small group of your people were gathered. Her voice obviously caught everyone's attention and they all turned to you.

Oh great. Exactly what I needed, you thought.

The room soon erupted in cheers as you made your way over to the couch, chuckling at their reaction. Most of them were already tipsy, chugging their cups of alcohol in one take like it was water. Clara took a sit next to you and squeezed your thigh with a wink, obviously referring to Matt who was sat on the couch opposite to yours. She was quick to join everyone else's fun, leaving you to awkwardly sit on your own, trying your best to make yourself small and not draw any attention on yourself.

But when the group decided to play a game of truth or dare, you had no choice but to join in. You couldn't think of any excuse to get out of the situation, therefore there was no escape for you.

The game went by, and so far the bottle still hadn't landed on you. Some spins were close, but they always ended pointing on Clara or Diana, your friendly neighbor that was sat just a little further away from you. She was a good friend of yours, probably a better friend than Clara.

People were sent for seven minutes in heaven, girls were dared to take off their bras without taking off their top, guys were dared to make out with their best friends, and each spin of the bottle was followed by a shot of whatever liquid was inside their cup. It was quite entertaining, to say the least. But that was until Matt got dared to kiss Emma. When that happened, you got up to get yourself another drink in the kitchen. You were already feeling down and you really didn't feel like watching them suck face.

Now it was Clara's turn to spin the bottle. She gave it a firm flick and everyone cheered as it spun and spun, until it landed on Emma.

"Truth or dare?" Clara asked, dragging out the words and smirking. She rested her head in her hands as she looked back at Emma, waiting for her answer like a child would wait for the clock to strike midnight on christmas day. Emma pretended to think for a moment, biting her bottom lip before giving her answer.

"Dare."

You grabbed your beer from the table and placed it to your lips, taking a small chug and fighting back the urge to roll your eyes at her manners.

"Seven minutes in heaven with Matt."

You choked on your drink, eyes widening as everyone started whistling and cheering. The girl next to you rubbed your back, asking if you were okay. You nodded and gave her a small smile before watching as Emma dragged a slightly hesitant Matt to the nearest room. You made eye contact with him before Emma dragged him away and forced him to look back at her when he looked in your direction.

When they were out of your sight, you grabbed Clara's arm and forcefully turned her towards you. God, sometimes you wondered why you were still friends with her.

"Are you fucking serious?" you whisper-yelled, making sure only she could hear you.

"What? They've already kissed! Might as well let them have fun." she giggled drunkenly. You let go of her arm and fell back against the couch, trying to fight back your tears. "Jesus, don't be so uptight, Y/N." she rolled her eyes before taking a long drag of her cigarette. You heard her mumble something that you didn't quite catch, but it surely wasn't anything nice.

After a moment you felt a hand on your shoulder. Diana had moved to sit beside you after hearing your conversation. She knew of your crush on Matt, and she clearly wasn't approving of Clara's whole demeanour. She rubbed your shoulder soothingly and gave you a sympathetic smile, which you returned before leaning against her shoulder.

-

"Y/N, babe, why don't you go get the two lovebirds?" One of Emma's friends slurred, smirking at you before taking another chug of her beer. You clenched your jaw at the nickname she gave you and had to stop yourself from making a scene when you heard Clara snort beside you. You scoffed and was about to get up, but Diana placed a hand on your knee to stop you.

"I can do it if you'd like." you gave her a small smile and shook your head no. You genuinely appreciated her offer, but you didn't want to let them win.

"I'll be fine. Thanks Di."

Then you made your way over to the small cramped room.

You didn't know what you were expecting, but you felt your heart drop down your stomach as you opened the door. Emma's arms were wrapped around Matt's neck, her lips firmly locked with his as she pressed her body against his. It took a few more seconds for them to notice you. Emma pulled away and smirked at you before wiping the corner of her mouth with her thumb and readjusting her dress, meanwhile Matt just stared at you with wide eyes and parted lips.

"Seven minutes is up." You didn't even try to hide the sadness in your voice as you spoke. After all, Matt didn't know of your feelings for him so you could've been sad for any reason. You quickly turned on your heels, returning towards the living room.

When you got back, Clara was passed out on the sofa, her cup still in hands. You sat down next to Diana again, your throat now hurting from holding back tears; you just wanted to go home and scream into your pillow.

Matt and Emma were soon back on the couch and you watched as she clung onto him, giggling as she started chatting with some other girls. Matt didn't seem to return any of her affection though.

"I'll get another drink." you told Diana with a small forced smile, which she returned with a sympathetic one, followed by a nod.

-

"This fucking bitch." you cursed, leaning against the counter and clenching your fists. You weren't exactly sure wether you were referring to Emma or Clara, but either way worked. You lowered your head and squeezed your eyes shut, allowing your tears to finally break free. Grabbing a glass from the counter, you poured yourself some water and downed it quickly, sighing with relief as the liquid cooled your throat.

"Y/N..." you jumped slightly and quickly wiped your cheeks with the back of your hands but kept your face hidden. "Are you alright?"

"Why do you care, Matt." you said harshly, but he could hear the hurt in your voice loud and clear. You made sure your cheeks were dry and finally turned around to face him, crossing your arms over your chest in the process. Matt sighed and took a few hesitant steps toward you.

"Look, can we— can we talk?"

"What is there to talk about?"

"I don't like Emma." your eyebrows furrowed and you looked down to avoid eye contact, holding your arms closer to yourself as you felt your cheeks start to heat up.

"Why are you telling me that?" you spoke hesitantly. Matt took a few steps closer to you and reached for your cheek. You froze when his thumb started softly brushing over your skin.

"Diana told me." your eyes widened at his words and your head snapped up to meet his own again. You could handle being betrayed by Clara, but Diana?

"What, what did she tell you?"

"Hey, relax." he chuckled at your reaction, brushing a strand of hair off your face.

"Matt, what did she tell you?" he didn't answer. Instead, he leaned forward and placed a quick yet soft kiss on your lips. Your eyes were wide open as he pulled away, mouth parted and arms still crossed over your chest. You stared at him silently, not knowing what to do or say.

After a moment you snapped out of your daze and lunged foward to connect your lips with his again, this time letting your arms move around his neck while his hands pulled you closer by your waist. Your head tilted to the side as the kiss deepened, fingers moving to slowly drag through his hair, body now fully pressed against his. You moaned softly into the kiss as he hooked his hands under your thighs and lifted you up onto the counter without breaking the kiss.

You made out for a solid minute until you eventually pulled away reluctantly for much needed air. You stayed close still, panting lightly against each other's lips until his own moved to your neck, peppering the lightest kisses over your warm skin and leaving small love bites here and there. Your small sighs and whimpers of appreciation didn't go unnoticed as you felt him smirk against you before he pulled away and pressed one last kiss to your lips.

"I'm sorry about Emma." he said, gently taking your chin between his fingers. "I'd much rather have spent those 7 minutes with you." he smirked.

"And I'd much rather have spent them with you instead of imagining you and Emma sucking face in that cramped closet while my so-called friend made me feel like pure shit."

Matt's hands rose to cup your cheeks. "Fuck them." he murmured against your lips before claiming them in a deep kiss, which you gladly returned.

His eyes moved from your eyes, down your body then back up after he pulled away, a small smirk adorning his features.

"I love the dress, by the way."

→ feedbacks are more than welcome. Whether it's just a keyboard smash, an emoji or a single world, it's always appreciated and motivating. ♡

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Tess you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Alastor Moody!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

Alastor is a character that I know we have all been keen to see on the dash, even more so when it means an old member is returning to us! Your app was fantastic and went into such detail that it gave us a really clear idea of who he is as a person and what motivates him, it was truly a pleasure to read! I don’t think I can pick out just one thing that I loved when all of it was so wonderful, from the expansion of his traits to the writing sample and his reaction to the most recent plot drop it was all so well thought out and developed. We’re thrilled to have you bakc, Tess! *your faceclaim change to Gael García Bernal has been accepted

application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Tess, 21 years old, she/her, pacific time, USA.

ACTIVITY

I’m not going back to school until the fall so I have more time than originally expected. I’m able to log in daily, since the threads on this group tend to be on the longer side I’m contemplating I’ll be able to get at least one reply a day.

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

I’m a former member but originally through the tags.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Hedwig because I too would die for Harry Potter. No but really I think I identify the most with Bill Weasley, mainly because I always liked the career of curse breaker and I think that going far away from the family to do something he loved was amazing (and brave).

ANYTHING ELSE?

I’m really hoping to get accepted again. I had an amazing time when I was part of this amazing group last time. I’ve been feeling a little out of it since the baby came and the doctor recommended I do something I love, and getting to write with you all is really one of my favorite things in the world. I hope I get to be a part of this group again!

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Alastor Moody

Alastor: Ancient Greek for “he who does not forget”. Thus “avenger”, “persecutor”, “tormenter”, “one who suffers from divine vengeance”. Which is rather fitting as he made a career out of putting bad guys in jail, when failing to stop them before hurting innocent he made sure to avenge those lives that were lost.

Moody: Temperamental.

FACE CLAIM

Matt Ryan, or Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, or a POC rec from you. Honestly I would be willing to work with whoever you see fit.

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

I have always been a fan of Alastor, I just never had the confidence of playing him before. But with this plot, and everything going on, I couldn’t let the opportunity pass. There’s something about how the order is going to deal with Aversio. Slowly coming to the realization that it is because in a way they were not getting results that this other group decided to come into action. And then there’s the ministry, specially the aurors. I want to have a chance to explore Alastor’s feelings, how he questions if they have been doing a good job training the new recruits. He is going to be set on the fact that Aversio does more harm than good, but there’s going to be something reminding him that if only they had acted sooner, all of this could’ve been prevented. Plus, the paranoia is only going to grow, he now realizes that there’s definitely no one he could trust, he could very well be surrounded by enemies. I felt drawn towards him because he is a good guy through and through, his methods might not be the best, and he is not the nicest guy around, he’s far from it, but he knows what path he wants to follow, he has a clear objective in mind. I hope I get to do him justice the same way he seeks to achieve justice for all those who have been wronged.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

I’m all for Alastor/Chemistry if the opportunity presents. Alastor is way too paranoid to let himself be vulnerable, but with the right development I’ll be on board with a ship. My anti-ship would be something out of character for Alastor, like death eaters. Alastor is a cis-male and uses he/him pronouns.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

-A MOODBOARD ( here )

-AN AESTHETIC ( here )

-A PLAYLIST

For Those Below – Mumford & Sons

Pompeii – Bastille

You Are a Runner, and I Am My Father’s Son - Wolf Parade

Barton Hollow – The Civil Wars

Beat The Devil’s Tattoo - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Warrior - Disturbed

Fears - Serj Tankian

The Kids Don’t Stand a Chance – Vampire Weekend

When The War Came - The Decemberists

Seven Devils – Florence + The Machine

Ready! Aim! Fire! – Imagine Dragons

Knights of Cydonia – Muse

The General - Dispatch

Broken Road - Sully Erna

Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons

-EXPAND ON THE TRAITS ( and here’s a character tropes edit )

✓ Hard-working. He comes from a family of Aurors, both his parents as per canon were Aurors, and I feel like that gives us a glimpse into his early life. It’s like coming from a family of cops, there’s a need to prove you too can achieve greatness while at the same time showing people you have earned the right to where you are, and that it wasn’t given to you because of your family. So Alastor works harder than anyone, since he demands that from people he leads by example.

✓ Great mentor. He will never be one to sugar coat things, but he knows the right way to encourage people. He wants to train London’s best, and he would try his best to make sure that happens. He guides by example, and tries to keep everyone under his watch alive.

✓ Persevering. Linked with hard-work, perseverance is something in Alastor’s nature, he never gives up despite everything that has happened to him. Despite everything that’s happening in the world he will keep pushing forward.

✓ Open-minded. There’s nothing he hasn’t seen, and still believes there’s more to see. Moody likes to keep an open mind, would always listen to someone before making a decision, he’s never one to be prejudiced, as that is what’s killing this society.

✕ Harsh. Greatness is not achieved by babying people, Alastor believes in though love, it’s how he was raised. He has never been one to be tactful and is not going to start now.

✕ Gruff. Life made Alastor into a bitter person, he sounds like he’s always mad, even if deep down he cares about everyone around him, he knows it’s best to keep a rough front.

✕ Paranoid. When someone has lived what he has they would have no trouble believing that is best to be wary and not trust anything or anyone. He is constantly worried someone is going to try and kill him or worst betray him.

✕ Anti-social. He prefers to keep people at arms length, after all no one knows when is the last time he’s going to see them.

-A FEW POTENTIAL PLOT POINTS

connections & wanted plots

&&. KEEP ME GROUNDED Is not that Alastor forgets social niceties and manners, is that he just couldn’t care less whether people likes him or not. Which only leads to him coming off as a straight up asshole on his worse days, and a paranoid grump on a daily basis. He could use someone he respects and is strong enough to call him out when he’s being a jerk. To point out where the line is, and making it clear that it is not okay to cross it.

&&. BROTHERS IN ARMS You are only as good as the person fighting next to you. Someone Alastor had grown to respect and rely on. They might not always have a heart-to-heart about their feelings, but this is one of the few people Alastor knows he can turn to. Whether sharing drinks or just being there for each other, this is one of the few people Alastor can honestly say he trusts.

&&. SURE I’LL TEACH YOU Alastor has a hard time believing anyone in their right mind would chose him as a mentor. The role of mentor and teacher coming easy to him despite originally having being appointed head of the department because there were no other options around. Alastor stepped into the role and with each passing generation he gets better at preparing aurors. Now with the order he had also taken the responsibility to get them ready for a fight he wished they never had to fight. Alastor is always willing to work with anyone who wants to be better prepared and work on refining their technique.

&&. JUST PROMISE YOU WON’T END UP LIKE ME Callous grumpy nature aside, Alastor is a mentor at heart, and sometimes even if it surprises everyone around, he might end up giving some advice to those brave enough to bring up discussing their feelings with him. Rumor says the best time to approach him is when he’s drinking, that’s when he’s more at ease, he might even pour you one. OPEN

&&. FIGHT ME It’s not that he lives to make enemies, that’s just something that happens from time to time. With the wizarding society hanging by a fine thread, and Alastor living up to his last name every day of the week, everyone could easily fall into this category. Whether this is someone who annoys him, like a fellow ministry employee, or someone Alastor would love to punch their teeth out if the opportunity ever were to arise.

&&. NOTHING LEFT TO SAY BUT GOODBYE Alastor was born and raised into the pureblood life. His parents were never pureblood elitists, and coming from a long line of Aurors they had an impeccable reputation. His family was murdered before any of them could be labeled blood traitors. At sixteen Alastor was left to carry one a family legacy. He cultivated many friendships through his childhood and early years in Hogwarts. Some of those friends, that he once considered family, have now turned out to be on the other side of the war. What happens when the person you would take a hit for is the one pointing the wand at you?

&&. I WOULD FOR YOU Alastor’s family was taken from him in the blink of an eye. For years he convinced himself that caring for anyone was only going to end in pain and heartbreak. Despite having friends that he cared for and loved, he always tried to push them and keep them at arms length. After a failed engagement he accepted the fact that he was not meant to have a family. Always the man with the plan, he failed to prepare for what would happen when they wrapped their small hand on his finger. Alastor might never have children of his own, but family has always been about more than blood.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

“This one is easy. A truth spell. And not like that veritaserum rubbish. We all know that bloody thing doesn’t work. But with a proper truth spell, interrogations would go smoothly. And it won’t just benefit the department, but people who are wrongly accused would have a better chance at clearing their name. Of course it should only be used with regulations, there should be training, an official team like the obliviators. Just think about how much good a truth spell could do.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“I see the tactical advantage of having someone when you venture into the Forbidden Forest, but I wouldn’t risk anyone’s life, but if I have to name someone I would pick Minerva or Kingsley. And I’ll take my invisibility cloak.”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“All decisions are difficult to make. But the hardest ones are probably the ones where the only choices you have are bad choices. Because you still have to choose. You still have to make a decision.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

“Why would I bloody care about what people say about me? People are always going to say things about you, no matter what you do. Good things or bad things. You are still going to be judged. You can’t let that stop ya.”

Alastor shifted a little before adding, “…that I didn’t try.”

REACTION TO LAST EVENT DROP

Is no secret that Alastor was never fond of the Ministry of Magic, he never cared much for the bureaucracy and the red tape, but he had been hopeful that with Millicent in charge things would change for the better. The auror department on the other hand, well that was his entire life. Every single person in that office was his responsibility, and Alastor was not there for them. Alastor’s paranoia is through the roof, knowing that Aversio stemmed from the order had already made him doubt everyone around him, but when it was clear that the initial attack to the Ministry had to be aided by someone in the aurors’ department, well that just made him mistrust his own shadow. Alastor is angry, and more determined than ever to put and end to the war. He might not be entirely convinced about letting aversio members join the order, but at least he can keep a close eye on them. After the attack on St. Mungos he’s starting to reconsider his stance on non-lethal, because arresting people is not going to be enough, specially since the death eaters are in power and he knows there’s no way to get justice unless they make their own.

WRITING SAMPLE

They were failing. That much was clear. And in the long list of categories under which a failure could fall, their failures were the worst kind. People were dying left and right. A hate group and a terrorist organization fighting for control, meanwhile the Ministry could barely hold together, let alone put out so many fires. And the order. The order was filled with well intentioned people, kids really, they were mostly kids who had wanted to do good and ended up having to fight a war against two ruthless enemies. If fighting one group had proved to be hard, now, after what Alastor had learned. A house divided could not stand. Aversio had infiltrated the order, that much was clear, and now Alastor could not help but wonder, if the death eaters had someone on the inside too. Concentrating on those particular thoughts were simply maddening. He would rather not think about it, but if he didn’t, then no one would. There was something about human nature that refused to believe someone you care for could betray you. Life had thought Alastor better. Anyone can turn on you at any moment, people are capable of doing all kinds of things under the right pressures. Loyalty for many was a matter of circumstance. There was of course a few that were loyal, to the cause, the people they loved. Those were the ones in the most danger. The ones he worried the most about. And out of those only a few he could really trust. Trust being a term he had not used in a while, and that he was sure he wasn’t using properly. These were difficult times for trust.

Alastor could no longer remember when going to work was just going to work. When it was boring and bureaucratic, and he had to write reports, and his only concern was making sure the trainees completed the program. Now every day was a new tragedy, a new horror to be seen, analyzed, pictures taken and pinned to a wall. Alastor still remembered the day everything changed. And no, it wasn’t the day they told him he had lost his entire family. That had been so long ago, at times he even believed that the person he was at sixteen, before that, didn’t really exist, had not really existed. No. The day everything changed had been but a few years ago. At the time he had been mad, annoyed was more like it, that the auror department had been called into that crime scene when it had been cleared of any dark magic. The auror department was supposed to chase and capture dark wizards and witches, not waste their time with common crimes. But upon arriving Alastor realized that there was something far more dark, something that was about to change their lives.

“Do we keep track of hate crimes?” Alastor had asked, confusion was the only answer he got, “we should start” he had said looking at the crime scene in front of him.

He had been right, everything had changed. A war had started and it had not slowed down. And since that moment the auror department had handled the cases that had fallen under the criteria of the thing propelling this war. Hate.

It was a misconception that people got used to it. Seeing a crime scene, specially one where it’s clear how much hate was behind it. It’s a lie. No matter how many times you walk into a scene there’s a moment when you wonder how can people be capable of so much hate. There’s a moment when for a split of second you wonder what’s the point of fighting back, if all that’s inside someone’s heart is hate. But then the fog clears, and the realization that the point of fighting back if so that this doesn’t happen again. So that the next family is saved from this fate, so that the next person walking alone in an alley makes it home. It felt as if he had not slept in days, but before he could rest, Alastor knew he had to eat. He was in the middle of making diner, and some extra meals he could store for the upcoming days, when he heard a knock. The alarm had not been raised, there was only a handful of people that would be allowed near the perimeter without the defense charms going off. Alastor crossed the room in a few strides and opened the door. Panic was the first thing that came to mind, people usually sent word that they were coming, “is everything okay?” he asked as soon as he opened the door.

//SAMPLE TWO

Alastor let out an annoyed huff. He had been waiting for more than ten minutes now, talk about these people having little regard of the time of others. As he looked around it was more and more evident that he did not belong here, he was not made for this sort of job, he was the kind of person to be out there, getting his hand dirty, doing real work, he had never wanted any of this. A few days ago an owl had arrived at the Ministry, it had been carrying a very urgent letter, it requested Alastor’s presence immediately. He figured it must had been someone high up on the command chain, as he had never been one of the Ministry’s favorites, and yet he had been ordered to leave for America at once. He had offered many good reasons as to why leaving in the middle of the current situation was a bad idea, but as always he had been tasked to do the trip anyways. At least he made it clear that he was not going to play along or be nice to whoever was waiting for him. He was not one to care about diplomacy when they had so more pressing issues at hand. Now as he waited in this pristine lobby, full of people is expensive suits, he was glad he didn’t have to work here. One look at him was enough to figure out how much of an outsider he was, at least back at London people were not as elegant as the ones here. Honestly it was baffling to picture them working on such fine clothing, but then again Alastor had never been one to dress so fine, even as a child, even at the request of his parents, he had always done as he pleased. Being the youngest of four sons gave him a little bit of leeway when it came to getting away with things. But that was before he had lost his entire family, now there was no one but him, all alone in the world.

“Alastor Moody” a voice called, a very familiar voice, one that Alastor hoped he would never hear again, one he feared he was never going to hear again. “Clarissa?” he asked turning to look at the approaching figure, she was just as he remembered her and so different at the same time. The light coming in through the elegant and unnecessary, they provided an exposed lobby, glass windows hitting her just right to make her look like an angel. He quickly got rid of those thoughts, they belonged to someone long forgotten, the person he used to be. “I wasn’t even sure you were going to show up” she said with a half smile. “It’s not like I was able to refuse, I assumed the sender was well connected, as they didn’t even listen to my complaints” Alastor informed her. “Please follow me” she asked before Moody walked behind her.

They got to her office and Alastor started to list all the things she could do to improve security, she had left so many weak spots, it was during his assessment that he almost missed the way she was extremely closed to him. “What are you doing?” he demanded walking away from her, “What do you think? I’m giving you a hug, I haven’t seen you in years, I’ve missed you Alastor” Clarissa told him in a confused voice. “Need I remind you whose fault that is?” he said harshly, “I’m not the one that left.” Alastor had never been one to pick the right words, he mostly said whatever came to mind, what he was feeling, not caring how it sounded, he always spoke the truth. A hurt looked crossed Clarissa’s features, she never quite had a chance to see this new Alastor, it was hard to her to hear him sound so, bitter. “I know that, I know that I made the choice and I can’t take that back, but how could I’ve stayed Alastor? I couldn’t, not after- not when they all-” he watched her struggled for the right words, “when they all died?” he finished for her. “When they were murdered” she argued back, “how could I stay and live a life they were never get to live?” she said in almost a whisper. “Bloody hell Clarissa, I never asked you to stay so we would get married and have a family, I wanted you to stay so I wouldn’t walk into that place, into those empty cubicles, and miss our friends on my own” Alastor admitted.

The mood had grown tense; it was like even a word would set off everything they had been keeping in for years. They had survived when their friends had not, that tended to do something to people, even when they ought to have stayed together they instead had only drifted apart. “Why did you called me here Clarissa?” Alastor asked wanting to get this over with, “Because you are the best” she told him in a firm voice. “That’s not true, you know that’s not true, you know that the only reason I have this job is because there was no one else around to take it, had you stayed it would’ve been you. It would’ve been you the one to have to watch new kids sit where our friends sat, do you know how many kids I’ve trained?” Alastor asked angrily, “how many kids have not made it? How many of the ones I’m currently training remind me of them, of us? Do you? Do you know what it is to wonder if they are going to end the same way? Of course not, because you left, because you ran away and turned your back on us” he finally admitted.

“You are right I don’t” Clarissa spoke with a pain in her tone, “but I couldn’t stay” she said prompting Moody to scoff, “it was because of me that we survived Alastor. It was because of me that we weren’t with the others when- when they were murdered. How do you think that makes me feel? You were always giving work your best, you wanted to go, to get there on time, but I didn’t. I convinced you to stay, to- If we had not been so-” she shook her head, “irresponsible” Alastor said sarcastically. “So stupidly naïve to think we could have made it, if we had not been so” Clarissa looked at him to see if he knew what she was trying to say, he dared her to finish her thought, “so in love” she finally said, “we would’ve been there with them.” Alastor scoffed again, “and do what? Like two teenagers would’ve faired better than more trained Aurors in that ambush, our friends died, our mentors died, everybody that was there died, it was a trap, a set-up. What do you think we would’ve been able to do if we had been there?” he demanded. “Die with them!” Clarissa said before bringing her hands to cover her mouth.

“Why am I here Clarissa?” Alastor asked again, “I have a feeling that you telling me that you wish we had died is not the reason I’m here” he said with a smirk. “I left London in the middle of crisis, and like I said I was thrust into a job I never wanted to do, but I still have a responsibility to my people.” Clarissa reached for some files and handed them to Moody, “Whatever is happening back home” she said and Alastor scoffed, “yes London is still my home, it will always be my home” she stated, “whatever is happening, is spreading. There have been some cases of no-maj, muggles, getting killed by magical means” she said as he combed through the files, “the ideology is spreading, we need to put an end to this Alastor.” Moody nodded, “I appreciate you telling me about this. I have no doubt you know how to take care of your people, I need to go take care of mine. I’ll appoint someone to stay in touch with you about any developments, I will put an end to this. Take care Clarissa.” Alastor gave her a nod before walking out of her office. Coming to America had been a mistake, but at least it had added a new sense of purpose, to stop this madness from spreading, they had to kill it at the root. Once he was back he was not going to rest until every single person responsible was caught. Alastor had already lost everything once, he was not going to lose anyone else.