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#i wish my bio dad hadn't been so shitty. bc maybe then i could've stayed in contact with my mexican stepmom
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yet again out here wishing i'd grown up with some semblance of hispanic culture in my family instead of a monolith of mormonism
#byrd chirps#like fr. i wish i'd grown up learning spanish.#i wish i'd been able to make friends with the latine kids in the spanish ward and go and hang out with them#i wish that i'd gotten to spend more time in mexico even if it was a tourist town#i wish my parents didn't think of mexico as inherently more dangerous than the us because racism and nationalism#which is especially sad since my mom is half mexican! like girl those are your people too!#idk that was probably a terrible way of putting it#i wish my bio dad hadn't been so shitty. bc maybe then i could've stayed in contact with my mexican stepmom#who could help me with this. help me learn about our history our culture#without her i never would've had homemade tamales#without her i never would've had the knowledge that i did get lucky enough to have#i hope that someday she recognizes that she and her son (my half brother) deserve better#and they leave my dad's sorry ass behind#would mexico even have me? would i be able to find family and community there?#that's ultimately what humanity is about right? community and family?#so why shouldn't it be the same in mexico?#why then do the people around me act like moving to mexico is a foolish and dangerous idea?#obviously i need to do my research and be prepared but that's the case for every goddamn country!#mexico isn't any different just because it has brown people in it!#right??? right??? im not going crazy? im not losing my mind?#mexico#hispanic#latine#latino#idk wtf im doing 😭#i just want OUT#and in this moment i want to thank my mood stabilizer
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