#i wish you the best darkamberdragon

[walkingwiththegods1]

What I learned from an Headblind Godspouse, when I'm Psychic myself; and a Solitary Pagan. (Or... Why all the serious voices in Paganism, matter!)

In case you doesn't know yet, @darkamberdragon decided to leave Paganism; which is a news than saddens me, 'cause I had been her follower for many years; and bloggers so dedicated in what they do like her... Are not common in these days, when people just glossed the happy and almost perfect lifestyle that brings Paganism, and intentionally hide the not so glorious part of it. She was different: She said everything, and... I couldn't have been more thankful for a blooger liker her, that lives her life offline too and teached us in the same time; how to navigate in this path full of uncertainty; each and every day of our lives.

I doing this post, to honour the work and time than @darkamberdragon gave us in all the years she wrote her journey and experiences through LiveJournal; WordPress, Facebook... And Tumblr. Also, because she is one of the main reasons I dared to write about my own experiences with Deities online, despite than a I'm a shy person myself and a lonely Pagan; for lack of support for religious minorities in my nation, and... To encourages to any of you than feels or have felt, than because you can't hear; sense or see to The Gods or Spirits, you can't be a blogger. (Is not true: Of course, you can!.. Your voice is equally as important and valid, for all of us.)

And, now... What I learned from Dark Amber Dragon, through almost 11 years; as her follower and fan:

Devotion, Spirituality and Faith, is more important than been a Psychic/Medium: If you are serious in your path, does devotional work at the extent of your capacities and time; you are persistent in your Spiritual's Life, and your Faith is strong, even if sometimes we have doubted... You don't have to be a Psychic to be in Paganism, or for to be a Pagan Blogger.

Telling the not so good things... Teaches us more than the good things we experiences: We are so contaminated by the ''All is Happiness, Friendships and Music, here!...'' Than most of us doesn't want to hear about the negative part of being Pagans: Loss of Friends than abandoned us for our choice, the suffering than came with this path; Dealing with Loneliness and the despise of people than we knew, etc. That part, is needed to be said or wrote too; 'cause maybe someone than thinks they are suffering alone; or believes than they may be broke somehow, because ''Everybody is happy, but me: I must be doing something wrong...'' … Realizes than all of us have bad days and bad times, too. (Besides... I learned than I wasn't the only one harrased by spirits than mades me doubted of myself, and/or my relation with The Divine.) Another thing I learned from her without even trying, is than when you say than things with Deities have their not so good moments; is... Than maybe you can help to someone else to gives them a solution to their issues with Deities or Spiritual Beings, or at least than they will live with less anguish and more in peace. (If you have an experiences than wasn't totally perfect, post it when you feel ready: Who knows... You can help a person in need of help, to live in peace!)

Believing without Seeing, is a reward in itself: You maybe are unable to see or hear to your Deities... That doesn't matter! (Many others can, but... They still doesn't believe: They make excuses like they wasn't okay that day, they said to themselves than it didn't happen; than they imagine what they hear and/or saw; and after Deities get tired of being so rudely ignore, and left... They are the first in ask ''For a sign or miracle'', in their time of despair!) I believe in Deities, a few years before they started to appear in my life: I was rewarded for only believe, in the same way one of my favorite bloggers was! And, even if you never saw them or hear them in real life then; remember this: Most of The Pagan Community is like you, than ocassionally have visits in dreams with their Deities; so don't worry about it, because... You are in a very good company!

Being Rational and Research is key, in this path: Something than people doesn't know about depression, is than a rare sympton; is... Alucinations! (I have suffered that sympton, most of my life.) Thanks to reading to @darkamberdragon talking about Discernment, as an important part of an Spiritual's Path and in Paganism; I started to trained myself to learn to distinguish between Visions and Alucinations: Thanks to that, I realized than when Spirits and/or Deities acted in ways than terrified me; BUT... I wasn't feeling their energies at all, I realizes than it was only an Alucination; so I was able to detached emotionally of the scene till it ended, after many seconds of anguish of my part. Other important thing about being Rational when you are a Religious/Spiritual person... Is than if we spended thinking in Spirituality and/or Religion 24/7, then we are risking our personal life in The Human World: That's why Discernment is an habit that will keep us with our feet in the ground, to avoid to loses all that we can acomplish; when we put our Spiritual's Life, as our only priority. Research, is vital when you are posting about a complex subject as Religion; Spirituality; Occultism, Magic, Metaphysics and/or Paganism: @darkamberdragon, when she posted about any of these subjects; she delivered each post that was worthy to be read once and again for the interesting info in it; and for her impeccable writing. (I even learned a few things about life in Norway: Now I'm doing the same, but adding Taino Words and Myths when I have the chances to introduces them; and the subject justify to uses them, of course!)

Relations with Deities, have ''Their Highs and Lows...'' I thoughted I was the only one, with relations with Deities, than feels like ''One day, I woke up in Heaven!... And the next, in Hell!'' (For ten years, my relation with The Goddess of Love and The Trickster; was like that: When both were lovely and caring for me; and in others... They said hurtful things to me, and changes their appareances in a way that scared me; and leaved me alone for hours and days to no end, while I was crying and wondering if I should stay with them; or leave to both of them, for good: One day, after ten years of that... Both of them just appeared and hugged me, and after that hug and felt than their energies been the same as the time I met them; I knew than all that rough time, was finally over!) But she too talked about it, and I realized than relations with Deities, are not always harmonious and a constant source of emotional security: Sometimes, it can makes you fearful than you are doing something wrong; and the true thing is... The longer you are in any relation, (Be it with Deities, Humans; or Anything in between) the biggest the chances than you will have at least one or two moments of ''Fight, get angry; walk away... And wishing to never see to each other, again!''

Taking time to healed yourself of any Illness, or for taking care of your Emotional Wellbeing; is a duty to yourself and others: @darkamberdragon, had a time where she needed to attend to her health: I waited patiently, until she was better enough to write again. If you have to leave for a while, just said it and returned when everything is solved; or almost solved: If you continued to write so you doesn't loses your followers, you are not doing any favour to them; and neither to yourself. (If they really loves you and cares for you, they will stayed until you are better; and, if they doesn't stayed... They wasn't worthy of your time: Forget them... You will have better followers, someday!)

And, the last part of my post about what I learned from Darkamber Dragon, is... There is still Honesty and True in online blogs: As a Psychic, I have times where I don't feel the intentions of people, in and out of Internet. (It took me YEARS, to start to feel the energies of people in websites and blogs; with the good, and mostly the ugly part) After a few experiences online than left me crying and away of blogs for weeks... I can tell you one thing with total certainty: @darkamberdragon, is one of the few bloggers than I have felt she has been truthful in every and each single post, including the last one she posted. Another thing, I have to said; is than in all the time I have been reading her in LJ, WP; and Tumblr... Is than she is one of the few bloggers than I have followed, than was honest in all, including her devotion to each of her sites, and to her followers. (I wrote her, with my now lost account of Yahoo!; and for my surprise and joy, she answered my message: I was thrilled, 'cause I wasn't expecting than she answered it. [It was only a few words, but... I was in a very bad moment, and those few words... Were all that I need to go on, in life: Never underestimate the power of say something important, in the right moment!)

I saw many Pagan Sites, where bloggers sounded very serious and committed in this path; but... One day they left, without saying why they were leaving; or without say goodbye: I waited for days, weeks; months; a year, two years or more; until I realized than they onlywas posting ''Because Paganism was the trend in that moment'', or maybe they doesn't had the enough conviction in their beliefs; or simply the social pressure was to much and they backed to mainstream religions...

…@darkamberdragon, respect and care for all of us enough; to tell us why she left; and to at least say goodbye, to all of us: She is a human being than deserves our respect and admiration, 'cause she standed for all she believed and did in all this time, while I saw others leaving their blogs after a few months or years posting; and she was committed in heart and soul to put her mind and all she knew, with all her experiences and time than are the most invaluable thing you can give to others; and she wasn't afraid of being vulnerable. (I hasn't learned yet, to show being vulnerable in front of others, because of bad experiences; and trust issues for Childhood's Traumas, but... I hope to being like that in the near future, soon!)

I wish to have the chance to meet her in person, or a least to saw her from afar; thriving, surrounded by loyal friends and happy... (Well, a trip with route Caribbean – Northern Europe, is not very easy to make. [...Or, cheap!]) But... If I can make that trip, and the meeting never happen; I will take it, as ''It wasn't in my Fate!...'' And, if it happens; I can talk of anything 'cause I'm a ''Library'Mouse'', myself: If doesn't have to be about Spirituality, or Paganism at all; unless she wanted to talk about any of the two.

Darkamberdragon: If you are reading this, I hope only than to you can find happiness and peace in whatever you do; from now on. Also... You are a great writer: When you feel better, write about anything you want and than really inspires you in that moment: Writing and being able to transmit what you feel, is a rare and precious gift!

We could be Pagans today, but we doesn't know if we have to leave someday; and one of the things than I love about Paganism, is than we respect the right of any person than is respectful; to become part of the Pagan Community in real life, or online... And we respect their right to leave, when the need to go to a new place to continue with their next step; in their unique Spiritual's Path in life!

This is all in this post: A part of me wished than she stay, but... A human being than have knew so many times how she must feel, and I felt the emotions in her last post as a Pagan; I can only wished than she back someday, only if is what she desires.... But if she decided to never back to Paganism and/or Spirituality, again... I only wish than all the love and time she gave us, returns to her in form of blessings and of being surround by good people; so she can heal of the pain and sadness she is feeling, the sooner possible... And she back to be happy again!

Thanks for all, @darkamberdragon: I'm really going to miss you... And than you find Happiness and Light in your life, from now on!

Than all the Pagans than has to leave this path of life, will be well treated for all The Pagans than stay; and they will always have the support and love of all their Pagan Family, Friendships; The Pagan Community at large, and from all their loyal followers... So Be It!