#i wont. i promise. but damn im just. idk. tired. numb. having a real bad time lately.

[abysslll]

listening to the dazai playlist! forgor if u sent link or not n too lazy to check so im just hoping the "dazai osamu vibes" one is the right one

idk whats been saying in the first song but wooo! woooooo!!!!! adventure!!!!!!!

the GUILT this man has is violent. i am choking on it. but like guilt in a very numb way if that makes sense? hes done horrible things and hes just fucken desensitized by it at this point that he cant even bring himself to feel bad about it, but some part of him still hurts.

anger issues he explodes constantly. very slow work up before it just goes bOOM

revenge. hunting down the people who hurt him

i already know this mfer does not wanna live but ive still gotta mention violently suicidal and self destructive. idk if ive asked but do we know why he has so many bandages?? constantly flipping between killing himself and fucking over life and living

very fast speeding connections in which he gets attached and gets hurt? when he does really connect to someone they mean a lot to him. keeps promises like hell and fuck. he has strong bpd vibes.

religious trauma?

sommmeeeeeetimes a little cuckoo crazy coco puffs. like really insane and violent and overall he turns into someone you dont want to be around. he can disconnect from everything around him easily so at that point, he doesnt care what happens

sexy

boogeying these tunes are so good and i feel like there should be a lot more pure screaming in this playlist like dazai probably listens to screams of anguish while falling asleep

very sneaky scary little man i think he would like guns and should not be trusted around weapons of any time. very smart also.

GET MENTAL HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

walks around in life just really angry and resentful towards everything idk why hes still alive but maybe spite or just pure hate towards everything he cant even bring himself to really die. feels very unloveable and alien (okay fine yes i did read no longer human by the real osamu dazai)

mfer is always wearing a damn mask to please people!!!!!! stop people pleasing!!!!! be normal!!!!! or actually dont i think neither would be very good

his trauma made him angry and mean and unpleasant to be around instead of soft and caring and strong and hes so so angry about that and like. idk what his trauma is but its giving Why Would You Do That To A Kid vibe

fucked up morality. good or bad? who knows!

suuuuuuiiiiiccccciiiidaaaaallll i see you im so tired and last words of a shooting star. feels like all would be best without him around but doesnt really wanna hurt the people he cares about too much (though he wont let himself admit this)

AUHGOAUHGOAUGHAOUGHAOGUHAOGUHUAHGIAUGOUAHGO

reading through this grinning and laughing like a madman YOU ARE SO RIGHT FOR THE MAJORITY OF THESE OPINIONS!!!! i am going to go through and give way too detailed responses to most of this bc i am very normal here we go

numb guilt is SO TRUE for him i don't have a better word to describe his views like there's this scene where he's talking to kyouka and she tells him she can't live anymore because she's killed 35 people and he looks so sad when he says "so what? what's a mere 35 people?" bc hes killed HUNDREDS and he doesn't even really feel bad for it while this girl is in despair from a (relative to him) small amount

no anger issues actually but you've made me REALLY want to see an angry dazai now so i'm gonna have to write that revenge fic 😭

it is not said why he has bandages but there are two major theories in the fandom, one is that he self harms and doesn't want other people to see and the other is that he's actually the Book which is hard to explain concisely but is a reality-altering book that everyone in the series is trying to find. whatever is written in it will become reality so it's a theory that all the writing is on his skin and he's just kinda hiding in plain sight! nobody knows for sure tho

HE DOES HAVE BPD VIBES

he totally does switch personalities in canon, like most of the time he's all cheerful and woo happy go lucky eyehey and then whenever he's facing off against the villains or doing something a lil morally wrong he just completely shuts off any kindness he might have mustered it's fun to see but also yeah. Scarey

he absolutely would just listen to straight up screaming you are so right

crying at sneaky scary little man that is the best description of him i have ever heard and i am going to steal it for dialogue in the fic i'm writing rn. he should NOT be trusted around weapons but for some reason he's like the only guy in the detective agency who has a gun

i think thr people pleasing is better than his true self lmao 😭 idk if he even has a true self at this point tho </3

i almost wish we knew what his trauma was in canon but i prefer it being a mystery bc 1) i quite honestly don't think they could write whatever it was without making it seem underwhelming for his character bc tragic anime backstories are So common and he's so much more fucked up than your average anime character and 2) people write the most horrific fics about their versions of his backstory and i love reading them sm. i want to read them forever

thank you for listening !!!! hope u enjoyed and i will get to peyton's playlist tomorrow if i have time :DD <333

[rubiesintherough]

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