#i would shade or do more details but i'm too tired lol

[z0rr1ta]

cody talking about video games i guess

[lussiane333]

I saw the name VINCENT SINCLAIR IN THE LIST OF WHO U WRITE FOR?? Omg u got my favorite slasher, now I HAVE to share my ideas w u

ok ok, so let’s say his s/o is an artist too, right? I feel like they would model for each other. Like, we all know how there are head canons of Vincent and his s/o going on cute dates like sitting under the shade of a tree and having a picnic with various fruits and stuff, yk, the romantic shit, but I imagine them sitting only a foot away from each other both with their noses in sketchbooks as they glance back and forth from the paper to the other and each time they make eye contact they just blush n get shy or something cute like that-

or like, if his s/o has long hair, they just do each other’s hair to relax after long days of murdering and waxing n stuff. But I also imagine Vincent having a really southern accent when he whispers. Bc, well, we know he can breathe, so wether he can speak or not doesn’t rlly matter since he can just kinda whisper without a voice lol. But both of his brothers have THICC southern accents, and in EVERY SINGLE FANFIC where Vincent speaks, (which I don’t agree with but I’m not here to shame bc that’s not cool) he never has an accent :(

u don’t have to even respond to this lol I know I’m not that imaginative, but I hope that I gave u some ideas or inspiration!

-btw u look great today ;)

Hello there! I'm glad you decided to share your ideas and thoughts with me 🖤

If you are also into art, he would want to make and create stuff with you together! (Vincent would like to hear your every idea how to make his "living figurines" even more interesting looking)

If you brought up the idea of drawing and sketching each other, he would clean around his space and try to make it the most comfortable for both of you!

He would get everything, your every little detail. For him, drawing and painting is the other way to admire and cherish beauty.

Vincent would definitely stop drawing unintentionally and look at you, you'd notice him, give him that beautiful smile he loves, and if he's without mask you would notice his mouth corners slowly rising up, never taking his eyes off you. I also imagine tired Vincent and you in bed, massaging his palms, helping him to relax and he's just like in heaven.

He asks you to pose for him very often. He has this little sketchbook that is full of drawings that are forming into the final piece of you.

The hair stuff? Yes. Brushing through his long hair while being pressed against him, he just melts.

Imagine he is working on his next thing, or cleaning his knives, or medical supplies he has, he's deeply focused and of course his hair is getting in the way. He doesn't pay it no mind, he's used to it and it somehow comforts him even. But getting the stuff out of his hair is not so comforting.. So you walk over to him, and put his hair up with a tie and kiss his cheek, he really does appreciate it.

After a long tiring day Vincent loves when he can just lay on top of you and bury his face into the crook of your neck, feel you, and smell your hair and scent.

His absolutely favorite thing is when you tangle your hands into his hair and go through it with your fingers. Best way for him to fall asleep. Now if you have long hair, expect Vincent want to braid and brush it every chance he gets. He likes how your hair looks and loves the way it smells! If you're using some oils, he's doing it for you now. If you have short hair he still wants to brush it, stroke it, and help you wash it in the shower.

The accent.. Again, Vincent snuggled up with you, arms around you and listening to you talk about things, and maybe you even asked him something he doesn't really know, he just looks at you and is like:

"I love ya.. so much" and holds you even tighter to him.

[duel-king]

Hearth's Rising 2023 - A Drabble (LOL I suck at titles maybe i'll come up w/ one later)

Seto Kaiba is not fond of the winter season. He's not fond of many things, let's be real here, but this time of year is especially irksome to him.

It's early evening and he's home, idly waiting for his phone to charge. As the sun sets, Arcanus City outside his window begins to light up with shades of red and green and gold. People really don't waste any time in putting up holiday decorations. Obnoxious, he thinks as he strides to the window curtains to block out the view.

Then, what do you know, a gentle snow steadily begins to fall. Despite himself, he remains at the window quietly watching, a long-forgotten memory coming to the forefront of his mind.

"Big brother?" Mokuba asks as he unzips his puffy winter coat. He's still a little out of breath; he and Seto had rushed to get one last ride down the hill on their sled before being called inside for the evening. "Yeah?" Seto is stomping the snow from his boots at the welcome mat, then shrugs off his coat and removes his gloves. "You said Santa's not real, right?" Mokuba lifts himself up onto a stool, waiting for his brother to help get him out of his puffy prison of snow gear. "Right." Seto is now kneeling in front of Mokuba as he unlaces his boots. With a little wiggle, he's able to pull each one of them off and tosses them to the side. "Then how does everyone get their presents on Christmas morning?" The little brother asks, stretching and wiggling his free toes. He doesn't think before blurting out an answer- "Kids' parents buy the stuff, wrap it up and put it under the tree while they're asleep. Santa's just a silly story. Pretend." "What about kids like us? ...Who don't have parents?" Mokuba sniffles. His little button nose is red and runny. Seto regrets telling him that now. Should have just let the kid keep believing in Santa. He hears his baby brother start to whimper, and shushes him gently before the little one can get himself too worked up. "It's okay, Mokuba. We'll still have Christmas here..." It's not working. Tears begin to fall from Mokuba's eyes as he tries and fails to stifle little sobs. He was hoping to be out of this place by now. "Mokuba..." Seto sighs. He's tired. So tired. Nevertheless, he grasps at some comforting words. "Our parents may not be with us anymore, but you and me are still a family. Even if we don't get any presents this year, I'm so happy that I still have you. I'll take that over any gift."

Seto absentmindedly reaches for something at his chest as he's lost in this memory, but it's not there. This realization brings him back to the here and now. Alone. An uneasy feeling washes over him. Rather than sit there with it, he dons his coat and goes for a walk downtown to clear his head.

Arcanus City University is alight with festivities. Not that Seto wants to actually partake; for some reason he just feels like being around other people right now (even if he's just being a fly on the wall) might ease this dread threatening to overcome him. He's just walking along in no direction in particular, people watching, taking in the snowy scenery, trying to distract himself from his thoughts. He sees a couple of young women (maybe students?) sitting at a booth, rubbing their hands together for warmth. He overhears one of them griping about needing to put in all these volunteer hours...

"Oh, hello sir!" She very quickly changes her tone when she notices him looking. "Would you be willing to make a donation to St. Azalea's orphanage to help children and families in need this holiday season?" She's clearly just rattling off the pitch she was given in her best attempt at a customer service voice. Seto's not impressed, but...

"…Sure." He agrees. He needs no further details. He doubts she'd be willing and able to explain more if he asked. Doesn't matter. He reaches into his pocket and hands the girl a... not insignificant amount of keys. He knows this is as much as he can spare; he and Mimi had met and gone over the budget earlier today.

"Thank you so much for your generosity!! That's very kind of you, sir," she replies, shocked.

"Mhm." Seto is already turning his back to her.

"Happy Hearth's Rising to you and your family!" She calls out to him as he's walking away.

"...You too."

[frillyalamode]

ʚ(´꒳`)ɞ 2023 egl wardrobe post ♡.•♬✧

hellooo happy february! as always i am slightly late but better late than never :-) here is my first wardrobe post! over a year into the fashion, and i feel like i’ve settled pretty well into my style and understanding of what i like to wear, and also importantly, what i don’t like, which means - i have a LOT of things to sell, and i originally planned to put them in a section at the bottom, but i am SO tired after taking so many photos so i will just describe them i suppose. hope this post helps anyone with inspo with their own style!

(n.b. obviously, think long and hard about purchases rather than buying on a whim and not fully considering the item’s suitability for you and your lifestyle, rather than whether you liked the look of it on someone else)

also i didn't bother putting waist ties and detachable bows and whatnot on for most items because i Was Not Bothered so avert ur eyes if you don't like that!

main pieces

jsks

metamorphose temps de fille - shirring frill jsk (2009)

this one is the dream dress i never knew i had, my gateway into meta's full shirring pieces! i found it while scrolling through xianyu and i took a chance (seeing as it wasn't expensive) hoping it'd fit well and it did! the sizing and length is perfect for me and it's just such good quality, as expected of meta~

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

le carrousel - agnes jumperskirt in wine and black

when i got these i really wanted solids that would be comfortable and sturdy - le carrousel delivered (as you will see later too they are FAVOURITE indie brand for sizing and quality)!! i had to take off the detachable bows on the wine one to steam it haha

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

metamorphose temps de fille - marine border shirring jsk (2008)

i saw this by chance on xianyu Just as i was trying to get more into sailor and so i jumped on it and got this, No Regrets! i need to wear this sometime soon when it's warmer

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

metamorphose temps de fille - maring stripe jsk (2006)

my oldest item!! i got this at a swapmeet with my comm from the host and at a great price!! it's a bit greyer than the stock photo on lolibrary would indicate but it's adorable and very nice for summer!

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

ops

grove deer (chinese indie) - black chiffon solid op

saw this somewhere else so i looked for it on xianyu - very luckily i saw it in my size for like 25 pounds so that's a deal!! very glad i don't have to worry about stains or damage too much wearing this

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

metamorphose temps de fille - trump poodle embroidery short sleeve op (2008)

this is my most recent acquisition! i actually forgot entirely that i'd bidded on it until i got the email saying i'd won the auction Lmao thankfully i had the funds and i'm so happy to have this!! especially since i love meta and i love red, and am trying to get more red in my wardrobe. the bodice is a bit short and tight tho so i might get it altered into a skirt? we shall see hehe

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

skirts

tanaka l/haciooji (chinese indie) - teddy gobelin suspender skirt

i had this saved on my taobao for a while but the shorter length i wanted sold out by the time i was ready to buy :,) however i actually really like this length too, it's super proto! the teddies are a bit wonky but that's ok

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

le carrousel - cathedral stained glass skirt

i ADORE stained glass prints!!! i was so excited when i saw le carrousel made these and i got it with my first order from them!! i really wanna get more into classic gothic (gossic?) and it makes me feel more cool than i am lol

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

chinese indie - ribbon lace skirt in black, white, sax

i've been in desperate need of sturdy solids so i searched high and low, and found this listing on tb! they did custom waist which i was so excited about and they accepted my request to do sax! i got a pink one too but i think they used the wrong shade for that one :,( anyway these skirts have the perfect amount of detail on them to make it feel interesting while being a solid! also i need to baste the ribbon ties down eventually they always come undone .....

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

chinese indie - pink gingham ribbon lace skirt

this is actually a different brand and Hoo boy this purchase was so weird - i asked to customise for 90 cm waist and they send me this skirt with like 120 cm waist unstretched??? i couldn't be bothered to sell it and i realised the alteration was easy enough, so it now fits me! (albeit a bit loosely and with a lot of bulk at the waist)

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

blouses

le carrousel - anne's blouse (with customisation) in white

my only white blouse before got stained mint in the wash lol so i needed a new white blouse quite desperately but all the ones on tb in my style were too small or too terrible in quality :( i got v v excited when i saw le carrousel had this but i thought the front was too plain to wear with a skirt so i asked for pintucks and lace to be added to the front and they actually said yes to that customisation!! so it's not only customised in size but also in design :D i promise it looks very cute it just needs to be washed.... and steamed.....

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

le carrousel - classic princess blouse in white

don't come for me for the wrinkles this blouse also needs to be washed lol i wore it on my birthday!! it has those detachable neckties that cross in front of ur neck and look So Cool but move around a lot hbfhd anyway! i adore this blouse it makes me feel very elegant

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

le carrousel - basic sailor blouse in white

i needed a blouse to go with my marine jsks and that i could wear with solid skirts to make sailor coords :D very happy with it and i might get another one with black trim.... after my long list of other stuff i need to prioritise haha

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

miss point (chinese indie) - ivory chiffon sleeve stand collar blouse

this was my first blouse in my first lolita order (off DI haha)!! it's like the last thing from that order i have left, because it's really nice quality and was customised for my measurements! (even though it has that net lace on everything which i hate)

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

outerwear

unknown - ivory lace cardigan

got it at the same swapmeet above!! i just love layering so i was looking for something like this to help with that :D it is getting lots of use (actually also in my mori coords!)

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

unknown korean brand - red glitter knit cardigan

i got this for the very good price of Free at the same swapmeet! the shape is a bit strange on the body unless you drape it in a specific way but it's really neat for showing the blouse or necklaces while having the extra layer!!

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

metamorphose temps de fille - sailor parka with patch (2018)

i saw this on mercari in my Sailor Item Acquisition phase and was like Oh? because good deal and NWOT to boot, so i saved it and when i was ready to buy things it was still listed!! so obviously i got it :D i was super worried about it not fitting and zipping up, or being super tight in the armscye but it's just right! not too tight but not loose at all

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

footwear

here are most of my footwear options.... i have more socks but i don't like them as much so i didn't take them out lol

the ones in the bottom 2 rows are painstakingly found over a Long time on tb (especially happy to have found the torchon lace socks)! upper row tights are from snag and the sax ankle socks are from a french brand which i forget... i also have more footwear on the way!!

for the shoes from left to right, they're elf armoire (or armorie depending on where u look lol), bodyline (bought on the listing on tb), and antaina! i'm especially pleased about the last shoes cause i really wanted cork sole shoes that would be nice to walk in :-)

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

accessories

these are most of the accessories i wear with egl! there are certainly more small detachable bows and things in my wardrobe i simply did not want to take them all out.

the top section is stuff from le carrousel, i actually got the stained glass and white headbow for free alongside my orders which is so nice!! the large sailor bow goes with the sailor blouse.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

the muff and crown necklace i bought from mintypile on insagrarn when i was just starting out! absolutely no regrets i love that necklace to death. the other stuff is mostly collected here and there and aren't specifically lolita. actually i just realised the top row of earrings and rings are all vintage, and i wear other earrings from my normie wardrobe with lolita too! i also forgot to photograph my wax seal necklace from a friend from waxpoetic.... Oops....

the two headdresses are like the only ones i own currently, the left one searched for very carefully on tb to fit my strange criteria and the right from majoly on insta (it's SO cute and majoly is very nice)!! i have a white headdress on the way hehe and then i will be satisfied

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

things to sell

well... there's a lot ..... my style and priorities when it comes to construction and quality have changed a lot, and it took me a while to know what was stuff that i liked on me vs stuff i liked on other people (crucial difference)

i'm selling quite a few blouses because of fit or because of material and design, and i have some items which i would keep if not for personal taste (colour or fit or other things)

i'm most sad to say goodbye to my dim light holy jsk in sax because i adore the print in this colourway, i really do, but the jsk is just far too ott for me to wear often enough to justify owning it, plus i don't own the right items to coord it in different ways :,(

i really liked the look of the dim light skirts at the laforet mayonaka granba this year!! it's a nice happy medium between the elaborate print and a less fussy design, it's just too bad i forgot about the event and missed the day ;; i heard they didn't sell out tho so perhaps i can get them if meta lists them later!!

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

things on the way

very excited abt my Pakige on the way from 42agent, i got some Deals and stuff that if it fits will be very cool and necessary!!

from tb: white cutsew, white rectangle headdress, and various footwear basics

from xianyu: the same grove deer op but in wine (for like 8 pounds!!), a white maxicimam blouse (it's lovely size so i think it'll fit!!), and a pink btssb cutsew (this one is like the aspirational purchase, i'm less hopeful about the fit but it would be awesome if it works!!)

i have 2 custom jsks that have been cooking at glittertale since july last year (due to mistakes in construction and general indie brand problems) and i think they'll be Actually done soon!

lastly (very exciting) i have a mucha print op!! from sweet mildred!! which is Omg because i love both mucha print items (SO MUCH) and sweet mildred's stuff! i made an order before in 2021 but i think she had some personal things going on so it never happened and i got a refund to buy this op instead :D

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

ok that is it!! the end of my wardrobe post :D very long but i hope u enjoyed it if u read it through ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

[catzula]

Smile For Me

AN: thank you to the anon who requested Artist Shinsou, it was a really cute idea! I'm sorry for writing the requests really late too but here's a 5.6k fic lol I'm sorry, it's not edited btw cause I'm at holiday and dont know how to write fics on mobile I literally can't :(

Warnings: nope

Genre: fluff

Pairing: shinsou hitoshi x reader

It was a cold day.

You had a sweatshirt on, nothing too thick. The wind was blowing like it was trying to wipe you out the earth. You hugged your body tighter, trying to find some warmth.

The school had let you off early this day since a heavy rain was expected. The logical thing was to go home and do your preparations, but you didn't want to go home just yet, so you had decided to meet one of your friends. You decided you could wait at a park that was near where you were, hoping to find a small Cafe to at least drink something hot, but to your disappointment, nothing similar to what you had in mind was to be seen.

You sighed as you sat on a free bench. You texted your friend to tell her you were sitting at the park, groaning when she told you she was probably going to be late. You leaned forward to take your book out of your bag, trying to forget the cold wind that was sending chills down your body. You wrapped your scarf tighter to your neck, hugging your body with your arms.

You weren't aware of the boy sitting a few meters away from you, a notepad and a pencil in his hands, watching everyone.

***

Shinsou was in a bad mood. He needed to draw something for his art class, but he just couldn't find anything that piqued his interest. He could always draw the baby that was crying in the sand pool, or his mother that was blowing cool air from her mouth to soothe the small wound that was caused from the sand, but none of them looked interesting enough for him to go through and finish a whole piece of art. Maybe the flower standing there could be a reference but-

He sighed. He hadn't slept last night, looking for something to draw. He usually slept very late, but not sleeping at all was a whole new level. His pencil moved over his notepad, though he wasn't drawing anything specific. Shinsou looked at the girl that was sitting on the bench, probably about to freeze to death. People were wearing gloves and winter coats while you only had a sweatshirt and a deep red scarf on. Your eyes fixed on the book you held, your face relaxed, a cute smile now on your lips.

As his eyes wandered over you, he didn't notice his hand starting to outline your figure.

You were lost in your book. You didn't even notice the cold anymore, only when the wind blew your pages did you curse under your breath. When you finished the chapter you were reading, you felt your back hurting and you opened your arms, stretching your body.

Only then did your eyes catch a glimpse of the unruly hair, purple locks defying the gravity in an odd way. He didn't notice you staring at him, he was too concentrated on what was in front of him. He looked like he was drawing something, his eyes, which were the same color as his hair, were fixed on the paper, brows furrowed.

You looked away because if you didn't, he probably would have thought you were a creep, though you could feel your eyes gazing his way every once in a while. You snapped out of your thoughts and just when you were about to keep reading your book, you felt something jump on your lap, making you shriek in surprise.

It was a black cat on your lap, nuzzling its face to you, it sat right on your book as if it was trying to get you to stop reading. You giggled as you pet it, a big smile on your face. You always felt special when cats did this, it felt like you were chosen by some greater good.

You didn't notice the boy across you was watching you as you spoke and giggled to the cat. One of his brows quirked up as he smirked slightly, a girl talking to a cat-like so wasn't something he saw every day.

But maybe it was just what he needed to see.

You were smiling brightly as you talked to the cat, one of the prettiest smiles Shinsou had ever seen. Without taking his eyes off of you, he tried to copy this scene in front of him to the paper.

He was so focused on what he was doing, he didn't even realize you were shivering. He felt like he had seen you before, though he didn't want to waste his time trying to figure out where he had seen you, instead, he was trying to draw that smile of yours, though he just couldn't draw it the way he wanted to.

He just had to see your smile one more time.

But when he lifted his gaze from your sketch to look at you and the cat, you were nowhere to be seen. He stood up without thinking, looking around frantically. He started to run when he saw a glimpse of your deep-red scarf, not even thinking about what to say when he reached you.

When he caught up -he was heaving and his cheeks were red from running- he touched your arm, not sure of what to say. " 'Scuse me."

A deep voice called out, touching your arm slightly. You jumped with surprise but smiled sweetly when you saw it was the guy from the park, the one who was drawing.

"Oh, um, hi." You told him, your smile making his heart beat faster, even though he literally ran with all his might just now. "Did you need something?" You asked, watching him as his hand scratched the back of his neck, moving in his place uncomfortably.

"I- uh, I do need something." He too you as he held his pencil so right, his knuckles turned white. He was never an extroverted person, and what he was doing now was a big blow on his social anxiety.

"Do you have time? I would like to ask you something."

Was this boy asking you out or something? And why did he look so familiar? You could swear you'd seen him quite a lot before, though not really knowing where from. "I'm waiting for my friend, actually. So I have time till she shoves up."

Shinsou was not expecting a positive answer. How was he even supposed to ask you to model for him? Would that be too creepy?

You walked in silence, back to the bench you were sitting at. You were starting to get anxious as he eyed you every once in a while, not saying a word. "I- I'm an art major." He finally started, pulling when you didn't say anything. "I have my finals coming up and I have to draw someone... I saw you talking to the cat just now and I-"

"You saw that?!" You exclaimed, cheeks getting heated as you looked at him wide-eyed. "I- uh, I did. But you see, I think it was really nice and I kinda- actually, let me show you."

Wow, this was going bad, wasn't it?

He held his breath as he opened the notepad in his hands, opening the unfinished sketch he just drew- of you. You gasped as you saw the beautiful drawing, not even acknowledging for a moment that it was you who was smiling and petting a cat, so detailed and so pretty.

"Did you do this now?" You asked him, touching the paper so softly, as it would crumble under your touch with the smallest amount of pressure.

"I did. But I kinda need you to stay a little longer to finish it, I know this is a weird request, but I really need to finish it... So, what do you say? Could you stay a bit longer, not much, just till I finish it?" Your eyes followed his hand as he ran his finger through those purple, soft-looking locks, making you wonder how it would feel like under your hands.

"Wait, you actually want me to model for you?" You asked him, brows borrowing with confusion and disbelief. "Is that weird?" He asked you, a hopeful look in his tired-looking eyes.

"No, I- I mean yes!" Oh, damn, you were awkward. "What I'm trying to say is-" you started, a little calmer, trying to answer with a full sentence this time, "It is very unusual, but probably not as weird as me talking to a cat."

He chuckled at that, a rich sound making your heartbeat a little faster. "Yeah, probably not."

"So does that mean, yes? Will you model for me?" You shrugged as you giggled. "Sure, why not."

He smiled, relief washing over him. "Thank you so much, I can't even tell you how much this helps." He was taking his notepad out but stopped as he saw you trembling like a leaf. "Oh, here." He shook his jacket off his shoulders, handing it to you.

"I can't take this." You told him, wishing you could, "It's yours and it's really cold." Plus, it was your fault you didn't bring a jacket with you and he shouldn't be cold because of your irresponsibleness. "Just take it." He said gruffly, "I'm making you stay here so it's only fair if you took this."

Now that was a solid argument. You accepted the jacket he offered -why did it smell so good? Like soap and a bit like lavender?- and smiled gratefully. "Thank you for that." He shrugged to say it was nothing.

***

Hanging out with Shinsou was better than you had expected. He was such a chill guy, so calm and smart, he didn't talk much but when he did his quick, smart remarks making you admire him a lot.

Even though he had told you it wouldn't take long, the sun was already setting when he was giving the drawing it's last details, though both if you didn't mind it at all. It was supposed to be a quick sketch, all he had to do was to draw the outlines and then he could go on without you, but he just couldn't tell that to you, afraid you'll leave.

He was having fun, too much fun, to let you go. He never thought having a chat with some stranger -who talked to cats, too- would turn out to be so fun. And you were nice. So nice that he felt like he could tell you anything, and you wouldn't judge him, which was a feeling foreign to him.

As he scribbled the last pieces of shadings -he knew he was just adding useless details now- he felt a weird weight in his chest. He didn't want you to go, wanted you to stay with him, and talk even more. He was a quiet guy, in contrast to you -you talked a lot of he was going, to be honest, but he thought of it as adorable and even though it was mostly you talking and him listening, it was obvious both of you liked the presence of each other.

At some time, your friend had canceled, telling you she couldn't make it and she was really sorry, but it hadn't bothered you the least. In reality, you were glad you got to spend more time with him.

You gave him your scarf at one point, and he looked so cute, his face wrapped with a deep red scarf, the color matching his cheeks.

"It's really pretty." You told him, caressing the paper with your finger. "It's you who makes it pretty." He answered, causing your cheeks to heat up.

"I don't know how to answer that." You finally told him after a long silence. Your blunt answer made him giggle, once again scratching his neck, making your heart flutter.

"It was really nice to meet you." You let out, sad that you have to go, and that you'll probably never see him again. "It was really nice to meet you too, and you have no idea how much this helped." He answered though he looked like he wanted to say something else.

"Maybe I'll see you around, you know if you ever come here again." He mumbled, eyes looking at yours awaiting. "Sure." You smiled brightly, happy that you weren't the only one that wanted to meet again. You looked at the sweatshirt you were wearing, the one that belonged to him and was too big for you. "I should give this back."

But instead of taking it, he shook his head. "It's still very cold. You can give it to me the next time we see each other." You smiled, the idea of having some kind of excuse to see him again making your heart hammer your chest. "Then you should keep my scarf too, and I'll have it back when I give you your sweatshirt back."

He smiled too, touching the scarf like it was made of gold. You stood up, your legs sore from sitting for so long. "I should go now, it's getting pretty late." You told him as you looked at the drawing he did one last time. It really was pretty.

"Yeah, I guess." He really shouldn't have felt this bad. "See you around?"

"Yeah, promise you'll have your sweatshirt back." You giggled and turned your back, making your way back to your home, an odd feeling finding it's way to your heart.

Shinsou watched you leave, the same feeling you were experiencing, sending shivers down his spine.

***

It had been a week since you saw Shinsou. And oddly enough you missed him.

You could visit the park only once since that day, disappointed that he wasn't there. You weren't really sure if he had ever visited the park too, wondering if he had thought of you as often as you thought of him.

He probably didn't, and you were making a fool of yourself, but you just couldn't stop, couldn't make the thought of him just go away, though his smell from his sweatshirt was already going away.

You sighed, not being able to focus on your lesson. When the bell finally rang, you stood up, stretching your body as you saw your friend coming next to you. "Hey, what's up-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" She screamed- asked, earning glares from other people in the class. "How could you hide this from me?" Her hands were on your shoulders, shaking you with every word that left her lips.

"What are you talking about?" You asked, confused.

"Oh, come on, don't play dumb now." She told you, though still not saying anything that has the slightest bit of explanation.

"I literally have no idea what you're referring to." Her eyes narrowed slightly as she eyed you suspiciously. "Wait, " her eyes widened when she realized you meant what you said. "You really don't know?"

"Nope." You answered.

"Oh my God." She started giggling, making you a little scared of what was happening. "Are you going to tell me now?"

"No way." She answered between her giggles. "I'll show it to you instead." Now, if that wasn't the most suspicious thing you've heard, you didn't know what was. "I'd really rather you tell me." You told her, though you knew she wouldn't tell you even if you begged on your knees. "Oh come on." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "You know I would never tell you. Just wait for a little and see for yourself."

You sighed but didn't say anything, knowing it wouldn't be anything other than wasting your breath. "Okay, whatever. Show it to me." You sighed.

She grinned as she tugged at your wrists, pulling you in a direction. You let her lead you for at least 15 minutes, you had left the campus, entering the main campus, and then the art gallery.

You knew the art majors were exhibiting their finals projects in here, though you never really had the time to come and look at them. "What are we doing here?" You asked her, but she ignored your question, leading your way in the halls of the maze-like halls of the gallery.

And then she suddenly stopped, making you lose your balance by doing so. "Why did we-" you choked on your words as you lifted your gaze up, looking at the piece of art on the wall.

It was a charcoal drawing, a big one at that. Black and white had so many tones between them, shading was so professional, so detailed and so beautiful, it was like the art was alive, you could swear you might see it moving if you looked closely. But it wasn't the beauty of the art that had you in shock, it was what was on it.

You.

You were in the painting. Talking to a cat.

You knew this drawing, you knew it very well, that was because you had spent every second of the last week, thinking about the artist who drew it.

You turned to your friend, who was watching you with a knowing smirk. "You have to be kidding me." You mumbled. He was at your school? How was that even... Was that why he looked so familiar?

"How is this... Wh- Who did this?" You asked, finally able to say a whole sentence. Her nose scrunched in confusion. "You mean you don't know?"

You shook your head.

"It's Shinsou Hitoshi from 2-A." She answered. "I thought you knew him."

"I do know him." You told her. "But I didn't know- I didn't know we were in the same school, or that he was a grade older than me. I didn't even know he was..." You gulped. "I need to go." You told her, leaving her with many questions to be answered.

"Wait, where are you going?!" She screamed after you.

***

You were running, though you hadn't even stopped to think for a second. What were you even going to tell him when you found him?

Hey, it's me, the girl you drew as an art project? The girl talking to a cat? We met a week ago, I still have your sweatshirt, might be nice to have my scarf back too. You remember me, right?

Yeah, probably wouldn't work out, would it? You decided it was the best to go with the flow -it really isn't- and didn't stop to even think for a second.

You entered the art building, feeling the eyes of the students on you, though you weren't sure if it was because you looked like you were running for your dear life, or maybe it was because you were the girl on the art that obviously everyone saw.

You didn't care about the looks they were sending at you and ran until you stood in front of the door you were looking for.

2/A.

Now that you were finally able to stop and breathe, and actually think about what you were doing, you thought maybe this wasn't a really good idea. You had no idea what to say, you weren't sure if it would actually go with the flow either, and you just didn't know how he would react.

But most of all, you were a little disappointed that you haven't seen him that one the time you visited the park. Did he even ever visit? Yes, maybe you only visited once, but he wasn't there, was he? And maybe it was just dumb to expect anything from-

"Oh, hi!" You heard a girl's voice from behind you. It was a brunette girl who was looking at you with a wide smile, her brown eyes the biggest pair of eyes you had ever seen and she had the sweetest face. "Hi, I was looking for-" You mumbled back, feeling shy, but couldn't even finish your sentence.

"Oh my God, 'Chako isn't that the girl?!" Another girl came running towards you, a big smile and wide eyes on her face as she shouted at the girl talking to you. She had a pink-tinted face, like she was blushing constantly, but it looked cute nevertheless. The brunette nodded like they were sharing some big secret, though the secret was more than necessary at this point.

"You're looking for Hitoshi, right?" The pinkish faced girl asked, her hands holding yours as she jumped in her place.

"Well, I- uhh, I was looking for Shinsou." You told her and she giggled when you couldn't call him by his first name. "Oh my God, you're too cute! I'm Mina, by the way, " she informed you as she tugged you from your wrists to the class. "Come on, he's in here."

When you entered the class, more like pushed from the back by Mina, you lost your balance slightly, recovering quickly. You cod feel everyone looking at you, wondering who you were or why you were here. Though a few of them looked like they knew what was going on, watching you with big interest. You scanned the room for one specific pair of indigo eyes. And you found him, your heart beat picking up almost instantly.

He was there. Sitting in his desk, he had his earbuds in and was looking at his phone with tired eyes, his purple hair hidden under his hoodie. As you saw him just sitting there, you thought maybe this was a bad idea. What if he simply didn't want to see you? Both of you didn't know you were in the same school, and what if he thought you were creepy or clingy or...

His gaze lifted from his phone only for a glance to see why his friends were suddenly so quiet, only to see you standing in front of the door, cheeks tinted red and looking very uncomfortable. Shinsou's eyes widened as he put his phone on his desk and stood up. Looking like he couldn't believe you were there, standing just a few meters away from him, he slowly got closer to you.

When he stopped in front of you, he still looked like he couldn't believe his eyes. "H-hey." You told him, smiling anxiously. Everyone in the class was watching you both, and neither of you felt the slightest bit comfortable there. "You wanna go somewhere more... Private?" He finally asked, ignoring his friend's giggles and 'ooohhhh"'s.

"Oh, yeah, that would be amazing." You answered, letting him lead you out of the class. After a short walk, you found a quiet place, looking at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"I didn't know you were in this school."

"I saw the drawing."

Both of you talked at the same time, making you giggle. "How did you find me?" He asked, his words setting a horrible feeling down your chest. Did he?...

"Y-you didn't want me to find you?" His eyes widened when he realized how his words sounded like. "No! I- I'm actually really happy you did, I was pretty sad when you didn't show up at the park." He mumbled, he seemed so sincere about his words, it caused you to blush. "You went back to the park?" The words tumbled out of your mouth with a much more hopeful tone than you would like.

He scratched the back of his neck anxiously. "I- I did. But you weren't there, so I thought you didn't - uhh, didn't want to see me." His cheeks slightly tinted pink, indigo eyes looking at everywhere but you, you couldn't help but think how adorable he looked.

"I visited the park too." You answered, noticing how close he was, all of a sudden. You could feel his soapy lavender smell, making your heart beat faster and faster with every second.

"I found you because of the drawing." You finally answered his question. "I was there with my friend, and she told me you were the artist." That wasn't exactly true, but you weren't lying either, right? Though he didn't seem to be listening either, his gaze fixed on your lips, smirking.

"I probably should thank your friend, then." He answered, making you chuckle. "Maybe you should."

***

Epilogue

"I really can't believe you're going on a date with Shinsou Hitoshi." Your friend repeated for the 100th time as she applied some highlighter to your cheeks.

"I can't either." You answered, feeling all giddy inside. It didn't take long for Shinsou to ask you out after you both found each other, and almost everyone knew about how you met now. Your friends eyes wandered over you.

"I understand everything but that sweatshirt, " she told you, face scrunched with disapproval, "you really can't wear that to a first date, you know." She told you, looking at the sweatshirt on you like it was the ugliest thing in the world but you ignored it. It might not be the prettiest thing you had, but it had history and you secretly liked wearing it, the lavender smell calming your nerves.

"I'm gonna be late." You told her, standing up when she finished the make up. As you arrived to the Cafe Shinsou and you decided to meet at you felt anxiety and excitement washing over you.

It wasn't far from your campus, making it easier for both of you. As you entered the Cafe, a smell of ground coffee filled your senses. Your eyes wandered around, looking for one particular head of purple hair.

You smiled when you saw him, all wrapped up in your red scarf you had given him, the biggest smile on his face when he saw you wearing his sweatshirt.

He thought you looked like a piece of art.

[goldencurve]

I was going through your old (and i mean OLD like a year ago) [i'm trying to find a specific video *sigh*] and noticed how you were more... how do i say this, interactive? you were positively looking for videos requested by anons and replying in detail. now you just upload the asks and thats it. lol! I guess people do change. no shade tho, keep being you. 👍🏻

I don’t think I’ve changed-changed, but yeah I’m not as nice as I used to be.. But I did also try really hard to be nice, to not come across as rude and to make sure to treat each message as a friend. That didn’t come natural but was instead a conscious effort that became harder and harder to keep up over time. Dealing with many people is very tiring to me, especially since I’m not generally chatty and don’t have a need to make a lot of friends. I simply did not enjoy forcing myself so I stopped

I didn’t make this blog to talk with people. I wanted to upload jgv, make gifs, say something if I had something to say and maybe help people who needed help … I did not expect it would develop into such a chatty blog, and while I do have days where I like to talk with people, I have more days where I don’t - It depends on my mood and the topic of conversation

With that being said, compared to the beginning of this blog, I do get quite a lot of asks where y’all talk about stuff I’m not interested in, so I have naturally nothing to add. That’s fine. I think it’s nice y’all talk about the stuff you want. It is also very convenient since this blog has a good following that benefits of everyone’s short commentaries on videos. I appreciate that, I just personally don’t always feel like joining in. There are also some topics that get a little bit repetitive, some I already have voiced my thoughts on before - and since I usually don’t like repeating myself if I don’t have anything new to add, I’ll either just keep quiet or only add a small comment

Overall, I’ve just lost interest in interacting with people. I still enjoy having this blog and making some stupid comments haha, but yeah, I am way more nonchalant compared to the beginning. I’m cool with that though, I’ve always been someone that observed rather than interacted. I’m not too concerned with being someone other people want me to be - although I do get it’s more appealing to follow someone who is dedicated to their blog and its followers

… Looking back at it now, I can totally understand why you wanted to comment on it. I used to be so sweet and useful 😭 That’s still me, just not how I portray myself on the blog anymore. PC users can see my old way of being by going to goldencurve.tumblr.com/page/243 

[3one3]

I'm so so so confused right now. Let me get this straight, your crush now seems to be mutual? Like he's asking you out now?! How'd this all come about?!

No one is more confused than me. This has turned into an inexplicable situation. Get a cup of tea or a glass or water, and maybe a snack, and find a comfortable position because this is a long story.

I was over there yesterday for my usual Saturday morning chill time. The other guy who works there (we’ll call him The Babysitter), who I talk to all the time, came up to me about an hour after I got there and said “[the crush] (we’ll call him The Pacifier, because he’s basically a child) wants to know if you want to come with us to the casino tonight” and I was so taken aback that I just said “Why?” I also turned 12 shades of tomato and made skeptical faces. The Babysitter then called The Pacifier over and made him ask me himself. There were some other people there too. Other guys that work there, one of which is related to The Pacifier, and were presumably going on this outing as well. It was weird because it was like everyone was gathered to watch, and I really wished I had been spying on them in the moments beforehand because you know, body language. And so The Babysitter is like “She asked why, so tell her why,” but I got no explanation. Just details. I assume he was trying to get him to say explicitly that he wanted to hang out with me, but I dunno. The Pacifier asked if I wanted to go and said they were leaving at 11 because one of them was working until then, and I could tell he felt super awkward about it, but he always sounds super awkward when he talks to me. There was some back and forth between him and The Babysitter about it being so late. I said sure, I’ll go. Then everyone went about their business. I freaked out inside because lol how did this happen? And I was trying to stop being bright red, and trying not to hurry to grab my phone and tell the two people (plus you guys) who know about the crush situation. A little while later, The Pacifier brought me a new cappuccino for no apparent reason and took away the first one. I thought, aww. I hang out a while longer to watch the tennis and stuff, and when I left I told The Babysitter to text me about later, because he has my number.

Now, let me back up a tiny bit. I think The Babysitter has known for a while that I have a small thing for The Pacifier. A few weeks ago I asked him if my number was still in his phone and if he’d know it was from me if I texted him later. We hadn’t texted in like a year. And he got all excited because he’s always hitting on me and trying to get me to go out drinking with him and I’m always “lol never”. And I said to him “chill out, it has nothing to do with you”. Then I left. My intention was to maybe ask him a question about The Pacifier, but I didn’t even know what the question was going to be, and I pretty much decided against it soon anyway. The only reason I considered it was that it might get my interest on The Pacifier’s radar if I leaked it to The Babysitter. 

A while later I went to the grocery store across the street and The Babysitter was standing outside the restaurant waiting for his ride when I was finished shopping. He shouted to me across the street. He’d been calling me for a few mins but I don’t have service in the store. I was like ugh great. Naturally he hurried over when I crossed the street and wanted to know what I was going to text him about. I said I was going to ask him a question about someone but never mind, forget it, it doesn’t matter, I can’t because you’d make fun of me forever. He texted me after a bunch of times trying to get me to ask the question. I said nope. 

Then I went in for lunch on Tuesday because I was off for the holiday and had nothing to do. I knew only The Babysitter works that shift. He makes shitty cappuccinos lol so I had iced coffee. When I was getting ready to leave, he asked me if I wanted another iced coffee and I was like “No, I want a delicious cappuccino. I miss The Pacifier. What does he do when he’s not here?” and he said “I don’t know. Do you want his number? You can ask him”. And I obviously giggled and deflected and said “no, that would be weird”. Also I sensed maybe a hint of frustration from him. Oh also a few days before that I casually asked him how old The Pacifier is, but he was hardly paying attention anyway. And one time a while ago I said something like “Pfft, you think I come here for you? I come here for The Pacifier and his beautiful eyes and delicious cappuccinos”. The next time I was there he deliberately embarrassed me by telling The Pacifier I said it tastes better when I he makes it. Anyway.

Back to last night. I text The Babysitter around 8 30, “what’s the plan?” He writes back, “[The Pacifier] says next time, he’s too tired”. I had been legit reeling all day because reasons, so I was actually kind of like phew. And I told him “good lol I don’t want to get out of bed”. I’d been trying to nap because I would have died if we went out at 11. Then I realized that I didn’t want to play games and try to be too cool for school. So I added a clarification that that means “oh. 😔” in girl-speak. The Babysitter apologized and blamed The Pacifier. Hours later he starts texting me like where are you, what are you doing, do you want to go get beers, I want to be the mosquitos that are eating you, and a bunch of other ew. As usual, my response was “never happening”. And I asked him repeatedly if The Pacifier actually wanted to invite me out or if it was really just him who wanted me to go and he knew I would say no if he asked but I would probably say yes to The Pacifier. He acted like he didn’t understand the question. And he sounded drunk anyway. And his English isn’t 100%. 

Fast forward to this morning. I head over after F1 to have my coffee and read shit on my phone and whatever. As soon as I sit down, The Babysitter greets me and I think straight away jumps in with excuses for The Pacifier, telling me what time he left work and everything. I was like whatever I don’t care. In reality I was a little disappointed but it was fine. I really didn’t want to spend money going out anyway, and the place is hard to get to/from, so I had been dreading the logistics. But I expected a casual apology from The Pacifier when he brings my coffee. He always makes it for me when I walk in. I don’t even have to ask. Today, The Babysitter had to tell him a bunch of times to make it, and eventually he makes my special coffee and then GIVES IT TO SOMEONE ELSE TO BRING TO ME, so I’m like ugh this is bad. He’s probably so embarrassed. 

But then he went out of his way to pretend I wasn’t even there. He took detours to other parts of the restaurant and literally hid somewhere instead of hanging out behind the bar. When he had to walk behind me, he speed-walked. If my head was even slightly turned in the direction he was coming from, he looked the other way while he walked by. I WAS MORTIFIED. Did he never want me to go in the first place and now he’s like ugh god why is she here what do I do? Is he not even a decent enough person to apologize for canceling, regardless of the circumstances? He’s really young, and he really is shy, so I was like errr maybe  he’s just terrified of me? I don’t know. People say I’m intimidating. And I legitimately never show him any sign that I have this raging crush on him. But I’m also kind of hurt. And mad. And confused. 

I also didn’t sleep last night. At all. Sometimes I get this crazy level 9000 racing thoughts thing and it’s like torture and I cant sleep. So I was cranky and exhausted, which means melodrama inside. I was trying so hard not to outwardly emote the confusion, anger, hurt, etc. because come on, I’m not even supposed to care. I have a wonderful bf. The Pacifier is just weekend morning entertainment. The Babysitter even comes over and tells me not to be sad, and I’m like I’M NOT SAD I’M TIRED OK? 

Then everything gets worse because I see this little dark silver haired lady with a cane walk by and it reminds me of my mom and I miss my mom every day and I’m like on the verge of tears because of my mom but I’m thinking about how everyone in the fucking place is going to think I’m crying over the stupid child who makes me coffee and stood me up for a group hang. I even texted my bff and explained the emergency situation and asked her to send me pics of cute ponies, STAT. She didn’t get the message right away. Instead, I watched this ESPN show about a little boy in london with a horrifying muscular disorder who found a best buddy in an Anatolian shepherd that was TIED TO GODDAMN TRAIN TRACKS AND HIT BY A TRAIN. He lost a hind leg and his tail. They’re best bros now. I got over myself. 

And then out of nowhere, The Pacifier delivers to me a new cappuccino (the first one was way below his usual standard btw, like he was nervous when he made it or something, and I hadn’t even come close to finishing it) and smiles and says “here you go, Ashley” like everything is totally normal. When I saw him coming I was like oh crap how do I behave? Should I give him the cold shoulder? Laugh and ask him what happened last night? Make a joke about him ignoring me, or being too chicken to bring the first one? I didn’t have time to make a well thought out decision. I just smiled awkwardly and said thank you. I’m pretty sure I looked as mortified as I felt. But then I did feel slightly better I guess.

Time passes. The Babysitter comes over to refill my water and he said he liked my nails, and then asked if they’re called nails. I don’t know, man. His English isn’t THAT bad. Then he’s like, “Can I come home with you and you can teach me better English?” and I laugh and say “there is only one person there invited home with me and you know who it is”, and he straight up says back “yeah but he doesn’t want to, so why not give me a chance?” and I straight up wanted to die. I don’t even know if that was a throw away comment or if he was really saying The Pacifier has no interest whatsoever. If it’s the latter, what the hell was that whole thing about yesterday? I’M SO CONFUSED. I don’t get any of it. I texted The Babysitter after I left- “Why did you make him go through that whole charade yesterday?”- and he hasn’t responded. Usually he does. Usually he never misses an opportunity to send me gross messages back. 

Theory #1: Did he realize I have a lame crush on The Pacifier and think it would make me happy if he invited me to hang out? If he did, what did he think was going to happen when it was clear that The Pacifier didn’t actually want to invite me or have anything to do with me????? How was that going to play out? Did he just assume I would have said no? 

Theory #2: Did he realize I have a lame crush on The Pacifier and, knowing how shy he is, want to help him get some ass, and talked him into inviting me out? But The Pacifier didn’t really want to and didn’t want any help but gave in because peer pressure? Honestly I can’t imagine he truly struggles for female attention. He is physically attractive, polite, sweet, and perfectly charming to literally everyone but me. 

Theory #3: The Babysitter wanted me to go and knew I would only say yes to The Pacifier. Honestly this seems unlikely because it makes no logistical sense. Even when The Pacifier was out of the plans, he could have suggested the rest of us go if that was his motivation all along. 

Theory #4: It’s a little of everything and there is no consistent motivational pattern in anything The Babysitter did, and by seeing everything through his lens and looking at what he’s doing, I’m just confusing myself. Is he like Donald Trump and just has no consistent strategy? Did he want to help The Pacifier out, help me out, and then also let his own interest get involved at times during this saga? Was he just mis-communicating stuff because he’s an idiot?

I don’t know anything, and I want to know everything. Especially about the last part of today. I want to know if he said “he doesn’t want to” because A) The Pacifier actually said that, B) he assumes it’s true because The Pacifier didn’t follow through last night, C) he was just saying it to help himself, or D) he had no real reason to say it at all and it was totally a throwaway comment. 

Auxiliary Theory: The Pacifier actually is interested and really is just super shy and really did just want to go home after work last night and really did feel bad and awkward today and chickened out for a while. Naturally I think this is the least likely scenario, but also the one I most want to be true. 😐 Would everything have been better/more clear if *I* had just not been a chicken, and opened my mouth, and asked The Pacifier what was up? 

I don’t know, but I’m exhausted.

POST SCRIPT: I GOT MY ANSWER/S. Totally by accident.

My phone doesn’t work in my apartment. Anything wifi does obvi but I can’t take calls. No network coverage. So I wander around outside. I’d been wandering on a business call for over an hour, not paying attention to anything around me. As I walk by the front entrance to zee restaurant, chatting away, guess who walks out. Yep. It was The Pacifier. I didn’t notice until the point where it would have been awkward if I turned around and said heyyyy so I kept walking but sort of lingered not far away, and then I turned around to start wandering back, and caught his eye, and we waved cordially. I did more talking, but stayed beyond where he sat down to eat his takeaway and wait for his ride or something, so that I’d have reason to walk by him again. I finished my call and put on my figurative big girl pants and went right over to sit next to him and get my fucking answer. It went like this.

313: “Heyyyy”

TP: “Hey!” *he didn’t seem alarmed and I was thus reassured*

“What’s up?”

“How are you?”

“I’m good. So, I have to ask you an awkward question.” I maintained my friendliest smile, I hope. He maintained his uncomfortable awkward one.

“Okay.”

“Did [The Babysitter] make you invite me to go out yesterday?” I said it kind of knowingly, and smiling, and while maintaining eye contact. He started to say something, but then said…

“Wait, say it again?”

“Did [The Babysitter] make you ask me to go to the casino or whatever you were doing?”

“He’s always doing that. He always tries. You know, all the girls. He enjoys it.” *more laughing and discomfort* The point being that The Babysitter is always harassing The Pacifier to ask girls out. I should have asked how many times he’s actually listened to him and done it. Anyway. 

“Yeah, I know. He’s a pain in the ass.”

“Yeah.” I think he kind of relaxed when he realized I wasn’t mad or about to cry or something.

“Okay, I’ll leave you be! Have a good night.”

“Good night!”

/scene

I feel much better now. Though I wish I had been like well if you ever DO *want* to hang out with me, I would like to hang out with you 😊 and I love casinos. Or something. Buuuut I didn’t. I also could have told him that he has beautiful eyes and a lovely smile and that I would like him to cast his beautiful eyes my way and be the reason he smiles, and make *him* coffee sometime. But I’m not Julia Roberts, or suicidal. Also, I have developed this burning desire to make him pancakes. I don’t even know if he likes pancakes. I should have asked him if he actually did want me to go out with them, but that woulda been weird, right? I also felt bad ambushing him on the sidewalk while he was eating. 

From now on, NO MORE BABYSITTER.