#i wrote this in my car 😭☝️

[forlix]

talking ab fallen star cos that fic consumed me when i first read it and consumed me again when i reread it earlier 🤚

firstly the way he kept his promise to bring mc to the airport it really broke me. it's so melancholic like there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one? you can still feel the love he has for t hemin the way he tiredly made his way to drive to their house and to the airport after he came back from his own long flight it honestly makes me insane.

i love how in the car there's this like faint and twisted idea of hope lingering between them. some part of them still longs for the other and it's right there they could just grab the very thing they yearn for but it's incomplete. it's not the same. honestly when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot? and ac i feel like they meant both of them are idiots for allowing themselves to end up in this awkward but necessary situation.

there are some unresolved feelings and unanswered questions while they sit in silence on the way to the airport, but the airport scene™️ gives them both the closure they need. they're not getting back together, no matter how much one might like, but the tension in the car shows a sliver of hope that they would and i feel like it really emanates in your writing and makes me as a reader reader hope for a happier ending as well. also the shaky "fuck" describes my feelings as i read this as well thanks btw 🥲

and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too. the worst part is there's no definitive point where they felt or "became" okay, because like you said, time is the best medicine and gradually mc just healed. but knowing that hyun is okay and has moved on kind of popped a bubble of reserved feelings and its not necessarily sad its just kind of disheartening or numbing?

idk how i started yapping sm lol i read wayyyy into this HAHAHA. i chose to analyze this instead of study for my finals ☝️🤓 but in conclusion, xian i love falling star and its yet another product of ur mindblowing sexy brain i love you so much bby and i js wanna say im so proud of you <3

when i tell u i saw this while studying (also for my finals) and it had my jaw on the floor my head in the clouds i couldn't focus for the LIFE of me afterwards. WDYM YOU WROTE ME AN ESSAY OF UR THOUGHTS ON MY WRITING? IS IT MY BIRTHDAY?? i love you so fucking much omg. thank u for sending this in my lovely star :') putting my VERY ramble-y response under the cut

"there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one" is soooo poignantly put and so so so correct. honestly him remembering the day and time of the flight was supposed to be a show of pettiness at first, like "you called me unreliable so here i am bitch" lmfaooo but let's be real you're right on the money with his real intentions. he was literally counting down the days until he had an excuse to see mc again.. he was also worried about the flight being so early and wanted to ensure their safety... AGGHHH not me hurting myself thinking ab this couple 😭

"when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot?" I LOVEEEE LOVE LOVE THIS? god u are a genius i adore you. i totally see this being the case. if i may add, maybe mc thinks they're an idiot because they reciprocate hyunjin's yearning even after everything that's transpired. like inward frustration that there are still feelings there? yeah. ur a genius.

about the slivers of hope after the car scene, i apologize for the lack of a happy ending love </3 the fic was definitely challenging (and saddening) but also refreshing to write. i really wanted to explore a couple that is well and truly doomed bc some of the relationships in our lives are doomed, yaknow? and you can recognize that and still have a lot of love for the person at the same time bc human beings are fucking complicated like that. but please consider this my official justification for posting something so depressing

"and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too." FUCKKKK NOT THE WEDDING PICTURE. this just made me frown irl. if i may add.....again..... what if they physically run into each other and that's how mc knows? at the start of the convo mc kinda feels the familiar stirrings again but it's more out of habit than anything. they talk for a bit and it's really pleasant and mc notices he has a ring on his finger and they realize they feel ✨ nothing ✨ about it anymore. but there's just an inkling of remorse remaining about the whole situation. like a passing thought of "maybe in a different universe we would've made things work"....haha.....fuck. BUT mc is happy hyunjin's happy, and mc is happy to have recovered, and life goes on

as for ur entire last paragraph i might actually cry, i'm so glad you love the fic and i truly do appreciate u taking the time to look into my fic this closely so so so much :'( you keep me going, I MEAN IT

[prelovednikaidou]

Hey my fav Tumblr writer! Can i ask for more details of Toji and y/n's sex life? Something like a drabble or headcanons? It's ok if you don't want to <333

hi! i'm a bit hesitant to post this huhu idk if its good or not lmfaoo sorry if its dusty as fuck

warning: manhandling, dumbfication (if u squint)

He clicked his tongue, today was a drag. It took almost 5 hours for the meeting to be adjourned when all the stupid fucks in his office couldn’t properly do their jobs. He was so close to take his leave but he knew if he didn’t stay, they would push another high profile case to his way. Not that he lacked confidence, but he needed a rest too. 

As he unlocked the front door, the living room was dark and the whole house was quiet. Am I too late? The short pointer of the clock paused at 10 and it was closing to 11. Another day of missing a meal at home, he thought.

I need a long bath and a good sleep.

Along the hallway to his bedroom, the sickly sweet smell of vanilla and body lotion touched the tip of his nose and he knew immediately that his wife wasn’t asleep. Perhaps she just couldn’t sleep after he walked out on her when she was trying to explain something.

What is it again? Oh, the pipe is leaking. First thing to do in the morning is to call Naoki. He made a mental note and pushed the door open.

His guess wasn’t too different from reality. His wife indeed wasn’t asleep, instead she looked so fucking delectable - bottom lip was so plump, her slight sudden mood change would make her lips pouty, so cute to nibble.

She sat still in front of the vanity, casting her eyes to the end of her hair, brushing through her curls softly with her fingers - looking all primped, soft and warm. He wanted to bully her more.

“Not gonna greet ya husband?” He said, leaning his back to the dresser with his arms crossed - he knew that she ogled him from her side eye, refusing to meet his stare as she only nodded, sheepishly mumbled a soft ‘Welcome home, husband.’

Ah, so she’s still mad. He stood there, watching her under his intense stare that she began to panic when she realized that her husband wasn’t going to let her be as he always did. Today, his stare was different. It was the kind of tension that he always carried in bed.

Bed... her ears felt hot when she remembered how terrible her husband’s bed manner was. He wasn’t physically hurting her but it was almost he tore the thin layer of shame belonged to her. He made her felt needy, and he certainly loved making her lose her mind too.

“You can continue acting like a brat,” He finally made a way to her, and when he stood behind her - he placed his big palm over her naked shoulder, rubbing his calloused skin over hers and stopped to cup under her jaw, “But is it enough? Is it enough for you?”

He lifted her chin, making her watched herself on the mirror as he stood behind her and when she held back a little, she felt a hard bulge on her back and Toji didn’t tear away his eyes from her. It was shameful but his greed for her tonight was so thick that she could imagine how deep he’d go inside her from his bulge.

“We can’t, I’ve already showered... You go take one.” She pushed away his hand from her shoulder, stood up and wanted to get away from her husband but he didn’t let things go on her ways.

He pushed her to the vanity, pressing her forward until she placed her hands on the mirror for balance. Some of her products were swept to the floor, and she wasn’t given proper chance to retreat as he placed his mouth straight to her nape.

How much he wanted to bully her, make her big eyes turned red and teary, sobbing to his name and asked for his mercy.

“As if you can’t take showers twice. It’s still not gonna change anything because I’m having mine later. So be obedient, wife.”

“My... my skincare...” She watched how the body of her night cream cracked, spilling the content that Toji wanted to laugh but he resisted by sinking his canines to her nape.

“You care about that cheap cream rather than your husband?” He ran his right hand to her nightgown, slipping under the fabric before he began to palm her supple flesh, groping her inner thigh into making her submit to his wicked intention.

“Ngghh.. no- ack, don’t pull too hard, it hurts,” She closed her eyes, her neck was tilting upwards when he used his left hand, grabbed a whole of her hair into his fist as he tugged her head a little. His lips began to nibble from her neck, to her jaw, before it finally landed on the corner of her lips.

“This isn’t like you, wife.” He whispered, his prying hand pushed her panty aside, running his index over the slit, he felt the twitching hole was releasing slick fluid before he smeared the wetness all over her puffy pussy lips. She jolted a little in his arms when he caught her clit between his thumb and his middle pinching, rubbing it until she creamed over his fingers.

He liked it when she looked like she was on the verge of tears when he played with her body this good. It felt like a taboo, where only with her, he could truly enjoy his rest.

“When I fucked this cunt, you were screaming like I was holding you at gunpoint but then when I stopped you crawled to me, giving me those puppy eyes like you couldn’t get enough of my dick. So is it a little painful or you just don’t want to do it here but on the bed? Answer me honestly and I might give you want you want.”