#i wrote this in three different tumblr sessions and did not proofread at all so i have no idea if it makes sense

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

Let's say Perry is allowed to reveal his secret identity now that Doof has given up being evil. As we all know, the last time he revealed his was an agent to the boys, they were all in an insanely dangerous situation and it was too much to take in at once. How does Perry do it this time? He sets up a "scavenger hunt" for the family. One by one, he leaves clues for the kids to find and pick up on, like his human-like expressions, his har, his lair entrances, the pamphlets, the 2D slideshow, etc.

OOH NOW THAT IS AN IDEA 👀 if I wasn't already writing a fic that's on a deadline I would totally write this as an actual fic right now like I'm not even joking (but since I don't have time to write a whole new fic atm I'm gonna do that summarizing-my-ideas-in-seven-million-incoherent-paragraphs thing I do way too often and then maybe write a fic later (unless someone else wants to write it *wink wink nudge nudge*))

First of all, I think it's worth noting that the reason Perry can't reveal his identity is that it would put his family in danger and OWCA's insurance wouldn't cover it if they got hurt, so for Perry to be allowed to reveal his identity, he'd probably have to leave OWCA entirely. Given his reaction to being replaced by Peter the Panda in It's About Time, I can absolutely see him deciding that if he's not thwarting Heinz, he doesn't want to work for OWCA anymore. If he was willing to hang up his hat all the way back in season one, by the end of the summer, there's definitely been enough development in their relationship that he'd probably consider his job entirely Heinz-centric and not want it any other way (does this make sense idk what are words)

That's important for three reasons. One: it's just cute that he likes Heinz so much. Two: it means he probably won't be sneaking away as much during the day (though I'd assume he does still visit Heinz every few days). Three: it's a great opportunity to plug my fic about Perry retiring from OWCA and revealing his identity to his family (but it's via kinda a family meeting and Carl's there bc Carl's Best Boi™ which I'd thought was cute until I saw this idea and now I think this one's cuter lol)

Now, onto the show! or, you know, the long rant. same thing.

I think he'd probably start with subtle facial expressions. Maybe Ferb would give him some belly rubs and he'd smile a little, or Candace would tell at him and he'd glare at her — enough that they'd definitely notice, but not necessarily enough that they'd know they saw it. And it would be entirely situational, too — I don't think he'd acknowledge words yet; he'd acknowledge actions and tone of voice, but that's about it.

And then after a couple days, when he knew Phineas and Ferb (and maybe Candace; I'm not sure when she's pick up on it) were keeping an eye on him, he'd make it a little more obvious. He'd give slightly bigger smiles or more aggressive glares, so the kids wouldn't just think it was them picking up on more of his body language now that he's home now — they'd have to realize it's a genuine change at this point.

And maybe that's around when he starts reacting to words. Linda would ask if Perry's been fed yet, and Perry immediately runs to his food bowl (whether he's been fed or not; he would gladly accept an extra meal). Or Candace makes a sarcastic remarks, and Perry growls at her. Things that he'd obviously have to understand the words for because there's no obvious tone of voice for an ordinary pet to pick up.

And when everyone's thoroughly confused (not suspicious yet, but confused) he moves on to the hat. He'll be sitting out in the yard with the boys over the weekend while they're trying to think of an invention for the day, and when they both look away for a split second, he slips his fedora on and pretends nothing happened. The boys definitely wouldn't take it from him — they saw him on the chimney with a pair of binoculars once and shrugged it off — but they'd get a good laugh out of it.

And then they're hanging out in the bedroom and the boys look away and Perry puts his hat on again, and this time it's still funny, but it's weird. Where does this fedora keep coming from? He didn't have it a second ago. It definitely wasn't lying around the room. It just appeared on his head. And then the next evening during dinner, it happens again. Perry has no hat, he walks under the table, and walks out the other side with a fedora on. Ferb points it out, and Perry just smiles.

I feel like he'd have to go a little further before showing them the lair. Maybe he starts "standing on his hind legs," but with his butt on the ground so he's still technically sitting but more upright than usual. Maybe he uses his hands more, picking things up or hitting things around. Maybe Phineas is about to do his homework and realizes he doesn't have a pencil, and Perry throws one at him and then immediately drops to all fours, but purposely does it slow enough that Phineas and Ferb notice that he did it. 

I'm gonna kinda switch the order up on you here. A week or so into this, Perry starts walking away. Perry never walks away. He's always either there or he's not; they never see where he's going. So Phineas and Ferb follow him, and they see him take the tunnel in the side of the house down to his lair. Now, Perry has absolutely no idea whether he should expect them to follow him, but he's hopeful. And, sure enough, they do, only to realize it's yet another entrance to the spy lair that Ferb built over the summer — except this time, Ferb finally gets to say that he didn't build it. They both look at Perry like they're expecting him to come out and say something, but he just starts walking up the stairs to leave (which admittedly is a pain in the ass but it's not like he can take the hovercar)

And maybe that night, Perry decides to take it a little further. He waits until the kids are asleep and then hops off the bed and just stands there, waiting for someone to wake up. And it takes a while -- long enough that Perry’s starting to debate just giving up and going back to sleep -- but then Ferb opens his eyes just a little... and then sits up and rubs his eyes because there is no way he’s seeing that. And this time, because it’s dark and it’s late and Ferb’s tired, Perry just stays standing there and looking at him, and, because he’s feeling particularly daring, he waves. Ferb just stares at him for a solid 30 more seconds, so Perry gives him an awkward smile. Without taking his eyes off the platypus, Ferb stands up, walks over to Phineas’s bed, and wakes him up. Phineas is just like ??? and Ferb’s like, “Do you see this, too?” and Phineas looks over and Perry just walks over to the bed (on his hind legs), hops up, and curls up next to him like nothing happened. And, like, what do you do in that situation, right? So Ferb just goes back to bed, and Phineas closes his eyes again, and they both go back to sleep.

And in the morning, the first thing Phineas and Ferb do when they wake up is look at Perry, who’s now snuggled up on Ferb’s bed (because his bed-switching isn’t going to change just because he’s slowly giving up his cover). Perry doesn’t do anything at first, so the boys look at each other and Phineas is like, “Last night, did he...?” and Ferb just nods and they both look back at Perry who just gives them that small smile that you’re never really sure if you see.

And I wanna get Candace in on the action so let’s say this time when Perry walks away, it’s right after the boys’ Sunday invention, and Candace is all annoyed that she couldn’t bust them and Perry looks up at her and then walks away, and usually she wouldn’t care but she’s bored and annoyed and what can it hurt, you know? And Perry leads her to the staircase and picks up the handle to open it in his mouth and then drops it to let Candace get at it, so she opens it and sees the staircase and immediately runs back to the house like “MOM THE BOYS BUILT AN UNDERGROUND STAIRCASE IN THE BACKYARD” and Phineas and Ferb are like “No we didn’t?” so they follow her out there and Perry’s still standing there and Phineas wonder aloud if it leads to the same spy base as the tree and the house and Candace is like ?!?!?! 

And Perry hops on the railing and slide down the stairs (because he is not climbing down all of them) and the kids have to follow on foot because they would absolutely not fit on the platysized railing. That gives Perry extra time to get set up, so when they get to the lair (again), Perry’s standing on his hind legs, wearing his fedora, and using his computer. 

I feel like Candace would be the one to ask what’s going on because a) she hadn’t been paying as much attention as the boys, b) she didn’t see Perry standing the night before, and c) she hadn’t seen the lair before. And Perry just walks over and hands them each the “So You’ve Discovered Your Pet Is A Secret Agent” pamphlet and they’re just like 0_0 and as they’re flipping through it Perry goes back to working on his computer.

There has to be some sort of conversation here, but at this point, they’ve been seeing so many clues that I don’t think they’re too surprised, which was the whole goal -- they were never supposed to figure it out, but they were supposed to have some idea that he was more than what meets the eye. So let’s say the first question is from Phineas, who asks if Perry can talk, and Perry shakes his head. So Candace asks, just to double check, that he can understand them, and Perry nods. So then she asks if he’s always been able to, and he nods again. And Phineas asks why he’s never told them, and that’s when the computer comes in.

Perry opens the folder full of second dimension pics and he flips through them slowly so the kids can see them, and at that point there are way too many questions for him to keep up with so he doesn’t bother. And eventually they’re done looking at pictures, and Phineas asks when that was and why they don’t remember it, so Perry takes his pamphlet and circles the line about host families and memory erasing and relocating and then he hands it back, and Phineas reads the line out loud so Ferb and Candace can hear, too. Ferb’s the one to connect the dots and realize that the reason they don’t remember those pictures is that they had their memories erased, which Perry confirms, and Phineas asks why he’s telling them now if they’re either going to have their memories erased or lose him (and then proceeds to get very nervous about losing him) and Perry takes the pamphlet back again and adds a little carrot in the title between “your pet” and “a secret agent” and writes “used to be” and they realize that means they get to keep him as a pet and know everything and it’s a happy reunion and nothing like the second dimension and everyone lives happily ever after! 

... that was the least coherent thing i’ve ever written in my life

[haroldssfedora]

This Town (Niall Horan Imagine)

NOT PROOFREAD YET! SORRY

REQUEST (for Joyce): Everytime that I listen to “This Town” by Niall Horan, strong feelings about the lyrics keep rushing inside my chest. The love lost, longing and hoping for one more chance. I keep imagining Niall going home as a solo artist and having a simple gig and singing the song in the bar that he used to go to with his childhood friends and his childhood sweetheart (maybe me? Lol) that he had to break up with because of the tight schedule being in 1D. You can decide about the rest and the ending. :)

When life hits you hard, you fall even harder. 

I feel so tired and drained that I can’t even be here on tumblr for more than an hour! Thank you one week break for giving me time to finish this three month old personal request. 

To Joyce, hope I did your request justice. 

PS: This story has changing point of views, so don’t get too confused.

ILY ALL!

MASTERLIST

~~

Niall’s POV

“Niall, you’re up in 5.” my friend Matt said, peeking his head on the door, not fully opening the door to the small room at the far back.

“Got it. Thank you.” I replied back as Lou finishes up on my hair.

I was currently back home in Mullingar. My first solo single “This Town” has been doing well in the charts and so far, the solo career has been treating me well. And to celebrate that, I decided to play at The Shaft, the cafe that I used to go to.

It was just a small cafe a few block from where we used to live. I remember coming here to listen to upcoming singers singing their own creations, hoping to be able to do the same in the future. It was a shock when I heard that the cafe actually closed down. Luckily Matt, a good friend of mine, bought it and retained it.

Now, here I am - fulfilling the dream of my 12-year-old self.

“Ok done. Go now at the holding area and wait for your cue.” Lou said, tapping my shoulder as a sign of good luck. As I got there, my name was called.

I’ll admit, small gigs intimidate me. It makes me feel more insecure, seeing all the faces and reactions of the audience. Performing in a big crowd, I tend to only notice those in front. Glow stick are the only things that I see in the back and the ones on the upper boxes.

Getting up on the small stage with my guitar, the squeals and shrieks almost making me deaf.

“ ‘Elo The Shaft!” I said, waving across the room. “You all look lovely today. Thank you for being  here and being a part of a dream that I once had when I was 12 years old.” I said, doing a quick scan on the audience, when I saw her.

Joyce.

I can’t believe that she came. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss her.  

I miss her, more than anyone can think.

Joyce’s POV

“It’ll be fun.” they said. “Great food. Great Music.” they said.

I was planning my weekly FRIENDS marathon tonight, but they insisted that I come. With a heavy sigh, I let them take me to wherever.

Big mistake.

Why did I let them drag me here? And why did they fail to mention that Niall James Horan, aka my ex boyfriend, my so-thought soulmate, was playing where they planned on going?

I know it has been 4 years since he and I last saw each other, and I should’ve moved on by now, but I’d be lying if I said that I have moved on.

** flashback **

“So?” I asked him as soon as I found out that my boyfriend finally got home from the judges’ house.

“WE GOT IN BABE!” He shouted through the phone.

Since then, I was there in every live show, rooting for One Direction. Along the way, I’ve gotten to know the rest of the lads and immediately became friends.

“And the act that made it through the finals is…” Dermont started.

Once again, all my fingers are crossed including my toes, hoping that my new friends make it through.

“Rebecca!” Dermont shouted.

My entire body froze, my smile fading away. I couldn’t imagine how sad and hurt Niall must be feeling right now.

“This isn’t the end of One Direction.” Zayn finished, which made me smile.

After that heartbreaking night came the best news ever. Simon Cowell was planning on signing them as an act for Syco. The news came in as a surprise.

SInce then, recording sessions after writing sessions, promo after promo, One Direction became famous after such an amount of time,

This then put a toll on Niall and I’s relationship, which lead us to the most heartbreaking night of my life.

“I don’t think this will work Joyce.” Niall said one night.

“What won’t work?” I asked, oblivious of the message he was trying to deliver.

“Us.” and with that, he left me.

He left me after 3 years of being together.

I never knew it was that easy to leave me.

** end flashback**

Niall’s POV

As I was scanning the audience, an oh-so-familiar face caught my attention.

Joyce.

I couldn’t believe that she was here. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss her. Heck, I’m pretty sure she was my soulmate, and I let her go.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is next song is very close to me. I wrote it about a girl that I regret ever leaving. She meant the world to me 4-5 years ago, still means the world to me til now. I hope she know that even though the whole world is watching, I’d still come back to her. Everyone, this is my very first solo single ‘This Town’.”

And with that, I strummed my guitar and played my heart out.

Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air It's hard Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round It's funny how things never change in this old town So far from the stars

And I want to tell you everything The words I never got to say the first time around And I remember everything From when we were the children playing in this fairground Wish I was there with you now

I made sure to catch her gaze every once in awhile, smiling her way to know that I appreciate her being here.

This place used to be our place. All our dates either started or ended here. This was where I took her for our first date, the first time I held her hand, and the first time that I kissed her.

This place had too many memories of us.

After a few more songs, my time on stage ended. I put down my guitar and immediately made my way to where I last saw her. I was surprised to see that she stayed for the entire act. As I neared the table she was sitting on, I was met with an empty seat.

“Joyce left.” Amy, one of her friends said. I didn’t even think twice as to where I can find her.

“Joyce.” I called out as soon as I reach the park a block away from the cafe.

As soon as she heard her name being called, she knew it was me.

“Niall, hi. How have you been?” she said, giving me a small smile.

“I miss you.” was all I needed to say.

“Niall, let’s not do this.” She said. “I can’t do this.” She tried her best to walk away, but I  caught her arm just in time and pulled her towards me.

“I let you go once, I’m never letting you go again.” I said. Tears were starting to pool in my eye.

“Do you know how much pain you gave me?” she said while still in my arms. This was my cue to let her go, literally for now.

“This is why I’m here now and-”

“Apologize? Sweep me off my feet and hope that everything comes back like old times? Niall, wake up! It has been 4 years since the old times. Things are different now.” She said.

“Then let us start anew.” I said, holding her hand like she would fade away once I let her go.

"You said we weren’t working anymore, us.” She cut me off, wiping a few tears that left her eyes. 

“I know what I said before. I never regretted anything more in my life.” I said, begging her to believe me. “I’ll make it work. I promise you I’ll make it work.”

“I don’t think I can do a relationship with you. I’m sorry Niall.” She said honestly.

“How about let’s start where we first began. Friends?” I asked her. I was desperate to have her, anything will do for know.

“I don’t know Niall.” She said.

“We’ll start slow. Friends for now and let’s see what will happen.” I said, holding my hand out for her to shake.

“Fine. Friends.” She took my hand and friends we became.

And who knew, a few years after that, she officially became Mrs, Horan. 

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you