HEADCANON // before everything , before the world & before god , there is only one thing : darkness . she is a void , she is nothing . the absence is her existence , which has never made any sense to mortal minds & explains most of her erasure from the scriptures . but it doesn’t last : the universe is all about balance . so god is created , taking space where amara used to reign . he is life , perfection , light light light . she is frustrated , forced to disappear by something she cannot be , so of course she tries to destroy what he is . to protect himself , god creates the archangels . while darkness is unleashed upon the nascent universe , amara has to face the truth : one cannot exist without the other , & so she accepts a truce . she even begins to appreciate god , because he is young & prone to mistakes , which means she can help him learn . for the first time in an extremely long existence , amara has a true purpose that isn’t to destroy .
instead of accepting this peace , god does not stop from creating angels . power gets to his head , or maybe he just desired more company . but this is a terrible decision : more angels mean more grace mean more light !! the balance , once again , is overthrown . but instead of listening to amara’s warnings , god decides that it is time to get rid of her , otherwise she’ll always prevent him of creating new species or creatures in his image . as said before , god is young , and believes he knows better .
the archangels are sent to deal with amara , who is weakened by the imbalance . amara meets michael , but he is not the one who manages to put her in a cage : it is lucifer , who found a way to keep the balance intact while making sure she isn’t capable of hurting god . the brightest angel carves into his own grace the mark of cain & imprisons her in it , creating the most dangerous curse . the plan was to transfer her to the blade , and then to lock the blade in a cage no one would ever access . but while connected to lucifer , amara accesses his mind , his desires , his ambition . instead of putting her into the blade , lucifer keeps her for himself , while she whispers sweet promises into his ear .
this is how lucifer downfall begins : with a mark , darkness spreading through his grace . he falls . even after the mark is given to cain as a punishment , she can still be heard , corrupting lucifer until nothing is holy about him anymore . while she is proud of her handiwork , it is not enough . so with cain , she begins to utterly destroy god’s creations : men & angels die under the blade . amara’s bloodlust is bottomless & cain’s control over himself is inexistent . she whispers & he executes . that is , until he falls in love . the hold she has on his mind loosens so much she fears she is going to disappear , and she quickly realizes that her bond with lucifer was far more powerful than the one she shares with cain . so she decides that for now , she will not fight cain’s resistance . she lets him lay low . she sometimes awakes to remind him that she is here , that she has not forgotten what god put him through . amara’s story is one of vengeance .
when she meets dean , amara awakes . she becomes unbearable . she offers cain an out : she is the one who whispers to him the way to get rid of the mark . dean winchester , the perfect vessel & the righteous man . he’s not only god’s creation at its finest , but he is also her one true bond : he is the light to her darkness . not only does she want to corrupt him , but she also knows that he will be able to bring her back . besides , he is god’s creation , but he is also hers : he possesses all the traits she gave humanity right before being locked away , hoping that it would destroy them .
she chooses dean . this is why , when cain meets dean , he talks about only the “ worthy “ being able to take the mark . when others have come , amara was indifferent . they were no better than cain . but dean is perfect , dean is what she wants . she knows it is his destiny to be united to her . because of the balance of the universe .
the bond with dean is the strongest she has ever had , with lucifer a close - second . if him having the blade makes it stronger , she can still appear when he doesn’t have it in his vicinity . she comes to learn everything about him : his fears , his desires , his memories , the people he loves and the ones he hates . every death strenghtens their bond , because every murder creates darkness in dean’s soul , therefore creating a symbiosis between her & his essence . once you touch darkness , it never goes away , because once he has killed in her name , they are linked , it is impossible to tell where she ends & where he begins .
this is why dean calls her a disease : she spreads . she gains power . she feeds on every regret , every act , every breath . he gets angrier , more violent . she makes him powerful , she makes him ruthless . dean & her share the very same anger , but hers is purer , more ancient . she nurtured it since the beginning of time . a younger brother that you have to take care of , one that never meets the consequences of his bad actions , the feeling of never being enough for him , the unfairness of it all .
freeing her is both an unconscious choice that stems from amara’s demands & an act of rebellion from dean . it doesn’t work as planned , since even with all of her powers restaured , they are still linked . that does not bother her , since her objective has changed : while she only wanted to corrupt him at first , she has by now realized all the things they would be able to accomplish together .
while she grows more & more powerful , she has no plan to destroy the earth . destroying the earth would not only destroy the new - found balance , but it would mean destroy every human amara has crossed path with , including dean , which is not something she desires . she is neither stupid nor particularly impulsive : she thinks before acting , and after having spent so much time trapped , there are ideas that she want to act on . even absent , she was still present . because darkness , as seen with cain & lucifer & dean , is inherent to life . you cannot have light without darkness . she was there , on earth , all along . her causing trouble is not about destroying the world , it’s not about making it in her own image . amara only wants to take back what was hers . which is to say , she demands revenge . everything done during her time in the show is done that god would come down & meet with her . she wants him trapped . she wants to take back the control of the narrative .
as for the kiss with dean , she is not doing that for any sexual purpose , but she is absolutely breathing a bit of his soul , so that the symbiosis continues even now that they have separate bodies . the bond was weakened by the transfer , and the kiss was a gentle way to restore the balance .
she accepts another truce with the sole purpose of corrupting god himself , because killing him was easier than she had expected , considering he didn’t really put up much of a fight . this is what leads to season 15 : amara whispered sweet things into his ears & he listened .
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