#i’m on my nonfiction grind again i need to read 5 nonfiction books this year. because i’m sick of not learning anything

[2189114reads]

spaceflight, michael j neufeld

[my-digi-life]

I never used to journal digitally, but I decided this year I would try to do something a little different. So let me introduce myself and give you a little run down:

I’m Arley. I’m 24, soon to be 25. I like to read and write. I want to keep this journal as anonymous as possible so I won’t get into what I do for work specifically, but if I ever need to I will vent about my work (very much a possibility as I work with the public and the public does some stupid shit sometimes). Any other details I deem necessary will be shared as I think of them haha.

Let’s get into some really journaling now:

I’ve made it through another year and it feels a little crazy how different I feel. I started 2023 very depressed and overwhelmed. I was feeling extremely burned out in my undergrad program, but knew I just had to push through because I was due to graduate in May. I was crying every single night and to be honest, I was starting to feel how I felt in the months leading up to my pysch ward visit in 2019.

I’m happy to say I ended the year with 0 psych trips and a shiny new degree in English. I’ve also found a job I love. To be honest, it’s a little hard to reconcile who I was and how I felt in January 2023 with who I am now. I know people say your brain fully developes around the age of 25 and I truly believe my brain did a lot of cooking in the last few months. I find myself calmer and more rational. I’m able to cope with the hits as they come and I’ve settled into a since of acceptance with somethings that used to cause me a lot of distress.

Let’s talk a little bit about yearly goals. I’ve kind of grown away from New Year’s Resolutions since I was a teenager, but I’ve started making some actionable goals for myself. I wanna start by reviewing my 2023 goals and then I will present my 2024 goals.

For 2023, I wanted to:

Prioritize mental health and healing from burnout

I did this! I’ve been taking my therapy more seriously and have been talking through my feelings with my friends and family instead of suffering in silence. I took two months off between school and the start of my first job and spent that time doing things that made me feel so fulfilled. Honestly, just getting out of school made me feel 100 times better. I remember I graduated and one of my besties, we’ll call them Rena, looked at me and said “you’re glowing now that you don’t have class anymore”. It kind of shocked me how right they were and just how miserable I was grinding that way for years.

2. Learn to love writing again

The actionable part of this was simply to start writing again. I actually added over 7k words to my manuscript! However, this has kind of gone to wayside since I started working, just because I don’t have the time anymore. I’m hoping in the following year though to learn to juggle my schedule better so I can do the things I love.

3. Take more photos & videos

This was a goal because I am a deeply sentimental person and I love looking back through photos. I actually did this and I’m so happy I did because I did so much fun shit this year and I never want to forget it.

4. Read 5 nonfiction books

NOPE! I read 1. I was fighting some real demons to get to my reading goal this year, so let’s just be thankful I read anything haha

5. Read more meaningfully

This goal basically just meant to be a little more thoughtful of the books I picked up instead of reading just to hit a goal. I definitely did this and my average rating really reflected it. I picked up a lot more books I ended up loving because I was actually thinking about them instead of just doing it as a means to an end.

6. Journal once a week

……….. No comment……

Okay! Time for 2024 goals! (A lot of these are more health focused)

Stop eating out on your lunch breaks!

I only work 2-3 long shift a week, but I’ve been eating out for every single one. Not is it only a strain on my wallet, but I’ve gained weight and I just don’t feel as good. I don’t want to make any goals directly related to my weight because those tend to go awry for me (ED girly here), instead I want to make goals that prioritize general health and feeling good.

2. Go to the gym at least 2 times a week.

I’m starting with just 2 days because I fear if I make it higher, I’m going to be setting myself up for failure. I pass this gym on my way to and from work so I think it’ll be easier to convince myself to go than it used to be. I’m gunna try working out after my shifts since it’s open 24/7, but if I need to, I’ll switch it to before my shift.

3. Read 60 books

I set a reading goal every year, even if I don’t put it in my written yearly goals. My goal in 2023 was 40 and I read 63. My goal for 2022 was 52 and I ended up reading 109, so I’m not too concerned about hitting this goal.

4. Watch more movies this year

Another goal I had in 2023 that I just didn’t write down. I don’t really watch movies instead I usually just watch brain rot TV shows that require 0 attention. However, I had a good time in 2023 looking for movies to watch. I also got to watch some that had been on my list for years! I actually got really into the whole Saw franchise and I have 0 regrets. Even developed a new hyperfixation with the Scream franchise (fuck SpyGlass Entertainment and fuck Scream VII tho).

5. More trips with friends!

My friend, Alyssa, has a goal to take more day trips in 2024. Day trips, vacations, or whatever, I just want to make more memories with the people I truly love!

That’s it for now! I’ll see you when I see you.

Hum and kiss from your friend,