#i'd rather die swt

[cobraonthecob]

Hi,

This is actually regarding the Last Airbender. I have read some of your thoughts regarding the ship wars. I may not be interested in ships, but I have to say that if the writers were upset that people love a non canon ship more than the canon ones, the solution is to write the canon ships in a good way. Regarding Aang and Katara, if they showed Aang reciprocating the support Katara offered and letting go of that attachment, plus they got together later in life, Kataang would not be as hated as it it.

Also, rather than dissing Zutara, it could have been more handled in a more respectful way, and the book 4 video, while I was indifferent to it, I will say that now I feel it was uncalled for.

All I think is that one ship had good writing handling it, the other did not. Your thoughts?

Oh absolutely! While I am a die-hard Zutara fan, the writers can do whatever they want (I very much practice 'canon is a suggestion and i do what i want' lol), and I think if they developed kataa.ng where 1) Katara showed interest in A.ang rather than mothering him 2) had Aa.ng be more mature or let go of his love of Katara/thought about how he loved her and didn't use her as a love for his people 3) not have the EIP kiss (and especially not their last 1-on-1 interaction before the finale eps) and 4) having Aan.g support Katara (i.e. asking about Kya, not acting the way he did in TSR, etc.) would've left me neutral towards them.

But even if Kataa.ng was developed nicely*, I think I still would've shipped Zutara since Zutara fit the theme of the series and raises a lot more questions about what would happen should they get together. Like sure, Katara and A.ang get together and...what? That's it? Sure, there might be questions asked on how two of the last benders of their respective people would bring up their family and whether or not their relationship could survive the massive culture clash of the SWT relying primarily on meat and the Air Nomads being vegetarian, along with the SWT being very family-oriented and the AN are more 'it takes the temple to raise the kids, and there are mentors to train the airbenders'

But Zutara unleashes a flood of questions: Would it be okay for someone from the SWT to marry the Fire Lord, especially one as prominent as Katara (who is one of two SWT benders alive canonically)? How would the Fire Nation accept her? How much legwork is Zuko going to do to get the Fire Nation to accept a Fire Consort who isn't Fire Nation? What is Katara going to do prior to her marriage with Zuko? What would the SWT think about their only waterbender going to marry the leader of the nation who nearly destroyed theirs?

A video I'd like to suggest is SneezyReviews's 30 minute vid about the dynamics between the two ships and what draws people to them, which has been on my mind for the past few days lol. A zutara fic I'd like to rec is such selfish prayers by andromeda3116 (4 chapters, nearly 50,000 words) and the sequel and love, the shoreline, where you and i meet (12.5k words)

*What's funny is that I almost didn't watch ATLA due to Kataa.ng lol. I watched the first ep, saw Aan.g open his eyes and see Katara and my literal reaction was 'if they get together at the end of the series i'm not watching this show' everyone say thank you to that one kid in my dad's church school class for loaning us the ATLA DVDs.

Thank you very much for your ask! for those who just skipped to the end, my thoughts are 1) KA could've been written better with katara reciprocating the romance and aa.ng reciprocating the emotional labor and 2) creators should not make fun of the fandom, especially when they shipbaited them and stagnated their own ship lol

[sisterssafespace]

Assalmualaikum wa rahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. I pray you are in the best of health and iman. My parents are forcing me to marry a cousin back home against my will and although I suggested someone I'd like to marry from here, they refused to accept it as he isn't a family member and it breaks their cultural traditions. I've said no so many times but they won't stop and they've told me it will happen whether I like it or not. I'm feeling so down, depressed and even suicidal at times and there's just no escape. I've told them everything Islam states about forced marriage but they seem to think as parents they know best and I shouldn't disobey them. They say I should trust their decision as they wouldn't give me away to someone who wasn't good for me. I have so many valid reasons as to why I don't want to go through with it but I have no voice and I'm not heard. They have been persisting and I have just given up because I can't go a day longer with this weight on my shoulders, it's slowly bend destroying me. I told them to do what they want with me because I know I've been fighting a losing battle. Now that I've said it, I'm terribly afraid. I don't know how to be married to someone when my heart was always somewhere else. Will I get sin for this even though I never really had a choice? I'm so broken and I don't know how I'm gonna go through with it when it's everything I don't believe in. They said if I ever left and got married to someone of my own choice, I would never have their blessing and I have no wali who is on my side so they've made it impossible for me. I've done so much dua, I even prayed isthikara yet my feelings never changed. I'm at such a loss and I would genuinely rather die than go through with it but they're still making my life hell. I used to have a good relationship with everyone and now due to this, all those relationships have broken and it kills me. They're my parents, I don't love them any less but it hurts so much that they've treated me this way. I've recently been diagnosed with depression because of all this and if I told them they'd just laugh because they don't take it seriously. I know they will never change. Sorry for the long ask, may Allah reward you for all the good you're doing.

Wa alaykum assalamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu dear sister 🤍

La hawla wa la quwata illa billah ! I am so sorry that this is happening to you! * Sigh * my poor sister this must be tearing you apart ! Ya Allah ! The amount of suffering that the patriarchy and the culture put Muslim girls through is outrageous! AstaghfiruAllah alaadhim wa atubu ilayhi!

As you stated, forced marriages without the girl's consent are against the laws and the essence of Islam, so we are not going to get into that, it is established. I will cut short to the possible solutions I could think of:

1) Is there a relative/ uncle/ family friend/ neighbor who is open-minded and god-fearing enough that you can talk to and ask for help? Let him or her talk to your parents and make them understand that this is wrong?

2) If your father goes to the local Masjid, try to find the Imam and tell him about this catastrophe, and in shaa Allah the Imam will know what to do (whether to speak to your father directly and privately or to speak about the issue in general in a lecture, I am sure he would have seen this a lot of times and he would have in shaa Allah effective solutions)

3) worst case scenario: get in touch with the guy, the potential husband back home and be honest with him, tell him that you have no intention or desire of marrying him and that they are forcing you to do so and that this is unfair. Okay, if you can't do that, get a friend or a cousin or a sister do that? I am sure you have people in common, someone could e-mail him or text him on WhatsApp. I don't think that any decent god-fearing man would still marry a girl after knowing she is rejecting him and she is being forced.

And I know you have said that you have been praying and making duāa, my poor sister, I really feel for you and I am so sorry that you are getting super desperate that your duaas are not being answered. But you have to believe in Allah's timing. He swt is the most merciful! He can't see you in such pain and leave you like that, eventually Allah's mercy and relief will come! Maybe He swt is trying to teach your parents a lesson, maybe this test is not over yet, maybe it hasn't served its purpose yet! I want you to hold on a little tighter, I want you to be just a bit more patient. I know it hurts my dear, I promise I know, I understand your pain! And I am so sorry :( but Allah swt says " do not despair of the mercy of Allah " and we have to trust His sacred words.

I don't know how long your pain will last, I am so sorry for not having good answers, I wish I knew how this would end, but one thing I am sure of is that Allah swt would never allow or approve of oppression upon a faithful slave. So please make Him your refuge and your shelter. I know you said you prayed Istikhara but please try to pray Tahajjud, it works miracles! Wake up in the late third of the night and cry it out to al-samiī, try to trust Him harder, try to have Him on your side, because the ones who have Allah swt on their side, can never lose or go astray.

My heart and full support goes out to you my dear, I will - and I urge every sister who sees this to make duāa for you, may Allah swt save you from this situation and shield you from injustice, and heartbreak. Allah swt is capable of solving this impossible matter in unimaginable ways, I promise. Have faith in Allah. Kheir in shaa Allah my dear.

- A. Z. 🍃