#i'll even be able to microwave rice‚ something i probably don't even want to do actually. whata wrong with my stove.

[confinesofmy]

i'm for real about to spend $50 on microwave cookware... i'm becoming my grandmother

[confinesofmy]

there was also a shitty moment where. okay so my cousin brought up all of us getting some mexican food. and i said i didn't want to even try to order anything because i've always struggled to order when it comes to mexican and now i have to avoid onion, meat, and citrus? there's just no way. but i can fix myself something and we can all eat together, it'll be fine.

she didn't like that so she said well how about i fix chicken and rice. and i said that would be okay by me but there's still a good chance i won't be able to eat it. and she said well it's just chicken and rice. and i said well don't you put some condensed soups in there and she said yeah but it's just chicken, rice, and cream of chicken and cream of mushroom, it's super simple. and i said yeah, i probably won't be able to eat it because of the soups. she didn't get it and listed the ingredients again, so i said well just don't do anything different trying to accommodate me because i would hate it if you made it inedible for you while trying to make it edible for me. if i can't eat it i can just fix something and we can all eat together.

so she cooked while i went home to deal with pet chores and when i came back everyone else had already eaten anyway so that was whatever i guess. i guess the eating a meal together part wasn't actually that important? but i tried the chicken and rice and sure enough, something made it taste rotten, probably onions in the soups? but i'll never really know. this is just my life now. so i got out my rice and veggies to microwave them and she looked up from her phone and snapped at me "you're not gonna eat the chicken and rice?!" and i said "i can't :'/" and she literally said "oh yeah" 😭 like girl........

i think i pissed her off by not wanting to order mexican and by putting her in a position where she felt she needed to accommodate me and by then not accepting the accommodation either but like!!! i didn't do anything!! i can't help it that i have to live like this now!! you think it's annoying having to be around my food issues for two days imagine having them yourself with no end in sight!! and she's never even asked "what specific foods taste bad" she hasn't asked me any questions about it at all so everything she says or does about it is a complete shot in the dark when she could literally just ask, even a general "so what do you normally eat" would be valuable but no she's not doing that and i'll tell you why it's because she thinks i'm making it up for attention!!!

because that's what she always thinks when somebody's got something going on. her friend is exaggerating his heart problems, her sister's cataracts aren't that bad, her niece's concussion wasn't bad enough to leave work. it's always "they're faking it for sympathy" and that's why she's not asking for important details about my parosmia because she's waiting for me to forget i have it which i can't because most foods taste like rot or shit to me and it's not something that slips my fucking mind. but she doesn't want to feed into my delusion. but she also wants to act like she's trying to accommodate me while not really listening when i say i've already made my own accommodations. it's stupid.