#i'll probably watch severance next (<- like the 5th time they said it)

[vonlipvig]

hhhhh there are a lot of shows i'd like to watch, but watching shows is such a Commitment. with movies i can just pop them in one night and if they're lucky i'll think about them for the rest of my life but like...in the back of my mind. with shows it's a whole brain takeover.

[imnotasuperhero]

DAY 3 OF RARE PAIR WEEK IS HERE!!

BIG WARNING!! Beware of mention of PPD. I apologize deeply if this hurts you somehow. It’s not my intention at all. I just wanted to try a different path and I reaaaaally hope that the experiences and the knowledge I’ve got (I’m an outsider) fulfilled the goal. Please, let me know what you think. I had so many emotions (I just got emotional because I’ve got the okay) so I hope you all like it.

Also, big shout out to @mitchsentrash for the support and the encouragement. I owe you, dude.

Pairing: Chacie

Theme: Single parent

Type: Angst? Fluff

Summary: Chloe finds out she's pregnant. Stacie offers her help. Could they win the battle?

Wordcount: 3292

What the fuck would she do now? Scratch that. How the fuck would she do it?

Chloe felt how her world started to become harder every second that passed. She wasn't ready for this. Most importantly, she didn't ask for this. This was a whole other level that she wasn't ready for and she could fuck it up enormously.

For the last half an hour, she's been walking without destination opting for sitting at the nearby park.  Mistake Nº2, she realized. She discovered right there that the world doesn't stop. Time never stops. If that was the case, she'd give anything to make it happen and have a few extra minutes - God knows the idea of years was tempting enough, but no. She should figure how to continue from now on and how she'd manage to take care of a child. Her child.

"Are you okay? Why are you crying?" a sweet little voice spoke in front of her. Reacting to the sound, her hands moved unconsciously to brush the few tears away.

"I'm okay, thank you," she couldn't surprise the smile that formed on her lips.  Before she could continue, what she supposed was the little girl's mom, called her. She watched with tenderness at the little person waving her hand while making her way to her family.

And that's when she decided it. She'll give her baby the best life she could. Happy accident or not, her baby would be so happy that sadness will never reach them. Even if their family were just two, love will always be there. She promised to themselves.

Bringing her hand to her flat stomach, she let herself start to wonder what the future had for her. Would it be a girl? Or perhaps a boy? Oh god, a little Taz running through the house with their happy spark enlighting her life.

"Since when do you stick with water, Ginger?" Amy asked with a curious expression. Oh, shit. Of course, someone would bring it up. That was the reason she almost turned them down for their monthly Bellas' reunion.

"I just had a rough day and I'm not feeling the alcohol," she shrugged the topic off. Her hand going unconsciously to her belly - as it seemed to be a habit now. But the action wasn't missed for everybody. Not for certain leggy brunette, who just started to analyze every movement she did.

"Another stubborn dog?" Emily asked with the giggle of a little kid. "Ohhh, was it a bunny this time?"

"None, Em. Just a bunch of owners that decided to organize and come together to the revision," she smiled at the younger woman.

The night seemed to go great despite a few compromising questions. How she loved these women that she got to call her sisters. She almost blurts out the words during the evening but decided against it at the last minute. It wasn't the right time, not yet.

"You're pregnant," Stacie spoke after some minutes of silence during the car ride. Chloe's head whiplashing in a way that she could have broken her neck. "I've been there, Chlo," she clarified for the redhead.

"I'm scared and excited at the same time," she confessed. Her hands starting to sweat at the inspection of the brunette. "I found out a week ago," she whispered.

"Why didn't you tell me? Or at least Aubrey," the inquisitive look in the younger woman sending shivers through her spine.

"And tell what? 'Oh, you know? I'm pregnant and Chicago doesn't want to know about it'. It isn't easy," she snapped. Regretting it instantly. "I'm sorry."

"No, no. I get it," Stacie looked at her briefly before centering her vision on the road. "You shouldn't go through this alone. You're allowed to ask for help," Chloe tried to find disappointment in them but failed miserably.

"Who? My parents would kill me if they find out. And the girls have their own lives," she opted to lose herself in the window. The street lights casting an orange shadow on her face, making Stacie's faint at the sight.

"Me," the brunette couldn't help it. "I would gladly help you." And Chloe felt her heart jump at the proposal. Her eyes starting to glaze at the menacing tears.

"Would you really help me? But you already have Bella and-"

"Bella is 5 now and she has a father. I can totally mold my schedule to yours. I'll be there for you, Chlo." the smile on her friend's lips melting her instantly. How could she score such a good friend?

And that's how both women embarked on the exciting journey of motherhood. Stacie was always by her side. She even protested -in vain, when Stacie made herself home for the night when Chloe's body was giving her a hard time. God bless the brunette's heart and patience.

At the 5th month, they finally got to see the gender. Both women crying when they found out it was a girl. She was a sparky bundle for sure, making Chloe laugh whenever Stacie decided to talk to the bump. Hell, even Bella wanted to talk to the baby, which she did.

Days passed and with them passed the months. By now, except her inability to walk straight, some back pain and fluid retention, Chloe had it relatively easy. Stacie -firm at her promise, got to go with her to the Lamaze coaching and helped her to master the tips as the pro she was by herself. It literally amazed Chloe how involved Stacie had become in her life; something she treasured deeply.

As the moment of giving birth came closer, even the other Bellas were now buying different items for the baby to come. Beca just wanted Ellie (yes, the music producer had already named her baby) to be as cool as herself so she always would come up with little tiny rock star's outfits. Claiming that she'll be the greatest godmother ever. Something that led them to arguments about who would be the baby's guarantor.

Cloe's heart melted at all the love she was getting from her sisters. Tears were a common thing by now as she observed them take over her place and stopping her from moving unless it was strictly necessary.

"I promise I'm alright, guys. I just want to help with the room," she tried to fight back. "I'm pregnant, not disabled." Aubrey just rolled her eyes.

"You want to help? Keep doing what you do and sit there," the blonde then grabbed one of the decorations an put it on the shelve above the crib.

She loved visits. She really did. But sometimes they were just so much to handle and she just wanted to be useful. A hand placed on her shoulder, making her jump in place only to find it was Stacie.

"Don't worry. I've hidden some so you can place them wherever you want once we're alone" the warm breath on her ear made things to Chloe.

They both had agreed that since the baby was almost here and everything would become pretty hectic, Stacie would move with her as long as she was required. Something that both women learned to live with. Even Bella had her own place to crash the days she was assigned to Stacie.

"STACIE!" a sudden scream woke her from her happy earth. Running to Chloe's room, she found the redhead with blank face and panic evident in it. "The baby is coming," she said as she stared at her wet sheets.

"OH SHIT!" is all the brunette could mutter as she tried to think properly what to do next. Yes, she's been there and it should be a piece of cake for her... but her whole body started to tremble at the knowledge that she'll get to finally meet Chloe's baby. That baby that made her discover another kind of love. "Okay... with calm steps we'll go to the car, yeah?" she made a mental note to grab the baby's bag. "Come up, everything will be alright" she kissed the redhead's temple in an attempt to calm her.

"OH, MY GOD! She's eager to come to the world," Chloe spoke as they made their way to the hospital. Pain starting to show on her face.

"Listen here, little gremlin. You better wait till mommy is with the doctors or I will never ever give you sweets," she spoke firmly as if the baby could understand her. An action that made Chloe laugh bittersweetly. She could imagine the contractions were something very real now. "Remember babe. Deep breaths. In through-"

"I know how to breathe, Stace! Just hurry up, please." she just decided to bite her tongue and tried to drive as fast as she could without putting them in danger.

It wasn't until several hours later that Chloe got to finally start to push. Hell, her hand would definitely need a checkup after this. She could feel something was about to break. And she probably should throw sacred water at Chloe. The redhead didn't stop cursing since the contractions reached the top level; something so-not-Chloe. Where was her sweet kind friend?

"Oh shit! Please take her out already," Chloe had started to cry some minutes ago. Her whole body shaking in pain.

"Breathe, Chloe. You have to help her, okay?" Stacie kissed the top of her head lovingly at the doctor's words. She herself remembering Bella's birth.

"Come on Red. We almost have her with us. You can do it," she started to whisper encouraging words in her ear. Squeezing her hand every now and then. Something that seemed to help the soon-to-be mom.

"I can't, Stace. I won't make it." Chloe cried the words. Her whole body in a fight between rest and deliver her baby.

"Yes, you can! You're so much stronger than this, sweetie," she brushed some wet red locks off her forehead. "Come on, just focus and push matching her timing, yeah? You can definitely make it."

And after what seemed like hours -but was just some more minutes of screams, tears, and words mixed with love and encouragement, a loud new crying sounded in the room. Chloe just gave birth a healthy baby, if her lungs were proof enough about it. Her heart started to beat frantically as she reached forward to see the baby but the squeeze on her hand made her turn her attention to Chloe. "She's alright. You did it perfectly- CHLOE?!" her heart stopped at the sight in front of her. Chloe had just passed out. The monitors around her starting to beep at a different rhythm than before.

As the doctors and nurses started to work on Chloe, she made her walk to the baby. And she was sure she'd need one of those oximeters because her heart's rate was jumping at the mixed emotions. She was trapped between a healthy beautiful baby and a not-so-healthy Chloe. Her Chloe. She asked for all the gods out there and the universe to help Chloe and so the three of them could go home.

"Would you like to take her?" the pediatrician asked Stacie after she'd finished checking up on the baby. "She's a perfect baby," she spoke as Stacie placed the little body on her arms. Tears starting to fall, again.

"Hell, she is," she couldn't help it but to kiss the newborn head. Her heart grew 100 times bigger at that moment. She dreamed about this moment a lot of times, but none of them were like this. She just decided to lost herself in taking care of the baby in order to stop worrying about Chloe. For what the doctors were saying, it was just a minor complication. God, she was aware that not all the births were the same; but did she wish for Chloe's to be like hers. Just vomit and dizziness.

"The mom will be okay," One of the nurses spoke softly. "She just needs to rest and regain strength," and with a soft squeeze on her arm, she made her way out the room.

Just then she felt the happiness take over her. A soft teary laugh escaping her lips. Both of her girls were safe and sound. All she could ask was for Bella to be here with them. Her family of four -as she pictured quietly in her mind, was a reality. If only Chloe could love her back.

"Welcome, my little sunshine," she whispered to the tiny human in her arms. "I promise you that you'll never be alone," her index finger caressing the softness of Elli's face. She opted she'd call her that till Chloe comes up with her name.

"Stace?" a hushed voice called her. Looking at the bed, Chloe was staring at them with tears in her eyes.

"You did it," she placed the baby in her mother's arms. Her heart jumping at the moment. "You did this beautiful being." she couldn't help but bring their forehead together. Something that she got used to doing time ago.

"She's beautiful," were Chloe's words before a comfortable silence settled between them as Chloe started to breastfeed her daughter. Stacie melting at such an intimate moment between mother-child.

"I want to name her Hope," the redhead looked at her. A shy smile on her lips.

"Hope Beale. It really suits, Chlo" she kissed her forehead before returning her attention to her Hope.

She didn't know exactly when things at home became a mess. Hope wouldn't stop crying and Chloe wouldn't stop feeling sad whenever she had to take care of her child. Her energy started to drown off her body as she tried to calm both parties -literally- all the time. She started to worry that it could be PPD. She knew it was -somehow common after the childbirth itself and, even if she knew little about it, some of the symptoms matched.

"Shhh, it's okay little one," she tried to calm a crying Hope who seemed to decide to test her limits. "Please, don't cry baby girl," she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "Your mommy loves you to pieces. She's just going through a hard moment," she kissed the baby's nose. "I promise you that."

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep" Stacie sang the words fighting the lump on her throat. "In dreams, you lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep…" she continued rocking her softly. Her sweet voice and the movements finally working. Hope started to calm gradually as she continued. "Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through" her left hand starting to brush a thin line in between the baby's eyebrows. "No matter how your heart is grieving. If you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true"

And as if magic was something real, by the end of the lullaby Hope fell in a pleasant dream. Something Stacie was really thankful about. One last look at the crib, she made her way to Chloe. The redhead was in the living room staring at her with tears. Her beautiful smile absent for days, now; making her heartache.

"Come here," She opened her arms as she sat beside her friend.

"You're a literal angel, Stace," Chloe curled up in her arms. Another action that became common among them. When Hope wasn't asking for attention, she'd would happily cuddle Chloe up. Sometimes -always- in bed.

"Can I say something without you snapping?" she asked after some minutes in silence. Her voice trembling with anticipation.

"You know it's not my-"

"I know, baby. I'm aware of that," she started to play with red locks. "That's why I think you may have postpartum depression." the words came as whispers. Chloe pushing herself apart as if she'd been burned.

"Wha-... Do you think so?" and she was surprised that Chloe took her words into consideration. Even if she knew the redhead was very uncomfortable.

"I'm not a psychologist. But the sadness, the anxiety and you not sleeping at all considering I'm looking after Hope... yeah. All those symptoms match," she felt her chest close at the way Chloe could react to this information.

"I... I don't want medication," she almost pleaded. Her voice breaking at the end.

"Maybe you don't need them," Stacie took her trembling hands between her own. "Maybe all you need is going to see someone and working on your bonding with Hope. She needs you, sweetie," her voice came softly. Something that surprised her, but thanked nonetheless.

"I will," Chloe finally let herself cry as the realization stroke her. "I love her, I swear I do!" the sobs making her body shake. "I just want to be a good mom."

"And you will be," Stacie wrapped her arms around her, bringing her closer. "I'm not going anywhere and I promise you that everything will be okay."

Stacie released her own tears right then. She cried all the feeling she had bottled up in order to protect her girls. She needed to gain strength for the recovering. Hopefully, it'll be easier than the last weeks.

Just as she promised them. Chloe and Hope were finally bonding. Chloe had started to enjoy her daughter's spark. Now that the crying decreased noticeably, they got to let her sleep between them when she had colics.

"Look Stace! she has a mole on her neck just like you!" Chloe cried as she got to change her.

"No, she doesn't" the brunette started to look for the mark on the baby's body. And just there, right above her collarbone, a pale brown spot contrasted lightly against the pink skin.

"See?" Chloe caressed the spot making Hope's giggles to sound in the room. Both their hearts expanding every time they got to hear her laugh. "You're like her moma"

Stacie's heart stopped at the words. Her body freezing in time. Sweet lord, would she make a pact with the devil to make it happen.

"Stace?" Chloe called. "You know you are like her mom, right?" and the confusion she felt should be reflected on her face because Chloe just kept explaining. "You took care of her when I couldn't and you love her like your own. You even asked for weeks off after she had born," she felt Chloe's hand squeeze her arm.

"Perks of being a great scientist who is in charge," she joked as if trying to hide the lovey-dovey words menacing to scape her mouth.

She grabbed Hope and started to walk to the living room but a hand grabbed her own, stopping her in tracks and making her face Chloe. Before she could protest, soft lips captured hers. A timid movement that started to became eager. Chloe smiled into the kiss, making her laugh.

"Did you really-"

"I did," Chloe affirmed with her head. "I figured you'd never tell me so I couldn't hold back anymore." she shrugged, taking Hope in her arms.

Her mouth started to open and close at the lack of words. Her brain had probably melted. All she wanted was to properly try those lips. And so she did. Closing the distance -trying to remember that an infant was between them, both women melted in a kiss full of feelings and promises of being there for each other. Forever. After all the stress they went through, she was optimist enough to give herself to the redhead.

"Seems like Bella's wish had become a reality," Chloe laughed softly, kissing her daughter's cheek.

"Seem like we are a family of four," she hugged both her girls, already imagining her daughter's happiness when they get to break the news to the kid the next day. And honestly, she couldn't ask for more.