#i'm gonna get to the rest of my owed starters i swear

[pvlshd]

honesty week !

louis

[calliesmemes]

IN-CHARACTER QUOTES FROM DISCORD

UNHINGED SENTENCE STARTERS FEATURING THINGS SAID BY MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS WHILE WRITING AS OUR MUSES IN A CRACK-BASED NONCANON GROUP CHAT. This post is dedicated to Em, Liz, Tanny, Nellie, Mel, Ange, and everyone else in the server who recognizes these quotes — you know who you are 😈

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   Have you forgotten that you should not steal someone’s property? ”

“   I could slap that smug look off his face right now! ”

“   Your ears are a lie. ”

“   Woah woah that's - that's a bad word. ”

“   I don’t know if it’s allowed and quite frankly I don’t care. Fuck the rules. ”

“   Time for gremlin activities! ”

“   I hate this man. Let's prank him. ”

“   We are all going on strike today I swear ”

“   Looks like I need to invest in a kid leash. ”

“   DONT BE COWARDS!! JOIN THE STRIKE!! ”

“   I support her saying what needs to be said! I am done with the silencing of women!!!! ”

“   I like the dramatics. ”

“   I did not ask for a second opinion. ”

“   You seem to be doing a great job at being a nuisance. ”

“   NO BITING MY EMPLOYEES! ”

“   do you want me to bring you cheese? ”

“   Next move, start chewing on the door frames ”

“   I like crumbs. They are like a little midnight snack in my bed at night. ”

“   if he wants to be a worm, LET HIM BE A WORM ”

“   the rest of you suck my toe ”

“   To be fair I am simply vibing. ”

“   I am going to commit a war crime! ”

“   I am manifesting being happy. ”

“   Am I gonna talk shit WITH you guys? because im down to talk shit about pretty much anyone ”

“   Who says? We shall revolt without question. ”

“   Let's just start burning stuff. ”

“   Did you just call me... small? ”

“   Can I convert you with my kazoo propaganda? ”

“   We were radicalised by The Little Mermaid. ”

“   Penny in the swear jar, now. ”

“   My last words are, bros before hoes. ”

“   The old men are trying to be trendy. ”

“   I can do whatever I want too! ”

“   Can we go one day without an interruption from an American? ”

“   I am so sorry. He enjoys conflict. ”

“   Why is he so tall? ”

“   For legal reasons, kids, that's a joke. ”

“   Would you like to fight the adults? ”

“   You're not meant to bite people, it's frowned upon. ”

“   He’s a fun killer, don't listen to him! ”

“   Ow! Stop kicking me! ”

“   I have quite literally begged you not to kick, hit, or bite today. ”

“   BUT I thought we were buds, pals, amigos, chums, friends. ”

“   Oh shiiiii someone’s in trouble ”

“   How much caffeine have you had in the last hour? ”

“   I'll be honest they wouldn't be so bad if they didn't speak. ”

“   Is this goof meant to be dead or what? ”

“   I am a witch. ”

“   This one reeks of self confidence when he clearly doesn't think before opening his mouth. ”

“  I call bullshit on that rule! ”

“   The point is I have a cane and I’m not afraid to use it. ”

“   If you slap me, I’ll cane you. ”

“   Yippee for women. ”

“   FUCK THE PATRIARCHY ”

“   Sorry for being British. ”

“   Oi who's playing that ominous music? ”

“   I'm strong because I eat carrots. Oh wait or is that to see in the dark.... it's for something. ”

“   I will say sorry when i'm caught, don't you worry. ”

“   AND YOU CALLED ME UP AGAIN JUST TO BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE! ”

“   ... He's done for. Broken beyond repair. Someone play Taylor Swift. ”

“   Please refrain from punching one another. ”

“   He is becoming one with the spider I believe. ”

“   If anybody asks I will say I made you, then you will not get in trouble! ”

“   Can I be a girlboss too? I am not rude to women and I do what i like ”

“   Yippee for patriotism! ”

“   … i could make you guys rat costumes ”

“   Do you think if we started stealing bread we would lose our jobs? ”

“   why do British people ”

“   … you all need therapy. ”

“   Do you ever feel if you breathe the wrong way he will bite you? ”

“   I actively avoid whatever this is. ”

“   CARRY ME. ”

“   What if, and hear me out, they both promise not to do it again? ”

“   I wanna steal all his socks. ”

“   My socks were stolen! ”

“   Hey, watch it now. Only I'm allowed to insult me. ”

“   You couldn’t whisper to save your life. It’s pitiful. ”

“   Both of you are insufferable. ”

“   The law is overrated. ”

“   I’m afraid. Miss, you aren’t my type. ”

“   No. I swear on my life. I am being a gentleman ”

“   I support women’s wrongs. ”

“   ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE!!! ”

“   GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW ”

“   He bites? Are you .. joking? Please say you're joking. ”

“   If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain ifyou're not into yoga if you have half a brain if you like makin' love at midnight in the dunes on the cape then I'm the love that you've looked for write to me and escape 🎶🎶 ”

[oikawaplssteponme]

PART 3 | previously: part 2 | masterlist

pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem! reader

ratings/warnings: swearing, fighting

synopsis: When UA’s hot heads, Katsuki Bakugou and you, are forced to put your hatred for each other aside and plan the third year Prom, things end up getting a little heated...

a/n: hello friends, i hope you all are doing well<3 taglist is open so just lmk if you’d like to be added :)) enjoy xx

•

three: sorry

You sat through the rest of class, watching your classmates battle each other. You wrapped up the cut on your arm and you were good to go. When the school day was finally finished, you headed back to your dorm and changed out of your uniform and into something more comfortable. You began to head down to the basement when you came across Todoroki.

“Hey Shoto, sorry about that,” you said nervously, pointing to the bandaid on his cheek.

“Don’t worry about it. You put up a good fight and looks like I got you too ,” he replied.

“Barely. You better beat me next time,” you smiled. He nodded.

“Don’t worry, I will.” You and Shoto parted your ways and you went down to the basement. The door was propped open. Bakugou was flipping through the folder that Aizawa had given you both.

“Hey…” you said. He didn’t look at you.

“So uh, how should we split up the work?” You asked. He still ignored you. Getting annoyed at this point, you snatched the folder from him.

“HEY-“

“Listen, you were the one who said you wanted to split up the work for this fucking dance so we have to talk in order to have that happen. What’s going on? You seem more pissed off than usual,” you complained. Bakugou looked at you, gritting his teeth.

“I’m fine dumbass. Just tired,” he mumbled.

“Sure you are.” You grabbed a stool and sat next to Bakugou. He rolled his eyes.

“Well damn you don’t need to be that close to me,” he said. You sighed, losing your patience.

“Bakugou, we both need to take a look at the papers. If I could I would be on the other side of the world to stay away from you.”

“Whatever.”

You looked down at the list of everything that needed to get done.

“Okay so for starters we should order the stuff that will take longer to get here. That would probably be decorations and stuff like that,” you said.

“We’d need to pick a theme before we order decorations,” replied Bakugou.

“Oh true. Okay um, any ideas?” You asked. Bakugou got up, walked over to a box, and pulled out 3 magazines. He sat back down.

“The theme packs that are crossed out are ones that have already been used. The themes circled are the ones within our budget. And the ones with check marks are the themes that we could get but we would have to cut back on other stuff to pay for it,” explained Bakugou. Your eyes widened.

“Did you organize this?”

“Yeah. I did it after class.”

“Woah…”

“ITS NOT A BIG DEAL I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE WE DONT MAKE FOOLS OF OURSLEVES PLANING THIS DUMB DANCE!”

“Okay okay. I just didn’t think you cared.”

“I can not care and still want to do it right. Remember if we do a shit job Aizawa’s gonna fail us or something.”

I forgot about that part.

“Okay well which of them do you like best?” You asked. Bakugou opened up the second catalog and turned a few pages. He pointed to a theme.

“This ones okay...I guess,” he whispered. You peered over at the theme, a smile creeping onto your face.

“I like that one too,” you said. Bakugou looked at you.

“Really?”

“Yeah, and its within our budget, so I think it’s a good choice.”

Bakugou cleared his throat.

“Cool um, I’ll grab a laptop so we can place the order.” Bakugou got up abruptly and walked upstairs.

Is he always in a hurry?

~

As you waited for Bakugou to get back, you began compiling a list of the work you would need to do. You decided to take more of the creative lead and began putting together a design for the tickets. You wanted it to match the theme that you and Bakugou had chosen.

“You can draw?” said Bakugou, peaking over your shoulder. You jumped.

“Jesus shithead you can’t just scare me like that,” you said, hitting his arm. Bakugou rolled his eyes.

“I thought you were only good at one thing,” he muttered. You turned to look at him.

“And what might that one thing be?”

“Combat.”

“So you admit I’m a good fighter.” Bakugou got flustered.

“NO I'M JUST SAYING YOU DON'T TOTALLY SUCK ASS,” he replied, “I’m still better though.”

“Well I hate to break it to you Bakugou but I’m a girl of many talents. So yes I can draw. Can’t you cook or something?”

Bakugou’s eyes widened.

“How’d you know that?”

“I remember from the training camp. You helped cook almost every meal,” you explained.

“Can we not talk about the camp,” he whispered. Your chest got heavy.

“Shit um I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine just drop it,” he said firmly. You nodded.

“Um, did you place the order?” You asked quietly.

“What does it look like I’m doing,” huffed Bakugou.

“Yeah sorry.”

“Why do you apologize so damn much?”

“I-I uh, sorry, wait no-” you stuttered out. Bakugou continued typing.

“You should save sorry’s for when they actually matter,” he muttered. You tilted your head.

“So they don’t always matter?”

“Well if you say the word so damn much it just becomes another useless word. Then when you actually mean it, it’s pointless,” he explained. You never really thought about it like that.

“I guess you’re right. Then I’m totally not sorry,” you joked. Bakugou let out a small chuckle.

“Okay nerd, keep drawing your stupid ticket.”

“ITS NOT STUPID!”

~

You and Bakugou worked in silence for the rest of the time you spent in the basement. You checked the time.

“We’ve been down here for like 2 hours. I feel like that’s enough for today,” you said. Bakugou looked up from his laptop.

“Uh yeah. Just let me place this last order,” he said. You nodded and began to pack up your stuff.

“Do you have the keys?” You asked. Bakugou nodded and fished the keys out of his pocket. Bakugou grabbed his things.

“Let’s go dumbass,” he said. You sighed and trailed behind him as you walked up the stairs.

The two of you went back to the dorms and saw your friends socializing in the common area.

“There you two are! We lost you after class,” said Mina, waving the two of you over.

“Yeah well party planning awaits. It’s a lot of work for just two people,” you explained, taking a seat.

“Damn right it is,” mumbled Bakugou.

“How’s the planning going?” asked Kirishima. You looked at Bakugou and smiled.

“Bakugou is having so much fun planning. He even picked the theme for the dance,” you said.

“SHUT UP-”

“Wait what’s the theme?” asked Mina excitedly.

“It’s a surprise,” you insisted.

“Just to clarify, Y/N is just shit at planning so I’m having to do more work,” chimed in Bakugou.

“I KNOW YOU DIDNT JUST-” You stood up but before you could go over to him, Iida had grabbed your arm, stopping you from going any farther. You huffed.

“Anyway, how’s your side Deku?” You asked. Deku had a bandage around his stomach, most likely from your doing earlier during training.

“Oh I’m all good! Recovery Girl definitely knows what she’s doing,” he smiled nervously.

“Yeah well I’m sor-, I mean uh, I hope you feel better anyway,” you replied, “you got me pretty good too Deku, so I guess we’re even,” you joked. You lifted up part of your shirt to show the bruise that Izuku had given you from his punch from earlier.

“OH MY GOSH Y/N I‘M SO SORRY!” panicked Izuku. You laughed.

“Don’t worry about it. Makes me look like a total badass,” you smiled.

“Sure it does,” mumbled Bakugou. You gave him the side eye.

“What the hell is your problem today?” You asked, crossing your arms. Bakugou stayed silent.

“God you are such a piece of shit,” you huffed. Bakugou stood up and walked over to you. He gripped the collar of your shirt, pulling you towards him.

“SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!”

Your blood began to boil. You kicked Bakugou in the stomach to get him to let go but his grip was so tight on you that he ripped the collar of your shirt, causing the two of you to fall to the ground. You pinned his hands down.

“TELL ME TO SHUT UP ONE MORE DAMN TIME KATSUKI! I FUCKING DARE YOU!”

“Stop this at once!” ordered Iida but neither of you listened. Bakugou flipped you onto your back, almost knocking the wind out of you. He then pinned you down as well. Bakugou leaned in to look you dead in the eyes.

“Shut. Up.”

That was it. That was all you needed to be pushed over the edge. You were pissed. Words couldn’t describe your hatred for Katsuki Bakugou.

“THAT'S IT!” Before you even realized it, you were already generating a small bond to hit Bakugou with.

“Y/N NO!” yelled Deku. Just as you were about to throw it at him, Kirishima had grabbed Bakugou off of you and Deku had pulled you towards him.

“BOTH OF YOU! THIS HAS TO STOP!” Shouted Iida. Your breath was heavy as you looked at Bakugou. Kirishima had let go of him but Deku still had his grip on you.

“LET ME AT HIM! I AM SO SICK OF YOU KATSUKI!” You yelled, beginning to struggle from Deku’s arms.

“Fuck off princess. I’m going to bed,” said Bakugou, turning around and leaving.

“YOU OWE ME A NEW DAMN SHIRT!” You shouted at him but he didn’t turn to look at you.

“And here I thought the two of you were finally getting along…” mumbled Iida.

I thought so too.

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @bokutory @complimentaryhugsgirl @cloudswritings @kriswu46 @neodnyl @evivn1 @jazzylove @mileven-reddie @whalerus @misssugarless @random-fandom-girl-24 @fanfiction-and-stress @ushiwakatrash @minhoswife @addictofsupernatural @the-shota-king-masayuki ]

[gyucore]

in the orb

pairing: trapped soul! beomgyu x reader

tags: fluff, angst if you squint, reincarnation au, supernatural au

word count: 1.8k+

warnings: implications of death, light swearing

— you were cleaning your grandmother's attic when you stumble upon an old glass orb that just happened to talk on its own

A cloud of dust scatters around the room after you drop the glass orb on a particularly dusty couch. You've lost it. You've definitely lost it. You're quick to cover your face with your sleeve, fighting back the urge to sneeze. The orb sits still on the couch as it should, a sheet of gray still masking its surface.

This was supposed to be an average weekend. Your grandmother had invited you to her house for some quality time together during your break, and you thought you'd offer to help her clean her mess of an attic, to which she was more than happy to accept. And right now, the sweet old lady was tending to her garden downstairs while you were up here, freaking out.

It's said that people often imagined hearing strange noises when frightened and alone. And you were in a dark and creepy attic at an old person's house. This could just be another case of the common I'm-so-lonely-I'm-starting-to-hear-voices scenario. It's simply wasn't possible for a dusty old orb to start talking when you pick it up. It's just not.

“Hello?” You call out, immediately finding yourself silly for even attempting to communicate with an inanimate object.

The dust in the room eventually settles, and yet still no response. “See, Y/N? You were just hearing things.” That conclusion seemed convincing enough. You felt the need to give yourself a good pat on the shoulder for going along with the sane route.

With that dilemma out of the way, your attention couldn't help but wander back to the large piles of junk occupying nearly every space in the vicinity. One could only hope for your grandmother to clean regularly. “Right, now back to work.”

“What work?”

“Oh, you know. Cleaning.” You answer its question from earlier.

You freeze, eyes wide, a chill running down your spine. There it was again. You weren't sure if you heard it right this time or was just hallucinating, but there was one way to find out.

Silence. You almost called it a day after considering that you were probably just tired and needed some rest.

Half a step outside the door and the voice spoke once more. “Are you still there?”

You pause, brows raised, and back still turned. Somehow, you didn't know if it was safe to face the big ball of dust just yet. “What do you mean? Of course I'm still here. This is my Grandma's house.”

Thank the heavens for modern technology and the invention of smartphones. Speaking of which, you fish for yours in the depths of your pants’ pockets. The voice recorder app should come in handy during times like this. You know, to confirm you're not crazy. With the app on, all you needed to do was have the orb talk again.

“Grandma? Oh! Then you're her grandchild?!”

“Uh, yeah?” The orb apparently knew your grandmother. Strangely enough, that was the least odd tidbit of information you obtained today.

“Her grandchild.. Wow, to think I'm finally meeting you! Or at least your voice?” The orb lets out a giggle and the more you heard it talk, the more human it sounded.

“Sorry, can you excuse me for a minute?”

Never in your life had you thought the day would come where you'd be excusing yourself from a conversation with some sort of decorative object but life has its ways. You were never a stranger to off days anyway.

“Oh, sure, uh, go ahead? I can wait.” The orb swiftly replies. For a second, you could swear something was moving from inside the orb after the light outside the window had hit a clear spot in the crystal.

Heavy footsteps echoed in the room as you dash downstairs, taking your phone out and bringing it closer to your ear, replaying the recording. Sure enough, the voice was caught in the audio loud and clear.

“Holy shit. I'm not crazy.” An exasperated sigh leaves you as you slump back on the wall in disbelief. For a moment, you considered running away and warning your grandma about the cursed object, but part of you was curious enough to disregard the warning signs, and possibly risk your life by going back up there and approaching the thing. You decided to go with the latter.

“Are you back?” The orb asks once you've gotten close enough for it to hear your footsteps.

“Yeah. Just had to do something real quick.”

“I see.”

You wait for the orb to continue but it doesn't. It continues to lie on the couch lifelessly as if it hadn't been speaking to you in the past few minutes.

“Um..” You clear your throat, hoping to get another response

“Oh!" The voice from the orb seemed startled after hearing you talk. “How are you're still there?”

You frown. “Why wouldn't I be?”

“Well for starters, a talking glass orb isn't quite the public friendly concept you'd think it'd be.” It answers. Only now have you noticed that the orb had a particularly low masculine voice. “People don't usually stick around long enough to find out why I can talk in the first place.”

You blink. “Fair point. Though, I don't see the need for you to ask over and over again when I already said I was back.”

The orb chuckles. “You'd be surprised how many times people have reassured me of their presence only to leave halfway. Plus, I can't really see you right now to actually know you're there.”

“You can't see me?”

“The dust.”

“OH.” Not knowing what came over you, you immediately lunged forward and started wiping the orb with one of the dust rags you had lying around. It didn't take long for the thing to clear up and look like its old glorious self again. “How about now?” You ask, inspecting the orb as you hold it up.

“Better.”

It takes everything in you to resist dropping the orb on the floor when a glowing face of a man appears from the inside, smiling brightly at you. “I think I'm gonna pass out.”

The man visibly panics, pressing his face closer to the glass. “Wait no! If you pass out now, I won't have anyone to talk to! I haven't spoken to a single person in decades!”

“But you mentioned my grandma earlier, I thought you—”

“She could never hear me, but I could see and hear her.” The man explains, his voice a little quieter than before.

You bring the orb down, still cupping it in your hands. “How is this possible? Are you a ghost or something? How did you get in there?”

“Wouldn't you like to find out?” He winks, resting his head on his hand. “Take a seat and place me down somewhere soft.”

This seemed ridiculous by all means, but you oblige. The couch should be soft enough, and so you place him down gently while you take a seat on the floor, making yourself comfortable. “You were saying?”

“I—” The man accidentally bumps his head onto the glass as he leans forward, chuckling as he rubs his head gently. “Ow. Sorry. I'm just so happy to finally have someone to talk to. You can't imagine how long it's been. How the world survived without a single soul hearing my heavenly voice for all those years is beyond me.” He cracks a joke and you couldn't help but laugh.

“It's okay.” You say, shifting in your spot. “Go ahead.”

The man nods, the smile slowly fading from his face. “My name is Choi Beomgyu. You can call me whatever you like. I had a friend once, and she was a witch. Oh— not the kind that you hear from stories, no. She was really nice and cared a lot about nature, her friends, and her family. That type of person, you know?”

You nod along, assuring him that you were listening, and he smiles again.

There's just something about his smile that just seemed so happy and endearing. Perhaps it had truly been so long.

“She was this ball of sunshine. And back then I was a pretty different guy. Our personalities might've clashed and we butted heads a few times but somehow we ended up becoming close friends.” A faint smile graces his lips before disappearing as quickly as it came. “But then I got involved with the wrong crowd.”

The statement piques your interest and you draw closer. Beomgyu notices this and tries to talk louder.

“Remember how I said she was a witch unlike the ones in the fairy tales? Well, there were also people who were exactly like those witches. The ones that used their knowledge and abilities for their own nefarious purposes.” Beomgyu continues, his hair slightly covering his face as he looked down. “Let's just say that I got myself in a situation where they ended up hunting me down for my soul.”

“What?”

He frowns. “My friend saw me being chased down the streets one night and helped. We both knew that even when together, we were too weak to go against all of them. They had us cornered in her home, and that's when we knew it was the end for us.”

Beomgyu's voice started to waver as he spoke and you were about to ask him if he was alright, and tell him that it was okay if he didn't continue but the look on his face when your eyes met was enough to tell you that he needed to do this. He must've wanted to talk about this matter for so long, you think.

“She.. pushed me towards her workroom, telling me that she'll keep me safe no matter what. I didn't know what she meant until she cast a spell on me and I passed out. The last thing I heard were her screams. I never found out what happened to her after that, and I can only assume the worst.” He shakes his head, trying to getting himself together in front of his new friend. “Next thing I knew, I was inside her old glass orb. I've been trapped in this thing for years with no escape. No one to talk to— forever regretting how I didn't stop her that time, and regretting getting in the way of those witches in the first place.”

His story nearly brings you to tears, and before you knew it, your hands were reaching out for the orb. “Beomgyu, I..”

“It's alright.” Beomgyu smiles. “In the end, the orb ended up in her younger sister's possessions.”

Your eyes widen. “You mean.. Grandma?”

“That's right.” Beomgyu chuckles. “Though she had never able to see or hear me, unlike you.”

“Oh. That's uh, too bad.” You smile awkwardly, releasing the orb. The two of you sit in silence for a while, both needing a little mental break after that.

Shortly, your attention was brought forth back onto the orb when you hear Beomgyu laugh. You find yourself chuckling along. “Entertained are we, Gyu?”

The laughter stops and his eyes shoot up at you. You hear him mumbling something incoherent before hesitating to speak. “No, no.” Beomgyu shakes his head. “It's just.. It's kinda funny. I'm trapped here repenting for my whole life because of what I've done to her, or thinking about what I could've done.. but you know what? To be completely honest, I was starting to forget what she even looked like. But looking at you now, and hearing your voice..”

The idea popped up in your head and you weren't sure if it was even possible to begin with. But then again, you were talking to a soul inside an orb.

“You were easily granted access to the true nature of the orb, and are the first person to have ever done that without running away.” He kids. “Could it be?”

“I wouldn't count on it.” You tell it to him straight, getting up from your spot on the floor and dusting off your jeans. You knew what he was implying and there was no way that you were even considering yourself to be your great aunt's reincarnation no matter how ridiculous the situation already was. “I'll get back to cleaning. Feel free to talk while I do that.” You tell him before rushing to the other side of the attic, avoiding his gaze as much as possible. You'll figure out what to do with him later.

Beomgyu watches you fondly. You had told him to not even count on the thought of you being the one he's been hoping for all these years but it was too late for that now. 

“Entertained are we, Gyu?” Her voice rings in his mind, and he shakes it off.

“How do you always manage to do such amazing things? I'd appreciate it if you'd stop stirring my heart.” Beomgyu's gaze rests upon your busy silhouette, and he smiles in content.

“It's nice meeting you again, Y/N.”

[alteriius]

Like An Idiot

FANDOM: Final Fantasy XV PAIRING: Gladiolus/Prompto WORD COUNT: 1,121 LINKS: AO3

Losing a game with his best friend sometimes meant being dared to do dumb shit. Unfortunately, Noctis not only gets to dare him to do things on occasion, but also knows who he has a huge crush on.

If this is the type of content you enjoy and you like my work, consider buying me a coffee! Also open to requests!

It was just a dare: That was what Prompto had been telling himself for the past hour. It was a dare that’d likely get him punched in the face, sure, but it was still a dare—which meant Prompto had no choice but to follow through.

He was really starting to wonder if maybe Noctis was just trying to get him killed at this point. If their roles were reversed, he would swear up and down that it was an elaborate assassination plot.

“Dude, do you want me to die? Gladio’s gonna kill me.”

“Everyone dies. Do your king one last service and die for the sake of his amusement, my loyal subject.”

“Oh, I am so coming back to haunt your ass.”

Prompto was fairly certain that even despite surviving all the ridiculous things that Noctis put him through, this would be what takes him down: A simple kiss meant for his bodyguard. He was confident of this for a few reasons. Gladio was pretty scary—in both the “please don’t kill me” and “please just kiss me” kind of way—so he could only imagine that it would get ten times worse if he got an unsolicited kiss from some overly excitable teenager that the prince happened to be friends with.

Unfortunately, Noctis wasn’t near as oblivious as his habit of constantly being asleep and in bed might imply, which meant he was very aware of Prompto’s little crush on his bodyguard.

“Come on, Prom. You can do it. Just run up and give him a peck right here on the lips,” he says tapping them for emphasis, as if making sure that Prompto was aware of the terms. Doesn't want him looking for any kind of loophole, after all, seeing as how that was a talent of his.

“Oh, yeah, man. Like you would do if this was—”

“Hey, don’t bring them into this. You lost fair and square, so you have to embarrass yourself accordingly.”

Prompto can’t help but groan at Noct’s insistence. There’s no way in hell that he’s gonna let him worm his way out of this and that’s exactly what he’d been riding on. He knew, as he left the safety of Noct’s bedroom, that he had no choice but to accept his fate, though that wasn’t to say he wasn’t already plotting his revenge.

But he’s on edge as he advances into the next room, his traitorous friend—if he could really be called that—hot on his heels. He's running his hands down his face, pulling his eyelids down in a way that marks him as anything but attractive when his not-so-secret object of affection suddenly turns the corner.

And naturally, they run directly into each other.

Several undesired events occur as a result. For starters, he wasn’t mentally prepared to run face first into Gladiolus’s luxurious abs. He’d fall into a stunned, stuttering silence, if not for the second thing that occurs.

When he runs into Gladiolus, Prompto does the number one most sexy thing and pokes himself in the gods damn eye. If he wasn’t used to making himself look like a fool in front of the hot friends of the prince of his country—who was, unfortunately, also hot!—he might have opted to lay down and cry himself to sleep on the cold, hardwood floor.

That’s one thing to be thankful for, at least. He doesn’t have to worry about ending up thrice as embarrassed between poking himself in the eye and a poor attempt at kissing if he’s so used to looking like a fool that he doesn’t burst into tears like his anxiety says he should.

“Ow,” Prompto mutters, covering his eye with his hand, nursing the burn that came with his contact being pushed out of place.

“Sorry, chicken nugget. Didn't know you were coming around the corner. You okay?” Gladio asks and a hand lays on Prompto’s shoulder, easing towards his neck before Prompto can answer, before he can insist that all is well in the world of this pleb.

“Y-yeah, just got my eye, no big deal…”

“Here, tilt your head back. Lemme see.”

“No, it's fine, dude. Really. I do it all the time—”

He’s cut off by Gladio doing what he wants—nothing unusual there—a large, strong hand moving up his neck, thumb resting on the curve of his jaw. Gladio guides his movements, tilting his head back with a grasp gentler than he would’ve guessed Gladio was capable of.

Prompto’s heart beats wild in his chest, Gladio’s face too close for comfort as he stares directly into his eyes. His cheeks flush and violet blue eyes—yes, even the one stinging and watering from the shift of his contact—searching the surrounding area for any method of escape.

Naturally, he finds none. It makes sense that the prince’s shield wouldn’t leave many openings.

“Doesn't look scratched. Contact’s gonna have to come out. Hope you carry some glasses with you, blondie.”

“Y-yeah, I do! I, uh, just gotta…”

He trails as off as he spots Noctis coming around the side of them. Their eyes meet for a moment so brief that Prompto wonders if it even happens, but the reminder in familiar blue eyes lingers and Prompto is made unfortunately aware that their little dare is all but forgotten.

But his chance is slipping as Gladio begins to pull away. There are words leaving his lips; he’s saying something about Ignis having dinner ready and—

And Prompto goes for it before his anxiety can convince him otherwise. Shaking hands jump upwards, fingers curling into the collar of Gladio’s shirt, tugging him down into a kiss so quick that Prompto would be more apt to assume it happened only in a dream. Barely a peck on the lips and Prompto is detaching himself from Gladio’s grip, ducking under his arm to escape him before Gladio can catch sight of the color of his face—or he hopes so, at least.

“I'm— I gotta remove my contacts! See you guys at the table!”

The words are thrown over his shoulder as he escapes to the bathroom, but he hears Gladio’s laughter behind him and knows without looking that Noct will be grinning about his victory all throughout dinner. He wonders as he shuts the door behind him if it’s at all possible to hide there for the rest of the night.

What Gladio hollers after him doesn’t help the heat settling across his cheeks, but it does more to ease the worst of his anxiety than any of them might have expected.

“Lemme know if you ever want a real kiss, Prompto!”

He was definitely going to haunt Noct in the afterlife.