#i'm just gonna give y'all blueballs til then tho sorry

[for-the-ninth]

Thanks for the tag @charmcity-jess!!!

Been working on a second draft of Ch. 14 of The Life That Left Me. I've written both Shielan and Cullen as emotionally closed off, but for different reasons. Cullen is a bit softer than she is right now. He's suddenly a small fish in a huge pond and is kinda floundering in his search for purpose as he works his way out of survival mode. I don't want to reveal too much, but suffice it to say Shielan has Been Through It way before the Inquisition, so she has precious little sympathy to offer someone like Cullen, and it shows in their dialogue (which is why I have so much fun writing it).

***

Shielan held the lantern up, eyes raking over his disheveled state. “You look like shit.”

Cullen waited for a self-satisfied smirk or a laugh at his expense, but none came. She only stood, staring blankly, like she’d rather be anywhere but across from him, and he could hardly blame her.

“Thanks.” He tried for an easy chuckle—anything to dull the overbearing awkwardness—but judging by the roll of her eyes, it didn’t land.

“You’re being reassigned today,” she said. “Boss is a real hardass, so you’ll need to stay on your toes…”

Cullen knew he should be paying attention; he knew she never spoke superfluously and she hated wasting her breath, but warm rays of amber filtered through the unsightly hole of the dungeon’s exterior wall and cast their glow on her face, and his spirit was consumed with desires that struck him as unholy. He’d never seen her this early, before stress and exhaustion bore their weight on the muscles of her face. Her shoulders hung low, not drawn together as they were during meetings, and her hair, not yet ruffled by her comings and goings, lay in a neat braid over her shoulder. An errant strand slipped out to frame her face as she spoke, and he stifled the urge to tuck it behind her ear. It'd been so long since he touched another person.

“Hey, asshole!” She snapped her fingers in his face.

“Sorry, I—”

“Fuck me, I don’t know why I even bother.” She turned on her heel and strode away from him. “Might as well be talking to a goddamned corpse, for all it’s…” Her mutterings trailed off as she marched out of the exterior dungeon, and though she gave no such direction, Cullen figured it in his best interest to follow.

“What time is it?” His voice echoed off the stone as he ambled behind her, one hand clutching his aching thigh. Why was he still limping?

“Late.” She stood at the door, arms folded across her chest until he caught up to her. “As I already fucking said, you’re being reassigned today. Finding someone to take you on was a hard sell—that twat of a guard ran his mouth to anyone who would listen about your little meltdown. Luckily for you, the head of kitchen staff trusts me when I vouch for people.”

Cullen hobbled through the doorway and headed straight for the nearest stone column, panting and clutching it with both hands as she pulled the door shut behind him. “You recommended me for the job?”

“Recommended is a strong word. But I said I’d get you reassigned, and I—”

Shielan paused. Her eyes did not avert his own, but flitted off to the side, momentarily glazed over as though she were recalling a memory she couldn’t speak of. When she met his gaze again, her jaw was stiff, and her tone brisk.

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” She cleared her throat and added, softly: “Not anymore.”

tags: @barbex @scribbledquillz @roguelioness @oxygenforthewicked @a11sha11fade @rakshadow