#i'm supposed to be studying medieval religious autobiography but: Squids

[socktopodes]

comprehensive rating of every squid emoji

a sequel to comprehensive rating of every octopus emoji

i had to google squid anatomy for this.  he is floating upside down.  it did not sit right with me and now i Know.  he seems doleful about it.  not all squids will evolve if you flip them upside-down at level 30; show some decency, apple.  5/10; would gently coax into flipping over for his personal comfort

points earned for good squid form, but i am inclined to be slightly suspicious of this squid and his probing stare, his swaying arms.  this squid must be trying to glean my secrets so he can prank me in a most biting personal way.  7/10; would delete my browsing history and skip town

microsoft get a lot of flak for the black border but we must all accept it as a stylistic choice now.  this is a Simple Squid, and that is the fact of the matter.  also, what’s with all these vaguely pinkish squids?  squids can be so many fun and exciting colours.  6/10; would maybe nod and say hello to on a street corner, but would not pursue much of a further acquaintance

samsung, how many times do i need to teach you this lesson, old man?  an artistic battle is happening here and this poor squid is the ring in which you wage it: the duo of hard and soft shading (who have not worked on their choreography, by heaven!) vs. the layers menu.  the effect resembles a person in a squid mascot suit rather than a bona fide squid.  which would be okay if i had not been promised bona fide squids.  but i had been promised bona fide squids, and you have lied to me.  this pushes the envelope by not being a pink squid, but this faded lavender only hearkens of disappointment. 2/10; would look into its sad eyes, shake my head, and walk on

anime squid!  she could go on a keychain.  9/10; would subscribe to her wacky slice-of-life adventures on crunchyroll

twitter drew this squid in a rush by tracing it from the twitter octopus.  disheartening lack of effort.  she is even splayed on the floor like an abandoned stuffed animal.  her eyes are blank with the heartbreak.  your squid deserves better, twitter.  so does your octopus, actually.  4/10; would pick up in my arms and give her a pep-talk about her self-worth

in comparison to twitter and microsoft, this squid evidently has the most care put into his design, which i can appreciate.  i particularly love the detail put into his speckles, and the pads of his lil tentacles!  the shade of pink is a lil ugly but also at the same time a bit nostalgic, like a single barbie shoe from the 2000s you lost the other of and so take care not to lose.  anti-fashion.  love it.  9/10; would buy the fun separately-sold plastic accessories for

have you ever seen a squid so miffed?  it’s in the eyes.  defensive posture.  he’s swimming away.  who upset this squid?  i mean, he looks like an okay squid.  why pick fights?  don’t fight squids.  they’ve done nothing to you.  7/10; would go like “hey, it’s okay, buddy”, get him out of the situation, and take him for falafel

this is either a gummy squid that has infiltrated my array of Actual Squids (+ 1 mascot suit), or it is an absolute monstrosity of gradients.  i want to think it’s the former.  saying bad things about squids makes me sad, and this post is my harpooned albatross.  ???/10; would disqualify on grounds of being confectionery

just fuckign look at this fuckign squid.  this is the worst-drawn squid on this whole list and i love him.  he’s owning it.  he makes it work.  look at those googly cross-eyes.  this squid looks like he lives on a geocities webpage designed to teach young children and fun-loving people of all ages about cool squid facts, and as anyone will know educating people about cool squid facts is the noblest profession of all bar none.  his tentacles are either raised to give you a hug, or pointing to the banner where you can play exciting and incredibly clunky flash games like Shrimp Catching and Ink Painting and Cephalopod Crossword (where the only word to find is SQUID).  mvp.  winner of squids.  1,000/10; would trust with my LIFE