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[makingeveryeffort]

Pulled toward Jesus

God recently gave me an amazing revelation about sin. Every time believers talk about sin, it is referred to as disobedient, rebellion, breaking the law, etc. The Lord showed me another side of sin that I'm not sure the majority of Christian communities are ready to hear about yet.

For years, we always say that sin is missing the mark. I never really thought about that and like so many automatically went the route of disobedience, rebellion, screwing up, breaking God's rules, etc. In Hebrew and Greek, it wasn't always used in such harsh conditions. The example a certain preacher used was if an archer was shooting for a target and he didn't hit the bullseye, they would say that he sinned. There is no disobedience, no rebellion, no breaking of God's rules or anything harsh like that. It was just, you missed the center, just pull out another arrow and try shooting again.

How does this relate to our Christian walks? The example the Lord showed me was the sickness in my body. My gout, high blood pressure, diabetes symptoms, pain in joints, and sicknesses are all sin! They miss the mark of what God has ordained for us which is health.

3 John 1:2 "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."

What does this mean? This means that any sin in my life whether it's as severe as disobeying what God has asked me to do or to an area where I miss the mark like health or finances, it all pulls me toward Jesus.

Romans 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

Having sin doesn't condemn me anymore, but rather it catapults me towards Jesus. I repent and continue moving forward. This revelation has been so liberating and it blessed me so much when God showed this to me that I had to share with you guys.

I hope if there is any area that you fall short or miss the mark, that it pulls you toward Jesus instead of pushes you away from Him. God Bless you both my brothers.

[makingeveryeffort]

Delusional

Mosaic is kicking our butt.

I had in my mind that Mosaic splitting up into so many groups was because they were lacking vision and just split because of number. After hearing what Carol, Kareen and Katie had to say the other night, it opened my eyes to the frankly, really poor condition of Summit.

We talk about how we want to influence and help lead Mosaic, but in reality, they are doing much better than we are. Not only do they have consistent numbers showing up each week, but they are getting stuff done. We aren't getting jack crap done. We come together and talk about what we want out of the group and 3/4 of the group don't know what they want from Summit and then refuse to commit to the group. Where has the loyalty gone?

As I was praying tonight, the more I think that splitting Summit up is a good idea. The people who truly want to grow and get stuff done should be meeting together consistently. As much as I want all the brothers to be the best they can be, all we ever do is repeat ourselves in the group.

I'm not saying we have to master 1 particular thing, but sharpening and challenging each other should always be high priority because we aren't going to get it anywhere else. Most members of Summit just casually attend church and casually serve.

I refuse to be delusional about things going on around us anymore. It's time to open our eyes, be loyal to one another, to the group, and to the church. Let's continue to step it up and be like Emeril Lagasse. BAM! Kick it up a notch!

[makingeveryeffort]

Right Believing

Recently, the Lord has been teaching me that I have been approaching things incorrectly. I have been believing FOR the right things, but not necessarily believing THE right things.

You guys know that for the past week or so I have had pain in my legs from working out. It escalated towards the latter days of the week to my heel making it really difficult to put pressure on it to walk. It was also very sensitive to the touch causing me to believe that it had to do with gout again. I had been praying for healing pretty much every night that God would heal me of this so I can get out and do stuff without coming home in terrible pain and exhausted from spending all my energy just trying to get around.

The Lord showed me that my belief FOR healing wasn't the problem. The problem was everything behind that belief.

Belief that:

I had to earn it

I had to be "right" with Him

He doesn't always heal

I don't deserve it

I'm not worthy

I need to have enough faith

I need to apply my faith

Once I learned how to have a right belief, my healing came instantly. I was still not mobile Saturday night. Ivo can attest to that as he picked up dinner for me. You guys saw me on Sunday morning. I was walking around and making my way through church.

There was still some lingering pain, but I would say I was 90% healed and it happened instantly. I went to bed with minimal pain and I woke up with even less. PRAISE THE LORD!

I hope we can start aligning our beliefs with God's Word and truth and really start making things happen. Not only in our personal lives, but in Summit, in church, and in our communities

[makingeveryeffort]

Emotions

Emotions are not meant to be controlled, but directed. "Dealing with feelings" means to associate positive meanings such that things happen for me rather than to me. These meanings would support and empower me rather than cripple and disempower me.

The quality of my life = the quality of my emotions!

[makingeveryeffort]

Love and Passion

Coming back from Date with Destiny, I realized that my relationship with CK has been lacking passion. We have a lot of love, but we were lacking passion. I, was lacking passion. And love is not enough.

What's Missing?

I started to wonder what was missing. Is it because I never actually "pursued" her? Was it because I was so serious about the dating relationship from the beginning due to Xiao's involvement? Had I missed out on a lot of fun in the beginning of the relationship? Can I blame Xiao and everyone else who contributed to the weight of the relationship from the get go?

What am I missing?

This game sucks. It's neither productive nor empowering.Instead of asking "what was missing?", I started asking "what am I missing?" The list started slowly, but then grew massive...

Gratitude for her service

Creativity

Resourcefulness

Intentional, progressive effort

Energy

Motivation

Guidance

Experience (this far into "the game")

New ideas

Personal time

Anticipation aExcitement for something new

Etc.

Then I asked another question, 

Do I accept what get or get what I accept?

This identified for me that most of all, I lacked focus. I had allowed my relationship with CK to flow as it would, without leadership. In truth, I had failed to lead myself first, which is the first level of leadership. Without self leadership, I lacked focus, and where focus goes, energy flows. It's no wonder my relationships have felt passionless lately.

God had also reminded me of what I had allowed to happen in my relationship with Him. I had not been fully present in my relationship with Him nor with CK, and this lack of focus had allowed a lot of the passion to die.

Thus, I've resolved to live more in each moment of my life, including with God and CK. This means that I will focus and intentionally apply energy to these relationships in my life. For starters, I've scheduled to start salsa classes with CK on Wednesdays. Ow ow! It's gonna be great =D

[makingeveryeffort]

Showing up for me, Showing up for God

I had another coaching call today and I am really enjoying them more and more. My coach has laid the foundation already and now has been pushing me harder, asking tougher questions, and really not allowing me to slack in any way. Not that I have been at all. Praise God!

After talking more about the restaurant and what needs to be done to move forward, she reminded me that every day I need to be doing something to move me towards that vision. It doesn't always have to be a giant leap every day. It can be as simple as doing a little bit of research, making some phone calls, taking time to reflect and measure, etc.

That was such a great reminder that I had forgotten. That ought to be evident for everything in our lives. We should be taking steps every day to move TOWARDS something and never away from anything. Like the questions we ask about people leaving church. Are they moving towards what God is calling them to or are they just running away from a current issue at their church? Are we pushing forward or being pulled forward?

Making the decision today to move towards everything in my life. Allowing things to pull me towards them instead of me having to push through a "have to". I encourage us all to do the same.

[makingeveryeffort]

Facing Forward, Looking Forward

Tonight I was in Starbucks. Grabbing some coffee and doing some work while waiting for people to finish with their commitments with family, etc.

Sitting in front of me are a couple of friends on a coffee date. They are both super young and just talking about a lot of different things. They started talking about the future a little bit because of their age. "What is there to look forward to? My 30's?"

I wanted to just be like, you have EVERYTHING to look forward to. Which really reminded me of my own situation. So often we think because of the stories we have heard or even tell ourselves, there really isn't much to look forward to. I'm so thankful that there are people in my life that continually drive me forward even if they never say anything to me. More than that, I'm so thankful that God has such a huge plan for my life. I know that I don't know all of it, but who cares, that's what I look forward to.

Regardless of our age and stage of life, we have EVERYTHING to look forward to. We serve a God that never grows weak or weary. Everything we do, we do for the glory of God and He will make ALL things work together for good for those that love Him. Keeping facing forward and looking forward to all that God has in store for us. It's going to be an exciting adventure!

PRAISE GOD!! HALLELUJAH!!

[makingeveryeffort]

"Follow Me"

For camp follow up, I was basically told what to preach about. Regardless of how I feel about that, I'm just seeking the Lord about what to preach about. I would rather bring a great message to the youth than be upset about not getting to preach the message that God originally intended.

The leadership team asked me to preach from John 21:15-25. Basically Jesus redeeming Peter 3 times and then inviting Peter to follow Him. As I was preparing a little tonight, the Lord pointed something out to me. The Lord asked me "what was I asking of Peter?" After thinking about it a little, I gained some new revelation. He specifically told Peter how he was going to die, and THEN He invited Peter to follow Him. Basically saying that if you follow Me, then this is how your life is going to end. Yet Peter still made that decision to follow Christ.

God is asking the same thing of me and all His children. Not that we will all die tragic deaths, but in order to follow Him, the demand is our life. I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but this just hit me in a different way tonight. I know we always teach that to be a Christian is to dedicate our lives to Christ, but this just seems so much deeper than that. Just something to think about I suppose.

[makingeveryeffort]

Happiness With Effort

I was very blessed to speak with my brother and role model after church service today. I shared with him some of my struggles and dilemmas to which he suggested a shift in definitions.

Instead of focusing on the prize alone, can I not be happy with my efforts? Can I redefine success with deep understanding of what I can influence and what I cannot control?

Instead of defining success as reconciling CK with her parents - BEFORE our wedding, can I be honest about what I can merely influence and not control? Can I tell CK that I love her, and be happy that I did, regardless of how she responds? This massively changed my perspective and enabled me to celebrate my efforts, and arguably "successes" =)

[makingeveryeffort]

Truth Speakers

A year ago, we talked about the Abigails in our lives, who would remind us who we are in Christ. Having just finished reading The Servant Leader, I am again reminded that I need more truth speakers into my life.

[makingeveryeffort]

A Buggy Ministry

Last night as I was in total rest, the Lord gave me a dream. At first, I only remembered that it was a little strange. I didn't think much of it until I was worshiping God at CECD this morning. As I was worshiping, the Lord provided the interpretation to the dream.

In the dream, I was standing next to the rental car that I have right now. The Chevy Cruze. When I opened the door, there were a few bugs inside the car. I don't know what kind or species of insect they were, but that's not important. They were just walking around on the center divider, on the driver seat, on the dash, etc. There was a larger bug that was close to the door and I used a shirt or something in my hand to brush it out of the car so I could get in. I do eventually get rid of that bug, but there were still more inside the car.

The interpretation to the dream is this. The car represents my ministry. I believe God used the current car because it represents my ministry currently. The bugs represent just that, bugs within my ministry. The way the Lord related it, is like a bug in programming. The code just isn't working the way it should be. Likewise, although the ministry God gave me is totally awesome, it's still a little buggy right now. Not everything has been worked out and/or fixed/changed for His glory. Me brushing the bug out of the car represents just that. Cleaning out the bugs or preparing myself to be able to handle my ministry.

At this point in time, I'm still learning, growing, maturing, and preparing for what God has truly called me to do. There is plenty of time to practice and gain experience with every opportunity that arises. That is all in preparation of the greater picture. Praise God for that!

This dream is something I really needed from the Lord and I honestly had no idea I needed it so much! It gave me a renewed patience. It encouraged me to know that I am still on the right path. It also reveals that God is still leading me and working with me to create more holiness within me. I was so thankful when He gave me the interpretation and it was totally awesome that I was able to visit CECD today and worship with that family.

Keep pressing on guys. Just like Pastor Josh preached today. We leave what's behind and press on towards the mark. What are we going to do today and the rest of this week to know Jesus better?

[makingeveryeffort]

Back to square one

I've discovered that I hate resets. I am very annoyed when someone claims epiphany when it's been staring them in the face, blaring in their ears, for a long time. I take special notice when I perceive myself to be among the messengers.

When I attempt for some time to contribute a concept, idea or perspective to someone, I expect acknowledgement at the very least, hope for understanding, and am impressed if it is applied immediately.

It's as if I have a rule about the knowledge I share. It becomes an extension of me. If you understand it, you understand me. If you acknowledge it, you acknowledge me. If you apply it, then we have connection. The opposite seems to be true. If you don't understand it, you misunderstand me. If you don't acknowledge it, I am ignored. If it isn't applied, then it must be because I'm dead to you.

Somehow, this even extends to circumstances when I'm not a messenger, but rather a mere observer of growth. Seeing someone backslide is personal to me. I've come to learn that I'm not responsible for other people's growth. But it's still hard to put that notion into practice when the backsliding adversely affects me. It's like pressing reset on our relationship. We're back at square one.

This applied meaning of betrayal and insignificance creates a feeling of injustice, of insecurity. I become anxious to remedy the situation immediately, which usually leads to chaos and true disconnect.

I wonder if this is a lack of grace on my part. As of late, negative feedback forms my response much more than positive feedback. It's like I'm constantly fighting. And I am tired.

If I have to go back to square one, I'd like to hit reset on my bitterness, my resentment, my sense of entitlement. I need to break down the walls that I've erected that imprison me in a self-condemning story: I am too insignificant to be loved, acknowledged or understood.

[makingeveryeffort]

State of Resourcefulness

I received some very demotivating news yesterday and immediately entered a state of being a frustrated, disheartened victim. In this state. This state sucks. A lot.

It was not until I changed my state that I was able to change my beliefs that my situation was a great learning opportunity that challenged my masculinity. I then felt very empowered to strongly influence my situation.

[makingeveryeffort]

Good is the enemy of great.

Jim Collins, Good to Great

[makingeveryeffort]

On the Edge Incantations

I had heard the value of incantations for over a year now, but have not actively leveraged them - until today. Today, I was announced as the new Director of Development for my group. I'm now convicted that incantations are crucial, absolutely crucial, when at your edge. So if you're not using incantations, are you really at your edge?

[makingeveryeffort]

Architect of her environment

A thought struck me during our men's group discussion tonight about the masculine being attracted to the feminine. A brother shared that he has learned that people change. What used to turn you on may now turn you off. What you used to like may seem irritating now. The point was that masculine may not always be attracted to the feminine.

That's when a new perspective was realized in my mind: the masculine IS always attracted to the feminine, but it must be in certain environments and states. Usually, the roar of a feminine storm is a turn off for us. But that doesn't mean that we're not attracted to it. It's just too much force in a confined amount of space.

As a masculine man, perhaps it's not my directive simply to stand strong like an oak tree or to navigate the dangerous waters like a ship. Another path may be to increase the boundaries that she feels is placed on her, to make her swimming pool into an ocean. That seems much more in tune with leadership than simply staying put.

I realize that sometimes, there's nothing you can tangibly do but to be a rock. But those times are probably fewer and further between than I perceive.

Step up!

[makingeveryeffort]

Criticism is a gift from heaven?

My task this week from my coaching calls is to come up with 5 statements that declare why being criticized, whether justly or not, is great; so great, that it should be considered a valuable gift.

This is difficult for me because aside from seeing where you are and being able to see where they are, being unfairly criticized seems to bring a bunch of pain. Could it be preparation? Sure. But surely, there's a better way.

I cannot control when others criticize me unfairly. But I can control my response to them, to myself and to God.

I'll update with my answers when I have them, but tonight was a huge night for Carol and me. Throughout the day, we bickered over the phone. I was unable to get into the zone to be able to work on Pyrsana/Spyr. It wasn't until later in the night that I was able to muster enough oomph to do what needed to be done. This is fairly typical. I have given Carol the ability to completely bring me up as well as the ability to bring me crashing down. She can do this with a single sentence at times. So much for being an oak in her feminine ocean, eh?

The surprising thing, though, was that when she arrived home from work, Carol was a different woman. It seemed like God transformed her during the drive home into a humble, objective and edifying communicator. She responded in a way that both acknowledged my feelings as well as expressed her own in a sincere and teachable manner.

This is a huge contrast to how I would have described her even after she just left her workplace. Throughout the day, I would have described her communication skills as that of a cricket to a human - constant in her own way, completely neglecting my input or responses.

In fact, I'm so caught off guard, with this positive change in her that I didn't know how to react. It was a very humbling experience for me. It reminds me that while she can be the bearer of criticism that grinds me to dust, Carol can also speak life and joy into my soul. This is something I desperately need to happen more often.

Perhaps being verbally assaulted or personally misunderstood is a chance to surrender to God and humbly continue to give grace and love. More to come. For now, I'm still processing Carol's drastic and sudden increase in communication skills. Seriously, it's like she took some sort of communication steroid.