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#i'm taking my puppy stuffie husband got me when we had to live apart for a summer before we got married
inniave
·
4 months
Text
after surgery i'm buying myself pentiment goddamnit
#reasons to live
#also new doctor who episodes
#i've been wanting to play for soooo long but haven't really had the money to spend
#so i'm using this as an excuse
#trying to focus on all the fun/good/cool things that i can do after
#seeing hozier later in the summer
#watching the wild flowers come up in the backyard
#this is hell but i will get through it and there WILL be an other side i will make sure of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#there's a chance we can get it done tomorrow if the doctor thinks it won't be super complicated
#i hope we can cause the longer this goes the more we suffer
#i just want it to be over
#once i'm all healed i am going to smoke a cigarette and savor every fucking puff i haven't been able to smoke for over a k month now :/
#another thing to look forward too
#and i think i have a vinyl preordered???? am can never remember what other parts have bought
#oh and i'm going to binge rewatch the hunger games (all of them) after surgery
#been meaning to do that & im using this as an excuse to do nothing but watch movies all day
#got some audiobooks downloaded that hopefully they'll let me listen to during (unless it's going to be loud (??) then i have music)
#i'm taking my puppy stuffie husband got me when we had to live apart for a summer before we got married
#puppy is so special to me
#he goes everywhere with me
#i love him so much
#i would just hold him and cry and cry and cry when husband had to leave :((((
#i am so scared
#there's so many young parts too who are just i mean they are the ones holding a lot of this shit like i cant imagine what it's like for the
#the little bit that leaks through to me is horrific and makes me want to fucking vomit
#i'm worried for them
#they're splitting bad :((( and i don't have any way to help
#we're doing our tapping and tre and everything but idk how much that helps on the inside
#idk man
#it's all so much
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