#i'm thinking specifically of the moment when beau called essek good and caleb immediately implied essek shouldn't accept that
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i remember a fic going 'caleb teaching essek that being good means constantly feeling guilty is not the way' and yeah
#critical role#like the vibe i got from the last ep was the other nein members comforting essek that he is good/can be good/shouldn't just hate himself-#-perpetually and then caleb going 'IGNORE THAT YOU NEED TO DO X Y AND Z'#i'm thinking specifically of the moment when beau called essek good and caleb immediately implied essek shouldn't accept that#like caleb is not the ideal teacher lol#for understandable reasons because he still hates himself and thinks that's the way#you aren't going to have a lot of energy to do good deeds well if you're constantly pummeling your own mental health#by thinking about how bad you are and how you can never feel good about the times you've helped people#at least caleb said 'try to be kind to yourself' at the end but after everything else he's done/said it doesn't feel like enough to bring-#-that message home
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