#i'm trying not to reread these otherwise i'll delete them

[maschotch]

A Taste Beyond Comprehension

day six: sweet treats

part two of my “hotch is good at everything” hc. penelope’s a little jealous, but it’s outweighed (and outnumbered) by the team’s bewilderment. i tried actually writing fucking dialogue since i realized i hadn’t done that yet, so it was kind of a last minute addition. anyway. pretend this isn’t a day late

Hotch was a good baker.

Not a lot of people would’ve guessed that about him, but if you thought about it a little bit, it’s really not that much of a surprise.

It’s meticulous. Precise. Everything is about following every rule to the letter. It requires patience.

It’s right up Hotch’s alley.

Penelope was the one known for bringing tasty treats to the BAU. She enjoyed cooking for others; she would recipe test weekly, and whatever passed inspection would get mass produced and left on the break table or communal fridge. It was an irregular, but common, tradition.

Common enough that no one questioned it when a platter piled with cookies showed up one day in the kitchenette. Or the next week when a dozen pounds of fudge appeared on the counter. Or the following week when there were stacks of tupperware filled with cupcakes.

Penelope was a little confused when a passing agent would compliment her on her latest creation, but quickly brushed it aside. It wasn’t until the third week of undue praise that she asked Derek if he knew what they were talking about.

She didn’t leave the batcave often—especially when the others were out on a case—and even when she did she was either in the round table room or hovering around her friends’ desks. She rarely had reason to be in the break area, other than the times she dropped off food.

So it came as a bit of a shock to them all when she admitted she hadn’t brought anything recently. Curious, with nothing better to do and a laughable social life, they decided to attempt to ferret out the resident baker.

It took a few days of arriving hours early and staking out the breakroom (they had duos on a daily rotation: Penelope and Derek were today’s) until they finally saw Hotch walk in with a tin of brownies.

They thought they were delirious at first. The others definitely did when they broke the news. They sat on their desks in a circle, uncharacteristically silent, lost in thought as they imagined Aaron Hotchner baking. It was painfully domestic; certainly not unreasonable—they knew he had a family, after all—but such a stark contrast to their mental image of their powerful leader. It took nearly an hour for each of them to shake off their stupor and they resumed the huddle to determine their next move.

The confrontation was as boisterous as expected: not by Hotch, mind you, but by the gaggle of excitable agents tripping over each other to get into his office like crabs trying to get out of a bucket. The small room was suddenly very crowded.

“…Can I help you?” Hotch asked warily, raising an eyebrow as the commotion settled.

For once they were quiet, eyeing each other waiting for someone else to say something first. JJ was ultimately the one to muster the courage and blurt out, “Do you bake?”

It was more of an accusation than a question, and Hotch’s face remained impassive, though he felt a hint of a tug on his lips. So that’s what this was about. “Yes.”

They all knew better than to expect him to elaborate on his own. Emily shouldered her way through Reid and Morgan to stand in front. “And you’ve been bringing stuff here? To the BAU?”

Another question that wasn’t a question. Hotch simply nodded.

Penelope huffed, growing a little impatient and admittedly a little peeved that someone else—their unit chief, no less—had been providing food for the rest of the team. Good food. She’d always been better at cooking than baking, and it was a little embarrassing to be outdone by someone she forgot even ate food. “Any particular reason?” Morgan asked, smartly phrasing it in a way that would garner an actual response.

Hotch shrugged noncommittally, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. If they squinted hard enough, it almost seemed like he was smug. The nerve.  “Jack’s been wanting to bake more often. He’s trying to figure out what to bring for the class party. It’s too much for just the two of us.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He could hear Emily smile more than he could see it, which should’ve been enough of an answer in itself. He knew he would be teased no matter what he said, and he wasn’t interested in encouraging them. He remained silent.

Reid, practically married to the coffee machine therefore in the break room constantly, ran through his recollections of food available in recent months. “Did you bring the sugar cookies last June?”

Hotch nodded curtly, growing tired of questions they knew the answers to. If it was possible for five people to collectively wince, they would have. They knew they would wear down his patience eventually. They probably had about a handful of questions left before he sent them away.

“How long have you been baking?”

He stared at the ceiling for a moment, silently counting. “About 25 years.”

“Oh shit,” Emily hissed quietly, earning an elbow in the gut from JJ. Though none of them could really fault her for voicing their surprise.

The interrogation continued. “Have you brought food before?”

“Yes.”

“How long have you been bringing food?”

Hotch jutted his chin towards Rossi’s office. “More in the early days. Didn’t have much time when I was adjusting to the unit chief workload. But I still do every once and a while.”

Reid was making a mental note of all the times there had been baked goods waiting in the breakroom. He locked eyes with Penelope and they silently agreed to go over the list later to check what she had/hadn’t brought and figure out what exactly their esteemed leader fed them.  

“What else can you make?”  

Another shrug, but this one was laced with barely perceivable exasperation. Their time was running out.

An energy sizzled in the air as they all feverishly whittled down their curiosities, trying to decide what to prioritize. It was only a handful of seconds, but with their minds were working overdrive, it might as well have been hours.

Morgan ultimately made the final request. “Will you make something for us?”

A pause. The other silently approved the question, but they feared all they’d receive in return would be a blank glare. But it was worth a shot. It opened the door for future discussions, which they knew wouldn’t go unnoticed by the senior profiler.

The next few seconds were excruciating before he finally replied. “What would you like?”

If the room was buzzing before, it was positively electric now. They turned to each other and whispered in a hushed deliberation. They hadn’t really considered the possibility that they would have options. Seemingly endless options if his vague responses were anything to go by—a known indicator of Hotch’s humility. He was likely more skilled than they previously thought. It was impossible to decide.

“Can we ask later?” They were all wide eyed, brimming with hope and practically pouting. It wasn’t dissimilar to Jack’s kindergarten class.

Hotch hummed and waved them off with one hand as he returned to the paperwork on his desk, taking care not to smile until the door closed behind them.

[wilddragonflying]

Alright, tagged by @tiltingheartand and I'm writing this on mobile bc otherwise I'll forget so forgive any typos/weirdness!

How many works do you have on AO3?

247, however a bunch of those are from the Collaborations series! It's a series collecting all of the fics that @queerpeasantchic and I have written 😁

Total AO3 word count?

3,093,324 (2,065,618 of which is from the aforementioned Collaborations)

What fandoms do you write for?

Ahahahahahaha ummmm

9-1-1, Roswell: New Mexico, Baldur's Gate 3, Fallout (as a whole), Detroit: Become Human, Sandman, Avengers, Stranger Things, Borderlands, MCU, Teen Wolf, Dragon Age, Far Cry (specifically New Dawn), The Witcher, Overwatch, House of Ashes, Harry Potter, Skyrim, Mass Effect, Justice League, Kingsman, The Quarry, Wonder Woman, How to Train Your Dragon, Buzzfeed Unsolved(don't think I actually published anything for that one tho)

Honestly like. If I'm in a fandom, odds are I WILL write a fic for it at some point

Top five fics by kudos?

A Question of Pack (Teen Wolf, sterek, canon-compliant thru I think s2? Been a while since I've reread it, but people are still reading it! Collab w/ @queerpeasantchic)

Between the Drinks and the Morning (Witcher, Geraskier, PWP)

Rumor Has It (9-1-1, Buddie, 5 times people thought buddie were divorced + 1 time they realized they want to be married)

What (Not) to Tell Your Friends (Teen Wolf, Sterek, established relationship w/ sex-repulsed ace!Derek where the rest of the pack finds out sterek have never had sex and meddle; another collab w/ @queerpeasantchic)

Two Steps Forward (9-1-1, buddie, Ramon and Helena come to visit after Ramon's retirement party and they misunderstand buddie's relationship, featuring Ramon trying Very Hard and not quite hitting the mark, but acting sincerely)

Do you respond to comments?

I will if there's a question or if the commenter is being a dick - odds are I'm more likely to respond if they're an asshole because I like tearing them apart them freezing the comment thread and deleting any other comment attempts 😂

Fic with angstiest ending?

Oh jeez I don't know I don't...... think I've ever done a non-happy/hopeful ending?????

Fic w/ happiest ending?

.... see above 😂 most of my endings are happy!

Do you get hate on fics?

Yepper-ooni 😂 I actually have a couple of fics that were motivated entirely by some idiots who didn't understand the concept of 'don't like don't read' when it comes to messed up characters having messed up relationship dynamics 😂

Do you write smut?

I sure do! Surprise myself with it sometimes, but sometimes you just gotta sit down and bang out 6k words about your favs banging

Craziest crossover?

Hmm I don't typically do crossovers, but I did write a couple leverage/supernatural fics way back when I started writing & posting fics; that's the only one coming to mind right offhand

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Ye! Or at least, had some where a request to translate was commented lol

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

See the very first answer 😂 I co-write loads of fic w/ @queerpeasantchic but I also like to talk about my WIPs w/ people like @tiltingheartand who is wonderful to bounce ideas off of and who has provided much food for thought & inspo 💖

All time favorite ship?

Oh God that's a toughie 🙈 I gotta say either Parker/Hadison/Eliot, or buddie, or maybe sterek???? It's so hard to choose

WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Oh Jesus *guiltily glances at google drive* there are.... way too many 🙈

Writing strengths?

Hmm I like to think I'm good at digging into a character's head and showing the internal thoughts

Weaknesses?

Anything requiring a physical description 😂

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

If the POV character knows the language, I'll usually put it in italics w/ a note about which language it is, but if not, then I'll describe the other speakers' mannerisms/attitude as they speak

First fandom you wrote in?

Erm I think that might've been Warrior Cats, *way* back when I first discovered fic!

Favorite fic you've written?

Without a doubt, Supplementations and Upgrades! This is a fic inspired by a Tumblr post wondering what if BioWare *had* gone with the apparent original idea of the geth bringing Shephard back to life for ME2. I wrote the first chapter as a one-off with my Shephard, Rochelle (biotic ping pong ball of death), and then the idea just wouldn't leave me alone! Ended up being over 230k words and honestly it's my biggest project to date and the one I'm most proud of 😁 I constantly re-read it, and have commissioned art for various chapters from @defenestratin! (With plans for more bc I CANNOT get enough of how they draw Rochelle 😍)

I'm gonna tag........... @queerpeasantchic @systlin @inexplicifics and anyone else who wants to give it a shot 😁

[sleepyfaceandsnark]

Fic writer interview

Tagged by the boo @bellafarella

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

116.

I used to have close to 300 but I deleted or orphaned a lot of them (especially the 5 sentence prompts which were like 50 lmao) and some I was just not liking or felt I could've done better or felt like I could add it to another fic instead.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

340,713 --- damn i didn't even know this existed. I wonder how much it ws before I deleted lmaoo

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Actions Speak Louder Than Words - Ian/Mickey 753 kudos

I Don't Love You, But I Always Will - Ian/Mickey 723 kudos

Parent/Teacher Conference  - Ian/Mickey 712 kudos

Frank Fucking Gallagher - Ian /Mickey 644 kudos

Never Have I Ever  - Ian / Mickey 540 kudos

genuinely surprised by these lol

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! Or try my best to. I lovee getting comments. Half the time I write it's just to see people's comments or tags lol. Idk they make me happy (unless they're mean)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Yikes lol well I have several death fics so those? lol

The Highwayman

Skype Calls 

If You Loved Me, Why'd You Leave Me?

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Happiest oof...hmm Soul Meets Body  where Bucky and Steve get reunited after Bucky gets trapped in the soul stone and they retire? Or the gallavich one where Ian wakes up and Mickey never got arrested (post s5) and they're good.

I have a lot more but those are usually just fluff oneshots not a whole story

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I think I've only technically done one. It was where Mickey gets attacked by a Djinn and basically ends up seeing the mickey version of what Dean saw in the Supernatural episode "What is and What Should Never Be". If I recall Sam and Dean saved him.

oh and the She's the Man Fic I don't remember if it had characters from the movie or not though lmaoo but maybe. I'll have to reread

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Oh yes. Usually they didn't like where I went with it. (even though i'd make it obvious). Accuse me of not knowing the characters. And that one person that got mad me and @bellafarella made lip too "likeable" ?? weirdos. Always had issues with the shameless fandom with giving nasty comments tbh.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not anymore tbh. I like putting them in turmoil instead.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Actually I think so?? Or they tried it. Def had someone write a fic about my fic which was interesting.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

OH yes! A lot of gallavich ones

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! So far just the Shameless/She’s the man crossover fic with @bellafarella

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Stevebucky </3

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

All the one in my head but especially 1960's stevebucky, musician stevebucky, and deathfic but plot twist not a death fic stevebucky but like I said they're in my head and have been for yearss

15. What are your writing strengths?

angst lol I used to be really good at description but my brain has rotted through the years lmaoo

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Grammar. Commas confuse me and dont get me started on ;. Passive voice or active voice (apparently) , repeating words too often. I need to get good at description again and better word choice.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It depends. As long as it's in character and the correct way for it to be typed. Otherwise I'd put "says in ___ " or what not

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Shameless US or a long time ago when I started a fic for Crisis Core but i never got far at all

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Currently none. Ask me a month ago I would've said Tarlos

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm too lazy to look through my Ian/Mickey ones but i had a lot of faves there.

My Lakehouse Stevebucky fic is my favorite as of late Distant Lover, One Day I'll Hold You Like the Sun Holds the Moon 

Tagging: idk who to tag in these anymore lol so anyone that wants to do it :D

[galpalpetraral]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

(tagged by @darlingpoppet)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 17 currently, but I'm a serial deleter and I always wanna keep it under 20. would be like. 69 by now otherwise

2. What is your AO3 word count? 217,645...and see above LOL I shudder to imagine what it would be if I wasn't always deleting

3. What fandoms do you write for? mostly cql and asoiaf in recent years. tho I also have a zelda wip I've been kicking around for a while...we'll see if that ever amounts to anything :') and I'll still keep a few snk fics up, being mighty fond of those days

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? tuck the darkness in (wx shrinking haunted house fic), sunday night lights (eruri football au), friendly fields (wx ghost baby fic), fourth one will prob be deleted soon so it doesn't count lol, and where they grow (madam lan lives au).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yep every time! at most it'll take me a month to respond but I never let it go beyond that. even the negative ones (I'm a Pro-Crit Fanfic Guy sorry)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the ending to our shadow over the sea (rhaenicent fic) has garnered many delightful threats upon my person and I cherish them all. that and two slow dancers (eruri vampire au): FIGHT!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of my other fics tbqh ugh :( maybe set me as a seal (eruri reincarnation au) just bc happy endings for the ruris are rare wah...

8. Do you get hate on fics? idk if I would call it hate, but criticism yes! most common word I hear along that line is "boring" which is definitely understandable lol, there are times when I reread my own works and find them too generic/not rly offering anything new, in which case I take that forward with me into new works to try to enrich them. although I guess if by "hate" you mean like, troll type hate on pairings & things, then yeah who doesn't LOL

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yep, and more so in recent years! and it's the kind of smut that's way too sappy no matter the situation no matter the tone UGH :(

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? snk/asoiaf crossover for my yumihisu rights...idk if it counts as a crossover since it's just snk characters in the asoiaf world, but I did go Very heavy on the asoiaf lore lol whoops

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yeah lol multiple but I kinda forgot until this was asked, can't bring myself to care unfortch, peace be with you

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes!! southern cross translated into chinese by gloria_77, set me as a seal translated into chinese by applethief326, and sunday night lights translated into russian by ackermantihora! and I know there's still several translations of deleted fics out there heh. I so appreciate the hard work of you amazing translators!!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? not since I was a kid doing it for giggles with friends, but definitely a lot of fun :)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? eruri literally life-changing, so. and korrasami

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? oh man there was this one hannibal wip I had back in the day that like, the themes and imagery and stuff would've been so legit but I needed someone smarter than me to write it :( it was about will & hannibal taking sanctuary in that one silician cathedral while besieged by police. kinda weaving back and forth between past and present, contemplating God and gods and stuff. someone write this please. also there's this one cql post-canon fic but it's all about accepting death and the curse of immortality and stuff and it's kind of a bummer to write LOL maybe will keep chipping away at it one day

16. What are your writing strengths? seems like I'm good at getting across my goal themes & purposes - ppl seem to pick up what I'm putting down often and it makes me happy! because I do tend to err on the side of vagueness & trusting the audience, and it's nice when it's rewarded :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? like mentioned before, my fics have been called boring & I think that has a lot to do with some generic imagery/syntax I've relied on - definitely something I've tried to improve on but it's a work in progress! like I've sometimes sacrificed diction for story flow ya know, it doesn't work on shrewder readers and I def respect that & want to do better

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? if you know what you're doing, cool! but I've come across too many instances in fics where the author demonstrated a lack of basic understanding of the language & not only does it throw you out but it feels disrespectful - I know ppl get all "it's just fanfic I'm not being paid!!1!!!!11" but if you're going to work within a culture that's not your own, research. not exactly sure if that's what the question is asking LOL but that's been my experience both as a reader and a writer

19. First fandom you wrote for? legend of zelda!! I wrote a billion words of ocarina of time pre-canon fic about the three goddesses at age 10 on a beat-up floppy disc. those were the days man

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? man something happened with southern cross that I've never been able to truly replicate...looking back there's a few too many extra words, few too many instances of passive voice, but for the most part I'm just like damn dude...what was she cooking

if you're a writer and you haven't been tagged yet I tag YOU!!!

[willowedwisteria]

♪Information Counter♪

Knowledge is key. If you want information, this is the place to start.

Greetings. Come over for a cup of tea, or is it that perhaps you prefer coffee? If you don't know who am I, just call me Wisteria or Willow, you'll learn with time.

Alright. No matter if you are a mutual of mine, someone new or old, please read through the rules and regulations that I have in place. I don't hope or want anything bad to happen.

My beloved and dearests anons and mutuals <3/Masterlist

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If I ever call you "Darling", "Dear", "Sweetie", "Sweetheart" or any of the sort, it is strictly platonic.

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Reread your request. I can forgive some spelling mistakes because I'm sure I've made them in the past, but please ensure that you can understand what you're requesting. Giving examples is a good way to start.

If you vent in my inbox, I will personally message if you ask me that request as a non-anon in case you reveal a bit too much for your own comfort. Otherwise, I will reply to it publicly.

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[yellowloid]

1, 9, 12 for the fic ask :)

1. What's the fic youre most proud of?

i'm really proud of Terra Incognita, but right now i'd say i'm most proud of All's Well That Ends Well. so many things happened during these last few months while i was working on it so i became a bit emotionally attached to it + it's a big accomplishment for me because it's the longest fic i've written in a very long time (if not THE longest i've ever written in the ten years i've been writing fics) so i'm like WOAH. also i just really love the plot, and i had so much fun daydreaming about it and actually writing it! i kind of fell in love with it 👉👈

9. What's your writing process like?

it starts with me imagining weirdly specific scenes (especially dialogue) and i usually try to jot these ideas down in a notebook as soon as possible because i know i'll forget them if i don't; then i have to actually come up with everything else that will lead to the very specific moment i imagined, so i either try to rack my brain (which most of the time doesn't work) or i'll sit and just try to write what comes to my mind and go with the flow. there's always time to go back to a first draft, and if i really can't think of anything at that moment i'll just mark it for later and come back to it after i'm finished with the rest of the story. after i'm actually finished with the first draft i start editing (which consists of me rereading the story a million times, deleting and adding things, and especially trying to avoid too many repetitions). sometimes from a structural pov the final thing will end up being completely different from the first draft, but i love seeing how editing actually brings the whole thing together and gives it its final form, it's just so satisfying

12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

my bedroom, sitting at my desk in complete silence - the silence being the most crucial part because otherwise i'm literally unable to focus and i can't put together a single sentence lmao

thank you so much for your questions! 🥰