#i'm white btw different ethnicity but when i say women of color i am NOT talking about myself lol

[sunspira]

this is really really good i've been trying to find words for it. it also leads into my feeling that a lot of white girls in general especially lily white american skinny white girls from evangelical christian south find words like beast disgusting slug gremlin as freeing and affirming and a departure from the restrictive dainty little box they were pushed into. but simultaneously a lot of girls who are not white find those terms degrading and insulting and misogynistic and not feeling to reclaim at all and are like "don't call me that 😑" because they have been boxed into a very dehumanizing and animalistic and dirty image pushed on them under racism and misogynior and have had the humanity to be seen as remotely delicate or innocent stolen from them for as long as they can remember as little girls. i think some anger towards her post coming from chicks who are not terfs is rooted in this disconnect.

i think miss cain is similar to a lot of white girls where she is completely unaware of how her white privilege impacts her self image and can make her oblivious to what words are inadvertently and inappropriately cruel and cut deep for women of color who love trans women but do not want to have their vagine called disgusting and beastly with thick coarse dark manly hair thrown back in their face by a white girl in an attempt to be affirming and feminist. by a white southern daughter of all things, which isn't exactly enormously privileged over me but comes from a world that is so , so different to me and a womanhood so linked to old americana and emblematic throughout media and is more mainstream. idk maybe if it was a black southern trans woman posting this it would feel more earned and have that affirming and box escaping impact for women of color. while coming from white queer people can be so sour tasting. now let's be really clear all that was NOT the intent and she was clearly saying all that directed at other white girls in her music scene who are very transphobic. I say this more the sense of us understanding why some trans women or trans positive onlookers from outside her very skinny white alt girl rebel scene found all that kind of obnoxious. i am always interested in how gender role defiance affirmation can be so different depending on if society has infantilized you or animalized you as a woman.

the post in question

i can definitely look at this girl and her blog and be like ok you're achieving fragile and delicate tomboy rebellious femininity better than me please don't tell me how gross dirty oily and beastly 'our' slug body is. like you're completely right ideologically and you and i should not feel ashamed of our bodies and being trans is a huge factor in this that i think gives her a lot more credence to reclaim masculinized insults. but every time girls like this do it there's some bitter taste in the mouth for sure and i think she passes so well as a cis girl who is also otherwise all those traditionally feminine things under white supremacy i struggle to see her trans marginalization over her other glaring privileges and perhaps that's why i and others felt annoyed with her too. which is why i needed to unpack for a while, both on my shortcomings and hers. not because she is in the wrong nor deserved hate but because women across backgrounds body types sexualities ethnicities races cultures nationalities have so many different forms of misogyny pushed on us. until what can feel revolutionary freeing and affirming for one girl can instead almost mimic the restrictive status quo beating us into a forcibly masculinized self image once again. this can be addressed collaboratively and in good faith though like by no means am i saying one girls masc presentation is oppressing or hurting me. only that some self expressions by women will feel a bit mid for other chicks and it helps and brings a sense of peace and unity to think on various greater reasons why and still love and accept gross gremlin feminism for what it is and the good it's doing