#i'm........leaving myself an opening to be dumb and write a xicheng continuation

[sarah-yyy]

bodyguard au prompt #4 and/or #20, wangxian please!

#20 - “please don’t pretend to care more than you actually do”

Wei Wuxian is unhappy, this much Lan Wangji can tell. 

It shouldn’t have been so. Lan Wangji has crossed a desert to save Wei Wuxian, brought him into the palace, and reunited Wei Wuxian with… With the one he loves. 

Lan Wangji has done so at great cost to himself, thinking that he had done the right thing, and yet. 

Wei Wuxian is unhappy.

“Tell me how to fix it,” he says quietly to Wei Wuxian. “You are unhappy. I can fix it. Tell me how.”

Wei Wuxian flashes a smile that isn’t really a smile at him. “Please don’t pretend to care more than you actually do, er-dianxia,” he tells Lan Wangji, and turns back to staring out the window. He does that often, these days, as if wishing he could leave the palace walls. “It hurts more when you do that.”

His words are too cryptic; Lan Wangji doesn’t understand. “Wei Ying?” 

“You serve your emperor well,” Wei Wuxian murmurs. “Lan Xichen is rightfully proud of you.”

Even Lan Wangji would not use His Majesty’s given name, but it seems unimportant to point that out to Wei Wuxian. If it would make Wei Wuxian happy, Wei Wuxian should be able to call the emperor anything he wants. 

Besides, they are to be married soon. Who is to say that the emperor has not granted him leave to do so?

“You are unhappy,” Lan Wangji says again. “You weren’t like this, before.”

He means of the journey back to the imperial city, back when Wei Wuxian thought that Lan Wangji was just a random soldier, a hired bodyguard, sent by the Jiang family to escort him back, back before Wei Wuxian learnt of the alliance, back before Wei Wuxian realised that the reason why it was so important that he be taken to the palace was to serve as consort to the emperor. 

Wei Wuxian had been happy, then.

Lan Wangji had been happy, then.

Wei Wuxian doesn’t speak. 

Lan Wangji advances towards him. 

“That’s close enough, er-dianxia,” Wei Wuxian says lightly, when Lan Wangji is about three paces away. “We should keep our distance. After all, I am to marry your brother.”

Lan Wangji’s heart clenches at the thought, and he hurts, he hurts the same way he had when the imperial edict announcing the upcoming union of his imperial brother and Wei Wuxian was read out. 

“But you are unhappy,” he says again, for the third time, soft but fierce. 

It’s important to him that Wei Wuxian is miserable. He needs to know how to make it better.

“How could I not be?” Wei Wuxian snaps, turning to face Lan Wangji properly. “How could I not be unhappy, when this is happening to me?” 

Lan Wangji can feel his own heart shatter at the admission. Wei Wuxian is unhappy, and Lan Wangji would rather die than to let him keep being unhappy.

“How could I not be unhappy, when I have spent two months on the road, slowly falling in love with a man I thought was my soulmate, only to find that I have been brought back to marry his brother?” Wei Wuxian closes the distance between them, fists his hands in Lan Wangji’s robes. His eyes shine with tears. “How am I supposed to be happy, er-dianxia, when you’re the man I love, but not the man I’m meant to marry?” 

Lan Wangji’s lips part in surprise. 

Wei Wuxian loves him. 

Wei Wuxian loves him. 

Lan Wangji lets out a ragged breath. “You love me,” he whispers. “You love me.” 

“Of course I love you, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says, crying. He pitches forward, wraps his arms around Lan Wangji’s waist, and presses his face to the crook of Lan Wangji’s neck. “I love you, and it’s killing me that everyone wants me to marry Lan Xichen. That you want me to marry Lan Xichen. I can’t, Lan Zhan. I only love you.”

Lan Wangji closes his arms around Wei Wuxian’s back, holds him close tightly. “Wei Ying,” he breathes out. It’s all he can manage, he’s so overwhelmed. Wei Wuxian loves him. “Wei Ying.” 

“Can you fix this, er-gege?” Wei Wuxian whispers. 

Er-gege - it’s the most wonderful words to hear out of Wei Wuxian’s mouth, after enduring weeks of his overly polite er-dianxia. Lan Wangji finds himself smiling, and then unable to stop. 

“I thought you would want to,” he says. “Everyone wants to marry the emperor. To be consort. You joked about it often, on our journey back. You said one glimpse of the emperor was all it took for him to steal your heart. I thought you loved him. I thought marrying him might make you happy.” He takes a deep breath. “His Majesty does not want to marry you.”

Wei Wuxian pulls away. “What?”

“You’re not the Jiang he wishes to marry,” Lan Wangji confesses. “But I thought it might please you, and I spoke to His Majesty about it. I thought… I thought that was what you wanted.”

Wei Wuxian blinks, slowly. “You…asked Lan Xichen to marry me, because you thought I wanted to marry him.”

Lan Wangji nods. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I misjudged, and made you unhappy. I will speak to His Majesty. I will fix it, I promise, Wei Ying.”

“I won’t have to marry him? You promise, er-gege?” Wei Wuxian asks, hope shining brightly in his eyes. 

Lan Wangji nods. He will make sure of it, no matter what he has to do. He doesn’t expect that it will be a hardship, convincing his brother to recall the edict. 

“And us?” Wei Wuxian asks. “What of us?” 

“If Wei Ying loves me,” Lan Wangji says, heart rabbiting in his chest, “if Wei Ying would be happy with me, then will Wei Ying agree to marry me?” 

Wei Wuxian reaches a hand up, cups Lan Wangji’s face gently. “Will that make you happy too, er-gege?” 

“More than anything else,” Lan Wangji tells him hoarsely, honest. 

“Then yes,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, and presses his lips to Lan Wangji’s. “Oh, yes, Lan Zhan, let’s get married.” 

(buy me a kofi!)