#i've decide i'm someone who likes movies and making my bed every morning and journaling or reading over breakfast and those things will be

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Investigations (Part 3): Ran Haitani x Fem!Reader

synopsis: when things are uncovered, can you handle the truth? Or are you doomed to make a mistake you can't rectify?

wc: 2.1k

tw: violence

masterlist

song recommendation:

Ran's past was a lie.

When you met him at the country club five years ago, your pasts had been explained in hushed tones and excited flurries of memories; sharing photos of the time before he was an executive of the communications company he worked in and the time before you were a journalist.

Ran said he had gone to jail twice, both for crimes he had been an accessory to as a delinquent kid, but that he'd cleaned up his act after and made his way up the corporate ladder. Nothing about gangs or being a Heavenly King in Tenjiku made it past his lips.

You had been honest, too. Your tales included the time you'd accidentally happened upon a massive gang fight, and that's how your investigative journalism skills began to bloom.

Who was fighting?

What were they going to do after?

Where did these gangs come from?

When did this argument start?

Why were they fighting?

How did gangs form in the first place?

Those were all the questions you sought out answers for that night and the next five years after, devoting your time and effort to finding the truth about everything.

"Babe?" You freeze, hands hovering over the keys at the sound of Ran's voice. You don't turn around - you can't even look at him the same these days - but he fixes that by walking over to you and turning you around in your chair. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Just doing some writing." His violet eyes search yours for the truth, but you know he won't be able to find it. Not while you're still trying to unravel his past. Ran kisses your eyelids sweetly, cupping your face in his large palms and littering his love across your face as you try your best to remain still and not confess about your research.

"Come to bed. It's late."

"I've got a few more paragraphs," you explain, motioning to the small print on your screen. "I'll be in bed soon."

But your lie is discovered shortly thereafter. It's five a.m. when Ran returns, seeing you slumped against your desk, arms cushioning your head, laptop screen blank. Instinctively, Ran pulls you out of your seat - making your notebook fall to the ground - grunting softly as he scoops you up into his arms and cradles you against his chest.

You willingly allow your husband to carry you to bed, where your two-year-old is also nestled among the sheets and pillows, thumb tucked into his mouth. And for a moment, Ran appreciates the view, seeing the two people he loved the most - besides his younger brother - laying in the bed he paid for, in the house he built, in the city he owns.

But then he remembers the slight disarray you left your things in at the desk and returns, picking up your pencil and notebook before laying them beside the laptop. Then his eyes catch "Ran's past?" written in bold, red letters, along with the words: "Tenjiku" and "Tandai" also written in the web of other words surrounding his name. "South Terano" is also on that web.

He'd have to take care of that in the morning.

And for the first time in a long time, worry bubbles to the surface of his mind, and Ran rips the sheet of paper from your notebook, tossing it into the kitchen trashcan and considering his deed done. He concealed his past to protect his family. And he's concealing the present to achieve the same goal; all for the future to be revealed later. That's how everything should be.

Right? _____________________________________________________________

"Ran," you whisper, lips running across his knuckles. His fingers cup your jaw, and his own lips press against your forehead, violet eyes darkening slightly. "It's six am. Where are you going this early?"

"I have to go into the office for a little while," he murmurs, kissing your forehead again. "I'll be back around lunchtime." Thoughts of Tandai and Tenjiku flash into your mind for a moment, but you smile at him sleepily anyway, absolutely sure these things are part of his past and not in the present.

"We'll be waiting for you, my love."

Despite all of your best intentions, though, you can't help but be consumed by the idea of Ran out, fighting, stealing, maiming... You consider asking him about these things, these concerns, but you decide against it as you're helping Kai with his lunch. If he wanted to leave it in the past, there's a good reason for it. He would have told you if it would be a problem later. Right?

Ran wouldn't jeopardize your family, your home, your life for something so... juvenile.

Right?

The clatter of keys on the counter in the living room brings you back to the present, and you perk up, your two-year-old mimicking your expression.

"Daddy!" Kai slides down from his seat and runs to greet Ran, clutching his father's legs with all his little might.

"Hey, buddy," Ran laughs, stooping to pick up his son with excitement. "How are you doing?" As son and father have a very stimulating conversation about playtime, you watch them in wonder, observing the way Ran makes his child a priority, just like he makes you a priority. But your countenance falls as soon as you see the blood spot on the bottom of Ran's lavender suit jacket. You know its blood because of the way it dried - that's no ketchup stain.

You fake a smile anyway, giving Ran a kiss on the cheek and tugging his jacket off after he sits Kai back on the tile floor.

"Hard day?"

"Kind of," Ran mumbles, and you catch the sight of a long scratch down the side of his neck. "But I made it through." You hum, taking the pin-striped jacket to the laundry room and slinging it over the side of the washer. You'd need that later.

"Need to relax?" you wonder, and Ran grins at you mischievously.

"Maybe later, after bedtime?"

_____________________________________________________________

But "later" never came.

Instead, Ran and Kai fell asleep on the sofa, watching a kid's movie, and you retreated to the office, powering up your laptop and pulling your notebook closer.

You immediately notice something's wrong, as the notes you had before were missing. Everything is gone. Not even a word of all the research you had done was there. Hadn't you written meticulous notes and names and things about Ran's past that could be interconnected? You break out in a sweat and search in every drawer of the desk, every place it could possibly be. You come up with nothing, and let out a frustrated sigh before slumping down in your seat and pulling up the computer history from yesterday. If you had to rewrite every single thing, that's fine. You'd just need more time to gather your evidence for the meeting on Saturday.

You're knee-deep in articles and police reports when you stumble across a more recent - actually as recent as this morning - article titled: "Ex-gangster found dead in meat factory". The picture of South Terano startles you, and you click on it, feeling a sense of dread as the article details how he was found hanging upside-down in the warehouse with a bullet hole in his head. And just like that, your newest lead has fizzled out. You groan, writing down "South Terano, deceased" on your notepad, then exiting the tab.

There had to be someone else you could ask. Shuji Hanma only provided you with Ran and Rindou's names, no one else.

"What's this?"

The door to the office shuts softly, and you look over your shoulder at Ran, who is walking toward you with measured steps, his eyes taking in your exhausted expression and the way you're hunched over that notepad. Again.

"What are you doing? You look tired, babe. Let's go to bed, yeah?"

Suddenly, pieces begin to click as Ran leans his hip against the desk, staring down at you in the chair with squinted violet eyes. "You threw away my notes... Didn't you?"

"What are you doing in my business, y/n?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you were in two gangs?" you counter, fingers shaking slightly. "Ran, this is something I needed to know before--"

"You wouldn't have married me if I told you." Ran's tone is cold, almost as if he's turned into the past version of himself without batting an eye.

"You don't know that." Ran leans forward, coming to eye level with you a smirking.

"I know you. And that's all I need." Ran reaches out a hand to close the laptop, still smiling and maintaining eye contact. "Now here's what you're going to do. First, you're going to stop digging into my past. There's nothing there that you need to find. Second, you're going to come to bed. It's late, you're tired. Finally," Ran cups your chin like he did this morning, except his fingers aren't so tender this time. "You're going to cut off contact with both Shuji Hanma and Taiju Shiba. I'm not really fond of either of them, and I'm not a fan of having them tell my business to my wife."

"They were only doing it because I asked."

"Taiju, maybe. Shuji isn't so eager to fuck you. I doubt he did it out of the kindness of his heart." You can't say anything to refute his claims. Ran is probably right. But you can't get one question out of your mind.

"Why are you trying to hide your past? What's there that I won't like?"

"What isn't there is the real question."

"What can you tell me about the gang that's just surfaced in Tokyo?" Ran's face slackens, transforming into a half-surprised, half-blank look that you realize is one that means he's been caught. "Oh, my fucking god," you breathe, tears stinging your eyes. "South, the fish, the murders, the crime... It's you. It's been you this whole time. I've been chasing my own husband down." Panic begins to set in, and your mind whirls around as you shake in your seat, bringing your hands up to your head. "Just tell me Rindou isn't in this," you breathe, but Ran doesn't answer you, still wearing that dumb look on his face. You let out a cry of shock, covering your mouth and trying to back away from Ran as much as you can.

The source is a lot closer than you think.

You slide down the wall, shocked into stillness as your sobs quiet, and Ran straightens up, placing his hands in his sweatpant pockets. The long nights, the early mornings, the bloodstains, the damn suits... It all led to this. Ran had never really left his old lifestyle behind. He'd gotten caught up in it, and brought you and Kai into it unknowingly.

"I never meant for it to get this... unhinged." You can't reply, tucking your knees into your chest as you stare past Ran and at the opposite wall, wondering how you'd missed the signs, the obvious signs that Ran was up to no good. "I know this is a lot to take in, but we can--"

"I can't stay here."

The words fall from your mouth and Ran flinches, shaking his head.

"No. You can't leave."

"Yes, I can," you mumble, standing and wiping your tears. "I can do whatever I need to do to keep Kai safe, and--"

"Kai is safer here than out there," Ran snaps, pointing at the window. "I'm not letting my son out of my sight. Your snooping has caused enough trouble as it is; I wouldn't have had to go and clean up this morning if you hadn't--"

"Don't blame this on me," you retort, pointing at Ran accusatorially. "You're the one who joined a gang and is still in one! What kind of role model are you for our son now?"

"I provide the best way I can," Ran grits out, clenching his fists. "You've never gone hungry, cold, or ill-clothed a day in your life while you were with me."

"I would rather die than enjoy a life paid for with blood money."

"Blood money? You really think--" You try to push past Ran, but he grabs your shoulders, yanking you back in front of him. "You're not going anywhere except to our bed."

"Let me go, Ran Haitani," you mutter, hands balling up into little fists. "Or I'll scream."

"Who will hear you? Kai?"

How had you been so foolish? Ran's lips press together momentarily as his violet eyes run over your figure, taking stock of all your five-foot-six stature. You're no match for Ran. Not mentally, and certainly not physically. Ran notices your defeat and his hands slide down to your wrists, tugging your delicate hands up to his chest.

"Everything will be fine," he whispers, drawing you close. "I'm taking care of us. Just trust me."

Just trust me.

[grace-is-forever]

Sleepless nights part 2

Who knew that after a few months of Jeremy staying at my house I'd start develope feeling for him. Sure, he'd be really flirtatious but thats just Jeremy.

"You know he likes you right?" Michael whispered beside me. School had just recently started back up due to the weather. So much snow! "No he doesn't. Thats just his personality." I scoffed at him. I really wish he did though.

I turned and exited the conversation slowly when i tripped and fell. "OWW!" I yelled. I landed on my knee. It didnt help that my right knee was already messed up. Now I'll be back in the stupid brace for weeks.

Time passes and its time for theater. Weird, Jeremy wasnt there. Oh well.

"Art thou gone so? love, lord, ay, husband, friend!

I must hear from thee every day in the hour,

For in a minute there are many days:

O, by this count I shall be much in years

Ere I again behold my Romeo!"

I read aloud. I know Romeo and Juliet. Typical high school play. I was cast as the role of juliet and to no surprise Jeremy was Romeo. It felt almost unnerving to be his love Interest. I went home an hour later, after staying to practice. When i got home i confonted Jeremy. "Hey, why werent you at school?" I asked. School is always boring without him. "I just needed to think, but the real question i have is why are you limping?" Confuson plastered on his face. Being completely honest i forgot about my knee sure it hurts but i didnt realize i had a limp. "i fell before history." The worst class so my pain didnt make it any better. "Youve always been extremely clumsy." He stated as got up to grab my brace off my dresser. "And to honest." He paused. "Its kinda cute. A blush apparent on his face and probably mine to. "I wish i wasnt. It'd be nice to go out without some kind of injury." He helped me put on my brace and helped me up. The familiar feeling coming back to me. We stayed at home rehearsing our lines for the rest of the day. The next day at school Jeremy stayed really close to me to watch over my knee. As the classes passed theater came and today was the iconic balcony kiss. I really wish i wasn't so nervous about it. "Dont worry Y/N, its just a kiss." I thought to myself. "With someone you really like, maybe even love." My hands started shaking and breathing became difficult. My vision stared to fade and i ran out of the room before blacking out completely. Y/N? Are you okay? I heard someone ask. Slowly everything came back into my vision. "What happened?" I asked slowly. Jeremy was infront of me and began explaing that I blacked out. I started crying after that. "Im an idiot." i said between sobs. Letting myself freak out about something that will never happen. "I'm sorry, tell everyone I'm not feeling good and that I'm going home. I gave him a goodbye hug and ran out of the building. I ran faster than i ever have. I unlocked my door and threw myself on the bed and sobbed until nightfall. Jeremy woke me up thr next morning early. "Lets get some coffee before school." I agreed to it. Got dressed, brushed my teeth, and said put on my knee brace. We got to the school and i brought jeremy to the theater so we could practice since we both got a free period.

"Romeo, Romeo, where fort art thou Romeo?

I questioned and we continued practice the kiss was about to happen and i got my self mentally prepared.

We leaned in and our lips met. It felt as electricity was flowing through us. We pulled apart and he forgot his lines after that.

"Im sorry, but I've wanted to do that ever since i met you in the park a few months ago and you let me stay with you."

I kissed him again. This one was more drawn out and more passionate. "Jeremy i've had the biggest crush on you since 7th grade. I love everything about you. One more kiss was shared then we parted was to go to class. I couldnt really focus all i could do was think of was the kiss. Yhe class passes and its time for the one of the last practices before our performance. Onve again the kiss happened and in the background i could hear Mr. Reyes awwing. "That was really good you guys. I could feel the emotions you showed. Really impressive! We thanked him and began walking home considering drama was our last class. We walked through the park that we officially met at. We sat at the swings talking. A few hours passed and it was soon getting dark. I looked down at my phone, 10:17. "I think we should head back to the house its getting late. He nodded and we began to walk back. We decided to stay up watching movies on the couch. 3 movies passed and i looked over and jeremy was asleep. So peaceful and fragile. I kissed him on the cheek before heading off to bed. As an hour past i found myself restless. Sleep was something that wasn't in my vocabulary. I got up and headed out for my normal spot. The park. Since no one was out i took is an opertunity to let some emotions out the only way i knew how to. Drawing. I grabbed my sketchbook and began drawing the surrounding areas along with a little personal touch. Two people sharing a kiss by the tree. "I knew I'd find you out here." I jumped out of my thoughts and quickly closed my book. "Oh hey Jer." I said. "You should be asleep, go back inside." I told him. "So should you." He replied back. He held out his hand which i accepted. He led me back to the house and i got in bed putting sketchbook on the dresser next to the bed, and fell asleep. Jeremy was still getting ready for bed and took a look through my journal and saw the sketch i did earlier. He was in awe of the drawing. He couldnt take it anymore. He woke me up and before i could question his lips were on mine. He kissed me with as much passion he could muster up. We pulled apart and finally spoke. "I saw the drawing. I looked, i shouldn't have but i did." I shot up immediately after. I grabbed my skethchbook and held it tight. "Not cool Jer!" I whined. "Is that the only thing you saw?" I asked giving up any secrets i had. "Yeah thats all i saw. Is there more?" He asked. I nodded and found a page at the back of the book and read it to him.

"As life progresses, I'm bound to make mistakes, to see hard times. Every low comes with a high. Somewhere in the future i'll see what I can truly be. I may be scared and a little doubtful, but in the long run I know I'll be ok.

I knew that when i met you i knew who i was. Everything was clear. I wasnt scared of anything else but losing you. I see nothing but hope now that i have you. I love you more than anything."

He hugged me right after listening to that. "Do you really feel that way." I nodded and grabbed his hands. "I always have." I leaned over and kissed him again. "Promise me you won't look through my stuff anymore?" I asked him. "I promise but you should teach me how to draw cause youre incredibly talented." I smiled at him and layed back down. "Good night Jeremy. I love you." I told him before falling asleep. "Good night Y/N, i love you too. He replied pulling me against him. He pressed one last kiss to my forehead before he fell asleep.

After a day full of confessions and love. It was anything but a sleepless night.

This is the brace I had. I don't know where I put it. Every other brace I have is horrible compared to this one.

@broke-ass-potterhead I hope you enjoy! 💙

[rebelcaptainiscute]

Fighting For Love chapter two: Whispers of hope

The next morning I did what I usually do go to the mountain. Normally when I leave the mountain I feel relaxed but not this time. My mind hasn't stopped racing since last night I'm not sure why a guy helped me up so what? Why is it driving me so crazy? Why do I always talk to myself?

As I walk home I continue to think then have a probably very stupid idea. I am going to go back to the place where I saw the man just to see if he's still there you know even though its been hours like I said it's probably a stupid idea.

I try to recall where exactly I saw him it was somewhere between the building the party was at and the diner but that's all I really remember.

After awhile of walking I finally start to recognize the area from last night. I start looking around for the man I saw last night and see nobody. He might not be here right now maybe he was just visiting someone.

I look for about five minutes then decided to give up. I turn my back to leave then hear shouting when I turn around I see the man.

"you're back."he says

"Yeah I...I just realized I never got to thank you for helping me last night."

"Oh don't worry about it. You seemed stressed."

I nod. "So do you live in one of these buildings?"

"Yeah that one." He says pointing across the street.

"You know I've never been on this side of town."

"Really? This is where everything is like the stores and stuff."

"Well to be honest I don't get out much. And when I do I go to a mountain a couple miles out of town."

"Oh I love that place!" He says.

"Really?!"

"Yeah I go there all the time!"

"Wow I'm shocked we've never crossed paths."

"That's so weird."

"I'm Jyn by the way."

"Cassian."

"Well it was nice talking to you I better be going."

"Okay are you coming back anytime soon?"

"I don't know but if you never want to meet up sometime I go to the mountain every morning at seven." I say.

"Well I'm kinda busy in the morning hours but I'm free at evenings."

"Okay we'll get together some evening."

"Are you free this evening?"

"Yeah...I am."

"So I'll meet you at the mountain around four."

"Sounds good I'll see you then." I say then begin to take small steps.

"Okay bye." He says

I smile and wave then walk away.

Once I get home I immediately start to write about it in my journal. I seriously don't know what happened I went to thank him and the next thing I know I have plans for later. For all I know he could be a killer I have to give him a chance I should probably quit living in fear of everyone.

When the time comes for me to start getting ready I decide not to change the outfit I have on now is alright it's a grey top with some black jeans and a blue jean jacket all I do is take my hair out of the ponytail it was tied up in. I go downstairs so I can leave but get stopped by my mother.

"Jyn where are you going?"

"Umm I'm going out with... a friend."

"Really? Which one?"

"Mara...Mara Jade you know her right?"

"Yes of course!"

"Okay so we are going to hang out...just don't call her or anything because...her phone is broken."

"Oh okay I won't."

"Okay good...I'm going to go now bye mother."

"Bye Jyn have fun!"

When I get outside I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding. I don't understand why my parents treat me like I'm a child I didn't want to tell them I was meeting with a guy because they would immediately assume we are dating then they would want to meet him then they'd find a problem with him. I know I sound like a teenage right now... I just need my own place but first I need to find a roommate they want it to be Krennic's daughter Millie she about my age but she acts like a three year old that gets whatever she wants I really don't want to be around someone like that twenty-four seven.

When I arrive at the mountain and realize Cassian isn't here he does live farther away then I do. After about ten minutes of waiting I start to get a little worried. He's probably on his way I tell myself but while I'm telling myself that I see him walking up the mountain.

"Hey sorry I'm late I got tied up in class"

"Oh don't worry about it. So you go to school?"

"Yeah I'm learning how to become a lawyer."

"Oh that's nice I say as I start to walk up the mountain.

"Do you go to school." He says then follows me.

"I take classes online to become a teacher. But that's really just for my backup plan."

"Backup plan?" He asks.

"Yeah my plan at the moment is to become a writer."

"A writer? That sounds cool. Have you published anything yet?"

"No not yet...but someday hopefully."

As we walk up the mountain we talk about things we like books, movies and shows mostly.

"Okay what's the saddest movie you've ever seen?" Cassian asks.

"Umm Titanic."

"Titanic?"

"Yeah have you ever seen it?"

"Yes of course."

"I know a girl who had never seen it so I showed it to her and when it was over she looked over to me and said quote Oh my gosh what a shocking ending!"

"Are you kidding?" He laughs.

"Nope. So what's the saddest movie you've seen?"

"Hachi." I ask.

"Hachi? I've never heard of it what's it about?"

"A dog."

"Oh no I hate puppy movies. They are so depressing."

"I know right! Anytime there is a movie with a dog it's sad never fails."

"Yeah I'm the kind of person that wants everything it end happy even horror movies."

"Me too." He smiles.

We stay on the mountain for about three hours then decide to walk back down.

"Well it's been nice but I better get going I have studying to do." He says.

"Okay I have to get home too. But maybe we could meet up again."

"Yeah that would be great! Do you want my number?"

"Sure." I say.

We exchange numbers then leave. I feel relaxed again for some reason I feel fine better then fun I finally found someone I could talk to and relate with.

When I get home I'm greeted by my father standing in the living room. Here we go I think.

"Hello Jyn." He says.

"Hi father."

"Your mother told me that you went to hang out with Mara."

"Yeah that's where I've been for the past three hours." I say in a almost crazy voice.

"What did you do?"

"We...went to see a movie."

"Oh that sounds fun. Which movie?"

"It was a... cartoon about... ducks." I lie.

"Ducks?" He asks

"Yeah I know it's kinda weird but Mare secretly loves cartoons and ducks so it was perfect."

"That's good."

"But listen don't ask her about it or anything because...she's embarrassed about it."

"Oh okay I would."

"Good. So... I'm going to go upstairs and get ready for bed."

"Okay Jyn."

"Goodnight father." I say while running up the steps.

"Goodnight!" He yells.

That night I slept better then I have in awhile for some reason. It's almost like all of my stress is gone ( or hiding) almost like I don't have a care in the world. Cassian seems like a good man and I think we'll make good friends I just have to keep him a secret so nobody will ruin it and get us in trouble.