#i've done a bunch of recs recently on specific topics

[jlf23tumble]

Ant recs? Read anything good lately? 😊

Hello, and thanks for coming back to specify the pairing! You said you wanted some (1)D, plus any others that I enjoyed, so here's what I've read and liked in May (so far, dot dot dot)--it's a REALLY mixed bag, so I hope you like 'em, too!

Getting Broody, anonymous, 1.3k. So rarely do you see the "dead dove: do not eat" tag in this puritanical fandom, but me, I love a good alien breeding story!

cockwarming and chandler bing, anonymous, 1.6k. Wouldn't it be wilde if the same person wrote both of these??? Anyway, it is as it says, only chandler bing is on tv, not "there." Part of a recent rec, too!

Those Same Wide Eyes, lookingfortherainbow/ @andtheywerebandmates, 2.8k. I am so in love with this series, the softness jumps out! Trans Louis and genderfluid Harry, god bless.

Want It Tonight, @lovingstheantidote, 3.4k. Wherein Louis lets Harry be "daddy"--and sort of has to teach him how.

This chemistry like candy to me, CuckooTrooke/ @larrydoinglaundry, 7.7k. Always a fan of omega Harry, bonus points for pregnant, lactating omega Harry.

My Sweet Girl, @fournipplesau, 10k. THIS SERIES, god, so good, every installment better than the (already great) last, this one with the hids and the dirty talk, guh!

Losing Focus Every Time We Speak, abaddxns/ @louinlavender, 19k. Boiiiiiii, this fic! Still thinkin' about it, days later, if you read nothing else, etc. etc.

Until That Day, @kingsofeverything, 44k. I don't think I ever saw the insp. movie, but it doesn't matter, I love the way Lauren tells a longer fic! Runaway bride Harry, yeah!

Burnt, objectlesson, 57k. Godddd, the story behind this story, the author's note says it all, but having been there for its birth and initial death because fandom FUCKERY meant it couldn't be an author's first fic or nobody would read what came after? What? The gate, she sure is kept! Anyway, it's a great, PAINFUL story, and I'm so glad it's out there now. I regularly think of all the ones that are NOT out there, and how it's just as well, how blessed I am to have seen 'em, Jesus wept, a fandom of babies. Fuck yeah, I'm still bitter! :)

...rounding out the 1D list, I'd definitely rec anything of loveroflou's ( @loveroflou) every other week or so, a new tender/gender story, the softness! Sweet/bittersweet!

What I've read recently that is NOT of the D is mostly The Untamed, from Liv's wonderful list here. I think I have just four of the longer ones left, the rest of them are AMAZING, can't thank her enough!!

I'm still dipping my toes into Cobra Kai fic (my goal is to finish The Untamed list first), but mannnn, you can't go wrong with Phoenix, so I'd rec two black eyes from loving too hard (any of her CK fic, tbh), oh, and she also wrote this amazing Merlin fic that I had the absolute joy to edit, salt and bruises (that's another fandom where I have one or two to read that were directly rec'd but still need to dig into the other good stuff)

[ripplestitchskein]

Hi sorry to bother you but recently you have mentioned that you are finally happy with your skin after years of problem skin. I was just curious what u did to get results? I've suffered forever and nothing I do and I swear I've tried it all has helped. Did u try something new, change some things any information u feel like passing on would be appreciated. Thanks so much love your blog your so real and refreshing I love that u just do you with pride its inspiring.

First of all, NEVER A BOTHER. I love helping people and discussing skin and hair and makeup. I love it and feel like it is so important to helping people with self esteem and confidence and just feeling okay in their own bodies. It really carries over to all aspects of your life, success at work and school and relationships. Self love is SO important and one of the ways I love myself is taking care of my skin and taking time for makeup and hair I love.

Secondly, before I get to specifics, thank you so so much. I’ve said before that being real on here regardless of consequences or how people see me is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING and it makes my heart melt that someone admires that. Like you seriously could not pay me a greater compliment than that Nonnie dear.

Okay now to the details. This is LONG so buckle up, I’ll get on my computer and add a read more.

I’ve had bad skin since I was like 11 years old. I actually scrubbed my chin so hard one time in frustration I caused a terrible wound that ended up getting infected and required medical intervention. Things were serious.

I tried EVERYTHING. Prescriptions, expensive skin care systems, oil based cleansing methods, home folk remedies that were probably terribly damaging. Everything.

I also pick at my face. I don’t have dermotillomania or anything that severe but any non smooth area gets picked and prodded until it’s just a mess and scabs. Those take forever to clear up and most of my concerns now are hyperpigmentation from old marks. Actually, a lot of “bad skin” I see on people, especially over 20, isn’t a lot of new blemishes but old stuff that hasn’t faded. Which I’ll address below.

What really changed for me was behavior modification, mindfulness, and just getting educated about what these products I was putting on my skin did, how my skin functions, really paying attention to MY skin and ignoring advertisements and hype.

I can’t tell you what products to use because that’s completely dependent on your skin type and sensitivity, but r/skincareaddiction on Reddit has great holy grail product recs and I tailored them to my needs. Reddit is a cesspool a lot of the time but that sub is full of wonderful scientifically minded people who want to help.

The first thing I recommend is stop touching your face. It’s super hard, like ridiculously so, but I try to only touch my face when I’m doing my makeup or when I’m actually cleansing and even then I keep it brief. If I catch myself touching my face I actually will reprimand myself, sometimes out loud. It took me months to stop.

Use a clean pillow case. Like seriously, life changing. I put a soft t-shirt on mine and I get four days with that (front, back, inside front, inside back) and two more days of front and back of the pillowcase itself, wash on Sundays start all over. It’s part of my bedtime routine. I use an old shirt and marked it with the days of the week because I like systems.

Drink lots of water. A ton. I’m chronically bad about hydration, and I’ve taken steps to make sure I keep this up. This helps with everything not just skin. I carry my water with me everywhere in a Tervis Tumblr and sip at it all day through a straw. I have one (sometimes two) cup of coffee a day now and only water after that.

Stop physically exfoliating and scrubbing. Anything with harsh scrubs, microbeads, abrasive qualities etc is tearing up your skin even though you can’t see it. I know people swear by that spinny brush thing but I’m terrified of it now.Same thing with abrasive makeup remover wipes. I use micellar water and Ponds Cream to remove makeup.

The abrasive stuff allows bacteria and nastiness to get into these little microtears and make things way worse. It can also mess with your skin’s moisture barrier which sends oil production into overdrive and also makes things worse. When I wash my face I use the very tips of my fingers only, I don’t scrub and I use cool water never hot. I actually stopped using really hot water in the shower for hair and skin. If your interested I use the Cetaphil Gentle Skin cleanser.

Chemical exfoliants, though they have a scary name, are much better and can address issues like hyperpigmentation from left over acne, blackheads and sebaceous filaments (those black dots on your chin and nose that aren’t actually black heads). You have to find what works for you but I use Stridex Pads for a BHA and a glycolic acid for an AHA. I’m also on week 3 of a Lactic Acid chemical peel. The chemical exfoliation and the peel has done wonders to fade the hyperpigmentation from my acne and clear up those stubborn red marks from old breakouts. It’s now a critical step in my routine.

Listen to YOUR skin. My routine requires I only use the Stridex pads every third day or so, my skin is really sensitive and anything more is too much. I also don’t use any other acid for two days before my chemical peel day. These are just examples, your routine depends on your skin, but introduce products slowly, see how they react to your skin, patch test, look for problems like dryness or breakouts and adjust accordingly.

I assess my skin everyday because it changes with the weather and other factors. If I have dryness I back off on harsher things like the chemical exfoliants and up the moisturizer. If it’s oily I go lighter in the moisture and blot or switch to a matte primer. If it’s irritated or super red I remove anything new I’ve introduced and go back to just gentle cleansing and moisturizer.

Just take a few minutes everyday to really look at your skin and see what’s up.

It’s a marathon not a sprint and it can take months and months.

Sometimes changing your routine can cause your skin to “purge” and go into overdrive. This is hard because you don’t know if it’s the product or not, my advice is don’t introduce too many things at once and give each product a few weeks to settle in before giving up on it unless it hurts/burns/causes an allergic reaction.

Check out ingredients and labels. Stay away from alcohols and fragrances, look for products that are non-comodegenic though that’s not a regulated term and even really terrible products can be labeled that. Read reviews and look at recs. Try not to get hair product that have alcohols in them like hairspray on your face.

Sometimes it’s dietary. It wasn’t for me, but some people swear when they cut out dairy or went vegan their skin cleared up. I personally try to eat whole, homemade non processed foods when I’m really sticking to my guns. Today I had a cheeseburger and a bunch of fried things at a restaurant. Sometimes you get off track or want a treat, it’s cool.

Take off all your makeup. Every night. I used to be really bad about this but I now do it religiously. It’s actually a very calming part of my day my skin care routine. I mentioned before but I use Micellar water or Ponds Cold Cream so I’m not rubbing and tugging. If I have really stubborn makeup I’ll use a soft microfiber cloth but I try to be as gentle as possible when I do. I use a new cloth each day

I don’t touch my face with my phone. Phones are gross. I rarely talk on the phone but when I do I use headphones, my car speakers, or speaker, it does not touch my face ever.

Moisturize! Omg. Washing your face and using products messes with your skin’s natural moisture so you have to replace it, otherwise your skin will go into oil over drive and you start all over. You can cleanse your face with any product in the world but if you don’t moisturize you probably won’t get any results. I use the Cerave in the white and blue tub and I also have a serum from Silk Naturals (the super serum).

Sunscreen is your friend. It’s hard to find one though that works with your skin and your makeup so be open to trying a few. It essential though especially if you are using retinoids or chemical exfoliants, or topicals like benzoyl peroxide (which I use for spot treatments). I tried the Cerave one last week and personally didn’t like it, I’m trying a Neutrogena next. Sun can also increase hyperpigmentation and make it stick around because it’s caused by melanin, so even if you are chemically exfoliating if you expose your skin to the sun you won’t do any good.

My routine goes something like this if you want specifics:

Remove makeup using Ponds or Micellar water.

Wash face with gentle cleanser, fingertips only, less than 30 seconds of touching for my whole face (cannot stress enough how little I touch my face).

Let that dry naturally. I don’t use a towel per face touching. (I usually do this whole routine shirtless cause water everywhere).

Then I use one of my chemical exfoliants (Stridex or Glycolic) depending on the day. I let this dry on my face and like marinate for at least 5 minutes but I’m doing other stuff so it can be awhile. Some days I don’t do this depending on what’s going on with my skin.

Spot treat with benzoyl peroxide. I try to use a lower percentage but most are 10%. It stains clothes, so again with the shirtless. I put it on problem spots only because it’s super drying.

Then I use my serum. Again let this kinda hang out to absorb into the skin.

Then moisturizer.

That’s nighttime. Morning is much less involved. Wash face in shower, spot treat, moisturize, sunscreen.

Do what works for YOU though, you really have to learn your skin and be mindful of it. Treat it gently, be nice to it, don’t slather it with things that make it mad, don’t scrub it with things that tear it, hydrate it and protect it.

Also, be diligent. It seems like a lot of work but it’s really not when you do it everyday, it’s just a part of your day and I do other things while I do it.

I really feel like it’s been life changing getting this under control and when your face is like 90+% awesome you don’t mind new blemishes as much. I have two spots on my face right now and I’m totally chill about them because the rest of it looks so fabulous they aren’t as noticeable. When your entire face is covered in marks though new stuff just adds to the noise and seems way worse. Individual spots are also a lot easier to conceal.

Please let me know if this was helpful and keep me updated. If you have more questions don’t hesitate to ask.