#id go online and say btw don’t get to attached

[ryderdire]

God if I ever get a tv show or comic seris or anything I cannot WAIT to fuck with the fandom

[dazed--xx]

Alone

REQUEST: *Hi see you mentioned about story requests. I'm having a hard time since I'm currently pregnant and my partner walked out on me, so could you do one when Jungkook where I meet Jungkook and he helps me raise the baby please*

Summary:  “I'm pregnant Jungkook.” the line goes dead silent “look before you say anything, no I wasn’t hiding this from you and I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me shit I wouldn’t want to talk to me and move on to someone who is not pregnant and going to be having this type of responsibilities-” “Y/N-”

GENRE: Mild-Angst, Fluff

Member: Jungkook x Pregnant!reader

Word count: 2,132 

A/N: so this is literally my first fanfic ever and i hope you guys like it. and to the person that requested this I wanted to tag you because i did post it but i didnt want to kind of call you out online especially since this was based on something you have personally happening to you, trust me pregnancy is scary let alone having to go it alone so if you need someone to talk to im here btw.. but hopefully you guys like this it was pretty good i wanna post a couple of requests a day since i banged this out as quickly as i did im taking more requests just inbox me or go to my ask let me know if you want your name attached to the request and i will send everyone that i know requested a specific story i will tag and send it to you so you know it is done but without further ado ALONE

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“Where are you going? Do you really expect me to do this alone?” I shouted to the already abandoned house. A swell in my throat rises and I can't breathe. My body shakes as the tears take over. I fall to my knees running my hand over my stomach. “Don’t you worry baby; Daddy will be back he loves you I promise” I say to the life growing within my womb. 

The warmth from the comforter consumes me as I awaken with dried tears in my eyes. My heart aches as I remember the events from the past 12 hours. The thick silence takes hold of my heart and it begins racing. My heart beat sounding as if it is being played on a speaker the size of a skyscraper. Feeling the bile rise in my throat, rushing to the bathroom, I empty out the contents of my stomach. Tears escape my eyes as I reach out to the void. I'm alone truly.  

My first OBGYN appointment rolls around and my heart is in my stomach. The nurse escorts me in, slowly my feet turn into lead as I drag myself onto the cot in the room and lay back facing the monitor. Once I feel that cool gel upon my stomach, my heart settles and the most beautiful BUMP BUMP BUMP is heard throughout the room. My eyes focus on the image in front of me. “well congrats sweetie you're about 10 weeks, Due September 27. Remember no stress and make sure to take your prenatal. We’ll see you next week” My ultrasound technician announces excitedly. I smile anxious as to what I should do next.  

I make my way to a small café after my appointment wanting a small tea to calm my nerves. Looking around the coffee shop I notice quite the crowd and my panic begins to set in. It feels like I can't breathe while the crowds begin to grow as the café reaches the brink of rush. More and More people pour through the door as my anxiety takes over and I feel the bile rising again, I abandon my spot in line trying to make it to the restroom before I release the contents of my stomach all over the café floor. The restroom door becomes the only thing in sight to me as I dash for it. I reach for the handle and the door opens and I slam into a hard chest and soon I am on the floor.

“HOLY CRAP!!! IM SO SORRY I WAS NOT PAYING ATTENTION” A angelic voice apologized above me. My eyes drift from the floor up to see the most amazing man I've ever seen in my life with his hand out and my voice gets caught in my throat. I stare at him for a while capturing every detail of his face and take his hand. I nod quickly and mutter a fast “Sorry” and dash around the beautiful man and lose myself behind the safety of the door. I was dreading walking back out into the craziness of the café, but excited to see if I could once again get a glimpse of the gorgeous man from before.  

Soon I am back in line and order my tea, when a familiar voice sounds from next to me “You know.... you should let me pay you back for your drink you know...since I hurt you” Shocked I turn my head to see the same beautiful man from before. “Oh, please don’t worry about it I really wasn’t paying attention either it's not a big deal” I smile shyly. “Besides I'm sure you have better things to do with your time than to buy a stranger a drink” He laughs “Honestly, Beautiful, I don’t really have anything to do with my time that doesn’t involve getting to know you” Heat creeps up to my face and I lower my gaze and smile. “I don’t need you to pay me back for my tea for you to be able to get to know me, but unfortunately I gotta go” I say slowly moving past him. “At least let me get your number...please” He asked “You don’t even know my name and you want my number?” “Hey I know what I want and I feel like me knowing your name won't matter much cause I probably won't be calling you anything other than mine” I let out a small giggle “ that was super corny but since you're trying so hard give me your phone” I put my number in his phone and hand it back to him and walk toward the door “By the way my name is Y/N” as I make my exit I hear him shout back “Jungkook!”  

As the weeks pass, I find myself talking more and more to Jungkook. He still hasn’t stopped flirted with me as much as he did that day in the café but we talk everyday about almost everything and I can't help but feel scared to tell him I am having a baby. What would he say? Will he not want to talk to me anymore? Would he not like me as much? A loud RING pulls me out of my thoughts as my phone lights up with Jungkook's name and photo comes up on my screen.  

“Hey, what's up cutie?” He says excitedly  

“Not much, just lying in bed not feeling too good today” I respond pouty  

“Aw, do you need anything? Medicine? I can bring you soup it'll make you feel better I know you said you went out with your friend last night are you hungover?” The worry evident in his voice.

“Um honestly no um I can't drink so I'm definitely not hungover just different I know what it is though I'll be fine” the nervousness in my voice is evident

“what's wrong then beautiful? Is everything okay?” Oh no... not that question. He’s worried and I know he is but I don’t know what to say. I can't stop it the words just rush out of my mouth like the bile I throw up every morning  

“I'm pregnant Jungkook....I'm 14 weeks pregnant” the line goes dead silent “look before you say anything, no I wasn’t hiding this from you and I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me shit I wouldn’t want to talk to me and move on to someone who is not pregnant and going to be having this type of responsibilities-” “Y/N-” No listen Kookie cause I really like you and I didn’t mean to keep this from you I was just scared that you would hate me” “Y/N-” “I mean I know you just met me a couple weeks ago and it wouldn’t mean much for you to just walk away from this because let's be honest who wants to deal with that-” “Y/N! JUST STOP AND LISTEN PLEASE!” The words stop flowing as quickly as they began.

“Do you think id stop liking you because of the simple fact that you're pregnant, I mean yeah it does suck that you're going to have someone else's baby but I don’t care about that... WAIT! Is that why your ex left?” I stay silent

“Baby....are you there?” He asks worried.

“Baby girl???”  

“Beautiful are you okay? Hello?”

I sniffle “Yeah I’m here sorry” my voice cracks at every word.

“Baby are you crying? Do you need me to get you anything?”  

“No, I'm fine I promise I'm going to go to bed okay? Goodnight handsome I'll talk to you in the morning” “wait what no I'm com-” I cut him off to end the already overwhelming call. My vision blurs as the tears cascade down my face and I let out a harsh sob. I was scared for nothing or he's just too optimistic. A loud knock on the door grabs my attention.  

“who is it?” fear leaking out in my tone. “Baby it's me open up” I hear Jungkook's melodic voice through the door. Quickly I swing the door open to be greeted with the man I've grown so accustomed to in the past few weeks. Taking in the sight of him my heart begins to race as the tears began to no longer form. He reaches his arms around me and pulls me against him. “Baby girl, why didn’t you tell me sooner? You really thought that would make me just leave. How could I do that when in the past few weeks, you’ve stolen my heart” He looks at me and there's a hunger in his eyes as they shift down to my lips. “aww fuck it” he exclaims as his lips capture mine. His arms wrap around my waits as my hands get lost in his soft midnight hair. After a while he pulls away and a small whimper is released from my mouth. “Do you know HOW long I've wanted to do that” he exclaims excitedly with a smile plastered across his face.

After that night Jungkook never left my side, everything I craved he got, Anytime I felt nauseous Jungkook was there.  It became routine with him his calls became more frequent on days he knew I had appointments and he went to every ultrasound. His excitement for my baby was shown one day when I came home from work and my whole apartment was filled top to bottom with diapers bottles and wipes. Jungkook was still too nervous to buy much because he felt he was taking part of the experience from me and the fact that we still don’t know what the baby is yet. As the date rolls around to the appointment it's all Jungkook can talk about. He wants a girl every five seconds he reminds me it's always “Baby do you think the princess will like me? I mean I want her to know I care and that I love you” which is why he was so heartbroken when he could not make it to the gender reveal appointment because of a last-minute practice session. “Please promise to call me right after you find out okay baby?” He begs sadly before he left for the morning.  

After the appointment my heart swelled with joy as I turned into my driveway to see Jungkook's car sitting there. As soon as I unlocked the door, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist and feel kisses peppered up my neck “Hey, Baby how did your appointment go? How are you feeling?” he says in-between kisses. A blush creeps up onto my face “Yeah, it went great baby is a growing good and healthy, so I have to tell you something” I state biting my bottom lip and looking toward the ground.

“Oh god what's wrong? Is our princess okay?” his use of the word our makes my heart skip a beat “OUR? And the baby is fine....” I look at him pointedly and his hand runs through his hair as his face turns beet red as he slowly stutters out “I mean....um... I'm sorry I didn’t mean to just assume that you wanted me involved but it's so hard not to be when I'm so in love with you that I don’t care if I wasn’t the one that got you pregnant that’s my baby and you’re my girl so yeah our.... so, what is you have to tell me?” I kiss him softly at his words. I beam at him “You're literally so amazing I can't believe you would even consider any of this I know it's a lot to ask for someone to be involved with someone who is pregnant and all I appreciate it baby BUT unfortunately it's not a princess we got blessed with, handsome” as I put his hand on my stomach and his face twists into confusion “what do you-WAIT! IT’S A BOY? FORREAL? IT’S A BOY?” the smile cannot be contained on his face as he comes to the realization.

"Yes, it’s a boy” I state as Jungkook lifts and twirls me around I laugh.

Jungkook happily exclaims “Oh my god, I'm gonna have a son.” Jungkook drops to his knees and places his hand on my stomach and softly speaks “Hey handsome, its daddy, no I'm not your real daddy baby but I'm going to love you and your mommy like I am. I can't imagine a world without you I can't wait to meet you”

I stand there smiling knowing.......Jungkook won’t ever leave me alone  

[dstprl]

I am sure you have been on Social Media and seen an ad pop up for Peloton which is why I decided to write my Peloton Bike review.  First and foremost let me say when my husband started eyeing this bike around January of this year I was skeptical.

The considerations

For one, he already had a bike which he wasn’t using and when I looked at the price tag of the Peloton I was shocked to say the least.  Then he informed me there is a monthly $39 subscription you want to have because without it, the bike really won’t be used at full capacity.

After thinking about it and hearing my husband talk about it I agreed to getting one.  It arrived in March 2018 and I suspect, to get me to buy in even more, my husband bought me cycle shoes that clip into the Peloton pedals.

We did not purchase everything Peloton such as the water bottles, dumbbells, foam roller, earphones or shoes but we do have a few hoodies and t-shirts because they are cute.

[Tweet “Read all about my #Peloton bike experience and whether you should get one. #pelotonride #femmefitalefitclub”]

Price

I started off balking at the price of a Peloton bike which is around $2,300.  That is not easy for many to swallow but they do have payment plans which is a plus.  That price is only for the bike.  In order to enjoy the online Live and On-Demand classes you need the monthly subscription which is an additional $39.

As you can see it can add up.  Again, if you can move past the sticker shock they do have payment plans which can ease the cost burden on some.

Classes

There are hundreds upon hundreds of classes available with the subscription such as cycling (of course), running, and yoga to name a few.  I am extremely impressed with the amount of classes offered beyond just cycling.

Class durations vary from 5 minutes to 60 minutes and you can filter on them or also by:

class type,

instructor,

music genre or

category (hard, new, most popular, etc.)

Please note, all of the classes are not children friendly.  In certain classes the instructor may use profanity or the lyrics to the songs played aren’t the clean version.

If that isn’t your cup of tea, no problem, they have classes with all genres of music from Country to 80’s Pop to R&B.  Choose what you like, there’s a lot of variety so you are bound to find something you enjoy.

Community

One thing I like a lot about Peloton is the sense of community they provide on Social Media.  They have a private Peloton Page group for Peloton users and each instructor runs their own private group.

People share their personal records with each other, post tons of photos and are very helpful and encouraging when questions are asked by newbies such as myself.

The Peloton app

The app is where you access all the classes unless you have the Peloton Tread.  It allows you to build a profile and share the classes you completed to Social Media.  You can also follow friends there.

While I like and reciprocate a follow for a follow on the Peloton app there isn’t much else there when it comes to socializing.  BTW follow me at Diatta.  You can’t message each other but you can see how many rides or activities they completed and the amount of rewards they’ve collected.

The Peloton ride

The Peloton rides are HIGH ENERGY even the ones for beginners or low impact.  If you’re riding a live or on-demand class, you can virtually high five others who are participating in the class with you.  There’s a bunch of Live and On-Demand cycle classes to choose from as far back as 6 months so pick a class and enjoy yourself.

During the rides there are a lot of features as well such as viewing your heart rate, if you wear a monitor, viewing the artist and song title playing and the leadeboard.

The leaderboard is where you can see all those who ever took the ride, where you rank and who may be riding with you at the same time you are.  You can also see how their output compares to yours which, if you are competitive, can help you push beyond your comfort zone and hit a new PR.

Instructors

I can’t say enough about the Peloton instructors.  I have not even come CLOSE to taking them all because there are a handful which play the music I like so I tend to take their classes over and over but from Robin Arzon to Ally Love to Alex Toussaint you really can’t go wrong.

Some of the instructors also teach multiple disciplines such as cycle, boot camp and running.  I like the versatility of its instructor team.  Each instructor as their own unique style but I’ve found they all keep me interested and motivated during the workout.

All positive attitudes, all smiles and very attractive people, can’t go wrong there.  Many even shout you out on Social Media.

I’ll leave the Instagram names of the ones I follow below.  All you have to do is click on the photo and follow them.

💥 READY 💥 My everyday is just like yours…underneath it all lies all the hard work and effort to be ready when the time comes. I’m #RipReady with the #ZNE fit… how do you stay ready?👇🏽 #adidasathletics #createdwithadidas @adidas

A post shared by A l l y L o v e (@allymisslove) on Aug 30, 2018 at 7:54pm PDT

Ally Love @AllyMissLove

I’m out! 💃🏽 See you on Sept. 7 @onepeloton, Fam. Off to Burning Man. ✈️

A post shared by Robin Arzon (@robinnyc) on Aug 22, 2018 at 4:39pm PDT

Robin Arzon @RobinNYC

My superpower is inner fire. I ignite the 🔥 of transformation in myself & others, every 👏🏼damn 👏🏼 day!👏🏼 As the superheroes of our own narrative we must play out our purpose with the same conviction Superman has to justice & truth and Batman to protect Gotham. Your role here is that important! 🌟 SUPERHERO CHECKLIST: ✅ Define your life’s purpose & align EVERYTHING with it! ✅Refuse to listen to any inner or outer voice that says you can’t. ✅Gather a team & collaborate. ✅ Plan to always be uncomfortable. ✅ Be brave AF & lead with love, simultaneously. 💥 If u were a superhero, what would your power be? Why?

A post shared by Jessica King (@jesskingnyc) on Sep 3, 2018 at 10:57am PDT

Jess King @JessKingNYC

Feel Good. Look Good….Do Better!! #Vibecheck #Justdoit #NYC

A post shared by Alex T (@alextoussaint25) on Aug 18, 2018 at 3:48pm PDT

Alex Toussaint @AlexToussaint25

running into the holiday weekend ….. 💨💨💨 we work so hard to enjoy life! celebrate the extra day fam and treat yo’self 🌭🍔 @asics @iamwellandgood @wilhelminamodels #iamwellandgood

A post shared by Olivia Amato (@oamato) on Aug 31, 2018 at 5:48am PDT

Olivia Amato @OAmato

Quick question… What is your actual motivating factor? 💫 What I mean is, what is the root of your motivation? What is feeding your desire? Is it Soul or is it Ego? We say yes to so many things yet possibly never ask ourselves often, if ever, why? Why are we doing things that don’t always feel right or are what we need or want, or can afford just to keep up with the joneses. We say yes to dinners, coffees, meetings, trips, clothing, buying trendy items, moving, relationships, and of course exercise. If I took a poll asking you if they actually enjoy working out, would you say yes? If not, why do you workout? So, you lace up to run. 🏃🏼‍♀️ Why? Do you run to look better or because you actually love the feeling of running? That runners high, that accomplishment of completing a task, a claimed moment of your day that’s device-free 📲 and simply yours, a necessary mental break and “you time”, a treat for your body, a method to focus your competitive spirit, a way to spend time with friends? Is your choice to move initiated by positivity or by a feeling of negativity? When we choose to move because we hate our bodies we run the risk of disappointment in achieving a goal that is never good enough in our heads, never mind the fact that the entire time you spend getting to said point you’ve carried along a negative motivating factor with you into a positive space! How will you create love ❤️ where you bring hate? Both are green, just depends which grass gets watered. Let today be the day we change our approach to the things we do. Approach work, friendships, partnerships, and your personal relationship with yourself with love and see how fast you mind and world starts to change. When we do things that feed our soul instead of our ego the end is no longer in sight. The sacred relationship with yourself will begin to improve, fast…. be sweet to yourself, and don’t be afraid to find your truth. Dig deep and look for the reason you actually are doing the things you do. ______________________ #createthelove #truth #rksolid #motivation #tuesday #train #trainpeloton #traintuesday #transformationtuesday #transformation #abs #run #running #workout #ego #soul

A post shared by Rebecca Kennedy: RKsolid (@rksolidnyc) on Aug 28, 2018 at 5:47pm PDT

Rebecca Kennedy @RKSolidNYC

I feel that I’ve become more empathetic/understanding in my years spent in NYC. The truth is… the struggle is real… I don’t know anybody who hasn’t fallen flat on their face at least once here. I’m speaking from experience: when you fall flat on your face here, you don’t just fall, you get trampled over 10 times, kicked in the ribs, and then splashed with 20 buckets of icewater. “WAKE UP” she tells you! It takes a resilient, strong human being to peel themselves back up off the ground after, and find that hustle again. It takes a champion… My city is full of champions. BLESS you NEW YORK CITY. #newyork #hustle #champions

A post shared by Selena Samuela (@selenasamuela) on Aug 28, 2018 at 6:00am PDT

Selena Samuela @SelenaSamuela

When I started

When I first started on the Peloton bike I had trouble clipping in.  I struggled.  Hubby tried to coach me and I was trying my best but could not clip those shoes in to save my life.

He sort of had to half wear my shoe and clip them in for me and then I put them on while clipped in to the pedal.  I know I know but I’m much better now.

I also struggled clipping out.  A few times I just left the shoes clipped in and went on with my day because my legs were too tired to try and/or I was catching cramps.  OUCH!

After the first 4 rides, 4 days in a row my butt stayed sore even though my husband had a cushion on the seat.  It’s just the nature of the beast.  It gets better as I no longer get sore since I’m riding my regularly  now and I’m 24 rides in (woohoo) but my butt can get numb if I sit too long.

I remedy the problem by standing when that happens.

What kept me interested – FRIENDS

Once I found some of my friends actually owned Peloton, and we started following each other, we would schedule when we would take the same classes either live (which start early in the morning East Coast time) or on-demand (which are available all day long).

That made it very fun for me because we could see each other’s results and it felt like we were together even though we were states away.

They do have a neat feature where you can click on the person’s profile during the ride and click Live Video and actually see the other person riding LIVE.  I did that once with a friend who lives in North Carolina and it was very cool.

It was during a live class.  I thought that was very cool.

The other classes I’ve taken

Besides cycling, I’ve also taken the strength training and tread classes  which are very good.  The strength training tends to last about 10 minutes (at least those are the ones I chose) but they have longer classes.  I just never had time to do more or go longer.

  The tread classes

The tread classes are excellent and what got me back interested in Peloton to begin with.  I typically run on my own treadmill and mirror the class from my iPhone 7 to my Apple TV flat screen so I have the big screen and speaker experience.

Feels like I’m actually in the studio with them.

We do hills, sprint drills, combinations and all sorts of things which really keeps the heart rate up and the fat burning which is what I like.  They even have walking classes for those who need a recovery day or can’t handle all of the pounding from running.

I’ve tried a few of those and believe it or not, those are very challenging too.  As you can imagine they crank up the incline.

So far there hasn’t been 1 instructor or 1 class I didn’t enjoy.  I’ve gotten up and worked out completely tired and not feeling it but once I hear that peppy voice and motivating quotes and words…it’s on.  I fix my attitude and get into it.

What could be better

I honestly can say there aren’t any suggestions or recommendations I have for Peloton at this time to improve upon.  Granted I was having issue connecting my heart rate monitor but found out it was my error not theirs.

It’s a very innovative company and I look forward to some new products and services they come out with.

My rating

As if you could not tell, I give Peloton 10 out of 10 stars.  There are programs for every fitness level which I love, there are various types of programs by music genre and duration which offers up options for people who have the time or have limited time.

They’ve thought of everything.  The instructors are positive, attractive and motivating.  They also shout out people riding in the studio or at home during the live rides which I find extremely thoughtful.

I can’t thank my husband enough for having the vision and thought to purchase this awesome package of equipment and classes which has taken our at-home workout game to the next level.

I enjoy it very much, plan to ride more days on than off and highly recommend you research and consider getting one for yourself.

Perhaps we can ride virtually together in a live or on-demand class and push each other further.  To quote several of the instructors “You ain’t hustlin’ if you ain’t strugglin’”.  Let’s GO!

Are you interested in purchasing a Peloton?

Leave any questions you have that I haven’t answered in comments below.

My Peloton Bike Experience and Review I am sure you have been on Social Media and seen an ad pop up for Peloton which is why I decided to write my Peloton Bike review. 

[perfectionistincrisis]

Day 37 (& 36,35,34,33 ..blabla)

Not much to tell.

It’s just that um. Yeah, things are different. Life is different. I am different.  I am not that familiar with this version of me and don’t know how much I am capable of. But I know that I got a lot weirder. I could hardly care or give a shit about most of the things. Ignorance is my best defense mechanism; I tend to ignore/ keep away things which get to me.  However, everything comes with a price. I get crazy crayyy crayyy zee cravings from time to time. Sometimes it’s food, sometimes it’s shopping. Sometimes it’s taking a perfect picture of food maybe, or of something. Idk. depends on situation os surroundings. Sometimes its looking for the perfect shoe online, and other times the perfect lipstick shade. Or other times its making a list of all the make up products I want to buy. Sometimes im deciding which mall to go to and when. Other times i am thinking which restaurant to go to and when. Sometimes in the most random way possible i start thinking of any specific food and crave it badly and almost feel its taste in my tongue, other times I am making decisions of how I will be eating healthy and making big lifestyle changes.  Sometimes thinking of how little minor details in life, the ways people interact, the comments people make, the way people look at you, the way you respond to someone, the feelings that are being expressed, the feelings that are being suppressed can mould a persons life in such different ways and affect someone so deeply.. thinking of it all draws tears to my eyes.. The world is a harsh place. We might consider ourselves as “human beings”; the civilized creatures but in reality.. I think there is not much difference. We are only a little better than animals who need to be “tamed”. Infact, even harder when we are the ones who need to tame ourselves because everyone is damaged in their own way. No one is perfect, no one was taught how to survive life. Its like you were dumped on earth and you need to figure things out for yourself but hey that’s kind of okay once you know that this is what youre supposed to do. But what about those people who think they are doing right. Who think it is okay to be exactly the way they are now. Hahaha, I guess I sound like I am angry with humans lol. But nah, I dont really care tbh. Now this would be a lie maybe in the past where I would just be “trying” to not care, but now! I actually dont! but that doesnt mean I can totally ignore bullshit happening in this world. but yeah, it doesnt really get to me so much! Anyways, moving on. So yeah! How i survive. Well at times I kind of lose it and get really attached to materialistic/ worldly luxuries! Like i-neeed- to buy this. I -need- to go there. I -need- to eat this. Sometimes it is posting a pic on instagram, where life is so sugarcoated and nice. I have been working on it for a long time. I really have a thing for taking pics of food mostly or other things or myself and when I pick some of them, and put them together and theres a chronological order being maintained to some extent. Just scrolling through it, your life flashes in front of you to an extent. Its nice.  Now one might think that i could do the same scrolling through my gallery too but theres a difference. First, since i am a person who is a sucker for taking pics, my gallery is overloaded! Back in high school, my pictures wouldnt just take up the whole of my gallery but also would fill up my friends’ phones too! they would literally have way more pics of me than their own selves. But the difference is that id chose pics which i would want to upload, which are okay to be shared. Btw its not really like i upload my -best- pics. most of the times it is one of the average ones. As much as i would like sharing ‘dark’ parts of me, I am also not comfortable sharing good ones all the time. well anyways, so yeah thats enough about pics i suppose lol i can go on talking all day wow ‘-’

Okay then there’s me having this strong urge to eat something, or go shopping and buy something and all of that. How i deal with that? well sometimes it really gets on my nerves and that is bad. And then i realize i am diverting my aims in life and yeah that is pretty much it. I just get my mind to think straight and I am fine for some time. it sounds really simple yeah, but its really really bothering when i crave for anything! like it really gets to me to really extreme levels. its all i think of and i cant concentrate or do anything peacefully. but when i get back to my senses, everythings fine again.

This was just one side of things. There is another side to. This one’s easy! I sleep. or just sit and do nothing. When i say nothing i mean it. Its not like i am on my phone and im going through every social media app scrolling on and on and doing nothing. its not like i am sitting on my laptop and doing nothing. It notttttt! When i say doing nothing i mean it. Nothing. I am just sitting with no gadgets, nothing. No i am not even lost in deep thoughts about anything. Like i said, ignorance is my escape. I just dont care enough to get to do something, anything. So i end up sleeping! And except for pee breaks, i can sleep for hours and hours like wow! this was so not me lol! I actually didnt like sleeping so much, well not like i like it now. I mean yeah i do sleep a lot but not because i like it. I am neutral, there is nothing it like about it and i might have hated it earlier but now i dont hate it either. I mean before i used to think there is so much to lose of people keep sleeping all day. Well right now I still have the same idea but i mean at this phase in life right at this moment, for me, there isnt much I am losing while sleeping so its ok. 

So yeah, those are the two extremes i keep shifting between! extreme cravings for the weirdest things followed by letting go of all this materialistic desires/ urges and getting my thoughts clean! Or doing literally nothing, not caring at all, ignoring anything and everything and sleeping! 

Um well thats it. Now before finishing up there are two things I wanted to point out! 

One is that my food cravings dont really have anything to do with the fact that its Ramadan, because I havent fasted a day yet. i mean food was always important to me. It helps me deal with things both mentally and emotionally since always.. Same as spending money on shopping! 

And the other thing I wanted to point out is him.  There is nothing new i can tell about him. just that he is always on my mind. Always. To keep it short, its like the ONLY  thing that has changed is that we dont talk. AND that is a big big big thing. but that is the only thing. That is how i feel! And since it is a big big big big thing (way bigger than all the bigs I put in there) it s not cool! But idk  I just miss telling him how much i love him.. Okay i was never a person who was into ‘telling’ that cause i really really believe that actions speak louder way louder than words when it comes to those 3 words -i-love-you- but yeah! that doesnt mean id be cool if someone would just act it out and not tell me so lol.  And yeah so its the same right now. I mean i really feel like I would never fail in acting out my love for him. I am  just that certain and aware of how much he means to me. So yeah, that is why i said. that i miss telling him so. that i love him.. I miss being able to do so.. Ummm yahhh So that’s it! Pretty long post ik but kinda making up for the extremely tiny mini posts for the last few days but yeah i pretty much covered what is going on with me this whole time so yeah!  :) 

[shikungigi]

(Do people still say manenos?)

I was thinking of what to write today then I remembered I should have written about being on a train for the first time in my life. Okay, fine, I have been on the miniature train. The tiny train that remained the biggest reason I looked forward to Show every year as a kid. And if you understand what I meant by Show, you will likely relate, so I will not explain. After I grew up and read about the Kenya-Uganda railway and how it paved way for most of Kenyan “civilization” as we know it today, I wanted to get on the Lunatic Express. That never happened (clearly) and my chance to experience that part of history passed on just like that. So much for procrastination.

I have been procrastinating the SGR ride too, since last year. I never had an actual reason to get onboard and hit Mombasa. First of all, my idea of fun is very far away from coastal temperatures. When most people I know enjoy the beach and swimming. I don’t. It has been a running joke for years now, at work. How, when everyone was swimming I was seated in my coat. (LOL, of course the storyteller exaggerates that part. The very reason I hate coastal weather is the heat and sticky humidity, so why would I be in a coat?) Anywho, the chance to get on the SGR train presented itself last week and without thinking twice, I jumped on it, motivated by the novelty of it all, not procrastinating again and the fact that it was just going to be a weekend thing. In and out before I could catch a headache from the heat.

So this is what happens when you get to the station or terminus, which they call the Nairobi Terminus even though it is miles away from the capital: You literally feel like you are at the airport. So maybe they should just call it a rail port. I believe a ton went into building these big terminals and it is immediately evident from a distance. Oh and btw, we call it the SGR I think because we Kenyans love short and snappy names for everything, but I was trying to explain this to an American and she was like, oh you mean the Madaraka Express? And I was like, eeeerrrr, oh yeah… no one calls it that here though. I could hardly even remember that is what it was dubbed last year. Different strokes.

The Nairobi Terminus is designed in the shape of two trains moving towards each other, apparently with a load between them both. Lol. Makes no sense but very beautiful either way. The first stop before getting into the terminus is a tent, where you place all your belongings on a platform and step away, and then the police walk their dogs by them to sniff out any illegal stuff. After the sniffing, you pass through the machine check. I mean, I have never even seen sniffer dogs at JKIA!

Front – Taken last year

In the bowels

Back

After this point, you can take pictures at the beautiful front then walk into the terminus for ticket checking, making sure you have both your ticket and national ID. There is additional drama that is attached to ticket booking btw. I was going in a group, so I did not experience the actual drama since this work was done for most of us by the leaders, but I heard the horror stories. Apparently tickets get booked like hot cake online. If you make a mistake and tarry, you miss a spot within a few hours. A member of the group even got a ticket indicating the wrong date of travel and had to get this changed last minute. At this first ticket check, they are not super keen on the dates and all. Once you are through another machine check and into the building, you go up a flight of stairs (or escalator) to the expansive waiting area. Again, like an airport, people get here hours earlier, because this train does not wait for Kenyan timers.

The waiting bay just in front of the boarding gates

So after chilling for forever, just chatting, the gates to board the train were opened at 2pm. This train had just arrived from Mombasa at around 1. The first folks to board are the first class peeps who pay a whole 2,300 Kenya Shillings extra for that extra space and comfort. Us KSh 700 folks board shortly after. This is the point your ticket is scanned for you to gain entry into the final stage. And this is also the point you are finally singled out if your ticket has a problem. Once you are through, you walk across the length of the terminus to the flight of steps that lead you down to your coach. The SGR staff are everywhere, directing passengers to the correct coaches.

Mind the gap and enter the train. The first thing that hits you is the air-conditioning. Even locating the seat numbers is very much plane-like. The difference is you are walking through a much wider space and the seats are much more and arranged differently. One side sits four people facing each other and the other has six people, with just a tiny “table” jutting out from the side. There are luggage racks overhead and strip curtains for the windows. You are obviously supposed to sit on the seat allocated on your ticket, but if you can make arrangements with someone else to switch, well and good.

At exactly 2.30PM, the train started moving, gradually picking up speed. This train’s speed indicator was not working correctly on the screen, from what I gathered, but if the the one from the trip back was anything to go by, we were going at about 110km/hr. The trip is mostly noiseless. You don’t even realize you are moving that fast until you look at the ground just below the train. It is quite smooth the ride. So smooth, some clown in our group convinced one girl that the train had no wheels and it was just sliding on the rails. And she actually believed it. LOL. Pretty soon, you are past Athi River station, gliding through vast savannah and sometimes crisscrossing the old railway. At other points, you are parallel Mombasa road. If you pay attention to the road for long enough, you will spot a random SUV trying to beat the train. But that effort is always thwarted by any of the many trucks trudging through the road.

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This railway passes through 7 stations and 23 substations (I read, didn’t count myself. Relax.). I only managed to spot five I think. The 7: Athi River. Emali. Kibwezi. Mtito Andei. Voi. Miaseny. Mariakani. If you are really bored and peer into the wild around Tsavo, you will see some elephants. At around Voi, I think, we whizzed past the other train headed to Nairobi. At first, I thought it was moving, but that would make no sense, as my seat mate explained. It has to stop and let the other pass before it proceeds to its final destination. At every station we passed, there was staff standing by, I don’t know for what purpose. 😀 We also went over many elaborate bridges but I was stupid enough not to realize this until I read about it.

In the train, the train staff will push through trolleys with food, but this food is nowhere near free. BRING YOUR OWN FOOD, BRETHREN. Either already in your tummy or for consumption along the way. The toilets are great, but they block sometimes. They are designed pretty much like plane ones. And just like on the airborne ones, you will always find a rando who will not close the door shut to turn the light red and you will catch them off-guard seated on the toilet. And then they will act offended when they are the ones who did not utilize the lock as clearly instructed. SMH. The coach also has power sockets at one end, but that’s not super helpful if you are sitting near them. So you either go stand there and charge your phone or forget about your phone altogether until you have reached your destination. (I need a new phone!!! Where art thou, Sony XZ2?!) You will also be advised to not move from coach to coach, but please, you will move, especially if you know people in other coaches. If you do not move, you will not be super comfortable, unless you are in the 3000 shillings crowd.

We got to Mombasa at 7.15PM, so that’s like not 4 hours flat, more like 5. Like I said, you get used to the speed that you cannot automatically detect if the train has just slowed down, or has actually stopped, unless you look at the ground by it. This terminus has a huge tower jutting into the air above. It is designed to represent ripples and waves. Does not makes sense to me either but who cares, it’s awesome. However, it only hits you how much more tinier than the Nairobi one it is on the trip back home, because you will not find a place to sit even when you are pretty early. And there will be queues in the only washrooms in this terminus. he You have plenty of time to study the place and just think about what you could do with all the idle land lying around the terminus. Buroti maguta maguta.

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The trip from Mombasa started at 3.15pm and ended at 8.20pm. Again 5 hours. Let me stop there for now.

(I started writing this two weeks ago, when the ticket price was not hiked to Ksh 1000.)

SGR Manenos (Do people still say manenos?) I was thinking of what to write today then I remembered I should have written about being on a train for the first time in my life.

[mountainwheelchair-blog]

As I’ve said many times before, my engineering background is extremely limited, yet this mountain wheelchair project demands experience in a wide range of engineering disciplines. As such, I have needed to spend considerable time in online forums seeking advice from people with more experience than myself. The forums, and the advice received, have been instrumental and I would not have been able to get this far without them. That being said, at times, some of the feedback I’ve received has been a little disheartening. For example:

“I don’t think I would let my daughter climb up a path like that in a vehicle on wheels and especially knowing she would need to roll down again”.

“Are you really planning on letting your daughter descent those steep parts on 6 bicycle disk brakes all the way down?  That will be a workshop with a ‘steep’ learning curve in down hill biking”.

“The more I think this through the more I dislike the idea. Especially as you don’t seem to be very knowledgeable in this area (neither am I BTW) so it looks like this might end in tears. Please rethink this challenge and don’t risk your daughters health or worse with what seems a noble cause”.

Whilst I’m able to shrug these comments off with what might be considered determined ignorance, Ada on the other hand hasn’t yet developed this skill and comments like this have somewhat diminished her sense of hope in the project.

Although these comments have no impact on my desire to keep pushing on,  I have of late been coming home from work completely exhausted and finding it difficult to keep working on the wheelchair.

To try and reduce my workload, I had been questioning how useful this blog is. I mean, who actually reads it anyway?  Less time blogging means more time for building right?

As chance would have it, just as thoughts of discontinuing the blog were starting to run through my mind, in quick succession we received a number of messages through our Facebook page. For example:

“I am watching what you are achieving with great interest”.

“I love reading your site. Keep it up! I’m 33 now and have grown up in a wheelchair my whole life. There is nothing I haven’t been able to do with a little bit of planning, effort and engineering”.

“I used to be a fell runner and miss getting out on the hills […] This wheelchair would give me the opportunity to get out and explore and enjoy the off beat track again. I want this chair! I love the design it is so upbeat and mountain cracking!”.

“Good luck with everything you are both inspirational”.

On top of this, in the very same week, I was sat at my desk in work when a colleague came in brandishing an envelope which she suspected belonged to me. I didn’t know of any other G Davidson in the college so I proceeded to open it. I was absolutely gobsmacked when I did! It was a letter of encouragement from the Welsh Assembly! The letter reads;

“Dear Mr and Miss Davidson, I am writing to congratulate you both on your inspiring ambition to create a specialised mountain wheelchair in order to continue your adventurous outdoor exploits.

I understand that Myalgic Encephalomyelities, or ME, can make it very difficult to continue pursuing a variety of activities, particularly as the models of mobility aids available are not designed for the rich and wild terrains that we have in [North Wales]. Therefore, your determination to continue pursuing the activities you enjoy, and think creatively to solve these problems is especially commendable, and should be a model for us all.

With all the hard work and gritty determination that you have both shown, I have every confidence that you will fulfil your ambition to reach the top of Snowdon, and i hope you take the time to reflect on your journey there when you do.”

Letter regarding the Mountain Wheelchair from the Welsh Assembly

The kind words both from the assembly member and from the followers on Facebook offered an immense boost in motivation and I’d like to thank you all for taking the time to write to us. It couldn’t have come at a better time for me and has given me the impetus to keep the blog going. When Ada read the messages her face lit up, then she walked away doing a little dance with a smug look look on her face 🙂

Whilst I’m here, I’d also like to say thank you to one person on Facebook who consistently shares all of my posts and helps to encourage interest in the mountain wheelchair project. If you’re reading this Mervyn, then thank you, your support is deeply appreciated.

What’s Next?

It’s Friday today and in a few hours the college will be breaking up for Easter. Hopefully this means a short break for myself to recharge my batteries and then it’s back to building the mountain wheelchair with renewed focus and fewer distractions. Lots of parts and tools have arrived from overseas so hopefully I’ll be able to make substantial progress. Watch this space…

Words of Encouragement for the Mountain Wheelchair As I've said many times before, my engineering background is extremely limited, yet this mountain wheelchair project demands experience in a wide range of engineering disciplines.