#idek what this lowkey long mess is tbh? pls accept it as a token of my affection tho c:

[alionachernova-blog]

@monaxjames

It was a long-awaited day, circled with red marker in her agenda — the first day of rehearsal after a week devoid of meaning, wasted away in the depth of nothingness. An icy glare glued to the ceiling, languid stretching of unstimulated muscles, controlled breathing.

                                                     In and out. In and out again.

She had missed this with every beat of her heart, the adrenaline set free by physical activity that paid her living flooding her nervous system in exquisite synchronisation with endorphins, all cruelty of this world she lived in forgotten — until she was made to stop, along with all the others who seemingly craved a rest, undeserving flock of chattering seagulls. Ten minute break, the bane of her existence, only made bearable by nicotine, hydration and the company of someone as uninterested in maintaining elite social circles within the company as her.

“Isn’t it weird that they’re still talking about it as much?” Light steps echoed from the halls, backstage not solely made of marble for the rich spectator’s eye was the only one required to be catered to with such mundane flattery. Holding the steel door open for her friend trailing along behind her, Aliona turned ever so slightly, unlit cigarette already placed between chapped lips. Her flow of words was uncharacteristically enduring and undisturbed, the topic what kind of ordeal their fellow danseurs and danseuses had turned Katerina’s death into. “I mean, sure, it’s the first time we’re all back together and all but it’s not like it’s still news? Shouldn’t we lay the girl to rest already?”