#idk I just wanted to talk about how Porsche smoking is portrayed in the series and what that might say for the character

[dreamedofyou]

Porsche & Smoking

I've been thinking about Porsche and his smoking habits ever since we saw him say he wanted to quit smoking in ep 8. I can't help but shake the feeling that it's one of those details to help us understand him better and showcase his character development (because why else would they have included that line, right?).

Putting it under a cut just in case some people feel like it's clogging up the tag/their dash.

The first time we see Porsche smoke is after he's had sex with a bar customer and I thought nothing of it at the time, apart from seeing it as just one of his habits (it was the first episode, so both of the main characters were still getting established, meaning it's not unusual for directors/writers to include a scene of someone smoking for no other purpose than to establish someone is a smoker).

However, the more episodes I'd seen, the more it seemed to me that there was a pattern emerging. Namely, that we see Porsche smoke after a stressful situation or whenever he's in emotional turmoil a lot. For example, this is the case in episode 2 after the apple shooting incident.

The first thing he does after the adrenaline wears off and his fear catches up to him is grab a smoke, which is very telling. It shows the audience that Porsche alleviates stress through smoking. Cigarettes help him calm down (which is not uncommon among smokers, at least those I know irl) and take some of that edge off. In other words, he needs a smoke to cope.

From this point on, the idea is reinforced in several of the scenes in which Porsche smokes. That time when he can't bear watching Pete and Ken beat up the man disloyal to Kinn's family in ep 3? The first thing he does after Pete takes him outside is indulge in a cigarette, and based on his expression and the way he takes that drag you can just tell he felt relief, like he couldn't wait to do it in order to ease his mind.

The bathroom breakdown in ep 5? Which is arguably the scene in which he's hit his lowest point so far, mentally speaking? He smokes.

Actually, throughout the entirety of episode 5 Porsche only ever grabs a cigarette when he gets emotionally overwhelmed in some way. He's clearly struggling during the scene where he tries to hook up with a random bar customer again. He isn't in the mood to do that when Yok points him in the woman's direction but he goes for it anyway. He tries so hard to convince himself that he can go back to doing what he's always done, that Kinn having sex with him hasn't affected him in the way it has. So when he fails, when he can't "perform" like he's done countless times before and the woman walks away, which leaves him with nothing but his distraught emotions, he immediately turns to smoking again.

(I love this image so much because it really shows the turmoil he's feeling in this moment.)

Now, all of that isn't to say he only ever smokes whenever he's stressed, because there are times when he goes for a casual smoke, but such is the nature of smokers. Sometimes they'll smoke just because they need/want a cigarette. Even during a few of those scenes, however, there's an underlying presence of stress or unease in his life.

(This is him smoking just before the confrontation with Macau in ep 2. Remember, Porsche has had a really rough time throughout the episode getting used to a completely new world and messing up a lot. So he was definitely going through it mentally.)

(The party in episode 7 was right after quite possibly the most dangerous mission Porsche has been a part of since working for the Theerapanyakul family, so letting loose with the help of cigarettes and alcohol after coming back from such a high-stakes situation feels natural.)

Anyways, I'd like to come back to the scene I mentioned in my very first sentence – the one that prompted me to start thinking about Porsche's relationship with smoking in the first place and write this whole thing.

The implications of him thinking about quitting are, imo, huge, because quitting cigarettes also means throwing away one of his coping methods, the thing that grounds him when he feels too on edge. So maybe, just maybe that's because he's starting to feel like he doesn't need to cope anymore. Whether that's because he doesn't feel as stressed/anxious anymore (he's been really happy and full of joy during ep 8 prior to the scene above) or because he's found something (or someone) that helps calm him down instead, it's all due to his relationship with Kinn.

(What does he do when he's deathly afraid of being haunted by Tawan's ghost? Smoke to calm down? Or call Kinn?)

The fact that he wants to quit smoking for the first time ever (as far as we've seen) indicates that he feels happier, calmer and in a much better mental state in general.

Too bad we all know it won't last. 🙃