#idk guys i reread the land of stories books and got to that part where they’re in irl nyc and talk about hamilton

[imissjensi]

i am mentally preparing myself for the keeper crew to go to the forbidden cities in stellarlune and for there to be at least a page and a half where they find a hamilton ad and discuss it and sophie has to explain what musicals are and who hamilton was and biana or fitz or someone else is like “why would they make a musical about this shitty guy” and sophie is like “i don’t know! why are we even talking about this” because if i am counting correctly the keeper timeline is currently in late 2014 / early 2015 which is close enough to the boom of hamilton for shannon to reference it and for that i am terrified.

[boydepartment]

I'm sorry, I'm late- Hwang Hyunjin (oneshot version)

Description: Y/n is a student teacher in a small town in France. Hwang Hyunjin is an idol who decided to run away after trouble started to arise again. He finds himself in the class where she helps, quickly they peaked each other’s interests. Both of them ran from something and it landed them in this small town in the middle of practically nowhere. One thing they both know is that the past always catches up and it is only a matter of time, so they better make the most of it.

Warnings: cursing, maybe a touch of dark subjects. There is French in this story, I am currently studying the language and I am not an expert. If you happen to speak the language and notice a mistake, please tell me! I am happy to learn and correct myself!      

a/n- this is a really old story i wrote a few months ago, and i still think about it, so i decided to compile all the chapters into one whole story. i always reread this story too IDK i cleaned it up a little too

wc- 25k ? MASTERLIST

Chapter 1: His eyes

You sat up slowly, feeling the sun through your thin curtains. Your body felt refreshed, oddly enough. Looking over at the clock on your wall you hopped up.

You were late to class! You ran to the wardrobe to get a quick outfit. Throwing on some old clothes the ever so kind old lady, Gram, across the street gave you when you first moved here as a housewarming present. She also made you her special pasta, the thought made your mouth water, but you didn’t have time to relish that thought. You rushed to your bathroom washing up to look presentable enough to be running around a classroom helping the teacher. You grabbed your flats which were by the door and threw your book bag over your shoulder. Feet out you started running down the worn old street.

                “Morning Y/n!” One of your neighbors yelled from across the way. You mustered a morning as you kept running. You could not be late! That would look unprofessional! You started to see the town in the distance and took a second to breathe. What time was it now? You dug through your bag and found the watch you bought from the general store. 7:45am.

Alright! Finally slipping your flats on you took note to remind yourself to take a bath when you got home, especially since you ran barefoot all that way. You started to run again down the hill not noticing the person at the bottom. You ran straight into him, your bag swinging around you.

                “DÉSOLÉ! JE SUIS EN RETARD! (Sorry, I am late)” You yelled and kept running. Normally you learned not to apologize much here, but you really rammed into him.

However, it was worth it! You got to the small classroom in the tiny-tiny school in time.

                “Bonjour, Y/n. (good morning, Y/n)” Your higher up greeted you. You greeted him back with a nod and sat down in your desk which was sat by his. You were learning how to teach art here. Since the teacher was getting old and Mr. W noticed that you weren’t one of the young people to just leave the small French town after his semester class, he decided to take you under his wing. He would tell you how to thoroughly teach an art class, as well as help you with your French. For the most part a lot of people in town would cut you some slack, they pretty much picked up that you were young and at least trying to speak to them as much as you possibly could.

The classroom started to fill with young adults, it was the usual class, until someone who wasn’t ordinary showed up. It was the guy you rammed into at the end of the hill. The more you looked at him the more he stood out to you. His hair was chopped horribly, and his clothes had what you assumed to be the logos removed. You have read an abundance of true crime books in your youth so to say this man didn’t raise all the red flags would be a lie. He didn’t look like he would harm anyone though, that is what truly through you off about him. He looked like a scared ally dog.

Eventually you got tasked to clean up the brushes from last class, you quickly got up and went to the broken-down sink at the back of the room. You let them soak and you listened to the head teacher guide the class through the lesson. Soon that will be you leading the class, you couldn’t wait. Mr. W really knew how to captivate the learning starving artists, soon everyone was working as the record player near his desk started to play famous classical pieces. Your eyes drifted to the young man in the corner, once again catching your interests. You watched as he deliberately and carefully let the small delicate brush hit the thick paper. The sun hit him beautifully and you started to notice little details about him. Then he made eye contact with you, and you quickly went back to soaking and cleaning the brushes, you even went as far as cleaning various old materials used earlier on in the week.

As much as you tried to get your mind off him, you couldn’t. Huffing you grabbed a stool and sat next to him. He looked at you with a terrified look, he looked as if you caught him sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar before dinner.

                “You’re new here, I ran into you…” You mumbled and kept looking at him, he looked down quickly at his work.

                “I- yeah. It’s okay…” The young man went back to his painting.

                “Do you speak French?” You watched his line work again; his eyes watched the brush intently.

                “Very little, I have visited Paris many times, but I don’t stay long.”

You let out a small huff of a laugh, “Paris is quite far from here.” This caught his attention and he looked at you.

                “Good.” He said softly then turned back. You two have been talking in a soft tone due to people around you trying to focus.

You decided to keep talking, “did you just move here? I haven’t seen you around.”

                “Yes, a couple weeks ago. I was at the Inn until I moved into the neighborhood above the hill.” He dipped his brush in the paint again and kept the steady hold.

                “You live in the same neighborhood as me.” You said, “you’re also mainly a landscape artist.”

The man looked stunned, and he dropped the brush, “how can you tell?”

                “The way your lines are deliberate, you’re calculating in your head instead of feeling out the page and medium emotionally.” You said and made eye contact with him; he was a total mystery to you. After living in this town a couple of years, you learned about almost everyone. The town only sometimes got any new visitors until this guy just showed up.

                “You can pick up on that?” The man spoke softly, he seemed to walk on eggshells around you. Did you hurt his feelings? There was nothing wrong with deliberate and calculated lines.

                “Yes, mainly because I wish I could do that in my art.”

He picked up the brush again and dabbed it on the paper, “what mediums and styles do you work in?”

                “Portrait and abstract. For portrait I work in charcoal and watercolor, for abstract I work in all different types of stuff I can get my hands on.” You spoke softly. When a ghost of a smile graced his features, you almost felt your heart stop and you didn’t know why.

                “I hate working in charcoal and abstract.” His eyes followed his brush strokes again.

                “Which house do you live in?” You asked him.

He smiled again, “you ask a lot of questions.”

                “We haven’t had someone new actually move in since I moved in.” You quickly answered back.

The man acknowledged your statement, “the one with the dead rosebush in the front.”

                “It’s not dead forever!” You said rather defensively, mainly because you live right next to this house which you thought was vacant still, “it just needs some help.”

                “Ah so you know the house I live in?” He picked up a thicker brush.

                “Yes, you’re my neighbor. It is a small neighborhood in a small town. Also why is-“ you were going to ask him about his hair when Mr. W called you by his desk. You excused yourself and walked over. He ended up tasking you to clean up the chalkboard, something about his arm hurting him. If you translated that correctly.

As you cleaned up the old-fashioned school board you felt eyes on you, you knew they were the mysterious stranger’s.

Well, your mysterious neighbor.

After the class was dismissed, you helped clean up for the day and Mr. W excused you. When you grabbed your bag and walked out of the classroom you saw the mysterious stranger again. He saw you and you noticed he got nervous again.

                This guy was very odd.

You approached him, “you can go home now.”

                “You wanted to ask me something though.” He said and you two walked out of the school building. You looked up at him trying to remember what on Earth you were going to ask him earlier. You pouted a bit trying to remember.

                “If you don’t remember then I live next door.” The man said, he went to turn to the direction of the neighborhood, and you stopped him again.

                “Wait, what’s your name?” You had grabbed onto his sleeve. His lean figure whipped around.

                “Hwang Hyunjin.” Part of his expression told you he was nervous to say this, but still answered you.

                “Can I give you a nickname to help me remember?” There was no way you wanted to forget his name let alone accidentally pronounce it wrong. Between speaking English and now heavily studying French, sometimes your pronunciations could get a little wonky.

You saw him smile warmly at you, “Sometimes people would call me Jinnie.”

                Jinnie… How cute.

You nodded and repeated it then introduced yourself, “I am Y/n. Y/n L/n.” You put your paint-stained hand out for him to shake. He gladly took your hand and shook it. His hand was quite larger than yours and the next thing you knew he turned away and waved. You stood there dumbfounded, this man, Jinnie, was odd. But he was interesting and young like you. Part of you felt like you had to help him, no one really helped you when you moved to town. You didn’t want this man to go through that too. You made up your mind, you would show up at his door tomorrow and walk to school with him.

Your feet made their way to the heart of the small town, you greeted the locals, they were now kind to you and warm. You belonged here now to them. It was a foreign feeling, being a part of a community that was kind to you. Walking into the bookstore where you help part time you were greeted by your coworker.

                “Ah… Vous n'avez qu'à balayer le plancher. (I need you to sweep the floor)” She didn’t always give you tasks like this, most of the time it was restocking shelves or working the counter. However, you didn’t mind sweeping the floor. You nodded and went to the back room to retrieve the broom and dustpan. Everything was older and you thrived in this environment. You could be doing nothing at all, or cleaning, and you are happy. You loved it here. Maybe you romanticized a little too much though. The thought made you smile to yourself. After your sweeping your boss had you tidy up some shelves.

                “Um, Y/n!” She peeked her head in from one of the shelves, “A demain(see you tomorrow)??”

                “Oui. (yes)” You said simply, you planned on popping in tomorrow after school anyways, if she wanted you to help out too, you would gladly do so. You saw her smile at you then nod, walking off to other tasks. Once you were done you said your goodbyes and started to walk back home. Your little neighborhood wasn’t far from the town. Part of you felt excitement bubble up in you, remembering your new neighbor.

When you walked up the hill it was already nighttime, you honestly think you should start carrying a walking stick especially because it was a pretty empty field surrounding the small jumble of brick homes. The trees didn’t start until the back of the neighborhood. You never went that way though. Whenever you walked into the beaten path you found yourself once again becoming happy, seeing someone new here really greatened your appreciation for this town. You wondered if Jinnie had the same appreciation as you.

You unlocked your small house which you would be lying if you said it wasn’t some little cottage. You decorated it the past two years like that on purpose. Kicking off your flats you remembered how dirty your feet were. Letting out a small laugh, you walked towards the bathroom and drew yourself a bath. As you waited for the water to fill, you made yourself some tea. It was dark out now and you felt it would be a great way to end your night. As you washed your hands in the sink, you had a perfect view of your neighbor’s living room. You didn’t want to be creepy, so you closed the curtains, but not before taking note of how peaceful he looked reading a book that clearly enthralled him. Your heart pounded and next thing you heard was the kettle whistling. Quickly shaken out of your thoughts you waited to pour yourself a cup and head back to the bathroom.

Slipping into your nightgown which was yet another gift from your birthday last year from the kind lady across the way. She wanted to always repay you for bringing her your homemade pumpkin bread once every other week. She was your first friend here. You went under your covers and made sure your alarm clock was on this time. You had to get up a little early anyways, you wanted to walk with Jinnie to school.

                                                          ~+~

Shockingly, your alarm did wake you up. Excitedly you hurried to get ready, your feet pitter pattered to the wardrobe. You grabbed a dress and another sweater; you were always one for layering even if summer was quickly coming. That means you would have another year of student-teaching experience under your belt. It also meant you would spend more time at the bookstore soon, which made excitement bubble in your stomach. You walked to the bathroom and once again got washed up for the day. Teeth, hair, the homemade lip balm you made yourself, all done!

You slipped your socks and boots on, today felt like a boots day. The breakfast menu was some fruit and toast, you really had to pick up more food soon at the market. Maybe you would go in a couple days on Sunday, the town always had merchants come in and it was outdoor. You nodded to yourself and finished eating. Grabbing your bag you headed to the neighbor’s home, the one with the sad rosebush.

To say you were a little nervous would be a lie, you weren’t used to being the one to almost chase after someone, but Jinnie intrigued you. You knocked a couple times and he answered, seemingly already dressed.

                “Good morning, Y/n.” His voice was soft. Jinnie’s eyes looked tired.

                “Good morning Jinnie, do you want to walk with me to the school?” You really hoped he would say yes, he could be the only friend you have that was actually your age. Jinnie smiled down at you.

                “I would love to actually, let me grab my things.” He went to shut the door but then opened it, “you can come in.”

You took up his offer and decided to look around the house, it had been vacant since you had moved in. But it surely didn’t look like it got worn over time. You saw how he had already had stuff hung up, his art which looked recent, there was no sign of dust stains.

                “I have been painting a lot since I moved here.” He said now next to you, you nodded slowly.

                “I see most of them are of the town.” You noted, you recognized the general store and the fountain in the middle of town.

Jinnie hummed, “I used to paint flowers a lot, sometimes people or still lifes. But after moving here I have been inspired by the architecture.”

You finally got a look at his clothes, “you are wearing normal clothes today. No torn off logos.”

His brows furrowed, “you take note of everything don’t you? Our neighbor across the street gave me these. Said I was her old husband’s size.”

                “She did the same for me too.” You smiled at the memory, “if you want to thank her, I bake her bread once every other week. You can join me.”

His eyes, which were once tired, lit up, “I love bread.”

                “We will have to make extra then.”

After you talked about the pumpkin bread recipe you two started your walk to the school, the sun now just rising over the town.

                “It is hard to not romanticize this town.” He suddenly spoke, “although the people here sometimes act like they hate me.”

You let out a small huff of a laugh, “they do that to newcomers, if you want, I can help teach you some basic phrases. It will help them warm up to you more.”

                “You would do that?” Jinnie asked you, the cool spring breeze brushing through his hair.

                “Yes, in exchange that you help me with landscape art.” You said and put your hand out again, to shake on it.

                “Deal.” This time he actually grinned and shook your hand. You saw his toothy grin for the first time that morning. This man was dangerously charming.

You really couldn’t help the small glances you two would exchange during class, the small smiles, everything. He was an instant click for you. However, you didn’t let him distract you from your work, Mr. W would kill you if he found out you were getting distracted by some random boy. You started to study the art history books Mr. W assigned for you to take notes on, he always said if you wanted to teach a subject you had to know the history behind it. Your favorite artists were all landscape-based artists, mainly because you couldn’t do it. Your art was either the small details of people’s faces, or complete disordered abstract. Your mind once again wandered to Jinnie who was now cleaning his brushes, his art study on the town that was hung up by the door of his home was almost perfect in a way. You wondered how Jinnie himself just did that.

After the class, you picked up your history books and thanked Mr. W. Since it was Friday you wouldn’t see him until Monday, unless he called your landline asking you to come in. When you walked out you saw Jinnie waiting there for you once more.

                “Mr. W really knows how to capture the attention of students.” Jinnie spoke and held the door open for you. You walked out and waited for him this time.

                “I am very thankful to be able to learn from him, he wants me to take his teaching position when he is ready to retire.” Your bag swung a bit when you flipped around to face him.

                “You are very welcoming; I am sure you will be a good teacher.” Jinnie said, you two walked down the dirt path, almost to where the crossroad was.

                “Thank you,” you smiled at him, “I have to go to work… Which is in town…” You weren’t very good at goodbyes or see you laters.

                “I can bring you dinner tonight if you want, I mean you are helping me out with getting settled here. It’s the least I can do.” You two now stood at the crossroads.

                “I get home sort of late… Tomorrow though would be better, since I work in the morning and will be done by the afternoon.” You offered, you were curious to how good his cooking is, and you would never pass up on a free meal.

                “Alright, Saturday evening, I will cook and bring over the plates.” He nodded to himself. Before you were about to say goodbye he already flipped around and waved to walk home.

Jinnie was certainly a person you wanted to figure out, you even found the urge to try and paint him in your sketchbook. That urge hasn’t happened to you since high school.

While doing your chores in the little bookstore you saw some tourists, it seemed like your little town was gaining traction and that made you nervous. You liked how it was a small place to live, under the radar. This sort of put a damper on your mood, it had you overthinking.

It kept you over thinking into the next day as well, especially because that Saturday morning more tourists came by, and it scared you. You didn’t want people here, you realized while sweeping you had no right to say that. You were once a foreigner here too. Sighing, you kept mopping the same spot over and over.

                “I think it’s clean.” Someone spoke softly behind you, you turned around to see your other shop owner’s daughter, she was your second friend in town. She got you a job here with her mom in exchange of you tutoring her in English.

                “I-I’m sorry. There is just a lot on my mind…” You mumbled; she turned her head in confusion.

                “The recent abundance of tourists or that handsome man every girl in town is raving about?” She had a wicked grin on her face, “there are whispers about him living in the same neighborhood as you.”

You set the mop to the side, “it’s just the tourists, you know that makes me nervous and there seems to be more of them.”

She nodded, “you can head home early if you want, I need to make some extra money some of the girls in town want to make the handsome man cookies this weekend and I need to buy powdered sugar tomorrow at the market for the finishing touch.”

You thanked her and started to pack up, before you left you turned around, “oh by the way, his name is Jinnie.” You winked at her and walked out. The shop owner’s daughter felt like your sibling, although she wasn’t around often due to her schooling in the next town over. The time you spent with her you cherished. You took a deep breath then smiled to yourself, you had something to look forward to tonight and that was dinner with ‘the handsome man.’ You thought it was so cute that the girls were gossiping about him.

To thank Jinnie you stopped by the general store and picked up some flowers, that weren’t dead like the ones in his front yard.

                “Y/n!” You flipped around and saw your other neighbor, the kind old lady, Gram. You grinned at her; you had already paid for the flowers, so you went over to her.

                “How are you, Gram?” It was nice to see her out and about.

                “Well, I made friends with your next-door neighbor, Hyunjin.” She said and put stuff in her basket. You decided to walk with her and help her with her shopping.

                “Did you?” You asked and got something from the shelf she pointed to. Gram let out a small hum.

                “Yes, and I found out stuff about him for you.” She spoke slyly.

You laughed a tiny bit, “oh really?”

Gram let out a huff and nodded, “yes, he is a few months older than you. He traveled a lot, and he used to sing.”

                “That’s new information to me.” You mumbled to yourself.

                “I can’t hear you when you mumble.” Gram said back.

You apologized quickly and repeated yourself again.

                “There is a lot of things I feel you two could learn from each other.”

Your brows furrowed and pondered what she could mean by that. It was quite an odd thing to say but then again, she was odd herself. You helped your neighbor with the rest of her groceries and walked her back home.

                “Oh, tomorrow, Gram, I am going to the morning market, I will make pumpkin bread for you tomorrow as well, all fresh ingredients.” You said as you helped unpack her groceries in her kitchen. It was filled with old photos of her family; she also had a little collection of porcelain bunnies.

                “I am so excited for that dear.” Gram spoke from her chair in the living room. You finished up and walked in her very floral living space.

                “Is there anything else you need?” You asked.

                “Tell Hyunjin to bring me back my recipe when he’s done with it.” Gram then waved you off.

He borrowed a recipe?

You walked across the street to your humble abode and started to get ready for dinner with Jinnie. You set the red roses down on the table then started to your bathroom. You took a quick sponge bath and tried your best to look presentable. You had thrown out all your makeup a few months after you moved here, and you didn’t want to check the chest at the foot of your bed which was locked up with your old stuff for a reason. Out of sight out of mind. You dug in your wardrobe and saw a nice floral dress and slipped it on. Tying the back you smiled, Gram had a very good fashion sense in her youth. You rummaged through the little box of sewing supplies she gave you and found ribbons, you tied your hair with them. If he was making dinner you had to look presentable. Skipping to the kitchen you dug around your cabinets; you had wine somewhere around here. It was a housewarming present from the man who sold you this home. It had to still be okay… right? You never opened it. As you were rummaging there was a knock on the door, startled you hit your head on the top of the cabinet.

                “Ow…” You mumbled and wobbled up to the door. When you opened you saw Jinnie standing there with a basket in his hands, he must’ve gotten dressed up as well. He looked astronomical even with his choppy messed up hair.

                “Can I come in?” He spoke, a smile gracing his features.

You stepped out of the way and let him in, “do you like red wine? I am pretty sure I have a bottle here. Somewhere.” You mumbled and he followed you into the kitchen.

                “I could use a glass.” He set the basket down by the flowers. You had already resumed crouching by the cabinet, next thing you knew he was next to you helping you search.

                “Oh, the flowers on the table are for you. Figured you’d want something alive.” Chuckling at your own joke you moved the olive oil.

                “There it is.” Jinnie said while laughing slightly with you. He grabbed the bottle and set it on the counter, then put his hand out to help you up. You gladly took it and his soft hands held yours, then quickly let go when you were situated. Much to your dismay.

                “I do love the roses; they are my favorite actually.”

The corners of your mouth curved, “we will have to nurse the bush in your yard then.”

                “That we will.” He walked to the table, and you grabbed your glasses and the wine. Meeting him at the table you saw that he made pasta.

                “Gram said you really liked her pasta, so I tried my best.” Jinnie said and set the table.

                “I love her pasta; she made it for me when I first moved here.” You were quite surprised that he did this. You set the glasses down and poured the wine.

                “So, she said.” Jinnie motioned for you to take a seat and you did, he quickly followed. You saw he was waiting for you to take a bite. When you did you swore you could cry. It tasted so good, it wasn’t quite like Gram’s however, it was still so amazing to your taste buds.

                “You really- wow.” You wiped your mouth with a napkin, “this is really good.”

Jinnie grinned and took a sip of his wine, “I am so relieved, I was a little worried.”

                “You shouldn’t be, this is amazing Jinnie thank you.” You took another bite then washed it down with a small sip of wine.

Jinnie started to eat his food and he looked surprised, “you weren’t just lying to make me feel better, wow.”

Him being surprised by his own cooking made you laugh, hard. He looked up at you and started to laugh.

                “I thought you were just lying to be nice. Honestly.” Jinnie spoke between giggles. You kept giggling.

                “Tomorrow I am going to make that pumpkin bread for Gram, I just have to go to the market in the morning.” You said and took another bite of this amazing recipe.

                “May I join you? I heard the guy at the general store talk about the Sunday markets.” Jinnie asked. You nodded.

                “Of course, you can come with me, I’d love that.”

The way he was so charming and thoughtful really had you entranced. Jinnie was still a mystery to you and maybe that is what made you attracted to him. Or maybe the fact he has been the only guy around your age staying in this town longer than a semester. You didn’t know, but you weren’t complaining.

Chapter 2: His laugh

                “Good morning Jinnie!” You grinned as you swung open your door, the morning breeze already rushing at you.

                “Good morning, Y/n. I haven’t seen you in forever.” He joked as you locked up your home, you smiled remembering the previous night. Your dinner with him. Before he had left, you helped him clean his plates and you two pretty much finished half of the wine.

You two walked down the path to town, you really liked getting to walk with him. He started to open up and talk to you little by little. You think he realized he was in the same position as you, you were the only person near his age.

                “Gram said you told her you can sing, I forgot to ask you about that last night.” You said and he almost dropped his basket.

                “Gram told you?” He chuckled, you two were now at the top of the hill.

                “She did, I would like to hear you sing.” You said and looked at him, the sunrise warming both your bodies.

                “Maybe, I prefer dancing though.” Jinnie said and turned to you.

                “Dancing, singing, what else can you do?” You asked, Gram was right, he was something.

Jinnie smiled to himself, as if remembering something, “well, I can speak Korean too, some Japanese, uhhh…”

Your jaw was on the path, “and now you want to pick up French? That is very impressive.”

                “Korean was my first language,” Jinnie spoke softly, the tired features washed on his face again.

                “Can you show me your dancing one time?” You asked, wanting to change the subject. Jinnie once again smiled.

                “I would love to.”

You two arrived at the Sunday morning market not much later then that conversation. The heart of the town was bustling, you recognized the tourists again. You looked down and then up at Jinnie when he tugged the sleeve of your sweater.

                “What do we need to pick up?”

Some of the ingredients you already had at home, “we just need eggs, pumpkin puree, and cinnamon butter.” You said to him as he leaned down so he could hear you. He nodded and led you to the dairy stand. When the guy asked him what he wanted in French he started panicking and looked to you. You cleared your throat.

                “Je voudrais cinq œufs, sil vous plait. (I would like five eggs please)” You said to the man, he nodded and handed you the five eggs carefully. You softly set them in Jinnie’s basket and paid for them.

                “Merci! (Thank you)” You said to the merchant and continued on your way.

                “Thank you.” Jinnie said down to you. You smiled up at him.

                “This will be your first lesson, okay?” You grabbed him and pulled him to a bench. He sat down and you sat next to him.

                “Okay I am ready.” Jinnie said, his hands still gripping the basket.

                “When you ask for something, you say, ‘Je voudrais’ that directly translates to, ‘I would like.’” You explain to him, he repeated it back to you and you helped with pronunciation.

                “Then right after you say what you’d like, you then end it with ‘sil vous plait’ which means ‘please.’” Once again, he repeated it back to you, you smiled.

                “If you want you can even say, ‘merci,’ which is, ‘thank you.’” You further explained, “if you’re REALLY thankful, you can say, ‘merci beaucoup.’” He nodded and took note of your mini lesson.

Standing up you put your hand out instinctively, he grabbed it, and you led him to the next stand, this one had fruits. This is good practice. Plus, you wanted an orange to snack on. You led Jinnie up to the stand and he looked a little nervous. You told him how to ask for two oranges. When the guy asked him what he wants, he gulped and then spoke.

                “Je voudrais…” He looked down at you, you looked up at him and squeezed his hand, “deux oranges, sil vous… plait.”

You grinned at him, you handed the man the required money and you two got your oranges.

                “Jinnie that was amazing I am so proud of you.” You shook his arm that didn’t have the basket in it, in celebration.

                “My pronunciation was… okay?” He looked down at you, you nodded.

                “You did really well. The guy didn’t even look annoyed at you!” You giggled then continued to drag him around with you to get the other ingredients.

When you two were about to leave someone called his name, he whipped around and saw a group of five girls run up to him. You recognized one of them, it was your boss’s daughter.

                “We wanted to make these for you!” One of the girls said, another girl handed him a bundle of what you assumed were the cookies. He smiled awkwardly at them.

                “Ah… Merci… beaucoup!” He looked at you and you gave him a thumbs up. The group of girls started to giggle before practically running away. You heard whispers of, bel homme, and il est tres gentil. It made you laugh a bit and you two started your walk home.

                “What were they saying as they were walking away?” Jinnie asked you as you opened your front gate for him. You started to laugh as you dug in your pockets for your keys.

                “They were saying you were beautiful and very kind.” You saw his shocked expression and then you turned to open your door to your home.

Walking in, he set the basket down on the counter, and his gift on the table.

                “Well, that was very…” He looked at you.

                “Gentille.” You finished for him. Jinnie nodded and giggled then repeated what you said.

                “Gentille of them.”

You started to unload the groceries, leaving the ingredients for the pumpkin bread out. You saw at the bottom of his basket he had Gram’s recipe at the bottom. You smiled to yourself.

                “What can I help with?” Jinnie asked breaking you out of your thoughts.

                “Could you get the bowls and stuff please?” You asked him, he nodded and started on his first task. He retrieved them in no time and soon you two were baking.

                “JINNIE, CAN YOU GRAB THIS?” You wobbled your way from the back pantry where all the flours and sugars were, he quickly rushed over and grabbed the flour too, helping guide you to the kitchen.

                “Okay we did it!” Jinnie said and wiped his face. You started to laugh, and he looked at you with a confused look.

                “You have pumpkin puree on your face.” You reached up and wiped it off his forehead, still giggling at him.

Jinnie looked away from you, a smile on his face.

                “Can you preheat the oven?” You asked as you started to mix all your ingredients. He hopped to it instantly.

Once the bread was in the oven you two found yourselves looking over the bookshelf in your room, “you have a lot of good reads.”

                “Thank you.” You sat down on your bed and watched him, “I needed books to keep myself occupied when I first moved here.”

                “You don’t have a phone or a laptop?” He asked and turned around, holding a book of Monet’s work and history.

                “I do, they are just locked away, if someone in town wants to contact me, they can just use the landline.” You said simply.

Jinnie looked up from the book and right at you, “in that chest by your bed?”

You nodded, you didn’t look up from the book you were reading, “mhm.”

                “Can I ask why they are locked away?” You felt the bed shift, he sat by your sprawled out body.

                “Can I ask how you found yourself here?” You sat up now looking at him with curious eyes.

Jinnie thought for a moment, “I ran away.” He looked away from you as if he was ashamed of himself. Your features quickly softened.

                “It’s… It’s okay…” You spoke, just above a whisper.

Jinnie looked at you, “I was a coward. I am a-“

                “I ran away too.” You said quickly, his eyes widened, “there was a lot going on for me back home, um it became too much so I packed everything and left.”

                “Y/n, I understand that more than you know.” He said and grabbed your hand.

You looked up at him, “maybe one day me and you will go more into detail about why we ran.” You stood up still holding onto his hand, “but as for right now, we have pumpkin bread to deliver.”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “You know when I was a little girl, I used to have the most beautiful blond hair.” Gram said as she sliced the bread for you and Jinnie. She insisted you two have one piece even though it was your gift to her.

                “Your hair is still beautiful, Gram.” Jinnie said to her.

Gram let out a quiet laugh, “Hyunjin you are too kind…” She plated the bread and poured some iced tea for you both, and for her. Then she sat down.

                “Have you ever had Y/n’s pumpkin bread?” Gram asked Jinnie. He shook his head, “you’ll love it, I remember when she first made it for me.” Gram winked at you, and you smiled bashfully. Then you three dove in. Jinnie instantly complimented your baking. Gram told you this was your best batch yet.

                “I had help this time so maybe that’s why.” You smiled at Jinnie.

Gram laughed, “you better help her more if this is how good the bread is going to be!” She joked. You and Jinnie helped clean the cups and plates and she led you two to her living room.

                “I want to show you guys photos in my youth.” She sat you guys on the couch and then plopped herself in the middle of you two. Gram started to talk about how after some events, her and her husband decided to move into this little town to get away. Neither of them knew a lick of French but they learned together. You could tell Jinnie was absolutely enthralled with her romantic tale. His eyes lit up and he would ask her questions, she gladly answered. It made your heart warm; he was so effortlessly charming.

At some point she wanted to take her late afternoon nap, so she kicked you two out, Jinnie walked you to your door.

                “Walk with me to school tomorrow?” He asked with hopefully eyes.

                “I wouldn’t miss it Jinnie.” You spoke and stood at your doorway, the warm air in contrast to the breeze outside.

                “I will pick you up this time.” He said, you nodded and before you could say goodbye, just as usual he flipped around and waved. You shut the door behind you. Giggling you rushed to the bathroom, it was time to take a bath and settle down for the day. You still had to study your art history too. Oh, Jinnie just made you so giddy!

                                                                                                ~+~

 The next morning you knew you overslept because you heard knocking on your bedroom window. You groaned and rubbed your eyes, when you saw his silhouette through your curtains you hopped up and ran through your house, your slippers making you slide. Quickly, you opened the door and waved him in. Jinnie’s warm smile woke you up more.

                “Uh here if you didn’t have breakfast um make something, the pantry is yours!” You ran back to your room to get ready for the day. You threw on some old pants and a t-shirt. Your hair was a mess and part of you was a little embarrassed that Jinnie saw you like this. You threw on a straw hat and jacket, almost falling over you put on your boots.

                “JINNIE IS MY BAG OUT THERE!?” You yelled from your room. You heard him quickly walk around.

                “YES, I GOT IT!” He spoke back. You smiled and walked out, now ready to leave and walk to school with him. When you met him by the door, he handed you your bag.

                “Thank you!” You smiled and next thing you knew you two were walking to the school.

                “Oh, I woke up a little early this morning, so I made sandwiches for us, if you want to eat them with me after class.” Jinnie said and showed you the wrapped sandwiches in his bag, “I also took the two oranges from your fruit bowl.”

                “I will look forward to it, I shouldn’t have work today so I would love to have lunch. Especially your cooking.” Your heart felt warm around him again.

Jinnie let out a soft hum of acknowledgement, “I want to thank you by the way.”

You looked to him as you two just walked made it at the top of the hill, “why’s that?”

                “Welcoming me here, you could have just let me figure it out on my own, but you haven’t.” He spoke softly, “you are letting me depend on you.”

                “Well, you still have to help me with my landscape art.” You nudged him, Jinnie giggled.

                “I have that planned actually; I am trying to find a nice landscape for us.”

This sort of confused you, “you don’t want to paint the town?”

                “I will always paint the town, however, let’s say you get frustrated, at least you’ll have a nice view to calm you down.” He explained, “my first day here when I was still at the inn, I painted the general store, or at least tried to, and I couldn’t get it right. Then someone walked by, and it was the most beautiful view I have ever seen.”

You felt a pang of something, your stomach did flips, who captured his eye?

                “Did you ever get to see your view again?” You asked, Jinnie looked down at his feet, smiling to himself.

                “Almost every day actually.”

That’s odd, “do you know their name?”

                “Yes.” Jinnie giggled once more.

                “Do I know them?” Yes, you were nosy, you couldn’t help it.

Jinnie let out another laugh, except this time he threw his head back then looked at you, “yes you know them.”

You started to ponder as you two walked up to the school, “wait what’s their name?”

                “Y/n.” Jinnie opened the door for you, and you walked in, then spun around.

                “Yes?” You asked and took off your hat, Jinnie smiled at you and tried to fix your messy hair.

                “That’s their name.” He said simply and started to walk to the classroom. He left you dumbfounded in the middle of the hall. Once back to reality you started to run after him.

                “HEY!”

During class Jinnie would make an effort to not pay any attention to you, especially after how flustered he made you right beforehand. It made a little spark inside you; you thought it was funny. The way you’d catch him staring and then he’d dramatically look away. It made you laugh to yourself while you studied your history books. Mr. W started to teach the class about August Friedrich Schenk. You tuned in a bit always being interested by the way there was always an overwhelming dread in the art August Friedrich produced. You struggled painting animals so maybe that’s also why the artist also intrigued you. After the lecture Mr. W assigned you to run some errands to the other teachers, things like reports, attendance, stuff like that. You quickly did as you were told and found yourself greeted by your soon to be coworkers. One of them didn’t have a class for another hour so you found yourself making small talk.

                “Is Mr. W still being nice?” She asked and started to write her lesson plan on the board. She was the poetry teacher, Ms. Felicity.

                “Yes, thankfully, it is really different from being an art student in his class.” You took a sip of tea that she offered you in a paper classroom cup, “he has always been nicer to me though. I am thankful for that. He really has taken me under his wing the past two years.”

                “I’m glad, especially since you’ll be working here soon.” Ms. Felicity turned around and smiled at you.

                “Do you live in the next town over?” You asked, suddenly curious. She nodded.

                “It is quite the commute but it’s worth it.”

You nodded; you remembered the town over was very nice.

                “You know. I wanted to be the art teacher, but here I am doing poetry.” She spoke softly.

You two continued to talk until it was time for you to head back to Mr. W. You found yourself happy that maybe you made a new friend. You seemed to be lucky in that department lately. Walking back into the classroom you saw that Mr. W was close to finishing his lesson. You sat at your little desk and waited for the class to be dismissed.

                “Alright, you have your assignments for the next week, remember due March 13th. I will see you guys tomorrow.” The international students started to leave, Mr. W gave you more things to study for the upcoming week

                “I am very proud of your progress lately, Y/n.” Mr. W said, you gleamed at the praise.

                “Thank you so much, Mr. W!” You quickly picked up your notebooks and bag, packing up. Your teacher made small talk with you about the next assignments for the art students and then sent you off.

Once again you met Jinnie outside of the classroom, “hungry?” He asked. You smiled at him and placed your hat back on your head.

                “Starved!”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “The school has poetry too?” Jinnie asked as you two sat in the grass still in short distance to the school. You were laying on your jacket and you suddenly sat up.

                “Yes, did you not look at the classes?” You laughed and took another bite of the wonderful sandwich Jinnie made for you two.

                “Well… While signing up I was in a bit of a rush.” He said and sipped his reusable water bottle.

You finished off your sandwich and laid back down, “makes sense how you just appeared out of nowhere.”

Jinnie laughed, “I really did huh?”

                “Yes, shockingly. You just poofed.” You flipped on your stomach and looked up at him.

                “Is that why you ask me so many questions?” Jinnie teased.

You nodded, “that is exactly why I ask you an abundance of questions. You pique my curiosity.”

                “At least you don’t just see me for my looks.” He said quietly. Your brows furrowed and you could sense the sadness in his tone. It was a total 180. You wondered where it came from, especially where the statement itself came from. Yes, he was handsome, however did the people who he ran away from just see him as that?

                “No, I see you for your cooking.” You wanted to lighten the mood, anything to get that smile back on his face.

Jinnie rolled his eyes and smiled down at you, “okay Y/n. I see how it is.”

                “Alright! We both have homework to do!” You stood up and put your hand out. He took it and you helped him up, cleaning up your mini picnic you two went on your merry way.

                “We definitely should plant pumpkins in July.” You said and skipped along with him.

                “So, they’ll be ready for Halloween, right?” Jinnie asked, you hummed.

                “Exactly! The town actually does a whole thing for Halloween. It is really cute, too many tourists though.” You said, noticing once more he was lost in thought.

                “Hyunjin…?” You tested the waters of saying his actual name, this caught his attention instantly.

                “Am I in trouble?” Poor guy looked and sounded terrified, you laughed slightly.

                “Nono I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Jinnie nodded to himself, and he thanked you softly, “it’s just some weird stuff coming back to me again, I’ll be okay.” He reassured you.

                “I understand what you mean, that happened to me on my first birthday here. I hung out with Gram the entire day.” You recalled the memory, “it was weird not being around anyone I knew.”

                “My birthday is in two weeks.” He said suddenly.

Your eyes widened, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER!” You practically jumped on him; soft giggles escaped his lips.

                “We’ve been busy it didn’t come up.”

You huffed as you two made it up the hill, “what day?”

Jinnie thought for a moment, his way of keeping you in suspense, “hmmm I don’t remember.”

                “HYUNJIN!”

He looked offended that you used his actual name, “now I’m not going to tell you.”

                “Jinni- “

                “March 20th.”

You laughed at his suddenness, “okay good! We can plan something!” Jinnie looked at you, he looked a little unreadable.

                “You don’t have to…” He mumbled bashfully, you two walked into your neighborhood.

                “Well, I want to, I don’t want you to have the same sad birthday as me when I first moved here.” You were determined, “what kind of cake do you want?”

                “May I request your pumpkin bread?” He asked hopefully. You grinned at him.

                “Yes, you may!”

                                                                                                ~+~

The past week you and Jinnie would continue this routine of walking together to school and if you didn’t have work, you or he would make lunch. At one point he brought you lunch at work; it made you feel special. You found yourself cherishing his attention. He was way different from everyone else you have ever met. Hyunjin’s personality was as bright as the reflection of the sun on the water, and you were basking in it. There was never much to do in this town, you didn’t mind. But now that Jinnie was here, you had lots to look forward to, your schedule didn’t seem as mundane.

Saturday night you two were having dinner at your home once more, this time he brought you flowers, and you were cooking. You had music playing from the old music player in your living room.

                “What did Mr. W pull you aside for yesterday? I forgot to ask.” You said as you stirred the seasonings for the oven baked potatoes.

                “You forgetting to ask something? Impossible.” Jinnie joked. You turned around and gave him the stink eye, he giggled.

                “He wanted to look at my sketchbook, he said on Monday he wants me to bring in some of my work that’s on a canvas.”

You flipped around, “no way.” Jinnie gave you a look as if he didn’t know why you were surprised, “he’s scouting you!”

                “Psh no.” He waved his hand then took a sip of the wine he brought for you both.

                “Psh yes.” You said back and started to pour the seasoning on the potatoes. Once they were in the oven you sat down next to him at the table.

                “Mr. W takes one student from the class and scouts them, then if he chooses you then you get a trip to Paris for a chance to display your work at a gallery.” You explained, “I got picked my first year here when I was a student, look.” You stood up and grabbed the picture frame that was on your side table in the living room. You stomped back over and showed him the photo.

                “See look.” You shoved the picture frame in his hands, “I was really young and he really took me in. I owe him a lot.”

Jinnie smiled at your photo, you were holding what he presumed to be your artwork, you didn’t look much different, “your hair was shorter.”

                “That’s what you’re taking from this? Jinnie!” You grabbed the frame from him again, but he didn’t want to let go.

                “Wait I wanna look at you more.” Jinnie giggled, you sighed and let go of the frame. After a few minutes of him asking questions about your younger self he handed it back.

                “You really think he’s scouting me?” Jinnie asked and poured more wine for himself and you.

                “Absolutely! Whenever I walk by your station I may or may not peek at what you’re working on.”

Mr. W had to be scouting him, this is what your mentor does when he notices talent. Jinnie had that talent.

                “You look at my work while I’m working!?” He dramatically waved his hands around and it made you giggle.

                “I did when we first met, didn’t I?”

Jinnie thought for a moment then nodded, “okay you did but I let you.”

                “And why did you exactly?”

                “I told you; I think you’re pretty, beautiful, gorgeous even, the most beautiful view here. Why wouldn’t I give you the opportunity to be charmed by my work.” The wine must’ve started kicking in because he was getting bold.

You face heated up and you felt yourself scoffing, “you still have to teach me your methods. I am still holding you to that.”

                “I hope you do.” Jinnie said and leaned back smiling. He talked more about his walks he would take when you were working, saying he finally did find the perfect spot to take you painting. You eventually pulled out the bake potatoes and set up your plates, you also fried vegetables. Plating the food, you set it down in front of him.

                “This smells wonderful.” He smiled up at you. You smiled back warmly and sat in front of him, “can you teach me something?”

You picked up on him always wanting to learn something from you, “coffee grounds are bad for your drain… uhhhh…” You thought for a moment, “I don’t think Vincent Van Gogh killed himself.”

                “Oh? Elaborate.” Jinnie loved listening to you, and you loved listening to him. Eventually you two finished eating and you found yourself digging under your bed for old artwork. He wanted to see your portrait work.

                “Most of them I sold to tourists at the market when I first moved here. These are the leftovers.” You handed him the canvases and he looked at your art in awe. It ranged from big to small pieces, all capturing these people’s details. Their very soul on your canvas.

                “These are beautiful…” He breathed; he traced the canvas with his finger extremely delicately. You looked down.

                “You should’ve seen the ones that were sold, I didn’t want to let them go but I had to make money, and this was before my bookstore job.” You spoke sadly, he looked up at you.

                “We will make more pieces like these together.” Jinnie then looked down and more at your other artwork. The thought made your soul happy; you went to dig more under your bed and found old sketchbooks, one labeled abstract and you handed it to him.

                “These were from highschool, if they are a bit dark, I apologize, I don’t really like looking back at these much.” You handed it to him and ever so softly he took it and started flipping through the pages. You found yourself scooting next to him and looking at the worn pages with him. Your eyes went to his face, he looked concentrated as he read the words hidden in your work.

                “You made these in highschool?” He whispered, you nodded.

                “It wasn’t the best time in my life… Some decisions I made led me here though, so I guess part of me should be thankful.” You whispered back. The music from the living room still playing a bittersweet tune.

                “I can relate, although my last year was when I sold myself.” He flipped the page; you were studying him while he studied your work.

You looked back at the sketchbook in front of him, one day you knew you would find out about him. Maybe that night was tonight, “can you tell me?”

Jinnie looked back at you softly setting the book down, he was so gentle with your work, “yeah… I can tell you. But you can’t tell anyone else otherwise I have to leave.”

                “I promise.” You looked him in his eyes, you could drown in them. He stood up and led you to sit down next to him on your bed. You shifted so one leg was dangling off and the other was folded on the bed. He sat forward, hands together. He looked stressed.

                “Jinnie you don’t have to tell me if you aren’t ready.” Your hand found his way to his shoulder, and he looked at you.

                “No, it… it’s okay, I want to tell you.”

You nodded and got ready to have your listening ears on.

                “I used to live in Seoul, like Korea. I was very popular,” he looked away, “I was an idol, that’s why I can sing and dance. People really loved me, as much as I liked it, popularity comes with controversy. Almost every week something was wrong or something horrible was being said to me.” Jinnie took a deep breath and you grabbed his hand, he squeezed it and continued, “as much as I loved being in the spotlight and seeing the adoring eyes of people, I couldn’t take the constant pressure, getting in trouble for rumors someone else started, things I didn’t even do, I was tired, I was always scared of someone always watching me, so I ran the second I could. It is irresponsible of me, and I am sure the past month people have been freaking out, but maybe not, I don’t know, I wasn’t allowed to be active anyways when I left.”

Your hand squeezed his again, “I don’t think you’re a coward Jinnie, I just think you were burnt out and lost. That is okay and it doesn’t make you any less of who you are.”

He nodded, “thank you.”

                “Anything for you.” You spoke wholeheartedly.

                “Can you tell me why you ran?” He asked, you took a deep breath and nodded, Jinnie turned his whole body towards you, now he held both your hands in his large ones. He always wore the same rings.

                “In high school, I didn’t have a lot of friends, so when I finally did make them, I was naïve. I really landed myself in the wrong crowd. I was young and stupid to think these people actually did care for me. One of them I thought I fell in love with,” you felt your eyes start to water, “I was wrong, it wasn’t love, my frontal lobe hadn’t even developed so how was I supposed to know that what was happening to me wasn’t love.”

A tear fell from your eye, and he caught it with his hand. You continued, “at some point it started getting really bad, I got really scared for my safety and my family’s safety so I ran. I never looked back.”

Jinnie held tightly onto your hands, “thank you for telling me.” His voice was calming, and you found yourself crashing into him, hugging him desperately. He cradled you in his arms and let you cry.

                “It’s okay… Y/n let it out… I know…” His hand found its way to your head, and he played with your hair.

                “I miss being home, but I know it’s safer for everyone that I left.” You said in between sobs. Hyunjin just held onto you tighter.                 “I know… I know exactly what that feels like.” Hyunjin kept wiping away your tears as they fell, at some point he let a few of his own tears fall.

Chapter 3: His Kindness & His Birthday

When you woke up the next morning you had a killer headache, when you stood up your head felt like someone took a bat and constantly smacked you.

                “God…” You mumbled and walked toward your bathroom, you cleaned yourself up and started to recall what happened last night. When you walked out of your room you smelled food; good food, was Jinnie still here? You walked down your hallway quickly and saw him standing by the stove, he was cooking. Your curious eyes silently watched him as he stirred what you presumed to be scrambled eggs. He must’ve brought cooking ingredients over from his home. You watched as he swayed back and forth to the music he had playing on; he really could dance. It made you smile to yourself; he really could feel the music. It was impressive.

You didn’t want to embarrass him, so you walked back to your room and called his name.

                “Jinnie!” You re-walked down the hallway.

                “Cooking breakfast!” He called back, you walked into the kitchen, he turned around and grinned at you. The sun was peeking through the curtains, and he was illuminated beautifully, “good morning. Are you feeling okay?”

                “I have a bit of a headache.” You said and looked at what he was cooking, you were right, scrambled eggs.

                “Here, I’ll get you some water. Watch the eggs please.” He spun around and started getting you your glass. You hummed and watched the eggs; it was scarily domestic. Part of you didn’t mind, Jinnie is kind and you have never related to anyone as much as him.

Jinnie handed you a cold glass of water and took over the food again, “drink up, if needed we can run to a less secluded town for headache meds.”

                “I think I might still have some in the cabinet in the bathroom…” You pondered and sipped the water. He started to plate the eggs and put jam on the toast.

                “Where did you get all this food?” You asked, as you sat down on the table. He quickly put the food down and sat with you.

                “I had some back at my house and then I picked up the jam this morning from the general store.” He said simply.

You nearly choked on your food, “you walked to town this morning?”

Jinnie nodded, “mhm, after our crying session last night we must’ve both passed out. You were still asleep when I woke up, so I wanted to make you breakfast.”

                “That’s very kind of you.” You took a bite of your food and once again your tastebuds were delighted.

                “I figured it would be nice after yesterday.” He spoke softly. Yeah, yesterday… You were hit with waves of memories. He ended up telling you why he ran, and you told him why you ran too. He was an idol… Like a celebrity?

                “Do you have any questions? You have a cute funny look on your face.” Jinnie looked up at you.

                “So you were-“ You didn’t even know how to ask.

Jinnie wiped his mouth of any crumbs, “an idol, performer, celebrity, whatever you want to call it.”

You nodded, “are you ever going to go back?” Part of you didn’t want him to. Your eyes just watched him as he shrugged and looked away from you.

                “Not for a while…” He mumbled, then made eye contact with you, “so you’ll be bothered by me for a long time.” Jinnie smiled at you which you gladly returned to him.

                “I look forward to it.”

                                                                                ~+~

The next week on his birthday you showed up at his home in the early morning, you were surprised that he was already up. Sometimes you noticed you had to grab the key under his mat and get him out of bed.

                “Good morning, Y/n!” He said in a sing song voice, you noticed his basket was packed full of things.

                “Good morning, Jinnie!” You grabbed the pumpkin bread from behind your back, “happy birthday!”

You saw his eyes light up and he grabbed the bread, smelling it. After, he set it down and pulled you in a hug, “thank you!”

When he pulled away, he put his hands on your shoulders, “you’re free today right?”

                “Yes, I called off for your birthday.” You smiled brightly up at him.

Jinnie clasped his hands together, “perfect!” He quickly rushed to his basket and put the bread in, “we are going for a walk!”

                “Right now?” You questioned.

                “Yes!” He grabbed his basket and your hand, “we need to pick up your art supplies!”

After the pitstop at your home, you two went on your way.

                “It’s your birthday I should be surprising you!” You walked and swayed your bag back and forth. He giggled and copied your actions.

                “Well, this is how I want to spend my birthday.” Jinnie said, he led the way, walking in front of you. He would steal glances at you as you two walked.

                “Where are we heading?” You were so curious as to where your mysterious neighbor, companion, friend, was leading you.

                “You never fail to be so curious.” His voice was warm.

                “Welllllllll!” You continuously swung your bag back and forth.

Jinnie turned around to look at you and turned his head, there was something in his eyes you couldn’t pinpoint, “do you trust me?” He asked.

You nodded your head, “yes I do.”

                “Perfect.” He grabbed your hand and continued to lead you. You really tried not to get nervous, then your hand would become sweaty.

He started to lead you to the back side of the neighborhood, you decided to keep asking him questions.

                “Is thiiiis… A nice place we’re going to?”

                “Of course, it’s nice, I’m actually surprised that you haven’t been here.” He spoke.

You looked at him, “I don’t usually go this way. Can you still dance for me.”

Jinnie giggled, “yes Y/n.”

                “Sing?”

                “Yes, Y/n only for you.”

You started to swing your hands back and forth, you two were walking next to each other now.

                “Okay we are getting close so close your eyes.” Jinnie said excitedly.

Your eyes closed and you couldn’t help but smile, you let him guide you deeper into the trees. Your feet almost betrayed you a couple of times, with the rock and loose dirt, but he caught you and just held onto you tighter. You felt his warm hands on your arms then they covered your eyes.

                “No peeking.” He said, you let a giggle out.

                “I’m not peeking!”

                “Suuuure.” He teased.

In the next minute he took his hands off your face, “okay wait here.” You heard him giggling and shifting around.

                “I have to get cushions down n stuff.” He explained, “keep your eyes closed!”

                “I am! I am! I promise.” You covered your own eyes. You heard him shuffle around more until finally.

                “Okay open!”

When you opened your eyes you were met with a beautiful scenic lake, and Jinnie was standing there with a ‘well?’ stance.

                “I found this place a little while ago while getting lost to the town, total opposite direction. But it was worth it.” He jogged up to you, “plus it’s perfect to paint.”

You never really had someone be this thoughtful in years, let alone someone who wants to take care of you just because. It was hard to not get a little emotional.

                “Wow…” You breathed.

                “Perfect right?!” He grabbed your hand and sat you down on the cushion. He pulled out the canvases and paints.

                “Just try to paint it, I want to see you do it. Not how I do it.” He said and sat down next to you. You nodded, still in awe about this whole thing. You took out your brushes and started to paint, this time you felt eyes on you. You weren’t watching him paint; he was observing you now.

                “You’re making me nervous.” You spoke just above a whisper.

                “You do this to me all the time.” Jinnie leaned closer to you, you could feel his breath on you.

                “Does it make you nervous?” Your eyes kept going back and forth from the view to your canvas. You kept your stomach erupt in butterflies when he leaned even closer to you.

                “Yeah, it does.” Jinnie said, “you’re doing great by the way, I don’t see why you need my help with this.” He continued to watch you paint in silence, you were about halfway done.

                “Did you even need my help?” Jinnie teased.

You whipped your head over to him and bumped your face with his, he started giggling almost manically.

                “What?” You questioned him, waving the paintbrush, you ended up splattering paint on him. Now both of you were laughing.

                “You know what!” He grabbed a brush and started whipping paint at you too. You two started to battle with paintbrushes. The different color droplets started to spray everywhere.

                “Ah! Jinnie!” You grabbed a glob of blue acrylic paint and whipped it at him, he retaliated by grabbing yellow paint. At some point you two were chasing after each other.

                “Get back here!” Jinnie said, you turned around and saw he was right behind you. You yelped and started to run backwards right into the lake. Jinnie started laughing at you now that you were soaked. But when he skidded at the edge of the lake, he slipped on the mud. His body landed right next to yours with a splash. His head peaked out of the water, his hair everywhere. The water droplets mixing with the paint that stained his face. You didn’t know how he could look more beautiful.

                “Look who’s laughing now.” You teased him. His large hand splashed water at you. You gasped and splashed water back at him. You both eventually stood up still splashing water at each other. You started to try and wade away from him, still laughing. You made it out of the water and kept running.

                “Y/nnnnn!” He whined, you turned around and taunted him. You closed your eyes and stuck your tongue out. Before you knew it, he was dragging you back into the lake. You were yelping and laughing.

                “Jiiiinniee!”

                                                SPLASH

When you opened your eyes, you saw he was right on top of you, “whoops I fell in too.”

                “You schmo!” You laughed, closing your eyes again, and tilted your head back, letting the lake soak your hair.

                “Schmo?!” He grabbed your shoulders and lightly shook you, your giggles escaping you. When you opened your eyes again your hair was partially blocking your view. But once again you were met with his eyes staring back at you with that far off look he had earlier. Jinnie smiled at you like you were a warm cup of coffee on the coldest day of the year. His hand, still dripping with the lake water brushed your hair out of your eyes.

                “Tu es belle (beautiful girl).” Jinnie whispered under his breath.

                “Where did you learn that?” You whispered back, his hand cupped your cheek.

                “Picked up stuff from Gram.” His eyes never left yours, “she wanted me to know how to compliment you, to woo you per say… I intend to do so. Is it working?”

                “Oui.” You grinned at him and tilted your head back again, partially because you didn’t want him to see your flustered face. Your face burned when you felt his soft lips touch your cheek; your breath hitched, and you looked up at him.

                “Was that too much?” He asked his voice wavering slightly, one of his hands still held onto your waist and to the side of your face.

                “It wasn’t enough.” You put your hands on his cheeks and kissed him. He jumped a bit before quickly melting into your touch.

                                                                                                ~+~

                “I think that this piece is better than any of my landscapes.”

You looked at the painting you created which was now hung on his wall, “you helped create it.”

                “The paint splatters really do add to the landscape, don’t they?” Jinnie placed his hands on your waist, “definitely my favorite birthday present, this year.”

                “I’m glad this birthday was good for you.” You grinned up at him and tackled him into a hug. He started laughing.

                “You made it better.” He kissed your forehead.

                “Walk with me to school tomorrow?” You questioned.

                “Mmmm I’d have to check my schedule… I think I only have a rose bush to nurture with a gorgeous girl in the afternoon… Yeah, I can fit you in for a walk in the morning.”

                                                                                                ~+~

The next few weeks were peaceful, you and Jinnie’s routine became a part of your lives. He started to sleep over often, and you would sleep over at his home frequently as well. Your favorite thing to do with him was cook, sometimes he would sway with you while the pasta boiled. He would softly spin you while the bread needed to rise. Jinnie was a dream come true in your world. Your heart never felt so safe with anyone before. Life was simple and you two cherished that. The way he would look at you with love and adoration in his eyes is something you will always cherish.

Now you were painting in the living room of his home, he was picking up groceries so you two could bake together for Gram. You bit the end of the wood on your paintbrush, a sick habit you have developed over time. One Jinnie would giggle at.

                “My intended I’m home!” He called from the door, you quickly hopped up and followed his voice. There he was in all his glory, with his basket overflowing with groceries. You grinned and practically jumped in his arms. Jinnie yelped and then returned your giggles.

                “Miss me?”

                “Always.” You pulled away and led him to his kitchen. You helped him put away groceries and started to set up for the now weekly bread. Gram was very happy about this.

                “Oh, I also picked something up from the back of the market.” Jinnie sprung up and walked back outside, the way he sauntered always made you smile. He made you smile, especially when he came back from outside with this giant box.

                “This guy at the back of the market was selling things, and I noticed on your bookshelf you have a lot of old golden spine books at the top of your shelf.” He spoke excitedly, you honestly forgot about those old children’s books at the top, your main priority now was the old art books. Jinnie set the box on the counter, “the guy I think said that he had no idea if it still works, but! Even if it doesn’t maybe you could take the cases and make a collage.”

You opened up the big box and saw a ton of old VHS tapes, with a player to watch them. You saw old films from the 90s that ranged from The Titanic to old Disney Princess movies. Your eyes lit up, before you left home you had an obsession with movies of any kind. Your obsession slowed down when you moved here.

                “Jinnie what about a TV?” You looked up, questioning him.

He gave you a toothy grin, “when I first bought this house he mentioned a REALLY old TV in the attic. If it doesn’t work, we can just take a trip to the next town over.”

Once again, your eyes lit up, “Jinnie!” You hugged him again and he smiled into your neck.

                “I figured it would be nice to watch movies other than art documentaries in class, not that I don’t love them.” He mumbled, still holding onto you as if you would disappear any minute, “I also picked something else up.” He pulled away from you and pulled something out of his pocket, it was a small gold necklace, with a rose adorned on the front.

                “Jinnie…!” Your breath hitched.

He spun you around and placed the necklace on you, “he was also selling antique jewelry, he discounted it for me. It reminds me of the rosebush that’s now blooming outside of my house. All because of you.”

You turned around and hugged him tightly. Hwang Hyunjin was everything you wanted in a partner...

                “You’re so thoughtful.” You pulled away from him, looking at him with stars, “we can set up the movie night tonight and thank you so much for the necklace! Now! Gram has some bread to be made!”

Jinnie nodded with the same dreamy look and you two started baking up a storm. Gram was very happy seeing you two spend so much time together. You noticed how overtime Jinnie really did pay so close attention to her stories. He loved them, especially the love stories. Part of him didn’t seem real to you. When you two parted ways from Gram she gave you and Jinnie a hug and you two walked back across the street.

                “You seem to pay more attention to me than Gram now.” He teased, opening his door. You huffed as he let you in first.

                “I can’t help it, you’re cute when you’re enthralled in something.” You spun around.

Jinnie chuckled, “I’ll set everything up, do you want to maaaaybe plate some fruit and bread for us pleaaaase.”

                “Didn’t you just have my pumpkin bread at Grams?” Your eyes teased him. Jinnie whined and you quickly gave in. You skipped into the kitchen and started to make a snack, it was getting late and you assumed you were sleeping here so you sidetracked into his room. Looking around you found your set of pajamas that you kept at his home. Then you skipped back into the kitchen and finished plating your guy’s food. From the room you heard him curse slightly, you walked in and set the plates on the coffee table. Squatting by him you softly rubbed his back.

                “Want tea too?”

Jinnie nodded, his brows furrowed. You could tell he was determined to make this movie night work. It was something you really loved about him; he would try. You were never used to men like this growing up. You happily started the kettle and made tea.

                “MY DEAREST INTENDED!” He started running into the kitchen, “I did it! I did it!”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “Are you sure you want to go through the chest?” He asked as you knelt at the foot of your bed, you took a deep breath and nodded.

                “I think it’s time, plus I might’ve stole a couple photo albums, you’ll get to see baby me.”

Jinnie grinned at this and you unlocked the big trunk, it was like how you left it two years ago, almost three. You had an old sweater, joggers, your backpack, laptop, phone, everything.

                “Woah.” Jinnie said and started digging through the trunk of stuff. He was really looking for the small photo albums. You took out your phone and laptop, tossing them aside.

                “I totally forgot I packed this.” You giggled as you picked up a copy of The Shining.

                “Are you a Stephen King fan?” He mumbled, still looking for the photos of your past. You hummed.

                “I was, then I read IT and got weirded out.”

You heard Jinnie laugh, then he pulled out something from your backpack, “a Taylor Swift CD?”

                “I WAS LIKE 19!” You retorted; he started giggling more.

                “I prefer Lana Del Rey, but I can enjoy Taylor Swift.” He teased you, then he finally found what he was looking for. The small old photo albums.

Your body curled up next to him as you pointed out various family members, he listened intently. You thought going through this old trunk was going to be horrible, but with Jinnie, it wasn’t. He asked questions about your family and you happily answered them laughing or with stories that were stored in your memories. You even got reminded of some stuff. If something sparked a story in Jinnie he would tell it to you as well.

                “You’d love my mom.” Jinnie said and giggled at your baby photos.

                “I think my mom would love you, my dad is hard to win over though.”

Jinnie chuckled then looked at you with a serious look, “do you think we will ever see them again? Or even get to meet them?”

                “God, I hope so…” Your voice was quiet. You wanted so badly to introduce Hyunjin to your parents. You know they would love him and be so happy for you. He is everything your parents wanted for you. Respectful, smart, charming, they have always wanted that for you. Now that you have it, you want them so badly to see you this happy. They would be proud of you.

                “I think we will get to meet each other’s families.” Jinnie spoke suddenly. You looked at him.

                “You think?” Now you were fully pulled out of your thoughts.

Jinnie nodded, his hair falling in front of his eyes, which you pushed softly away.

                “I know we will get to. You are my intended after all.”

                                                                                                ~+~

You ended up being right about Mr. W scouting Jinnie for the next exhibit in Paris.

                “Jinnie you have to except it.” You paced back and forth, your feet pittering and pattering on the old wood.

                “Y/n I don’t know. Don’t you think that’ll bring too much attention to me?” You two were currently talking about whether or not he should take it. At this point the semester was nearly over, and that means the Paris trip would be soon. You knelt by him on the couch.

                “You could always do a fake name… Maybe cover your face…” You looked up at him, “Jinnie this is really big for your art.”

He looked conflicted, “if that doesn’t work then what am I going to do? Go back and leave you here? I can’t do that…”

                “You’re worried about having to leave me?” You leaned your head on his knee, he caressed your cheek. His fingers drifted to the necklace he gave you weeks ago. You seemed to only take it off while you bathed. Not that he paid attention to that or anything.

                “Of course, I am, I know I wouldn’t have a choice if I was found out.”

                “Hyunjin…” You stood up and sat next to him, his hair had grown out more and he had the same scared dog look to him again. Just like he did when you first met him.

                “Y/n, I don’t know what I would do, I know I sound crazy and I know it hasn’t been that long, I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and I know I romanticize every little thing, I can’t just- I-“

You put your hand in his, “it’s okay Jinnie. We aren’t at that yet, and that might not even happen.”

He nodded and took a deep breath, “I’ll explain my situation to Mr. W. Tell him my conditions and then we will go from there.”

                Your lips curved into a smile, and you kissed his cheek, “I’m so proud of you, Hyunjin, even if you decide not to go.”

Jinnie looked at you and he looked more relaxed, he squeezed your hand, “I love you so much.”

You had to force your brain to not make your tears flow, “I love you more.”

                “I’ll talk to him tomorrow after class,” he stood up, “I want you to come with me if I go to Paris.”

Jinnie pulled you with him, your body crashed into his and he held you.

                “You do?” Your eyes loved the sight of him.

                “I do.” He lifted both of your hands on his shoulders and put his on your waist, “I know you have work but-“

                “I want to go with you, I want to support you. I’d go anywhere with you.”

Jinnie smiled warmly at you, “I’ll have to hold you to that.”

                “You still have to sing to me.” Your eyes playfully narrowed at him, he huffed and swayed you two.

                “I sing to you all the time, it’s not my fault you’re always already asleep.” He gave you a funny look back. You pretended to be offended.

                “No fair! Sing me to sleep tonight!” You said, he giggled and spun you. You ended up crashing into him.

                “Say please my intended.”

You looked up at him, “please sing me to sleep tonight.”

Jinnie kissed you softly, you kissed him back and whined a bit when he pulled away, “as you wish.”

                                                                                ~+~

The next morning on the walk to school Jinnie really took in his surroundings like it would be the last time to. It really scared you. He wouldn’t get out of bed until you two absolutely had to. He wouldn’t let go of you while you cooked breakfast, and he wanted you to stay in the kitchen when he prepped your guys’ lunch.

                “Jinnie are you okay?” You noticed how he really was looking at the sunrise on the hill. He looked at you and sighed.

                “I’m just preparing for the worst.”

You were worried about him, “Jinnie, I know what I said but if you really don’t want to do this-“

                “My love, I’ve always wanted to have my art in an exhibit, and- and you’re right. I need to at least try. Maybe he won’t even care that I want to go by another name. That’s pretty normal for artists.”

                “That is true…” You nodded and mumbled, “but what if he looks up your legal name?”

                “I don’t think he will.” Jinnie said, “at least I really hope not.”

When you two finally made it to school you noticed how he didn’t let go of your hand. Usually he would, you both decided to only tell Gram about your relationship.

                “It’ll be okay Hyunjin…” You said to him, he nodded and walked into class first, finally letting go. You quickly followed after him. The whole time you could tell he wasn’t paying attention, his leg would bounce, and his brush would shake before it hit the canvas. It really hurt your heart to see him like this. You didn’t know what to do about this. He wanted this but his past life was still holding him hostage. No matter what though, you were determined to be there for him.

Chapter 4: Broken Trust

After class you waited for Jinnie to stop talking to Mr. W, you picked at your fingernails trying to calm yourself down. Seeing how nervous he was made you feel like throwing up. Taking a deep breath, you leaned your head back against the wall.

                “It’ll be okay…” You mumbled to yourself. Your eyes closed and you tried to calm yourself down. Part of you knew Jinnie had to go back at some point, even you had to go back at some point. You just hope that maybe it would be you two together going back and facing what you both left. You should really call your parents soon… Your eyes shot open, and you stood up when the door opened. Jinnie smiled at Mr. W and wished him a good day. Then he turned to you.

                “He is totally okay with it.” Jinnie beamed at you and hugged you tightly, “I really want you to come with me.”

Your giggles started when you felt his hair tickle your face, “I will be there.”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “I want to call my parents.” You said to him a couple days later. He looked up from his plate with wide eyes.

                “Are you sure?” Jinnie asked, his mouth full, eyes still wide.

You swallowed hard and nodded, “I’m sure. I think they need to know that I’m okay, all I left them was a note saying I’d be back soon. I feel guilty about it.”

Jinnie nodded, “do you want me to be next to you when you call?”

                “Please. I know it’s sort of a lot to ask but- “

He grabbed your hand from across the table, “nothing is too much for you to ask of me.”

Your nerves calmed and you nodded, “thank you Jinnie.”

                “You’re most welcome, my intended.”

After dinner you two sat on the floor, your landline phone and your actual cell phone next to each other. The plan was, if the landline didn’t get an answer, then it was a last resort to turn on your old cell phone and call.

                “Are you nervous?” Jinnie asked as he sat cross-legged in front of you. Your shoulders shrugged.

                “What if they get mad at me? What if they hate me for leaving?”

Hyunjin took a deep breath, “did they know what was going on?”

You nodded softly, “my dad even went to the court room, he stayed outside but he knew what was going on.”

                “I don’t think they will be mad.” Hyunjin lightly pushed the phone towards you. You took a deep breath and started to dial. Your hands shook and Hyunjin held your free hand.

                Brrrr brrrr brr- click

                “Hello?” It was your dad’s voice, you felt that feeling in your throat. You were choked up. You froze. Hyunjin mustve sensed this because he tried to get you back to reality asap.

                “Dad?” You said quickly, thankful Hyunjin snapped you out of it.

                “If this is some joke, I don’t think this is very fucking funny.” Your father’s voice was stern, just as you remembered it.

                “No-No it’s me. Y/n L/n, it’s me, your kid, the one who used to eat the dead flies off the bay window.” You spoke quickly, you saw Jinnie give you a funny look. He was trying to not laugh or make fun of you in this moment.

                “Y/N!” Your dad sounded relieved to hear your voice, “I-I’m so glad you’re okay… We didn’t know when you were going to come back, and you never answered any calls.”

                “I know… I’m really sorry, I was stupid and thought everything was going to be safer if I left.” You spoke softly.

Your dad let out a sigh, “Kiddo, your heart was in the right place… Home is safe now, we moved, and the door is always open for you.”

Your eyes started to water, “you guys moved?”

                “Yeah, a couple months after you left, we figured you left because of the situation, some people were saying that he finally- I don’t even want to get into it.” There was a pain in his voice.

                “I’m so sorry. I feel like it was my fault, I still feel like if I didn’t- “

Your dad interrupted you, “Y/n. Nothing was your fault.”

The tears fell and you covered your mouth, choking on a sob, you heard your dad tell you to breathe. Something that when you were a teenager, he had to tell you quite often. You were almost an exact copy of him, he knew how bad it could get. You missed this familiarity.

                “I’m sorry.” You repeated.

                “It’s okay, I promise. I will give you our new address, visit whenever you want. Please call whenever you want. I know you probably don’t want to disclose where you are and that’s okay. I’m just so happy you aren’t dead.”

Your father gave you the new address and you wrote it down. After catching up a bit, the call ended. Jinnie stayed by your side the entire time, he read his book and held your hand. When the call was finished, he softly set the book down.

                “How do you feel?”

You tackled him in a hug on the couch, “I’m so happy Hyunjin!”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “Okay Y/n is everything packed?” Jinnie asked, you nodded. After you called your dad, Jinnie figured going on a nice weekend trip would help with the heaviness of the past couple weeks. He didn’t tell you where you guys were going, but you trusted him with everything.

                “Can you pleaaase tell me?” You asked as you two walked to the town for the millionth time. He started to pack your bags in the rental car.

                “No, it’s a surprise.” He evilly giggled. You whined.

                “Can you give me a hint?” You leaned against the car.

Jinnie looked at you with his hand on his hip, “no.”

                “Have I been there before?”

He rolled his eyes and pecked your lips, “I really hope not.” He closed the trunk and you two started your drive.

                “I haven’t been in a car in forever.” You mumbled looking around the interior. Jinnie laughed a little and kept his eyes on the road.

                “Don’t get carsick, it’s sort of a long ride.”

You hummed and nodded, “Jinnie?”

                “Yes, my intended?”

                “Are you excited for the Paris exhibit?”

Your eyes watched as his toothy grin formed, “yes Y/n I’m ecstatic.”

                “Good!” You smiled, matching his grin.

As the car ride carried on, you started to doze off. Jinnie said it was okay if you fell asleep, so you let yourself doze off. When you woke, you were still driving, so you fell asleep again.

                “I have to get gas; do you have to use the restroom or anything?” He shook you softly awake. You stirred and looked at him sleepily. His smile at you warmed. He looked at you as if you were a warm blanket after a long day outside during the coldest of winters.

                “Mmm I’m hungry…” You mumbled and took off your seatbelt.

                “Okay let me gas up and I will go in with you.”

You nodded and waited for him, after he fed the car, he parked in the lot and opened your door for you. Your hand found his and you two walked to the little convenience store. When your eyes landed on all the snacks and things they practically sparkled. You hadn’t seen stuff like this for years.

                “Jinnie! Look!” You pulled him to the sunglasses. You grabbed a pair and put one on, “do these look nice?”

                “Hmmmm, try these ones.” He said and switched them out. You giggled as he put them on your face, after adjusting them and looking into the mirror you nodded. They were circular and red, very old fashioned.

                “I like these!”

Jinnie helped you to get some snacks and he paid for them, much to your dismay. Before you knew it, you two were on the road again.

                “We are almost there I promise, I know we have been driving for a few hours…” Jinnie mumbled and glanced at you. You sat there munching on some snacks in your new sunglasses.

                “Okay Jinnie.” You smiled and took another bite.

He wasn’t wrong, you two were almost there, at some point when the mountain road cleared your eyes met the blue ocean.

                “Oh my god!” You practically jumped out of your seat.

                “Nice way to kick off the summer?” He asked.

You turned to him, your hair a mess, sunglasses slanted, clothes disheveled, “YES!”

Jinnie smiled and started toward the small home he rented for the weekend. It was a walk from the beach and right when he stopped the car you started running toward the water. You craved the warm sand on your toes and the cold water on your skin. Your feet didn’t stop until you jumped into the water, clothes and all. You saw Jinnie laughing and jogging after you. He always looked like a dream, someone so perfect could only be in your imagination. Yet… Here he was. He wasn’t imaginary, he was just perfect in your eyes.

                “This is amazing!” You laughed and waved your new shades back and forth. Jinnie stood by the water letting it hit his feet. You noticed how he was taking it all in as well.

                “I know we have to take a trip to Paris next week, but I thought that this would be a nice way to relax before things get busy again.”

You jumped out of the water and hugged him, getting him, all soaked from the ocean.

                “Ah!” He jumped and tried to get out of your grip.

                “Jiiiiinnnnie!” You whined and looked up at him, his eyes softened, and he kissed you. Perfect, you caught him off guard and you threw both of your bodies into the water. Just like back at home in the lake, where he kissed you the first time. His laughter rang through your ears, you didn’t think you would ever get tired of hearing his laughter. Jinnie’s crazy, loud, stupid laughter. It could make symphonies jealous.

                                                                                                ~+~

You two laid in bed with the balcony doors open. The moon shone in, illuminated the room in a pale blue. Almost like the room’s saturation was turned down. The ocean waves could be heard, sometimes the breeze would move the curtains. You laid there playing with his hair, you took in every mole and every imperfection. To you though, the imperfections is what made him human. It’s what made him your intended, just as you were his.

                “I need to get it cut before the exhibit.” He mumbled into your arm.

                “My boss at the bookstore used to trim mine.” You whispered. Hyunjin nodded.

He slowly opened his eyes; he was so beautiful inside and out. Yeah, sometimes he was a little odd, memories flashed in your head. Sometimes he would chase the birds on the way home from class, other times you noticed he just wanted to watch movies to cry. Hyunjin was one of a kind in your eyes, he was caring and compassionate. No other person compared to his kindness. No other person compared to his uniqueness in general.

                “Do you know why I call you my intended?” He asked and his hand found its way to your cheek. Your mouth curved slightly.

                “Why is that?”

                “I intend to stay with you. No matter what.” He softly kissed your cheek.

Your breath hitched, “you think I’m worth that?”

                “You’re worth more than anything, that’s why I spoil you so. You deserve it, you deserve everything. I want to be the one to give you that happy ending.” Hyunjin pulled away from you, eyes locking, “you have made this the best few months I have had in a while. You gave me hope that my childish fantasies of love were true. I am so glad I found that my hopes are within you.”

                “I want a happy ending with you.” You breathed, he smiled at you.

                “What kind of ending?”

You leaned on your back now, “I dunno, maybe one where we are all old and sometimes gross,” you heard him laugh before you continued, “maybe have a nicer home somewhere else, one where we own it together.” You turned to him, “maybe even get a dog or cat. No birds though, you’d chase it away.”

You felt his lips on yours, “it sounds perfect.”

                “What about…?” You looked at him.

                “Hmm?” Hyunjin asked, shuffling under the blankets.

                “What about your family?”

Hyunjin’s face fell a bit before going back to a lovestruck look, “I will have to go home at some point, but I will always come back to you. I promise.” He kissed your hand.

                “I love you, Hyunjin.”

                “I love you most, my intended.”

                                                                                ~+~

On the car ride home, you felt yourself getting really carsick, like REALLY carsick. The previous day you two ate at some seafood place and it was not agreeing with your stomach. In the morning you threw up the fish and Jinnie had to watch over you. He made jokes with made you laugh. It wasn’t all bad. You learned that even if he got grossed out, he would still be there.

You two stopped at the gas station once more and this time he bought a matching pair of sunglasses, just to make you smile. Everything felt too good to be true. When you two got home, it felt right to be home with him. Everything felt so perfect with him. He led you to your room and straight to your bathroom. You had to bathe after that long car ride. Jinnie helped you wash up and it was the most vulnerable you have ever been around another human. It opened your world to what you were missing. After what happened you tended to close your world heavily. You didn’t want to love when you didn’t know what love even was. Now you do.

                “My intended, I am going to grab some clean clothes from my house. Lay down here, do you need anything while I am away?” He set you down by the bed, your wet hair soaking the pillow.

                “I’m okay.” You smiled up at him, he looked down at you, eyes full of adoration. Jinnie nodded and headed out of the door. You started to fade in and out of consciousness. The drive and the food poisoning were really hitting you. You were tired, exhausted even.

At some point, you faded awake and you felt Hyunjin lay next to you, he held you tighter than usual. Your neck felt wet, but you just assumed that he showered or something. Your body just turned more into him, you let him hold you. His breathing was staggered and you would have asked if he was okay, if your own body wasn’t on shut down.

                “I love you so much, please know that.”

~*~

The next morning you woke up feeling so much better. The sickness was out of your system, you could hear the birds in the morning. The light shown in your curtains, it felt perfect. You got up thinking Jinnie was making breakfast, skipping in the kitchen you noticed that there was a plate of food. But no Jinnie. Your brows furrowed and you looked at the scene in front of you. The plate of seasoned potatoes and eggs, his sketchbook, and a note.             

                           Y/n, I don’t even know how to start this, I guess I should just explain when I got back to my house to pick up my clothes one of my old friends was there, he started bawling and hugging me when he finally saw me again he started saying how they looked for me everywhere, even though they weren’t technically allowed to, he said that Mr. W ratted me out to JYP. That is the company I am signed to. He ratted me out Y/n, and they came to pick me up. Apparently, I am allowed to work again. They paid Mr. W handsomely to give them My location, and he did.

Your eyes started to well up, you knew he was too good to be true. You took a deep breath and continued to read.

                               I didn’t want to leave; I told my friend I didn’t. But when I was about to walk out toward your house, the rest of my friends were there too. Some of the strongest people I know were crying when they saw me. People who usually don’t hug me, hugged me. I wanted to wake you up. Take you with me, I wanted you to always be in my world. But I was vetoed quickly. I am so sorry that I have to leave like this. When things settle down I promise I will come back for you. I always will. I am leaving you with my sketchbook. I promise Y/n, I promise you my Intended. I will be back. I am so very much in love with you.

-Your Intended forever, Jinnie.

Originally, you felt sad. Now a wave of anger washed over you. You put on your shoes and ran out, it was Monday, you were supposed to leave for France with Jinnie today. That wasn’t going to happen because of someone whom you looked up to. And for what? Money.

Your feet led you to the school, anger was an understatement. You slammed open the school door and stormed into the classroom. Mr. W stood there, looking at you with a shocked expression. He clearly wasn’t expecting you so early.

                “What is wrong with you!?” You yelled.

                “His friends were looking for him Y/n.” Your mentor said simply, “I did the right thing.”

                “You did the right thing for MONEY!” Your voice still raised, “I am going to the exhibit fucking alone, I am taking his work WITH me.” You started grabbing all of Hyunjin’s canvases.

                “Hyunjin was going to go back eventually when he HEALED, you sold him out because of your own selfish wants and needs.” You spoke with a lace of venom in your tone.

Mr. W scoffed, “again Y/n he was going to go back eventually, they needed to know where he was, I just delivered. And how on Earth are you going to do this without me? I taught you everything you know. You are supposed to take my position here.” You did not like when men talked to you like this.

                “I went to the exhibit last year, and I think if I explained how you sold out the artist picked this year, they will fucking understand why you aren’t there to join me. Find another apprentice, I am leaving.”

And that you did, you meant what you said. The driver that was going to take you to Paris showed up, Mr. W didn’t meet you at your home like he was supposed to. He was a rat, a selfish waste of space. The driver helped you with Hyunjin’s work and your own work. You might as well try and turn this situation positive. The whole drive there was awkward.

The whole exhibit felt wrong.

It felt like something was missing.

He was missing.

                                                                                                ~*~

Only one good thing came out of it, people liked yours and his work, many people asked to sell his work to them. You declined but sold all your own work. You sold all your possessions through the bookstore manager back at that small French town. You erased your existence there. You settled down in a small abode in the city. In the heart of Paris, you resided. Mr. W got a bad reputation at that school, the poetry teacher told you. She hunted you down after you left. She would give you updates on what was happening. Until eventually she would stop calling. That was the last connection cut from that little French town.

Slowly, your own art got more recognition. A year had passed, and you got popular in the art scene. You could afford more, as much praise as you were getting, you still felt so very empty. Most nights you found yourself looking up above the mantle, your favorite piece. It was priceless to you, your favorite landscape.

You sat on the couch mentally preparing for your next meeting, it was going to discuss the next exhibit location. Taking a deep breath, you leaned back. You finally made a name for yourself but at what cost. It wasn’t even your fault. The world you learned was littered with selfish people. The more meetings, the more people, the more people, the more your optimistic mindset declined. There was never a day that went by where you didn’t miss Hyunjin immensely. You researched him behind the scenes, you kept an eye on him. When he posted on their Instagram that he purchased one of your works, you bawled for days.

Taking another breath you stood up, he knew where to find you, yet he hasn’t. That isn’t on you. Grabbing your things you headed down to the lobby of your apartment. You sat in a boring meeting until someone rushed in, it wasn’t so mindless anymore.

                “I am so sorry, someone literally stole my bike and I had to rush here.” The man was very tall, hair a mess now. His clothing was impeccable. He had a warm drink in his hand, his glasses almost falling off his nose. He quickly walked to his seat, which was next to you.

When the meeting went on you started to get curious of the man next to you. He was attractive, no lie. Your stubborn heart wasn’t going to pine after him though. When the meeting ended and the location of your exhibit was chosen you quickly walked out.

                “Wait!”

You flipped around and saw the man goofily run up to you, “yes…?”

                “I wanted to introduce myself, I absolutely love your work and it took a lot of digging to even get into that meeting.” He fixed his glasses.

                “Oh.” You said simply. The grown man nodded and stuck his hand out.

                “I am Kim Namjoon.”

You smiled and shook his hand, “Y/n.”

You two started to walk together, “so that’s your real name?” He sparked conversation with your closed off demeaner so easily.

                “Yes, you didn’t think my name was actually ‘intended’ did you?” You asked, adjusting your coat. It was cold in the spring, although summer was coming quickly. You could just tell.

Namjoon let out a laugh, another unique laugh. You felt yourself smile softly to yourself.

                “Well, I wasn’t sure. Sometimes people have distinctive names.” He spoke with a tone that was so interesting to you. This Namjoon was an interesting individual.

                “I think your name is nice, I’ve never heard it before.” You spoke. Your bag swung a bit, you looked up at him. Namjoon’s brows furrowed.

                “You haven’t?” He asked.

                “I mean, it could be familiar, but I don’t know. Should I know it?” Your voice was teasing. The banter made Namjoon smile.

                “Well, I was just. I was just in a music industry so it threw me off slightly.” He said quieting his voice.

                “Oh?” You asked.

                “Yeah, I was in a k-pop group. Sometimes I still make music, but the group is only sometimes now. I don’t mind, the space from all of that lets me enjoy other forms of art.”

Your heart got reminded of what it was stolen of.

                “That’s good that you are growing every day.” You said, your tone was cold. A total 180, Namjoon didn’t seem to notice though. As he walked you to your apartment he asked about your work, about you, he made sure you were comfortable.

You ended up letting him in your apartment.

                “So, you were in a k-pop group?” You were curious, “was the company bad in any way?”

Namjoon’s brows furrowed, confused by your question. Also confused by your sudden interest in that part of his life.

                “Well, when I first started yeah it was rough. But then we just started controlling our own little section of the company. So, I am now in charge of what I do.” He spoke, sipping the tea you made for him.

                “Ah…” You sat down at the table with him, you looked out the window at the city. This window of the house barely showed the Eiffel Tower.

                “You are different then how I expected you to be.” Namjoon spoke. You perked up.

                “What is that supposed to mean?”

He let out a laugh, “its not a bad thing, with how dark your work is, part of me expected a very tortured very damaged person. However, looking at you now, I can still see you have a little spark in your eyes.”

Your eyes softened, you really thought that spark was gone from your soul. But if a complete stranger saw it, maybe the spark wasn’t died out completely.

                “You can?” Your voice softened, you didn’t want to cave so easily. However, you felt your walls starting to crumble. When you moved to Paris and started to get popular you were telling men and women left and right to fuck off if they wanted to court you. It was even worse if they TRIED to court you. But Namjoon, he seemed sincere. Your heart dropped when you saw your piece above the mantle. You caved in on yourself. Namjoon picked up on this.

                “Was that too much? I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, you rapidly shook your head no.

                “it’s just been a while since I have sat down with someone like this.” You took a sip of your own tea, “it isn’t bad. Its just something different for me.”

Namjoon nodded, “I am in Paris for about a week, I was actually planning on going to your exhibit because either way I wanted to meet you, but I am ranting, anyways, if you would like to do this more, like sit down and talk.”

You looked up at him and smiled, “I would like that.”

                He was a little awkward, but maybe he was charming you slightly.

                                                                                                ~*~

You two ended up exchanging numbers after he had tea with you that one day, a couple days passed and you two decided to go to a local restaurant down the road. He was going to meet you at your apartment, and you would buzz him up. You put on your makeup and got dressed, back in the small town your clothing was lighter colors. Now you noticed it was all black and navy blue. Dark maroons sometimes littered your wardrobe as well. As you got changed you didn’t see the text reading that Namjoon couldn’t make it today. When your door buzzed you let whoever was here, up. When there was a knock at the door you rushed over, your long black dress flowing as much as it could with your long cardigan over it. You slipped your heels on and opened the door.

                “Jinnie- “

Chapter 5: I’m Sorry, I’m Late

“Jinnie-“your voice got caught in your throat. There he was, in front of you. His hair was different, but the curves of his face and his moles were exactly where you remembered him. You tried to draw him many times over the past year; you could never perfect him.

                “I’m sorry, I’m late.” He spoke, his voice was just as you remembered it. God…

In a shock to yourself your face contorted, “late for what Hyunjin.” Your cold voice stunned you.

                “I had a feeling you would be upset with me.” His voice was calm, he looked somewhat different, his hair was blond and long. It was a total 180 from the short choppy dark hair of Jinnie.

                “Can I come in?” he asked softly. You took a deep breath and stepped aside. He walked in, his clothes were different too. More chic, he looked expensive.

You walked over to your phone to see that Namjoon asked to reschedule, what rotten timing.

                “You still have our piece we made together, over the mantel.” He noted. Your heart wanted to be so mad at him. You were livid, he had left for a year, no words, no letters, nothing. Hyunjin just watched you from afar as you did him. It’s not like you had any way to contact him. He could’ve easily contacted you, but he didn’t.

                “Why are you here?” You asked trying to sound stern, it wasn’t real though. When it came to him your heart was on your sleeve. Your cold tortured artist façade now crumbled completely; it always did when your heart missed him.

                “I’m here for your exhibit.” He turned around and looked at you, now leaning on the arm of the couch, “your home is nice.”

                “My exhibit isn’t until a few days.” Your voice once again slightly quivering. You felt your posture stiffen.

                “I know that.” Hyunjin walked toward you, your eyes weren’t on him, but you could hear his shoes. His now expensive, shiny, pointy, stupidly classy shoes.

You finally gained enough courage to look at him, his brown eyes looking straight into you. The rolls were reversed now, your heart was the scared dog.

                “I said I was late because I heard from the grape vine about Namjoon visiting for your exhibit.”

Your eyes widened, how? It was one day…

                “My friend is friends with Namjoon’s friend. He apparently talks nonstop about you and your work. When Chris, my friend, told me, I came here as soon as possible.” He went to grab your hand and you pushed it away.

                “So, you only came here when you found out someone who has an interest in me was now getting to see me?” Obviously, this hurt you. It felt selfish and that wasn’t the Jinnie you knew.

                “Y/n you know I don’t mean it like that…” Hyunjin’s voice was pained. It broke you a little more knowing it was because of your own words. You walked past him, and you heard his footsteps following you. Whipping around you poked his chest.

                “You didn’t even reach out to me! You bought one of my works second hand! You knew exactly where to find me!” Your voice raised, “I waited for you!”

                “I know you did, and I am so sorry, I got caught up in so many schedules. And it was a lot. My parents missed me, and I missed my friends and the next thing I knew- “

                “And then you have the absolute AUDACITY to come to my home when I just started getting over you!” You backed him to the edge of the couch again.

Hyunjin looked at you with wide eyes, then they trailed down to your neck, “are you sure about that?” His voice was just above a whisper. Your brows furrowed and your hand came up to touch what his eyes were glued to.

                It was the necklace he gave you, in your defense you never take it off. It just became apart of you, just like he did.

                “Don’t think I didn’t notice my works wrapped up under the couch either.” He wasn’t walking on eggshells anymore, he was stomping. Your eye twitched.

                “What do you even want to get out of this Hyunjin!?” You didn’t look at him.

You felt his warm hand softly grab yours, he was back on eggshells again, his grip was as if you were blown glass.

                “I want you just as I always have.”

That was it, there was absolutely no getting over him. Any progress you made in the past year was gone. You looked away from him.

                “Please… Look at me…” He was trying not to cry, “say anything please.”

                “Not even a text? Or a letter?” Your voice broke, the floodgates had opened wetting your face.

Hyunjin wiped your tears as quickly as they leaked out of his favorite pair of eyes, “I tried, I didn’t know what to say. I will admit I am being impulsive and stupid. I shouldn’t have dropped everything the second I heard Namjoon was going to be at your meeting.”

Your brows furrowed again, and you looked up at him, “you dropped everything?”

                “Yes, in a heartbeat, the second Chris told me I booked a plane ticket without telling anyone. I was scared and I couldn’t- I couldn’t let you- “

The anger was back, and you pushed his hands off his face, “you couldn’t let me get over you!?” You turned your back to him and hugged yourself.

                “I couldn’t let someone else have you! Y/n, I messed up so badly. I know I did, I hurt you and left you with a stupid note and I didn’t even think about how much it would hurt you in the morning. I was overwhelmed. I should have visited you right when I knew you were here.” Hyunjin was desperately trying to get you to hear him out. Your heart was in a war between loving him and hating him.

Hating him was fueled by how much you were in love with him.

                “You have until my exhibit, to fix this. To prove to me that you won’t just leave again with a stupid note.” You turned around and his eyes filled with hope. The same hope before yours and his relationship was tainted.

You ended up having to let Hyunjin stay in your guest room, he didn’t book any kind of hotel or anything. He truly just bought a ticket to France, to you. The rest of that day was spent with him walking around your home and taking what you presumed to be mental notes.

Your outing with Namjoon was going to get rescheduled at your exhibit. At this point, your childish heart wanted the entire Earth to stop so you wouldn’t have to be with anyone but Hyunjin. But the adult brain in you told you that Hyunjin needed to prove that he wouldn’t just leave again.

~*~

The next morning you woke up and flipped over, totally forgetting yesterday’s events. When you heard music playing from your living room you got scared. You sprung up and rushed in, no one was in the living room. It was BRIGHT too, usually you have the curtains closed.

When you entered the kitchen, there he was. You weren’t dreaming.

                “Oh, did I wake you?” He turned around, his beautiful face more visible to you now. You mentally thanked the headband he had on.

                “No, I just-“ you didn’t know what to say.

                “I opened your curtains in the living room and in here, you have beautiful views of the city.” Hyunjin smiled at you and set a plate down at your small table, meant for two.

                “You made breakfast?” You asked, eyeing the plate. Your eyes then went up to him, he looked tired, he was still in his pajamas. Hyunjin nodded.

                “I am really jetlagged, so it was hard sleeping. I woke up really early and so I made breakfast.” Even through his drowsiness he smiled for you. You mumbled a thank you and sat down. You saw that he made a really good-looking fruit bowl with oatmeal.

                “I have hard boiled eggs in the fridge too. All picked up this morning. I didn’t want to use your food without permission.” He said and set down spoons and forks for you both.

                “You could have… It’s okay…” Your voice was quiet.

                “Do you have any plans today?” Hyunjin asked you. You took a bite of the fruit in the fruit bowl. He even picked the best fruit for you. You shook your head no.

                “Would you want to take a walk with me today? I was thinking about getting ice cream or a genuine French Crepe.” He took a sip of his tea.

                “Aren’t you worried about being recognized with me? Don’t you have fans?” You took a sip of your tea now.

                “Well, don’t you have fans now?” He slyly smiled at you, “I’ve heard some rumors about you.”

You gave him a look, “what do you mean?”

Hyunjin did one of his eye smiles and giggles, “you know at first, I was a little jealous when I heard that everyone in the art scene wanted to court you.” He sipped his tea and wiggled his eyebrows. You couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped you.

                “Not everyone.” You looked away, “they stopped after a bit.”

Hyunjin set his glass down which got your attention again, “ah of course they did, you gained the reputation of being unobtainable.”

                “Is that what they call me now?” You asked, now taking a spoonful of oatmeal.

                “Maybe, I wouldn’t call you that though.”

                “Confident, are we?” You asked him.

The man in front of you looked at you, a small huff of a laugh coming out of his nose, “maybe.”

~*~

He held the umbrella for you both as you walked down the busy street with him. A scene your heart never thought would come true.

                “Your clothes are darker colors now.” He noted, “they look nice on you.”

You nodded, “thank you, your hair doesn’t look choppy anymore.”

Hyunjin threw his head back and laughed, he almost hit you with the umbrella, “I got scolded and forced to get a haircut, they don’t let me touch it now.”

                “Your work?” You questioned. Hyunjin let out a hum of a yes. You frowned, “doesn’t it bother you…? Being put in a box like that?”

                “Oh, every day, but it’s worth it when I am on stage, dancing, singing, I missed it truly. I got my spark back.” He spoke with stars in his eyes.

                “Well, that’s good then. I am glad your trip helped you appreciate what you have.” You said and pushed your dark sunglasses up again.

                “My return though made me miss dearly what I gained on that trip.” Hyunjin said in a hushed voice, near your ear.

You looked at him, as much as you wanted to fight it, your heart belonged to him. It wasn’t time yet though; your mind was still scared.

                “The café is up there.” Hyunjin broke eye contact with you then led you to the café.

He ended up ordering for you in French, he spoke with confidence. It was a change from the markets in that oh so small town. You both sat outside after he paid.

                “I studied French on my free time when I got back.” Hyunjin spoke and took a bite of his sweet treat.

                “I was wondering how you spoke so confidently.” You sipped your hot coffee; you also picked a strawberry off your plate.

                “It made me think of you.” He spoke and gave you that stupid eye smile. It was almost torture.

You looked away biting back a smile, he was too charming for his own good. The little things he did were too much. It made your heart win the war over your brain.

                “Was the bed warm? In my guest room?” You questioned.

Hyunjin nodded, still smiling at you. He seemed thrilled to just be around you, “mhm!”

                “That’s… That’s actually a relief, I don’t usually have overnight guests.” Your lips curved into a smile. You looked up at him and his head was turned in question.

                “What?” You asked.

                “You don’t have guests?”

You shook your head no, “I don’t have people over like at all. One time my mom visited but that was a few months ago.”

                “You don’t get lonely?”

Your mind filled with memories of you sipping wine by yourself, letting a couple tears slip while the fire was the only thing that warmed your body. Quickly you snapped out of it.

                “No.” Your answer was short, “I did that before didn’t I?” Correction, you did that before you met Hyunjin. Then he opened your world only to leave you on the dark side of the moon.

                “Well, I just thought because your art style changed dramatically. The colors you used were always dark, dark reds, blues, blacks, greys. No more yellow or lavender.” He said simply.

                “Do you study my work?”

Hyunjin smiled again at you, with a knowing look, then he shrugged, “finish your coffee its going to get cold.”

                                                                                                ~*~

The next day he made you breakfast again, this time it was muffins and fruit. He even cut the fruit into little shapes; you know that he specially hand cut each shape due to the fact you didn’t own any kind of food cutters.

                “Good morning!” Hyunjin said cheerfully.

                “Did you rest well?” You asked sitting down, Hyunjin nodded.

                “I slept a lot better than last night; I usually get over jet lag pretty quickly so.” He set your food down and sat down next to you, “I also made peppermint tea this morning.”

                “Thank you…” You felt your face warm and the small butterflies erupted from your chest to your heart.

                “So today, are you busy with anything?” Hyunjin asked, you took a bite of your muffin. It was pumpkin.

                “Did you make these?” You looked at him, it tasted exactly like your pumpkin bread. Hyunjin nodded with a grin.

                “We made it so much that when I had free time, I wrote down the recipe. I used to make it in my dorm whenever I missed you. Let’s just say I gave my friend who actually bakes a run for his money.” He giggled and took a bite of his muffin.

                “That’s… Really sweet of you…” You spoke quietly, you saw Hyunjin smile warmly to himself. Part of you knew he truly does love you as much as you still love him. Your mind was starting to forgive him. Your mind then went to his original question.

                “I only have a small meeting today for the food being served at my exhibit.” You ate some fruit.

                “May I come with you?” Hyunjin asked. Your mind fought it and thought it over. Your heart once again won.

                “I think your insight will help.” Your words came off warm. You saw Hyunjin’s eyes widen a bit at your kind tone, then he smiled.

~*~

Once more he held your umbrella as you two walked, today it was actually raining so you actually needed the covering.

                “I don’t think it will rain the day of your exhibit.” Hyunjin’s feet slapped against the stone streets of Paris.

                “You looked up the weather?” Your eyes looked up at him. Part of him was offended and you can tell.

                “Can you please stop being so surprised that I do the bare minimum?” He looked down at you, he didn’t want to start an argument. As he was a man who preferred to communicate and say his emotions. He could never hold in how he was feeling, and you remembered that. One time you two had a small argument in the small town, he just said how he was feeling.

                “I’m sorry I am just trying to- I don’t even know. You’re right I need to have more faith in you.” You didn’t look at him anymore, “It’s really wrong of me to assume that you are going to do the worse.” You swallowed, you didn’t want to cry. But he was right. Hyunjin sighed and pulled you to the side of the sidewalk, under an awning. The rain was starting to get loud.

                “Y/n you have every right to be cautious of me. I understand what I did and I shouldn’t have just-“

                “Hyunjin…” You looked up at him, “you are right, I need to be more open minded, you were never wrong to me in that small town and you didn’t have a choice to leave. You said so in your note.” You dug through your purse and grabbed your wallet.

                “What’re you…?”

You kept digging until you pulled out his note, the one he left you at your small cottage, “you said yourself you wanted to take me with you, but you were shot down.”

                “You keep it with you…?”

Your eyes looked away from him and to the note that was in your hands, “yes I keep it with me…”

Hyunjin’s hand touched yours and he took a deep breath, “I’m still so sorry.”

                “It’s okay… Again, I know you didn’t have a choice, and I know you were so busy with your life and I started to become busy too and our lives just got so complicated… I need to stop being so cold to you…” Your voice was shaky, and you took a deep breath.”

                “Hey… It’s okay…” Hyunjin’s hand slowly and cautiously went to your cheek. You looked up at him, he smiled at you, “hi.”

Your heart loved the view in front of you and so did your mind, “hi.”

                “Let’s get to the meeting, okay? We don’t want to be late.”

That’s what you two did, you made it in one piece even in the rain. The meeting consisted of different cheese and wine tastings. Hyunjin would giggle at you everytime your face scrunched from the strong wine flavor and you would laugh at him when the cheese he ate tasted bad.

                “You said this one tasted good!” Hyunjin pouted while you were giggling evilly.

                “I thought it tasted great… Maybe your taste buds are broken.” You said smugly.

Hyunjin’s jaw dropped and he looked stunned, “MY taste buds!? You like bad cheese apparently!” He said loudly. You had to quiet him down while laughing. You two got a little tipsy while trying all the wine, you were nowhere near drunk, but you could feel a little buzz. You and Hyunjin were just constantly laughing at everything. In your heart you felt that this was perfect, you could live every day with him if you could. Before you two headed out you both made sure to drink water and have a couple slices of bread. Much to Hyunjin’s excitement.

When you two decided on the little snacks and drinks for your exhibit you two started your walk home, together. The buzz was starting to wear off which was good. Being publicly intoxicated could ruin both your public image, as if being alone together wasn’t enough to stir controversy. That fear wasn’t on either of your minds though, at least not at the moment. You and Hyunjin were both drunk on each other’s company.

                “I cannot believe you made me try that gross cheese!” Hyunjin said as you two walked on the sidewalk. The rain started to clear up, so he didn’t bother opening the umbrella.

                “You tried to get me drunk!” You joked back, Hyunjin dramatically gasped.

                “I would never! You drank the same amount as me!” He placed his hand over his heart. You let out a laugh and through your head back. You missed this so much, you missed him so much. You and Hyunjin exchanged glances at each other as you two walked and talked.

                “You know I wonder how our neighbor is…” You thought to yourself.

                “Gram?” Hyunjin asked and cocked his head to the side.

You nodded and messed with the rings on your fingers, “I still feel guilty for just leaving and selling everything.”

                “I am sure she would understand, maybe we could invite her to your exhibit!” Hyunjin suggested, your eyes lit up.

                “That is such a good idea!” You grinned up at him, Hyunjin gave you a funny but endearing look.

                “I think we should…-“ His voice trailed off and he looked in front of him. Your eyes followed him but before he could figure it out, he pulled you into the alley and started rushing.

                “What is this about?” You felt yourself giggle a little and you let him lead you. You were still in love with him, you couldn’t help it.

                “I think someone recognized one or both of us.” He turned three corners in the small alley and stopped to look around.

                “So, you dragged us into a sketchy ally?” You felt yourself laugh at him, he looked down at you confused and then looked around.

                “I guess I did… I panicked, okay?” You could tell he was a little embarrassed, once again you let a giggle slip out.

                “I just don’t want to have to leave again.” Hyunjin spoke softly, his voice was quiet. Your eyes softened when you looked at him.

                “You think they’d follow you again?” Your curiosity peaked. Hyunjin gave you a look and nodded.

                “Oh yeah, they will follow me to the ends of the Earth. I mean my brothers would, they aren’t actually blood brothers but they are the closest I have to them.” He was rambling, it made you forget you two were in some random alleyway.

                “Will I ever get to meet them?” You looked up at him and leaned against the wall. Hyunjin looked down at you.

                “You want to meet them?”

You nodded, “well of course I would. They’re important to you, are they not?”

                “Yeah… Yeah they are.” Hyunjin’s eyes kept staring into yours. His mind was running a mile a minute. You felt the rain start again, it was only a sprinkle and it felt nice. You looked up still leaning on the wall taking in the nice weather. You could hear Hyunjin breathe through his nose, and you looked up at him again. His brows were furrowed, and he looked frustrated.

                “Are you okay?” You asked, now you were genuinely concerned.

                “Please…” He mumbled, now it was your turn to look confused. The rain started to become heavy again, soaking both of you.

You heard Hyunjin mumble something and then look away.

                “I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you because of the rain.” You spoke.

                “Please let me kiss you again.”

In the middle of the sketchy alleyway, you let him kiss you. The war between your mind and heart was over, they made a truce to love Hyunjin.

And only Hyunjin.

~*~

The next morning you woke up to Hyunjin next to you, he was still sound asleep. Hyunjin looked so peaceful, it was just like when you woke up next to him in that little cottage of yours. Except now you two are older. His face was illuminated by the sun bouncing off your white walls. He was beautiful. You think if you ever spent a year without him again you would be heartbroken forever.

You carefully slipped out of bed, making sure that you wouldn’t wake him. You got up and did your morning routine and called your manager, you had an idea.

                “Hello Miss L/n.” Your manager said cheerfully, “what do I owe the pleasure?” Her voice was always so powerful.

                “Do you remember the first exhibit when my work started to become popular?” You asked as you went through the fridge to make pancakes for you and Hyunjin.

                “Ah yes, the one that was meant for Mr. W’s student Sam. But then Sam couldn’t make it?” Your manager always remembered; it was probably because you paid her to do so but still.

                “Yes, that one, I want to put those pieces out again this next exhibit. I have Hyu- Sam, here with me. I would like him to see his work in an exhibit.” You spoke and started to stir the pancake mix.

                “How kind of you Miss L/n.” You heard her type from the other end, “I will add that to your exhibit and the pamphlet. This afternoon I will send someone over to pick up yours and Mr. Sam’s.”

                “Thank you.”

Your manager started typing again and hummed to herself, “alright, they will be there in the afternoon.”

                “Thank you, Mrs. Jean.”

You said your goodbyes and continued to make breakfast, blueberry pancakes and coffee. Smiling to yourself you started to flip the pancakes. You jumped when you felt arms slowly snake around you.

                “Good morning.” Hyunjin mumbled and buried his head in your shoulder.

                “Morning Jinnie.”

Hyunjin giggled and buried his head more in your shoulder, “I missed that.”

You hummed and he didn’t let go of you while you cooked. You moved to the right, Hyunjin moved to the right. You took a step back, Hyunjin took a step back.

                “Breakfast smells great.” Hyunjin was still very sleepy, you could tell.

                “I am glad, I figured I would make up for you making breakfast the past couple days.” You laughed out of your nose.

                “You don’t have to make anything up for me.” He finally let go of you when the food was done and set.

                “Oh, I have someone coming over today to pick up some artwork for the exhibit. Do you mind running errands?” You asked and sipped your hot coffee. You put creamer in it, Hyunjin didn’t put creamer in his. You took note of that.

He pouted, “why can’t I be here?”

You gave him a look, “Can you please just trust me. Pleaaaase.” You pouted back. Hyunjin groaned and took a bite of his pancake, after he drowned it in syrup, of course.

                “Jinni-“

                “Yes. I can run errands, anything for you.”

Your smile widened and you giggled at how much of a lovesick dork he was. It was hypocritical of you to laugh though, you were the same lovesick dork for him. You always were.

~*~

The day of your exhibit rolled around and you woke Hyunjin up.

                “Get up we have to get ready!” You grinned.

                “My ticket isn’t until 6pm.” Hyunjin rolled over again, his beautiful form facing you. You shook him again.

                “Don’t you want to walk into my exhibit holding hands with me?”

You have never in your life seen someone get ready THAT quickly.

                “Blue or black suit?” Hyunjin asked.

You looked up at him. He had light makeup on and his hair was pulled back in a ponytail, he looked divine already. He could show up in his pajamas and he would look so good.

                “Blue, navy blue.” You said and looked back at your vanity, you were deciding how to do your hair and makeup.

                “Is that because you’re wearing navy blue.” He teased. Your face grew hot.

                “Noooo…” You mumbled, he let out a loud obnoxious laugh that you were in love with.

You finished getting ready and you waited for him by the door, adjusting your hat and sunglasses. As much as wearing sunglasses indoors made you kind of look like an asshole, you became known to do so. You started wearing them at your first exhibit, it was so people couldn’t see you crying over Hyunjin and how you wanted him to be there so badly. You took a deep breath, maybe it was time to ditch the sunglasses.

                “You look beautiful.” Hyunjin said from behind you and looked at you in the mirror, “can we take a photo?”

You nodded and looked up at him, he whipped out his phone and took a mirror selfie with you. He took a few photos, one of him kissing the side of your head, one of him holding you, another one of him actually kissing you. He would have memories and photos of you with him.

                “We are going to be late Jinnie.” You laughed. He nodded and you two headed out to the driver.

~*~

When you two arrived early you talked to your manager and introduced her to Hyunjin. She was very excited to meet this other artist. Just like you, she fell in love with his art too. Mrs. Jean was also clearly scouting for another client. It made you smile with pride. You were always so proud of Hyunjin. They ended up talking about art, thank god your manager kept the surprise. She was clearly trying to sell him on becoming a client, part of you hoped so. That meant he would have to come to Paris more. Which means he could see you more.

Time passed and people started showing up to your shared exhibit. When you walked around and people chatted with you, you saw Hyunjin was chatting with a group of men that you recognized as people from his group. He didn’t look tense around them, and it didn’t seem like he was in too much trouble for running away again.

You sipped on your champagne and grabbed a couple of cheese slices from the table.

                “Good evening.” You looked to your side and saw Namjoon. Uh ohhh. You smiled warmly, trying not to panic. You ended up setting your little cheese plate to the side.

                “Oh! Hi Namjoon!” You were really trying not to panic. I mean you guys didn’t even go out, you had tea with him once.

                “Your exhibit is really beautiful! I am excited to go through the rest of it.” He smiled at you.

                “Thank you, Namjoon that means a lot.” You smiled, he smiled back and before you knew it you felt a hand on your waist.

                “Oh my god I know you.” Hyunjin said and put his hand out, Namjoon shook it.

                “You’re an idol too, right?” Namjoon spoke, “part of that group Stray Kids?”

Hyunjin nodded and shook his hand back, “yes, I am Hyunjin.”

                “Ahhhh yes you are talked about a lot, I have heard your name float around before.” Hyunjin shrugged with a sly smile. You could help but roll your eyes at Hyunjin being childish.

Hyunjin and Namjoon talked a little about work before Namjoon excused himself to look at the rest of the exhibit.

                “I have something to show you.” You grabbed Hyunjin’s hand with your free hand. You set your champagne down. Hyunjin smiled at you and nodded. You led him to the part of your exhibit that was dedicated to him. You saw as his eyes widened and he looked at you then back at his artwork. They were still in pristine condition.

                “You didn’t get to see your work in an exhibit, I wanted to make that up to you.” You said quietly. Hyunjin looked at you like you were the world to him. He was at a loss for words.

                “Do you like it?” You asked, scared you overstepped.

                “Y/n… I love it…” He mumbled, still in shock, “I love you so much. I-“

You watched, heart beating out of your chest as he got down on one knee. Your mouth was agape. He pulled out a small box, the ring shining under the exhibit lights.

                “I was planning to do this after the exhibit but my heart is telling me there is no other perfect time for this. I love you, y/n. I will make up for the time lost for the rest of my life with you. I thought about you every day and I will continue to only think of you every day. I want you to be my future, you already are my everything. My intended. Will you please marry me.”

Maybe you should have worn your sunglasses because you were crying over Jinnie again, but not because of sadness.

                “Yes Jinnie!”

[miyu-writings]

Fairy Tail Reread 2023 part 1

I'll be rambling here about the first book.

I'm getting the hang of this so I apologize for the wonkiness right from the start. 😅

It's been one year since I read the manga so I'll be going into this as if I'd forgotten most of the story, yeah?

Okay, let's get started!!

So, we start with Siegrain and Ultear and the Council and it's pretty ominous. Especially how Fairy Tail is such a thorn in the side.

And then, Natsu and Happy. The introduction of the MC is quite silly because we're being introduced to this character who's totally KO after riding the train. And more silliness ensues. Very lighthearted feeling.

Then Lucy appears. We're introduced to our other MC. She's complaining about the lack of magical stuff at that store. And we're also introduced to another of Mashima's staples, a sleazy chara saying dumb stuff and a female character amping the sexiness to have some leeway or whatever. Not a great thing to say about Mashima if that's how he sees women... Then again, her "wiles" weren't useful here but, hey, the story is started after the short but kind of enough introductory notes about the charas.

Lucy got under the spell of the so called Salamander and I like that she's fighting it, but ultimately she succumbs to it. But is saved by Natsu. The quest for Igneel sure is a long one.

Natsu's face of "who the fuck are you?" cracks me up. And how he's tossed aside by the groupies is also pretty silly. You treat the MC like that, dude?

We're then introduced to another side of Natsu, the glutton. Lucy looks a bit disgusted and, tbh, me too Lucy, me too. And through the conversation we're introduced to the main space, the core of the manga - the guild of Fairy Tail. The conversation flows nicely and it introduces the charas a bit more, with OTT reactions happening too but that does make sense, in context, in some way. Also, the cringe in Lucy was at the top now at the beginning - being in the guild will erode it haha.

Lucy's wish/goal of being part of Fairy Tail puts her in danger but we're still seeing that she sees the warning signs (she didn't drink the wine) and then the veil is lifted about the whole trafficking operation. And Lucy is nearly branded a slave and her keys thrown away but Natsu appears! But the tension was slightly broken due to the silly moment of Natsu's motion sickness but it quickly snapped back to "serious business" mode. Or rather, Lucy's escape and recovery of keys and Aquarius - where we also get another basis to a core relationship - sending everyone to firm land. And now Natsu's jumping to the serious business and, surprise, surprise - he's Natsu from Fairy Tail. The real one.

Ass is kicked and the trio ends up escaping the cops (it's what they are) and going home.

The guild is not boring and makes the guys at the Council stay on their toes, that's what we get from the closing of the chapter.

As a first chapter this does open up a lot of possibilities and has a lot of potential. And then, we're about to step inside the guild and who knows what kind of wonders might come from it...

Chapter 2 & 3 (idk why but it's how it's coming rn)

Lucy's dream comes true. She steps inside Fairy Tail.

It's a different world, inside. And we quickly are introduced to some characters. Yay Gray! And Cana pointing out he's naked. Lucy starts to see that there's something odd in this place. And how her idols are pretty much human.

It's chaos, with everyone fighting. Poor Makarov... his kids do give him huge headaches.

But.

The heart of the story is shown here. Follow their own path, that's how the mages from Fairy Tail go.

And like that Lucy has joined the guild.

We're shown a bit more of Natsu's background and it really is sad, seeing little Natsu so happy with Igneel and then, loss.

Then we have the first mission: find Macao.

Lucy gets to show some more of her magic and the Vulcans are so lecherous, sheesh.

We get to see some fight scenes and here Natsu shows once again that, he can kick ass during battles. He's good at this shit. (Remember that, Mashima? You used to write Natsu like this!) And the moments of silliness again break the tension but the fighting is serious and Natsu kicks ass.

They recover Macao and return home. Family should be reunited.

The chapter ends in a very feel-good way and it's not a bad thing.

Lucy is our narrator and she hopes for good things in the future. It's a nice way to get started on this long adventure.

Chapter 4

One thing I liked about the anime was also how they always introduced Magnolia, the location and the guild of Fairy Tail (and the music is epic). We're kind of welcomed back to this place that we belong. This chapter starts with the location too. Well, Lucy's home, which is an important place too. And Natsu and Happy are hanging there already. The poor girl doesn't know it but her house is nearly their lair now...

We learn a bit more about Lucy and what being a celestial mage entails and basically is. And here's Plue, from Rave Master. I haven't read that (yet, maybe?) but these cameos and silly spirits did kind of disappear later on during the story. Not saying that they aren't there but to me it feels like it's more background stuff. I understand that it was because of the tone of the story, it got more serious. But I don't mind Plue.

Natsu invites Lucy to go with her on a mission. And we learn that this dumbass took a mission that was forbidden to his level.

Natsu, I love you but, you need to reflect more. I totally understand wanting to be challenged by stronger foes but, c'mon. xD

That's how you land yourself in hot water! I totally understand Makarov's stress though. He, like a good parent, wants to protect his family from unnecessary risks and troubles but what to do with such a rowdy and - I'll say it - crazy crowd?? Someone's going to get grounded.

And then, hey there, Gray!

I like Gray smoking. I totally understand that it sets a bad idea for kids because smoking irl is very bad for your health, lung cancer and any cancer whatsoever isn't good. But, Gray smoking to me, speaks of a bit of an oral fixation and, honestly, it connects him to Natsu. As someone who does ship Natsu with Gray, having Gray smoke means a lot. I totally headcanon him as stopping later on but he will fall back to the not-so-great habits in times of stress and turmoil. That's how Gray rolls.

And we're on for the first arc, the one that made me really go "yeah, I like this a lot". The Galuna Island arc!

[mautadite]

january book round up

27 books this month! the most i’ve read in a month in quite some time, and a good start to the year. a couple days late because i’ve been feeling a bit meh. i doubt i’ll be able to read this much at any point this year. but it’s nice to get a good strong head-start on my yearly goal. a mix of audiobooks and e-books so far.

a land so wild - elyssa warkentin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a really lovely epistolary/found media m/m romance story, set during the 1840s, about a ship captain and a naturalist trying to chart a northwest passage in the arctic, and find a ship that was lost five years ago trying to do the same thing. very beautifully told, with lots of emotion that you’d think would be lost because of the mode of storytelling.

how to bang a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a re-read. i remember being very sceptical of this when i first read it, but now that i’ve finished the entire series there’s so much i appreciate about it.

trade me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ my first courtney milan book, after hearing a lot of good things about her. the hype was deserved! i like her writing a lot and this book (a romance between a poor chinese-am daughter of immigrants, and a billionaire heir with an eating disorder) touched on a lot of stuff that you don’t typically see in romance novels. particular what it mean and what it feels like to be poor. this was probably my favourite treatment of billionaires in a novel (at least, ones where they don’t get beheaded).

hold me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the second in the series, equally enjoyable. the hero of this novel has to confront and own up to his sexism in ways that a lot of romance novels would simply let men get away with! if i’d known that that’s part of what the book covered i might not have been enthused to read it, because while i genuinely believe bigoted people can change for the better, i’m not super interested in reading about it. but i really enjoyed how milan wrote it, and the romance was lovely. (also the heroine is trans, nice.)

my lady’s lover - nicola davidson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ not a lot of substance, but it’s historical lesbian romance, which is my eternal catnip. a lady’s maid who’s the member of a society for sexual freedom falls in love with her mistress, and happily discovers that the feelings are returned. there’s sex, some angst, and a happy ending,

a lady’s desire - lily maxton ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another historical f/f romance. pretty low stakes, without much external conflict, but it had good writing and great characters, and i’ll always have a soft spot for childhood friends to lovers. and let’s be real: i mostly picked this up because of the cover. a woman with her head in another lady’s lap, gazing gayly at her? yes, thanks.

rebound remedy - christine d’abo ⭐️⭐️ eh! m/m holiday romance, about a guy who gets dumped before christmas, has a whirlwind rebound romance with his bartender, and then starts falling deeper for him. nothing bad about it, but i just wasn’t feeling the romance. i’ve read shorter stories that had more chemistry and character interaction.

don’t let go - cynthia dane ⭐️ another f/f romance that i got mostly because of the cover, but this one let me down hard. i liked that it was set in taiwan; had a lot of cultural nuance and tidbits that i enjoyed, but everything else, the writing, the editing, and characters, the chemistry... it was a bust. it also had a weird and baffling approach to mental illness, and managed to be yet another book that makes me hate rich people. also... the two authors credited are the pseudonyms of the same person skfjhdfkj ihni why she’s crediting herself twice.

alone - e.j. noyes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ LOVED THIS. f/f mystery/thriller-ish romance, though the mystery aspect is admittedly light. noyes has lovely prose and a good sense of storytelling, but the romance is where this really shone for me. which... idk, i’m aware that it might not be for others who read this book. but something about the way olivia fell so helplessly in love with celeste, everything celeste does to hold on to olivia... it appealed to me on a visceral level.

boystown book 1 - marshall thornton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ three short stories about a gay private eye solving mysteries in the community in the early 1980s. it reminded me of how much i love short form mysteries; there’s just something about stories being told that way that i can’t resist. i was also kind of charmed by the way our main character tripped into bed with a cute twink like every 10 pages. :3

poems i sleep next to - shelby eileen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a collection of contemporary poems. really enjoyable. nothing wowed me, but several poems moved me.

how to talk to nice english girls - gretchen evans ⭐️⭐️⭐️ early 20th century f/f romance between a spirited american heiress and a nice proper english girl. low stakes, character driven. not really character driven enough actually; i felt like they didn’t get to spend enough time knowing each other. and some more external conflict wouldn’t have hurt. but it was hot and fun and well-written.

by his rules - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an m/m romance that looks at abuse in bdsm communities, and spends a good long time on recovery, survival, and healthy relationships that involve kink. i really could not get into the discipline stuff, but i really liked that the main characters worked for their HEA; nothing clicked magically into placed for them, and aiden was given space and resources to work out his trauma.

the wolf and the girl - aster glenn gray ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a retelling of little red riding hood set in early 20th century russia and france that focuses on the friendship between two young women. simple story, very beautifully told.

the secret diaries of anne lister - anne lister ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i started reading this in the middle of last year, after i finished gentleman jack, and i was basically reading snippets at a time until december, and then by january i was eating it all up. i LOVED this. i loved the diary of this at times manipulative, haughty, but kind-hearted and tender and clever woman, and all of her loves and struggles and observations. there’s just something... very good about knowing and seeing that lesbians have always existed, and hearing her first hand accounts is just... GREAT. really looking forward to the next volume.

oh, earthman! - berlynn wohl ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an anthology of short stories. weird, fun, scifi-flavoured m/m erotica.

emma - jane austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ took me long enough, i know! but i really really thoroughly enjoyed my time with this book, especially the audiobook, whose narrator i loved. i loved emma: her cleverness and wit and finesse and all her terrible blunders. though i could tell where the story was going, the getting there was really fun, and i super duper enjoyed the romance (though at one point i got seriously squicked out haha). and fight me: i adored miss bates, i thought she was the best character in the book. LOVE a spinster who don’t know when to shut her trap but is earnest and kind and gentle-hearted and GOOD.

«légendaire.» - kai ashante wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ kaw, i’m begging you, PLEASE write another fell length novel. or novella. please! i love his writing and world-building so so so much, i flip out thinking about it. until he does, these short stories will have to suffice. this was great: everything i love about his writing, revisiting the world and concepts that we’ve seen in his other books, with mesmerising characters and a tragic, but soulful tale.

a conspiracy of truths - alexandra rowland ⭐️⭐️⭐️ i love stories about stories, and as far as that goes, this a pretty good one! the one way it failed to grasp me was on the character front; i just didn’t enjoy the main character as much as i could, or as much as i was meant to, and i felt at times he was too far removed from the plot. basically, chant is a master storyteller travelling in a foreign land, when he’s falsely accused of witchcraft and spying. the novel details how he uses storytelling to get himself out of the pickle, and all the consequences that follow. there are some amazing side characters in this (esp. his apprentice, who i will definitely read the nest book for).

animal farm - george orwell ⭐️⭐️⭐️ felt like rereading this, so i did. and i mean, it’s animal farm! it holds up.

the overdue life of any byler - kelly harms ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ like i said above, i like books about books, and i got this thinking it would be something like that? but it’s more about a single mother who gets the chance to take some time off from her kids and her life, have fun, find romance, and how she deals with managing that, and the guilt, and all the elements that are introduced/reintroduced to her life. i don’t think this is an amazing book, but it’s a lovely one, and i know there are middle aged mothers out there who would benefit from reading it. it’s not about romance (though there’s a cute romance in it); it’s about motherhood and being there for yourself as much as your kids.

the subs club 1&2 - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the first two books in an m/m romance series. a group of friends is still reeling after one of them dies at the hands of an irresponsible dom. they decide to form the subs club; a website to review and rate doms, with an eye towards making the community safer for subs, though it doesn’t really work out that way. the first book follows dave, who ends up getting involved with a guy who’s eerily like ron swanson from parks and rec, and the second follows miles, a masochist who gets involved with a guy who likes to pretend to be a vampire (lmao??). i have to tip my hat to j.a. rock, who seems to have a knack for getting me to read things i’d be otherwise sure i wouldn’t be interested in. and i mean, even after reading, i’m pretty sure i don’t want to read other books about domestic discipline or s&m or pretend draculas, but her characters and plots are well written and engaging and i had a really good time. although, i have to mention: the second book dealt with internalised racism in a way that... while well meaning, was definitely not very deftly done.

alice & jean - lily hammond ⭐️⭐️⭐️ post wwii f/f romance set in new zealand. a young widowed mother falls for the dashing woman who delivers her milk every morning. they have to contend with community scrutiny, an old friend of alice’s husband, and her bitter old mother to fight their way to happiness. i enjoyed it; it was simple and the romance was incredibly sweet, though the writing did drag at times.

american dreamer - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DELIGHTFUL. the very definition of feel good romance! a young dominican-american man moves to the outskirts of new york to start his food truck, and almost immediately meets a cute librarian who turns his head. i flipping love queer romances with characters from the caribbean; it just feels so good when slang is part of the language of love.

minotaur - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i read four books by this author this month, and this is hands down my favourite. i don’t know man, combine girls and monsters and lesbian romance and i”M THERE. thera is a teen orphan sent to a home for girls at the edge of town. there, she makes friends, raises hell, falls in love with the mysterious new girl, and also becomes obsessed with stories of the minotaur, half woman half monster, locked the labyrinth in a cliff not far away. this story appealed to me in so many ways, and i really hope the author writes more f/f in the future.

two dads and three girls - nick (yu) he ⭐️⭐️⭐️ the autobiography of a gay man growing up in china, and the story of how he finds himself, finds love, and becomes a father. very sweet.

whew. that took me a while lol. that’s it for january. i probably (hopefully) will be too busy to read as much this month, but i have some interesting books on my plate. currently listening to an audiobook of beneath a scarlet sky, which is unfortunately underwhelming, and i’ll probably move on with some fun YA.

[brontesauruses]

Review: The Waking Land by Callie Bates

2.5 or 3 stars I am a lying liar from Liar Town who totally forgot she hadn't posted a review. Sorry! (I do this every time I read something way before my approved time to post reviews...) Despite being initially kidnapped by him at gun point to be used as political leverage, Elanna has come to view the king as a surrogate father, and is understandably upset when he is assassinated. Things continue to get worse for her when she is framed for his murder, and she must flee the county. She winds up in her homeland, where she must come to terms with her feelings for it, her birth father, and the powers she has tried to keep hidden from her captors for more than a decade.

I’m really glad I wrote the bulk of my review back in April, because I can barely remember anything about this book. I can't remember what I had for breakfast sometimes, so I guess this isn't surprising, but definitely proof that it didn't make much of an impact all the same. Anyway, here's what I wrote right after finishing the book in April (surprisingly coherent for being written at like 5 AM, and complete with bullet points, because I love bullet points):

I’m having a hard time articulating my feelings about this book, largely because they are very lukewarm. It’s not a BAD book by any means, but it’s not great either. It’s okay. I don’t regret reading it, but I don’t think that I would have picked it up had I been able to look at more readers’ reviews.

Let’s start with what I didn’t like, I guess: • “In the lush and magical tradition of Naomi Novik s award-winning Uprooted…” what does that even MEAN? This book is nothing like Uprooted, which, full disclosure, is one of my absolute favorite books, and the comparison to which finalized my decision to click the “Request” button. I mean…they both have trees?? And cram a lot of story into one book? And..magic?? I don’t know, that’s all I got. They are completely different books, and the juxtaposition with what is – at least, in my opinion- a much better-written book does this one no favors. (Edit from the Future: Huh, that's no longer part of the Goodreads blurb? It's still on the book's Amazon and Barnes & Noble pages, though, so I'm sticking to my grumbling here.) • Ok, so you know that old writing adage “show, don’t tell?” There is a LOT of telling. Constantly. We get what is largely a play-by-play of Elanna’s thoughts and feelings, and it drove me up the wall. Also, we are TOLD that she is very much into botany and wants to make a career out of it, but not until maybe… the last third, I guess, do we actually get to see her nerd out about plants. I want to SEE her get excited about plants like I (a library person) get excited about books. I know I’m working with a rougher draft than most of you will be reading, but still. • Building off of the last gripe, there is a lot of repetition in the telling. We are frequently reminded that: o Her loyalties are very divided and she is conflicted o Her birth culture is BARBAROUS…until she suddenly does a 180 on this, idk (would like to have seen this change of view develop more naturally, but okay) o X is new and conflicts with information she was previously taught?? Which piece of information is true???? o Loyce is the Worst (in all fairness, she is) o Elanna is PISSED o The ever-expanding litany of people who have sacrificed themselves for the greater good and/or Elanna o Love interest #1 has a Specific Love Interest Smell. Love interest #1 is LOOKING at her! Love Interest #1 is touching her omg. I feel like I could probably go on, but those are what stuck stuck out in the most in my mind. I just remember frequently thinking “Yes, I KNOW. You told me this already. Get on with it.” There was actual sighing and eye-rolling , you guys. • SPEAKING OF LOVE INTERESTS: the romance did not work for me. It happened too quickly, and felt like it was there just because it NEEDED to be. I was frankly surprised when the MC’s feelings were reciprocated; I was getting nothing from SPOILER Love Interest #1 END SPOILER. The same more or less goes for the other participant in the half-hearted love triangle (which I was glad to see quickly resolved, honestly; love triangles make me want to punch myself in the face). THESE ARE NOT REQUIREMENTS. You do not have to shoehorn romantic angst into your story for it to sell. • Do you know how done I am with first person present tense narration? It happens so much in YA genre fiction, and this one is no exception. Thanks, Hunger Games. (Or Twilight. I don’t actually know whose fault it is.) • As with her story, I had lukewarm feelings at best for Elanna. She seems to be a lot younger than her age (19), and repeatedly made some really bad decisions that hurt other people early on in the story, which I found to be frustrating. She also just sort of felt…flat to me? She didn’t inspire any feelings in me beyond annoyance, and I actually found myself forgetting her name on a few different occasions (Edit from the Future: I couldn't remember her name until I looked at my review just now...actually, I couldn't remember anyone's name, WHOOPS). She’s not terrible, as MCs go, but I didn’t love her. • I am still super confused about what “wedding the land” means?? Do you just have to have sex? Do you have to do the do in the woods?? Does it even require the do to be did??? No matter what it means, the implications of sex as a rite of passage for a young woman made me really uncomfortable. • SPOILER: We are told that a particular character is Destined to Die and…he does?? Don’t do that???END SPOILER (Edit from the Future: I MEAN, ok usually when this we are told A is going to happen, it doesn't, or B happens instead, so MAYBE this is a good thing but...probably not.) I did like some things, though: • One character whom other authors probably would have given a redemption-by-death arc (I SEE YOU, ROWLING), did not get that. That is such a lazy thing to do, and we did not get that here. Bates twisted it up, and I appreciate that immensely. • There are no bad Scottish accents from the Scottish-equivalent characters, and I appreciate that, too. • Rhia is my grumpy, buff child and I love her. • Victoire was great too, and would have liked to have seen more of her. (As a side note, I kind of ship her with Rhia? Idk.) • I don’t remember any girlhate, which is always a good thing. • How gorgeous is that cover?? • The last 1/3 or so was much more readable, so maybe that’s where most of the editing energy had been focused? It gave me hope that the final draft will be better, but I doubt enough will have changed to make me genuinely like this book. In any case, I’m not curious enough to check when the book comes out. Edit from the Future: Still not interested in a reread, but I will probably look at other readers' reviews, now that mine is being published. The long and short of it: the concept was GOOD, but the execution lacking. It and the protagonist managed to be both annoying and forgettable at times (somehow??), but were generally just…okay. The romance was predictable and kind of forced. The writing drove me up a wall some of the time, but SOME of that MIGHT be rectified in the final draft. I don’t recommend this book, but I also don’t NOT recommend it. Give it a shot if the concept sounds good to you. It’s not a bad way to spend your time, and you may like it more than I did. Edit from the Future: Looks like there's going to be a sequel. I doubt I'll read it, but I thought you might like to know. A big "thank you" to the publisher and NetGalley for letting me read it early in exchange for an honest review! (Originally published on Goodreads)