#idk how long this was in my drafts for sorry 🧍‍♂️ maybe i forgot to post

[tartagliatum]

lyney eating less than his siblings because he wants to make sure they have enough to eat before meeting his own needs

thoughts?

THIS IS SO SAD

i love it but dear god i have never hated anything more

gripping his growling stomach as he struggles to fall asleep, the hollow ache in his tummy and the never ending thoughts of food keeping him up all night :(

almost slipping up on missions where once he was vigilant and quick to gather intel. forcing a weary smile on his face whenever he finishes a magic trick; and even then, it’s because he managed to make it through without any forgetfulness or mishaps, rather than because of the cheer of the children in awe of magic

his body aches and his focus evades him, thoughts looping around his head and disappearing just when he’s about to grasp them - every day feels like wading through mud. his corset tightens and he becomes slow and lethargic and painful, but he decides as long as his siblings are safe and his audience is smiling (handing over money to keep them alive), the headaches and gnawing pain in his stomach each night are worth it

however i do think lynette is very sharp and would notice what he’s doing - in the tremble his magician’s fingers have never had before, in his pale lips and the barely noticeable furrow of confusion between his brow when he struggles to pull a trick he once knew like the back of his hand through his brain fog. he falls asleep before changing his clothes, makeup smudged the next day, far too exhausted to even think about dealing with all those accessories with such shaky hands and limbs. she sees through the tired smile he gives her when he says he isn’t hungry, that he’s having an adrenaline crash from the show, that he’s busy connecting intel, that he feels too sick to eat. she wouldn’t outright call him out, no, he’s far too temperamental and stubborn (and caring) to ever admit to it. instead she pretends to be full, or too tired to finish her food, and offers half to him instead.

gradually, the garters loosen, he doesn’t need to pull his corset so tight anymore. his fingers don’t fumble for cards or hidden vices, and he doesn’t even come close to being caught in dangerous situations while doing fatui work. his eyes are shining again when he finishes tricks, when he sees how everyone claps and cheers and believes in magic because of him <3