#idk maybe its justl absolutely too hard to properly n realistically write or draw abt this stuff unless u like........ nvm
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#having swrious thoughts bc brain fuzzy mood swings etc etc#had a post on priv abt how fandom doesnt acknowledge or seem willing to make the connection#that viktors swiftness towards self brutalizing behavior#like cutting off body parts and even arcane vik being VERY quick to cutting runes into themself is bc of how much self harm plays into them#or its acknowledged as if its just a dead end leap hand forced vs an escalation that lead to these things coming off suddenly as#a thing that is jumping the gun but can appear so logical when ur someone used to dopamine rushes out of... that#think fandoms in gen treat sh as some boogeyman scary thing OR edgy element to play up while neither considers like#juat what behaviors count as sh bc its such a wide array#or what the mindset it takes to get there n how it becomes such a compulsive addiction n not just an edgy one time thing#for fun.#dpuble edged sword bc idk how fandom acknowledging it at large in proper contexts would be but#would make things easier idk#idk maybe its justl absolutely too hard to properly n realistically write or draw abt this stuff unless u like........ nvm#been wanting to make like. a better body ref for viktor that has better drawn scars n maybe itll also mean#next time i commission them i dont have to continuously tell the person im paying to draw them n draw them right#> also we need to make this less scary n weird bc i shouldnt have to do this n ppl shouldnt be so scared idk#av.txt
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