monkeydlesbian · 1 year ago
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never thought i’d say this but thank you sanji i love you so much brother 🙏
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abbyslev · 2 years ago
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ANGST!! You and Hange are exes and haven’t seen each other since the day you guys broke up. It could turn into smut idk
𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑽𝑬- 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹
A/N: THANK YOU for this ask. I’ve been writing it all day i literally love it sm:) tusm <3 i love writing angst🙁 enjoy, i hope it’s what you wanted!! i also added a small TLOU reference at the end hehehe>:) anyway thank you so much for reading and thank you for this lovely ask!!
WARNINGS: angst, break up, workaholic! hange, alcohol (not much), lightly proofread, anddddddddd loads of fluff heheheh
WC: 2k
Three months. That’s how long it had been since you had seen Hange.
     “I work a lot and I don't get to see you…it’s not fair for you.” They mumble. “I don’t care! I know what you do is hard, but I just want to be with you.” You grab their suit,  looking into their eye. “Hange, please.” You beg. “I love you too much to keep hurting you like this. You think I like leaving for days on end? It's just not fair to you.” They repeat. 
       You stood in the rain, hand over Hange's mouth, begging her to say no more. She placed a hand on your wrist, moving your hand down to her heart. “You live here.” She pulled you in for one last kiss, before leaving you at your door, covered in rain and in a puddle of your own tears. 
    You pull the strap of your black dress, sipping from your sparkling water. You seriously needed to not drink, you had enough the past three months. Loud footsteps approached your table. You look up, faced with your best friend. “Want one?” Erwin held up a shot. “Can’t. Trying to stay sober, remember?” You smile, pulling out a chair. Erwin took a seat, eyes trailing behind you. 
      “I knew this would look good on you.” Erwin tugged at the skirt of your dress. “You picked this-” You motion towards the cleavage part of the dress. “on purpose.” You roll your eyes. “Well, I had to pull you out of your comfort zone somehow.” He chuckled a bit. “Whatever.” You gulped down the rest of your sparking water. 
      “How’s it feel being a married man?” You cross your legs, rubbing your lips together. “Wonderful. I haven’t told Levi we are going to Paris, so I hope he likes it.” Erwin messed with his hands nervously. “Oh, I'm sure he’ll love it. All the different teas and stuff.” You smirked. “I sure hope so.” He took your hands into his. 
       “I know it’s hard for you tonight, but I just want to thank you for being so supportive of me.” Was all he said before walking away. Your eyebrows furrowed, confused by the sudden topic change. A body plopped in front of you, eyes wide and a very shy demeanor. 
Oh. 
           You look down at your hands, eyes staring at your red nails. You grab your purse, fixing to stand up. “Hi.” They said. You froze in place, not knowing what to do. “Hello.” You whisper. “You look so pretty.” They smile at you, not that you could see it. “Oh, thank you.” You nod, without looking up. “Levi seems to be having fun.” They chuckle a bit, You peek up to your right, seeing Levi trying to hold back Eren and Jean from having a whole dance battle in the middle of the floor.
     “Yeah.” You nod. You finally look up, meeting their face. You freeze in place again, mouth slightly open. They looked the same, but it felt different. Their hair was up in its updo, eyepatch still there. They changed their glasses frame, from a gray to a now raven black. They seemed a bit tired. 
         “I like your makeup,” They smile. “Thanks. Sasha did it.” You nod. “So, how have you been?” They lean back. You notice a small sun on the back of their middle finger. You don’t mention it. You tried to think about the question and how you were to answer it. 
       Were you going to tell them that you have been staying at Erwin’s for the past couple of months so you don’t drive yourself into a wall? Or that you’ve had to lock yourself in a room so you don’t drown yourself in your own tears and alcohol? Or that you have been running off an hour of sleep? That you can’t do anything without thinking of them?
      “Good. I’ve been pretty good. And you?” You smile softly. “I’ve been pretty shitty actually. Coming home to none of your food has made me pretty miserable.” Hange laughed. It's like you almost forgot how honest they were. “Oh, yeah. You’d always get too much and regret it later.” You giggle. It was genuine. 
       “Yup. I’ve also had a hard time sleeping. I’ve tried those things you used to listen to on the tv…but it’s just so boring. I need some earthy nerd shit to fall asleep.” They sip their water, shaking their head. “Oh yeah, the ones with the people who travel and find all those weird animals, right?” You set your purse back on the table, leaning back into the soft material of the chair. 
     “Yeah, that one. Oh, and cleaning sucks. I know the basics but you always did the fancy stuff so when Levi came over he almost choked me.” Hange rubbed their neck, shivering. “You didn’t use bleach on the wooden table again, did you?” You slap your hands on the table, a smile growing on your face. “Oh god, no. I think.” You shake your head. 
      “How’s Tuna?” Hange leaned their head on their hand, admiring your soft features. Tuna was your shared cat, which you ended up taking because you worked less. “She’s pretty good actually. She didn’t want to get her nails clipped, she only likes when you do it.” You crossed your arms. “What can i say? Everyone likes me.” They laugh. You scrunch your face,  shaking your head. 
      “Not that one kid at the park.” You roll your eyes. “Oh my god! The one who threw a pebble at my head to get rid of my other eye?” Hange laughed loudly. “Yes!” You throw your head back, laughing. “That was so funny.” You place your hand on Hange’s knee. Both of you didn’t notice, considering how normal it felt.
       The two of you stayed there for hours, catching up on every detail of your life. You learned that Hange had taken up a different job, and now worked from home like you did. Your chairs now sat right up against each other, your knees in between Hange’s legs. Your hands rested on their knees and you leaned forward , talking to them. 
       Hange just sat there, admiring your beauty. They had slowly become so engulfed into their work, you had only become a memory to them. The months you spent apart, you were suddenly all they thought of. Levi pushed them to talk to you, but they just couldn’t. They couldn’t handle seeing your face again, after how they left you, 
       But yet, here you two were, laughing and catching up, forgetting the rest of the world. Levi and Erwin stood in the corner, hands interlocked and quietly betting on what was going to happen next. Erwin thought you were going to come home and sob, and Levi bet that you two were going to fuck. 
      But none of that was on either of your minds. You two completely were engulfed into your current conversation, branching off to another and another. Your eyes met theirs, touching was no longer a problem and it was like none of the past three months ever happened.
        “Ah, shit.” You look around. People were starting to clean up. You check your phone, seeing it was past twelve. “I gotta get home.” You pick up your purse. “I’m pretty sure Sasha left, fuck.” You groan. “Wanna come home with me? I don't mind.” Hange flashed you a smile. “Oh. Are you sure?” You tilt your head. “C’mon.” They grab your elbow, rolling your eyes.
         The drive back was peaceful. Hange played the playlist you two made a while back. You smiled, surprised Hange still had it. You noticed they had everything you had given them. The pins on the roof, stickers from camping places on the dashboard, the cat air freshener on their rearview mirror. It made you feel better knowing you also kept their stuff. 
        You kicked off your shoes, shivering at the cold floor. “Welcome home.” Hange held their arms open. Their apartment stayed the same. The pictures of you two still stayed up, almost like you two never separated. Your shoes sat in the shoe rack, ones you thought you had lost. “Hey, I left these here?” You laugh, pointing at them. “Oh yeah, I just got too lazy to give them back.” They lie easily. The truth was, they never wanted to get rid of them. Or anything that was yours. 
        You follow Hange to their room, standing by the doorway. Their room was a mess, as always. When you used to be over almost all the time, it was cleaner. You noticed the right side of the bed was mostly untouched, and the pillows seemed to be fluffy and nice. Even after months, Hange never slept in your spot. 
         The nightstand was empty, except for the coaster and the book that you had left. “Hey, did you ever finish this one?” You ran up to it, flipping it to the page you left off.” “Haven’t touched it since…yeah.” Hange opened their closet, laying out some clothes. You used to sit in between Hange’s legs and read to them. 
         “Bleh, she ended up dying anyway.” You tossed the book back. “I knew it! God, she was stupid.” Hange shook her head. “Also, do you know where Erwin’s taking Levi? He’s been bugging me about that all day.” Hange opened up a drawer, taking out some socks. 
     “Paris.” You smile. “No fucking way.” Hange laughs. You just nod. Hange comes up to you, handing you some sweatpants and one of their shirts. They plopped the socks on top, laughing. “Since i know you like your feet warm.” You shake your head, smiling. 
       You two were in the bathroom. You changed while Hange brushed their teeth. “Can you unzip this?” You move your hair, tilting your head. Hange pressed a hand against your back, the other zipping the dress down. Your breath hitched, blood rushing to your face. “Thanks.” You whisper. 
       “Here’s your bag.” Hange handed you a toothbrush. “You still have this?” You put toothpaste on your toothbrush, running it under water. “Yeah, in case you slept over for something.” They open your toiletries bag. “Oh,  this will come in handy,” You pull out advil. “Did you drink?” They rinse their toothbrush. “No, but it’s late and I plan to wake up early.” You rinse yours out. “Ah.” Was all they said before rushing to the bed, 
        You crawl in beside them, forgetting everything else. It's like the past was gone, and it was like any normal night. You roll over, facing Hange. Their face was dangerously close to yours,  eye trailing down your face again. “I missed you so much, you don’t even know.” Hange whispered. “Don’t get all sappy on me now.” You look down at their lips.
      “It feels so normal, being like this.” Hange placed a hand on your cheek, pushing your hair back. “Yeah.” You nod, pushing their loose hairs out of their face. “I never stopped thinking of you. You stayed right here, like I said.” They took your hand, placing it on their heart. “I thought when i saw you again you were going to slap me and tell me you hated me,” 
         You didn’t say anything as they loudly swallowed, pupil growing. “but you talked to me as if nothing happened. I don’t deserve you.” Hange squeezed your hand. “I didn’t slap you because it wasn’t your fault. I wasn't mad, I just wanted to love you. I always did and I still do.” You take your other hand, placing it on the side of their neck. 
        “As soon as I walked back in here I regretted it all. If i had spoken to you it could’ve solved everything.” They sighed. “But we are here now, aren’t we?” “We are.” They smile. “I never wanted to leave you, ever. You are my sun. My everything. Leaving you is something I never want to do again.” They lean in a bit more. 
       “Then don’t. We can try again.” You gave them a soft smile. Their lips met yours. You felt numb, like you couldn’t move, yet you pressed a hand against their cheek, body pushing closer against theirs. Their hand snaked around your waist, pulling you toward them. 
      “I’m sorry,” Hange placed their forehead on yours. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to be, for anything.” You push your nose against theirs. “I love you.” “To the edge of the universe and back.” You smile before kissing them again.
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ddarker-dreams · 2 years ago
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hxh chapter 395
IT HAS BEEN 22 YEARS SINCE CHROLLO WAS FIRST REVEALED IN THE MANGA... 23 SINCE HE WAS FIRST MENTIONED... AND FINALLY........ WE ARE GETTING HIS BACKSTORY . all in god’s (togashi’s) timing. i literally couldn’t believe my eyes when i woke up to baby chrollo on the tl wednesday morning. i’m just now getting the time to scribble down all my thoughts that have been haunting me since then. is any of what i’m about to say coherent? probably not. i’m just so excited that i can barely put it into words. like. how am i supposed to function. i sure don’t know. i’ll put all my screaming + rough analysis under the read more then summarize what new things we learned about chrollo and the phantom troupe. idk how to format this so i’m sorry for anyone who braves the abyss below. anyways , without further ado ... 
(the link to the chapter for anyone who is curious)
nobunaga frames the flashback with the statement “fueled by despair and anger, we were searching for a purpose...” which more of less confirms the widely accepted notion that the phantom troupe was formed to give these people something to do. after reading that, i was expecting to go into some depressing stuff right away, but instead we get to see the baby phantom troupe members kinda roughhousing each other? acting like lil rascals. so i’m assuming nobunaga’s statement comes into play a bit later. 
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the spiders seem to have been split up into smaller cliques before they eventually formed together, these groups being chrollo/franklin/shalnark (HIS LIL MISSING TOOTH OH MY GOD), machi/uvo, and phinks/feitan. 
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this more altruistic viewpoint further convinces me that something major must’ve happened for chrollo’s worldview to shift so drastically. here and throughout the rest of the chapter, we can see him championing the cause of sharing knowledge with others around his age instead of hoarding it. this immediately sets him apart from the uvo/machi and phinks/feitan cliques who want to keep anything remotely valuable to themselves. Hmm.  
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i could be wrong, but the architecture of this church having crosses + pews seems reminiscent of the abrahamic religions, leaning more toward catholicism perhaps? this must play into chrollo’s fascination with catholic aesthetics in his adulthood. it seems that compared to the rest of meteor city, this church was somewhat of a safe haven. 
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NGL it’s kinda funny little baby chrollo looked @ phinks and uvo and went hm. yeah those dudes are definitely not the church crowd. baby chrollo being able to teach himself various languages just from watching tapes that everyone else his age finds too boring to sit through though... he’s always been a little genius. interestingly enough, the compliments on his intellect never seemed to have gotten to his head? he always took them in such a good-natured way. he seemed like such a kind boy... meteor city’s elders mention how bright he is in the next page too. i wonder what they expected from little chrollo though? 
“perhaps he could be of use to the elders? you think he may be able to solve the problems plaguing the city...” 
very curious to know if they meant now or when he’s older. anyway, the elders took an interest in him from a young age, only for chrollo to completely disregard them when he became an adult (chrollo stealing one of their abilities for his fight against hisoka). 
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i’m in ABSOLUTE agony. while this interaction is so cute, i can’t help but think about how paku prioritized chrollo’s life despite his philosophy that ‘the head of the spider [himself] can always be replaced’, which lead to her own death 🙁 OUCH OUCH IT HURTS... her care for chrollo and the troupe ran so deep. now we get to kinda see why. chrollo so brazenly telling paku that he loves her when it’s very likely she’s rarely (if at all) heard those words growing up in a place like meteor city......................... ah...........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 
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HE’S A LITTLE GENIUS!!! LOOK AT HIM GO !!! 
‘no way he was born here...’
it makes sense that chrollo ended up getting voted to be the leader of the troupe since his intelligence has been universally praised all along. a smart lil guy. i really can’t get over the fact he did all this just so the other kids could understand/enjoy the cartoon more 😭😭😭 that just leaves me with the same, pressing question that machi has here... 
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‘is that chrollo?’ 
she must’ve been shocked to see him go from :D to :| ........... what happened to my MANS...
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