#idk. Unrelated to this but it gives me a bit the vibes of Aphrodite making flowers out of Adonis

[birlcholtz]

What about the Falcs in the PJ universe 👀

OOO okay so we’ve got george, tater, snowy, marty, thirdy, and guy!

let’s start with tater because we definitely know the most about him. we know he’s very attached to his friends, he’s very outgoing and friendly, but also if he hates people he HATES them and he also really likes blueberries. the blueberries are important it means i’m ruling him out as a child of dionysus they’re not a vine plant. also he does stupid shit sometimes like trying to teach bitty how to carry him. in ice skates. both of them are in ice skates. omg. okay anyway sorry moving on the mom friend in me popped out. and also he totally will plunge into a fray to avenge a teammate, or just to punch someone he really doesn’t like, et cetera.

so tater’s super outgoing, enthusiastic, humorous, but ALSO he’s just very passionate and will go down swinging if he has to (or if he wants to). so that tells me he is *not* the child of an easygoing deity.

i think nemesis could be an interesting choice-- it depends on whether you view her as a goddess of kind of just retribution, or a goddess of revenge in all its forms. because tater totally avenges people even if they’re actually doing fine (like when parse rushed snowy and tater jumped him). he kinda reminds me of percy in his loyalty to other people? but i think he could also be a child of ares? idk there are options

oKAY moving on to george. george is pretty calm and collected even when shit is going down, she likes to run in the park, she mostly takes things in stride, but she’s also in a position of authority-- even if she doesn’t wield that authority with an iron fist. so like. not zeus lol. part of me wants to say she’d have artemis’ blessing or smth but idk how artemis would feel about george working in the nhl. regardless, george is not easily shook. (except for that one memorable instance when jack told her he was dating a teammate.) so that eliminates some people, i think-- poseidon, ares, aphrodite, tyche, off the top of my head. hmm she’s another one who could be in a few different places.

athena would make sense-- she wears a position of command pretty well, and she deals with The Kiss in a pretty analytical way

snowy, marty, thirdy, and guy under the cut!

OKAY SNOWY TIME. emo king. he’s the goalie which means he’s a little weird. eyeliner. flexible and yet goes to see the trainer a lot. swears constantly. last line of defense on the ice. he seems a little more prickly than a lot of the falcs, but like in a loving way? (all the times he says ‘fuck you’ come to mind, especially since he has like. 3.5 lines) also has an incredible ability to look bored at any time, which i think is partially due to the eyeliner. partially. oh and who can forget his absolutely epic helmet with the wings on it that shit’s incredible.

snowy, more than the others, seems ‘icy’ to me (possibly because of his last name, nominative determinism anyone?? is that what it’s called the name is so long). like he’s a little inscrutable, a little hostile, but he’s not actually like. mean. so more like... the outside is ice. also he doesn’t talk a ton (especially compared to tater) so i get the sense that snowy himself is a little bit closed off. him being the goalie means that he doesn’t have lineys the way other players do. also his name is dustin that’s unrelated i just remembered

hmm i think there’s a lot of ways to go with snowy? but just to be unusual i’m going to suggest hades, bc a) the aesthetic and b) snowy’s ‘emo phase’ exterior and c) i like the idea of the goalie position being kind of reminiscent of hades. the underworld is *the last place*, the ultimate place in a way. people don’t return from there. heroes do and that’s why there are stories about them. and there’s a sense of ultimate-ness about a puck getting to the goalie? does this make any sense lol

ALRIGHT MOVING ON TO MARTY. so many dad vibes he even tries to dad the 25-year-old millionaire rookie who is possibly the only person on the falcs who can out-dad him. and is not much younger than him LMAO. he’s very tied to his family and i think it would make sense for him to have hera’s blessing, and i’m literally sitting here thinking about which gods i get the most dad vibes from in case y’all are wondering how scientific this process is

i think hebe would be funny because she’s the goddess of youth and marty’s entire career is basically about youth? i know we associate that with modeling and acting and stuff but like he is IMMEDIATELY introduced by tater asking when he’s retiring and mentions his hip giving out at some point. also he seems to call everyone ‘kiddo’. jack. bitty. thirdy?? guy?? george????? the possibilities are endless. marty is actually blessing them, every time he calls someone ‘kiddo’ he delays the onset of joint pain for at least 3 days. not much but the hockey players will take it

THIRDY TIME. he cannot make balloon animals. he also has kids. or at least one kid. i think we can eliminate athena (crafts) and apollo who i’m just kind of assuming has some hand in visual art as well because he seems to have a hand in everything. yes i’m basing this solely off of the balloon animals lmao. he’s a leader on the team, like marty, and in the whole retirement conversation he’s the one who brings up the idea of writing poetry and doing a victory tour. so actually let’s bring apollo back LMAO that seems like a very..... VERY apollo thing to do even if he can’t make balloon animals. maybe that’s more athena’s thing lmao. i’m going with apollo

and finally............ guy.

guy is like..... well he’s an enforcer, a strong and silent type, doesn’t smile a lot. enough so that it is NOTICEABLE when he smiles at people. he has a beard. this all makes me think of hephaestus ngl but he is a pro hockey player and an extremely minor character so we barely know ANYTHING about him??? nonetheless. i’m thinking hephaestus