#idk. confusion. i want something that accurately captures the level of nuance i feel
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#aka things i would have posted on vent but they made it so ugly#using tumblr as my personal diary#i…. need a label like queer but for asexuality#something that implies a level of nuance to it but doesn’t require me to spend too much time on it#because truly i am so much happier when i have a vague label like that#queer. agender. i know agender isn’t technically so vague but (waves hand)#does that make any sense 🩷#like i keep coming back to asexuality and its spectrum but ace as a label doesn’t feel /quite/ right#yknow?#it’s definitely in part due to my own issues irt sexuality as validation#like if i’m desirable i feel more valuable and i end up going well wait. maybe i’m NOT ace#except when i really think about it i… do not want another person Involved with me#nor do i look at people and want to be Involved with them#in a serious way#i will joke abt fictional characters but there’s a level of fantasy there where it stops being real to me#and it’s more abt the idea of them#idk. confusion. i want something that accurately captures the level of nuance i feel#and i haven’t found that yet. and it distresses me
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