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#idrun dnd
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NPC: I am Julifer the Inquisitive, protector of Ithrea, Councillor of Eqamar, Mother of Dragons.
players: Dragon Mommy? Dragon mommy, sorry, dragon momm--
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dm, stumbling over her words: you see a flash at the very tiddy-top of the mountain-
all the players, immediately: at the where now? the tiddy-top? the mountain nipple? (after climbing the mountain) ah yes, we're nearly there, i can see the texture change! and how, uh, pebbled would you say the ground is, DM?
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today my wizard read a fairytale to a teenage dragon <3
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HELLO Gemma negotiated a meeting with an ancient dragon by making friends with her rebellious teenage daughter
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HELLO my character got a psychic connection to the god of disease and decay, can no longer sleep without nightmares without passing a DC 10 luck check and might be the subject of a prophecy????? this poor girl has had an existential or moral crisis every single session DM please
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paladin: oh and just for fun i'll turn on Divine Sense, see if anything pings about this group?
DM: oh yeah they're all undead :)
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the party sold 9 of our 14 camels :( we're now only left with Achilles, Damocles, Heracles, Hera and Fred, the pigeon Annabelle, the spiritual steed Ajax and the dog Lubach :(
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hello the party is truly a found family now!! gemma's been reading fairytales out loud for the boys by the fire every night bc cat is illiterate and can't read them himself, and gemma and hunter are officially in sibling rivalry territory rather than actual dislike, and cat gave hunter a book on foraging food in the desert as thanks for making delicious meals for the group all the time :3
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got to play dnd in person today with my favorite irl group 🥰🥰 we haven't played offline since, like, june!
xevros (leonin paladin) spontaneously decided to teach gemma how to hunt after learning that she'd never hunted or cooked before, so we had a hunting expedition with the party + an older experienced female leonin
xevros is a male lion dude with very little actual hunting experience. hilarity ensued as he tried to bullshit his way through mentoring gemma
gemma learned a friend of hers had their soul locked away by cultists of Morgon (the god of death, disease and decay) because the friend was researching a curse Morgon placed on gemma
got a point of inspiration from the DM for trying to milk a spiritual cow. also for entertaining the idea of summoning a dolphin in the middle of the desert and keeping it moist with cooled tea from our everlasting teacup
the party started an expedition into the desert to find the temple of Morgon, lead by the compass gemma now seems to have in the back of her head that always points due Morgon
half the party got high off cactus juice!
conclusion: lots of hilarity, fully broke the DM laughing four times, some horrific events happened in-game, went on a half-hour walk with everybody halfway through bc the sun was out and it was lovely, bonus points for takeout pizza
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i almost made my dnd party cry today with a single very quiet muttered line. so like. i think i'm winning dungeons and dragons
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my dnd party spent half the session at a gala, featuring such gems as
a lion learning how to waltz
my wizard gemma explaining the concept of kissing
the antisocial rogue getting a Big Gay Kiss in the middle of the dance floor
stealing a woman's back-up dress, and
our 3 feet tall tabaxi sneaking off to fuck his elven bard nemesis
the back half of the session was shopping and a history lesson!
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me talking to the DM about Gemma's backstory: okay so Nanthema is a few years older, she and Gemma grew up together at court. Nanthema was Gemma's Abjuration tutor because her father was like, for the love of god if you're not going to be a cleric at least study a respectable school of magic. oh, and Nanthema is beautiful. and Gemma is not interested in becoming an abjurer but she does enjoy hanging out with Nanthem-
my DM: so is every character you make just going to be a lesbian
me: yes every character i make is going to be a lesbian
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