#if i just get into the flow of it....... alas im kinda just Tired

[gemharvest]

I need to find a better way to motivate myself to work than telling myself I *have* to get it done. Cuz like girl that ain't working.

[onehunnit]

May Comebacks/Debuts that I Caught!*

*in no particular order, non-exhaustive, and all songs were released between May 1st and May 31st. 🎶 means it was playlisted!

Ride the Vibe by NEXZ: I like this this is a really good vibe we got going on and the production is rly cool.

Mona Lisa by Soojin: It was easy to get lost in the song, but not in a good way. The chorus was murky and the verses needed to pull their weight to make it work. Bonus points for the refrain, but other than that...

Now by ONEUS: This is a cover but it's still on here. They killed this tho I feel the oneus flair even tho its a cover

🎶 Feel the Pop by ZB1: Maybe its just bc i've been on a "cute" songs kick I'm a little obsessed with this song. Just the bit! the rap threw me the fuck off, but it's kinda grown on me. This song is very charming man

X10 by MCND: Cowboys? I just don't know how to feel about this song.

🎶 Woke Up by XG: They are quite secure in their rap bag! Maya >>> YES MA'AM. While this definetly their most rap-heavy song, they command the flow with ease and even if their lyrics are not as complex as expected for rap, they're doing a damn fine job!

How Sweet by NewJeans: the beginning instrumental FUCK they hook lined and sunk me *head in hands* FUCK MHJ and HYBE! but the girlies ate with this one. play listed in spirit

🎶 Cheese by SUHO (ft. WENDY): I fucking EAT up this genre of music.

🎶 200 by Mark: This is the song i would have ATE UP in 2018. It is a very fun song, and belongs in my coming of age playlist. So, semi-playlisted? aw fuck it it's playlisted.

🎶 Error 405 by JD1: The funky ass bass line man... as i was listening my smile was dropping bc i knew i was going become obsessed with this song. I am falling into the JD1 hole i fear. The song is so adorable

Gasoline by E'Last: I am going to be honest I'm a bit tired of this genre, but E'last pulls it off very well and I can still appreciate it.

🎶 Girls Never Die by tripleS: idk man i just really like the song. That's all i got i fear

💿 LOST! by RM: idk what the single for this RPWP but I think its lost! and i love the zanyness of it. He is in his experimental/ alt hip hop bag. also sillica gel did a cover of it, thus legendary status. Playlisted. In spirit, burned on a CD in actuality

🎶 LOOP by YVES (ft. Lil Cherry): this is soo fucking good it has crack in it im sure. the rap? unecessary alas

🎶 Armageddon by aespa: aespa has hit their stride fr like i was a casual fan of aespa but this cb has been pushing me to stan status like im over her kicking my feet over giselle so ty aespa fr. IMMA GET IT DONEEEEEE

🎶 Empty by CHEN: OFC ITS A FUCKING BALLAD FUCK ME MAN. 10/10. no notes. canr even be accurate bc ballads almost always make me tear up. its my dads influence on me. fuck man

🎶 Supernatural by A.C.E: WAHHHH A.C.E I LOVE YOU <33 this song is just so !!! ah!

Virtual Angel by ARTMS: the mv is cool as hell

🎶 WORK by ATEEZ: they set out to make a banger and make one they did. i know it will grow on me, but it does have some growth to do. playlisted bc well. ults :) i like it just not my fave on the mini

🎶 1 to 3 by SUHO: suho's msuic has been moving me lately im just fr in love with this song

[dokoni-mo]

Crave || William Afton x GN! Reader

summary: William is tired of waiting.

NSFW // Suggestive

word count: im too lazy to do wordcounter so uhh medium length

warnings: dubcon??? sure why not. corruption kink, age-gap (reader is 20 while Will is pushing 40) relationship, Will is kinda (really) creepy, obsession, usage of those kinda toys, masturbation, usage of pet names, sensual touching, praise, very brief and faint daddy kink, swearing, Michael is in this too briefly a few times, not proofread

a/n: it's been a while since ive posted on this blog. i really don't know what this is, so I guess just consider this some word barf. I only thought of it after binging all of the first season of Euphoria

taglist open. minors dni.

~~

William Afton could not remember a time where he wasn't faking.

It didn't necessarily mean he was an unhappy person, no. Actually not in the slightest. He had a stable job with a plenty amount of money flowing in, and a big enough house to show for it. His three children went to the nicest school in town, and wore clothes and shoes that made heads turn. The car parked in the driveway was sleek and shiny. He shared a CEO position with his best friend for multiple companies. He was drop dead handsome. A widow. A charming bachelor. What other men his age got to say that? William was truly living the American dream.

But, it was all just... boring.

Maybe that's what drew him to you.

You were his eldest son's friend, someone he met in the early years of community college. Michael would have you over often, and sometimes you'd just show up at the house. Not that William minded.

You weren't boring.

You were a pretty young thing. It had been far too long since William had something so pretty and supple close to him. You were the same age as his eldest, but William didn't fucking care. He was tired of people his age flirting with him anyway. He wanted something fresh and exciting. Something pretty for him to fawn over and take care of.

He wanted you.

He learned listening in to your conversations with his son that you were a virgin. Hadn't even been kissed before. Only had one "boyfriend" in middle school that only dated you for a week over a dare.

It made his cock unbearably hard thinking about getting to be all of your firsts. The way you would tremble when his big hands finally got to caress your warm body. The look of worry in your doe eyes when he kisses you for the first time. The way your lips would be so timid against his, your hands clasping his dress shirt as you wondered if he felt as good as you did.

Don't worry, sweet bunny. He did. He felt so, so good. You made him feel like he reached nirvana

It's what he would think about at night when he put on his favorite porno. It's what would play on loop in his mind as he fucked into his fist. Its your name he would groan under his breath. Its you that made him start to lose interest in his favorite movies. He couldn't even get hard anymore looking at them.

Because they weren't you.

Its you that made him want to invest in something else other than his hand. It's you, sweet bunny, that made him buy his first toy to pleasure himself with.

But alas, its also you that made him grow tired of that as well.

No amount of imagining the cheap plastic was you could do him justice anymore. He always knew in the back of his mind that it wasn't you that he was pumping full of hot, sticky semen every night. Who was he kidding? Something like that could never be a replacement.

William needed the real thing. He wasn't sure if he could ever get off again if he didn't.

He needed a plan.

It would be easy enough for to get you alone with him. After many times of chatting with him while you were waiting for Michael to appear, William could tell you trusted him enough. That made things a lot easier.

He decided he would just use Michael. He would wait for a day he knew his son would invite you over, then create some scenario where Michael couldn't make it home in time to meet you there. William could use his money for this. Bribe a few college boys with a couple hundred dollars to distract Michael for a few hours without him knowing. Boom. Easy. Tomorrow should be a good day to do it.

That part's covered. William will go to the bank in the morning to get the money.

William knew that you would be timid to come in when Michael isn't home. That's fine. He can just lie. Tell you that Michael just had to run to get some snacks for you two and he'd be back any minute. That sounded like his son enough for you to be comfortable with that answer enough for you to come inside.

Yes, it was all coming together.

William would gently lead you over to and sit you down on his plush couch. He'll force Michael in the morning to clean the house while he's at the bank. Can't have his sweet, precious bunny sitting in a dirty living room. William would make you tea to get you comfortable as you sat, and he would soon sit next to you. Not too close to freak you out, yet not too far. William hated it when you were far away from him.

William was good at small talk. He'd practiced a lot trying to blend in with the normal crowd. He knew your sense of humor too. He'd be sure to make you laugh. He loved your laugh. It was so fucking sexy. You hated it, though. That made William pissed. You have nothing to be insecure about. You're so fucking precious and darling in every way. When you doubted yourself it made William want to bend you over the nearest surface and pound you until you were convinced every part about you was beautiful. That every inch of you was-

Mr. Afton was getting ahead of himself. He had to focus.

Eventually, his hand would find a place on your knee, his large thumb rubbing into your flesh. A test. If you reacted well, he could continue. If you didn't, well...

you needed more work.

It wasn't a choice now of if you were gonna be his, now only when.

He hoped you would be a good little bunny and play along with his wishes. It would disappoint him if he had to punish you so early on.

If he could continue, he'd move his hand down your thigh, moving his body closer to you. Surely you'd be blushing by then, a nervous look on your adorable face when you look up at the taller, bigger, older man. It would be so fucking adorable. The way your eyebrows bent in confusion. The way your plush lips would part.

How he wanted to do unspeakable things with those lips.

William would keep putting his hands on you, slowly but surely. He would keep his touches soft, delicate, like you would break into a million pieces if he pressed any harder. He'd go slow, alert to pull away if he sensed his bunny getting uncomfortable. The last thing he want's is to scare his bunny away. They were just a timid little thing. His bunny to keep all to himself, to protect and hold and never let go. He needed patience with you. That was fine. He was a patient man. He had a mile of it to give when it came to you. He knows how scary it must be to have such a handsome, older man touch virgin you like that. How scared you must be when you feel how good he can make you feel. How timid you are with all of these new sensations.

Its okay, precious little one. William promises to take such good care of you. He'll make you feel so good, just wait. You'll never want for anything ever again. That's what you get when you're a good bunny for your daddy.

William would be sure to praise you to keep you going. He'll tell you all the things he's been waiting to say to you. He'll tell you how he's never seen something as pretty as you. How he finds it so hard to control himself when you're around. How he gets so jealous that Michael gets to see you every day and be near you. He'll tell you how he's waited so long just to feel how soft your pretty skin is. How he's wanted you for so, so long. How he only wants you.

You'll question him. You'll be confused.

It's okay. William is there to calm your nerves. Can't you see how much he wants you? His big hand are all over you. He keeps looking at your lips. And surely by now you've noticed that painful looking bulge in his pants.

He wants you. Only you. No one else could even come close to being as perfect as you are for him. William doesn't mind his baby is a virgin. That's what he's here to do. He'll teach you all you need to know, and daddy will make you feel so good in the process.

All you need to do is have some faith.

~~

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

[sakurabaneku]

anime expo was soooooooooo much and it was so hot and overwhelming (and yes, crowded) but i had so much fun! under the cut because i sure do talk a lot

i knew ax was big but WHOA OK its on a whole nother level!! i dont think i even saw the entirety of the convention center and i didnt even step into the jw! wow ok! i was really worried about it being overwhelming and everyone being too busy to.. be friendly i guess but that wasnt really a problem!! everyone was really friendly, especially at the meets!! the ff meet was on the hottest day of the weekend and it was overcrowded and difficult to get things organized but everyone was still friendly and talkative and looking out for each other in that wild heat!! SHOUT OUT TO THE ZACK FAIR PHOTOBOMBING THE SHOOT BY DOING SQUATS IN THAT HEAT!! you really are a hero, zack fair. you really are.

speaking of the heat, idk how i survived in noctis all day in.. 106 or something degree weather but i loveloveLOVED being him!! it was worth the suffering!!!! one of my favorite costumes ive done so far i think and i got so many super nice comments from people on it and waah! also got arrested by the thot patrol and shoved into the ballpit by ardyn and ik ive already posted pics but that was fun. i didnt take nearly enough shitty meme pictures honestly. smh. I DIDNT GET A PICTURE OF ME GETTING FRIENDZONED BY LUNAFREYA which happened. noctis did a heart hand luna thumbs up’d. rip noctis. 

cosplaying kingdom hearts is always a really fun time and im kinda glad i didnt finish riku in time bc kairi was a godsend of a costume. so comfortable. bless. and i just love being her!! im glad i brought my pins back to give out, everyone had the CUTEST reactions!! a sora also tossed me a little paopu fruit as he walked by which was really sweet and its soft and adorable!! 

it was also the first time i wore bakura which was uhhhh and experience and that costume didnt make it home in one piece lol i really didnt feel great in it but i still had some fun!! littlekuriboh complimented it lol so like, my inner 10 year old can die happy! 

i think the thing that really made this con was the people!! rooming with sharon, janice and emma was like, the best, chillest hotel room and i hadnt seen any of them in EONS i miss u guys come back to cali soon!!!! and meeting angel and aj was really nice and i had a lot of fun hanging out with them and also going to dennys at midnight in cosplay. andrew and jesse are local friends so i see them a lot but it was still fun hanging out with them at the con! they braved the outdoors to meet up with me at the ff shoot. brave souls. 

i met a lot of real cool new people too, and people id seen once or twice before at cons and got to spend more time with and everyone was just! really nice!! and fun to talk to!! hopefully the people i met felt the same about me and i didnt annoy anyone or talk anyones ear off.. too much cause i sure do that my apologies if i was the biggest pest in the universe!!! 

ALSO SPENT A LOT OF TIME IN ARTIST ALLEY LOL.. someone was selling ffxv omanjuus so i got a prompto and a noctis!! omanjuus are my absolutest favoritest kind of merch ever. im so happy. actually i mostly just bought xv merch for myself... OOPS i got some cute sorikai tho!!! i got more stickers for my travel sketchbook :3 

AND!!!!! AND I GOT TO PLAY KH3 DEMO!!!! the lines were capped for most of the weekend... except for when i walked by and one of the booth employees went “PSST HEY GUYS, WANNA PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS 3?” hells yeah. uh, i know some people dont wanna see details about kh3 until they actually play it and idk if anyones actually READING this but im gonna talk about the demo so like.. leave now if u dont wanna see any of that

the gameplay!! was so good!! it was so FAST and smooth and intuitive! but it was creative and cool and you can switch keyblades in combat and the attraction attacks are SO CUTE! theres something so emotionally satisfying about killing things with the tea cups. you could play olympus and/or toy story world if you had time to do both in the 15 minutes you got (i finished toy story and almost finished olympus!) the toy story world was so cute!! TOY SORA IS THE MOST ADORABLE and fighting in the mechs was actually really fun!! the cutscenes were included for toy story but there were 7 minutes of cutscene so i skipped it rip. there’s nothing new that hasnt been seen in trailers and stuff yet but it was super fun to actually play it!! it’s a lot like bbs/ddd gameplay but a lot better and idk, im not an expert in gamedev but it just felt like combat had a good.. flow to it and its a million lightyears away from the clunky gameplay of kh1!!!! ITS COME SO FAR!! IM PROUD! and also it just feels like its a REAL CONCRETE thing thats actually happening now that ive actually gotten a chance to play it for real. kh3 isnt fake yall. wow. wow. 

ANYWAY. THAT WAS A LOT OF TALKING AND I FEEL LIKE THERES A HUNDRED MORE THINGS I WANNA SAY it was a good weekend. im very tired. im so sad its over. idk when my next con is but im hoping mayyybe ala???? maybe????????? we’ll see! other than that uhhh i really just have disneyland planned so... i guess its time to actually finish riku for the halloween party.