#if it could speak Ineffable Husbands would've gone on vacation to Alpha Centauri already

[ripoffyourhalo]

I think Aziraphale got "arrested" to become Heaven's puppet.

Basically anything Metatron says sounds like a load of BS. Aziraphale does not make any more sense to be the Commander than any other angel. He's an outlaw. He lies. The qualities Metatron assigns him sound either vague or more like Crowley. Gabriel did not come to Aziraphale because of those qualities as he didn't even know Aziraphale at the time. (I'd say it's more of a you're the only familiar aura on this plane because you're also an angel in love with a demon kinda thing.)

Aziraphale has stopped an end of the world before, so maybe now Heaven is trying a different approach. If you can't keep them in check by killing them or taking away their rights, pacify them by giving them a false sense of being in control. Why the hell else would Heaven want to put Aziraphale in charge of ending the world if not to take him out of the way of the end of the world.

The "you can take Crowley with you" part is a total sham. Metatron knew Crowley wouldn't go. The comments he makes about Crowley are so fucking condenscending considering how Crowley is possibly the most intelligent being we know of. It was a scheme to separate them.

When Aziraphale returns to the bookshop, Crowley very extensively asks him to let him speak first, emphasizing that it's about something important. Aziraphale interrupts him and immediately condradicts his request by asking him to "Hold that thought" and speaking himself. The off-note here is even further emphasized by Aziraphale taking a second to remind himself what the expression is, even though he's already interrupted Crowley. This exchange just seems grating as for them, who tend to mold themselves to the other like warm butter.

"What's that lovely human expression". Huh. Dude, you've been on Earth for eons, you eat food, you do all the human things. Crowley even sleeps. Is it normal for him to say "human expression"?

When he's speaking, he's not excited. He's nervous. He's only truly excited when he's talking about making Crowley an angel. He only pulled out the "I could make a difference" card because he didn't expect Crowley to refuse.

The puppet part starts being more visible when Metatron enters the bookshop. It's like whenever Aziraphale looks towards Metatron, he's going under his influence. Whenever he looks towards Crowley, he partially regains his own will. Think of Metatron and Crowley as magnets battling for magnet-Aziraphale.

When Metatron asks Aziraphale if he can think of anything to take with him, the "Ah" sounds as if he'd already known the answer. Then Aziraphale looks towards the window and wants to change his mind but as soon as he takes a few steps closer to Metatron, he hesitates and it's "nothing". Now, normally I'd chalk the smile up to "fake it 'til you make it" but the little laugh after that? Could still be Aziraphale forcing himself to appear calm and content but ?? if so, then that could have been presented in so many different ways. But the little laugh seems almost as if it came out of him naturally, while we know he sure as hell isn't in a jolly mood. It creeps me out.

When Metatron says "the Second Calling" the sound effect when Aziraphale stops smiling sounds like some invisible power stops working. It makes me think of old computer games with spells and mana. Aziraphale regains his wits and maybe even knows something's wrong. The close-up on Metatron afterwards is his power spiking up the control on Aziraphale, that's why Zira smiles and very stiffly turns to Crowley. Maybe he already knows he's in big trouble. Maybe he wants Crowley to come save him. But Crowley is far away and his Metatron's influence wins over.

Now whatever psychodelic-smiley-murderous-delight is going on with Aziraphale during the credits... Lord save us. Especially since we have Crowley's wanna reclaim my flat and fall flat onto the first flat surface I find for the next 100 years behavior for comparison.

As for why I said it was an "arrest" – well, according to this theory Aziraphale didn't go willingly, is still and outlaw (who just commited another crime of sheltering Gabriel), and couldn't be delt with with Heaven's usual methods. Crowley did say an angel could say blahblahblahblahblah (which can be understood as using nonsensical reasoning) to arrest somebody. Those two scenes could be parallels, all the more so they're using the same elevator to get to Heaven.