#if leftovers go bad? or produce molds before i can use it? im satan incarnate
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U know when ur brain is Like That and whatever it is you have to eat is suddenly Illegal???
#the duality of fran#ughhhhh i am upset with myself#i have issues with leftovers. just generally#so mostly i only ever cool things i can tolerate as leftover#i have the last batch of that pumpkin soup#that i do NOT want to eat and its all gross and it's not like. rotten#but trying to force myself to eat it sounds like hell rn#but also guilt complex abt food yknow????#im not doing anyonr any favours by just skipping lunch bc my brain hates the thought of it rn#i think. I'm just gonna have to toss it. eaf a granola bar (i always carry some for this reason)#and then. try to forgive myself. eat a proper dinner#i think i hate depression food obessions more than i hate the actual depression sometimes#ughhh and i have to meal plan#i go insane if i eat the same thing always but i also get so nervous trying new foods#bc my mother lives in my brain and yells at me anytime anything turns out bad or where i cant force myself to eat it#i only ever try things that im 90% sure I'll like#And still.#unfortunately. i am realizing my mother left me with major food anxieties#just not in the usual ED way. i got the guilt complex food waste if i don't clear my plate im sinning way#if leftovers go bad? or produce molds before i can use it? im satan incarnate#BUT ONLY ME. EVERYONE ELSE IS FINE. THIS STANDARD ONLY APPLIES TO ME
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