#if shit goes stupid. ran out today. i'm furious bc it's gonna fuck up my focus. i'm feeling the pressure
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Does anybody wanna grab me by the hair and smash my head into the wall and smash my head into the wall and smash my head into the wall and smash my head into the walland . I could use a little help hwre.
#sorry i just. i really have just been in an absolutely foul state. i don't even know when i'll fucking relax LMFAO#i'm seething. i'm dreading. i'm agonizing. i've laid myself bare. i've accepted my fate. i'm doubling down.#it's more than the banner LMFAO like. i'm mad that my med refill isn't ready even though i called for one#i think there's a shortage. but bad timing like. when refill day lands on a friday and you can't do anything about it til monday#if shit goes stupid. ran out today. i'm furious bc it's gonna fuck up my focus. i'm feeling the pressure#like too much time has passed. i really need to buckle down and do more sharena week things.#and. of all the fuckinh shit timing. well. tbh there is never a good time for it. it is always a horror when it happens.#but i will write and draw some of the most achingly tender sibling things and then.#some motherfucker comes home and crashes here for god knows how long and i just have to live w that.#and honestly. it makes. my process a lot more difficult. sometimes it's enough to make up unable to interact w my fixations completely.#one thing about me and the askr siblings is. all of my grief is stored in there.#grief that has nowhere to go. grief for things that were never meant for me. forever out of reach.#idk. like. realistically none of these things are really a big deal. except maybe the meds. that is upsetting.#but like i don't caaaare. i'm gonna scream and cry and bleed all over the place and writhe and throw up.
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